Fuller House (2016) s01e09 Episode Script

Breakfast, everybody! Hey, girls! Hi! How'd you sleep in Nicky and Alex's old room? Great, until Kimmy got in bed with me.
I should have told you I sleepwalk and sleep-cuddle.
You also sleep-snore and sleep-drool.
It's true.
This is so great.
We saw Dad before the Wake Up, San Francisco reunion, and now we see you after.
Well, Jesse's been so busy with his new job in LA.
And I really miss hanging out with you guys.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
Uh Becky, we're over here.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
Guys! Guys! You've gotta see what's in the living room! It's incredible, it's amazing, it's I'm out of adjectives.
Come on, you guys.
It's unbelievable! Oh, I had one more.
- Oh - My Lanta! The whole house smells like potpourri.
- Who are these for? - I don't know.
I just let the delivery guy in and signed my mom's name.
Wha You signed my name? Yeah, I'm getting really good at it.
Oh, thanks for getting me out of gym class.
Gotta go.
Where's the card? I don't see one.
Ooh, someone has a secret admirer.
It's no secret.
They must be from Fernando.
Oh, he's trying so hard to put our marriage back together.
Last week he even got a tattoo of me on his left butt cheek.
These roses are obviously for me.
I just have to figure out who they're from.
It could be Darren from the coffee shop, Val from Club Euphoria, or this baseball player I'm seeing.
Oh, please.
Do any of them have your face on their butt? That's none of your business.
What about D.
J.
and the hot doggie doc? Matt? Oh, we only kissed once.
I mean, that would be way too much, way too soon.
Yeah.
It's like a thousand roses in here.
I mean, you'd have to be one heck of a kisser.
Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but toot-toot.
What about Steve? He's been crazy about you since high school.
Oh, that's true.
And he never really has gotten over me.
No, it's not Steve.
He would've sent a roomful of hams.
This is like a cheesy romance novel come to life.
Who's the mystery man? Is it Kimmy's Latin lover? One of Stephanie's three hot-blooded boy-toys? Is it Matt, the kissing veterinarian, or Steve, the lovesick podiatrist? Oh, it's ringing.
I'm calling Steve.
What? Oh, no, no, Becky, I Hi.
Hi, Steve.
It's D.
J.
on Becky's phone.
Oh, my God, is Becky having another corn crisis? Listen, just drive her over here, OK? I will squeeze her in before my ten o'clock hammer toe.
No, no, no, she's fine.
Just a quick question.
Did you send me an insane amount of roses? No.
Does that mean somebody else sent you an insane amount of roses? No.
If they're not from you, then they're probably for Stephanie or Kimmy.
Oh, OK.
Well, look, just tell everybody I said hi and, to avoid foot fungus, always wear flip-flops in the shower.
Bye, Steve.
It's not Steve.
Oh, he said to remind you to Always wear flip-flops in the shower.
I'm not leaving till I get to the bottom of this.
Jesse and I don't have this kind of excitement anymore.
After 28 years of marriage, the only mystery is who's gonna unload the dishwasher.
And it's not a mystery because it's always me.
Yes, it is.
It's always me.
Oh, yes, it is.
OK, Aunt Becky, time for a baby break.
- No, he doesn't want to - Yeah, he does.
Little break, little, little break, Aunt Becky.
- Hey, Lola.
- Hey, dude.
I'll be right there.
Look, I know you like Lola, but the worst thing just happened.
Ooh, more drama.
- What? - She called you "dude," dude.
So? "Dude" means you've entered the dreaded friend zone.
It's true.
"Bud," "pal," "dude" even "amigo.
" She amigo-ed me yesterday! What do I do? Once you're in the friend zone, you can never get out.
It's like Alcatraz.
Or IKEA.
You can get out.
Just show her you wanna be more than friends.
Girls love it when guys do something romantic.
- Ah, like all those roses in there? - Exactly.
- What does Lola like? - Ooh! She wants her own horse.
Oh, boy! - What else does she like? - M&Ms.
Now we're talking.
I'll get her 1,000 M&Ms.
But only the red ones.
But they all taste the same.
Hey, Friend Zone.
You wanna be right, or you wanna be happy? You've got your new license.
Now you're a legal beagle.
Two coffees, and one water, no ice.
I thank you.
And Fred thanks you.
We really need to talk about this elephant in the room.
Don't tell me there's an elephant out there.
No, I'm talking about our little make-out session.
Oh, that elephant in the room.
OK, I'm just going to say it.
I like you, D.
J.
, and I hope that you like me, and I wanna go on a date.
But if you don't, I am happy to keep things entirely professional and super awkward.
Matt, you're an amazing guy, but we do work together.
OK, bad start.
But I do really like you.
Back in the game.
So, I mean, I guess there's no harm in going on one little, innocent date.
Booyah.
How's dinner tonight? - I'm completely free.
- Great.
I was a little worried when you didn't mention the flowers that I got you.
