GLOW (2017) s01e09 Episode Script
The Liberal Chokehold
1 [reporter 1.]
TWA Flight 847, hijacked five days ago by Shia Muslims, sits on the tarmac at Beirut Airport.
Today, an exclusive interview with pilot Captain John Testrake.
- [reporter 2.]
Have you been well-treated? - [Testrake.]
Yes.
- Right.
- [reporter 2.]
Are you able to eat what you want to eat? Well, uh [chuckles.]
They sometimes bring us airline food and they sometimes bring us, uh, Lebanese food, - and it's different, but it's delicious.
- What's Lebanese food? - Like, beans or something.
- The food is okay.
Or, like, noodles with spices, I think.
The bathroom on that plane has to be disgusting by now.
There's no one else onboard.
They took everyone off and hid them in What's it called? - Hezbollah.
- They're in Beirut.
- The city's called Beirut.
- [Stacey.]
It's Hezbollah.
Hezbollah's a group of people.
This is a city, and the city is Beirut.
Can we all just stop saying that word? [reporter 2.]
Any messages for your families? [Debbie.]
Sorry.
Hi, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had my own hostage situation here.
Those hijackers have nothing on this little terrorist.
I will be back at five.
Don't make me wait, Mark.
- Are you taking off? - I have practice in an hour.
It's in an hour.
I could have three meals in an hour.
Um, well I am not staying for you.
The hotel has no food, and I need to carbo-load.
- I'm just gonna use my hands.
- She's gonna go for it.
Oh Look what Mommy's doing.
- That's scary.
Mommy's scary.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, of course, you're perfect now.
- [gasps.]
Look at her go.
[clears throat.]
[Reagan.]
The 39 Americans held hostage for 17 days by terrorists in Lebanon are free, safe, and at this moment, on their way to Frankfurt Too bad that whole thing is over.
It was a ratings bonanza.
Mm.
[chuckles.]
Is that the lineup? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Look, here's GLOW.
Right between Dr.
Gene Scott and a new animated show called Miyamoto Musashi.
Ah.
Between a nutjob televangelist and an oriental cartoon.
[laughs.]
You'd be surprised.
It's a great slot.
Right.
Well, we, uh We just have a few notes.
Overall, extremely positive.
Just a few concerns.
Specifically, the, uh The colorful language and the KKK.
Oh, really? You didn't like that one, Glen? Well, uh Ah! [laughs.]
- Yeah.
- I'll tell you what I did love: the two black girls.
We want more of them.
Oh, sure you do.
Socially beneficial programming, part of our mission.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
[sniffs.]
Please continue.
- We were just talking about the KKK.
- [chuckles.]
Yes, of course.
Have you guys, uh, determined a filming location yet? - You don't know where you're filming? - [Sam.]
No, no.
No.
We have a great venue picked out.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure, sure.
But maybe KDTV has an extra studio - as an alternative.
- [Glen.]
Mr.
Howard, we were very explicit about this.
We provide the cameras and the airwaves, you provide everything else.
That's part of the reason we agreed to do this project.
[chuckles.]
Right.
Sorry.
First-time producer jitters and all that.
[Glen chuckles.]
Yeah.
[Glen clears throat.]
Well, I'm very excited, guys.
All right? We'll talk soon.
- Sam.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay.
All right, Bash.
- Okay.
- Talk to you later.
- That went well.
- What the fuck are you talking about? Where the hell have you been for two weeks? Well, I started at the Redondo Fun Factory.
I got the high score on Burger Time, then I was in a little beach shack and I met this guy Raúl who makes tequila I don't need your travel itinerary, I need $9,000 so I don't lose the venue.
[whispers.]
There's no money.
[in normal voice.]
Birdie cut me off, okay? I've got nothing.
I had a few thousand which I tried to turn at the racetrack, but then "Pyrrhic Victory" came in fucking seventh.
Well, what about GLOW? What about my movie? We had an agreement, man.
[stammers.]
I know.
And I'm sorry, Sam.
You're the fuckin' producer.
You're a human checkbook.
And if you're not that, you're just some overeager fanboy who's sold 14 women on some crazy fuckin' pipe dream.
[stammers.]
I'm gonna get it together.
It's not over yet.
When there's no more money, it's over.
[sighs.]
So, we're canceled.
Well, technically, you can't really be canceled if you haven't aired.
But we're on hiatus.
Open-ended.
- Should we start looking for other jobs? - Well, do what you gotta do, but yeah, probably.
Okay, this is bullshit, Sam.
We've all worked really hard.
I don't even talk to my dad anymore.
That's how bad I wanna do this.
Do you guys know how many plays I've done with no budget, where we've had to build every prop, every piece of scenery? I did a version of Peter Pan where we couldn't afford a flying rig, so two stage hands carried me around for three hours.
- How much do we need? - Yeah.
