Kickin' It (2011) s01e09 Episode Script

Winner.
Kim, you just won a match in the All Wasabi Invitational.
This has to be the most amazing moment of your life.
- Actually, when you see my sister first birth - Boring.
It's all tight up.
If we win the last match, we're the number 1 Dojo in the Bobby Wasabi chain.
Jack, you're up.
Are you ready? Well yeah but I thought Bobby Wasabi was gonna be here.
People, Bobby can't show up every once.
Or he's here now.
- Bobby, welcome.
- I'm sorry.
I I was hoping to slip in unnoticed.
So How much is my Pittsburgh dojo winning by, huh? Whoa whoa whoa, for your information, we're kicking butt.
Oh, that's rich, almost as rich.
As my labradoodle will be when I die.
Seriously, you're you're winning? If we win this last match.
Well, let's do this! Jack, you can do this.
You want to know why there's a heat wave outside? Because you're on fire! Fire! Celebrities first! Wait wait wait, no fire.
Just a pep talk.
Oh well, ahem Before the match begins, I have an announcement.
This month there will be an article on the principles of the Wasabi code.
In "karatefancy" magazine! The winning dojo will receive a gift from me.
And the winning Sensei will appear on the cover with me.
Do you guys know what this means? If I'm on the cover with Bobby, People will finally know how great I am.
And humble.
Ho hoo, this is going to be exciting.
Evan, sausage me.
You got this, Jack.
- Rudlet's go, Jack.
- Fight! It's all right, Jack.
Kiyeah, come on, Jack.
- Winner! - We did it, we won! We're #1, Whoo! Come on, Rudy, on our shoulders once around the dojo.
, no no, guys! At no point.
Should my head be higher than Bobby Wasabi.
Ooh, I love shoulder rides.
Okay, kids, let's lift with the legs.
don't you get all tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we could have a ball, run up the wall that's just how we do and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you here we go, let's start the party chop it up like it's karate everybody don't you get all tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we could have a ball, run up the wall that's just how we do and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
What do you think Wasabi's special gift is going to be? I wish it was cash.
My cell phone off.
Because I went over my limit by a few Thousand texts.
You realize I have to go back to speaking to people? I don't want to speak to people.
I can't.
I won't.
I'm sorry, what? Forget it.
Hey, Phil, it's 1000° out.
Can it is as up as it goes.
The air conditioning up? I wish I could close and go to the beach.
Today would be a perfect day for me.
To be wearing my mankini.
- You wear a - Yes, of course! All the men in my village, we wear them.
The sight of us is the only thing.
That drives the seals back into the sea.
I bet a lot of people working here would love to go to the beach.
Well, why don't we bring the beach to them? All we need is a little sand, the sound of waves A wading pool, some beach chairs, some spray misters.
People would pay for a quick little beach experience.
And I can make enough money to turn my phone back on! What do you say? Partners? Partners.
Hey, I couldn't help but eve-dropping.
If you guys have a problem with seals on the beach, - I can - Not gonna happen, Phil.
Fine.
But when the seals take over, don't come crying to Phil.
It will happen.
Just set it on the mat.
Guys, the gift that Bobby sent us.
For winning the tournament is finally here.
- I'll get a crowbar.
- Oh, no need third-degree black belt.
I'm always packing two.
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Um, what is it? It's a dude.
It's not a dude.
It's a piece of film history.
This is a statue of Bobby Wasabi from his classic 1974 movie - "dojo of wax.
" - Okay, so it's a dude made of wax.
I don't get it.
How is this stupid statue.
Supposed to show everyone that we're his #1 dojo? Don't you dare talk in that tone! And when Bobby comes here for the picture tomorrow, you'd better act grateful.
Yo, this thing's kinda creeping me out.
Its eyes are following me everywhere I go-ooo! Milton, we need to be more aggressive.
Go drum up some business.
Try Hey, that woman over there.
Since we're partners and I'm in the middle of folding towels, Why don't you go do it? You're just standing there.
Look, this is our beehive.
And in a beehive there are workers and there's the queen.
Why can't I be the Fine.
I'll be the worker.
Hello, ma'am.
I noticed you from across the courtyard.
And I must say you look really hot.
I'd like to take you to the beach, lay you down, Rub oil all over you ow ow ow! This is only making you hotter! Ow ow ow! Guys, guys, I've asked you 100 times keep the door closed.
All right? I'm trying to keep the air conditioning in.
The statue's made of wax.
I need to keep it cool in here.
- Okay.
- What's that? Oh, it's a sign we got from my Uncle's junkyard.
