Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s01e09 Episode Script

1
[WHISTLING]
BRRRRR!
[PANTING]
ED!
HI, EDDY. WHAT A SURPRISE.
COULD YOU PASS ME THE GLUE?
SURE, ED.
HERE'S YOUR GLUE, ED.
NICE TRY, ED.
LET'S GET DOUBLE-D.
OK, EDDY.
HA! HA! HA!
COME ON, ED. QUI
FOOLING AROUND.
[GROANING]
ALLEY OOP!
THE WINDOW IS
TOO SMALL, EDDY.
UNH!
[GRUNTING]
GEE, ED, YOU NEED TO WORK OUT.
[GRUNTING]
[ED SCREAMS]
I'M READY. CAN WE GO NOW?
[EDDY PANTING]
WHOO!
WHOA!
WHOO!
AAAH! OOOH!
WHAT YOU DOING, DOUBLE-D?
DID YOU WIPE YOUR FEET?
HMM PHONE.
UH, COULD YOU
PLEASE ANSWER THAT?
YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
WHAT AM I?
EVERYBODY'S ERRAND BOY?
[SNICKERS]
[TELEPHONE RINGS] HUH?
"PICK ME UP" HUH?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Eddy: HELLO?
YEAH. OH, REALLY? DOUBLE-D?
SURE, HANG ON.
Eddy: OH, DOUBLE-D
SOME GIRL ON THE PHONE
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
M-M-ME?
UH, HOW DO I LOOK, EDDY?
IT'S A PHONE CALL, ROMEO.
THANK YOU, EEEEEDDDDDDY!
WHOA!
AAAAAH!
[WHIMPERS]
WHOAAAAA!
YAAAAAA!
[CHEWING GUM LOUDLY]
AAAAAH!
WHOAAA!
[GRUNTING]
HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA!
YOU GUYS ARE SO EASY.
[PPPLLLTTT!]
EXCUSE ME.
HA! HA! HA!
[PPPLLLTTT!]
HA! KEEP TRYING, GUYS.
MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL GET LUCKY.
HA! HA! HA!
[BUZZES]
I AM TRULY THE KING
OF ALL THE PRANKSTERS.
I'll BET THAT BEFORE SUNDOWN I
CAN PRANK THIS ENTIRE CUL-DE-SAC.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
LIKE WE HAVE A CHOICE.
Rolf: HA! HA! HELLO.
HERE'S SOME GOOD EATS FOR YOU.
OUR FIRST PIGEON.
A PIGEON? NO, THAT IS ROLF.
Eddy: SHUT UP, ED!
Rolf: YIKES! HUH?
[FIGHTING AND SQUEALING]
AAAAH!
HEY, ROLF, WHAT'S UP?
ARE YOU OK, ROLF?
GUSS AUTEN BRAUSS POLYESTER
PERMAPRESS AUS FILTHY.
HUH?
ROLF'S GOT A CARD ON HIS HEAD.
[ROOSTER CROWS]
Eddy: CHECK IT OUT.
Edd: PRANK MASTER?
YES, I THINK SO.
A MYSTERIOUS JOKESTER WHO'S
BEEN PLAGUING OUR CUL-DE-SAC.
SOMEONE'S CROWDING ME.
HMM HRMPH!
THIS STINKS.
THIS PRANK MASTER IS AN AMATEUR.
I AM THE KING OF PRANKS.
[MACHINE RUNNING]
Ed: HA! HA!
OUCH! EECH! OOCH! OOH! AHH! OOH!
JOHNNY!
YOU'LL GET A RASH IN THAT.
HUH?
Eddy: PLANK? STAND BACK, BOYS.
[GASP] WHOA!
THE PRANK MASTER!
HE'S SUCH A HORRIBLE PRINTER.
HERE, YOU HOLD IT, DOUBLE-D.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT'S BEEN!
RELAX, GUYS, ANYBODY CAN
FOOL JOHNNY TWO-BY-FOUR.
AAAA!
JOHNNY!
IT SEEMS THE PRANK MASTER
HAS THE UPPER HAND, EDDY.
Eddy: LOOK, NO PRANK MASTER'S
GOING TO PRANK US, OK?
OH, IS THAT THE
TEA KETTLE BOILING?
[EDDY PANTING]
MOMMY!
AAAAH!
NOT COOL! NOT COOL!
AAAAH!
[WHIMPERING]
AAAAH!
WHOOA!
YOUCH!
AAAH!
[MACHINE GUN]
THE PRANK MASTER
HAS GOTTEN EVERYONE.
WE'RE NEXT!
