Harlem (2021) s01e09 Episode Script
Secrets
1
A recent study found
that the average person
is holding 13 secrets,
five of which they've never
admitted to a living soul.
Tye, are sure you are
feeling up for this?
Yes, I feel good.
I was cooped up in the house
for a week.
So wait. Any word
from your husband?
- Um
- That's a sentence
I never thought
I would say to you.
Listen, it's all good.
He signed the divorce papers,
and he left, so
You good?
Question is, are you good?
I still think
you should be taking it easy.
Here we are!
Oh, well, now I think
we should get in.
That's what I'm talking about.
Okay, see our girl.
Oh, look at Angie.
You guys, I think that
this is gonna be really good.
- That was bad.
- That was really bad.
Like, really, really bad.
Dear God.
God ain't had nothing to do
with that mess.
Why would they change
the ending like that?
I mean, the brother dies and
the white girl gets redeemed?
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- You were so good.
- So good, girl.
- Great job.
- With your fine ass.
What do we tell her?
Not the truth.
We take this shit to the grave.
Right.
Thank you for coming.
Yes.
So
were y'all feeling it?
Girl, l-look, you
you was up there!
- Oh!
- You was up there, okay.
- Up.
- Yes.
And you stuck! Okay!
You know,
that beginning part
was music!
- For real?
- It was an experience.
- Yes.
- Ooh, I like that.
Y'all did
what y'all had to do!
Oh, I'm so happy.
Listen, I have a notes meeting
with the director.
- Ooh.
- I will be right back.
- Okay?
- Okay.
I have to go do
the actor things.
Maybe I should give
that director some notes.
I feel so bad. I've never
lied to her like this before.
- I forgot my bouquet.
- Ooh, yes, okay.
Love y'all so much.
This is beautiful.
Okay.
They all need to know.
Hey, get
that Tony Award, girl!
Bitch, you know
you done went too far.
I just wish
this could somehow keep
her career momentum going.
I mean, you know
how down she gets.
I know, but, you know,
maybe she can go with me
to the screening tonight.
I heard that the director
is supposed to be
the next big deal.
I mean, y'all can come, too.
I wish I could,
but I promised Shawn
that I was gonna babysit
J.J. tonight.
Wait.
You said a stripper
was a deal breaker,
then you said a stripper
with a kid
was the ultimate dealbreaker,
and now you're babysitting
aforementioned stripper's kid?
Oh, my gosh, can we just
change the subject?
No, you were the one who said
that you wanted us to take
your problems more seriously.
Okay, fine.
- I like him a lot
- Aw.
but his kid
doesn't like me a lot.
- Yikes.
- Everybody likes you.
Yeah, except for kids
and my mom.
Yeah.
But I just got to get this kid
to really, really like me,
or else sweet,
sweet Shawn will find out
that I don't have
one maternal bone in my body.
Then he's gonna
break up with me.
So, Cam, would you like to go
to the screening with me?
Uh, I can't.
I, um, have a-a meet-up
with someone.
Jameson?
No, um, Ian.
Wait, does Jameson know
that you're hanging with Ian?
I am helping him find art
for his restaurant
and I just don't want
to make it
into something
when it's nothing.
I don't think Ian texting you,
"Are we making a mistake?"
is nothing.
Oh, look the car is here.
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, there we go.
You just want to change
the subject when we trying
I am not changing
the subject.
I'm just saying
it's a nothing thing.
I mean, did you respond
to his text yet?
No, as usual,
I overanalyzed what to say
to the point of where
I didn't say anything at all,
and now too much time
has passed.
- For James?
- No.
Wrong Uber again.
He knew we weren't
no goddamn James.
Right.
It go in and out ♪
I-i-in and out,
i-i-in and out ♪
Hey, Cam, it's Jameson.
I'm picking up some Chinese.
Your place in an hour?
Pop that shit
if he pull it out ♪
It go in and out ♪
I-i-in and out,
i-i-in and out ♪
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
I wasn't doing anything.
Oh, I wasn't either.
So, um, look, thanks.
Thanks for doing this for me.
Thanks for an extra check.
You know, the student-loan debt
isn't gonna pay for itself.
- Oh, Louis! Salut.
- Hello.
Hey.
- So good to see you again.
- Oh!
Oh, someone's been pre-gaming?
I am excited to see the
Afro-American art of Harlem.
Uh, me too.
Shall we?
Yes, we shall.
Hey, wrap it up
before you go to sleep ♪
Ooh, Ace of the Coma.
That look like
the ace of hearts to me.
Yep, you should buy it.
You know, this is giving me,
like, two worlds colliding.
- You know?
- Mm-hmm, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Like, Paris, Harlem,
that's
Harlem.
Hmm.
A Tête à Tête. Hmm.
So, "Here the artist
has imagined a conversation
between Coretta Scott King
and Rosa Parks.
The red background evokes
the backdrop of bloodshed
that led both women
to take active roles
in the Civil Rights Movement."
Hmm. It's perfect.
You should take it.
It's two teacups.
How does that feel Harlem?
Well, um, because
what if the two women
had been in the same room,
what would they have said
to each other?
I'm pretty sure
they probably ran
in the same social circles.
But it's important,
and it's Harlem,
and you should take it.
You know, I feel like you
just rushing through this.
Are you uncomfortable?
Like, what's goin' on with you?
Nothing is going on.
This is me in in work.
You know, I'm in
I'm in work mode.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, Ian, I was there you are.
I have just seen the most
breathtaking piece of art.
It is a sculpture
that is shaped like a vulva.
Guess how much I paid for it.
- How much?
- $23,000.
- Wait a minute
- Oh.
Hey, I mean, it sounds nice,
but, you know,
I just don't know if a
if a vulva is really gonna
blend in with the other art.
No, no.
I bought it for myself.
- Oh.
- Did you and Josephine
find any art with local charm?
Yes, we did. We we actually
found a bunch of stuff.
I think we're
pretty much done.
We still got the art
to see upstairs, so
- Right.
- Great.
I'm gonna go grab my vulva,
and I'll meet you guys.
- Yep, let's
- All right.
check it out, okay.
Fuck.
