Knight Rider (1982) s01e09 Episode Script

Michael, that car.
| It could've been my twin.
- It almost killed me.
| - I am the Knight Automated Roving Robot.
- How may I serve you? | - It is very dangerous for you and for KITT.
Stop it! You'll kill him! I am warning you: | Change course at once.
I am not in control, KARR.
Get back! Get back! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight | into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist.
Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent, the helpless, | the powerless, in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
Huh? Huh? | Just like I said, Rev.
This is the place.
| I don't like this, Tony.
"Thou shalt not trespass on thy | neighbor," or something like that.
Rev, Rev, Rev.
Don't start with | the Ten Commandment stuff again.
Here.
Have another slug.
You'll | feel real warm and spiritual.
We ain't gonna find nothin' in here.
When a | zillionaire like Knight dies, they clean out the joint.
Yeah.
You see that? You think they got guards | around here for nothin'? Come on.
If that guard comes back, | we'll take care of him.
I got a bad feelin' about this.
And I got a good one, | just like my horoscope said.
Guys this rich, they got gold | and silver on their plumbing.
Huh? Michael, do you realize | that it's 2:32 in the morning? This is no time | to perform an errand.
KITT, we gotta secure the old laboratory.
The city | takes possession of it first thing in the morning.
Anyway, what's your problem, huh? Am I | keeping you from a hot date or somethin'? Of course not, but I need to | charge my power packs occasionally.
And speaking of dates, we could've | performed this task this afternoon if you hadn't | visited that Rosalie woman.
It's Roselynn.
Roselynn.
Rosalie's the | other one.
She lives down by the beach.
Michael, why do you need to socialize with | so many women? Wouldn't one be sufficient? KITT, you're beginning to sound like my mother.
| What's wrong with a little companionship? - Huh? You can understand that.
| - No, Michael.
I cannot.
When you're one of a kind, | companionship does not compute.
Nothin'.
Come on.
Tony, look.
Ah, that's just | to scare people away.
Hey, this place is big.
Let's go.
Are you kiddin'? | It's a gold mine.
Look.
Wait.
It's gone now.
I think we should beat it.
I think you're right.
Oh, no, no.
No.
| Stop! No.
! Hello? That's funny.
Funny? I detect no source | of amusement.
No.
I mean, there's supposed | to be a guard on duty.
Come on, KITT.
| Let's check it out, huh? - What's wrong? Didn't you hear me? | I said come on.
- Michael, I'm getting some unusual readings.
| - Readings of what? I don't know.
They appear to be | sensor echoes of my own telemetry.
But that's impossible.
Buddy, if it's impossible, | ignore it.
Come on.
- Michael, I have a strange feeling about this.
| - What are you talkin' about? - You don't have feelings.
| - I know.
That's what's strange about it.
All right.
Somethin' strange is goin' on.
| I want you to stay out here and back me up.
- Stay here, huh? | - You don't have to tell me twice.
Lab three.
Lab three.
KITT, we gotta get this guy | to a hospital, buddy.
Michael, that car.
It could've been | my twin.
It was exactly like me.
Not exactly, buddy.
| It almost killed me.
That was the hospital.
| The security guard is still unconscious, but he's out of danger, | I'm glad to say.
- In an hour or two, he'll be able to give you a statement.
| - I'll settle for a statement from you.
- I beg your pardon? | - Why wasn't I told about the other car? - Oh, Michael, please.
| - No "Michael, please.
" I had a right to know.
Yes.
Indeed you did.
| Let me explain.
Six months before we found you | in the desert, near to death, Wilton activated what was probably | the crowning invention of his life.
KITT? | No.
KARR.
- K-A-R-R.
| - What's KARR? The Knight Automated Roving Robot.
That was | Wilton's title for his prototype vehicle.
- I think I like KITT better.
| - You can say that again.
Now, KITT's primary function is to | serve you, to protect you from harm.
The KARR, the earlier model, | had no such programming.
Instead, its primary function | was self-preservation.
- And that was a mistake? | - A major one.
- Like not telling me about this whole thing? | - Don't look at me.
- That was before my time.
| - Consider the circumstances.