$9,000.
- [Melrose.]
What the fuck? - [Stacey.]
Shit.
No, please.
No, we can make that in our sleep.
- Charge people to watch us sleep? - No.
We fundraise.
- Shake the trees.
- We should do a car wash.
Yes! It's LA.
Everybody has a car.
We can wear bikini tops and pretend to fawn over engine size and horsepower.
- Eh.
- No, trust me.
In college, my sorority raised thousands of dollars for world hunger.
We used that money to remodel the deck.
So, all I had to do to get you over to the house was freeze your trust.
[sighs.]
Heh.
I'll remember that.
Oh, hand me my readers.
What's with the seating chart? Lily getting remarried? Very funny.
No, your sister left the Persian months ago.
I'm having a fund-raiser for Nancy's Just Say No campaign.
I sent you the details.
- Mm-hmm.
- This calligraphy is terrible.
- So modern.
- Yeah, well, it's a lot to produce.
You have a lot of people counting on you to spell their names correctly [stammers.]
and seat them and feed them.
What do you want? I'm requesting a thaw.
- No.
- [sighs.]
You have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in less than three months.
Unless you're running for office, I can't possibly imagine where all the money has gone.
I'm producing a women's wrestling show for KDTV.
Yes, it's real.
It's the first time I've put your money into something I care about.
And I just need 9,000 more dollars so I can finish what I started.
Come on, Birdie! Just say yes.
- That's off-message.
- Think of it like an investment.
[stammers.]
An opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a really exciting new venture.
I don't have any specs, but I can get you a business plan.
Know what, why don't you come down to the gym and see it for yourself? Come on down to that worthless property that you can't even get insured, because, hey, it's on a fault line.
Another wise decision.
Consider it a loan.
Cut me a check and I'll pay you back.
Since when do we talk so openly about money? What, are we Jews? Mom, I got a lot of people counting on me.
This is important.
And keeping poor black children off of crack is very important to me.
I expect you at that party on time.
I also need you to introduce me, since Bill Buckley canceled.
He claims he's on a deadline, but he's probably just wandering around his house, fiddling with his harpsichord.
[pop music playing.]
[Debbie.]
Hi! Welcome to the car wash! How are you? So it's $10 for a hand-wash, $20 for interior work.
- [man.]
I'll do $20.
- Okay.
[Jenny giggling.]
Hi.
- Thank you.
- Thank you! Oh, are these nail clippings? [Ruth.]
Maybe they're Fritos.
[vacuum powers on.]
[chattering.]
Yeah? Do you really think the show might go away? Like, we'd all never see each other again? It's not sleep-away camp, I mean, it's It's a job.
All jobs are a crapshoot.
Get used to it.
What? Did you steal more of my shit? - I did not invite you.
- I wanted to support women's sports.
They gave me a new parking spot at work.
My car's filthy.
It's under a fig tree.
Well, you'll have to pay double.
For the fig juice.
Okay.
Um, I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna go get a soda.
So, that's the guy? In the Beemer right there? Yep.
Not what I expected.
You were expecting what? Sean Penn? No, just someone less like a giant Cabbage Patch Kid.
I mean, I'm better-looking than that idiot.
I'm a sucker for non-threatening, unavailable men who compliment me.
[door opens.]
Ugh.
I got soap in my eyes.
- Why aren't you out there helping? - Uh I don't look good in a bikini.
[grunting.]
Yet.
[telephone ringing.]
[sighs.]
Hello.
Oh.
Uh Baby, phone call.
Who is it? I don't know, some chick named Mallory.
Cherry Bang? [Cherry.]
Yeah.
That can't possibly be your real name.
I'm sorry, do I know you? [Mallory.]
Got your name from Glen Klitnick.
They're developing a show called Chambers and Gold, it's essentially Cagney & Lacey, but with a black girl and a Jew.
Anyway, we'd like to bring you in.
Seriously? If you want the sides, come down to my office.
The audition is tomorrow.
6464 Sunset.
[chuckles.]
What was that? Think I just got an audition.
[Stacey.]
don't eat cantaloupe.
- [chuckling.]
- [chattering.]
[Melrose.]
Oh, hey.
It's the Little Match Girl.
- You don't look poor.
- He's not poor.
He's broke.
There's a difference.
[clears throat.]
Sam, can we go talk for a sec? Whatever you gotta say, you can say it in front of the girls.
Well, I spoke to my mother and I tried, I begged.
- Wasn't easy.
- It "wasn't easy"? We cleaned dead skin out of upholstery to try and keep this thing afloat.
Really? Well, how much did you make? Two hundred and eighty-seven dollars.
That's it? I haven't counted the change yet.
So we'll have another car wash.
We'll do a car wash every day until we raise enough money, until every car in this state is shining.
- Because we have to do something.
- [Melrose.]
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'll step up our game this time.
