Drop Dead Diva s01e09 Episode Script
The Dress
See that aspiring model there? That was me-- Deb-- until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason and, well, I sure hope I was right.
::: Timecodes - gius ::: Wow! You are adorable.
Thank you.
So are you.
Feel this -- Suede patina.
Gorgeous.
Oh, I insist you try this on.
Oh, you're sweet, but I'm waiting for a friend.
Can I get you something to drink? Iced chai, cappuccino? I can send Marcus out for a smoothie.
I'm fine, really.
Sweetie, you got here early.
You're never early.
Hello! We're shopping on Rodeo Drive.
If I died, this is how I imagine heaven.
You'd be totally wrong.
Right.
So, I've been browsing.
This stuff is pretty pricey, but it comes with free drinks.
- Want a cappuccino? - Sure! I'm sorry.
The machine just broke.
That's okay.
I haven't been this excited since we found those Louboutin heels at 51% off.
It was supposed to be 15%, but yay, dyslexia! Okay, starting today I'm giving myself a fashion makeover.
Step one -- The perfect dress.
There she is.
Zero, zero, 2 That's it? Oh, I'm sure they keep more in the back.
Hello, Marcus? - Hi.
So, we need a size -- - 12.
Um, nothing larger than a 10.
- In the whole store? - That's right.
But why? No! No, when I was skinny, I couldn't afford this place.
And now that I can, I'd really like this dress.
And I'd like a villa in mustique.
Excuse me?! Inside voices.
You are upsetting the customers.
Hold on, you Clay "Faiken".
We are customers, and we are upset! Ma'am, don't take this the wrong way, but she is just not our "brand".
- Is there a problem here? - Yes! My friend saw an ad for this dress.
It's beautiful.
It's totally her.
It's intended for a different silhouette.
She took the morning off of work, which is a big deal.
And we both drove across town in rush hour to buy this dress.
There's an outlet store about a mile down on your left.
I'm sure they'll find a respectable, A-line, darted -- Something flowy and appropriate.
They have a large selection.
A- are you asking us to leave? And have a nice day.
Coffee? Two sugars, right? Um, sure.
But last time I asked you for coffee you said it was below your pay grade.
And that was when I was a first year.
Now that we're more like colleagues, consider it a friendly gesture.
What do you want, friend? If I'm gonna make partner, I need more substantial, challenging cases.
I'd like you to send those types of clients my way.
- Parker, I have to talk to you.
- Middle of something here.
Stacy and I were just shopping at PDQ.
See, I wanted to buy this dress -- - An awesome dress.
- The store didn't carry my size and they practically threw us out.
They were very, very rude.
Please get to the point.
The store is part of a retail chain -- Deep pockets.
It means they have a lot of money.
She explained it to me in the car.
She also told me that "res ipsa loquitur" is a legal term.
But doesn't it sound like a large dinosaur? Okay, so you want to sue PDQ, which I would never say no to.
- What's your cause of action? - Oh! Oh! Oh! Her right to shop.
Gonna have to do better than that.
And since a lawyer who represents herself has a fool for a client, you'll need representation.
Kim! No.
I mean, as much as I support Jane's desire to improve her wardrobe - I don't think so.
- That's okay.
I can find someone else.
Kim, since when do you turn down a challenging case? Excuse me, Mr.
Parker.
There's a guy in the lobby waiting for you.
He's got broad shoulders and no wedding ring, so if he asks about me I'm single with a cheery disposition.
- She doesn't even like me -- - Seriously, I'm very busy -- This firm was built on cutting-edge legal theories.
We took cases no one else wanted.
You may have to think outside the box, but there's a case here, and I can smell it.
And this is how associates prove themselves.
Thanks, friend.
Hey, Kevin Hanson.
Good to see you, man.
- It's been a while.
- Yeah, too long.
It feels like we were just playing beer pong in the dorm basement.
Yeah, well, uh, that was a lifetime ago.
On the phone you sounded upset.
Everything okay? Can we speak privately? Sure.
In front of the other customers, this woman ushers me out of the store.
I've never been so humiliated.
What about the time you lost that breath mint in your cleavage right in front of the partners? - This is serious, Kim.
- Very serious.
Quid pro quo.
- Do you even know what that means? - Not exactly but I do know that being a lawyer is like having a super-power and you better use your power to help my friend.
Thank you, Stacy.
Would you excuse us? Wonder woman here needs some alone time with your friend.
I will be right outside.
Kim's representing Jane in a lawsuit? Oh, I can't talk about it.
I'm hoping to be a character witness.
That's perfect, because you are a character.
Thank you.
Your blouse is so cute.
Really? You like it? Um I didn't say that.
"Party Girls Go Wild.
" - My daughter's in it.
- What? Jenny? Wasn't I just at her 4-year-old birthday party at the pony park? Yeah, 14 years ago.
On her 18th birthday, she was visiting her mother in Boca.
To celebrate, she and some of her girlfriends went out to a club.
She signed a consent form and lifted her shirt for the camera.
Kevin, I'm so sorry.
Uh you know I would do anything for you or Jenny.
How can I help? I was hoping you could get an injunction.
Stop them from selling any more of this trash.
She's of age, and she signed a consent form.
All right, look, Jay, you and I didn't just drift apart over the last few years.
- What? - Whenever we'd get together you'd go on and on and on about your job.
Frankly, it was hard to listen to.
- Kevin, what are you talking -- - That's why I stopped coming to poker night.
You'd sit there brag about how you twisted the law and manipulated the jury so you could win some long shot of a case.
Don't get me wrong -- Very happy for your success but it always bothered me that you didn't em to care about right and wrong.
You took pride in victory at any cost.
Well, I'm a lawyer.
That's what I do.
Good.
I want you to do that for me.
I'm sure this isn't the first time a store didn't carry your size.
- It's not? - Why now? Well, I'm sure you're right.
But, you know, at some point, enough is enough is enough.
Thank you, Donna Summer, but you can't sue for hurt feelings.
Seriously, Jane, you're a smart lawyer, but I think you're too emotionally involved in this.
This won't get past summary judgement.
Well, if you don't think you can handle it, I'll ask Parker for another lawyer.
You know I can't let you do that.
But regardless of my personal feelings -- You know, what are your personal feelings, Kim? It doesn't matter.
It does to me.
Come on, how do you feel about this case? How do you feel about your client? When I look at you I see poor Jane banging her drum because she couldn't buy a dress she wanted.
Poor Jane.
Do you know why I want my day in court why this is so important to me? Why? Because of people like you.
Let me get this straight, Ms.
Kaswell.
You're arguing that PDQ has violated your client's rights because they don't carry her size? I realize I'm asking you to extend federal protections -- Stop, counselor.
Retail outlets can choose to sell what they want.
- The case will not be going forward.
- Your honor we're also suing or negligent infliction of emotional distress.
- What are you doing? - You have 10 seconds.
The store advertises in women's magazines targeted to the average woman.
Given that 66.
3% of all women are considered overweight by the AMA the store knowingly taunts a majority of women who can't wear their garments.
- That's ridiculous.
- You're right.
It is ridiculous.
I mean, why would PDQ want to disappoint so many women? - Your honor, do you read "Vogue"? - I do.
And what dress size do you wear? Larger than a size 10, that's for damn sure.
Your honor, she's wasting the court's time.
I'll be the judge of that.
Jury selection begins this afternoon.
Jenny Hanson read and signed this release form.