Just as Wilton realized he'd made a mistake | by not programming KARR properly, his company was virtually toppled | from within by the very same people who left you for dead | on that desert highway.
As we struggled to save your life | and I attempted to build a safer car, the earlier model | was put in storage.
I thought Wilton had had it dismantled | before he died, but I was wrong.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I still don't see how one simple computer | program can make all that much difference.
Michael, KITT's primary function, | to protect human life, is, for want of a better word, | altruistic.
But KARR, | without that programming, is self-serving, | almost animalistic in nature.
Being devoid of a conscience, | it's potentially dangerous.
If the people who now have it | misuse it, program it with information | it considers threatening, they could create a menace that could | quickly grow beyond their control.
- Devon? | - Yes, Michael? - I think we should get that car back.
| - So do I.
- Are you awake? | - We're movin'.
We're movin'.
Movin'.
Huh? It wasn't a dream.
You're here.
I'm here.
| It's here.
Wait a minute.
| Wait-Wait a minute.
- Where are we? | - This is where your companion told me to stop last night.
I did? Actually, most of | what you said was incoherent.
I did, however, distinctly | hear the word "stop.
" - You're just a car, ain't ya? | - Not just a car.
I am the Knight | Automated Roving Robot.
KARR, if you prefer.
I am the prototype | of the car of the future.
I mean, you're a regular | real thing, not just something out of a | nightmare, like you looked last night.
- Nothing has changed since last night.
| - Oh, yeah.
That's easy for you to say.
Wh Where did you come from, anyway, | and how did you get in that building? That edifice was the laboratory where I was first activated and where | I was also deactivated.
Deactivated? You mean | somebody turned you off? My creator, Wilton Knight He brought me into the world | and then turned on me.
Aww.
Take it easy.
| Take it easy.
My old man same way.
Yeah.
You can't count on | nobody 'cept me and Tony.
Interesting.
I will enter that | information in my data banks.
I am indebted to both of you.
| You have reactivated me.
How may I serve you? Serve us? | What do you mean, serve us? I have checked my data | on basic human desires.
Therefore, | I understand your needs.
- Come on.
| - You wish to eat? Well, yeah.
- You wish to drink? | - Yeah.
You wish to reproduce? | Yeah.
Which one first? How 'bout a couple | couple of eggs, sunny side up? I have no eggs.
Perhaps you | can direct me to a chicken.
Ah, what are you? A comedian? I am the Knight Automated Roving | Robot.
KARR, if you prefer.
I am the prototype | of the car of the future.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
| It's comin' back to me.
Last night, there was a guy | and another car just like you, huh? You are mistaken.
| I am one of a kind.
No, no, no.
Rev's right.
I saw it too.
I am the prototype | of the car of the future.
What you saw was merely | an inferior production line model, a pale copy of the original.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, | yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You must be right, KARR.
This guy | has got a touchy motor.
Very well.
Now, | may I take you somewhere for food? Well, yeah.
Sure.
| Why not? Do you wish to drive | or shall I? Go ahead.
Far out.
Far out.
! It's a miracle.
I detect numerous purveyors of food.
| Please tell me where you wish to go.
Uh, how about | the 3 Rings? It's over there on the right.
When this guy wants to go | somewhere, he don't fool around.
Ladies and gentlemen | and children of all ages, welcome to the center ring.
The ringmaster is ready | for your order.
What is that voice? | That's just the ringmaster, KARR.
Ringmaster? | I scan no such person.
I'll have, uh | What'd they call that breakfast thing? This is a primitive remote | devoid oflocomotion.
I said, "The ringmaster is ready.
" Uh, the Tip-Top Ten? | No.
That's not it.
Can I have your order, please? | Tony, Rev, the operator of this device | must be nearby.
Huh? What | are you talkin' about? You guys wanna snap it up? | I don't have all day.
There.
Did you hear? | He is becoming abusive.
- You wise guys or what? | - Amazing.
His anger grows.
KARR, be quiet now.
Please.
All right.
That's it.
Come on.
Get outta here | before I come out there and throw you out.
- Ya hear me? | - Do not fear, my friends.
I will protect you.
Brace for collision.
You're askin' for it.
You see? Most of the interior | was empty.