It used to hang over the men's store downtown.
- "we're #1"? - We didn't take the part that said "in men's underpants.
" I never understood why that store closed.
They sold great underpants at a fair price.
Okay, what's the sign doing here? That dumb statue isn't going to show anyone we won the tournament.
Yeah, it's our way of letting people know we're #1.
Oh, especially cute girls who can read.
That's right I have a type.
Come on, at least let us turn it on.
- Let's see what it looks like lit up.
- Okay, fine.
- Yes! Go to the other side.
- Go ahead and plug it in.
- All right.
- Hold up, ready? Oh great.
Your cruddy sign blew our power out.
I think our cruddy sign blew the power out.
And it's not just us.
The power's out in the whole mall.
- What? - Yeah.
Oh no.
No no no! There's no air conditioning.
It's already getting warmer in here.
Oh no.
Oh, this isn't good.
"exposure to temperatures.
" Above 74° will cause statue to soften.
"And result in permanent disfigurement.
" that's it my life is over.
Bobby's going to be here in four hours for the photo shoot, And when he gets here, he's going to meet blobby.
- Blobby Wasabi, that's - Shut it, Jerry! I can just kiss goodbye my cover of "karatefancy" magazine.
This heat wave is going to kill Bobby Wasabi! Rudy, you've gotta calm down.
We've just gotta figure this out, okay? Don't you dare tell me what to do! All right.
Just keep fanning Bobby.
Man, this is the worst heat wave this city's ever had.
And because of us, everyone's air conditioning's out.
At least no one knows it's our fault.
I know it was your fault! You karate people, you did this! Because of your fancy underpants sign, my meat is going bad.
And my goat is drinking out of the toilet bowl.
Phil, Phil, I tried calling an electrician, but they're all busy.
Okay, you come with me to the roof.
If I don't get the power back on, My wife will go crazy and miss the latest episode.
Of "the real housewives of hakmakistan.
" Rudy, what about the statue? What should we do? Just take him someplace cold.
If it melts, my dream of being.
On the cover of "karatefancy" melts with it.
Don'worry, nothing's going to happen to this statue.
All we gotta do is take it someplace cold.
Let's go, come on.
We should probably bring Bobby with us.
and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
This blackout is the best thing that ever happened to us.
With no air conditioning, people can't wait.
To get their hot feet into our cool water.
Now go squeegee off the sweaty guy.
I just squeegeed him twice.
I think he likes it too much.
Just do it.
Towels are expensive.
And when you're done, sell some of this fancy imported water.
It's from the french alps.
It's from the hose behind reptile world.
It's called maximizing profits.
Every dime brings me closer to getting my cell phone back on.
This is Dale "heat wave" Davis, coming to you live.
From the Bay view mall.
It is so hot, I literally have a swamp in my pants.
But two young entrepreneurs have found a way to turn.
A record-breaking heat wave into cold hard cash.
Oh, it's not just cash, Dale.
We also accept checks and credit cards.
And if you come down between the hours of 5:00 and 6:00, I'll have the boy fan ya.
People anymore.
Not fanning.
It makes me feel cheap.
I'm sorry.
Is this your partner? Uh, yes, my silent partner.
Who should be fluffing towels right now.
You know, I'm sick and tired of you bossing me around.
We'll talk about this later.
The man is trying to do a story.
Yeah? You want a story? - Our sunblock.
- Yonnaise.
And we made our lemonade with pool water.
I that's it! This interview is over! Head on down.
Free fans.
This is Dale dyvis reporting live from the Bay view mall.
And we're out.
I had some of that lemonade.
- Are you sure you know what you're doing? - Trust me, Rudy.
In my country I am the village electrician.
I know all about the new technologies.
Okay.
There is your problem.
Where is the goat? Where is the treadmill? Where is the carrot on a stick that the goat chases.
On the treadmill to make the power happen? Get out of the way, please.
Maybe if I reset the circuit breaker, the power will go back on.
That's your problem.
You can't send a Cat to do a goat's job.
That's tip tip.
He probably just climbed in there to get out of the heat.
It worked.
The air conditioner's back on.
Our problems are over! Hey, Rudy, be careful there.
The compressor just kicked in.
It's going to send out a blast of air.
I think I can handle a little air, Phil.
Rudy? Rudy? Where's Rudy? Oh! These are some fancy shoes.
Rudy, I found some great shoes.
You want one? come kick it with me.
Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, it's okay, it's okay.
I put him there.
He's not alive.
Blizzards' mancini Goes to the box for a two-minute penalty.
