Greek s01e09 Episode Script
Depth Perception
Previously on Greek So what do I do? You do what you need to do to make it right in your mind.
How about some breakfast? - Later, Cap.
Purity pledge, activate.
- Amen! You have to choose.
Her or me? You don't want me to choose.
What's the story with the scruffy Kappa Tau who looks like Rob Thomas? He was talking to Casey this morning.
Oh, God.
Casey made the mistake of dating Cappie freshman year.
$275? He said he was buying.
You want me to bail you dorks out or not? Look around.
Some day this could all be yours.
How did you know about that video? - I sent it to you.
We can still move our relationship forward.
It's after 3:00, and no word.
That's not good.
Our house is at the end of Greek row.
They have four other nominees to give roses to.
I'm sure they'll show up any minute.
Any word? - No, I'm competing with every girl in the Greek system.
Case, you know, maybe not being nominated for "Omega Chi Sweetheart" wouldn't be the end of the world.
Or maybe it would.
No sister has ever been elected president of ZBZ without taking "Sweetheart of Omega Chi" first.
Well, there was Vanessa Davis in '95, but she had scoliosis and played the whole "I've-overcome-obstacles-thing" to gain sympathy votes.
So it's possible without.
But not with your posture.
So Casey's entire political future at Zeta Beta Zeta depends on this moment? Okay, I'm just gonna stop with the helping.
Being nominated "Omega Chi Sweetheart," it's like running in the primaries.
If you don't take New Hampshire - It's 3:05.
Maybe we should think of some obscure disease you could be suffering from.
Let's plan a Gray's Anatomy marathon just in case.
Oh, my God! - Yes! Yes, yes! Okay, God, this is so exciting.
It's almost like it's happening to me again.
Casey Cartwright, it is my pleasure to announce your official nomination to the court of "Sweetheart of Omega Chi.
" I accept! Hey.
- Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
I couldn't find my dorm key, and then I realized that it was in my room, which was locked.
My roommate was, like, absolutely no help.
Come on in.
I missed you.
It was the longest 3 1/2 hours of my life.
So, uh Yeah.
Do you think you want, you know, you might That's why I said "yeah" just now.
I wasn't sure.
- It's okay.
I didn't want it to be awkward.
Wait, where's Dale? - It's Wednesday, so he'll be at the biology building for another 20 minutes, and then he'll get his cherry limeade and cheesaritos, which'll take another 8 to 11 minutes depending on pedestrian traffic.
You know, this'll be our third time.
- Fourth.
Maybe.
Yeah, I don't know.
I wasn't keeping track or anything.
Ignore it.
It must be broken or something.
Rusty! Did you say Wednesday? It's Thursday.
He'll freak if he catches us.
What a waste.
Thermodynamics and heat transfer analysis? My little sister could teach that class.
I'm gonna check my Second Life stock.
You wanna see my new avatar? What are you guys doing? Nothing.
- Nothing.
GREEK 1X09 "Depth Perception" Winning the title of "Omega Chi Sweetheart" is completely dependent on your personal interaction with each and every Omega Chi, as well as catering to their basic needs.
Um, hello! We're ZBZs, not Tri Pis.
Not those needs.
Right? Of course not.
This isn't the Clinton administration.
Think more Laura Bush.
- Ew.
Trust me, the Omega Chis aren't looking for a girl who swigs beer and shows off her whale tail.
This girl represents the fraternity publicly, so they're wanting less Ginger and more Mary Ann.
This is the girl they want to bring home to mother Bush.
Now, I like to take the two-pronged approach: win their stomachs, and then win their hearts.
So let's start talking baked goods.
I was thinking maybe something in a scone.
Casey's not much of a baker.
But I can drive to the store, buy some muffins, wrap 'em up to make 'em look homemade, right? Genius.
- I've been inspired by the master.
I only wish I had a me for inspiration last year.
Oh, my God.
I was so nervous.
Despite completely dominating the competition.
It seems like so long ago.
I can barely even remember Blake coming over to the ZBZ house, presenting me with my white rose.
Frannie, Frannie.
Muffins? Oh! Right.
Okay.
Next topic: Current events.
"Ten things you should know about fantasy football.
" How about tomorrow night? Yep, that should be good.
Could we use your room? - I don't think so.
My roommate Stephanie could barely make it past the dresser this morning.
She needs to go to Student Health.
That's the problem, she's agoraphobic.
She can't really "go" anywhere.
She spends all day on the internet talking into her little web cam.
It's like living with LonelyGirl15.
What about your room? Tonight? Hold on.
Let me check Dale's schedule.
Is this weird? Trying to have sex around Dale's schedule? It's getting weird, right? I mean, I know he has some issues, but "Some" issues? He cancelled our cable after accidentally watching three minutes of a Dawson's Creek rerun.
Then can't we just tell him that we'd like to have the room for one evening? Don't you think you have as much of a right to personal time as he does? Yeah, you're right.
It's not like being baptist qualifies as a debilitating medical condition.
I'll talk to him.
- Good.
'Cause I'd kinda like to get into the double digits.
What? Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, Cappie! Wait up! Spitter! It's a beautiful day, wouldn't you You look different.
Haircut? Hmm, maybe I look different because I had sex? No, that's not it.
Are you wearing a bronzer? I lost my virginity.
Ah, Mazel Tov, young man.
How's it going in the afterglow? - Great.
It'd be better if I didn't have a roommate who's a born-again Christian with a light class schedule.
Logistical problems.
Well, I'd be happy to let you use my deluxe accommodations.
Really? You don't mind? Absolutely not.
Only 20 bucks an hour.
For reservations, contact Wade.
We are booked for the next two weeks.
However, after finals I am expecting a lull.
Two weeks? I need the cash flow, bro.
I've got some debts to pay off.
Hold, please.
You can't get me in any sooner? Do you have triple A? Would that matter? - No.
Never mind, I'll just have to talk to Dale.
He's probably just finishing his Fruit Roll-Up.
Side effects may include nausea, blindness, decapitation, rectal oozing.