- It was a clever trick, my friends, but not clever enough.
| - Come on! We gotta get outta here! But you haven't eaten yet.
| Perhaps you wish to reproduce.
- Forget that.
Don't you hear the alarm? | - That harmonic disturbance? What does it mean? | It means the cops are comin'! - Is that a problem? | - Are you kiddin'? If the cops catch us, | they'll throw us in the slammer.
- What is the slammer? | - You remember that room you were in? I will never forget it.
Well, the slammer's just like that.
I | do not wish to go back to the slammer.
- How may I avoid it? | - You may get us out of here as fast as you can, you stupid hunk of tin.
Michael, I hope the security guard | has some answers for us.
Those sensor echoes last night | were very puzzling.
- Michael? | - Yeah, KITT? What is it? You're awfully quiet.
| Is something bothering you? Yeah, buddy.
Something is.
| I'm a little worried about you.
- About me? | - Yeah.
This whole thing has been a bit of a shock, you know? Learning about another car.
| Having to hunt it down.
I mean, if I'm a little shook up, | I can imagine how you feel.
Michael, really.
By now | you should know me better than that.
I admit that | I was somewhat surprised to discover that I was not, in fact, | a prototype vehicle, but There.
You see? | You're upset.
- It's gotta be a little blow to your ego, right? | - Not at all.
On the contrary.
It's a compliment.
Instead | of being a problem-ridden prototype, I'm the new, improved model.
Tony, slow down.
Please! | Slow down? I'm not driving! - KARR, you gotta stop! | - Negative, Tony.
I do not wish | to go back to the slammer.
You and your big mouth! Attention all units! | Attention all units! Black Trans-Am reported | heading south on Vincente Street.
Come on, KITT.
| You can level with me.
Weren't you even | a little bit annoyed when you found out there was another car | and nobody told you? Michael, why should that be upsetting? | There's a perfectly reasonable explanation.
- Oh, yeah? What? - Of course.
I wasn't informed | due to the all-too-common problem of human error.
- KITT, go to police frequency.
| - Of course.
- Last seen | at 3 Ring drive-in restaurant, - Did you hear that? | - Okay.
Let's go, buddy.
The hospital can wait.
I should think so.
That other car is going | to give Trans-Am a terrible reputation.
I have evaded our pursuers.
You may resume manual | control now.
Thanks a lot.
First thing we do is | take these wheels back where we got 'em.
I do not wish | to go back to the slammer.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
| He's just kidding, KARR, honest.
Uh, would you put it back | on that manual thing? Come on.
You can | trust me and the Rev.
Yes.
That information | is in my data banks.
I can trust you.
Would you excuse us | for a minute, KARR? Uh, don't go away.
I wanna talk to you.
| I wanna talk to you.
We could've ended up in jail today, | all for a lousy, mechanical ringmaster.
I got two | outstanding warrants, Tony.
I don't need no Wizard of Oz car puttin' | me behind the eight ball for nothing.
Hey, Rev, | I'm with you all the way.
You are? | Sure.
If we're gonna walk on the edge, let's | do it for somethin' worthwhile, right? Not just the Tip-Top Tent.
Come on, Tony.
We were lucky | today.
Next time, we gonna Next time, | it's gonna be the same thing.
Did you see the way | that car handled those cops? Those moves? Those turns? Rev, with this car, | we could go all the way.
We could go for the We could go | for the brass ring.
Nothin' on this earth | could stop us.
You and me? Excuse me.
Tell me | what happened here.
Is that your car? | Yes.
Why do you ask? Was there | another car like mine here? I'm glad the commissioner | straightened things out.
You can understand | the confusion.
Maybe until we nail the stolen car, | you should paint yours another color.
We'll take it under advisement, | Officer.
Thank you so much.
I hope you didn't take that suggestion | seriously, Mr.
Miles.
I am quite happy | with basic black.
Look.
Aren't we overreacting a bit here? All | these guys did was blow away a ringmaster.
They didn't even steal | any hamburgers.
Michael, KARR is like a loaded gun | in the hands of a small child.
It's only a matter of time | before there's a real explosion.
Bonnie, unless I'm mistaken, you seem | to be repositioning my main power booster.
Uh, yes.
I'm, um, making room | for a new component.