[WHISPERS] Come on.
UH, WE DON'T WANT TO.
SHHH.
WHOA
KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.
I AM DIZZY.
LOOK!
WH-WH-WHAT?
Ed: JAWBREAKER.
FINDERS KEEPERS!
Edd and Eddy: ED, NO!
IT'S A TRAP.
I AGREE, IT COULD BE BAI
FOR AN INSIDIOUS PRANK.
OOOOH!
AAH! OH Eddy: SEE ANYTHING?
POKE IT AGAIN.
WHOA! UH I SAY EAT IT!
THAT'S EXACTLY WHA
HE WANTS US TO DO.
PERHAPS NOT.
SHH LOOK!
LOOK, JIMMY, A JAWBREAKER!
LOOKS YUMMY.
MMM MMM.
LET'S SEE IF THERE'S MORE.
MMM MMM.
YOU SEE? IT WAS
JUST A JAWBREAKER.
YOU SAID IT WAS A TRAP.
THAT'S CORRECT, EDDY.
UH, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.
WHAT IS IT?
HELLO!
HA! HA! HA!
RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!
HA! HA! HA!
LIFT OFF! LIFT OFF!
WHOA!
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
YOU TWERPS FELL FOR IT.
FELL FOR WHAT?
THE PRANK MASTER
NEVER PRANKED US.
WE PRANKED YOU, ED-BOYS.
THERE IS NO PRANK MASTER.
YEAH, WE PRETENDED
TO BE PRANKED.
GOTCHA. HEE! HEE!
[ALL LAUGHING]
Eddy: AAAAAH!
HA! HA! HA!
YOU'RE MESSING
WITH THE KING HERE.
LET'S GO.
HA! HA! HA!
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
[CRYING]
HUH?
THE KIDS ARE PLAYING
IN THE CUL-DE-SAC, EDDY.
THIS IS SO PERFECT.
Eddy: THEY THINK
THEY'RE SO SMART.
WHAT SAPS!
HEH! HEH! HEH!
WHOA, EDDY!
Eddy: GENTLEMEN, STINKBOMB.
OH! HA! HA!
MY BROTHER SHOWED
ME HOW TO MAKE IT
BEFORE HE WENT AWAY.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
THE ODOR SHOULD
BE QUITE IMPRESSIVE.
JUST ONE MORE
INGREDIENT HA! HA! HA!
AND IT'LL BE FINISHED.
SWEET!
YUCK.
Eddy: EASY NOW.
Edd: SMELLY, SMELLY, SMELLY.
DOUBLE-D, ACTIVATE THE SEQUENCE.
OPEN THE DOOR, ED.
HA! HA! HA!
SLOWLY.
EUREKA!
LET'S GET STINKY!
WHOA! BYE-BYE, SOCK.
HA! HA! HA!
[GULP]
[STINKBOMB SCRAPING GARAGE]
OH, DEAR, WE HAVEN'
GOT MUCH TIME.
[ALL STRUGGLING]
Eddy: PUSH THIS
STUPID STINKBOMB!
[GULP]
UH-OH.
[ALL GASP]
[EXPLOSION]
Edd: I CAN'T BREATHE!
[ALL SNIFFING]
[KIDS SCREAMING]
OH, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.
IT IS SAID THAT SCENT IS A GATEWAY
TO ONE'S TRUE INNER ESSENCE.
YES! I STINK; THEREFORE, I AM.
MMMM
[PANTING]
DIG A HOLE. DIG A HOLE.
HMMM.
DIG A HOLE. DIG A HOLE.
Eddy: HEY, MOLE BOY!
CAREFUL, ED, WE'RE
ABOUT TO DROP THE
DOOR!
PERFECT FIT.
SARAH WILL NEVER MISS IT.
READY, DOUBLE-D?
READY WHEN YOU ARE, EDDY.
AAAAH! GRRR.
WE'RE GOING TO
BE RICH, I TELL YOU.
HA HA HA.
[LAUGHING AND PLAYING]
SARAH, I THINK WE SPRUNG A LEAK.
GRRRR!
ED!
THAT SOUNDED LIKE SARAH.
NO, IT WAS A TRUCK BACKFIRING.
LOOK, IT'S WORKING.
SEE, EVERYONE WILL HAVE
TO CROSS OUR TOLL MOA
TO GET TO THE LANE.
BRINGS TEARS TO
YOUR EYES, DON'T IT?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
THE DOOR WORKS
ED, YOUR SPONGE BRAIN
WILL SOAK UP ALL THE WATER.
HA! HA! HA!