This is not a pharmaceutical study.
I know, I was just hiding behind witticism to mask the resentment of an unfulfilled childhood.
The intent of this experiment is to examine theories of behavioral psychology.
Tomorrow's experiment will begin with "the stroop" task.
I think I had "the stroop" once.
And we will be adding environmental stressors over time.
We're exploring the Gestalt perceptual laws of organization.
The test requires you to stay awake for 30 hours.
One of our psych lower-division undergrads will be with you for the duration of the test to supervise and record your responses.
Oh, I love being supervised and recorded.
We'll start tomorrow afternoon.
Be sure to bring plenty of food and liquids with you.
No alcohol.
Uh, it's wierd.
Most students can't resist a joke.
Clearly I'm not most students.
Clearly.
The student who will administer the test is participating for a grade, but understand this is a professional study.
You'll be expected to answer every question the administrator gives you.
You'll be given access to a bathroom, but that is it for 30 hours.
Ms.
Logan, please come meet your test subject.
This is case study 8675309.
Rob Thomas guy? - Actually, your subject's name is Unimportant.
Remember, Logan, we don't see things as they are.
We see things as we are.
I used to be a psych major.
Hey, Rus.
I finished your milk.
But I can get some more.
No problem.
Off to calculus? Parlin Hall, from 2:00 to 4:00? You know me well.
I kinda wanted to talk to you about something.
Oh, I gotta talk to you about something too.
Well, if I could go first Doreen Dresselhaus McCaw is coming to CRU! Dale, she's a nuclear physicist, not a rock star.
Uh, excuse me, but her work in proton emulsion has literally rocked the world.
Anyway, she's giving an open lecture tomorrow.
I thought we could go.
- Tomorrow? Sure.
That sounds fine.
- Great.
And then Maybe Perhaps I could possibly have the room Alone With Jen.
Oh.
I see.
Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem.
Really? Yeah, you know.
Love the sinner, hate the sin, right? Is that a yes? Yeah, just give me some notice.
I'll disappear.
- Wow! This really means a lot to me.
Thank you.
All right, buddy, tomorrow it is.
Just you, me, and Doreen Dresselhaus McCaw.
And it never occurred to you that in order to be pre-med, you might need to take some Actual Science classes? I did.
I took biology and chemistry, didn't I? - You didn't take chemistry.
Nor physics - Well, I figured those would start when I finished the pre part and got to the med.
Sorry.
- But what about my dream of becoming a gorgeous but troubled intern in a hospital full of other gorgeous interns discussing my love life while performing complex surgeries and hating my mother? Try the drama department.
Well, are Are there any exceptions? By the way, um, I'm not just saying this, but I love your glasses.
If you plan to graduate with any degree from this institution, you're going to need to complete a fifth year here at Cyprus-Rhodes.
I mean, with the way HMOs are cutting into profit margins, it just doesn't make sense for me to go into medicine anyway.
So I'm thinking pre-law, perhaps.
Regardless, I'm staying for a fifth year here at CRU! Yay! Isn't that great, Case? Yeah! Hey, let's get drinks to celebrate.
Are you really okay with this? My parents are gonna freak out when they find out they have to pay for a fifth year.
And of course that means I'm never gonna get to be An Izzy.
Or a Meredith.
I know.
I'm so sorry.
You know me so well.
I really need to think of something to keep my mind off things.
How about a spa weekend? I don't think so.
- How about we charter Rebecca's jet Yay.
It's all so empty.
Is there something you had in mind? I knew you'd understand.
I was thinking about running for "Omega Chi Sweetheart" again.
Oh.
Is that possible? Totally.
I've already checked into it, and as the formerly-crowned "Omega Chi Sweetheart" I have the right to run again.
So we'd be running against each other.
Wouldn't that be bad? - Yes.
It'd split the ZBZ vote.
And if that happens, you know who loses.
Zeta Beta Zeta? Exactly.
So what you're saying is I need to drop out of the Sweetheart race for the good of the house? I mean, if that's what you feel like you should do, I totally support you in that.
- But Frannie, what about the primaries? And all that stuff you said about New Hampshire and the ZBZ presidency? All that was just a theory.
You could still be president without being Omega Chi Sweetheart.
You just have to work a little harder.
That's all.
You know what? I'm feeling better already.
Hi.
- Hi.
So what's the process of removing myself from the running? Wait a minute.
Casey.
Are you sure you wanna do this? Frannie's my big sis.
She's done so much for me.
The advice, the encouragement.
And I admire your loyalty.
I do.
But you really wanted this.
Is it your fault that she's not graduating on time? It's complicated.
She's, like, my mentor and my friend.
Well, then you know what? This should just be some friendly competion.
She's had her time.
She needs to exit the stage gracefully, and Well, I shouldn't be telling you this.
She might not be the most popular ZBZ at the Omega Chi house.
You think I could beat Frannie? I don't know if you've noticed, but I have been running quite the campaign.
That's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
Casey.
Listen, Frannie's already had her reign.
All right? It's your turn now.
My weekend with the senator's daughter.
Sounds kinky.
We'll start with "the stroop" task.
The objective of this test is to measure your reaction time as it relates to your brain's unconscious.
So is this your major? I don't get credit for small talk.
Let's start the test, shall we? What is your hurry? We have all weekend.
Besides, I like to get to know my supervisor before I stroop her.
It really is an amazing word that can be used in many different ways.
Maybe it's time you start cooperating, or Or I'll tell everyone on campus your real name.
Name the color this word is written in.
Red.
Correct.
Rusty! I saved you A seat.
I didn't know you had an interest in nuclear fission, Jennifer.
Well, I figured if it was important to Rusty, that I should learn a little bit about it.
I see.
- Dale, do you mind if Jen and I sit together? No, sure.
That's a better seat up there anyway.
Ready, set! Hike! Yes! Nice play, Cartwright.
Hey, Frannie.
The guys are loving the smoothies.
Big hit.
So sweet of you to come out and support my campaign, Case.