It's ironclad.
We have no intention of removing the DVD from the market.
We believe Jenny signed this document under duress, thereby rendering it invalid.
That's bogus.
How do you sleep at night? I run a successful business, and I sleep like a baby.
Well, you're not gonna get away with it.
Not this time.
Your daughter knew what she was doing, Mr.
Hanson.
- Aw, like hell she did.
- Dad, hold on.
It's true.
- Nobody forced me to sign -- - Jenny, I'm advising you to stay quiet.
They took advantage of the situation.
You were caught up in the moment -- Stop.
Mr.
Parker, nobody took advantage of me.
- Jenny, let us handle this.
- Dad, I know that this is hard for you but I'm an adult, and I can make my own decisions.
Honey.
She's feisty.
- Do you have any kids, Mr.
Mack? - Nope, but if I did I wouldn't let them be in something like this.
Let's go.
Uh, hold on.
Just one more thing.
Kevin! I think I'll put Jenny on the cover of our next release.
- Get out of here.
- See you in court.
We'll be suing your client for assault.
- Where are you going? - Jury selection on your case.
- I'm going with you.
- I don't think so.
It's my legal right to be there, and I want to exercise it.
I'm all for exercising.
I can even recommend a gym.
But I know how to select a jury.
I'm not saying you don't, but I might have a different perspective that could be helpful.
Look, you hijacked me at summary judgment, and you were lucky to get a sympathetic judge - but I can handle this.
- I know, Kim, but -- If you want me to treat you like a real client, you need to act like one -- You can't manage me.
Well, if I thought you believed in the case, I'd back off, but you don't.
As your lawyer, I will do whatever it takes to win, but you're right -- If I were on that jury, I would tell you to grow up or go on a diet.
Which is exactly why I'll be at that jury selection.
Ms.
Carrera, how long have you been married, and what is your husband's profession? He's a podiatrist.
Our 10th anniversary is Tuesday.
Ms.
Carrera is acceptable.
- To us as well.
- Wait.
One more question.
Ms.
Carrera, you have a nice figure.
Do you have to watch your weight? High metabolism.
So, happily, no.
The plaintiffs exercise a peremptory challenge.
Ms.
Carrera, you're excused.
Yes, I'm married, with five terrific kids.
- Take him.
- Why? His wife has given birth five times.
Chances are she's not wearing outfits from PDQ.
Acceptable.
No, I don't know the names of any clothing designers.
She doesn't care about clothing.
That's the heart of our case.
It's 75 degrees, and she's wearing a scarf.
It's probably hiding a double chin.
She would relate to another woman who's treated differently because of her size.
- Right.
- Acceptable.
My name's Alessandro Van -- - Pass.
- Excused.
No, I've never filed a lawsuit, and I've never been sued.
He's wearing a toupee.
He'd understand body issues.
This isn't about my body issues.
This is about a store who has issues with my body.
Society tells women to be thin and men to have a good head of hair.
- Acceptable.
- Acceptable.
Our jury is impaneled.
See you all back here first thing tomorrow.
Sorry to interrupt.
We just got your text.
Kim, Jane, this is Mr.
Warren Gunther.
He's one of the firm's biggest clients.
- Nice to meet you.
- We have a bit of a situation.
See, I didn't realize that Mr.
Gunther owns 25% of PDQ through his diversified holding company.
I'm the single largest shareholder.
Well, in that case, I'd like to give your 25% a piece of my mind.
Jane, that's not why he's here.
You're dropping the case.
What? No, you said I could sue.
You told me to find a cause of action, and I did.
And I appreciate the effort, but given the circumstances I'm telling you to withdraw the complaint.
- You have a problem with that? - Not at all.
Consider it dropped.
No way.
I am sorry -- Jane, this is not up for discussion.
You work for Harrison & Parker.
I'm Parker.
My decision is final.
In summation, I'd like to say Bill Bailey, won't you please Come home, come home, Bill Bailey Bill Bailey, won't you please Come on ho-me Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Jane, your voice blows me away.
Effortless, passionate, you even show vulnerability.
Bill Bailey's definitely coming home.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But, Jane, he's gonna head straight for the hills once he sees that monochromatic microfiber.
- What? - Yeah.
No.
Paula.
You tell everyone they look great.
Jane, you bring it with your voice but you lose it with that choice.
I mean, even I did something with this black polyester tragedy.
Belted and bedazzled.
You're right.
Tell me, Jane -- Why didn't you dress more like your co-counsel? Now, that dress moves me.
It's modern cut yet recalls the classic Chanel little black dress.
And wait till you hear me sing.
Why? You don't need to.
With that dress alone you're gonna make it to the final four.
Objection! Good, Jane.
You should object.
But not to me.
To PDQ for the way that they treated you.
Wait a minute.
You know about PDQ? - You know about my lawsuit? - Paula knows everything.
But what I do know most is that you have an amazing and unique voice.
Don't give up the fight.
I won't, your honor Abdul.
It's nice being the only judge.
Good luck, Jane.
Jane? Jane.
Jane! Jane? Jane! Good morning, sunshine.
Wow, you haven't pulled an all-nighter since before you were shot.
I just had the strangest dream.
Paula Abdul was a judge, and I was singing this old song that we used to sing at Camp Winnipesaukee.
Okay, no more chili after midnight.
What's this? Fruit, tea, and a bear claw from your favorite bakery.
Yes.
I got up at 5:00 a.
m.
and drove to Simi Valley because I am so damn proud of you.
Proud of -- why? Jane, in high school, I wore the same two pairs of jeans in rotation, because I didn't want to go to the mall.
'Cause you were poor.
No, because I didn't always have this perfect, flawless body and my self-esteem was in the toilet.
I was, um I was a big girl, and the salespeople always made me feel like anything other than skinny was wrong.
And you are telling those people that we are not the problem -- They are.
You know Parker told me to drop the case? Yeah, but you were here all night, which means you're not listening to him.
So let's brush your hair.
- Is Parker here yet? - Whoo.
And teeth.
Yeah, he's nuking his breakfast burrito in the kitchen.
Okay.
Parker, I need to talk to you.
I have a morning meeting, but you can have 20 seconds.
All right, well, normally, I wouldn't have to write all this out but I'm tired, so here it goes.
"If you try and prevent me from suing PDQ "I can file a claim against you for violating the protections afforded me "under the California Labor Code, in particular "the section on retaliatory employment activities.
Hence, and theretofore, I will sue PDQ, or I will sue you.
" Do you want to get your burrito? Are you threatening the man who hired you and gave you that corner office? I don't really think of it as a threat.
I think of it more as Okay, remember when Jennifer Hudson was on "American Idol", and Simon was all like "You are going nowhere, Jennifer Hudson.
You are not the American Idol" and then J-Hud went on to win the Oscar for "Dreamgirls".
And then Simon was like, "I'm sorry, Jennifer Hudson.
What was I thinking?" You don't want to be Simon, do you? - Is this when you start singing? - My point is -- I don't like ultimatums, Bingum.
Well, then consider it a strong request.
Parker, please.
I have to do this.
And as the man who hired me, it would mean a lot if I had your support.
I'll speak to Warren.
I'll tell him I don't support your suit but I won't stop it, either.
Thank you.
Kim.
I don't eat burritos for breakfast, Parker.
That's disgusting.
You're back on the PDQ case.
Uh - What did you do? - Better get to work, Kim.
- Good morning.
- I know it's none of my business and you guys have your needs.