WELL, IF IT AIN'
THE UGLY DUCKLING.
I'M A CROCODILE, EDDY.
KEVIN APPROACHES.
[WHISTLING]
GREETING, WEARY TRAVELLER.
FOR A SMALL TOLL, YOU
CAN CROSS THE MOAT.
UH, YEAH, RIGHT.
I'M JUST HERE TO
Eddy: ONLY 50 CENTS,
AND WE'LL LOWER THE BRIDGE
TO THE LAND OF THE LANE.
I WAS GOING TO GIVE
YOU GUYS SOMETHING.
HRMPH! UGH!
[STRUGGLING]
[CAT MEOWS]
HIT THE ROAD.
I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
YOU PROBABLY HEARD THIS
ONE BEFORE, TOO: DORK!
I THINK KEVIN WAS REALLY GOING
TO GIVE US SOMETHING, EDDY.
YEAH, LIP.
AREN'T THESE
JAWBREAKERS GOOD, PLANK?
WHOA!
WHOA!
I'M A CROCO HEY, JOHNNY BOY.
WHERE DID YOU GE
THAT JAWBREAKER, HMM?
KEVIN JUST GAVE ME
AND PLANK ONE FOR FREE.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PLANK?
QUICK! WE GOTTA FIND KEVIN!
[PANTING]
[SARAH AND JIMMY LAUGHING]
WHERE DID YOU GE
THOSE JAWBREAKERS?
KEVIN GAVE THEM TO US.
HE'S GOT A WHOLE BOX.
DIDN'T YOU GET ONE?
MMMM THEY'RE SO GOOD.
A WHOLE BOX? A WHOLE BOX!
FREE JAWBREAKERS!
OUR MODERN POSTAL
SYSTEM WILL ENSURE
MY RELATIVES HAVE
FRESH FISH FOR DINNER.
AAAAH!
ED-BOYS, WHY ARE
YOU IN SUCH A HURRY?
ROLF, WHERE'S KEVIN?
HE HAS A WHOLE
BOX OF JAWBREAKERS.
AND I'M ED!
YA, KEVIN'S FATHER HAS A NEW JOB
AT THE JAWBREAKER FACTORY,
AND HIS GARAGE IS
FULL OF JAWBREAKERS,
AND HE'S GIVING
THEM OUT FOR FREE.
FREE JAWBREAKERS!
A GARAGE FULL!
ANYWAYS, I THOUGH
YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS.
HA! HA! HA!
KEVIN! WE'LL TAKE 3.
TOO LATE, ALL GONE LOSERS!
HEY, FREE BOX!
HELLO, WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
GUYS?
ROLF SAID THAT KEVIN'S
GARAGE IS FULL OF JAWBREAKERS.
COME ON, GUYS! THE
MOTHERLODE AWAITS!
Edd: HURRY, ED.
Ed: ANYONE GOT A BREATH MINT?
[ED LAUGHS]
Eddy: SHH! ED
Eds: COOL!
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.
Ed: I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY JAWBREAKERS.
Eddy: IT'S NOT FAIR.
I'VE GOT TO HAVE ONE.
[PANTING]
[STRUGGLING]
ONE LOUSY CANDY-COATED
WHAT'S WITH THIS DOOR?
IF ONLY I BROUGHT MY
ANTI-GRAVITY DE-SPECULIZER
TO RE-PIXEL THE HOT-AND-COLD
TUMBLER ON THAT LOCK.
EARTH TO ED?
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
I'M CERTAIN IF WE LEARNED
MORE ABOUT KEVIN,
THEN HE'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY
TO SHARE HIS JAWBREAKERS.
BE KEVIN'S FRIENDS?
WE'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE
OF ED GROWING A CHIN.
HMM I WISH I HAD 4 STOMACHS.
[BELL RINGS]
GOOD DAY, CLASS.
OUR SUBJECT FOR TODAY IS KEVIN.
KEVIN IS A YOUNG MAN
FILLED WITH CONTRADICTIONS,
AND A GARAGE FULL
OF JAWBREAKERS.
IF WE LOOK AT THIS GRAPH,
YOU'LL SEE THE
EVOLUTION OF THE KEVIN
IS NOT CONSISTEN
TO NORMAL LINEAGE.
CONSIDER KEVIN'S
JAWBREAKERS HUH?
HA! HA! HA!
[SNICKERING]
Edd: ED!
I SEEM TO BE BORING YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU
TELL US ABOUT KEVIN?
YEAH, ED! TELL US.
JUST AS I THOUGHT.
MAY I CONTINUE?