And go topless.
My mom's having a fund-raiser.
- For women's wrestling? - It doesn't matter what it's for, it's a room full of rich people with open checkbooks.
If we crash it, I bet we can walk out of there with something.
We Do we get to dress up? - [light piano music playing.]
- [indistinct chattering.]
- Hi, Sam.
- Good evening.
Why are you all dressed like fancy Mormons? Bash said to look conservative.
We didn't have a lot of options.
Mm.
Hey, Gary.
What a turnout tonight, huh? I'm sorry, Sebastian, you're on the list plus one, not 20.
No, no, no.
These are the the girls.
The former drug addicts? - From WAD? - [man.]
What? WAD? Uh, WAD.
Wrestlers Against Drugs.
- They're not on the list.
- 'Cause they're speakers, Gary.
They've turned their lives around through commitment to fitness and wrestling.
For God's sakes, this young lady, two months ago, she was selling her body for crack.
Now she's training every day, living in a halfway house.
She came here tonight to tell her story.
- Yeah, I - Through a translator, because she doesn't speak English.
[sighs.]
- Just don't touch anything.
- Okay.
Please don't mingle, don't talk to anybody.
Steal nothing.
Hi.
I'm their drug counselor.
- Sir.
- Choose life.
I did.
[light jazz music playing.]
[laughs.]
Well, I believe in 1986, we're not only gonna keep control of the Senate, we're gonna break that liberal choke hold on the House, too.
You see, Birdie? "The liberal choke hold.
" - You do like wrestling.
- Ah.
Hello, sweetheart.
Aw.
[kisses.]
Ooh, you smell nice! [Bash clears throat.]
I'm Debbie Eagan.
I'm a friend of Bash's.
Oh.
- You certainly wear a lot of makeup.
- Oh, thank you This is such bullshit.
Fighting the drug war while they get loaded on Kir Royales.
Fucking white, right-wing idiots.
Someone's grumpier than usual.
We lost the venue.
- The lady just called me an hour ago.
- Shit.
So, now I'm here to drink and not be alone before I never see any of you again.
Jesus, we'll find another venue.
Come on.
We may be down, but we're not out.
You're, like, half-Pollyanna, half-Vince Lombardi.
What can I say? I love a Hail Mary.
I'm gonna charm old people.
Are you gonna be okay? I'm not a child.
I'll be fine.
All right.
[gulps.]
[musician 1.]
Come back, play more Brubeck, then get the fuck out of here.
[Sam.]
Yeah, man.
Got any blow? No.
We don't.
You want some? [sniffs, grunts.]
Man.
Two more of these Beverly Hills parties, and we can get studio time.
[Sam.]
Gotta do the gigs so you can make shit you want.
I've been making this wrestling TV show just so I can fund my next movie.
- Huh.
No shit.
- [sniffs.]
Yeah.
[sniffs.]
Well I've been working on it for, like, ten years, man.
Ten years.
[musician 1.]
Mm.
It's a semi-autobiographical, psycho-sexual, time-travel drama.
What does that mean? All right, I'll tell ya.
It's about a boy, this all-American kid, can't stop jerking off to fantasies about having sex with his mother.
Right.
It makes him hate himself.
Right? So, he builds a time machine to go into the future where she's old and hideous so he can escape his Oedipal impulses.
But All right? Here's the "but.
" He puts the wrong date in the machine, and he goes back in time instead to the 1950s, where she's just a horny teenager, and she spends the rest of the movie just trying to fuck him instead of his dad.
Lookit, I've seen that movie.
No, you haven't.
I haven't made it.
It's called Mothers and Lovers.
Nah.
Nah, bro, it's called Back to the Future.
Right, okay, so, you saw a movie about a guy who goes back in time and almost has sex with his mother? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, man.
Just opened.
It's [laughs.]
It's fucking funny, too.
- Yeah, people fucking loved it.
- You're serious? Dead serious.
[musician 2 chuckling.]
It's hilarious.
[sighs.]
Fuck! [sniffing.]
- Hello, sir.
- Oh, wait.
We're sober.
I live in a halfway house, remember? Yeah, okay, but what if I fall off the wagon right now and then I sober up by the end of the party? - No.
- We're going to the bar right after this.
Here's what I've learned: I really like candelabra sconces.
And I've learned don't look directly into Bash's mom's eyes.
[scoffs.]
Look, I know that Mark has been Popping up a lot lately? Yeah.
And I just I appreciate you just getting the fuck out of the way.
It's one less minefield.
He wants to work things out.
[scoffs.]
He wants me to come home and try.
Go to therapy.
So, are you going to? What about the show? I don't know, okay? I mean, we might not even have a show.
So Well, you'll get something else.
You always have.
I think You know what the craziest part of this whole mess is? Um That [sighs.]
I actually like wrestling.
Really? Yeah.