- Jane.
- Pornography is a huge industry with $12 billion in annual sales a year, even in a soft economy.
- Oh! How do I know that? - I don't -- You should at least close the blinds, okay? - This isn't funny.
- Oh.
No.
Pornography is not appropriate at work.
Especially at 9:00 a.
m.
- I'm on a case.
- Oh, yeah.
Nice try.
This is Jenny Hanson.
Parker's friends with her father.
He asked me to review the material.
I'm looking for grounds to get an injunction.
Well, then, I'm embarrassed.
- I didn't mean -- - Don't worry about it.
At that age, we all do things we regret, don't we? You'd think.
But she doesn't seem to regret it.
Yeah, right.
What teenager wants to admit they were pressured into doing something? I mean, trust me, I know.
Uh, this is humiliating but when I was 18, I entered a wet t-shirt contest.
And it ended up on the internet, and my parents saw it.
I was mortified, but I pretended like I couldn't care less.
- I don't believe it.
- No, it's true.
I swear.
I even came in second.
I believe you.
It's just the exact same thing happened to Deb.
At Bar Five, on Melrose.
Right.
It happened to me at Bar Six, on Sunset.
- There's a Bar Six? - Look, my point is every girl has her regrets.
They just don't let on.
Oh, I should get going.
Uh, good luck with your case.
I was shocked and angry.
They were rude, and then they kicked me out of their store like some sort of criminal.
Explain to the jury why you felt "shocked and angry".
Well, because I really wanted that dress.
You were angry over a dress? I don't buy it.
- What are you doing, Kim? - I know you professionally, Ms.
Bingum.
I've never seen you angry over something as trivial as a dress.
Why are you really angry? Because they made me feel like I don't count Like I was less important than someone like you.
One more question -- Did the magazine ad indicate that the dress was only available to skinny women? - Definitely not.
- Thank you.
Nothing further.
Ms.
Bingum, does a candy company need to indicate that its advertisements for chocolate aren't suitable for a diabetic? Are you comparing me to a diabetic or a dress to chocolate? I'm asking if you think all ads are geared to all people.
- Of course not, but -- - And do you think my client has a legal right to advertise its products in any magazine it chooses? - Well, yes, but -- - Thank you.
You know, you kind of caught me off guard on the stand.
You could have warned me.
I wanted your reaction to feel authentic, and it was.
The jury needs to empathize with you, right? Yeah.
Good point.
You know, for the first time, I feel like you actually understand me.
Please, I've had to listen to you whine for the past 24 hours.
- I had to make it work for us.
- Of course.
Okay, so the defense just made some very valid points.
What's our next move? Don't worry.
I have a little trick up my sleeve.
Oh, and there she is.
Stacy! Hey! - Stacy's your trick? - That's right.
Ladies, I'm ready for my close-up.
- What can I get you? - A moment of your time.
Look, Mr.
Parker, I'm not gonna say I signed that thing under duress, 'cause it's not true.
We just want to talk.
I had just moved to L.
A.
I was setting up my TV to watch the finale of a show called "Twin Peaks" but I never got to see the ending because your father called from the hospital.
I raced over with my box of Cubans and when I got there, your father was holding you.
Why are you here, Mr.
Parker? Jenny, uh this is a photo still from your video.
You see the clock in the background.
It reads 1:11 in the morning.
So what? It was April 23rd, your 18th birthday, in Florida.
But it was three hours earlier in California, where you were born.
So, technically, you weren't 18 yet.
You're technically a minor, so we might be able to stop the sale of the DVD.
If I file for an injunction, we'd like to have you on board.
I don't think so.
Jenny, your father is a good man.
He just wants to protect you.
He's too protective.
Like it or not, I'm 18, and I make my own decisions.
We know you're not ashamed of the DVD, and your participation was your choice.
- That's right.
- But think about your future.
You might not always feel the same way as you do now.
So I won't run for president, okay? I admit -- maybe it wasn't the smartest decision but it's my life, and I'll live with the consequences.
And if you tell us to drop the suit, we will, but you need to understand you have another choice here.
We have the legal grounds to fight this.
We think we can get an injunction, but it's your decision.
My name is Henri Malique.
I'm the chief fashion designer for PDQ incorporated.
So you design everything they sell? That is what the word "chief" means, yes.
Would the blonde in the third row please stand up? That's my cue.
Hi.
- Who designed this dress? - That is from my collection.
And may I say you look fantastic? Why doesn't PDQ sell anything larger than a size 10? It would be impossible to put one of my designs on a larger woman.
- Impossible.
- Yes I see.
Would Jane Bingum please stand up? Who designed Ms.
Bingum's outfit? It's my design, with some alterations.
Panels of fabric have been added to the sides.
That's right.
I had my tailor modify your design.
And Jane looks fantastic, doesn't she? Yeah, but she's not the intended silhouette.
I understand.
But you said it would be "impossible" for a larger woman to wear your design.
- Do you know what the word "impossible" means? - Objection -- badgering.
Withdrawn.
Nothing further.
Mr.
Malique, why don't you design for larger women? It's my preference.
- And my right.
- Your right? Yes, I have a contract with PDQ that gives me complete creative freedom.
So, creatively, I choose to design for a specific kind of woman.
Well, then how do you respond to women like Ms.
Bingum who can't fit into your line? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but I don't tell you how to do your job.
You shouldn't tell me how to do mine.
Nothing further.
So, that last bit didn't go so well.
If there's nothing further, we'll move on to the closing.
Kim, stop her.
If this goes to closing arguments, we've lost.
- We don't have any more witnesses.
- Then buy us some time.
Uh, your honor, may I have five minutes to conference with my client? - What's going on, counselor? - Five minutes.
That's all I need.
I'm watching the clock.
- All right, what do you want me to do, Jane? - I admit you were right.
We're not gonna win this based on the law or my feelings.
Good.
At least we agree on that.
But Parker said we have to think outside the box.
Right.
The designer claimed that he has a contract with the company allowing him to design whatever he wants, but what if we could show that the contract was counter to the company's best interests? - I don't think I follow.
- PDQ is owned by investors.
Management has a responsibility to maximize profits, right? You want me to argue that their business practices are suboptimal? Yeah, why not? We amend our complaint and push on.
The plaintiff would like to call a rebuttal witness -- Warren Gunther, the largest shareholder in PDQ.
Objection.
Mr.
Gunther has nothing relevant to add to this case.
He's on our witness list.
It's our right to question him.
He's a hands-off investor who has very little knowledge of my client's business.
- I'll be calling him as an expert witness.
- An expert on what? Um um - General business knowledge.
- General business knowledge.
- Which will be instructive to the jury.
- Which will be instructive to the jury.
I heard her, Ms.
Kaswell.
Your honor, if the defense didn't want us to call this witness they should have objected in the pretrial motion in limine.
It's S.
O.
P.
to have the names of all the major shareholders on the witness list.
We didn't think she would actually call any of them.
Well, you thought wrong.
We'll hear from Mr.
Gunther this afternoon.
- That was great.
- Parker's gonna kill you.
Why? Because if this doesn't go well, I'm telling him it was all your idea.
Given that Jenny was only and 22 hours old when you shot your footage we believe this contract is voided.
We'd like you to immediately withdraw the DVD from the marketplace.
You dragged us back to your office on a technicality? - This is getting tedious.
- She was 18.
That's what we'll say in court.
