Everything Sucks! (2018) s01e09 Episode Script

1 [LUKE.]
I'm never going back to Cali, like ever.
I'm just glad we got what we needed for the movie.
I don't understand it.
How can someone seem to like you one second and then tell you to beat off into a sock the next? What, is that a riddle? [SCOFFS.]
Life's cruelest riddle.
Hey You okay, buddy? I-I don't know.
You? I-I should probably get home.
Hang in there, pal.
See ya.
I'm home! [SHERRY LAUGHS.]
[SHERRY LAUGHS.]
[SHERRY LAUGHS.]
Real love I'm searchin' for a real love Someone to set my heart free Real love I'm searchin' for a real love [GASPS.]
- [STOPS MUSIC.]
- I was getting to the good part.
Real love I'm searchin' for a What the hell? - Son, give us a minute.
- I got this, Sherry.
Before you say anything, I want you to know that your mom and I Get out of my house.
Luke, go out into the hall and give us a second.
- No, I-it's okay.
Let's have a chat.
- Ken.
- It's a good opportunity - I said, get the hell out of my house! - Whoa! - Okay.
Oh.
Message received.
Now, just listen to me.
I-I know this is awkward and just a little embarrassing, but you should know that I care about your mom very much.
I don't care! - Get out of my house! - Luke.
Hey! You don't speak to an adult that way.
When an adult is speaking, you listen until they're done.
Got that, son? - Don't call me son, you mother - Hey, stop it! Please leave, Ken.
Sherry, w-we need to talk about this.
The three of us, Kate too.
Luke and I will talk about this.
Please.
Leave.
[EXHALES.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I'm sorry you walked in on that.
You're home earlier than I was expecting.
And that makes it okay? The way you spoke to Ken was beyond inappropriate.
Inappropriate? Mom, you're in bed with the principal.
My ex-girlfriend's dad.
Does that not seem inappropriate to you? Calm down.
Let's talk about this.
Let's be a team.
We're not a team.
You lied to me.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay? I had my reasons.
Screw that.
You're a liar.
Luke, what has gotten into you? What else have you lied to me about? When you're gone, are you on an airplane? Did dad bail, or did you drive him out? You're being a little asshole.
Little man, I am sorry, I didn't mean that.
Luke.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[LAUGHTER ON TV.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey, home early, huh? Yeah.
Where were you? I just, uh How'd it go? Good.
Uh, that's great, sweetie.
Is everything okay? [PHONE RINGING.]
I'll get that.
[KEN.]
Hello? Uh, just one second.
Kate, I'm gonna take this in my bedroom.
- Okay? Uh, will you hang up for me? - Sure.
[KEN SIGHS.]
Hey.
Hi.
- Ken.
- Can I talk first? Yeah.
If you want.
I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds.
I-I didn't mean to undermine you.
I felt like he deserved an explanation.
I know how to parent my son.
I know I know you do.
That's why I'm sorry.
But it doesn't have to all be on you or me.
We We can, uh, help be there for each other.
Help lighten each other's load.
Ken, I think we I don't think we should see each other anymore.
Um Okay.
Would you mind just, uh, explaining to me why? [EXHALES.]
It's it's just too much.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's too much, and uh Is this really what you want? It doesn't matter what I want.
It's what's right, for Luke.
[SHERRY.]
My son comes first.
[KEN.]
Of course.
[SIGHS.]
I just I want you to know that for the first time in ten years, I feel happy.
Actually happy with you.
And I'm ready to fight for my happiness.
I mean, maybe it won't be easy at first, but, in my experience, nothing worthwhile ever is.
What we have is good.
The kids can be part of that.
We deserve to be happy, Sherry.
All of us.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
I need to hang up.
No.
Please don't hang up.
I gotta go.
Goodbye, Ken.
[DIAL TONE.]
Don't forget, Beavers! Tickets for Boring High School's first movie are now available! The premiere will be Saturday in the auditorium amidst renovations.
So, bring a hard hat.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SCOTT.]
You can expect this movie to be no less than garbage, considering I was not cast in it.
[JESSICA.]
What a shame.
From those who were cast in it, we can assure you it's gonna be da'bomb diggity.
- Garbagio.
- Oh my God.
To whet your appetites, here's a look behind the scenes.
Roll tape.
[CHUCKLES.]
["SEASON OF SUFFERING" BY JAILHOUSE PLAYING.]
It's a fact In the headlines Drive-by shooting In a pale-lit sky Season of suffering Season of suffering [BEEPS.]
That was interesting.
Those are your morning announcements.
Have a Boring day.
[STARGROVE.]
And we're clear.
What the hell was that, Stargrove? You didn't like it? Hey, listen up! From now on, no one touches the footage.
This is my movie now, okay? You guys helped, got it? [BELL RINGING.]
- [MCQUAID.]
Looks like Candyman's back.
- [TYLER.]
No kidding.
[EXHALES.]
Luke.
Kate, not now, I got a lot of work and no time to do it.
If I don't get this movie right, the whole school will laugh at me.
It wouldn't be the first time.
- Did you know our parents were dating? - Were dating.
Glad that's over, it's disgusting.
[SIGHS.]
Can you please leave me alone? I can't believe you dated that a-hole.
Luke, more like, puke.
Seriously.
He's a capital J-E-R-K.