How many floors
does this place have?
About four.
So you good?
Of course.
Look
Aren't we gonna have fun, J.J.?
Yay.
Look, it really means
the world to me
that you're cool
with watching him.
Oh, it is not even
a thing, okay?
He's important to you,
so he's important to me.
That's what I love about you.
That's what I love
about me, too.
- Yuck!
- Yuck!
Bye, guys.
Don't let him watch
that Kindle the whole time.
Oh, don't worry.
I got it.
Hey, and, J.J.,
listen to her, young man.
- She's in charge, okay?
- He's fine.
All right, bye, babe.
Bye. See you.
So, J.J.,
what do you want to do?
Okay, yeah,
you keep doing that
and I will
I'll be here watching you.
Okay, that's the end of that.
I'm not finished!
I know, but your dad said
that you cannot watch
this the whole time.
- Please.
- Oh, come on, J.J.
Don't you want to hang out
with just me?
No.
Okay, I get it.
Don't tell your dad.
Hey, J.J.,
do you maybe want to get out
of here and do something fun?
- Fun?
- Yeah.
- Who else is coming?
- I'm fun.
Come on, I promise.
- No! No!
- Yes!
Excuse me,
VIP coming through.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Hey, excuse me.
- Girl, give me my popcorn.
- Fine.
"An articulate masterpiece."
Um, what exactly
is this movie about?
I'm not quite sure,
but the critics say it's great.
I mean, people are saying
that Carter Washington,
the writer-director,
is basically, like,
the next Barry Jenkins.
"The next"?
That didn't last long enough.
Girl, you know they
always running us out.
Like there can be only one
Black person at a time.
I trust Jamie's judgement.
I mean, she only invests
in sure things.
Me, obviously, and this.
I mean, the film has only been
out for two seconds.
and Carter is already casting
for his next film.
Ooh, getting in that
could be huge.
Girl,
that's why I brought you
to meet him and to charm him.
Redundant, darling.
To meet me is to be charmed.
- I mean, that's right.
- Well, hold on.
Honey, the snack
is right here.
You sitting beside me, baby?
I baked you this Bible cake,
this cake of forgiveness.
Forgiveness
is a lot like cake.
Depending on how you cut it,
everybody don't always
want a piece.
It's okay.
She's choking on popcorn.
Sorry.
Are you crying right now?
You have the eyes
of who sees
This shit is trash.
- Shh, girl.
- Let's dip.
We are in the middle
of a row.
Men on the force do that.
So then let's dip
from the middle of the row.
Jamie is right behind us.
Girl, you owe me.
- Smile.
- Fine.
Hi, we're here.
Yes.
Send.
And girlfriend of the year.
All right.
Aren't we having
so much fun, J.J.?
- We just got here.
- Yes.
- Quinn, hey.
- Oh, gosh, you're still here.
I saw your story, and it
looked like a lot of fun.
Yeah, I like to come here
to blow off steam.
Who's this?
Oh, this is
my boyfriend's son, J.J.
We're just two bros
hanging out,
having a good time.
Right, J.J.?
Okay.
I'm just really trying
to get him back to his father
in one whole kid piece,
and him telling his dad
that he likes me
would not be a bad thing,
you get me?
- Why don't you join me?
- Oh, no, no, no.
We don't want to intrude.
I'm bowling alone.
How could you intrude?
Bowling alone?
That might be
the one sadder thing
than trying to buy
a kid's affection.
Yeah, well, all my friends
bailed early,
so I thought I'd throw
a few more, and here you are.
It's fate.
Sad, sad fate.
We'll do it.
Piggyback.
- Uh-uh.
- Okay. Well, I can just
No.
Fine. I will not touch you.
Do you want to granola bar?
- No.
- Okay, fine.
Let's just get a couple
of these nibbles and a swag bag
and be up out of here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Did you love it,
or did you love it?
Oh, Carter is definitely
one to watch.
He's a visionary.
And, you know,
this is my friend Angie,
she's also one to watch.
She just snatched her
a plum role
in Get Out: The Musical.
Oh, that's gonna be
a big hit.
Oh, yes, yes.
We just had a very successful
invited dress rehearsal.
Right, Tye?
Mm-hmm.
I was there.
Oh, that is
absolutely wonderful.
Y-you have to meet Carter.
Oh, yes.
You've got Carter.
- No, it's okay.
- Carter?
Come here.
This is Tye
and her good friend Angie,
who is in
Get Out: The Musical.
- Headed to Broadway, huh?
- Yes.
And Tye's app is one
of my best investments.
Mm, Jamie knows
how to pick 'em.
Oh, she sure does.
I'm glad you were able
to come out.
You know we got to support.
Got to put on for the culture.
- Yes, for the culture.
- That part.
For the culture, yes.
Mm-hmm.
Just one question
why did the mother make
her son's murderer a cake?
Angie.
Oh, I love when my work
sparks conversation.
Yeah, you tell her.
Tell her.
I wanted to make a movie
that didn't end in tragedy.
Rather than carry the weight
of anger and resentment,
she's chooses forgiveness.
Get it now?
I-it's one of the things
I loved
when Carter first brought me
the project, the levity.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yes. I just don't buy that
the mother forgives the cop,
bakes him a Bible cake, and,
uh, falls in love with him.
It can be difficult
for some people to comprehend.
Pardon me?
I'm not like your typical
Black filmmaker.
I have an eclectic sensibility,
and I've study the greats,
Kubrick and Dick Wolf.
You ain't special just because
you watch "Law & Order."
The shit is on all damn day.
You can't miss it.
And to be clear,
I understood your film.
I just think it's bad.
You are literally the only
person I have encountered
who doesn't love this film.
Oh, taking care
of your Negro, huh?
Well, congratulations
on being basic.
And thank you for the tickets
and the little swag bag.
Barry Jenkins, my ass.
- Cream puff, anyone?
- Uh, yeah.
All right.
Shall we paint the town red
like Billie Holiday?
I can't.
Then we shall bring
It's Camille,
and I'm fine.
Look, don't be stubborn.
We'll take you home.
I'm not being stubborn.
I'm perfectly capable of
getting my own transportation.