And I'm sure that might work out for you, but I think most judges will find your client so reprehensible, they'll be looking for any loophole to slap him down.
We found that loophole.
Jenny, you're 18 now.
How about you sign a new release relieving us from civil liability? My daughter is not signing anything.
Nobody can tell her what she can or can't do.
- He's right.
- Good for you, Jenny.
But let me be perfectly clear, Tyler.
If this goes to court my father will have my full support.
Hey, come on, Jenny.
Let's talk this through.
Let me buy you something, huh? Like as a thank-you.
How about a car? Now you're just pissing me off.
As I'm sure you're well aware, filming a minor is a felony.
We plan to ask the D.
A.
to pursue criminal charges.
You can bet on damages and prison time.
What do you want? An immediate injunction on all DVD sales and all profits to this point to be donated to charity.
B- be reasonable.
The costs associated with the DVD, not to mention my marketing budget -- - You'll bankrupt my production company.
- Really, I'll do that? Well, tonight, I'm gonna sleep like a baby.
Agree to our terms, or we call the D.
A.
as soon as you leave these offices.
We have a deal.
Mr.
Gunther, are you aware that the average woman in America is a size 14? No, I wasn't.
According to a recent "Los Angeles Times" article the average department store in America carries 900 different labels in the women's-wear department but only 20 of those labels are available in a size 14 or larger.
- Did you know that? - No, I didn't.
Are you aware that PDQ only sells a size 10 or smaller? Not until recently.
What size dress does your wife wear? Objection -- relevance.
Mr.
Gunther is an expert businessman.
I'm helping him contextualize the issue at hand.
I'll allow it.
I'm I'm not exactly sure.
Why don't you take a look around the room -- Find a woman with your wife's figure? You.
Your honor, you look like a size 14.
go in the record.
Are you aware that your own wife can't shop at PDQ? - I wasn't.
- It doesn't seem right, does it? - Objection.
- Withdrawn.
Your honor, the plaintiff is grandstanding.
She has not introduced a scintilla of evidence.
At this point, the defense requests for a directed verdict in favor of PDQ.
- Objection.
- What?! My argument may not have been on point, but -- But what, counselor? Even though I sympathize with your cause this is not a cause of action.
The directed verdict is hereby issued.
Case closed.
- Got a second? - Hey.
Of course.
I was just reviewing your settlement agreement.
Champagne.
To congratulate you on opening your own law firm.
You're about 10 years too late.
You brought me cigars when Jenny was born.
She's my proudest accomplishment.
I think this firm is yours.
And what you do here -- It's not all bad.
I appreciate your talk with Jenny.
She'll always be my little girl, but for now, I can't let her know that.
You know, the guys still get together every Thursday night for poker at Dewey's.
I'll see you there.
Hey, you are suffocating that pillow.
- I lost in court.
- I know.
We didn't even get a verdict from the jury.
I heard.
I'm a failure.
Cry me a river.
No, Teri.
Stacy said something about lawyers having super-powers.
And I know that that's crazy, but sometimes it feels true.
We change people's lives and I couldn't even win my own case.
You lost.
You lost before.
You'll lose again.
It's okay.
- What are you doing? - Lipless Lil.
Remember? Our client who wanted you to sue the pet salon for dying her poodle the wrong shade of pink.
Did we win? You wouldn't even take the case.
Yeah, 'cause I had more sense before I was shot.
Maybe, but now you got more pizzazz.
Thank you.
Jane, Warren Gunther is in Parker's office.
They want to see us now.
Good luck.
- Are you both trying to get fired? - It was my fault.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Gunther.
I was an overzealous advocate for myself.
And I hope you don't hold it against the firm.
Ms.
Bingum, you may have lost the battle, but you won the war.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't understand military analogies.
Ms.
Kaswell put me on the stand to make a point.
She didn't care what I had to say.
She just wanted me to listen.
- That's true.
- And here's what I heard.
I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot for not paying attention to an under-served market.
- We never said "idiot".
- So, starting immediately PDQ will start offering sizes that all women can wear.
It just makes sense from a business standpoint.
But what about Henri Malique? What if he refuses? Like she said in court, I'm a good businessman.
His contract grants him creative control over his own line.
So I simply told him that PDQ will bring in another designer to oversee a second line if he didn't feel up to the challenge.
What did he say? He stopped by my office and asked me to bring you that dress.
It's your size.
He's on board.
Well, I have to go home.
Henri also made a dress for my wife.
She's gonna be thrilled.
Thank you.
- I'll see you out.
- Thank you.
Thank you, my dear.
Bingum, why don't you stay put? Okay.
I'm ready for my lecture.
You came from a place of anger and frustration.
Normally, that translates into righteous indignation which plays well in front of a judge.
But this time, you went too far.
But you said you thought there was a case.
Remember -- You could smell it? That's because I trusted your judgment.
Really? I don't like you wasting time on frivolous lawsuits.
But I- I won the war.
So doesn't that count for something? It counts for everything.
And your zeal, whether you win or lose, is how you make partner.
Wait.
I'm confused.
Are you patting me on the back or slapping me on the wrist? If I did either, you'd probably sue me for harassment.
You did good, Bingum.
A few deep breaths before you charged ahead would've been helpful, but I'm impressed.
You have a strange way of getting to the point, by the way.
Now, you've wasted three days of billable hours so get back to work.
Good night.
What a day, huh? You can say that again.
Hey, what'd Parker want? Just for me to get back to work.
Hey, Kim? I know we don't see eye-to-eye on much but I do want to thank you.
You never liked this case, and yet you -- You gave it everything.
And I didn't always make it easy.
Well, you were just sticking up for yourself, right? - If you don't, who will? - Right.
Hey, now that PDQ carries my size maybe we can go shopping together.
Maybe.
She's late.
Are you judging her, because I will so not -- Easy there, blondie.
I'm just stating a fact.
She was supposed to be here She's here.
- Jane! Jane! - Hey! Hey! Oh, you look amazing! Thank you.
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- Oh, I didn't even notice.
Res ipsa loquitur.
Jane, will you tell her that using legal words does not make her seem smarter.
I used "fiduciary" today in yoga, and now everyone thinks I'm a genius.
Yeah, I'll stop leaving my case notes on the kitchen table.
Thanks.
I ordered you a pomegranate martini.
- Ooh.
Thank you.
- I love Pomtinis.
- They're the perfect AA drink.
- What? AA -- Alcoholic and antioxidant.
Ew! What is that stuff? Is she for real? It's calamari.
And that's not a legal term.
It means "squid".
And it's delicious.
You guys are the best.
I- I don't know what I'd do without you.
Oh, my wow.
Check out that hot cup of habeas corpus.
- Mm, figured he'd be your type.
- What's that supposed to mean? Domestic beer, designer jeans and he's tan, which means he probably doesn't have a job.
- Maybe he has a trust fund.
- Teri, what's your type? Hmm.
Mm! Mm! Biceps and glasses.
- Muscle geeks? - Oh, big time.
And he's drinking rosé, which means he's high culture with just a touch of trailer trash.
Mmm, mmm, good.
- How about you, Jane? - Oh, I'm not looking.
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah, right.
I'm not looking right now.
Tonight, I just want to enjoy this cocktail and feel amazing in this dress, and hang out with you guys.
- Is that okay? - Totally okay.
So, you gonna eat some of this calamari or what? Oh I don't do fried.
Open up, twiggy.
I'd do what she says.
- Oh, my God.
