Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e09 Episode Script

1
(upbeat music)
(waves sloshing)
(splashing)
- Smile!
(camera clicking)
I can print a copy for you if you want.
(scoffing)
- Don't go to any trouble, Meredith.
- Brett'll help me.
- I can't take this anymore.
- What's your problem?
- It's Meredith.
Mum thinks I should spend
more quality time with her,
so she told me to spend
the whole day with her.
- Oh, that's not that bad.
(camera clicking)
- Hey, Brett!
- Meredith, leave him alone.
- Come and look at this!
- Why couldn't Mom just
send me to the desert
without food or water instead?
- Hey Brett, guess what?
- Meredith, you can't
just stick your camera
in people's faces like that.
- I wasn't.
I was looking at the newspaper.
There's a competition to
design a Valentine's Day card.
- Great, well you can do
that for the rest of the day.
- We can both do it.
- Meredith, what would I
know about Valentine's Day?
- I'll teach you.
We can win $100, come on!
- Yeah, come on, Brett.
A chance to show your sensitive,
more romantic side, huh?
- Listen, you're pretty
good at the type of stuff.
- Oh, no you don't.
No, you're not dumping your
responsibilities on me.
- Aw, but Meredith loves
spending time with you.
- Oh, you mean while you sneak across
to Ireland for a few hours and chill out?
I don't think so.
(printer)
(scissors cutting paper)
- There, the perfect Valentine's Day shot.
- Oh
Thanks Meredith.
Here Brett.
- I've done one for him too.
- Wow, that's great Meredith.
- Let's make a Valentines
Day card for the contest.
- Hey I've got a better idea.
Why doesn't Hannah help you?
Han-
Hannah?
(relaxing music)
(upbeat music)
(whistles blowing)
- I knew there was something
going on between you two.
- Between which two?
- Where did you get that?
- Honestly Hannah, Brett Miller?
Even you should be able
to do better than him.
- There's nothing between me and Brett.
- It's all right Hannah,
your secret's safe with me.
- There is no secret, there's nothing!
- So you won't mind
the girls knowing then?
Bernie, Maeve, over here for a minute!
I thought you said it was nothing.
- Okay, okay.
It's a secret.
- Aha!
- And I really need
you to help me keep it.
- Oh of course I will.
But you will help me
out when I need a little
hand now and then, won't you?
- What?
- Well it's a very fair trade Hannah.
- What do you want me to do?
(camera clicking)
- Brett, you said you'd help me.
- No Meredith, you said I'd help you.
- Oh all right then, you
go do whatever you want.
- Thank you.
- Will you tell Jackie? Or will I?
(sighs)
- All right, what do you want me to do?
- I need some ideas.
- Well first of all, you need
to take some good photos.
- What's wrong with the
ones I've already taken?
- They're fine but
they don't exactly sum up
Valentine's Day do they?
- Then what?
- Then you pick the best one.
And you put it in the center of the card
and surround it with glitter and stuff.
- Yeah yeah yeah, but how
do I get the right photo?
- Well, well I suppose
- Yeah?
- All right, I'll take them.
(girls chattering)
- Hi Tara.
- Oh, it's you.
- So, how's things?
- Wonderful, now that I have
such a helpful assistant.
(laughs)
- Sure, what do you want me to do?
- Not you!
- Hannah doesn't play camogie.
- She does now.
- She'll get murdered!
- Actually, I think she's improving.
(groans)
- By the way, I know
about your little secret.
You and Hannah?
- What?
- It's all right girls, Hannah will bring
all the equipment back!
Won't you Hannah?
(rattling of equipment)
- How did you find out?
- Don't worry! I'm not gonna tell anyone.
(panting)
- I thought she was
talking about the portal.
- Please, photo's bad enough.
- Well it's not like we're doing anything.
- Didn't you see the background?
- No.
- There's a life savers boat.
- Ah.
- Yeah. Tara hasn't noticed it yet.
But, you know, if she looks closely,
how are we going to explain that?
- Well they've got life saving boats
in Ireland, don't they?
- Not with Australia on the side.
We have to get that photo back.
- And how are we going to do that?
- We're just gonna have to play along.
- Play along?
- Make her think that we're an item.
- What?
- If she thinks we're not bothered about
being found out, she won't
threaten to expose us.