Shit.
Look, we'll have you home
in ten minutes, promise.
All right?
Come on.
Okay, yes, but only
'cause I'm running late.
Uh, first stop is 121st
and Morningside.
Got it.
Mr. Ice Bags, go ahead
and turn the heat on, man.
No heat.
Are sure you're okay?
I mean,
it seemed like we're okay.
Yeah, totally okay.
Okay.
I'm just worried that my text
might've made
the night a little weird.
What?
What text?
No, your quiet voice
is making this weird.
You know, 'cause I was talking
about us working together.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, was working together
a mistake?
Right. Yeah, of course.
No, no, no mistake.
You know,
t-this was easy.
We did it good
together, doing that thing.
- Whatever you say.
- What's that supposed to mean?
It means I'm agreeing with you.
It's a good thing.
Yeah, because, you know,
I just need to get home.
I have to meet up
with Jameson.
Hmm, the boyfriend.
What?
I know you want to say
some slick shit.
I don't want to say
no slick shit
about Slim Jim, bare chest,
chicken leg-looking ass.
I'm just kidding.
Look, I'm happy for you.
Honestly.
I mean, you deserve love.
Um, sir, I'm sorry,
you just passed my street,
but it's okay 'cause you can
just let me hop out right here.
Hello?
Yo, shut the fuck up.
Bro, don't talk to her
like that.
Yo, who are you?
Her attorney?
You deserve love.
Shut up, Dr. Phil.
Fat-ass Craig Robinson got
some jokes up there, huh?
Nigga, you lucky
I'm with my girl,
otherwise I'd handle
I didn't mean it
like that, boo.
Fuck, I just did this
in an Uber.
Are you sure we got
in the right car?
Louis, this is your car, right?
Something's wrong.
Hey, just go ahead
and pull over,
and we'll we'll go on
about our business
- Oh!
- Hey! Whoa!
Say one more thing,
I'm gonna light your ass up
- like Times Square.
- I was just kidding
about that
Craig Robinson thing, dog.
- Oh, no, no.
- I I didn't mean it..
- That hurt.
- Get off me.
Oh, shit! You got a phone.
Everybody's got a phone.
Come on, hand 'em over.
- All right, man, just chill.
- Here, here, here.
- His too.
- Yeah, yeah.
If you look at the photos,
don't judge.
Samsung?
You make more money
than that, man.
And don't do nothing
stupid either,
'cause y'all look stupid.
Fucking stupid, stupider,
and stupidest.
She's on fire ♪
Damn right, she's on fire ♪
All right, lets bowl.
Let me do this!
God, he hates me.
You're crazy.
I grew up
with four little brothers.
Boys just want to do it
all themselves.
- Dumb boys.
- Who you telling?
Bad luck with men, too?
Huh?
Oh, I assumed you knew.
I'm gay.
Oh.
Cool.
Good job, J.J.!
Can I get another chance?
Yeah, of course,
you get two chances, bud.
You just got to wait
for the ball to come back.
- Our food is here.
- Okay.
All right.
See you in a bit.
- Okay.
- I'm watching.
Oh, God,
he's so bad at bowling.
I hope I didn't
freak you out.
What?
Why would that freak me out?
No, please,
one of my best friends is gay.
Oh, my God,
did I literally just say that?
- You're fine.
- Sorry.
You know your mom tried
to set me up with someone?
What?
A 56-year old art therapist
and I'm guessing, like,
the only lesbian she knows.
My aunt Peg.
She set you up
with my aunt Peg.
Oh, my God.
Gay or straight, my mom is
absolutely horrible at fix-ups.
The last guy that she set me up
with,
she swore he was gonna be
my husband.
Asked me for money
on the first date.
No, he didn't.
She's terrible,
I'm telling you.
You think it'd be easier
for two attractive women
who have their shit together
to find partners.
Amen.
But, I mean, look at you.
You must
you must get dates
all the time.
Confession time?
This was supposed to be a date,
but she stood me up.
The only reason
I posted that story
was because I think she forgot,
and if she saw it,
it would remind her.
Oh, no! Why didn't you
just call her?
I did
like, six times.
- And I texted her.
- Oh.
- Yeah. I'm a loser.
- Sorry.
No.
Oh, no, you are not.
That's the last thing you are.
It's her loss.
Can I please have
another soda?
Yeah.
I'll get you another one.
You stay there,
and I'll get it, okay?
Two sodas,
he's got to love me.
Of course.
You're freakin' lovable.
All you had to do
was say something nice,
but you just couldn't
help yourself, could you?
I asked a simple question.
You bashed
a Black filmmaker
I didn't bash him.
You overexaggerating.
in front of his
very white producer.
You know how hard it is
for Black people
to get something made?
And then to have
an investor believe in you
and want to help you,
when the whole world
don't want to see you succeed.
- I was just keeping it real.
- Oh-ho-ho.
You're gonna be keeping it
real unemployed.
That's what you gonna do.
You want to curse out
every gatekeeper
in the name
of "keeping it real," for what?
You want to win,
you play the game.
That's what I was trying to do
before you came
and fucked my shit up.
Okay, if playing the game
means I have
to stand problematic art,
then count me out.
We need to tell the truth.
- Oh, the truth?
- Yes.
Black art deserves criticized
just like every other art form.
That's how we get better.
Oh, okay,
Miss That's How We Get Better.
You want criticism?
Here you go.
Get Out: The Musical was bad.
It was horrific.
But y'all said
Oh, we were not trying
to hurt your feelings.
That's what friends do.
Lying to me does not make me
look better.
It makes me look stupid!
I knew I shouldn't have did
this shit!
See, some things are
just better left unsaid.
Like you kept a whole husband
to yourself?
Since we're giving out
constructive criticism,
just a note
not my marriage,
but some random dude pops up,
cosigns a surgery,
and then just disappears like
some sort of magical Negro.
What the fuck was that?
Okay.
Low blow,
but I get it.
It was a long time ago,
I'm a different Tye now.
It seems like there's a bunch
of different Tyes.
We've been hanging out
with you since college,
and there's still so much
about you we do not know.