- What kind of component? | - We don't know yet if it's going to be necessary, KITT.
Just planning ahead.
That's all.
I see.
Michael, considering the confusion of the law | enforcement authorities regarding myself and KARR, I'll understand it if you want to work | without me until this crisis is over.
No, buddy.
That's okay.
Remember.
I had a lot of partners when I | was a cop.
You're the best of any of'em.
Thank you, Michael.
I, of course, | make no such generalization about you.
However, I project odds of 1,000 to one against | my meeting a more compatible human than yourself.
Thanks, buddy.
Okay, partner.
You | got any ideas about that other car? Maybe some chinks in the armor, huh? I have | insufficient data to be certain, Michael.
However, since KARR is as powerful | and as nearly indestructible as myself, Zeno's Paradoxes | should be a factor.
- Zeno? | - A Greek philosopher and scientist.
335 to 263 B.
C.
- Very good, Mr.
Miles.
| - Thank you.
Michael, Zeno first postulated a question | which my twin would certainly be aware of.
To wit, what would happen if an | irresistible force met an immovable object? What? | I see what you mean.
Well, so, KITT, | what's the answer? No one knows, Bonnie.
| No one knows.
Seven.
Look at this! | Eight! I'm gonna buy me my own church.
Again and again they've struck.
The fact that nobody's been hurt is either a miracle or a | coincidence, but we can't assume a continuance of either.
So what do we do now? | There's one approach, Michael, but it's very dangerous | for you and for KITT.
Go on.
We all know that KITTand KARR are made of a virtually | indestructible alloy.
Hardly anything could damage | either car hardly anything.
That is, except this.
Whoa.
| That's very interesting.
It's a resonating laser, Michael.
It's | powerful enough to send a burst of energy directly into | KARR's only vulnerable spot: The front scanner here.
The scanner is protected by an alloy | grill.
Only a dead-on shot can work.
Then the scanner will blow, | and with it, all of KARR's systems.
It'll become an immobilized | hunk of metal.
Bonnie.
That's, uh | That's very impressive.
Well, it seems doable.
Wait a minute.
| Why all the long faces? To perform this task, Michael, you and | KITT must be directly in front of KARR.
For maximum effect, you must fire the laser | at a distance no greater than 100 yards.
And you must hold the laser | on target for at least two full seconds.
Two seconds? A hundred yards? KITT and KARR can travel a | hundred yards in two seconds.
Yes.
That's the problem.
By the way, the laser's | only good for two shots.
Any more would | deplete KITT's batteries.
Oh-la-la! Welcome to Easy Street, | amigo.
Easy Street? It's automobile heaven, | right, KARR? I am unfamiliar | with your reference, Rev.
However, there is no cause | for celebration.
We have a problem.
Problem? | Like, uh, what problem? I have analyzed | my self-monitors, and my beta and lambda circuits | are in need of realignment.
Also, the fiber optics in my scanners | have suffered a 20% reduction in opacity, probably due | to my long incarceration.
- What do you want? A tune-up | or something? - Hardly.
I require attention from an | experienced cybernetic technician.
Cyber, uh, "nician"? Where do you find one of them? We | have seen a car similar to myself.
Since I am the prototype, it is most likely an inferior | production line copy.
However, someone | must own it and, therefore, maintain it.
By following this line of reasoning, | we can locate the individual who cares for that other vehicle.
Sure.
Sure.
I was | just gonna say that.
Then you can get that person | and bring them here.
We can't do that.
| Why? - Is there a problem? | - Yeah.
It's called kidnapping.
I am unfamiliar with that term.
I only | know that I require skilled maintenance.
Uh | You're, uh You're gettin' a conscience kind | of late in the game, you know that? Tony, I know I'm no saint, but nothin' | we've done's hurt anybody so far.
You're talking about just grabbin'somebody | off the Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Relax.
Relax, relax, relax.
So we don't do it.
| We don't? But KARRjust said | No.
Leave it to me.
It sounds good, but it's | about as smart as a toaster.
I'll buy him some spark plugs.
| He'll be real happy.
Then, when he's in tip-top | shape, we pull one big job, and then whoa, whoa, whoa | then it's you and me ?? Flyin' down to Rio | with you-o and me-o ?? Huh? Huh? | What do you say? Okay.