- It sounds pretty desperate.
- We are desperate.
(electric guitar music)
- Oh Hannah!
Run and fetch me a can of Cola will you?
- I don't really feel like it right now.
- Hannah I asked you nicely.
- And I told you
nicely.
No.
- Let me get this straight, Hannah.
You're telling me you don't care who finds
out about you going out with
the caretakers assistant?
- Hey hang on a minute, its an honest job.
- Why should I?
- I don't buy it.
You two are up to something.
And I'm gonna find out what it is.
- Good one miss know it all.
She didn't swallow it one bit.
What's your next bright idea?
- Don't worry
I'm not finished yet.
Darling.
(sheep baying)
- Guys, check this out.
- Leave some for me.
You pig.
- I bought it.
- Keep smiling, or I'll
tip it all over you.
- How much longer do we
have to keep doing this?
- Don't cave in on me now, Brett.
- She's not going to
buy it, you know that.
- Since when have you been an expert on
You know, I'm so glad Tara found that
photo of the two of us and
put two and two together.
I guess its just impossible
to out fox Tara Keegan.
- Yeah, she's so intelligent.
How does she do it?
- Some people are just
born smarter than others.
- Oh, hi Tara.
- Hey Tara, we were
just talking about you.
- We thought maybe you and
Martin and Brett and me
well, maybe we could hang out some time.
(scoffs)
- Me and Martin? With you two?
- It would be so cool.
- You really are on
another planet, aren't you?
- I guess we're just lucky.
Aren't we?
Oh and that photo that
you have of Brett and me?
You can keep it if you
want. We have plenty others.
(scoffs)
- Okay, we've had our fun.
If you two want to be an
item, that's your business.
But leave me and Martin out of it.
Completely!
- I don't believe it.
One of your crazy ideas actually worked!
- My ideas always work.
It's your ideas that are crazy.
Let's just burn this thing
before somebody else-
- What's this, Hannah?
Where was this taken?
- On the beach.
- That much I can see.
My office, now.
Just how do you account for this?
- You're not going to believe it, miss.
- Try me.
- There's this, um,
weird shape in the rock.
See it opens up to some
sort of a, a portal?
And you step through it and zap!
- Please be serious, Brett.
Do you realize what a
serious breach of school
regulations this is?
Pupils are not allowed off the
premises without permission.
I'm afraid, Hannah, I'm going
to have to consider suspension.
- What?
- And Brett?
As I cannot possibly
condone a relationship
between a member of my staff and a pupil
I must also therefor
consider your dismissal.
- You mean fire me?
- It was all my fault.
Miss. Murphey, please, don't punish Brett
he knew nothing about it.
- According to this, he
knew quite a lot about it.
- I know it doesn't look like it but we
were actually having an argument.
- Its true we were.
- And then this photographer comes over
and takes our photo thinking we're
a Valentine's Day couple but
we definitely aren't.
Before we knew it the
photo had made its way
to school and everybody
was jumping to conclusions.
It's so embarrassing.
- Yeah, embarrassing.
- And now you've seen it
which is just the last straw.
- The last straw.
- I'm going to have to
consider this overnight.
You may go.
Just a minute .
Who took this?
- Took it?
- Who was the photographer?
- Um, some nobody, bit of an amateur.
- Well if you remember
their name let me know.
I've been trying for
years to get Galway Bay to
look as colorful as this.
I'd love to know their technique.
- That was quick thinking in there.
Nice.
- It was basically just telling the truth.
At least you're off the hook now.
What if somebody tells
Miss. Murphey they saw
us around the school together?
- I knew that was a bad idea.
- Hey!
- Okay, I'm sorry but
Miss. Murphey's smart.
She'll spot the surf
lifesaving boat we've got
to get that photo back.
- Grow up. As soon as
she notices it's gone
she'll know that we took it.
I'll be expelled and you'll be fired.
- Well it might happen anyway.
What's she going to say tomorrow?
- You're right.
I guess our portalling days are over then.
- All because of one lousy photo.
Listen, I've got to get back.
I've got to take some shots for Meredith.
I'll see you tomorrow.
(camera clicking)
- Meredith, this is fantastic!
Looks great!
- Brett, there are no
photos on the camera.
- What are you talking
about, of course there are.
Go one, give me a look.
Oh no.