Look, I'm sorry.
The divorce papers
are signed.
Brandon is gone. I'm closing
that chapter of my life.
And I promise,
from here on out,
no more secrets.
So how many men
have you slept with?
Angie, none.
Bitch, just give me a ballpark.
You lying.
Should we go back
to your place, get some food?
No, I'm wiped out.
I'm just gonna go home
and go to bed.
Hey! Good job!
Well done!
Balenciaga brought it back,
and all these bitches fucked ♪
It's big bags bustin' out
the Bentley bad ♪
Take 'em, man, Birkin bag,
Bardi back ♪
And all you bitches fucked ♪
If it's up, then it's up,
then it's up ♪
Oh!
Then it's up,
then it's stuck, huh ♪
Up, then it's up,
if it's up, then it's stuck ♪
If it's up, then it's up ♪
Then it's up,
then it's stuck, huh ♪
Oh, my God.
We actually got it.
They probably not,
If I had a dick ♪
You'd probably lick it
like a lollipop ♪
Yuck!
Oh, J.J., um,
look what we got for you.
Get down the stairs.
- Where are we?
- Shit, I don't know.
So you think this is
about drugs or sex trafficking?
Oh, my God, sex trafficking
is my worst nightmare.
Okay, something tells me
you don't have to worry
about that so much.
That's sexist, Camille.
Man, shut the fuck up
and keep walking.
And don't nobody want to
have sex with you anyway.
- I think you're very sexable.
- Man, shut up!
- I think you are sexable, too.
- Aw, thanks.
I bought a Peloton.
- Did we time-travel?
- Get your ass
Ooh, I can use a nice cocktail.
Louis, Louis.
Go upstairs, go upstairs.
So so this is
a long-distance robbery.
He could've just robbed us
back in Harlem.
I'm guessing he wanted
to avoid the cameras.
Get your ass in there.
All right,
clear out the accounts.
What? I-I can't.
- What?
- I mean, in this day and age,
it doesn't really work
like that because of situations
like the one
we're literally in right now.
Yeah, I mean, you can only
get out, like, $500 a time.
I mean, I can't even
get that much right now
'cause the way
my account is set up.
You know, I got one of them
them RushCards, so
You got RushCard?
It was a free trial.
I couldn't pass it up.
Okay, how much
can I get from you right now?
Um, maybe, like, 350 each?
350?
I got, like, 200.
Get it.
Get your 200 out.
- You stand right there.
- Yep.
- There you go.
- Standing.
What are doing
with this clown?
Uh
You look good tonight.
- I mean, your skin is amazing.
- Thank you.
Give me that.
All right, stand back.
Stand over here.
Go ahead, princess.
It's your turn, beautiful.
Take your money out.
Feeling like big man with
that gun in your hand, huh?
Yeah, thanks for noticing.
All right, get in
No, go that way, mother
Get in there.
Get your ass in there, boy.
You got your money.
Now please let us go.
What, so you can call
the cops?
That's not how
this night's gonna end.
We have to get out of here.
Shit, it's sealed shut.
- Shit.
- Try to hop through the vent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.
Step up.
Okay, you know what? This
isn't Mission Impossible, okay?
And we both know my ass is not
gonna fit in that small hole.
This is what happens
when you lie.
These are the consequences
death in the middle
of nowhere
in a Prohibition-era brothel.
What you mean, lie?
What are you talking about?
I lied to Jameson
about meeting up with you.
Well, I didn't tell Mira
about us
meeting today either.
Why?
I don't know.
It just seemed like it was
difficult to explain, you know.
Ian, are we gonna die?
If Dateline has taught me
anything
yeah.
So this is it.
This is how
Miss Doctor Camille Parks
leaves this earth.
I always thought
that I would be surrounded
by friends and family
Prince playing
in the background.
You know,
you always liked Prince.
Yeah.
You never answered my text.
How could you never
answer my text?
Your work text?
You know it wasn't about work.
I just want things to be
less awkward between us
you know, like we used to be.
It's like a
it's like a soufflé
that fell a little bit,
and every time I try to fix it,
I just
fuck it up.
Yeah.
Camille, I still love you.
I never stopped.
- Oh, my God!
- Come here, come here.
I got you.
I got you.
Oh, there you are.
Oh!
I've missed you guys.
What happened?
Oh, he took all the money from
my cards, and then he left.
But, luckily, he underestimated
the value of the vulva.
Let's get the hell
out of here.
Yeah, yeah.
Then go up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
Up and down, up and down ♪
Hey.
Hey.
What happened?
Ah
dinner with Angie
turned into drinks.
Drinks turned to more drinks,
and there was a lot of drinks.
I'm sorry I didn't call,
I left my phone in the Uber.
Is Angie good?
'Cause I know you're not good
unless your friends are good.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, she's
figuring it out.
You know?
Sometimes it hard to tell
if you're making
the right decision.
Well, she should trust
her gut.
It'll never steer you wrong.
There are two ways
to be unburdened
by the weight of a secret.
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
You can make
the choice to disclose it
Higher ♪
Till you're feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
or you can wait
until it exposes itself.
Yo, Brandon,
how you doing?
I'm awesome.
Great. And did you get a chance
to sign those divorce papers?
- No, not yet.
- Is that my table from the
Oh yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Just trying to make
your guest room feel like home.
It has been
a really long night.
Either way, the truth
will set you free
right?
Hooks on hooks on hooks
like hey ♪
You want to just
call me captain ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Then you're feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Then you're feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Till you feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
One minute I feel shit ♪
Next minute I'm the shit ♪
It get under my skin ♪
Kind of just like a tick ♪
Some people make me sick ♪
I'ma just bite my fist ♪
I'ma just wet my wrist ♪
Fuck a nigga till he limp ♪
This doesn't need
a caption ♪
I'm a real bitch,
you half one ♪
Hate all you want,
lil bitch, these bands I got ♪
You won't get a fraction ♪
I'm sorry
that you're lost, boy ♪
I'ma go down like Jackson ♪
Hooks on hooks on hooks
like hey ♪
You want to just
call me captain ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Then you feeling low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
A recent study found
that the average person
is holding 13 secrets,
five of which they've never
admitted to a living soul.
