Kid Cosmic (2021) s01e09 Episode Script

[Kid] Woo-hoo!
[energetic rock music plays]
Stop fighting! The aliens aren't evil!
Stop fighting…
the aliens!
[alien snarling]
-Emerald Wing, enemy on your six!
-Stop fighting!
The aliens aren't ev--
[Rosa] Kid!
-[Papa G] What are you doing?
-[Jo] Get out!
Oh no! Danger!
-[Kid screams]
-[all] Kid!
[yelling]
Stay safe, citizens!
No! No! No!
[grunts]
[tinny pop music plays]
Uh, I'm sorry, Kid. I know you're hurting.
I'm not sure how I can help.
[sighs]
No, I'm sorry, Papa G.
I'm sorry I stole the rings.
I'm sorry I ran away.
I… I couldn't face the fact
that I wasn't the hero I wanted to be.
[Jo] Oh, Kid.
None of us were
the heroes you wanted us to be.
No, you were better
than I wanted you to be!
I'm sorry. That sounded weird.
What I mean is…
You guys are great. Like really great.
And it wasn't rings
that made you great.
It was you.
Are we a team again?
I hope so, Rosa.
So, it turns out those evil alien bad guys
are actually nice alien good guys.
And I was thinking, powers or no powers,
how about we help them and save the day?
-[Tuna] The Kid's right.
-You can talk?!
Good to see you, Kid.
He can talk!
Glad you're okay.
The cat can talk!
Love ya. [purrs]
Plenty of time for hugs later.
This talking cat's got
some squawking to do, so listen up.
Now, I know what the Kid is suggesting
sounds a touch far-fetched.
Could all these evil aliens
really be fine and friendly folk?
Is it any more far-fetched
than a superhero team
comprised of a toddler,
a teen, an old man, and a cat?
Who would believe that hooey?
He would, that's who.
He believed in us. 
So no matter how kooky it sounds,
I think we should believe the kid.
[in own voice] Kid Cosmic.
Chuck? What are you doing here?
Here to make amends for past evil deeds.
Chuck sorry, Great Leader.
So, what do you say, Local Heroes?
Sounds like
the space people need our help.
I do too!
I can't do it without you.
[uplifting music playing]
[Kid] Woo-hoo!
What? No!
No!
Papa G?
[Tuna] I know you're a pacifist.
But some things
are worth fighting for, George.
You dishonor Kid Cosmic!
[grunting]
What's in the box?
Laser guns?
-Meaningful mementos of long lost parents?
-Rings of Power!
[grunting]
What's in the box?
[all] What's in the box?
What? Oh, it's-- it's, well, um…
Super suits! [chuckles]
Me and the Gs made 'em a while ago.
Was gonna surprise you with 'em,
but instead of saying,
"Great idea, Kid.
Let's help those aliens!"
I decided to play it cool
and drive in all quiet
and go inside like Mr. Mysterious.
Then I'd come out with this trunk
and you'd be all,
"Gasp! What's in the box?"
-Then I'd pop it open and yell--
-Suit up!
-Yep, that.
-And they say I talk a lot.
[heroic theme music playing]
[singer vocalizing]
Now what?
We save the day!
How?
[groans] We suck.
No, I have a plan!
It's stupid, but it's a plan!
Go, Locals, go!
[heroic theme music continues]
Put your hands in your pockets
Move your arms around ♪
[indistinct singing]
[singer vocalizing]
[engine turns over]
[tires squeal]
[whimsical ice cream truck music plays]
-Can't it go any faster?
-Sure thing!
[music speeds up in tempo]
[laughs] This is so dumb.
-Think it's gonna work?
-Probably not, but hey!
Let's see what happens!
[Biker] Good job, Earth Force.
Way to enforce the force of the earth!
Now let's round up those evil aliens.
[Biker] Well done, team.
These aliens will think twice
before they mess with Earth again.
Danger! Ice cream!
[Kid] span style="style2"People of Earth Force!