Don't tell me I've
accidentally erased them.
- What are we going to do now?
- Well, we'll just have to use
the photos you took earlier.
- But you said they were no good.
- Maybe I was a bit hasty.
Come on, give us a look.
No.
Not really.
Tragic.
Worse.
- What are we going to do now?
- Thinking.
(mouse clicking)
Whoa.
- It's only a joke.
- Meredith, you've done it!
- Done what?
- That picture you took of me and Hannah.
Do you still have it on the computer?
- How did you get it?
- Fooled you, huh?
I painted out the surf boat,
and I printed a new copy.
Now all we have to do is swap them.
And Miss. Murphey will be none the wiser.
- This might actually work.
- Why are you so surprised?
- Well-
- You don't think I have
any good ideas, do you?
- Did I say that?
- Mhm, about 40 or 50 times.
- Then I take it back.
This is a brilliant idea.
- Good. 'Cause you're
going to help me swap them.
- Oh.
- Miss Murphey's office, 4 am.
- 4 am!
- Don't be late!
- But where are you going now?
- To get rid of the evidence back home.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Just tidying some things up.
All right, go back to sleep.
- You're late.
- I've had a lot to do.
- What? Have you got it?
- Safe and sound.
- Great.
- Okay, let's go.
- Two knocks for someone's coming,
three knocks for all clear. Okay?
- Got it.
(globe crashes to floor)
(footsteps)
(two knocks)
- Miss. Murphey!
- Hannah!
You nearly gave me a heart attack!
- Sorry Miss. Murphey.
- Did you hear that racket?
- Yes, it was me.
I wasn't watching where I was going.
- What are you doing up at this hour?
- Well I couldn't sleep.
Worried about our meeting.
- Oh Hannah, why do you
put me in this position?
- Sorry Miss. Murphey.
- Go on, go back to bed we'll
talk about it in the morning.
- Yes Miss.
(door locks)
- We have officially broken up.
- Our relationship's going up in flames.
- Do you reckon Miss.
Murphey will let us off?
- Well, we'll find out soon enough.
- The key.
- Hannah, you know I
cannot turn a blind eye
when pupils decide to go wandering off
to the beach whenever they like.
- But it was free time, Miss.
- We all make mistakes Miss.
- It seems there is a rumor going around
the school that would suggest a different
story to the one that you told me,
behind this photograph.
- Well, you know what
the girls are like, Miss.
Gossip mad.
- Indeed Hannah.
But often where there's
smoke, there's fire.
- There is nothing serious
between Brett and me.
And that's the honest truth.
- The truth is honest, Hannah.
- Pardon?
- Well you said "the honest
truth", and if something
is true it must therefor be honest.
So there's no need to
say "the honest truth"
just "the truth" will do.
- Right.
- So, let me ask you both once and for all
is there or has there
ever been any romantic
liaison between you two.
- Absolutely not.
- No way.
- And is that the honest-
Is that the truth?
- Definitively.
- Totally.
- In that case,
as no serious regulations were broken
you may go.
- Thanks, Miss.
- Um, a word of advice, by the way.
Bending the truth means that
it is no longer the truth.
Don't forget that.
- We did it!
- By the skin of our teeth.
- Do you reckon she knows
more than she's letting on?
- Probably.
So now we have to be careful.
Perfect school citizens.
- I'm always perfect.
- Bah.
(groaning)
(knock at the door)
- Brett?
Come on, up you get.
- Huh?
- Open the door, please.
- What?
- We need to have a little talk.
- Look, whatever I did I didn't do it.
- I know I don't normally say this
but this time you deserve it.
Well done!
- Top job matey.
- Thanks guys but what for?
- Helping Meredith with the competition?
- Well I would have helped
dad, but nobody asked me.
- I didn't do that much, did I?
- Modesty Brett, that's not like you.
- The photo of you and
Hannah on the computer
I put it into the Valentines Day card
and it won first prize.
- But I deleted
I mean, are we talking
about the same photo?
- After you fixed it.
- Fixed it?
- You did a fantastic job, all of you.
Can't wait to see it in the newspaper.
- Meredith, give me a look at this.
(laughs)
- What do you think?
- I think it's great.
In fact I think it's the best photo of me
and Hannah I've ever seen.
And that's the honest truth, Meredith.