Tye, are sure you are
feeling up for this?
Yes, I feel good.
I was cooped up in the house
for a week.
So wait. Any word
from your husband?
- Um
- That's a sentence
I never thought
I would say to you.
Listen, it's all good.
He signed the divorce papers,
and he left, so
You good?
Question is, are you good?
I still think
you should be taking it easy.
Here we are!
Oh, well, now I think
we should get in.
That's what I'm talking about.
Okay, see our girl.
Oh, look at Angie.
You guys, I think that
this is gonna be really good.
- That was bad.
- That was really bad.
Like, really, really bad.
Dear God.
God ain't had nothing to do
with that mess.
Why would they change
the ending like that?
I mean, the brother dies and
the white girl gets redeemed?
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- You were so good.
- So good, girl.
- Great job.
- With your fine ass.
What do we tell her?
Not the truth.
We take this shit to the grave.
Right.
Thank you for coming.
Yes.
So
were y'all feeling it?
Girl, l-look, you
you was up there!
- Oh!
- You was up there, okay.
- Up.
- Yes.
And you stuck! Okay!
You know,
that beginning part
was music!
- For real?
- It was an experience.
- Yes.
- Ooh, I like that.
Y'all did
what y'all had to do!
Oh, I'm so happy.
Listen, I have a notes meeting
with the director.
- Ooh.
- I will be right back.
- Okay?
- Okay.
I have to go do
the actor things.
Maybe I should give
that director some notes.
I feel so bad. I've never
lied to her like this before.
- I forgot my bouquet.
- Ooh, yes, okay.
Love y'all so much.
This is beautiful.
Okay.
They all need to know.
Hey, get
that Tony Award, girl!
Bitch, you know
you done went too far.
I just wish
this could somehow keep
her career momentum going.
I mean, you know
how down she gets.
I know, but, you know,
maybe she can go with me
to the screening tonight.
I heard that the director
is supposed to be
the next big deal.
I mean, y'all can come, too.
I wish I could,
but I promised Shawn
that I was gonna babysit
J.J. tonight.
Wait.
You said a stripper
was a deal breaker,
then you said a stripper
with a kid
was the ultimate dealbreaker,
and now you're babysitting
aforementioned stripper's kid?
Oh, my gosh, can we just
change the subject?
No, you were the one who said
that you wanted us to take
your problems more seriously.
Okay, fine.
- I like him a lot
- Aw.
but his kid
doesn't like me a lot.
- Yikes.
- Everybody likes you.
Yeah, except for kids
and my mom.
Yeah.
But I just got to get this kid
to really, really like me,
or else sweet,
sweet Shawn will find out
that I don't have
one maternal bone in my body.
Then he's gonna
break up with me.
So, Cam, would you like to go
to the screening with me?
Uh, I can't.
I, um, have a-a meet-up
with someone.
Jameson?
No, um, Ian.
Wait, does Jameson know
that you're hanging with Ian?
I am helping him find art
for his restaurant
and I just don't want
to make it
into something
when it's nothing.
I don't think Ian texting you,
"Are we making a mistake?"
is nothing.
Oh, look the car is here.
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, there we go.
You just want to change
the subject when we trying
I am not changing
the subject.
I'm just saying
it's a nothing thing.
I mean, did you respond
to his text yet?
No, as usual,
I overanalyzed what to say
to the point of where
I didn't say anything at all,
and now too much time
has passed.
- For James?
- No.
Wrong Uber again.
He knew we weren't
no goddamn James.
Right.
It go in and out ♪
I-i-in and out,
i-i-in and out ♪
Hey, Cam, it's Jameson.
I'm picking up some Chinese.
Your place in an hour?
Pop that shit
if he pull it out ♪
It go in and out ♪
I-i-in and out,
i-i-in and out ♪
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
I wasn't doing anything.
Oh, I wasn't either.
So, um, look, thanks.
Thanks for doing this for me.
Thanks for an extra check.
You know, the student-loan debt
isn't gonna pay for itself.
- Oh, Louis! Salut.
- Hello.
Hey.
- So good to see you again.
- Oh!
Oh, someone's been pre-gaming?
I am excited to see the
Afro-American art of Harlem.
Uh, me too.
Shall we?
Yes, we shall.
Hey, wrap it up
before you go to sleep ♪
Ooh, Ace of the Coma.
That look like
the ace of hearts to me.
Yep, you should buy it.
You know, this is giving me,
like, two worlds colliding.
- You know?
- Mm-hmm, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Like, Paris, Harlem,
that's
Harlem.
Hmm.
A Tête à Tête. Hmm.
So, "Here the artist
has imagined a conversation
between Coretta Scott King
and Rosa Parks.
The red background evokes
the backdrop of bloodshed
that led both women
to take active roles
in the Civil Rights Movement."
Hmm. It's perfect.
You should take it.
It's two teacups.
How does that feel Harlem?
Well, um, because
what if the two women
had been in the same room,
what would they have said
to each other?
I'm pretty sure
they probably ran
in the same social circles.
But it's important,
and it's Harlem,
and you should take it.
You know, I feel like you
just rushing through this.
Are you uncomfortable?
Like, what's goin' on with you?
Nothing is going on.
This is me in in work.
You know, I'm in
I'm in work mode.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, Ian, I was there you are.
I have just seen the most
breathtaking piece of art.
It is a sculpture
that is shaped like a vulva.
Guess how much I paid for it.
- How much?
- $23,000.
- Wait a minute
- Oh.
Hey, I mean, it sounds nice,
but, you know,
I just don't know if a
if a vulva is really gonna
blend in with the other art.
No, no.
I bought it for myself.
- Oh.
- Did you and Josephine
find any art with local charm?
Yes, we did. We we actually
found a bunch of stuff.
I think we're
pretty much done.
We still got the art
to see upstairs, so
- Right.
- Great.
I'm gonna go grab my vulva,
and I'll meet you guys.
- Yep, let's
- All right.
check it out, okay.
Fuck.
How many floors
does this place have?
About four.
So you good?
Of course.
