Hart to Hart (1979) s01e09 Episode Script

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart.
A self-made millionaire.
He's quite a guy.
This is Mrs.
H.
She's gorgeous.
What a terrific lady! By the way, my name is Max.
I take care of them, which ain't easy 'cause their hobby is murder.
Pardon me, boys Is this the Chattanooga Choo-Choo? Track 29 Boy, you could give me a shine.
You know how much that's worth? It's the original platter, a real collector's item.
But I ain't selling.
Transylvania Station about a quarter to four You read a magazine and you're in Baltimore You know, I won $100 dancing to that tune.
Me and What was her name? Noreen.
Noreen O'Malley, that's right.
What's the matter? You don't believe me? Noreen, she sure can cut a rug.
Hart residence.
- No, I'm sorry he's not in.
Leave a message? - This is Dr.
Capello.
Tell Mr.
Hart I've got to see him here tonight.
No, I can't explain over the phone.
I've found something.
It's important.
Very important.
The minute he comes in.
Thank you.
- We made it.
- But that man on my right.
All I did was ask him how he was.
And he told me, all night long.
His horoscope, his golf score, his gallstones.
Business dinners.
- But you charmed him.
- What do you mean? All I did was nod my head up and down for three hours.
What? I accepted his invitation to his son's bar mitzvah on Saturday.
Yeah, and he accepted my business offer, which makes you - one hell of a silent partner.
- Really? I'm listening, tell me more.
You wanna hear more? Okay.
Why, Mr.
Hart.
- Jonathan.
- What? Max, go to bed.
I'm glad you woke me.
I got a very urgent message for you.
Dr.
Capello called from the Chem-o-Cal lab.
Said you had to see him right away.
Did he say what it was all about? He didn't say, but it sounded very important.
- It better be, at this hour.
- Well, you know how eccentric he is.
He's always working late at night.
Yeah, maybe he's made some great discovery.
Like how to turn lead into gold.
Well, now, that might be worth investigating.
Let me tell you something, your information better be correct or I'll have your stripes for this.
Well, David, look who's working late.
I'm not surprised.
I always thought Dr.
Capello was over-dedicated.
I know what the two of you have been doing.
I've done an analysis.
I shall have to dismiss both of you from this laboratory.
Do you think we care about continuing here, after what David's discovered? I'm sorry you had to find out, Doctor.
Have you any idea how many lives this can destroy? Not destroy, bring pleasure to.
And make us very rich in the process.
I don't intend to let you get away with this.
And I don't intend to let you tell anyone.
It doesn't matter what you do to me.
I've written it all down in my lab journal.
- Where is it? - You won't find it.
Karen! - No! - You didn't say "please.
" - Hey, I got an idea.
- What? Why don't we go to that restaurant that we used to go to on Figueroa afterwards? I thought you hated that place.
You seemed to think that it was very romantic.
Yes, a silvery moon, a greasy spoon, and you.
Very romantic.
Mr.
Hart looks like the chemicals he was working with exploded on contact with fire.
Captain, let me make one thing very clear.
Chem-o-Cal has a perfect safety record.
Not only in the state of California, but in the nation.
You want us to notify a next of kin? No, my husband and I will take care of it.
Thank you, Captain.
Darling? I told him that he was working too hard, there was absolutely no reason for it.
Mrs.
Capello, your husband was one of the finest chemists working for us.
One of the finest chemists in the world.
- His work was very important.
- We're very, very sorry.
- The police say it was an accident.
- Yes, they do.
I just don't believe that.
See, Harry was the most meticulous man, even at home.
How so? He thought the kitchen was a minefield.
He'd never turn on an appliance with a wet hand and he always put the knives away just so.
I guess he was afraid that I'd grab the blade.
I used to tease him about that.
Did he mention why he was working so late tonight? No.
But you know, something had been bothering him all week.
He seemed so preoccupied.
- Did you ask him why? - Yes.
He just told me I was wrong.
But you see, I had this feeling that there was something that he didn't want to tell me.
You know, I've heard that the two of you sometimes look into things.
You think there's something to look into? Believe me, my husband did not have accidents.
Faster than angel dust, more powerful than PCP.
Able to put you into orbit with a single shot.
Karen.
I think I've got the dosage right now.
In a moment these creatures should be very, very happy.
Karen, will you stop fooling around with those creatures and come to bed? I am not fooling around.
It's very important we know how to cut this stuff.
Why? Karen, you're not planning on trying some of that stuff yourself, are you? Eventually.
Unless you can think of something more exciting.
Capello said he did an analysis of our experiment.
