EastSiders (2012) s01e09 Episode Script

1 Morning.
Hi.
It's the big day.
I'm making pancakes.
- Yeah? - Mmm-hmm.
With lingonberries? [MUMBLES IN SWISS-GERMAN.]
You did not just mix up Sweden and Switzerland.
Äuä.
Äu - what? Äuä! Are you sure you don't want any help? I can wait by the truck.
I'm good.
Well, don't be so stubborn.
I have muscles.
I know you have muscles.
I just I don't want to hurt anyone.
Well, I can meet you at your new place at least.
[KNOCKING.]
Hey.
You look like shit.
Alright, what happened? Hey, y'know Just getting ready for the big move.
Well You look like shit.
No offense.
Wow, yeah, sure do.
Okay Come on, let's go.
- No.
- Come on [SHOWER WATER RUNNING.]
[ELECTRIC RAZOR BUZZING.]
[HAIR DRYER WHOOSHING.]
Very good.
Happy? Nope.
You gotta put on shoes first.
If you don't put on shoes, the pants come right off, trust me.
Okay, feel better? - Not really.
- Good.
That was a test of your honesty.
Okay, come on, let's go make some coffee.
- So last night - Yeah.
You were pretty fucking awful to me.
- Sorry.
- Shut up.
I forgave you.
But you know, it did get me thinking.
These aren't the people we're supposed to be, Cal.
You ever feel that way? Yeah All the time, actually.
We gotta move to another country.
I don't know if that would change anything.
- Then what do we do? - Just start over, I guess Fucking constantly.
Ugh.
Start over with what? Just being people? I don't know.
- Trying to be.
- Mmm.
I didn't think he'd leave me, actually.
I just thought maybe he'd be afraid of me.
Why would you want that? I don't know.
So then maybe he'd know what it's like being with him.
You think Ian's afraid of me? Most definitely.
Yes.
It's gonna be okay.
Eventually.
You sure you don't want me to stay? Yeah, I've got pants on And shoes.
I can handle anything.
So what do I do now? You say goodbye With dignity.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thom, it is what it looks like.
Okay.
And it's not a big deal.
I know, I agree.
I'm just processing.
You're acting like I cheated on you.
I bought a print before we were dating.
My boyfriend's print.
Look, I'm not judging you.
There's nothing to judge.
I'm just trying to understand.
Look, I just wanted to feel closer to him, I Why? We went through the same thing.
Not exactly.
Well, I'm sorry, but it felt that way to me.
I never met your parents.
We never carried each other home drunk.
You didn't hold my hand at my grandmother's funeral.
We didn't get STD tests together.
You didn't lose your virginity to me.
You never told me that I'd be this great writer before I ever published anything.
We don't have a house and a life and a cat, Jeremy.
So I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I know that.
And it kills me.
I don't want it to kill you.
Okay, I get it.
So that's it then? I'm just nothing to you.
No, I just I don't have a lot of room left in me right now.
This is not what I wanted anyway.
What did you want? I wanted you, Thom.
And when you figure out who the fuck that is, I won't be waiting.
We gotta stop doing this.
Listen, Ian, you're a really nice guy.
Are you breaking up with me? Because, technically I don't think you can break up with me, because we're not actually dating.
I really like you.
That's it? Yup That's it.
I really like you.
And I'm sorry that I've been a little bit obsessed with myself lately.
Always.
I, um I guess when you have a lot of feelings, it's easy to forget that other people feel things too.
Everyone feels things.
I know.
I feel things.
And I want to know what those things are.
Well For one, I miss you sometimes, obviously.
And I'm still really angry, like, really, punch-things angry.
Is it weird that I think that's a little bit sexy? I still just look at your face and I just want to scream.
I know.
It's okay.
You know what? You can scream at me, You can scream at me.
As loud as you want.
[WEAK, FAKE SCREAM.]
[SCREAMS LOUDLY.]
I would've been there with you.
For you.
I know, I just I wasn't ready to have kids, you know? I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you, and I just wasn't ready to have kids.
Trust me, I agree, believe me.
But I should have told you.
You should've told me first.
I know we're not, like dating.
But if it's okay with you, I would like to start talking.
Maybe.
I would like to get to know you, Kathy.
Biblically.
You want to get some breakfast? I do, but Oh, I can't.
I have other plans.
What? Cal's moving.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm an idiot.
I forgot to label everything before I taped it shut.
Focoult.
That is obviously you.
How's Jeremy? What are you doing? Saying goodbye with dignity.
We split up.
Already? Sorry, that's not funny.
No, it kinda is.
You were right.
I think I need to be single for a while.
I think I need to learn how to do that.
Well, you won't have to change any of your sexual tendencies.
Sorry, below the belt.
Yeah, literally below the belt.
But you know what? I expected as much from you.
Yeah, well A lot of fun, aren't I? You're a joy to be around.
Apparently.
I want you to know that I am sorry.
Fuck context, fuck pride.
I'm just Sorry.
Me too.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
That's bullshit.
Fair.
I guess I just didn't think that I could.
Why? You've always been a lot stronger than me.
You dated me, for fuck's sake; that's something.
Yeah, I guess that is.
God, I can't believe that we're splitting up Christmas.
Everything must go.
Remember the first night we moved into this place? We just stared up at the ceiling.
I remember you said some cheesy shit like, "I've never been happier to not afford cable.
" Well, I meant it.
Still got it set up the next week, though.
What happened to us? I don't know.
It had already started.
You said it wouldn't happen again, and I said that I forgave you.
We were both already lying.
I did love you.
I do.
I love you too, asshole.
I'm scared, Cal.
Me too.
What's gonna happen to us? Guess we'll see.