Look
Aren't we gonna have fun, J.J.?
Yay.
Look, it really means
the world to me
that you're cool
with watching him.
Oh, it is not even
a thing, okay?
He's important to you,
so he's important to me.
That's what I love about you.
That's what I love
about me, too.
- Yuck!
- Yuck!
Bye, guys.
Don't let him watch
that Kindle the whole time.
Oh, don't worry.
I got it.
Hey, and, J.J.,
listen to her, young man.
- She's in charge, okay?
- He's fine.
All right, bye, babe.
Bye. See you.
So, J.J.,
what do you want to do?
Okay, yeah,
you keep doing that
and I will
I'll be here watching you.
Okay, that's the end of that.
I'm not finished!
I know, but your dad said
that you cannot watch
this the whole time.
- Please.
- Oh, come on, J.J.
Don't you want to hang out
with just me?
No.
Okay, I get it.
Don't tell your dad.
Hey, J.J.,
do you maybe want to get out
of here and do something fun?
- Fun?
- Yeah.
- Who else is coming?
- I'm fun.
Come on, I promise.
- No! No!
- Yes!
Excuse me,
VIP coming through.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Hey, excuse me.
- Girl, give me my popcorn.
- Fine.
"An articulate masterpiece."
Um, what exactly
is this movie about?
I'm not quite sure,
but the critics say it's great.
I mean, people are saying
that Carter Washington,
the writer-director,
is basically, like,
the next Barry Jenkins.
"The next"?
That didn't last long enough.
Girl, you know they
always running us out.
Like there can be only one
Black person at a time.
I trust Jamie's judgement.
I mean, she only invests
in sure things.
Me, obviously, and this.
I mean, the film has only been
out for two seconds.
and Carter is already casting
for his next film.
Ooh, getting in that
could be huge.
Girl,
that's why I brought you
to meet him and to charm him.
Redundant, darling.
To meet me is to be charmed.
- I mean, that's right.
- Well, hold on.
Honey, the snack
is right here.
You sitting beside me, baby?
I baked you this Bible cake,
this cake of forgiveness.
Forgiveness
is a lot like cake.
Depending on how you cut it,
everybody don't always
want a piece.
It's okay.
She's choking on popcorn.
Sorry.
Are you crying right now?
You have the eyes
of who sees
This shit is trash.
- Shh, girl.
- Let's dip.
We are in the middle
of a row.
Men on the force do that.
So then let's dip
from the middle of the row.
Jamie is right behind us.
Girl, you owe me.
- Smile.
- Fine.
Hi, we're here.
Yes.
Send.
And girlfriend of the year.
All right.
Aren't we having
so much fun, J.J.?
- We just got here.
- Yes.
- Quinn, hey.
- Oh, gosh, you're still here.
I saw your story, and it
looked like a lot of fun.
Yeah, I like to come here
to blow off steam.
Who's this?
Oh, this is
my boyfriend's son, J.J.
We're just two bros
hanging out,
having a good time.
Right, J.J.?
Okay.
I'm just really trying
to get him back to his father
in one whole kid piece,
and him telling his dad
that he likes me
would not be a bad thing,
you get me?
- Why don't you join me?
- Oh, no, no, no.
We don't want to intrude.
I'm bowling alone.
How could you intrude?
Bowling alone?
That might be
the one sadder thing
than trying to buy
a kid's affection.
Yeah, well, all my friends
bailed early,
so I thought I'd throw
a few more, and here you are.
It's fate.
Sad, sad fate.
We'll do it.
Piggyback.
- Uh-uh.
- Okay. Well, I can just
No.
Fine. I will not touch you.
Do you want to granola bar?
- No.
- Okay, fine.
Let's just get a couple
of these nibbles and a swag bag
and be up out of here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Did you love it,
or did you love it?
Oh, Carter is definitely
one to watch.
He's a visionary.
And, you know,
this is my friend Angie,
she's also one to watch.
She just snatched her
a plum role
in Get Out: The Musical.
Oh, that's gonna be
a big hit.
Oh, yes, yes.
We just had a very successful
invited dress rehearsal.
Right, Tye?
Mm-hmm.
I was there.
Oh, that is
absolutely wonderful.
Y-you have to meet Carter.
Oh, yes.
You've got Carter.
- No, it's okay.
- Carter?
Come here.
This is Tye
and her good friend Angie,
who is in
Get Out: The Musical.
- Headed to Broadway, huh?
- Yes.
And Tye's app is one
of my best investments.
Mm, Jamie knows
how to pick 'em.
Oh, she sure does.
I'm glad you were able
to come out.
You know we got to support.
Got to put on for the culture.
- Yes, for the culture.
- That part.
For the culture, yes.
Mm-hmm.
Just one question
why did the mother make
her son's murderer a cake?
Angie.
Oh, I love when my work
sparks conversation.
Yeah, you tell her.
Tell her.
I wanted to make a movie
that didn't end in tragedy.
Rather than carry the weight
of anger and resentment,
she's chooses forgiveness.
Get it now?
I-it's one of the things
I loved
when Carter first brought me
the project, the levity.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yes. I just don't buy that
the mother forgives the cop,
bakes him a Bible cake, and,
uh, falls in love with him.
It can be difficult
for some people to comprehend.
Pardon me?
I'm not like your typical
Black filmmaker.
I have an eclectic sensibility,
and I've study the greats,
Kubrick and Dick Wolf.
You ain't special just because
you watch "Law & Order."
The shit is on all damn day.
You can't miss it.
And to be clear,
I understood your film.
I just think it's bad.
You are literally the only
person I have encountered
who doesn't love this film.
Oh, taking care
of your Negro, huh?
Well, congratulations
on being basic.
And thank you for the tickets
and the little swag bag.
Barry Jenkins, my ass.
- Cream puff, anyone?
- Uh, yeah.
All right.
Shall we paint the town red
like Billie Holiday?
I can't.
Then we shall bring
It's Camille,
and I'm fine.
Look, don't be stubborn.
We'll take you home.
I'm not being stubborn.
I'm perfectly capable of
getting my own transportation.
Shit.
Look, we'll have you home
in ten minutes, promise.