Actually, I'm not here in support of your candidacy.
Then why are you here? Um.
I hope you understand.
But I've decided that I'm not going to drop out of the race.
Wait.
You're not dropping out? Not that I think I'll win or anything.
Of course not.
So why run? Um, you know, this is my junior year, and it's my only chance, since I'm going to graduate on time.
Not that I'm super-proud of that or anything.
I mean, a lot of people do fifth years.
It's common.
And if I should happen to win, that'd be better than losing to some Tri Pi, right? Yes, it would If I was planning on losing.
Good luck, sweetie.
Have you seen my milk? I just bought a half gallon yesterday.
No, sure haven't.
Why is my milk in the trash? Oh, that milk.
I thought that expired.
After one day? It's not even open.
Well, maybe you shouldn't buy such a big carton, so it doesn't take up so much room in the fridge.
We agreed to share the fridge though.
No, we did, but that means halvesies, not three-quartersies.
See, your milk crossed the border.
Okay.
Um, so Jen and I were thinking about using the room tomorrow night.
You know what, Rusty? That's That's not gonna work for me.
What about Sunday night? Now, that is really not gonna work for me.
But you said you were okay with it before.
You know I'm a complex individual.
I change my mind.
So what do you think? Which Which shoes? Well, you know, they always say you can never go wrong with a Peep Toe.
Who's they? I don't know.
I was just tryin' to help.
Again.
What would Frannie say? She seriously hasn't spoken one word to you since the game? I've seen her six times, and she just smiles and walks away.
This morning at breakfast she winked at me.
Well, that's scary.
- Yeah.
Have you - What? Uh Do you think that she's gonna wanna run for president? I can't read her.
I'm not sure if she's being passive-aggressive or just totally cool about all of this.
I have no idea where her head is.
There you are.
Hi.
Frannie.
Getting ready for the big night? Yeah, I was just trying to decide what shoes to wear.
Oh, definitely the Peep Toes.
Demure but inviting.
So how's the speech coming? All done.
I expect nothing less.
May the best woman win.
Oh, and don't be late.
If you miss the speeches, you're automatically disqualified.
Bye.
I can't believe you worked everything out with Dale.
Yeah, it's great.
Why is your stuff all piled up over here on the floor? I think Dale's cleaning or something.
The Dale tracker again? I thought you said you talked through all this.
Something's wrong with my computer.
Did you reboot it? That's weird, it says the signal is coming from Where? Inside the room.
Did you really think I wouldn't figure this out? GPS with a five-mile radius? Please.
Got milk, Rusty? Jen, you should go.
Um, okay.
Bye, Dale.
Rusty, call me.
Tell me what you see.
I see me taking a nap.
You can sleep when you're finished.
Answer the question.
Two triangles and three circles.
Wrong! There are no actual triangles or circles in the image.
Isn't there a rule that the supervisor has to avoid showing her personal feelings about the subject? Maybe.
This is my first class.
Well, there should be.
This is like being at a slumber party with Jack Bauer.
I know how hard you work to pretend nothing ever bothers you.
Stop.
I'll tell you where the nukes are.
Next topic, aural stimuli.
You wish.
I'm gonna play a sound, and you identify what it is.
First thing that pops in your mind.
Evan Chambers losing his allowance.
Oh, come on, that deserves a check.
But it's so much more fun to be wrong, isn't it? I don't know.
Is it? Little Miss Perfect has her Cinderella ball tonight.
Doesn't bother you that Casey picked another Prince Charming? I don't get paid for small talk.
- Uh-huh.
Should we get back to the test? I don't know anything about this.
Where's Frannie? She's not here, but he said your name's on the work order too.
This is Casey Cartwright.
I'm John the plumber.
A Frannie Morgan called earlier.
Said you needed some pipes replaced.
But tonight? They've been leaking for months.
Oh, she insisted.
Said it was an emergency.
It had to be taken care of today.
Uh, so I'm gonna need to shut this water off for a while.
Okay, well, uh, give us a few minutes to finish getting ready, and then it's all yours.
Well, I'm gonna need you or Miss Morgan here until I finish.
Your names are on the work order.
You gotta sign off.
It's company policy.
I told her that on the phone.
Well, how long did you tell her this was going to take? That depends on the condition of the pipes.
Uh, we could be here all night.
The Greek system at CRU is certainly not what it used to be.
You've seen the Kappa Tau house, right? Disgusting.
And those girls at Mu Gamma Pig Uh, what did I just say? I meant Sig.
Casey.
The speeches are about to start.
I was afraid you weren't going to make it.
Here I am.
The plumbing's all taken care of.
Great, I'm glad it wasn't as extensive as I thought.
No, it was exactly as extensive as you thought.
It would have taken all night, but it turns out Jen K's dad's a plumber, and she was able to help.
John the plumber actually offered her a job.
I hope you encouraged her to take it.
Hey, Frannie.
O'Toole! Great game the other day.
Travis says I don't know how to follow.
I'm a total follower.
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but, uh, Travis might be right.
Well, thanks for being my handsome escort for tonight.
I am lucky to have such a beautiful lady on my arm.
And my feet.
- Ooh-ooh.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
- Sorry.
So give me the dirt.
How's the Sweetheart race looking? Uh, my money's on Casey.
This is it! Come on in.
I heard about the honors engineering floor, but I thought it was a joke.
It's real.
Want something to drink? Yeah.
Sure.
Cool flag.
You English? Hey, Beaver, why don't you tell Dale how you got your name? Hey, Dale.
Dale.
All right, last test.
Emotions can have an important effect on perception.
Emotions play a larger role in perception under stress or extreme circumstances.
So what do you see? A dog.
Correct answer is cloud.
Who looks at a cloud and just sees a cloud? Me.
Look.
The dog's head's over there.
The legs are in the back.
It's a boy.
I don't see it.
Maybe you're projecting.
I always wanted a dog.
We moved around too much.
And chances are my parents would have accidentally killed it anyway.
I'm so tired, I feel drunk.