OOH! I HAVE A
QUESTION, DOUBLE-D.
YES, ED?
IS IT NAP TIME?
I'M AFRAID WE HAVE
MUCH TO DISCUSS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO WAI
UNTIL AFTER CLASS.
HUH? FOR WHAT?
FORGET THIS! WE'RE WASTING TIME.
LET'S JUST GO TAKE
THE JAWBREAKERS.
I ANTICIPATED YOUR PLANS, EDDY.
HOWEVER, STEALING
HAS DIRE CONSEQUENCES.
USING THE VERSATILE
MEDIUM OF PEAT MOSS,
I HAVE CONSTRUCTED A
LIFE-SIZE REPLICA OF KEVIN.
I BELIEVE IT'S QUITE ACCURATE.
NOT BAD, HUH, BURRHEAD?
GRRRRR.
OH, NO, MY BRAIN CAME OUT.
THAT'S TOO BIG TO BE YOUR BRAIN.
CAN I RESUME THE LESSON?
NOW, WHAT'S THE FIRST THING
YOU NOTICE ABOUT KEVIN HERE?
HIS CHIN IS ALMOS
AS BIG AS YOURS?
UM NO, I WAS TRYING
TO INDICATE THE
THOSE THREE STUPID
HAIRS ON HIS HEAD?
NO, EDDY, HIS
CLOTHES! HIS CLOTHES!
CLOTHES ARE A SOCIAL UNIFORM
SHOWING KEVIN
WE'RE TEAM PLAYERS.
THIS HANDLEBAR'S KILLING ME.
THERE HE IS!
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE]
KEVIN, HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.
[GRUNTS]
GUESS HE DIDN'T SEE US.
WAIT UP, KEV!
Eddy: KEV, WAIT UP!
Kevin: BUDDY!
AAAH!
[ED LAUGHS]
OW!
[AIR HORN BLOWS]
KEVIN! KEVIN! HE'S OUR MAN!
WE CAN'T DO IT
BUT KEVIN SURE CAN!
HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA!
RAH! KEVIN!
HMMM
[STRUGGLING]
Eds: HI, KEVIN!
HEY, WHAT'S UP, PAL?
I'M CLEANING THE CHIMNEY.
WHY DON'T YOU LET US
HANDLE THAT, OLD BUDDY.
YEAH, WHY NOT?
GREAT, LIKE I ALWAYS SAY,
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
FRIEND.
FRIENDS.
HMM
HA! HA! HA!
THIS WILL CEMENT OUR
FRIENDSHIP WITH KEVIN,
AND HE'LL BE JUST POURING
JAWBREAKERS AT US.
WATCH YOUR STEP, EDDIE.
READY, ED?
TEN SQUARED.
HEY, GUYS, MY NOSE TICKLES.
HA, HA, HA.
Ed: AH AH [AHCHOO!]
NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!
QUICK, LET'S PULL HIM OUT.
AH AH [AHCHOO!]
LOOK AT ME, I'M FILTHY.
KEVIN, GOT OUR JAWBREAKERS?
[SEETHING]
HEY, KEVIN, JUS
A SLIGHT PROBLEM.
WE'LL HAVE I
CLEANED UP IN A JIFFY.
I'll CLEAN YOU!
DORKS!
AAAH!
[ALL PANTING]
HEY!
Kevin: PAL!
HEY, SLOW DOWN, BUDDY.
OLD FRIEND!
AMIGOS!
THAT WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.
PERHAPS IF WE
APOLOGIZE FORGET IT!
IT'S TIME WE PU
MATTERS INTO MY HANDS.
WHOA. HMM.
CAN I KEEP THIS WIG?
DIG A HOLE, DIG A
HOLE, DIG A HOLE.
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS,
WE ARE DIRECTLY BENEATH
THE BOXES OF MOUTH-WATERING
CANDIED SPHERES.
YOU HEARD HIM, ED. GO, BABY, GO!
DIG A HOLE, DIG A
HOLE, DIG A HOLE.
HA HA!
[BELL RINGS]
MMM HMM HMMM?
KEVIN'S GOT A
PRETTY FANCY GARAGE.
MUST BE A BUILT-IN CAR WASH.
WHAT ARE YOU DORKS DOING HERE?
HEY, KEV, LET ME
HELP YOU WITH THAT.
GRRR.
UM, EDDY GRRR
COULD YOU PLEASE PASS THE SOAP?
GRRR
I GUESS A JAWBREAKER'S
OUT OF THE QUESTION?
HUH?
DORKS.
WHOA!
YIKES!
HA! HA! HA!