I don't know, it's like I'm back in my body and it doesn't belong to Randy or Mark.
And, I don't know, I'm, like, using it for me and I feel like a goddamn superhero.
It's such a shit show, you know? Even if we get all the money we need, what is this gonna look like? Crap, probably.
And who knows if anyone's gonna watch this? - We are not that good.
- I know, but [chuckles.]
Sometimes I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.
[Perry Como's "Magic Moments" playing.]
The telephone call that tied up the line For hours and hours The Saturday dance I got up the nerve To send you some flowers Magic moments Mem'ries we've been sharin' Magic moments When two hearts are carin' Hey.
- Sam? - Yeah? These magic moments filled with love I didn't recognize you.
Thanks? - Can I talk to you? - Yeah.
Just join my, uh my pity party.
I'd like to toast my mother for organizing all this.
Ah.
[Bash.]
Before I bring her up here, I'd like to bring up some other powerful, equally admirable women.
[inhales sharply.]
[Bash.]
Women who have struggled with drug addiction.
Women who have found that showing up at a gym every day to learn how to wrestle has kept them sober.
These are the women of WAD.
Wrestlers Against Drugs.
They've come to share their stories.
If you're moved to support them, please, open your hearts and your checkbooks.
[crowd laughs.]
- [Bash.]
Thank you.
- For the love of God.
My low point came two months ago, when I woke up on a bench at the mall, naked and high.
Then I spent all my money on the crack.
So, my husband said, "It's either me or the crack.
" I chose the crack.
Crack should be my middle name.
And also my first and my last name.
Eggs, bacon, bangers and mash, toast, marmite and crack.
I went to three rehabs.
Uh, Hazelden was the best one, so, you know, you guys Now, if you have, like, a If you have a fucked-up kid or whatever.
Also, I did a lot of crack.
[scoffs.]
[speaking Khmer.]
[in English.]
crack! Tell the girls to stop talking and introduce me.
No, wait.
Last one, last one.
I've made a lot of terrible decisions.
Some of them I don't even remember.
[chuckles.]
I hit rock bottom when I slept with my friend's husband.
I was really wasted at the time.
But the second time I wasn't.
I knew what I was doing.
I was sober and insecure and I think I was acting out of this deep well of resentment [voice breaking.]
I didn't even know I had and it was just buried.
And then every It all came out and fucked up a real friendship.
But then, I found wrestling and it saved me.
Coming to the gym every day, seeing these women struggle to use their bodies and learn something new, and we did! And it's a better feeling than drugs.
Crack, specifically.
Wow.
Uh Hester, Martin, I I know we've just met, but I'm gonna hug you.
Big goof.
[exclaims.]
Now, that is misappropriation of solicited funds.
What's your name? Ruth.
[clears throat.]
Ruth Wilder.
My housekeeper's name is Ruth.
She's wonderful.
She cuts my fruit up into little pieces.
You know, I've always been embarrassed by Bash's obsession with wrestling.
I've been embarrassed by a lot of things my son chooses to spend his time doing but wrestling always sounded like pure trash.
But what you said now that is the first time I have come close to getting what all the fuss is about.
So thank you.
Now, tell me again, what do you need? - Nine thousand for a venue? - No.
I'm not giving you any more money.
But we do have a ballroom at the Hayworth.
- Unless that's too fancy for wrestling.
- [chuckles.]
No, it's great.
It's perfect.
Give me the checks.
- You should hug her.
- No, we don't do that.
I just work on my shit so fucking long and then, boom.
Someone else gets there first.
I mean, it's like why bother even trying to make anything that you really care about? Because that's what you do.
[scoffs.]
You're probably the only one who still cares about my work.
I do.
- And I - I'm gonna stop trying, you know? And just, like, fuck it.
Right? I mean, it's not about the next thing, because the next fucking thing never happens.
It's just about whatever's in front of you.
You are pretty.
I don't even know if you're over 18.
But I don't care.
- Oh, my God.
- What? Whoa, whoa! - Oh, my God.
- Honey, you've been following me like a puppy.
I am your daughter.
I'm What? My mother is Rosalie Biagi from Sacramento.
[shuddering.]
No.
I never lived in Sacramento.
You were at a Black Panther rally, you got kicked out, and you went to her bar and you went home with her.
Oh [Justine sighs.]
Shit.
All right.
So, what the fuck do you want? Do you want money? Do you want bone marrow? - No, I - What? [sighs.]
Stop fucking looking at me.
Come on.
[Perry Como's "Magic Moments" playing.]
Magic moments Memories we've been sharin' Magic moments When two hearts are carin' Time can't erase The memory of These magic moments Filled with love The way that we cheered Whenever our team Was scoring a touchdown The time that the floor fell out Of my car When I put the clutch down The penny arcade The games that we played The fun and the prizes The Halloween hop When everyone came In funny disguises Magic moments Filled with love
TWA Flight 847, hijacked five days ago by Shia Muslims, sits on the tarmac at Beirut Airport.