- I know, right? Hey.
To you guys and this hot dress and calamari.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason and, well, I sure hope I was right.
::: Timecodes - gius ::: Wow! You are adorable.
Thank you.
So are you.
Feel this -- Suede patina.
Gorgeous.
Oh, I insist you try this on.
Oh, you're sweet, but I'm waiting for a friend.
Can I get you something to drink? Iced chai, cappuccino? I can send Marcus out for a smoothie.
I'm fine, really.
Sweetie, you got here early.
You're never early.
Hello! We're shopping on Rodeo Drive.
If I died, this is how I imagine heaven.
You'd be totally wrong.
Right.
So, I've been browsing.
This stuff is pretty pricey, but it comes with free drinks.
- Want a cappuccino? - Sure! I'm sorry.
The machine just broke.
That's okay.
I haven't been this excited since we found those Louboutin heels at 51% off.
It was supposed to be 15%, but yay, dyslexia! Okay, starting today I'm giving myself a fashion makeover.
Step one -- The perfect dress.
There she is.
Zero, zero, 2 That's it? Oh, I'm sure they keep more in the back.
Hello, Marcus? - Hi.
So, we need a size -- - 12.
Um, nothing larger than a 10.
- In the whole store? - That's right.
But why? No! No, when I was skinny, I couldn't afford this place.
And now that I can, I'd really like this dress.
And I'd like a villa in mustique.
Excuse me?! Inside voices.
You are upsetting the customers.
Hold on, you Clay "Faiken".
We are customers, and we are upset! Ma'am, don't take this the wrong way, but she is just not our "brand".
- Is there a problem here? - Yes! My friend saw an ad for this dress.
It's beautiful.
It's totally her.
It's intended for a different silhouette.
She took the morning off of work, which is a big deal.
And we both drove across town in rush hour to buy this dress.
There's an outlet store about a mile down on your left.
I'm sure they'll find a respectable, A-line, darted -- Something flowy and appropriate.
They have a large selection.
A- are you asking us to leave? And have a nice day.
Coffee? Two sugars, right? Um, sure.
But last time I asked you for coffee you said it was below your pay grade.
And that was when I was a first year.
Now that we're more like colleagues, consider it a friendly gesture.
What do you want, friend? If I'm gonna make partner, I need more substantial, challenging cases.
I'd like you to send those types of clients my way.
- Parker, I have to talk to you.
- Middle of something here.
Stacy and I were just shopping at PDQ.
See, I wanted to buy this dress -- - An awesome dress.
- The store didn't carry my size and they practically threw us out.
They were very, very rude.
Please get to the point.
The store is part of a retail chain -- Deep pockets.
It means they have a lot of money.
She explained it to me in the car.
She also told me that "res ipsa loquitur" is a legal term.
But doesn't it sound like a large dinosaur? Okay, so you want to sue PDQ, which I would never say no to.
- What's your cause of action? - Oh! Oh! Oh! Her right to shop.
Gonna have to do better than that.
And since a lawyer who represents herself has a fool for a client, you'll need representation.
Kim! No.
I mean, as much as I support Jane's desire to improve her wardrobe - I don't think so.
- That's okay.
I can find someone else.
Kim, since when do you turn down a challenging case? Excuse me, Mr.
Parker.
There's a guy in the lobby waiting for you.
He's got broad shoulders and no wedding ring, so if he asks about me I'm single with a cheery disposition.
- She doesn't even like me -- - Seriously, I'm very busy -- This firm was built on cutting-edge legal theories.
We took cases no one else wanted.
You may have to think outside the box, but there's a case here, and I can smell it.
And this is how associates prove themselves.
Thanks, friend.
Hey, Kevin Hanson.
Good to see you, man.
- It's been a while.
- Yeah, too long.
It feels like we were just playing beer pong in the dorm basement.
Yeah, well, uh, that was a lifetime ago.
On the phone you sounded upset.
Everything okay? Can we speak privately? Sure.
In front of the other customers, this woman ushers me out of the store.
I've never been so humiliated.
What about the time you lost that breath mint in your cleavage right in front of the partners? - This is serious, Kim.
- Very serious.
Quid pro quo.
- Do you even know what that means? - Not exactly but I do know that being a lawyer is like having a super-power and you better use your power to help my friend.
Thank you, Stacy.
Would you excuse us? Wonder woman here needs some alone time with your friend.
I will be right outside.
Kim's representing Jane in a lawsuit? Oh, I can't talk about it.
I'm hoping to be a character witness.
That's perfect, because you are a character.
Thank you.
Your blouse is so cute.
Really? You like it? Um I didn't say that.
"Party Girls Go Wild.
" - My daughter's in it.
- What? Jenny? Wasn't I just at her 4-year-old birthday party at the pony park? Yeah, 14 years ago.
On her 18th birthday, she was visiting her mother in Boca.
To celebrate, she and some of her girlfriends went out to a club.
She signed a consent form and lifted her shirt for the camera.
Kevin, I'm so sorry.
Uh you know I would do anything for you or Jenny.
How can I help? I was hoping you could get an injunction.
Stop them from selling any more of this trash.
She's of age, and she signed a consent form.
All right, look, Jay, you and I didn't just drift apart over the last few years.
- What? - Whenever we'd get together you'd go on and on and on about your job.
Frankly, it was hard to listen to.
- Kevin, what are you talking -- - That's why I stopped coming to poker night.
You'd sit there brag about how you twisted the law and manipulated the jury so you could win some long shot of a case.
Don't get me wrong -- Very happy for your success but it always bothered me that you didn't em to care about right and wrong.
You took pride in victory at any cost.
Well, I'm a lawyer.
That's what I do.
Good.
I want you to do that for me.
I'm sure this isn't the first time a store didn't carry your size.
- It's not? - Why now? Well, I'm sure you're right.
But, you know, at some point, enough is enough is enough.
Thank you, Donna Summer, but you can't sue for hurt feelings.
Seriously, Jane, you're a smart lawyer, but I think you're too emotionally involved in this.
This won't get past summary judgement.
Well, if you don't think you can handle it, I'll ask Parker for another lawyer.
You know I can't let you do that.
But regardless of my personal feelings -- You know, what are your personal feelings, Kim? It doesn't matter.
It does to me.
Come on, how do you feel about this case? How do you feel about your client? When I look at you I see poor Jane banging her drum because she couldn't buy a dress she wanted.
Poor Jane.
Do you know why I want my day in court why this is so important to me? Why? Because of people like you.
Let me get this straight, Ms.
Kaswell.
You're arguing that PDQ has violated your client's rights because they don't carry her size? I realize I'm asking you to extend federal protections -- Stop, counselor.
Retail outlets can choose to sell what they want.
- The case will not be going forward.
- Your honor we're also suing or negligent infliction of emotional distress.
- What are you doing? - You have 10 seconds.
The store advertises in women's magazines targeted to the average woman.
Given that 66.
3% of all women are considered overweight by the AMA the store knowingly taunts a majority of women who can't wear their garments.
- That's ridiculous.
- You're right.
It is ridiculous.
I mean, why would PDQ want to disappoint so many women? - Your honor, do you read "Vogue"? - I do.
And what dress size do you wear? Larger than a size 10, that's for damn sure.
Your honor, she's wasting the court's time.
I'll be the judge of that.
Jury selection begins this afternoon.
Jenny Hanson read and signed this release form.
It's ironclad.
We have no intention of removing the DVD from the market.