Okay.
| I like that.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, you get some rest.
I'll go break the news | to motormouth.
Okay, KARR.
| You want a technician, I'll get you a technician.
Once the laser is calibrated, Michael, | you or KITT can fire it quite easily.
As you see, the triggering | mechanism is quite simple.
I don't know what bothers me more: The fact that this | is a long shot or that I'm stupid enough to do it.
The security system.
- KITT, where are you? | - I'm in your parking space, Michael.
- Where else would I be? | - Meet me at the main building.
Something's up.
Very well.
Hello.
What the devil's | going on? We tried to stop it, Mr.
Miles, | but it ran the main gate.
What ran the main gate? | The car, Mr.
Miles.
The car.
The car.
Security, this is Dr.
Barstow.
| What's happening with the alarm system? KITT, where are you, | buddy? Come on.
There he is! That's not KITT! - KARR, get rid of this guy.
| - Very well.
KITT, KARR was here.
! | It's got Bonnie and Michael.
! That way! Well done, Mr.
| Miles.
I'll take it from here.
Michael Michael, | I'm on my way.
Hang on.
Yeah, that's easy for you to say.
Stop it! You'll kill him! - KARR, somebody's behind us.
| - Yes.
I see.
It is the inferior production line copy.
I heard that, KARR, | and you haven't seen anything yet.
Michael, I'm in position.
| Get ready to jump.
Okay, KITT, | let's pour it on! You waste your time, my twin.
| You cannot triumph over a prototype.
Desist your pursuit.
| You will be damaged.
KARR, I didn't know you cared.
KARR, perhaps you should be a little | more careful and a lot less belligerent.
Michael, we're | approaching a residential neighborhood.
We dare not continue this chase.
| Innocent people may be harmed.
Look out! | Oh, no! - Anything? | - No, Michael.
Except for that brief reading on the other highway, I have no indication | of KARR.
All right.
Let's try a new direction.
| How's the laser holdin'up? It's a rather tight fit, | but otherwise, it's fine.
I must point out that it cannot be | fired until it is properly calibrated, and Bonnie's the only one | who can do that.
She'll take care of it | when we find her.
- You mean if we find her.
| - No.
I mean when we find her.
Think positive, KITT.
| Just keep thinkin' positive.
Do not attempt | to sabotage me again.
I will defend myself.
| He means it, sweetheart.
- You want some, babe? | - No, thanks.
Even Michael Knight | wouldn't eat that stuff.
- Who's Michael Knight? | - When you find out, you'll wish you never asked.
Ha.
Well.
Hey, Tony, I thought you said | you didn't like talk Who is she? | Rev, look at this.
You kidnapped her, didn't you? You lied | to me, and you still went out and did it.
Rev, come here.
| Look.
Look, will you? I want you | to look at this.
- This is the big score.
| - I don't care about a big score.
! This has gone too far now, Tony.
! Here.
Come here.
KARR, I didn't | check your video system.
Do you mind? You have permission.
Will you knock off that stuff, Rev? If you're so pure and all Michael, I've just | picked up a strong reading.
One of KARR's sensor devices | has just been activated.
We need to make two more circuits | of the area to triangulate it, Michael.
You've got it.
You're not the man | I used to know, Tony.
It's that car that changed | ya.
It's the car.
Rev You know what Lucifer did | up in heaven before he fell? Don't start that holy stuff | with me again, Rev! Strong drink | made me fall from grace.
I didn't change! He made a machine, | Tony an infernal machine! And we gotta stop that machine before it's | too late.
! The police'll know what to do.
- Yo, yo.
What's this police stuff? | - Man.
Let go of me, Tony.
| It's for our own good! Like hell.
! | What about all the money? I don't care about the money.
! I | care about your immortal soul, Tony.
! You hunk of tin, | didn't you see her? I was watching you | deactivate the Rev.
Was he malfunctioning? Michael, what kept you? Get back! Get back! He jumped his buddy.
We should call | an ambulance.
We can do it on the way.
On the way to where? To the gems for the | museum exhibit.
That's where they're headed.
- Devon, this is Michael.
| - Michael, did you find Bonnie? Is she She's fine.