All right?
Come on.
Okay, yes, but only
'cause I'm running late.
Uh, first stop is 121st
and Morningside.
Got it.
Mr. Ice Bags, go ahead
and turn the heat on, man.
No heat.
Are sure you're okay?
I mean,
it seemed like we're okay.
Yeah, totally okay.
Okay.
I'm just worried that my text
might've made
the night a little weird.
What?
What text?
No, your quiet voice
is making this weird.
You know, 'cause I was talking
about us working together.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, was working together
a mistake?
Right. Yeah, of course.
No, no, no mistake.
You know,
t-this was easy.
We did it good
together, doing that thing.
- Whatever you say.
- What's that supposed to mean?
It means I'm agreeing with you.
It's a good thing.
Yeah, because, you know,
I just need to get home.
I have to meet up
with Jameson.
Hmm, the boyfriend.
What?
I know you want to say
some slick shit.
I don't want to say
no slick shit
about Slim Jim, bare chest,
chicken leg-looking ass.
I'm just kidding.
Look, I'm happy for you.
Honestly.
I mean, you deserve love.
Um, sir, I'm sorry,
you just passed my street,
but it's okay 'cause you can
just let me hop out right here.
Hello?
Yo, shut the fuck up.
Bro, don't talk to her
like that.
Yo, who are you?
Her attorney?
You deserve love.
Shut up, Dr. Phil.
Fat-ass Craig Robinson got
some jokes up there, huh?
Nigga, you lucky
I'm with my girl,
otherwise I'd handle
I didn't mean it
like that, boo.
Fuck, I just did this
in an Uber.
Are you sure we got
in the right car?
Louis, this is your car, right?
Something's wrong.
Hey, just go ahead
and pull over,
and we'll we'll go on
about our business
- Oh!
- Hey! Whoa!
Say one more thing,
I'm gonna light your ass up
- like Times Square.
- I was just kidding
about that
Craig Robinson thing, dog.
- Oh, no, no.
- I I didn't mean it..
- That hurt.
- Get off me.
Oh, shit! You got a phone.
Everybody's got a phone.
Come on, hand 'em over.
- All right, man, just chill.
- Here, here, here.
- His too.
- Yeah, yeah.
If you look at the photos,
don't judge.
Samsung?
You make more money
than that, man.
And don't do nothing
stupid either,
'cause y'all look stupid.
Fucking stupid, stupider,
and stupidest.
She's on fire ♪
Damn right, she's on fire ♪
All right, lets bowl.
Let me do this!
God, he hates me.
You're crazy.
I grew up
with four little brothers.
Boys just want to do it
all themselves.
- Dumb boys.
- Who you telling?
Bad luck with men, too?
Huh?
Oh, I assumed you knew.
I'm gay.
Oh.
Cool.
Good job, J.J.!
Can I get another chance?
Yeah, of course,
you get two chances, bud.
You just got to wait
for the ball to come back.
- Our food is here.
- Okay.
All right.
See you in a bit.
- Okay.
- I'm watching.
Oh, God,
he's so bad at bowling.
I hope I didn't
freak you out.
What?
Why would that freak me out?
No, please,
one of my best friends is gay.
Oh, my God,
did I literally just say that?
- You're fine.
- Sorry.
You know your mom tried
to set me up with someone?
What?
A 56-year old art therapist
and I'm guessing, like,
the only lesbian she knows.
My aunt Peg.
She set you up
with my aunt Peg.
Oh, my God.
Gay or straight, my mom is
absolutely horrible at fix-ups.
The last guy that she set me up
with,
she swore he was gonna be
my husband.
Asked me for money
on the first date.
No, he didn't.
She's terrible,
I'm telling you.
You think it'd be easier
for two attractive women
who have their shit together
to find partners.
Amen.
But, I mean, look at you.
You must
you must get dates
all the time.
Confession time?
This was supposed to be a date,
but she stood me up.
The only reason
I posted that story
was because I think she forgot,
and if she saw it,
it would remind her.
Oh, no! Why didn't you
just call her?
I did
like, six times.
- And I texted her.
- Oh.
- Yeah. I'm a loser.
- Sorry.
No.
Oh, no, you are not.
That's the last thing you are.
It's her loss.
Can I please have
another soda?
Yeah.
I'll get you another one.
You stay there,
and I'll get it, okay?
Two sodas,
he's got to love me.
Of course.
You're freakin' lovable.
All you had to do
was say something nice,
but you just couldn't
help yourself, could you?
I asked a simple question.
You bashed
a Black filmmaker
I didn't bash him.
You overexaggerating.
in front of his
very white producer.
You know how hard it is
for Black people
to get something made?
And then to have
an investor believe in you
and want to help you,
when the whole world
don't want to see you succeed.
- I was just keeping it real.
- Oh-ho-ho.
You're gonna be keeping it
real unemployed.
That's what you gonna do.
You want to curse out
every gatekeeper
in the name
of "keeping it real," for what?
You want to win,
you play the game.
That's what I was trying to do
before you came
and fucked my shit up.
Okay, if playing the game
means I have
to stand problematic art,
then count me out.
We need to tell the truth.
- Oh, the truth?
- Yes.
Black art deserves criticized
just like every other art form.
That's how we get better.
Oh, okay,
Miss That's How We Get Better.
You want criticism?
Here you go.
Get Out: The Musical was bad.
It was horrific.
But y'all said
Oh, we were not trying
to hurt your feelings.
That's what friends do.
Lying to me does not make me
look better.
It makes me look stupid!
I knew I shouldn't have did
this shit!
See, some things are
just better left unsaid.
Like you kept a whole husband
to yourself?
Since we're giving out
constructive criticism,
just a note
not my marriage,
but some random dude pops up,
cosigns a surgery,
and then just disappears like
some sort of magical Negro.
What the fuck was that?
Okay.
Low blow,
but I get it.
It was a long time ago,
I'm a different Tye now.
It seems like there's a bunch
of different Tyes.
We've been hanging out
with you since college,
and there's still so much
about you we do not know.
Look, I'm sorry.
The divorce papers
are signed.
Brandon is gone. I'm closing
that chapter of my life.