I am seriously on the verge of singing the Kenny Rogers songbook or making some embarrassing true confessions.
So why would your parents have accidentally killed the dog? Let's just say there wasn't an abundance of stability.
My parents are hippies with all kinds of great ideals, but they're not the most responsible people.
Got it.
You know what your problem is? - What? Perspective.
Come sit over here.
Look at it this way.
Come on.
It kind of looks like a bong.
Oddly enough, I don't see that.
I used to see everything in terms of whether it would piss off my parents.
Bongs did that.
You like to walk on the wild side, huh? Not anymore.
The whole out-of-control rich girl thing got to be a little too Lindsay Lohan-ish.
You know, you're not nearly as unpleasant as I thought you'd be, Logan.
I know.
You smell better than I thought you would.
What kind of hippies would name you Nah, shh.
Hippies with a finely-honed sense of irony.
Time's up.
This concludes our experiment.
Thanks to both of you.
Here is your compensation for participating.
Rebecca I'll see you in class on Tuesday.
Those are the real weapons of mass destruction.
Am I right? You guys are awesome.
Just remember, a vote for me is a vote against the terrorists.
God bless America! Frannie, can we please stop this? I know you're angry with me, so why don't we stop pretending? Pretending? I don't know what you're talking about.
Just because your plans changed, doesn't mean I should have to give up on everything I've worked so hard for.
Casey.
Can you please put your own political ambitions aside and think of someone other than yourself? You started all this.
And you knew how important this was to me.
But you wouldn't drop out.
I should have known you'd stop at nothing to get ahead.
After all, you took Evan back even though he cheated on you.
No! I didn't back up! Dale, what happened? Maybe some prankster hacked into the university power grid and shut you down.
And drained my battery so it wouldn't work, either? I'm going to have sex, Dale.
Deal with it.
This isn't about sex, Rusty.
- Then what? When school started, I thought you were this cool, smart engineering guy who understood the importance of things like comic-con and nuclear physics You're still talking about that stupid lecture? That stupid lecture was important to me, okay? And I thought it was important to you.
I thought that our friendship was more important.
We're not friends, Dale.
We're roommates.
Well, maybe you should find a new roommate.
Maybe I will.
When I came to Cyprus-Rhodes, I knew nothing about the Greek system.
At first glance it seemed like a great way to have fun.
What I quickly discovered was an incredible group of people who I will have a special bond with forever.
I wondered where that unconditional bond comes from.
What I've learned, thanks to some very special people in my life, is that, well, for me anyway, being Greek is about tradition.
And passing that tradition onto others.
That proud passing of the torch keeps the integrity of our Greek system alive.
It's our foundation.
I found someone who was selflessly willing to pass her legacy on to me.
Someone I see not only as a mentor, but as a friend.
But no matter what happens, till the day I die, I will always be sweet on the boys of Omega Chi.
Um, all right, you guys, it's time to cast the votes.
Okay.
Okay, the votes are in.
And the title of "Omega Chi Sweetheart" of 2007 goes to Casey Cartwright.
Oh, my Gosh.
At least that bitch didn't win again.
Too bad you have to live with her.
The best girl won.
Can you believe that Tri Pi and her "wardrobe malfunction?" Jen! Rusty! Oh, you should have seen Casey.
Casey, great.
Dale's out of control.
He hacked my power.
I lost my paper.
There's milk everywhere.
And - Um I'll catch up with you guys later.
Are you okay? You seem a little worked up.
Will you come back to my room and have sex with me in front of Dale? Rusty! - That's my only logical recourse.
Rusty, let it go.
If he doesn't want us in his room, then that's fine.
We'll figure something out.
Maybe I can put in a transfer to another room or something.
No, I'll do it.
- And leave Dale? You're willing to leave Stephanie.
Because she's an agoraphobe who scares me.
But Dale's a germaphobe who's constantly butting into my business.
And studying with you and going to lectures with you, and watching Planet Earth Yes.
And didn't he teach you how to play hockey and show up at your intramural game? Yes.
But he What about the volcano? He committed a crime for you.
There's no way we could have pulled that off without him.
I mean, without Dale, who knows if we'd even be together.
But he's a conservative, right-wing southern baptist with a confederate flag on the wall.
And you're a frat guy who is asking him to push his religious beliefs aside so that you can have sex with your girlfriend.
Yeah, you guys definitely have your differences, but when you add it all up, you and Dale are friends.
I'm exhausted.
At least you got paid.
But the knowledge you received was far more valuable.
Right.
You realize it was totally pointless.
The slides, the tests, all of it.
I'm not sure all of it was.
What happened in that room means nothing in the real world.
There is no real world.
Just two strangers picked to sit in a room and get their lives taped.
See ya around.
Hey! Okay, that's wonderful.
I'm awake now.
Sorry.
Look, Dale - I asked around and a couple other guys on this floor dropped out, so if you still wanna change rooms I don't wanna change rooms.
Unless you still want me to.
Maybe.
You know, you're right about Jen.
No appreciation for Doreen.
Yeah, well, few do.
Sometimes showing appreciation is a hard thing to do.
You mean like showing appreciation for me? Yes, I mean you.
So you mean you appreciate me.
Exactly.
You appreciate me like a good roommate? I appreciate you like a good friend.
So I bought some cookie dough for all that milk.
You want some? Nah, no thanks.
Cookie dough salmonella can kill you.
Good night, Rusty.
Good night, Dale.
Hey.
Hey.
Great speech tonight.
Really tugged on those heartstrings.
I tried to find you after the announcement, but I guess you'd already left.
I know when to make my exit.
Frannie.
I meant what I said.
We're friends, first and foremost.
What's on your mind? Al Gore.
I'm more of a Jake Gyllenhall girl myself.
No, I was actually thinking about how crazy it is that someone can win the popular vote, and still not be elected president.
Yeah.
That's pretty crazy.
Enjoy your win, poodle.
Doesn't last forever.
Don't stay up too late.
Guess I missed the fun.
This is for you.
It's from Cappie.
"Payback's a bitch, and so am I.