[zany music playing]
[grunting]
[Papa G] Whoo-hoo!
[laughing]
I have been bestowed
with cosmic knowledge.
And I shall use it to save
the not-evil alien invaders.
These visitors mean the earth no harm!
[Biker grunts] Get rid of that kid!
…far away, for they are here
for a nobler…
purpose.
-[Jo] Kid.
-[Kid] I'll get to the point next time.
Stop fighting!
The bad guys…
aren't bad guys!
[groans]
[Biker] Yes, yes.
No!
[brakes screech]
Take them out!
[growls]
[Kid] span style="style2"I repeat!
Stop fighting!
[loud bang]
[dog snarling]
[chuckles]
[all grunting]
[grunts] Where'd that ornery puppy get to?
Bad dog!
-Good girl!
-Yes, span style="style2"gracias, Rosa.
You saved our bacon yet again.
How are we gonna save the aliens?
With the Kid Cosmobile destroyed,
we need another plan.
Kid Cosmobile?
-No good?
-Nah. I kind of like it.
Trying to tell the Earth Force to stop
has been like shouting into the wind.
The only one they listen to
is Biker in Black.
Well, why don't we go have a chat
with Mr. In Black?
-See if we can talk sense into him.
-[scoffs] Easier said than done.
That big rig bunker's heavily guarded.
We can't just go moseying on in.
So we'll switch into stealth ninja mode.
Mode? I have no modes! Let alone "ninja."
How about cat burglar style?
I mean, our team has an actual cat!
Nah, what we need is…
a dog!
Come on, Papa G. You made progress
tinkering with the collars
from the Death Dog diner fight.
Yeah, well, me and the Gs figured
there's no bad dogs, only bad owners.
So we did tinker around.
Came close a few times,
but then there were some that were…
not so close.
[clone screaming]
[dog snarling]
[dog whimpering]
We may want to rethink this.
Now, give me a minute or two.
I think I can whoop this thing.
If I just reverse the polarity here--
-[dog snarling]
-Nope! Maybe this circuit--
-Ow! Let go. Papa needs that arm!
-[dog snarls]
One more fix…
-[Papa G yells]
-[dog growls]
[laughing]
Think a few bones might be broke.
[grunts]
Nope, I'm good!
So is he!
-Her!
-Her!
[whispers] Good dog!
Good dog.
Ha-ha!
Thought you could defeat
Kid Cosmic and the Loc-- Hey!
We didn't know we were doing
the name and posing thing.
You gotta tell us this stuff.
I was ready.
Mr. Government Biker Man, sir?
Mr. In Black.
We have something really important
to tell you. The bad guys aren't bad guys!
What's that now?
Yeah! If you look carefully,
you'll see that each of the alien races
have the same power
as one of the stones.
Really? You don't say.
[Kid] It's true! Each of the alien races
are only after the stone
that matches the power they already have.
None of them are here for all five stones.
No! You gotta be kidding me!
Each of them only wanted
the one stone that belongs to them.
Why, Kid.
This changes everything!
See, guys? You don't need superpowers
to save the day.
[laughs]
Of course you do!
[gasps] Hey!
[grunts]
Kid, I've been tracking alien activity
since before you were born.
It doesn't matter
what galaxy or planet they come from.
They all think they're so smart,
with their superior intellects
and advanced technology. Ha!
Earth's been disrespected, laughed at,
treated like the wimps of the Milky Way.
Well, no more!
With these five cosmic Stones of Power,
the earth will be respected. Feared!
We will be the number one
super power of the galaxy!
And there's nothing you or your team
of local losers can do to stop it.
[Tuna Sandwich yowling]
Ah!
[grunts] No!
No!
[closing theme music starts]
Government came
Dressed in black ♪
Locked away for no good reason ♪
As you sleep, late at night
Watching you when you don't see them ♪
Wah ♪
Down in the secret lab… ♪
[singing indistinctly]
One, two, three, four ♪
[singing indistinctly]
It's happening now ♪
Now ♪
It's happening now ♪