We believe Jenny signed this document under duress, thereby rendering it invalid.
That's bogus.
How do you sleep at night? I run a successful business, and I sleep like a baby.
Well, you're not gonna get away with it.
Not this time.
Your daughter knew what she was doing, Mr.
Hanson.
- Aw, like hell she did.
- Dad, hold on.
It's true.
- Nobody forced me to sign -- - Jenny, I'm advising you to stay quiet.
They took advantage of the situation.
You were caught up in the moment -- Stop.
Mr.
Parker, nobody took advantage of me.
- Jenny, let us handle this.
- Dad, I know that this is hard for you but I'm an adult, and I can make my own decisions.
Honey.
She's feisty.
- Do you have any kids, Mr.
Mack? - Nope, but if I did I wouldn't let them be in something like this.
Let's go.
Uh, hold on.
Just one more thing.
Kevin! I think I'll put Jenny on the cover of our next release.
- Get out of here.
- See you in court.
We'll be suing your client for assault.
- Where are you going? - Jury selection on your case.
- I'm going with you.
- I don't think so.
It's my legal right to be there, and I want to exercise it.
I'm all for exercising.
I can even recommend a gym.
But I know how to select a jury.
I'm not saying you don't, but I might have a different perspective that could be helpful.
Look, you hijacked me at summary judgment, and you were lucky to get a sympathetic judge - but I can handle this.
- I know, Kim, but -- If you want me to treat you like a real client, you need to act like one -- You can't manage me.
Well, if I thought you believed in the case, I'd back off, but you don't.
As your lawyer, I will do whatever it takes to win, but you're right -- If I were on that jury, I would tell you to grow up or go on a diet.
Which is exactly why I'll be at that jury selection.
Ms.
Carrera, how long have you been married, and what is your husband's profession? He's a podiatrist.
Our 10th anniversary is Tuesday.
Ms.
Carrera is acceptable.
- To us as well.
- Wait.
One more question.
Ms.
Carrera, you have a nice figure.
Do you have to watch your weight? High metabolism.
So, happily, no.
The plaintiffs exercise a peremptory challenge.
Ms.
Carrera, you're excused.
Yes, I'm married, with five terrific kids.
- Take him.
- Why? His wife has given birth five times.
Chances are she's not wearing outfits from PDQ.
Acceptable.
No, I don't know the names of any clothing designers.
She doesn't care about clothing.
That's the heart of our case.
It's 75 degrees, and she's wearing a scarf.
It's probably hiding a double chin.
She would relate to another woman who's treated differently because of her size.
- Right.
- Acceptable.
My name's Alessandro Van -- - Pass.
- Excused.
No, I've never filed a lawsuit, and I've never been sued.
He's wearing a toupee.
He'd understand body issues.
This isn't about my body issues.
This is about a store who has issues with my body.
Society tells women to be thin and men to have a good head of hair.
- Acceptable.
- Acceptable.
Our jury is impaneled.
See you all back here first thing tomorrow.
Sorry to interrupt.
We just got your text.
Kim, Jane, this is Mr.
Warren Gunther.
He's one of the firm's biggest clients.
- Nice to meet you.
- We have a bit of a situation.
See, I didn't realize that Mr.
Gunther owns 25% of PDQ through his diversified holding company.
I'm the single largest shareholder.
Well, in that case, I'd like to give your 25% a piece of my mind.
Jane, that's not why he's here.
You're dropping the case.
What? No, you said I could sue.
You told me to find a cause of action, and I did.
And I appreciate the effort, but given the circumstances I'm telling you to withdraw the complaint.
- You have a problem with that? - Not at all.
Consider it dropped.
No way.
I am sorry -- Jane, this is not up for discussion.
You work for Harrison & Parker.
I'm Parker.
My decision is final.
In summation, I'd like to say Bill Bailey, won't you please Come home, come home, Bill Bailey Bill Bailey, won't you please Come on ho-me Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Jane, your voice blows me away.
Effortless, passionate, you even show vulnerability.
Bill Bailey's definitely coming home.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But, Jane, he's gonna head straight for the hills once he sees that monochromatic microfiber.
- What? - Yeah.
No.
Paula.
You tell everyone they look great.
Jane, you bring it with your voice but you lose it with that choice.
I mean, even I did something with this black polyester tragedy.
Belted and bedazzled.
You're right.
Tell me, Jane -- Why didn't you dress more like your co-counsel? Now, that dress moves me.
It's modern cut yet recalls the classic Chanel little black dress.
And wait till you hear me sing.
Why? You don't need to.
With that dress alone you're gonna make it to the final four.
Objection! Good, Jane.
You should object.
But not to me.
To PDQ for the way that they treated you.
Wait a minute.
You know about PDQ? - You know about my lawsuit? - Paula knows everything.
But what I do know most is that you have an amazing and unique voice.
Don't give up the fight.
I won't, your honor Abdul.
It's nice being the only judge.
Good luck, Jane.
Jane? Jane.
Jane! Jane? Jane! Good morning, sunshine.
Wow, you haven't pulled an all-nighter since before you were shot.
I just had the strangest dream.
Paula Abdul was a judge, and I was singing this old song that we used to sing at Camp Winnipesaukee.
Okay, no more chili after midnight.
What's this? Fruit, tea, and a bear claw from your favorite bakery.
Yes.
I got up at 5:00 a.
m.
and drove to Simi Valley because I am so damn proud of you.
Proud of -- why? Jane, in high school, I wore the same two pairs of jeans in rotation, because I didn't want to go to the mall.
'Cause you were poor.
No, because I didn't always have this perfect, flawless body and my self-esteem was in the toilet.
I was, um I was a big girl, and the salespeople always made me feel like anything other than skinny was wrong.
And you are telling those people that we are not the problem -- They are.
You know Parker told me to drop the case? Yeah, but you were here all night, which means you're not listening to him.
So let's brush your hair.
- Is Parker here yet? - Whoo.
And teeth.
Yeah, he's nuking his breakfast burrito in the kitchen.
Okay.
Parker, I need to talk to you.
I have a morning meeting, but you can have 20 seconds.
All right, well, normally, I wouldn't have to write all this out but I'm tired, so here it goes.
"If you try and prevent me from suing PDQ "I can file a claim against you for violating the protections afforded me "under the California Labor Code, in particular "the section on retaliatory employment activities.
Hence, and theretofore, I will sue PDQ, or I will sue you.
" Do you want to get your burrito? Are you threatening the man who hired you and gave you that corner office? I don't really think of it as a threat.
I think of it more as Okay, remember when Jennifer Hudson was on "American Idol", and Simon was all like "You are going nowhere, Jennifer Hudson.
You are not the American Idol" and then J-Hud went on to win the Oscar for "Dreamgirls".
And then Simon was like, "I'm sorry, Jennifer Hudson.
What was I thinking?" You don't want to be Simon, do you? - Is this when you start singing? - My point is -- I don't like ultimatums, Bingum.
Well, then consider it a strong request.
Parker, please.
I have to do this.
And as the man who hired me, it would mean a lot if I had your support.
I'll speak to Warren.
I'll tell him I don't support your suit but I won't stop it, either.
Thank you.
Kim.
I don't eat burritos for breakfast, Parker.
That's disgusting.
You're back on the PDQ case.
Uh - What did you do? - Better get to work, Kim.
- Good morning.
- I know it's none of my business and you guys have your needs.
- Jane.