Today, an exclusive interview with pilot Captain John Testrake.
- [reporter 2.]
Have you been well-treated? - [Testrake.]
Yes.
- Right.
- [reporter 2.]
Are you able to eat what you want to eat? Well, uh [chuckles.]
They sometimes bring us airline food and they sometimes bring us, uh, Lebanese food, - and it's different, but it's delicious.
- What's Lebanese food? - Like, beans or something.
- The food is okay.
Or, like, noodles with spices, I think.
The bathroom on that plane has to be disgusting by now.
There's no one else onboard.
They took everyone off and hid them in What's it called? - Hezbollah.
- They're in Beirut.
- The city's called Beirut.
- [Stacey.]
It's Hezbollah.
Hezbollah's a group of people.
This is a city, and the city is Beirut.
Can we all just stop saying that word? [reporter 2.]
Any messages for your families? [Debbie.]
Sorry.
Hi, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had my own hostage situation here.
Those hijackers have nothing on this little terrorist.
I will be back at five.
Don't make me wait, Mark.
- Are you taking off? - I have practice in an hour.
It's in an hour.
I could have three meals in an hour.
Um, well I am not staying for you.
The hotel has no food, and I need to carbo-load.
- I'm just gonna use my hands.
- She's gonna go for it.
Oh Look what Mommy's doing.
- That's scary.
Mommy's scary.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, of course, you're perfect now.
- [gasps.]
Look at her go.
[clears throat.]
[Reagan.]
The 39 Americans held hostage for 17 days by terrorists in Lebanon are free, safe, and at this moment, on their way to Frankfurt Too bad that whole thing is over.
It was a ratings bonanza.
Mm.
[chuckles.]
Is that the lineup? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Look, here's GLOW.
Right between Dr.
Gene Scott and a new animated show called Miyamoto Musashi.
Ah.
Between a nutjob televangelist and an oriental cartoon.
[laughs.]
You'd be surprised.
It's a great slot.
Right.
Well, we, uh We just have a few notes.
Overall, extremely positive.
Just a few concerns.
Specifically, the, uh The colorful language and the KKK.
Oh, really? You didn't like that one, Glen? Well, uh Ah! [laughs.]
- Yeah.
- I'll tell you what I did love: the two black girls.
We want more of them.
Oh, sure you do.
Socially beneficial programming, part of our mission.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
[sniffs.]
Please continue.
- We were just talking about the KKK.
- [chuckles.]
Yes, of course.
Have you guys, uh, determined a filming location yet? - You don't know where you're filming? - [Sam.]
No, no.
No.
We have a great venue picked out.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure, sure.
But maybe KDTV has an extra studio - as an alternative.
- [Glen.]
Mr.
Howard, we were very explicit about this.
We provide the cameras and the airwaves, you provide everything else.
That's part of the reason we agreed to do this project.
[chuckles.]
Right.
Sorry.
First-time producer jitters and all that.
[Glen chuckles.]
Yeah.
[Glen clears throat.]
Well, I'm very excited, guys.
All right? We'll talk soon.
- Sam.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay.
All right, Bash.
- Okay.
- Talk to you later.
- That went well.
- What the fuck are you talking about? Where the hell have you been for two weeks? Well, I started at the Redondo Fun Factory.
I got the high score on Burger Time, then I was in a little beach shack and I met this guy Raúl who makes tequila I don't need your travel itinerary, I need $9,000 so I don't lose the venue.
[whispers.]
There's no money.
[in normal voice.]
Birdie cut me off, okay? I've got nothing.
I had a few thousand which I tried to turn at the racetrack, but then "Pyrrhic Victory" came in fucking seventh.
Well, what about GLOW? What about my movie? We had an agreement, man.
[stammers.]
I know.
And I'm sorry, Sam.
You're the fuckin' producer.
You're a human checkbook.
And if you're not that, you're just some overeager fanboy who's sold 14 women on some crazy fuckin' pipe dream.
[stammers.]
I'm gonna get it together.
It's not over yet.
When there's no more money, it's over.
[sighs.]
So, we're canceled.
Well, technically, you can't really be canceled if you haven't aired.
But we're on hiatus.
Open-ended.
- Should we start looking for other jobs? - Well, do what you gotta do, but yeah, probably.
Okay, this is bullshit, Sam.
We've all worked really hard.
I don't even talk to my dad anymore.
That's how bad I wanna do this.
Do you guys know how many plays I've done with no budget, where we've had to build every prop, every piece of scenery? I did a version of Peter Pan where we couldn't afford a flying rig, so two stage hands carried me around for three hours.
- How much do we need? - Yeah.
$9,000.
- [Melrose.]