Hey, puckweed, find another penalty box.
This one's taken.
Whoa whoa.
Oh ow ow ow! I don't think you should be eating that fish.
It's for the penguins.
Oh no, this little guy doesn't mind.
See, that's the thing about penguins they're very generous.
- Right, little cutie? - His mother doesn't seem too happy.
No no, dude, trust me.
Penguins are really hey hey come on, kickin' it with you.
It sure is hot.
You know, a lot of stores in this mall give me a discount.
On account of I'm mall security and all.
Uh, sorry, Joan, we don't give discounts.
Oh okay, I see how we're gonna play it.
Game on.
I'm gonna need to see your sand permit.
Uh, please enjoy your free beach experience.
Mm-hmm, that's what I thought.
Ah! Milton, okay, I had an idea.
And put together a beach value pack.
It has seaweed necklaces and sun reflectors.
Now I want you to push them, push them hard! I'm not selling these! First of all, sun reflectors are dangerous.
Second of all, these seaweed necklaces are just wilted lettuce.
It's called maximizing profits.
It's called ripping people off.
- I quit.
- What? Get back here.
- Don't you dare.
- Ugh.
It's little tip tip.
Hi.
- Ohh.
- Wait, why is he turning around like that? Oh, he thinks that the sand is a litter box.
Oh no.
Oh dear.
Everybody Evacuate the beach! Evacuate the beach! This is not a drill.
We've got a code brown.
Doody on the beach! Doody on the beach! Come back! I'll have the boy clean it.
They're not coming back, are they? Would you? No.
Okay, you guys, this way.
Open the door.
Yeah, there we go.
- Oh yes! - Oh yes! Oh, Bobby, you're back.
I'm so happy.
I never thought I'd see you again.
You're limping.
What happened? Nothing much.
Just fixed the power, got blown off the roof, Landed in front of the veterinary hospital Nice people.
They patched me up and gave me a coupon for a free flea bath.
Hey, where's your shoes? I have no idea.
What happened to him? - Oh.
- Old lady, hockey player, - Angry penguin.
- We've all been there.
Guys, Bobby's going to be here in one hour for the photo shoot.
He's right.
Everyone put on your gis.
I want you all sparring when Bobby gets here.
Why don't you go next door and get yourself a flea bath? You smell like fish.
Oh, swag! I can't believe it.
How did this happen? Oh oh, Bobby.
Oh, Bobby.
It's not so bad.
Your legs just got a little soft, that's all.
We'll just go call the doc.
He'll fix you up.
He'll fix you up real good.
I can't tell if I'm talking to his face or his butt.
I think it's a little bit of both.
I don't get it.
It's cool in here.
The air conditioning is back on.
That reflector out on the beach is shooting a beam of sun in here.
There's nothing left but a meed mound of man.
It should have been me! It should've Bobby, you're early.
How is my #1 dojo? Rudy, are you ready for our picture? Is that the statue.
At I gave you? I honor this dojo with a gift.
And this this is how you repay me? I thought you'd turned this dojo around, But I was wrong.
There will be no cover of "karatefancy" for you.
Wait! It wasn't Rudy.
It was me.
I put up a weird #1 sign.
Because I wanted everyone to know that we won the tournament.
And it caused a blackout.
It was me too.
Rudy taught us true champions don't have to brag.
Especially with a secondhand underpants sign.
It was my fault.
I was angry at Kim, So I threw down the sun reflector which melted the statue.
I love science, but she can be a cruel mistress.
No, Milton, I'm to blame.
I was so obsessed with getting my phone turned back on.
That I went all psycho boss on you.
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
Who is responsible for melting me? I am.
Guys, thanks, But this is my dojo and I'm responsible for what happens here.
Bobby, with all due respect, Rudy is a great Sensei.
Boo-hoo, we melted your man candle.
Get over it! Well, maybe you're right, Little cute terrifying girl.
But what I just saw here.
Is what the Wasabi code is all about Honor Friendship And loyalty.
I'm not quite sure how the underpants fit in.
Or why that one has a dog bow in his hair, But I do know.
This dojo is #1.
And you're right, Jack.
Everyone should see that.
- Uh - No! No no no.
I don't think you should Looks like your cruddy sign blew out the power.
Bye.
Hey guys.
Hey.
How was the photoshoot for Karate Fancy? Only the highlight of my life.
Yeah I don't get it.
The power's out in the rest of the mall, but Phil's has power.
OK ***, time to turn on the blender.
Get on your and run, baby.
Run like the wind! Yeah.
You like our new shoes, huh? My shoes.
Hey **.