"Sorry you had to bail me out.
Cap.
"
How about some breakfast? - Later, Cap.
Purity pledge, activate.
- Amen! You have to choose.
Her or me? You don't want me to choose.
What's the story with the scruffy Kappa Tau who looks like Rob Thomas? He was talking to Casey this morning.
Oh, God.
Casey made the mistake of dating Cappie freshman year.
$275? He said he was buying.
You want me to bail you dorks out or not? Look around.
Some day this could all be yours.
How did you know about that video? - I sent it to you.
We can still move our relationship forward.
It's after 3:00, and no word.
That's not good.
Our house is at the end of Greek row.
They have four other nominees to give roses to.
I'm sure they'll show up any minute.
Any word? - No, I'm competing with every girl in the Greek system.
Case, you know, maybe not being nominated for "Omega Chi Sweetheart" wouldn't be the end of the world.
Or maybe it would.
No sister has ever been elected president of ZBZ without taking "Sweetheart of Omega Chi" first.
Well, there was Vanessa Davis in '95, but she had scoliosis and played the whole "I've-overcome-obstacles-thing" to gain sympathy votes.
So it's possible without.
But not with your posture.
So Casey's entire political future at Zeta Beta Zeta depends on this moment? Okay, I'm just gonna stop with the helping.
Being nominated "Omega Chi Sweetheart," it's like running in the primaries.
If you don't take New Hampshire - It's 3:05.
Maybe we should think of some obscure disease you could be suffering from.
Let's plan a Gray's Anatomy marathon just in case.
Oh, my God! - Yes! Yes, yes! Okay, God, this is so exciting.
It's almost like it's happening to me again.
Casey Cartwright, it is my pleasure to announce your official nomination to the court of "Sweetheart of Omega Chi.
" I accept! Hey.
- Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
I couldn't find my dorm key, and then I realized that it was in my room, which was locked.
My roommate was, like, absolutely no help.
Come on in.
I missed you.
It was the longest 3 1/2 hours of my life.
So, uh Yeah.
Do you think you want, you know, you might That's why I said "yeah" just now.
I wasn't sure.
- It's okay.
I didn't want it to be awkward.
Wait, where's Dale? - It's Wednesday, so he'll be at the biology building for another 20 minutes, and then he'll get his cherry limeade and cheesaritos, which'll take another 8 to 11 minutes depending on pedestrian traffic.
You know, this'll be our third time.
- Fourth.
Maybe.
Yeah, I don't know.
I wasn't keeping track or anything.
Ignore it.
It must be broken or something.
Rusty! Did you say Wednesday? It's Thursday.
He'll freak if he catches us.
What a waste.
Thermodynamics and heat transfer analysis? My little sister could teach that class.
I'm gonna check my Second Life stock.
You wanna see my new avatar? What are you guys doing? Nothing.
- Nothing.
GREEK 1X09 "Depth Perception" Winning the title of "Omega Chi Sweetheart" is completely dependent on your personal interaction with each and every Omega Chi, as well as catering to their basic needs.
Um, hello! We're ZBZs, not Tri Pis.
Not those needs.
Right? Of course not.
This isn't the Clinton administration.
Think more Laura Bush.
- Ew.
Trust me, the Omega Chis aren't looking for a girl who swigs beer and shows off her whale tail.
This girl represents the fraternity publicly, so they're wanting less Ginger and more Mary Ann.
This is the girl they want to bring home to mother Bush.
Now, I like to take the two-pronged approach: win their stomachs, and then win their hearts.
So let's start talking baked goods.
I was thinking maybe something in a scone.
Casey's not much of a baker.
But I can drive to the store, buy some muffins, wrap 'em up to make 'em look homemade, right? Genius.
- I've been inspired by the master.
I only wish I had a me for inspiration last year.
Oh, my God.
I was so nervous.
Despite completely dominating the competition.
It seems like so long ago.
I can barely even remember Blake coming over to the ZBZ house, presenting me with my white rose.
Frannie, Frannie.
Muffins? Oh! Right.
Okay.
Next topic: Current events.
"Ten things you should know about fantasy football.
" How about tomorrow night? Yep, that should be good.
Could we use your room? - I don't think so.
My roommate Stephanie could barely make it past the dresser this morning.
She needs to go to Student Health.
That's the problem, she's agoraphobic.
She can't really "go" anywhere.
She spends all day on the internet talking into her little web cam.
It's like living with LonelyGirl15.
What about your room? Tonight? Hold on.
Let me check Dale's schedule.
Is this weird? Trying to have sex around Dale's schedule? It's getting weird, right? I mean, I know he has some issues, but "Some" issues? He cancelled our cable after accidentally watching three minutes of a Dawson's Creek rerun.
Then can't we just tell him that we'd like to have the room for one evening? Don't you think you have as much of a right to personal time as he does? Yeah, you're right.
It's not like being baptist qualifies as a debilitating medical condition.
I'll talk to him.
- Good.
'Cause I'd kinda like to get into the double digits.
What? Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, Cappie! Wait up! Spitter! It's a beautiful day, wouldn't you You look different.
Haircut? Hmm, maybe I look different because I had sex? No, that's not it.
Are you wearing a bronzer? I lost my virginity.
Ah, Mazel Tov, young man.
How's it going in the afterglow? - Great.
It'd be better if I didn't have a roommate who's a born-again Christian with a light class schedule.
Logistical problems.
Well, I'd be happy to let you use my deluxe accommodations.
Really? You don't mind? Absolutely not.
Only 20 bucks an hour.
For reservations, contact Wade.
We are booked for the next two weeks.
However, after finals I am expecting a lull.
Two weeks? I need the cash flow, bro.
I've got some debts to pay off.
Hold, please.
You can't get me in any sooner? Do you have triple A? Would that matter? - No.
Never mind, I'll just have to talk to Dale.
He's probably just finishing his Fruit Roll-Up.
Side effects may include nausea, blindness, decapitation, rectal oozing.
This is not a pharmaceutical study.