Those were from you? Yeah, it was just a little gesture.
A little gesture? That was nothing.
Wait till we go on a real date.
Oh, my gosh.
Ooh, I think I just lost a filling.
- Like just this second? - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I have to go to the dentist.
But he's all booked right now, so, I'm going to have to go tonight.
You have a night dentist? Yeah, it's a real thing.
Look it up.
But no dinner.
I mean, that's the point.
997, 998, 999 I'm one red one short.
Oh, I'll hide a red Skittle.
She'll never know.
So you didn't send me roses either.
No, by "either," I didn't mean to imply that I was dating more than one guy Darren.
OK, alright, bye.
Aw, Steph, I'm so sorry.
I heard Mr.
Coffee, Mr.
Night Club, and Mr.
Baseball didn't send you the roses.
- Who'd you hear that from? - Me.
I was listening at the door.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find a real relationship.
Hang on, that's my husband.
I'm sorry, your what? My husband, Harry Takayama.
It was a beautiful ceremony Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Stephanie and Harry in holy mattress money.
Now say "I do.
" I do.
I do, too.
Stephanie and Harry, I now announce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
- Eww! - Eww! If you don't kiss, you're not really married.
He's not a bad kisser.
I remember that wedding.
You were registered at Toys "R" Us.
Yeah.
We did rush into things.
We should've waited till we were at least seven.
His text says, "After what I sent you, I thought I would've heard back from you by now.
" Ooh, maybe Harry sent the roses.
Yeah, I'll bet he did! Every few years, Harry does something crazy to try and start dating me, but I've never given him a shot.
Maybe you should.
I'm not getting anywhere with these bad boys, and Harry's got a great job, he's dependable, reliable, always on time.
And what girl doesn't want a man who's tall, dark and punctual? Every girl's dream.
You know what? He was a lot of fun in bed.
What? What? We used to love jumping back and forth on the beds together.
You know, I want someone to send me roses.
I want me some Harry Takayama.
I am inviting him over here right now.
Ooh, this is getting juicy.
You are enjoying this too much.
Ah, yes, I am! Holy chalupas! "I really like you.
" "Wanna hang out with me Saturday?" M&Ms and a whole day with Jackson? Heck, yeah! Sugar rush, here I come! Hola, Kimberlina.
I like the way you say "hello.
" Thank you so much for the beautiful roses.
These beautiful roses? Oh, the note got lost, but I know they're from you.
You big hunk of romance.
- You sure there's no note? - Mm-mm.
In that case, you're very welcome.
Did you see us kissing again? I sure did.
You're not gonna tell Ramona, right? I sure won't.
Why are you crazier than usual? I ate 999 M&Ms and one Skittle.
I race cars for a living, but that kid makes me nervous.
Aunt Becky, do you have a minute? Hold that thought.
The baby fashion show is about to begin.
I call it, "A Day in the Life of Tommy Fuller.
" We start our day in play-date casual.
Then this little Viking is off to the playground to conquer new sandboxes.
What's that? The call of the sea? It's a trip to the marina to see the tall ships.
We end our day with a little culture and an evening at the opera.
And then it's time for a night cap.
And off to bed.
Right? Off to bed! You need a dog or something.
Can we talk now? Sure.
Oh, wait! I forgot to show you his astronaut outfit.
It turns out Matt sent the roses.
Are you sure? Because according to my notes, there are a lot of suspects still in play.
Oh no, they're definitely from Matt.
He's a weirdo, right? Of course he is.
Why did I get involved with somebody I work with? Because he's so cute.
And sexy, good point.
But now it turns out he's a cute, sexy psycho.
But maybe he just really, really likes me.
I mean, who could blame him? I am the total package.
Let's face it, he has fallen madly in love with me way too fast, and now I have to break his hunky heart.
Thanks, Aunt Becky.
You always give such great advice.
No, wait.
We're not done here.
It's time for Tommy's first spacewalk.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
You know you have a baby problem, right? Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
Lola checked yes? Oh, thank you! OK, Saturday, we're gonna go to Sephora, pretend we wanna buy lip-gloss and get makeovers for free.
And then we'll go to Yogurtland, pretend we don't know what we want and sample all of the flavors.
Hey, Boo.
Boo who? Don't be sad, girl.
J-Money in the house.
So, Lo-Lo, lookin' forward to Saturday? Yeah, we were just talking about it.
Oh, I bet you were.
Gonna be off the chain, bay! I can't wait.
You can't wait to go to Sephora and try on make-up? What are you talkin' about? Lola and I are goin' to the Outback for a Bloomin' Onion.
Jackson, there you are! I can't wait for Saturday! J-Money say what? I got your note.
You're the best brother ever! Um, excuse me.
There's been a small misunderstanding.
Max! That note was not for you.
It was for Lola.
And so were the thousand red M&Ms.
How did you know I loved the red ones? Oh.
Everyone knows they're the best! Plus I told him.