- Pornography is a huge industry with $12 billion in annual sales a year, even in a soft economy.
- Oh! How do I know that? - I don't -- You should at least close the blinds, okay? - This isn't funny.
- Oh.
No.
Pornography is not appropriate at work.
Especially at 9:00 a.
m.
- I'm on a case.
- Oh, yeah.
Nice try.
This is Jenny Hanson.
Parker's friends with her father.
He asked me to review the material.
I'm looking for grounds to get an injunction.
Well, then, I'm embarrassed.
- I didn't mean -- - Don't worry about it.
At that age, we all do things we regret, don't we? You'd think.
But she doesn't seem to regret it.
Yeah, right.
What teenager wants to admit they were pressured into doing something? I mean, trust me, I know.
Uh, this is humiliating but when I was 18, I entered a wet t-shirt contest.
And it ended up on the internet, and my parents saw it.
I was mortified, but I pretended like I couldn't care less.
- I don't believe it.
- No, it's true.
I swear.
I even came in second.
I believe you.
It's just the exact same thing happened to Deb.
At Bar Five, on Melrose.
Right.
It happened to me at Bar Six, on Sunset.
- There's a Bar Six? - Look, my point is every girl has her regrets.
They just don't let on.
Oh, I should get going.
Uh, good luck with your case.
I was shocked and angry.
They were rude, and then they kicked me out of their store like some sort of criminal.
Explain to the jury why you felt "shocked and angry".
Well, because I really wanted that dress.
You were angry over a dress? I don't buy it.
- What are you doing, Kim? - I know you professionally, Ms.
Bingum.
I've never seen you angry over something as trivial as a dress.
Why are you really angry? Because they made me feel like I don't count Like I was less important than someone like you.
One more question -- Did the magazine ad indicate that the dress was only available to skinny women? - Definitely not.
- Thank you.
Nothing further.
Ms.
Bingum, does a candy company need to indicate that its advertisements for chocolate aren't suitable for a diabetic? Are you comparing me to a diabetic or a dress to chocolate? I'm asking if you think all ads are geared to all people.
- Of course not, but -- - And do you think my client has a legal right to advertise its products in any magazine it chooses? - Well, yes, but -- - Thank you.
You know, you kind of caught me off guard on the stand.
You could have warned me.
I wanted your reaction to feel authentic, and it was.
The jury needs to empathize with you, right? Yeah.
Good point.
You know, for the first time, I feel like you actually understand me.
Please, I've had to listen to you whine for the past 24 hours.
- I had to make it work for us.
- Of course.
Okay, so the defense just made some very valid points.
What's our next move? Don't worry.
I have a little trick up my sleeve.
Oh, and there she is.
Stacy! Hey! - Stacy's your trick? - That's right.
Ladies, I'm ready for my close-up.
- What can I get you? - A moment of your time.
Look, Mr.
Parker, I'm not gonna say I signed that thing under duress, 'cause it's not true.
We just want to talk.
I had just moved to L.
A.
I was setting up my TV to watch the finale of a show called "Twin Peaks" but I never got to see the ending because your father called from the hospital.
I raced over with my box of Cubans and when I got there, your father was holding you.
Why are you here, Mr.
Parker? Jenny, uh this is a photo still from your video.
You see the clock in the background.
It reads 1:11 in the morning.
So what? It was April 23rd, your 18th birthday, in Florida.
But it was three hours earlier in California, where you were born.
So, technically, you weren't 18 yet.
You're technically a minor, so we might be able to stop the sale of the DVD.
If I file for an injunction, we'd like to have you on board.
I don't think so.
Jenny, your father is a good man.
He just wants to protect you.
He's too protective.
Like it or not, I'm 18, and I make my own decisions.
We know you're not ashamed of the DVD, and your participation was your choice.
- That's right.
- But think about your future.
You might not always feel the same way as you do now.
So I won't run for president, okay? I admit -- maybe it wasn't the smartest decision but it's my life, and I'll live with the consequences.
And if you tell us to drop the suit, we will, but you need to understand you have another choice here.
We have the legal grounds to fight this.
We think we can get an injunction, but it's your decision.
My name is Henri Malique.
I'm the chief fashion designer for PDQ incorporated.
So you design everything they sell? That is what the word "chief" means, yes.
Would the blonde in the third row please stand up? That's my cue.
Hi.
- Who designed this dress? - That is from my collection.
And may I say you look fantastic? Why doesn't PDQ sell anything larger than a size 10? It would be impossible to put one of my designs on a larger woman.
- Impossible.
- Yes I see.
Would Jane Bingum please stand up? Who designed Ms.
Bingum's outfit? It's my design, with some alterations.
Panels of fabric have been added to the sides.
That's right.
I had my tailor modify your design.
And Jane looks fantastic, doesn't she? Yeah, but she's not the intended silhouette.
I understand.
But you said it would be "impossible" for a larger woman to wear your design.
- Do you know what the word "impossible" means? - Objection -- badgering.
Withdrawn.
Nothing further.
Mr.
Malique, why don't you design for larger women? It's my preference.
- And my right.
- Your right? Yes, I have a contract with PDQ that gives me complete creative freedom.
So, creatively, I choose to design for a specific kind of woman.
Well, then how do you respond to women like Ms.
Bingum who can't fit into your line? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but I don't tell you how to do your job.
You shouldn't tell me how to do mine.
Nothing further.
So, that last bit didn't go so well.
If there's nothing further, we'll move on to the closing.
Kim, stop her.
If this goes to closing arguments, we've lost.
- We don't have any more witnesses.
- Then buy us some time.
Uh, your honor, may I have five minutes to conference with my client? - What's going on, counselor? - Five minutes.
That's all I need.
I'm watching the clock.
- All right, what do you want me to do, Jane? - I admit you were right.
We're not gonna win this based on the law or my feelings.
Good.
At least we agree on that.
But Parker said we have to think outside the box.
Right.
The designer claimed that he has a contract with the company allowing him to design whatever he wants, but what if we could show that the contract was counter to the company's best interests? - I don't think I follow.
- PDQ is owned by investors.
Management has a responsibility to maximize profits, right? You want me to argue that their business practices are suboptimal? Yeah, why not? We amend our complaint and push on.
The plaintiff would like to call a rebuttal witness -- Warren Gunther, the largest shareholder in PDQ.
Objection.
Mr.
Gunther has nothing relevant to add to this case.
He's on our witness list.
It's our right to question him.
He's a hands-off investor who has very little knowledge of my client's business.
- I'll be calling him as an expert witness.
- An expert on what? Um um - General business knowledge.
- General business knowledge.
- Which will be instructive to the jury.
- Which will be instructive to the jury.
I heard her, Ms.
Kaswell.
Your honor, if the defense didn't want us to call this witness they should have objected in the pretrial motion in limine.
It's S.
O.
P.
to have the names of all the major shareholders on the witness list.
We didn't think she would actually call any of them.
Well, you thought wrong.
We'll hear from Mr.
Gunther this afternoon.
- That was great.
- Parker's gonna kill you.
Why? Because if this doesn't go well, I'm telling him it was all your idea.
Given that Jenny was only and 22 hours old when you shot your footage we believe this contract is voided.
We'd like you to immediately withdraw the DVD from the marketplace.
You dragged us back to your office on a technicality? - This is getting tedious.
- She was 18.
That's what we'll say in court.
And I'm sure that might work out for you, but I think most judges will find your client so reprehensible, they'll be looking for any loophole to slap him down.