She's with me now, but KARR is going | after the gems of the new exhibit for the museum.
Jewels for the exhibit? | They'd still be in the county warehouse.
I'll meet you there | with reinforcements.
Okay.
- Are we too late? | - They're still inside.
Beautiful, huh, sweetheart? - KITT, you ready? | - Aren't I always? All right, Bonnie.
I think | you'd better get out.
Like hell, Michael.
This laser | has never been calibrated, and I'm the only one | that can fire it that way.
- Even KITT can't do it.
| - She's right, Michael.
Ah, you always | liked her better.
That thing ready? | It's almost calibrated.
KITT, keep him talkin; KARR, please desist from your actions.
| Many people may be hurt.
- That is no concern of mine.
| - Aw, forget the family reunion.
Get outta here! This conversation is non-productive.
Michael, Bonnie, my analysis of | KARR's movements leads me to believe he is maneuvering for a long enough | run to leap over the police barricade.
Come on, Bonnie.
Come on.
| Come on.
You ready? Come on.
Almost.
- Hey, hey.
What are you doin'? | - I must eliminate excess weight.
Oh, no.
| The calibration must be off.
Okay.
We'll | try another pass.
Let's go! Right now.
! That's our last shot.
You're not going after him? You wanna bet? He's gone.
KITT, scan for him, buddy.
Already scanning, Michael.
| KARR is taking the coastal road north.
L-90 North goes the same way.
| We'll cut him off.
Michael, you're putting us | on a collision course with KARR.
I noticed that too, Bonnie.
| Michael, what are you doing? We're gonna stop that car | one way or another.
Michael, I should point out | that KARR may be planning to ambush us.
I know that, KITT, | but we gotta try, buddy.
We gotta try.
KITT, I am warning you: | Change course at once.
- I am not in control, KARR.
| - Then tell the humans to turn away.
This is folly, KITT.
- He's right.
| - He's right.
- No way.
| - Michael, what are you doing? Remember Zeno | and that immovable object thing? - We're about to find out the answer.
| - Your lives mean nothing to me.
Michael, please.
Pardon the expression, | but he does have a few screws loose.
Turn.
KARR doesn't have my | programming to protect human life.
That's what I'm countin' on, buddy.
| What? Michael, I cannot allow you to jeopardize | your life.
I am assuming control.
No, you're not, KITT! Michael, you know all those times I've called | you irresponsible and impulsive? I didn't mean it.
Bonnie, remember all those times | I called you bossy and demanding? I didn't mean it either.
| Michael.
Bonnie.
Yes, KITT? | Why are you lying to each other? Turn away.
Turn away.
No! No! Whoo! Now that things are back to normal.
And at what a cost.
| All that destruction.
Not to mention | Zeno's Paradox could go unanswered | for 2,000 years.
Thank you.
| I have a question about that, Michael.
What made you so sure that KARRwould turn away | first? How did you know you wouldn't, uh - Chicken out? | - Thank you, Bonnie.
Yes, Michael.
How did you know | you wouldn't chicken out first? You provided that clue, KITT.
You kept tellin' me how you two | differed in your basic programming.
Yours is to protect human life, | but KARR's was self-preservation.
So, in head-to-head confrontation, | KARRwould always chicken out.
Eloquently put.
| Michael, I'm speechless.
- A likely story.
| - No.
Really.
Michael, your logic, in this case, is totally illogical, and yet it's absolutely correct.
This is just amazing.
No, KITT.
| It's just human.
Here's to KITT, huh? - To KITT.
| To KITT.
What do you say you and I go out for a | drive, huh? Little celebration of our own.
Get you a car wash.
A little wax.
Hey, I'll | let you beat me at chess again.
What do you say? Thank you, Michael, | but it has been a draining day.
- My power packs could use a rest.
| - Okay, pal.
- See you tomorrow.
| - Good night, KITT.
Good-bye.
Oh, yeah.
How does it feel | to be one of a kind again? As you know, Michael, I do not have feelings.
| However, for want of a better expression, being one of a kind | is a very familiar feeling.
Right.
| Good night, buddy.
Being one of a kind | is a very familiar feeling.
Michael Knight, a lone crusader | in a dangerous world, the world of the Knight Rider.