So do you wanna hang out Saturday? Sure.
Hold it! We have plans Saturday.
Max, I told you that note wasn't for you.
That changes nothing.
We have a signed contract.
It's OK.
Max can come, too.
Saturday's a group hang at the mall.
Yeah, me, Lola and twelve of our best friends.
So, I'm gonna go to the mall with Max, Ramona and twelve other people? - Right.
- But you'll be there, too? - Yeah.
- Sweet! Hey, that's my shoe! Cosmo's a hoarder.
Hey, that's my One Direction pillow.
I mean, no, it's not.
But, um, I know who to return it to.
Wow, I just can't believe it.
I'm going out with Lola.
Big deal.
So am I.
Well, well, well, Mrs.
Takayama.
Looking very prim and proper.
Well, I figure Harry's a businessman and I wanna show him I mean business.
Oh, you have a tag back there.
Oh, no, no, no, no, don't pull on that.
In case this doesn't work out, I gotta return this puppy.
Tuck it in.
Hey, Deej.
So, you'll never guess who sent the roses.
- Matt.
- Fernando.
My husband Harry.
Ooh, we have three suspects again.
- No, no - No, it was Harry Suspect number one, the Latin lover.
First, Kimmy and I get back together again, and then I find a great parking spot.
Everything is coming up Fernando today.
Perfect timing.
Suspect number two, the kissing veterinarian.
D.
J.
, can we talk? So there are only twelve night dentists in the whole Bay Area, and you weren't at any of them.
Because I checked.
Our final suspect, the child groom.
- Stephanie! - Harry! Still a good kisser.
You look like a million bucks.
And in today's uncertain financial times, that's saying a lot.
Hi, everyone.
Harry Takayama, CPA.
OK, people, I have a flight to catch.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
You three gentlemen, sit.
Dr.
Matt Harmon, did you or did you not give flowers to D.
J.
Fuller? - I did.
- See, I told you he sent me the roses! Oh, I didn't send these.
- Wait, you just said - Hold on.
I'm running this show.
That brings us to Harry Takayama, CPA.
If that is your real job.
Who would lie about being a CPA? I'll ask the questions.
Harry, did you or did you not send these flowers to Stephanie? I did not.
That was so sweet of Wait, you did not? That means Fernando sent the roses.
It appears once again that I did.
If anyone's missing anything, Cosmo has been hiding stuff under my bed.
That means he's sorry.
That means he's really sorry.
OK, stop apologizing, you're embarrassing yourself.
Hey, here's the note for the roses.
Oops.
I better go feed the meter.
Oh, but the sender's name is chewed off.
Oh, it's after seven.
I'm good.
Let me see that.
The florist's name is right here.
I can call the store.
This is too stressful! I didn't send the roses! Why did you lie to me? Because I'm so glad we're getting along so good.
Please forgive me.
We'll talk about it tonight.
And if you're lucky, we'll talk about it in the morning, too.
OK, if you didn't send the roses, then why did you say you got me flowers? Because I did.
The two sunflowers I left at the front desk.
I mean, I would've gotten you more, but I didn't wanna scare you.
Well, in that case, is it too late to reschedule our date? I would like that a lot.
Or a little.
Whichever's less scary.
So what was that text about? I wanted you to RSVP to my wedding.
This one's for real.
No "holy mattress money.
" I never even got your invitation Oh, which is right here.
I'll be there.
Before I get married, there's something I really need to ask you.
Do you want the chicken or the fish? We still haven't found the secret admirer.
Hey, now.
I see you got my roses.
- These are from you? - Yeah.
You'd think I would have got a thank you call or a text or thumbs up emoji or something.
Honey, they're beautiful.
I love them.
But what are they for? As a thank you for getting to wake up next to you every morning and fall in love with you all over again.
And for that, for the good kissing.
Hey, Harry! Hey, kid.
You remember little Harry? He's my CPA.
Let's find a way to write these flowers off.
Come on, time to whisk you away.
To Hawaii on a private plane? No, to San Jose in a rental car.
- Bye, girls.
- Bye, Becky.
Love you.
Bye, Uncle Jesse.
I hope the seats fold down on that rental.
Have mercy! Not for us.
I wanna get all these flowers in the car.
Ugh, I should have rented a bus.
- Everyone, grab a bouquet.
- Grab a bouquet.
Well, here's to three beautiful women, none of whom got roses.
I bet I'll get some roses tomorrow.
Not only did I not get flowers, my husband's marrying another woman.
It's just been so long since I've been in love for real.
I kinda miss it.
Me, too.
Hey, are you OK? Yeah, it's, um It's hitting me that I'm about to go on my first date since Tommy died.
But I know he'd want me to be happy.
Thank you, guys.
I love you.
- Love you, too.
- I'm so glad that you're here for me.
Yeah together we can get through anything.
Oh.
Don't tell Becky, but I kept a few.
Me, too.
She'll never miss 'em.