I know, I was just hiding behind witticism to mask the resentment of an unfulfilled childhood.
The intent of this experiment is to examine theories of behavioral psychology.
Tomorrow's experiment will begin with "the stroop" task.
I think I had "the stroop" once.
And we will be adding environmental stressors over time.
We're exploring the Gestalt perceptual laws of organization.
The test requires you to stay awake for 30 hours.
One of our psych lower-division undergrads will be with you for the duration of the test to supervise and record your responses.
Oh, I love being supervised and recorded.
We'll start tomorrow afternoon.
Be sure to bring plenty of food and liquids with you.
No alcohol.
Uh, it's wierd.
Most students can't resist a joke.
Clearly I'm not most students.
Clearly.
The student who will administer the test is participating for a grade, but understand this is a professional study.
You'll be expected to answer every question the administrator gives you.
You'll be given access to a bathroom, but that is it for 30 hours.
Ms.
Logan, please come meet your test subject.
This is case study 8675309.
Rob Thomas guy? - Actually, your subject's name is Unimportant.
Remember, Logan, we don't see things as they are.
We see things as we are.
I used to be a psych major.
Hey, Rus.
I finished your milk.
But I can get some more.
No problem.
Off to calculus? Parlin Hall, from 2:00 to 4:00? You know me well.
I kinda wanted to talk to you about something.
Oh, I gotta talk to you about something too.
Well, if I could go first Doreen Dresselhaus McCaw is coming to CRU! Dale, she's a nuclear physicist, not a rock star.
Uh, excuse me, but her work in proton emulsion has literally rocked the world.
Anyway, she's giving an open lecture tomorrow.
I thought we could go.
- Tomorrow? Sure.
That sounds fine.
- Great.
And then Maybe Perhaps I could possibly have the room Alone With Jen.
Oh.
I see.
Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem.
Really? Yeah, you know.
Love the sinner, hate the sin, right? Is that a yes? Yeah, just give me some notice.
I'll disappear.
- Wow! This really means a lot to me.
Thank you.
All right, buddy, tomorrow it is.
Just you, me, and Doreen Dresselhaus McCaw.
And it never occurred to you that in order to be pre-med, you might need to take some Actual Science classes? I did.
I took biology and chemistry, didn't I? - You didn't take chemistry.
Nor physics - Well, I figured those would start when I finished the pre part and got to the med.
Sorry.
- But what about my dream of becoming a gorgeous but troubled intern in a hospital full of other gorgeous interns discussing my love life while performing complex surgeries and hating my mother? Try the drama department.
Well, are Are there any exceptions? By the way, um, I'm not just saying this, but I love your glasses.
If you plan to graduate with any degree from this institution, you're going to need to complete a fifth year here at Cyprus-Rhodes.
I mean, with the way HMOs are cutting into profit margins, it just doesn't make sense for me to go into medicine anyway.
So I'm thinking pre-law, perhaps.
Regardless, I'm staying for a fifth year here at CRU! Yay! Isn't that great, Case? Yeah! Hey, let's get drinks to celebrate.
Are you really okay with this? My parents are gonna freak out when they find out they have to pay for a fifth year.
And of course that means I'm never gonna get to be An Izzy.
Or a Meredith.
I know.
I'm so sorry.
You know me so well.
I really need to think of something to keep my mind off things.
How about a spa weekend? I don't think so.
- How about we charter Rebecca's jet Yay.
It's all so empty.
Is there something you had in mind? I knew you'd understand.
I was thinking about running for "Omega Chi Sweetheart" again.
Oh.
Is that possible? Totally.
I've already checked into it, and as the formerly-crowned "Omega Chi Sweetheart" I have the right to run again.
So we'd be running against each other.
Wouldn't that be bad? - Yes.
It'd split the ZBZ vote.
And if that happens, you know who loses.
Zeta Beta Zeta? Exactly.
So what you're saying is I need to drop out of the Sweetheart race for the good of the house? I mean, if that's what you feel like you should do, I totally support you in that.
- But Frannie, what about the primaries? And all that stuff you said about New Hampshire and the ZBZ presidency? All that was just a theory.
You could still be president without being Omega Chi Sweetheart.
You just have to work a little harder.
That's all.
You know what? I'm feeling better already.
Hi.
- Hi.
So what's the process of removing myself from the running? Wait a minute.
Casey.
Are you sure you wanna do this? Frannie's my big sis.
She's done so much for me.
The advice, the encouragement.
And I admire your loyalty.
I do.
But you really wanted this.
Is it your fault that she's not graduating on time? It's complicated.
She's, like, my mentor and my friend.
Well, then you know what? This should just be some friendly competion.
She's had her time.
She needs to exit the stage gracefully, and Well, I shouldn't be telling you this.
She might not be the most popular ZBZ at the Omega Chi house.
You think I could beat Frannie? I don't know if you've noticed, but I have been running quite the campaign.
That's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
Casey.
Listen, Frannie's already had her reign.
All right? It's your turn now.
My weekend with the senator's daughter.
Sounds kinky.
We'll start with "the stroop" task.
The objective of this test is to measure your reaction time as it relates to your brain's unconscious.
So is this your major? I don't get credit for small talk.
Let's start the test, shall we? What is your hurry? We have all weekend.
Besides, I like to get to know my supervisor before I stroop her.
It really is an amazing word that can be used in many different ways.
Maybe it's time you start cooperating, or Or I'll tell everyone on campus your real name.
Name the color this word is written in.
Red.
Correct.
Rusty! I saved you A seat.
I didn't know you had an interest in nuclear fission, Jennifer.
Well, I figured if it was important to Rusty, that I should learn a little bit about it.
I see.
- Dale, do you mind if Jen and I sit together? No, sure.
That's a better seat up there anyway.
Ready, set! Hike! Yes! Nice play, Cartwright.
Hey, Frannie.
The guys are loving the smoothies.
Big hit.
So sweet of you to come out and support my campaign, Case.
Actually, I'm not here in support of your candidacy.
Then why are you here? Um.