What the fuck? - [Stacey.]
Shit.
No, please.
No, we can make that in our sleep.
- Charge people to watch us sleep? - No.
We fundraise.
- Shake the trees.
- We should do a car wash.
Yes! It's LA.
Everybody has a car.
We can wear bikini tops and pretend to fawn over engine size and horsepower.
- Eh.
- No, trust me.
In college, my sorority raised thousands of dollars for world hunger.
We used that money to remodel the deck.
So, all I had to do to get you over to the house was freeze your trust.
[sighs.]
Heh.
I'll remember that.
Oh, hand me my readers.
What's with the seating chart? Lily getting remarried? Very funny.
No, your sister left the Persian months ago.
I'm having a fund-raiser for Nancy's Just Say No campaign.
I sent you the details.
- Mm-hmm.
- This calligraphy is terrible.
- So modern.
- Yeah, well, it's a lot to produce.
You have a lot of people counting on you to spell their names correctly [stammers.]
and seat them and feed them.
What do you want? I'm requesting a thaw.
- No.
- [sighs.]
You have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in less than three months.
Unless you're running for office, I can't possibly imagine where all the money has gone.
I'm producing a women's wrestling show for KDTV.
Yes, it's real.
It's the first time I've put your money into something I care about.
And I just need 9,000 more dollars so I can finish what I started.
Come on, Birdie! Just say yes.
- That's off-message.
- Think of it like an investment.
[stammers.]
An opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a really exciting new venture.
I don't have any specs, but I can get you a business plan.
Know what, why don't you come down to the gym and see it for yourself? Come on down to that worthless property that you can't even get insured, because, hey, it's on a fault line.
Another wise decision.
Consider it a loan.
Cut me a check and I'll pay you back.
Since when do we talk so openly about money? What, are we Jews? Mom, I got a lot of people counting on me.
This is important.
And keeping poor black children off of crack is very important to me.
I expect you at that party on time.
I also need you to introduce me, since Bill Buckley canceled.
He claims he's on a deadline, but he's probably just wandering around his house, fiddling with his harpsichord.
[pop music playing.]
[Debbie.]
Hi! Welcome to the car wash! How are you? So it's $10 for a hand-wash, $20 for interior work.
- [man.]
I'll do $20.
- Okay.
[Jenny giggling.]
Hi.
- Thank you.
- Thank you! Oh, are these nail clippings? [Ruth.]
Maybe they're Fritos.
[vacuum powers on.]
[chattering.]
Yeah? Do you really think the show might go away? Like, we'd all never see each other again? It's not sleep-away camp, I mean, it's It's a job.
All jobs are a crapshoot.
Get used to it.
What? Did you steal more of my shit? - I did not invite you.
- I wanted to support women's sports.
They gave me a new parking spot at work.
My car's filthy.
It's under a fig tree.
Well, you'll have to pay double.
For the fig juice.
Okay.
Um, I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna go get a soda.
So, that's the guy? In the Beemer right there? Yep.
Not what I expected.
You were expecting what? Sean Penn? No, just someone less like a giant Cabbage Patch Kid.
I mean, I'm better-looking than that idiot.
I'm a sucker for non-threatening, unavailable men who compliment me.
[door opens.]
Ugh.
I got soap in my eyes.
- Why aren't you out there helping? - Uh I don't look good in a bikini.
[grunting.]
Yet.
[telephone ringing.]
[sighs.]
Hello.
Oh.
Uh Baby, phone call.
Who is it? I don't know, some chick named Mallory.
Cherry Bang? [Cherry.]
Yeah.
That can't possibly be your real name.
I'm sorry, do I know you? [Mallory.]
Got your name from Glen Klitnick.
They're developing a show called Chambers and Gold, it's essentially Cagney & Lacey, but with a black girl and a Jew.
Anyway, we'd like to bring you in.
Seriously? If you want the sides, come down to my office.
The audition is tomorrow.
6464 Sunset.
[chuckles.]
What was that? Think I just got an audition.
[Stacey.]
don't eat cantaloupe.
- [chuckling.]
- [chattering.]
[Melrose.]
Oh, hey.
It's the Little Match Girl.
- You don't look poor.
- He's not poor.
He's broke.
There's a difference.
[clears throat.]
Sam, can we go talk for a sec? Whatever you gotta say, you can say it in front of the girls.
Well, I spoke to my mother and I tried, I begged.
- Wasn't easy.
- It "wasn't easy"? We cleaned dead skin out of upholstery to try and keep this thing afloat.
Really? Well, how much did you make? Two hundred and eighty-seven dollars.
That's it? I haven't counted the change yet.
So we'll have another car wash.
We'll do a car wash every day until we raise enough money, until every car in this state is shining.
- Because we have to do something.
- [Melrose.]
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'll step up our game this time.
And go topless.
My mom's having a fund-raiser.
