I May Destroy You (2020) s01e09 Episode Script

1
Hey, mate.
Oh, hey.
You all right?
Yeah.
- Sure?
- Yeah, just tired.
- Yeah. You all right?
- Yeah, good.
Oh, Happy Halloween.
You too.
"What about me?"
"Why can't we have
a white history month?"
"Oh, what if we had
a straight pride day?"
"Why can't we have a men's day?"
Whining, temper tantrums,
like fucking
little fragile children.
We get a day, you get a lifetime
knowing that you are likely
to walk free
from rape.
So shut the fuck up.
This is why I be hating
straight white guys,
and y'all are making it
really hard for me
to change my mind.
Rah.
Doxing.
So, um,
the readings have come back fine
on the CT Scan.
Um, in regards to that,
everything's in order.
- Really?
- Yay!
Your blood pressure results,
however, are
Sorry, one sec.
As you know,
you can't give peace
unless you have peace.
I had a CT scan to check in
with the mind.
So for anybody
who thinks I'm crazy
for having Insta
and Twitter wars with rapists
and life-destroyers every day,
you can relax.
I have the all-clear, yay!
Besides, it's not every day.
Thursday, I'm sat with
my pum-pum on your dad's face.
Ask him. I care for him,
I care for me.
Care of self.
Self-care.
I encourage you all
to manifest it
into your daily lives.
Hold tight the NHS,
hold tight bae
for booking my appointment.
Oh, hey, snuggle bunnies,
it's me,
at therealterrypratchard.
Be good to those who love you
'cause those who love you
are good to you.
Or trick a motherfucker
'cause it's Halloween, bitches.
Back in the room. Sorry.
Uh, so, yes.
Uh, you will need
to monitor that.
- What?
- The blood pressure.
- Oh.
- The higher
the blood pressure,
the bigger the knock-on effect
on the kidneys,
which are already
at an elevated risk
due to your being
of Afro-Caribbean origin.
Um, are there any new stresses
That was racial ignorance.
I'm not Afro-Caribbean.
I'm actually African.
There's a unity
and a distinction
between those places,
and as a London doctor,
you should be aware
of those things
to avoid generalizing
people of color
and accidentally becoming
a deeply problematic member
of your profession.
I'm sorry, it's just the term
used on the reports.
If it's got something to do with
the form you keep pointing to,
maybe tell the big boss
of the pharmaceutical
neuro-whatnot
to change the form.
- Who makes the form?
- Who makes the
I just want them
to tell me what they mean
by "Afro-Caribbean,"
given it's not where I'm from
and it's used to describe
my origin.
I I don't know.
Is that the extent
of your diagnosis?
"Hello, Arabella,
you're Caribbean
and I don't know?"
So,
why is her blood pressure high?
That's what I don't know.
- She doesn't smoke?
- No, just vapes now. That's it.
What?
Well, vaping isn't
Do you agree that vaping
is better than smoking?
- Well, yes, but
- Then that's all we need
to say about it.
But if there's a predisposition
to kidney problems,
then it's better just to get rid
of the vape completely.
Doc, I think my friend
is stressed.
- Do you confirm?
- Yes.
And the rapes, stressful,
do you confirm?
Yes.
And other stressed people
asking her to defend them
and expose rapists,
abusers, and pedos,
and she does this day and night
via phone screen.
- Stressful, do you confirm?
- Yes.
So why would we tell her
to stop vaping
if it doesn't take
a professional to see
that the stress from the phone
will kill her faster
than any puff of nicotine
ever will?
Who are they?
Right, don't know who that is,
but that's Michael.
And so, he sent you
a video of him having sex
with someone else?
Uh Oh, yeah. Of course.
Let me at least
see what it looks like
on top of someone else
before I tap my Oyster
and creep under it.
- I like that.
- You like it?
but only one halo.
You'd think that they'd stock up
on these things,
- given it's Halloween.
- Yeah, shit, yeah.
Yeah. So now,
we have to battle it out.
Could I state my case first?
You know what?
We wouldn't even be here
doing this self-care day
if it wasn't for you
setting it all up, Terry.
So yes, you should state
your case first,
but I don't know how you feel
about this, Bells
I'm actually happy,
and indeed willing,
to let you wear the halo.
- Guys, are you sure?
- Definitely.
Yeah, def Yeah.
Come on, then.