I hope you understand.
But I've decided that I'm not going to drop out of the race.
Wait.
You're not dropping out? Not that I think I'll win or anything.
Of course not.
So why run? Um, you know, this is my junior year, and it's my only chance, since I'm going to graduate on time.
Not that I'm super-proud of that or anything.
I mean, a lot of people do fifth years.
It's common.
And if I should happen to win, that'd be better than losing to some Tri Pi, right? Yes, it would If I was planning on losing.
Good luck, sweetie.
Have you seen my milk? I just bought a half gallon yesterday.
No, sure haven't.
Why is my milk in the trash? Oh, that milk.
I thought that expired.
After one day? It's not even open.
Well, maybe you shouldn't buy such a big carton, so it doesn't take up so much room in the fridge.
We agreed to share the fridge though.
No, we did, but that means halvesies, not three-quartersies.
See, your milk crossed the border.
Okay.
Um, so Jen and I were thinking about using the room tomorrow night.
You know what, Rusty? That's That's not gonna work for me.
What about Sunday night? Now, that is really not gonna work for me.
But you said you were okay with it before.
You know I'm a complex individual.
I change my mind.
So what do you think? Which Which shoes? Well, you know, they always say you can never go wrong with a Peep Toe.
Who's they? I don't know.
I was just tryin' to help.
Again.
What would Frannie say? She seriously hasn't spoken one word to you since the game? I've seen her six times, and she just smiles and walks away.
This morning at breakfast she winked at me.
Well, that's scary.
- Yeah.
Have you - What? Uh Do you think that she's gonna wanna run for president? I can't read her.
I'm not sure if she's being passive-aggressive or just totally cool about all of this.
I have no idea where her head is.
There you are.
Hi.
Frannie.
Getting ready for the big night? Yeah, I was just trying to decide what shoes to wear.
Oh, definitely the Peep Toes.
Demure but inviting.
So how's the speech coming? All done.
I expect nothing less.
May the best woman win.
Oh, and don't be late.
If you miss the speeches, you're automatically disqualified.
Bye.
I can't believe you worked everything out with Dale.
Yeah, it's great.
Why is your stuff all piled up over here on the floor? I think Dale's cleaning or something.
The Dale tracker again? I thought you said you talked through all this.
Something's wrong with my computer.
Did you reboot it? That's weird, it says the signal is coming from Where? Inside the room.
Did you really think I wouldn't figure this out? GPS with a five-mile radius? Please.
Got milk, Rusty? Jen, you should go.
Um, okay.
Bye, Dale.
Rusty, call me.
Tell me what you see.
I see me taking a nap.
You can sleep when you're finished.
Answer the question.
Two triangles and three circles.
Wrong! There are no actual triangles or circles in the image.
Isn't there a rule that the supervisor has to avoid showing her personal feelings about the subject? Maybe.
This is my first class.
Well, there should be.
This is like being at a slumber party with Jack Bauer.
I know how hard you work to pretend nothing ever bothers you.
Stop.
I'll tell you where the nukes are.
Next topic, aural stimuli.
You wish.
I'm gonna play a sound, and you identify what it is.
First thing that pops in your mind.
Evan Chambers losing his allowance.
Oh, come on, that deserves a check.
But it's so much more fun to be wrong, isn't it? I don't know.
Is it? Little Miss Perfect has her Cinderella ball tonight.
Doesn't bother you that Casey picked another Prince Charming? I don't get paid for small talk.
- Uh-huh.
Should we get back to the test? I don't know anything about this.
Where's Frannie? She's not here, but he said your name's on the work order too.
This is Casey Cartwright.
I'm John the plumber.
A Frannie Morgan called earlier.
Said you needed some pipes replaced.
But tonight? They've been leaking for months.
Oh, she insisted.
Said it was an emergency.
It had to be taken care of today.
Uh, so I'm gonna need to shut this water off for a while.
Okay, well, uh, give us a few minutes to finish getting ready, and then it's all yours.
Well, I'm gonna need you or Miss Morgan here until I finish.
Your names are on the work order.
You gotta sign off.
It's company policy.
I told her that on the phone.
Well, how long did you tell her this was going to take? That depends on the condition of the pipes.
Uh, we could be here all night.
The Greek system at CRU is certainly not what it used to be.
You've seen the Kappa Tau house, right? Disgusting.
And those girls at Mu Gamma Pig Uh, what did I just say? I meant Sig.
Casey.
The speeches are about to start.
I was afraid you weren't going to make it.
Here I am.
The plumbing's all taken care of.
Great, I'm glad it wasn't as extensive as I thought.
No, it was exactly as extensive as you thought.
It would have taken all night, but it turns out Jen K's dad's a plumber, and she was able to help.
John the plumber actually offered her a job.
I hope you encouraged her to take it.
Hey, Frannie.
O'Toole! Great game the other day.
Travis says I don't know how to follow.
I'm a total follower.
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but, uh, Travis might be right.
Well, thanks for being my handsome escort for tonight.
I am lucky to have such a beautiful lady on my arm.
And my feet.
- Ooh-ooh.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
- Sorry.
So give me the dirt.
How's the Sweetheart race looking? Uh, my money's on Casey.
This is it! Come on in.
I heard about the honors engineering floor, but I thought it was a joke.
It's real.
Want something to drink? Yeah.
Sure.
Cool flag.
You English? Hey, Beaver, why don't you tell Dale how you got your name? Hey, Dale.
Dale.
All right, last test.
Emotions can have an important effect on perception.
Emotions play a larger role in perception under stress or extreme circumstances.
So what do you see? A dog.
Correct answer is cloud.
Who looks at a cloud and just sees a cloud? Me.
Look.
The dog's head's over there.
The legs are in the back.
It's a boy.
I don't see it.
Maybe you're projecting.
I always wanted a dog.
We moved around too much.
And chances are my parents would have accidentally killed it anyway.
I'm so tired, I feel drunk.
I am seriously on the verge of singing the Kenny Rogers songbook or making some embarrassing true confessions.