And I promise,
from here on out,
no more secrets.
So how many men
have you slept with?
Angie, none.
Bitch, just give me a ballpark.
You lying.
Should we go back
to your place, get some food?
No, I'm wiped out.
I'm just gonna go home
and go to bed.
Hey! Good job!
Well done!
Balenciaga brought it back,
and all these bitches fucked ♪
It's big bags bustin' out
the Bentley bad ♪
Take 'em, man, Birkin bag,
Bardi back ♪
And all you bitches fucked ♪
If it's up, then it's up,
then it's up ♪
Oh!
Then it's up,
then it's stuck, huh ♪
Up, then it's up,
if it's up, then it's stuck ♪
If it's up, then it's up ♪
Then it's up,
then it's stuck, huh ♪
Oh, my God.
We actually got it.
They probably not,
If I had a dick ♪
You'd probably lick it
like a lollipop ♪
Yuck!
Oh, J.J., um,
look what we got for you.
Get down the stairs.
- Where are we?
- Shit, I don't know.
So you think this is
about drugs or sex trafficking?
Oh, my God, sex trafficking
is my worst nightmare.
Okay, something tells me
you don't have to worry
about that so much.
That's sexist, Camille.
Man, shut the fuck up
and keep walking.
And don't nobody want to
have sex with you anyway.
- I think you're very sexable.
- Man, shut up!
- I think you are sexable, too.
- Aw, thanks.
I bought a Peloton.
- Did we time-travel?
- Get your ass
Ooh, I can use a nice cocktail.
Louis, Louis.
Go upstairs, go upstairs.
So so this is
a long-distance robbery.
He could've just robbed us
back in Harlem.
I'm guessing he wanted
to avoid the cameras.
Get your ass in there.
All right,
clear out the accounts.
What? I-I can't.
- What?
- I mean, in this day and age,
it doesn't really work
like that because of situations
like the one
we're literally in right now.
Yeah, I mean, you can only
get out, like, $500 a time.
I mean, I can't even
get that much right now
'cause the way
my account is set up.
You know, I got one of them
them RushCards, so
You got RushCard?
It was a free trial.
I couldn't pass it up.
Okay, how much
can I get from you right now?
Um, maybe, like, 350 each?
350?
I got, like, 200.
Get it.
Get your 200 out.
- You stand right there.
- Yep.
- There you go.
- Standing.
What are doing
with this clown?
Uh
You look good tonight.
- I mean, your skin is amazing.
- Thank you.
Give me that.
All right, stand back.
Stand over here.
Go ahead, princess.
It's your turn, beautiful.
Take your money out.
Feeling like big man with
that gun in your hand, huh?
Yeah, thanks for noticing.
All right, get in
No, go that way, mother
Get in there.
Get your ass in there, boy.
You got your money.
Now please let us go.
What, so you can call
the cops?
That's not how
this night's gonna end.
We have to get out of here.
Shit, it's sealed shut.
- Shit.
- Try to hop through the vent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.
Step up.
Okay, you know what? This
isn't Mission Impossible, okay?
And we both know my ass is not
gonna fit in that small hole.
This is what happens
when you lie.
These are the consequences
death in the middle
of nowhere
in a Prohibition-era brothel.
What you mean, lie?
What are you talking about?
I lied to Jameson
about meeting up with you.
Well, I didn't tell Mira
about us
meeting today either.
Why?
I don't know.
It just seemed like it was
difficult to explain, you know.
Ian, are we gonna die?
If Dateline has taught me
anything
yeah.
So this is it.
This is how
Miss Doctor Camille Parks
leaves this earth.
I always thought
that I would be surrounded
by friends and family
Prince playing
in the background.
You know,
you always liked Prince.
Yeah.
You never answered my text.
How could you never
answer my text?
Your work text?
You know it wasn't about work.
I just want things to be
less awkward between us
you know, like we used to be.
It's like a
it's like a soufflé
that fell a little bit,
and every time I try to fix it,
I just
fuck it up.
Yeah.
Camille, I still love you.
I never stopped.
- Oh, my God!
- Come here, come here.
I got you.
I got you.
Oh, there you are.
Oh!
I've missed you guys.
What happened?
Oh, he took all the money from
my cards, and then he left.
But, luckily, he underestimated
the value of the vulva.
Let's get the hell
out of here.
Yeah, yeah.
Then go up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
Up and down, up and down ♪
Hey.
Hey.
What happened?
Ah
dinner with Angie
turned into drinks.
Drinks turned to more drinks,
and there was a lot of drinks.
I'm sorry I didn't call,
I left my phone in the Uber.
Is Angie good?
'Cause I know you're not good
unless your friends are good.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, she's
figuring it out.
You know?
Sometimes it hard to tell
if you're making
the right decision.
Well, she should trust
her gut.
It'll never steer you wrong.
There are two ways
to be unburdened
by the weight of a secret.
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
You can make
the choice to disclose it
Higher ♪
Till you're feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
or you can wait
until it exposes itself.
Yo, Brandon,
how you doing?
I'm awesome.
Great. And did you get a chance
to sign those divorce papers?
- No, not yet.
- Is that my table from the
Oh yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Just trying to make
your guest room feel like home.
It has been
a really long night.
Either way, the truth
will set you free
right?
Hooks on hooks on hooks
like hey ♪
You want to just
call me captain ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Then you're feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Then you're feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Till you feeling
low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪
Kind of like a yo-yo ♪
One minute I feel shit ♪
Next minute I'm the shit ♪
It get under my skin ♪
Kind of just like a tick ♪
Some people make me sick ♪
I'ma just bite my fist ♪
I'ma just wet my wrist ♪
Fuck a nigga till he limp ♪
This doesn't need
a caption ♪
I'm a real bitch,
you half one ♪
Hate all you want,
lil bitch, these bands I got ♪
You won't get a fraction ♪
I'm sorry
that you're lost, boy ♪
I'ma go down like Jackson ♪
Hooks on hooks on hooks
like hey ♪
You want to just
call me captain ♪
Life can take you higher ♪
Then you feeling low, low ♪
That you gonna go
up and down ♪