Paint and Wine
is first come, first served,
so we're gonna need to be
prompt with time.
Hey! Hey!
- Hi.
- Uh, I just wanted to say
thank you for your content.
-Oh.
-I know your work.
I've read your posts.
And what you're doing
for rape victims,
- girl, whoa.
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much. Wow.
- Yeah.
I I was abused by a straight
white male as a child,
spoke out for the first time
a few months ago, and
it's not easy.
As a man,
as a black man, to be honest,
to to show pain,
it comes at a price.
- Sorry, you must be busy.
- No. No, listen,
I am never too busy
to talk about pain.
'Cause some people
don't wanna engage
the minute you try
talk about some real shit.
Yeah. They, uh, kinda treat you
- like a broken vessel, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Some people,
they don't wanna dig too deep.
Mmm, 'cause if they dig
deep enough,
- they'd see they're in pain too.
- They're in pain as well.
-Mm-hmm.
-That's it. Wow.
You're so brave.
Keep fighting
the good fight, yo.
"Thank you.
Thank you so much for reminding me
of all the pain and frustration.
That's all I can think about."
"Oh, it's my pleasure.
Make sure you tell your friends
to follow me
and make me more powerful."
"Of course, you're my shero,
consoler of the weak
and avenger of the bad men."
- Oi, Bells?
- Yeah, wait, wait.
- Can we go?
- One sec.
This echo chamber is freezing.
I'm cold!
You never know, Kwarms,
you might be feeling
a bit down one day
and you just might need someone
who agrees
whatever the fuck you say.
Even if you are chatting shit.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Sorry, guys.
Uh, we said no phones.
Oh, yeah.
No vaping.
What?
Bella!
I'm spreading awareness,
people should know.
I'm not going to upload it now.
I'm just gonna take it,
and then I'll post it later.
- Fine.
- Hey, bunnies,
thought I'd let you know
about the POC
Paint and Wine Movement.
I believe we have the right
to express ourselves,
to be vulnerable, to grow,
to free ourselves
without the critical eyes
of our oppressor
shaming and judging us
while we create.
The POC Paint and Wine
Movement
Is it even a movement?
I don't know why
she keeps saying that.
Paint and wine.
Self-care,
friendship, expression,
art, creativity, peace.
This is what I've done so far.
Cute!
Okay, peace and love, bunnies!
Hey, look,
don't forget who booked it,
my bae,
at therealterrypratchard.
Actor, angel, cuddle-bunny
snuggle butt. Holler!
"Snuggle butt?"
Okay.
Anyways, Kwame, you were saying
- this racist bitch, Nilufer.
- Oh, yeah.
You know, I hate it
when white girls disappoint me.
She said some homophobic stuff
as well.
- What?
- Yeah, she said the f-word.
People think they can chat
shit and get away with it.
Yeah, it's kinda dark still.
- I'm sorry, Kwarms.
- Hmm.
Why didn't you say something?
I just wanted to forget
about it.
I don't wanna think
about it now.
I hope you pulled your dick out.
Nah,
it was afterwards, actually.
We were just chilling,
and it really made me think,
what are people saying
in your absence,
d'you know what I mean?
Oh, okay. So she didn't know
you were
She she didn't know
you were gay until after?
And after I called her out
on her homophobic bullshit,
the way she fucking
hit the roof.
But Kwame, why did you tell her?
She said "faggot" just casually.
How am I supposed
to stay silent?
You didn't mind her
racially stereotyping you?
You definitely didn't
mind 'cause you fucked her.
As I said,
I really wasn't trying
to do anything with her, so
It's also no wonder
she was angry.
She found out you were gay
after you stuck your dick in her
and shot a load up.
I don't know, I think I would be
at least a little bit,
like, surprised.
I I feel terrible about it,
but she kinda forced me, so
Yeah Well, you kind of had
penetrative sex with someone
under false pretenses, Kwarms.
That's a bit, I don't know
What the fuck is wrong
with this thing?
- You need to top it up.
- Okay.
I'm saying I feel shit. I
don't feel good about it.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, yeah.
I mean, Kwarms, I'm sure
she feels absolutely superb.
I just think that
it was just really confusing
- for everyone
- No. Terry,
as someone
who has not experienced rape,
you should be listening
and not concluding
conversations.
- What?
- There's no vaping in the
Bella.
He said he didn't feel good
about it.