Jesus, Leslie, I get it already.
Hey.
Hey.
Who are you and what have you done with Emaline? Can we talk? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
I'm sorry I ignored you on the bus ride home.
That was really shitty.
It's okay.
I figured you were still upset about Oliver.
[EMALINE CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, right.
Screw him.
Damn straight.
That night at the hotel the things you said, that you thought I was perfect Did you mean it? Yeah.
I'm confused, 'cause, you said that, and then we almost - [DOOR OPENS.]
- [MALE.]
Yeah, for the next two weeks.
[MALE 2.]
Cool.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I saw you and Luke holding hands.
I guess, I was wondering if you guys are a thing or If you are, it's totally cool.
No, we're not.
We're just friends.
Or, we were, I I don't really know right now.
[SIGHS.]
Do you like me? What do you mean? [CHUCKLES.]
You know what I mean.
I like you.
Is that okay? Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BELL RINGING.]
Um Which way are you going? Um - That way.
- I'm the other way.
- Uh, so - Want to come to my place after school? Sure.
Meet by your locker? Cool.
See you later, sweetie.
McQuaid! What up, home-slice? Hello.
Ladies, this guy is a mad passionate kisser, speaking from experience! Mwah! A Agreed.
[TYLER.]
Sorry, what's the line? I'll get it right this time.
Uh, Mr.
Blorg, I found this human.
Commander Blorg.
This human was found by an abandoned ship.
Sorry.
Okay, okay.
Com-Commander Blorg.
Line, what? Oh, Tyler, I need your help.
- I'm doing homework.
- Okay, it can wait.
Actually, it takes me twice as long as you to do it.
So, it can't.
Okay, I'll do it for you.
Just listen to me, please.
What I'm about to tell you should be considered classified, capisce? What is it? Say capisce back, then I'll tell you.
- Capisce.
- Okay.
I cannot believe these words I'm about to say, but I believe them to be accurate.
[EXHALES.]
I think Emaline Adaria likes me.
[CHUCKLES.]
- No, she doesn't.
- Yeah, but what if she does? Shh! Look, even if I'm wrong, I would much rather feel a staggering sense of shame and regret for failing than not trying at all.
Tyler, please.
What do you need help with? I need to know how to dress cool.
Ex-squeeze me, of baking powder? Okay, you have style kind of.
I do not.
That, and I literally have no one else to ask.
Okay.
Oh, great.
Great, thank you.
Okay, we'll go shopping before the premiere.
Cool.
Hey, what are you doing tonight? I taped Mystery Sci Sorry, no time for kid stuff.
I have to plan what I'm gonna say! Sorry.
That was cruddy.
I'm sorry.
How come I'm losing all my friends to girls? - Is it me? - No, definitely not.
You shouldn't blame yourself.
Truth be told, you never stood a chance.
The female species is extremely powerful and highly mysterious.
Sometimes, we quietly saddle up, right next to you, and before you even know it, you're ours.
Like a spider.
Yeah.
My friends have been eaten by spiders.
This sucks the big one.
Yeah, I know how you feel.
I pretty much don't have any friends.
So [CHUCKLES.]
See ya, Leslie.
[BELL RINGING.]
Dad? Hm? Oh.
What are you doing? I-I was just getting a drink of water.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Things didn't work out with that that lady I was seeing.
But, you know, it's no big deal.
Wanna talk about it? No, you know, uh, maybe just treat me like the principal today.
Hey.
I just saw your dad.
You ready? I can't hang out today.
Why not? There's something I have to do, it's not you.
- I promise, I, I really - Kate, it's okay, I get it.
Rain check? Yeah.
Thanks.
[TYLER.]
Commander Blorg Line.
Com-Commander B-Blorg! Line.
The room is off-limits! [TYLER.]
Commander Blorg, Cedric was bound What do you want? Come.
I have something to show you.
Absolutely not, I don't have one good take of Tyler saying his line right.
The aliens look like Sesame Street, and this asteroid belt thing, it doesn't make any sense.
The room is off-limits, Kate.
- I What the hell! - [TAPE STOPS.]
Luke I said, come with me.
[LUKE.]
We're stopping here? Kate, this is what you pulled me away for? Unbelievable.
So the best memory I have of my mom was this one day she took me to the county fair.
She checked me out of school that morning, and told them we had a family commitment, and we just went.
Just the two of us.
I remember feeding the goats in the petting zoo and the way my mom laughed when they licked at her palms.
At one point, I got lost in the fun house and I started crying, so she bought me balloons.
And then, we were at the highest point of the Ferris wheel.
And she told me to let them go.
So I did.
She said to me, "Kate, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they aren't still there.
" She just held me.
That night we got home and she cooked us spaghetti.
But, it was surprising, because she hadn't cooked in months.
And then she asked us if we wanted ice cream.
She got the keys and left to go get some.
And she drove out here to this bridge.
And she stopped her car in the middle of the road.
And she climbed over the railing and she let go.
In the obituary, my dad just said her death was related to illness.
So, you see I don't have the luxury [FIGHTING TEARS.]
of getting mad at my mom over petty bullshit.
I just have a dad.
[SNIFFLES.]
And I don't know what you did to screw up the happiness he found with your mom.
I'm so mad at you, Luke.
You're not the only one having a hard time.