We've got to find that lab book before anyone else does.
- It doesn't bother you what we did tonight? - It had to be done.
A man is dead.
People die every day.
"Arson squad believes the explosion to have been accidental "but an investigation is in progress.
" Even if it was an accident, why was that Dr.
Capello so upset when he called? That's why I'm going to the lab, Max.
I'm afraid you won't find out anything there, darling.
Why is that? Because nobody ever tells the boss anything.
Didn't you know that? - Really? - Nobody, except Max.
- But then he's one of a kind.
- Yeah, it's tough to be perfect.
What do you suggest? Why don't you let me go there alone? I thought I'd stop by and see how Mrs.
Capello was and then I could go on to the lab.
- Thanks, but I can handle it.
- But, darling, this is a perfect opportunity.
And you know how easily I get people to talk.
But suppose people don't have anything to talk about? But if they do, I'll call you about it.
Okay? How's that? Okay.
And, Max, I forgot to cash a cheque this morning.
Have you got $10? I don't know if I got $10.
- $20 is the smallest I got.
- That's perfect.
Thanks.
- Bye, darling.
- Bye.
Are you keeping track? Every cent.
I think I'm gonna begin to charge him interest.
Mr.
Hart, we've never had a teakettle boil over, let alone anything like this.
Dr.
Capello was working on a paint formula, wasn't he? That's right, Mr.
Hart.
He was working on a heavy-duty metallic enamel for automobiles, airplanes, and the like.
He wanted to double the durability of the existing type.
Was he involved in any other research? Well, we can check his workbooks, but I'm pretty sure that was his only project.
- What are they working on? - These are two of our most valuable assets.
- Hello, I'm Jonathan Hart.
- This is Karen Shields.
- Nice to meet you, finally.
- And David Krieger.
- How do you do? - How do you do, Mr.
Hart? Karen and David are working on a new method of distillation.
Distillation.
That sounds like it has very happy possibilities for office parties.
Well, no, we are not exactly working on Hart Industries' answer to moonshine.
- Yeah, that is unfortunate.
- They were working with Dr.
Capello.
Really? Well, I hope I have an opportunity to talk to you later.
- About the accident? - If it was an accident.
I'm not too sure that it was.
We'll be glad to tell you anything we can.
Good, then I'll look forward to talking to you later.
Can we see Dr.
Capello's office? - Of course, this way.
- Excuse me.
- Awfully inquisitive, isn't he? - It's his company.
I'm afraid that's not the reason for his sudden interest.
Capello? Hello? Help me! - Help me! - Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Step out.
Hang on for a second and I'll get this off.
Okay.
- Thank goodness you came.
- What happened? I don't know.
There were two of them.
They had a gun.
- Sit down.
- I thought I was going to faint.
- Thank you for coming.
- Did any of them say anything? Well, only after they put me in there.
I could barely hear them but I think one of them was a woman.
Do you have any idea what they were looking for? No.
But it had something to do with Harry's death, didn't it? It might.
It very well might.
- Is this yours? - Yes.
I used to wear that, years ago.
Before I cut my hair.
Would you mind if I borrowed it? Well, it's not your colour.
Don't worry about that.
Besides I always did wonder if they really had more fun.
What was Dr.
Capello working on before the paint project? High-density plastic for refrigerated storage.
You know, leftovers.
- Was there anything unusual about it? - You mean the chemistry? No, just that it was better and stronger than the competition.
- That's strange.
- What's strange? That one of his lab books is missing.
You see, we number them for each of the projects.
Here's six and eight.
No seven.
If he was working with it, it could have been burnt in the explosion.
No, no, no.
These box covers, they're asbestos.
Airtight.
Just another of the precautions we take, just in case.
Well, maybe he took it home with him.
Why don't you call Mrs.
Capello and see if she's seen the book around the house? Good idea.
Would you call Mrs.
Capello and see if Lab Book 7 is at the house? - Would you like some coffee, Mr.
Hart? - Yeah, please.
Milk and sugar.
And would you bring Mr.
Hart some coffee, please? Milk and sugar.
What're they doing now? It looks as though they're discussing the missing book.
Pruitt's just spoken to the secretary.
She's going for coffee.
We can't chance anyone nosing about.
What're you doing? I'm going to make sure that Mr.
Hart has a thrilling ride home.
I wish we could go along.
Observe its affect on humans.
Did you see who's in with Mr.
Pruitt? You mean Mr.
Hart.
Yes, I just met him.
He's so attractive.
It's just my luck there's a Mrs.
Hart.
I wonder what she looks like.
- Sugar.
- Thanks.
See you later.