He's a man
concealing his identity
following a woman into her home.
He's making someone vulnerable.
If he felt good about that,
I'd be fucking horrified.
I'm saying he's got his own
He's vulnerable.
Yeah, being vulnerable
doesn't mean
you can make
other people vulnerable,
it doesn't mean
you can put other people
through pain, it doesn't mean
you can penetrate people.
Come on, seriously.
Bells, she literally
- pushed me into
- Mm, no
It sounds like
you're blaming her.
Are are you blaming her?
I'm not of of course
I wouldn't do that.
You just shouldn't
have told her, babe.
Yeah, you know, T, I agree.
Because that'd be like
telling the truth,
and it's much better to just
hide that under the surface
and never acknowledge
that you are hiding something
from a woman who's let you
into her bedroom.
Fix your brain,
are you fucking insane?
- He made a mistake.
- A mis
Yeah, yes, yes.
He made a mistake.
Sure. Nobody gives a fuck
that it's a mistake, Terry.
We all make those.
Do we make deceitful,
destructive,
narcissistic, sick,
inconsiderate mistakes?
No.
So, on my birthday
when you locked him
in the room with Jamal,
what was that?
What? What, uh, so
What did I What did I do?
Samson's friend,
you locked him in with.
Sorry, hmm?
And then you just
Kind of just
What wh wh
Where is this
where is this going?
You left Kwame in there
without really thinking
about the consequences.
He wasn't in a good place,
so it was
It was really hard for him
to be left there because it
It was a dangerous
It was a dangerous situation
at that moment.
- Kwame?
- Yeah?
Wow, he's here,
so I guess that means
you don't need
to speak for him,
which is great,
so you can just
shut up and fuck off.
Kwame?
Uh, um, I feel like I've
been a good friend to you.
You told me
what that guy did to you.
Yeah, you are.
- And I've tried to
- You have been, Bells.
What Did I Did I do
- I I don't
- 'Cause if there's something
that I did that day
that I'm not aware of?
Um, I I can't even
really remember,
like, for real, so.
I'm just saying, right,
if you
paint things to make it look
like you're a victim,
and I find out that
isn't entirely the case,
it makes me question
who you are.
Now, just look in the mirror,
d'you know what I mean?
Because it's
it's really unnerving
and it's
uncomfortable for everyone.
Fuck this shit.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Can I just see if that wire
goes into my vape?
It's losing its power,
so I just wanted to
Ah, amazing, do you mind
if I hold on to that?
Thank you.
I'd let you know about
the Paint and Wine Movement
What is this?
It doesn't work, but thank you.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Can you take a quick
picture of me?
Okay.
Just like, y'know.
Hey, sweetheart.
Like your horns and everything.
Oh, it's really amazing,
that you think your opinion
should just be heard.
I thought we were
Your hair is the same as mine.
Come on.
Hey, guys.
Did you know that all
crash test dummies
They don't factor in breasts,
hips, pregnancies.
Cancer research relies on
studies conducted on men,
on white men in their 20s
to 30s, specifically.
There is no data for women.
is based on the average size
of their hands.
I mean, it trickles down,
doesn't it?
And I wish I could tell you
these were some
Halloween tricks,
some fake news, some bullshit,
but sadly, this is all true.
I shouldn't be scared
that as I walk this street
right now, at any moment,
a man could drag me into
a dark alley and attack me.
Fuck this shit. Fuck.
I love you too.
Doxing
publishing private information.
Thank you.
I came across it this morning.
"Doxing," any of you guys
heard of it?
Who would you dox if you could?
No, I will not show you
my fucking
Hashtag doxthecocks,
that's the new one, yeah.
If anyone's got Zain Sareen's
home address,
feel free to share.
Never dox.
No, you should never dox.
We don't need to take matters
into our own hands.
To bury a
dark hypocritical narrative
as if it didn't even happen?
And just walk around like some
kind of victim?
Hmm. You seem very upset.
It's really affected you,
hasn't it?
I never thought Kwame would
turn out to be
this kind of person,
d'you know what I mean?
Because he's my friend,
and I don't keep
that kind of shit around me.
Look at my Facebook.
And my Instagram too, yeah.
DM after DM after DM after DM.
There is so much injustice,
and my job is
to speak the truth.
I have to speak the truth,
no matter who to.
I can't be complicit.
Do you need social media?