- For women's wrestling? - It doesn't matter what it's for, it's a room full of rich people with open checkbooks.
If we crash it, I bet we can walk out of there with something.
We Do we get to dress up? - [light piano music playing.]
- [indistinct chattering.]
- Hi, Sam.
- Good evening.
Why are you all dressed like fancy Mormons? Bash said to look conservative.
We didn't have a lot of options.
Mm.
Hey, Gary.
What a turnout tonight, huh? I'm sorry, Sebastian, you're on the list plus one, not 20.
No, no, no.
These are the the girls.
The former drug addicts? - From WAD? - [man.]
What? WAD? Uh, WAD.
Wrestlers Against Drugs.
- They're not on the list.
- 'Cause they're speakers, Gary.
They've turned their lives around through commitment to fitness and wrestling.
For God's sakes, this young lady, two months ago, she was selling her body for crack.
Now she's training every day, living in a halfway house.
She came here tonight to tell her story.
- Yeah, I - Through a translator, because she doesn't speak English.
[sighs.]
- Just don't touch anything.
- Okay.
Please don't mingle, don't talk to anybody.
Steal nothing.
Hi.
I'm their drug counselor.
- Sir.
- Choose life.
I did.
[light jazz music playing.]
[laughs.]
Well, I believe in 1986, we're not only gonna keep control of the Senate, we're gonna break that liberal choke hold on the House, too.
You see, Birdie? "The liberal choke hold.
" - You do like wrestling.
- Ah.
Hello, sweetheart.
Aw.
[kisses.]
Ooh, you smell nice! [Bash clears throat.]
I'm Debbie Eagan.
I'm a friend of Bash's.
Oh.
- You certainly wear a lot of makeup.
- Oh, thank you This is such bullshit.
Fighting the drug war while they get loaded on Kir Royales.
Fucking white, right-wing idiots.
Someone's grumpier than usual.
We lost the venue.
- The lady just called me an hour ago.
- Shit.
So, now I'm here to drink and not be alone before I never see any of you again.
Jesus, we'll find another venue.
Come on.
We may be down, but we're not out.
You're, like, half-Pollyanna, half-Vince Lombardi.
What can I say? I love a Hail Mary.
I'm gonna charm old people.
Are you gonna be okay? I'm not a child.
I'll be fine.
All right.
[gulps.]
[musician 1.]
Come back, play more Brubeck, then get the fuck out of here.
[Sam.]
Yeah, man.
Got any blow? No.
We don't.
You want some? [sniffs, grunts.]
Man.
Two more of these Beverly Hills parties, and we can get studio time.
[Sam.]
Gotta do the gigs so you can make shit you want.
I've been making this wrestling TV show just so I can fund my next movie.
- Huh.
No shit.
- [sniffs.]
Yeah.
[sniffs.]
Well I've been working on it for, like, ten years, man.
Ten years.
[musician 1.]
Mm.
It's a semi-autobiographical, psycho-sexual, time-travel drama.
What does that mean? All right, I'll tell ya.
It's about a boy, this all-American kid, can't stop jerking off to fantasies about having sex with his mother.
Right.
It makes him hate himself.
Right? So, he builds a time machine to go into the future where she's old and hideous so he can escape his Oedipal impulses.
But All right? Here's the "but.
" He puts the wrong date in the machine, and he goes back in time instead to the 1950s, where she's just a horny teenager, and she spends the rest of the movie just trying to fuck him instead of his dad.
Lookit, I've seen that movie.
No, you haven't.
I haven't made it.
It's called Mothers and Lovers.
Nah.
Nah, bro, it's called Back to the Future.
Right, okay, so, you saw a movie about a guy who goes back in time and almost has sex with his mother? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, man.
Just opened.
It's [laughs.]
It's fucking funny, too.
- Yeah, people fucking loved it.
- You're serious? Dead serious.
[musician 2 chuckling.]
It's hilarious.
[sighs.]
Fuck! [sniffing.]
- Hello, sir.
- Oh, wait.
We're sober.
I live in a halfway house, remember? Yeah, okay, but what if I fall off the wagon right now and then I sober up by the end of the party? - No.
- We're going to the bar right after this.
Here's what I've learned: I really like candelabra sconces.
And I've learned don't look directly into Bash's mom's eyes.
[scoffs.]
Look, I know that Mark has been Popping up a lot lately? Yeah.
And I just I appreciate you just getting the fuck out of the way.
It's one less minefield.
He wants to work things out.
[scoffs.]
He wants me to come home and try.
Go to therapy.
So, are you going to? What about the show? I don't know, okay? I mean, we might not even have a show.
So Well, you'll get something else.
You always have.
I think You know what the craziest part of this whole mess is? Um That [sighs.]
I actually like wrestling.
Really? Yeah.
I don't know, it's like I'm back in my body and it doesn't belong to Randy or Mark.