Did you take care of it? He's on his way to dreamland.
Thank you.
Mrs.
Capello's phone seems to be out of order.
You better report it and try again later.
I'm sure the book will turn up.
In the meantime I'd like to have a complete review on lab safety procedures checked and double-checked.
You can use as many people as you need to for that, Mr.
Pruitt.
Yes.
Excuse me, Mr.
Hart, Miss Iris Primrose is here.
She says she has an appointment with you.
Mr.
Hart? You do remember me, don't you? State Safety Council.
Your name isn't easy to forget.
It's so relentlessly fresh.
Like a summer cold.
This is Mr.
Pruitt our laboratory administrator.
This is Miss Primrose.
Just the man I want to see.
She's with the safety commission.
We're doing a study on precautionary systems and after what happened here last night Perhaps Mr.
Pruitt could have someone show the lady around? Certainly.
I'll ask David Krieger.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
Iris Primrose? Tell me, Iris, who's writing your material, Howard Cosell? No, no, no.
She was a real person.
She was my third grade teacher and she always smelt of talcum powder.
- I ought to have you exposed.
- Please, not here.
By the way Mrs.
Capello's house was broken into this morning by someone.
- What? - Yes.
They tied her up, tried to kill her.
Then they turned the house upside down looking for something.
The lab books.
One of Dr.
Capello's lab books is missing.
Number seven? Well I'm so grateful for all the time you've given me, Mr.
Hart.
- I realise that your time is terribly valuable.
- No, it's my pleasure, Miss Primrose.
I sincerely hope I find your sprinkler system in satisfactory condition.
I can't wait to show it to you.
Get your opinion.
I also would like to take you over to one of our warehouses.
- It's only a few minutes away.
- I'd be delighted.
Well, shall I meet you in the parking lot? - I'll be there with a smile on.
- Bye-bye.
- Well, hello.
- Hello.
Was Dr.
Capello working on this experiment? Well, Karen Shields and I did an awful lot of work on this project.
Karen is brilliant.
You seem quite taken by her.
Well, even though I am the one who perfected the fine points - Karen is the real brain, you might say.
- You might say.
- And then again, you might not.
- No.
Karen is everything that I'm not.
Karen is everything I respect.
Such as? Well, she's in control of things.
In control of everything.
Well, she certainly sounds like a splendid woman.
She is.
I plan to ask her to marry me.
Just as soon as As soon as you what? As soon as we finish this little project of our own.
- This must be Karen's smock.
- David! I must have put it on by mistake this morning.
Well, shall we go? If we must.
- Miss Primrose, can I give you a ride? - Thank you, Mr.
Hart.
Have I got an earful for you.
And just as he was showing me the test chamber, he did the strangest thing.
He reached into his pocket and he pulled out a handkerchief.
Jonathan, watch where you're driving.
Sorry.
And he pulled out a lady's stocking, or a piece of a woman's stocking.
Suddenly he got very nervous and started acting very strange as if he was trying to cover something up.
Jonathan, would you watch where you're going? Have you been drinking? Coffee.
Jonathan! Remember the old days when we used to neck in the car? Will you watch what you're doing, Jonathan? Here.
Now, you just let me have the wheel.
Just let me get over there.
Oh, my! Wait a minute! Jonathan! - Please! - Well - thanks for the ride.
- Wait, wait! Where are you going? Jonathan? Jonathan, your foot's on the gas.
Get your foot off the gas.
Jonathan, would you let go of that wheel? We home yet? No, but I think we passed go.
Did we collect $200? No, we're going straight to gaol.
Your pupils are still slightly dilated, Jonathan.
You were drugged.
No doubt about it.
- How do you feel now, darling? - Like I just splashed down.
- You want some chicken soup? - No, thanks, Max.
Maybe later.
I'll call you as soon as I get the report on the blood sample.
Wally, thanks for tearing yourself away from the Friday night poker game.
- I really appreciate it.
- Any time.
- I was getting my brains beaten out.
- Thanks again, Wally.
I'll show you to the door, Doctor.
And if you change your mind about the chicken soup I'll be in the kitchen having some myself.
Hey, I'm really sorry.
Don't be silly.
It wasn't your fault.
Listen, first thing tomorrow, before the bar mitzvah I think we'll go by the lab and find out what brand of coffee they're using.
But first things first.
Tonight you're going to get a lovely night's sleep.
How did we get home? Well, Max picked us up at the police station.
- I don't recall being at the police station.
- It was quite a trip.
Remind me to change travel agents.
Whoever said getting there is half the fun should have been there today.
Listen, any trip that ends up here can't be all bad.