So why would your parents have accidentally killed the dog? Let's just say there wasn't an abundance of stability.
My parents are hippies with all kinds of great ideals, but they're not the most responsible people.
Got it.
You know what your problem is? - What? Perspective.
Come sit over here.
Look at it this way.
Come on.
It kind of looks like a bong.
Oddly enough, I don't see that.
I used to see everything in terms of whether it would piss off my parents.
Bongs did that.
You like to walk on the wild side, huh? Not anymore.
The whole out-of-control rich girl thing got to be a little too Lindsay Lohan-ish.
You know, you're not nearly as unpleasant as I thought you'd be, Logan.
I know.
You smell better than I thought you would.
What kind of hippies would name you Nah, shh.
Hippies with a finely-honed sense of irony.
Time's up.
This concludes our experiment.
Thanks to both of you.
Here is your compensation for participating.
Rebecca I'll see you in class on Tuesday.
Those are the real weapons of mass destruction.
Am I right? You guys are awesome.
Just remember, a vote for me is a vote against the terrorists.
God bless America! Frannie, can we please stop this? I know you're angry with me, so why don't we stop pretending? Pretending? I don't know what you're talking about.
Just because your plans changed, doesn't mean I should have to give up on everything I've worked so hard for.
Casey.
Can you please put your own political ambitions aside and think of someone other than yourself? You started all this.
And you knew how important this was to me.
But you wouldn't drop out.
I should have known you'd stop at nothing to get ahead.
After all, you took Evan back even though he cheated on you.
No! I didn't back up! Dale, what happened? Maybe some prankster hacked into the university power grid and shut you down.
And drained my battery so it wouldn't work, either? I'm going to have sex, Dale.
Deal with it.
This isn't about sex, Rusty.
- Then what? When school started, I thought you were this cool, smart engineering guy who understood the importance of things like comic-con and nuclear physics You're still talking about that stupid lecture? That stupid lecture was important to me, okay? And I thought it was important to you.
I thought that our friendship was more important.
We're not friends, Dale.
We're roommates.
Well, maybe you should find a new roommate.
Maybe I will.
When I came to Cyprus-Rhodes, I knew nothing about the Greek system.
At first glance it seemed like a great way to have fun.
What I quickly discovered was an incredible group of people who I will have a special bond with forever.
I wondered where that unconditional bond comes from.
What I've learned, thanks to some very special people in my life, is that, well, for me anyway, being Greek is about tradition.
And passing that tradition onto others.
That proud passing of the torch keeps the integrity of our Greek system alive.
It's our foundation.
I found someone who was selflessly willing to pass her legacy on to me.
Someone I see not only as a mentor, but as a friend.
But no matter what happens, till the day I die, I will always be sweet on the boys of Omega Chi.
Um, all right, you guys, it's time to cast the votes.
Okay.
Okay, the votes are in.
And the title of "Omega Chi Sweetheart" of 2007 goes to Casey Cartwright.
Oh, my Gosh.
At least that bitch didn't win again.
Too bad you have to live with her.
The best girl won.
Can you believe that Tri Pi and her "wardrobe malfunction?" Jen! Rusty! Oh, you should have seen Casey.
Casey, great.
Dale's out of control.
He hacked my power.
I lost my paper.
There's milk everywhere.
And - Um I'll catch up with you guys later.
Are you okay? You seem a little worked up.
Will you come back to my room and have sex with me in front of Dale? Rusty! - That's my only logical recourse.
Rusty, let it go.
If he doesn't want us in his room, then that's fine.
We'll figure something out.
Maybe I can put in a transfer to another room or something.
No, I'll do it.
- And leave Dale? You're willing to leave Stephanie.
Because she's an agoraphobe who scares me.
But Dale's a germaphobe who's constantly butting into my business.
And studying with you and going to lectures with you, and watching Planet Earth Yes.
And didn't he teach you how to play hockey and show up at your intramural game? Yes.
But he What about the volcano? He committed a crime for you.
There's no way we could have pulled that off without him.
I mean, without Dale, who knows if we'd even be together.
But he's a conservative, right-wing southern baptist with a confederate flag on the wall.
And you're a frat guy who is asking him to push his religious beliefs aside so that you can have sex with your girlfriend.
Yeah, you guys definitely have your differences, but when you add it all up, you and Dale are friends.
I'm exhausted.
At least you got paid.
But the knowledge you received was far more valuable.
Right.
You realize it was totally pointless.
The slides, the tests, all of it.
I'm not sure all of it was.
What happened in that room means nothing in the real world.
There is no real world.
Just two strangers picked to sit in a room and get their lives taped.
See ya around.
Hey! Okay, that's wonderful.
I'm awake now.
Sorry.
Look, Dale - I asked around and a couple other guys on this floor dropped out, so if you still wanna change rooms I don't wanna change rooms.
Unless you still want me to.
Maybe.
You know, you're right about Jen.
No appreciation for Doreen.
Yeah, well, few do.
Sometimes showing appreciation is a hard thing to do.
You mean like showing appreciation for me? Yes, I mean you.
So you mean you appreciate me.
Exactly.
You appreciate me like a good roommate? I appreciate you like a good friend.
So I bought some cookie dough for all that milk.
You want some? Nah, no thanks.
Cookie dough salmonella can kill you.
Good night, Rusty.
Good night, Dale.
Hey.
Hey.
Great speech tonight.
Really tugged on those heartstrings.
I tried to find you after the announcement, but I guess you'd already left.
I know when to make my exit.
Frannie.
I meant what I said.
We're friends, first and foremost.
What's on your mind? Al Gore.
I'm more of a Jake Gyllenhall girl myself.
No, I was actually thinking about how crazy it is that someone can win the popular vote, and still not be elected president.
Yeah.
That's pretty crazy.
Enjoy your win, poodle.
Doesn't last forever.
Don't stay up too late.
Guess I missed the fun.
This is for you.
It's from Cappie.
"Payback's a bitch, and so am I.
"Sorry you had to bail me out.
Cap.
"