Well, I I don't need it.
Could you leave social media?
It's
it's important that we speak.
I have to speak.
The business models
of these networks
incentivize us
to behave in in certain ways.
In ways that promote speaking,
often at the cost of listening.
Do you remember the three R's?
Yeah Uh,
rest, reflect, rejuvenate.
Look, if you can't abandon it
altogether,
take a break.
We take breaks.
We don't work weekends.
We break for half term.
Even a cantor has a sabbatical.
And it's good
for our mental health.
Sorry, by the way.
- I've turned up at your
- No, you you called.
That's what the emergency line
is for. You're fine.
Okay.
- How are other things?
- Good.
Yeah. I've been writing
non-stop day and night, so.
I was wondering more
about the case.
Oh, they closed the case.
- They closed the case?
- Mmm.
It was about a month ago.
You know, I took my stuff,
the investigation bags,
is that normal?
Everything
and nothing is normal.
What was it like? Opening them?
Oh no, I didn't open them,
I just put them under the bed.
And they're still there now?
Yeah, but everything
is under my bed.
I think it's worth exploring
the possibility
you have an idea of self,
let's say "A" for Arabella.
And then there's a line,
a hard surface, a bed.
Uh, dangerous things,
dark things,
anything that contradicts
or threatens
your perceived reality go here.
It happens more often
than you might think.
A line is drawn separating
bad from good,
friend from foe,
men, women, black, white,
them, us, criminal, victim,
god, devil.
It helps us to deflect,
you know,
avoid feelings like guilt,
uncertainty, self-blame.
These feelings are are crucial
in the stages of recovery.
If we can't process
and understand them,
we can't process
and understand ourselves.
Hey, mate.
- Hey, mate.
- What you up to?
I kept
the investigation bags
from, you know,
so I thought I'd get them out,
but then there's loads.
All right, nice.
- Is this them?
- Mm-hmm.
Mate, you got loads of stuff.
What's that?
This was a long time ago.
I can't remember.
How many weeks was I?
I don't remember.
Ten weeks.
I just went and
done it, and then I forgot.
I never really thought
about it again.
I guess I've, uh
I guess I've
Do you feel like
you made the wrong decision?
No.
Doing what we have to do
doesn't always feel good,
does it?
If you felt good, I would be
even more horrified.
When you paint things
to make it look
as if you're just the victim,
and I find out that
isn't the case,
really makes me question
who you are.
Just look in the mirror,
d'you know what I mean?
It's really uncomfortable
and unnerving for everyone.
Sorry.
Where's Kwame?
He wasn't sure if you were okay
with him coming in.
Okay.
Yo, I I can go
if you don't want me here,
- I understand.
- Kwame
I was really
I was really intense today,
and I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
What I did was bad.
I, uh,
I locked you in this room,
and I didn't think about it.
That was really dumb
and really thoughtless,
and I'm sorry.
I don't wanna think about it.
No, fuck that shit.
Please just forget about it.
- I love you.
- Yeah, I love you, too.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Are you okay?
Well, Terry's self-care train
is making me wanna jump
in front of one.
So I'm gonna go
to this location.
You don't tell her,
she won't notice.
Okay.
Love you.
Jelly aliens.
If you throw it
hard enough on the ceiling,
it goes splat and then
a baby comes from inside it.
Right.
Uh, well, I'm gonna
I'm gonna go back watching TV.
Halloween TV.
Well, Kurz. So, um
So, uh, right.
Sleep well, mate.
Thanks, Ben.
Yeah.
Are you sure you wanna do this?
What do you need, bae?
Netflix, painting,
chocolate, do do?
- Can we go for a walk?
- Sure.
It's cold, Bella,
put your coat on.
Here.
This is a long walk.
Bella?
What are we doing?
Yas.
Don't you have work to do?
Your deadline,
ain't they waiting?
I think they are busy
celebrating people
who actually achieve.
And don't you get paid
on delivery?
You know there's nothing
coming out of that thing, right?
There's not, is there?
No.
Can we walk?
Are you angry with me?
Are you angry with me?
I thought I'd leave you
and none of this would happen.
Glad she told you,
for real when
she's the one who gave me
approval to leave.
Who are you talking about?
Oh shit.
And your dad, did he turn up?
My girl! Eh?
How are you?
Mum, I have to tell you about
something
that happened to me in January.
Okay.
What happened?