And, I don't know, I'm, like, using it for me and I feel like a goddamn superhero.
It's such a shit show, you know? Even if we get all the money we need, what is this gonna look like? Crap, probably.
And who knows if anyone's gonna watch this? - We are not that good.
- I know, but [chuckles.]
Sometimes I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.
[Perry Como's "Magic Moments" playing.]
The telephone call that tied up the line For hours and hours The Saturday dance I got up the nerve To send you some flowers Magic moments Mem'ries we've been sharin' Magic moments When two hearts are carin' Hey.
- Sam? - Yeah? These magic moments filled with love I didn't recognize you.
Thanks? - Can I talk to you? - Yeah.
Just join my, uh my pity party.
I'd like to toast my mother for organizing all this.
Ah.
[Bash.]
Before I bring her up here, I'd like to bring up some other powerful, equally admirable women.
[inhales sharply.]
[Bash.]
Women who have struggled with drug addiction.
Women who have found that showing up at a gym every day to learn how to wrestle has kept them sober.
These are the women of WAD.
Wrestlers Against Drugs.
They've come to share their stories.
If you're moved to support them, please, open your hearts and your checkbooks.
[crowd laughs.]
- [Bash.]
Thank you.
- For the love of God.
My low point came two months ago, when I woke up on a bench at the mall, naked and high.
Then I spent all my money on the crack.
So, my husband said, "It's either me or the crack.
" I chose the crack.
Crack should be my middle name.
And also my first and my last name.
Eggs, bacon, bangers and mash, toast, marmite and crack.
I went to three rehabs.
Uh, Hazelden was the best one, so, you know, you guys Now, if you have, like, a If you have a fucked-up kid or whatever.
Also, I did a lot of crack.
[scoffs.]
[speaking Khmer.]
[in English.]
crack! Tell the girls to stop talking and introduce me.
No, wait.
Last one, last one.
I've made a lot of terrible decisions.
Some of them I don't even remember.
[chuckles.]
I hit rock bottom when I slept with my friend's husband.
I was really wasted at the time.
But the second time I wasn't.
I knew what I was doing.
I was sober and insecure and I think I was acting out of this deep well of resentment [voice breaking.]
I didn't even know I had and it was just buried.
And then every It all came out and fucked up a real friendship.
But then, I found wrestling and it saved me.
Coming to the gym every day, seeing these women struggle to use their bodies and learn something new, and we did! And it's a better feeling than drugs.
Crack, specifically.
Wow.
Uh Hester, Martin, I I know we've just met, but I'm gonna hug you.
Big goof.
[exclaims.]
Now, that is misappropriation of solicited funds.
What's your name? Ruth.
[clears throat.]
Ruth Wilder.
My housekeeper's name is Ruth.
She's wonderful.
She cuts my fruit up into little pieces.
You know, I've always been embarrassed by Bash's obsession with wrestling.
I've been embarrassed by a lot of things my son chooses to spend his time doing but wrestling always sounded like pure trash.
But what you said now that is the first time I have come close to getting what all the fuss is about.
So thank you.
Now, tell me again, what do you need? - Nine thousand for a venue? - No.
I'm not giving you any more money.
But we do have a ballroom at the Hayworth.
- Unless that's too fancy for wrestling.
- [chuckles.]
No, it's great.
It's perfect.
Give me the checks.
- You should hug her.
- No, we don't do that.
I just work on my shit so fucking long and then, boom.
Someone else gets there first.
I mean, it's like why bother even trying to make anything that you really care about? Because that's what you do.
[scoffs.]
You're probably the only one who still cares about my work.
I do.
- And I - I'm gonna stop trying, you know? And just, like, fuck it.
Right? I mean, it's not about the next thing, because the next fucking thing never happens.
It's just about whatever's in front of you.
You are pretty.
I don't even know if you're over 18.
But I don't care.
- Oh, my God.
- What? Whoa, whoa! - Oh, my God.
- Honey, you've been following me like a puppy.
I am your daughter.
I'm What? My mother is Rosalie Biagi from Sacramento.
[shuddering.]
No.
I never lived in Sacramento.
You were at a Black Panther rally, you got kicked out, and you went to her bar and you went home with her.
Oh [Justine sighs.]
Shit.
All right.
So, what the fuck do you want? Do you want money? Do you want bone marrow? - No, I - What? [sighs.]
Stop fucking looking at me.
Come on.
[Perry Como's "Magic Moments" playing.]
Magic moments Memories we've been sharin' Magic moments When two hearts are carin' Time can't erase The memory of These magic moments Filled with love The way that we cheered Whenever our team Was scoring a touchdown The time that the floor fell out Of my car When I put the clutch down The penny arcade The games that we played The fun and the prizes The Halloween hop When everyone came In funny disguises Magic moments Filled with love