Nothing in the papers.
Nothing on the radio.
I guess somehow the illustrious Mr.
Hart is still with us.
It's no problem.
If everything works out with our buyer today we can go back to the lab, clear out and disappear.
- And if it doesn't work out? - Then we find another buyer.
What we've got makes the other drugs look like candy.
We'll have no trouble selling it.
- Feeling any better this morning, Mr.
H? - Yeah, I am, thanks, Max.
That's fine.
- Good morning, Max.
- Good morning, Mrs.
H.
What did you get the kid for his bar mitzvah? Electric razor.
I figured he's 13, he's gotta have a few whiskers coming in.
What did you get him? I got him an envelope with a little money in it.
Always in good taste.
We'd better get going, darling.
Especially if we're gonna stop by the lab.
- Boy, you look like a million bucks.
- You sure do, Mrs.
H.
- Thank you very much.
You, too.
- You got a regular fan club here.
Coffee over here.
That's the cup I was using.
Boy, they sure cleaned up.
Look at this.
But it wasn't done by the janitor.
He didn't even dump the trash.
- No sugar in the bowl.
- Maybe it's in the refrigerator.
No.
Empty.
- Maybe they washed it down the drain.
- Maybe it's in the trash.
It's worth a try.
Jonathan, look at this.
This is just like the one that came out of David's pocket.
What can you do with half a stocking? Well, they could make a stocking cap, a stocking mask A mask! They must be the ones that broke into Mrs.
Capello's.
I think you got it.
There's the car.
Your sample proved to be quite acceptable.
We're interested in doing business.
- How interested? .
$100,000.
Then we're not interested.
What figure did you have in mind? Five times that amount.
- That's a great deal of money.
- Nowhere near what you're going to make.
This is going to move faster than any drug you've got on the street.
- Karen, you can't - Shut up, David! - When can you deliver the formula? - Whenever you can deliver the money.
Tomorrow.
- Here? - If you like.
I like.
That's when you'll get the formula.
Don't be late.
I might get depressed.
We're gonna be rich.
We're gonna be rich! Not we, David.
Karen, I love you.
I know.
You were very intelligent, David but not very smart.
Thank you.
Thanks very much.
The police said they'd start looking for Karen and David right away.
- What did you find out? - Nothing.
Capello must have hidden it before he called you.
Yeah.
In the box that it was sealed in.
- Say, what are these things for, anyway? - To protect the book inside.
- Against what? - Wind, water, fire.
- Sounds like a rock group.
- You know, that's the problem.
Why would he take this box along with him? He didn't know there was gonna be an explosion.
Wait a minute.
Come with me.
I've got an idea.
Now, where would one hide a book in here? It's got to be in the car.
What do you mean in the car, darling? There's no insides to the car.
There's no trunk, there's no glove compartment, there's no nothing.
No glove compartment, no trunk, no licence plate.
Jonathan, look at this.
The last entry was made the night of the explosion.
"The 26th, 9:00 p.
m.
"I've come upon something Shields and Krieger have been secretly working on.
"A method of altering my formula "TKP319, for the purpose of manufacturing a synthetic hallucinogenic.
"Must contact Jonathan Hart tonight before it is too late.
" I'm afraid it is too late, Mr.
and Mrs.
Hart.
This is a testing chamber.
And guess what? You're about to be tested.
Just like being in Chicago, isn't it? Let's try to make it to the car! Merry Christmas, Mr.
and Mrs.
Hart.
So sorry to give you the cold shoulder, Mr.
and Mrs.
Hart.
What's the matter? Don't you have the holiday spirit? You should have worn your sable, Mrs.
Hart.
Don't you like snow sports? Jonathan, I'm freezing.
I got an idea.
That panel, it covers the circuits.
- You got a fingernail file? - Yes, I do.
It's in my purse.
- Where's your purse? - It's out there, in front of the car.
What do you think you're doing, Mr.
Hart? What next? I hope those outfits are drip-dry.
How do you like your place in the sun? Time is running out.
Hang on.
There's only one screw left.
Hurry, darling.
It's no use, Mr.
Hart.
You don't have much more time.
Give me your shoe.
That's a hell of a way to get your laundry done.
- Just what Dr.
Colby ordered, chicken soup.
- Thanks, Max.
And he said that you two gotta be in bed for a week.
- A week? - A week? And I told him I'd see to it that you obeyed his orders religiously.
- A whole week.
- You heard what he said.
Doctor's orders.
- My kind of orders.
- My kind of doctor.
You know, if we play it right, we could have a relapse.
Just what I was thinking.