We found that loophole.
Jenny, you're 18 now.
How about you sign a new release relieving us from civil liability? My daughter is not signing anything.
Nobody can tell her what she can or can't do.
- He's right.
- Good for you, Jenny.
But let me be perfectly clear, Tyler.
If this goes to court my father will have my full support.
Hey, come on, Jenny.
Let's talk this through.
Let me buy you something, huh? Like as a thank-you.
How about a car? Now you're just pissing me off.
As I'm sure you're well aware, filming a minor is a felony.
We plan to ask the D.
A.
to pursue criminal charges.
You can bet on damages and prison time.
What do you want? An immediate injunction on all DVD sales and all profits to this point to be donated to charity.
B- be reasonable.
The costs associated with the DVD, not to mention my marketing budget -- - You'll bankrupt my production company.
- Really, I'll do that? Well, tonight, I'm gonna sleep like a baby.
Agree to our terms, or we call the D.
A.
as soon as you leave these offices.
We have a deal.
Mr.
Gunther, are you aware that the average woman in America is a size 14? No, I wasn't.
According to a recent "Los Angeles Times" article the average department store in America carries 900 different labels in the women's-wear department but only 20 of those labels are available in a size 14 or larger.
- Did you know that? - No, I didn't.
Are you aware that PDQ only sells a size 10 or smaller? Not until recently.
What size dress does your wife wear? Objection -- relevance.
Mr.
Gunther is an expert businessman.
I'm helping him contextualize the issue at hand.
I'll allow it.
I'm I'm not exactly sure.
Why don't you take a look around the room -- Find a woman with your wife's figure? You.
Your honor, you look like a size 14.
go in the record.
Are you aware that your own wife can't shop at PDQ? - I wasn't.
- It doesn't seem right, does it? - Objection.
- Withdrawn.
Your honor, the plaintiff is grandstanding.
She has not introduced a scintilla of evidence.
At this point, the defense requests for a directed verdict in favor of PDQ.
- Objection.
- What?! My argument may not have been on point, but -- But what, counselor? Even though I sympathize with your cause this is not a cause of action.
The directed verdict is hereby issued.
Case closed.
- Got a second? - Hey.
Of course.
I was just reviewing your settlement agreement.
Champagne.
To congratulate you on opening your own law firm.
You're about 10 years too late.
You brought me cigars when Jenny was born.
She's my proudest accomplishment.
I think this firm is yours.
And what you do here -- It's not all bad.
I appreciate your talk with Jenny.
She'll always be my little girl, but for now, I can't let her know that.
You know, the guys still get together every Thursday night for poker at Dewey's.
I'll see you there.
Hey, you are suffocating that pillow.
- I lost in court.
- I know.
We didn't even get a verdict from the jury.
I heard.
I'm a failure.
Cry me a river.
No, Teri.
Stacy said something about lawyers having super-powers.
And I know that that's crazy, but sometimes it feels true.
We change people's lives and I couldn't even win my own case.
You lost.
You lost before.
You'll lose again.
It's okay.
- What are you doing? - Lipless Lil.
Remember? Our client who wanted you to sue the pet salon for dying her poodle the wrong shade of pink.
Did we win? You wouldn't even take the case.
Yeah, 'cause I had more sense before I was shot.
Maybe, but now you got more pizzazz.
Thank you.
Jane, Warren Gunther is in Parker's office.
They want to see us now.
Good luck.
- Are you both trying to get fired? - It was my fault.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Gunther.
I was an overzealous advocate for myself.
And I hope you don't hold it against the firm.
Ms.
Bingum, you may have lost the battle, but you won the war.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't understand military analogies.
Ms.
Kaswell put me on the stand to make a point.
She didn't care what I had to say.
She just wanted me to listen.
- That's true.
- And here's what I heard.
I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot for not paying attention to an under-served market.
- We never said "idiot".
- So, starting immediately PDQ will start offering sizes that all women can wear.
It just makes sense from a business standpoint.
But what about Henri Malique? What if he refuses? Like she said in court, I'm a good businessman.
His contract grants him creative control over his own line.
So I simply told him that PDQ will bring in another designer to oversee a second line if he didn't feel up to the challenge.
What did he say? He stopped by my office and asked me to bring you that dress.
It's your size.
He's on board.
Well, I have to go home.
Henri also made a dress for my wife.
She's gonna be thrilled.
Thank you.
- I'll see you out.
- Thank you.
Thank you, my dear.
Bingum, why don't you stay put? Okay.
I'm ready for my lecture.
You came from a place of anger and frustration.
Normally, that translates into righteous indignation which plays well in front of a judge.
But this time, you went too far.
But you said you thought there was a case.
Remember -- You could smell it? That's because I trusted your judgment.
Really? I don't like you wasting time on frivolous lawsuits.
But I- I won the war.
So doesn't that count for something? It counts for everything.
And your zeal, whether you win or lose, is how you make partner.
Wait.
I'm confused.
Are you patting me on the back or slapping me on the wrist? If I did either, you'd probably sue me for harassment.
You did good, Bingum.
A few deep breaths before you charged ahead would've been helpful, but I'm impressed.
You have a strange way of getting to the point, by the way.
Now, you've wasted three days of billable hours so get back to work.
Good night.
What a day, huh? You can say that again.
Hey, what'd Parker want? Just for me to get back to work.
Hey, Kim? I know we don't see eye-to-eye on much but I do want to thank you.
You never liked this case, and yet you -- You gave it everything.
And I didn't always make it easy.
Well, you were just sticking up for yourself, right? - If you don't, who will? - Right.
Hey, now that PDQ carries my size maybe we can go shopping together.
Maybe.
She's late.
Are you judging her, because I will so not -- Easy there, blondie.
I'm just stating a fact.
She was supposed to be here She's here.
- Jane! Jane! - Hey! Hey! Oh, you look amazing! Thank you.
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- Oh, I didn't even notice.
Res ipsa loquitur.
Jane, will you tell her that using legal words does not make her seem smarter.
I used "fiduciary" today in yoga, and now everyone thinks I'm a genius.
Yeah, I'll stop leaving my case notes on the kitchen table.
Thanks.
I ordered you a pomegranate martini.
- Ooh.
Thank you.
- I love Pomtinis.
- They're the perfect AA drink.
- What? AA -- Alcoholic and antioxidant.
Ew! What is that stuff? Is she for real? It's calamari.
And that's not a legal term.
It means "squid".
And it's delicious.
You guys are the best.
I- I don't know what I'd do without you.
Oh, my wow.
Check out that hot cup of habeas corpus.
- Mm, figured he'd be your type.
- What's that supposed to mean? Domestic beer, designer jeans and he's tan, which means he probably doesn't have a job.
- Maybe he has a trust fund.
- Teri, what's your type? Hmm.
Mm! Mm! Biceps and glasses.
- Muscle geeks? - Oh, big time.
And he's drinking rosé, which means he's high culture with just a touch of trailer trash.
Mmm, mmm, good.
- How about you, Jane? - Oh, I'm not looking.
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah, right.
I'm not looking right now.
Tonight, I just want to enjoy this cocktail and feel amazing in this dress, and hang out with you guys.
- Is that okay? - Totally okay.
So, you gonna eat some of this calamari or what? Oh I don't do fried.
Open up, twiggy.
I'd do what she says.
- Oh, my God.
- I know, right? Hey.
To you guys and this hot dress and calamari.