Maid Sama! (Kaichou wa Maid-sama!) (2010) s01e09 Episode Script

1 Once upon a time, there lived a grandmother and a grandfather.
The weather's great today.
Sakura Baa-san went to the river to do the laundry.
Yukimura Jii-san went to the mountain to get firewood which was what he was supposed to do, but instead he was helping with the laundry.
Then all of a sudden, a large peach came drifting down the river.
What is this!? Yay, I love peaches! Granny.
Grandmother and Grandfather took the peach home and Shine.
Tried to eat it.
Right then- From the peach, came out- Tada! I-I am will slay the Oni! Granny! A person came out of the peach! It's no time to be eating the peach.
I heard that the Oni are kidnapping young girls; terrifying the villagers.
My, what a fine child we have here.
Those atrocious Oni! Unforgivable! Calm down, Peach Boy.
Act naturally and you'll be fine.
Okay.
Granny.
When did you come up with the name? Well, Grandfather and Grandmother.
I'll be off! You're kinda hot, so take these with you.
It's on me.
Eat a lot of kibi-dango.
Thank you, Grandmother.
Take care! Good luck! What was this about? I don't know.
Let's eat the peach.
As such, Peach Boy went to slay the Oni and- he found Dog, Pheasant, and Monkey.
Why are we putting up with this? It's your fault, Dog! You got tricked by that guy! So did you, Monkey! It's your fault for not noticing, Pheasant! I told you it was suspicious! What are you guys doing? Good Samaritan there! Please help us! We're about to get killed after being tricked by a villain! Peach Boy saved the three who said they would do anything if he saved them.
But they tried to snag the kibi-dango from him, so he punished them.
See? That's why I had them tied up.
That's the bad guy! Who are you? I'm Usui.
I'm the Ring Master of the Moron Trio Circus.
That's our members.
So fishy! I went and started a circus group, but they're useless, so I was just planning to eat them.
I see.
If you're going to kill them for food's sake, then I can't stop you.
Please stop! We've only been practicing, so we ran out of food.
All the "training" was you whipping us! Now, who should I start with? I don't taste good! He's really tasty! No, he is! What are you saying? You're the yummiest! Hold on a moment.
Please help us.
Before you get eaten, I want to ask one thing.
Oh, so you won't Do you know where the Oni are? No, we don't.
I see.
Usui, if you can't pick one, I recommend mixing them in a soup.
I'm off now.
Wait! Wait! Wait! I don't know where the Oni live, but I do know a village where Oni appeared recently! It's a village with many young people, but the day after the Oni came, all the girls were missing.
Which village is this? We'll take you there if you save us.
Usui Sure.
But instead- Give me a kibi-dango.
And so the Peach Boy departed to search the Oni with Dog, Monkey, Pheasant, and a sketchy Ring Master of a circus group.
Where's our share of kibi-dango? I ate them all.
D'oh! But, this is kinda nice.
It's like a party led by a hero out to defeat evil.
Party? You're nuts! Do you think this is some kind of fun activity?! We're not on a field trip! It's not that kind of "party"! It means "a group of people that travel together to achieve a common goal"! So something like that is necessary, eh? In that case- We'll be a party that slays Oni! In short, we're the "Oni Slay Party"! It's a great name.
Any objections? Good, let's go.
So it's here, huh? Flag: Oni Slay Party The village where the Oni kidnapped all the girls.
It's completely tattered.
I don't sense a soul here.
I said that's mine! You plan on snatching it away from me?! That was the last one that grew from my farm! No, it's from my farm! Um Who are you? It's mine! That bastard! What I see here happened because of Oni? Something stinks.
What's wrong?! He ran away because of the smell.
Dog has a good sense of smell.
If you can't tolerate that level of smell, I suggest you leave this village now.
What do you mean? This is no longer a village any sane human can live in.
Hey! What happened? Are you all right? Ah, so they're out of the race, too.
Care to explain?! You see, none of us bathe anymore.
After the girls went missing, laundry and housekeeping all went downhill.
All the guys are going through a survival-mode lifestyle.
This is more like a war zone than a village.
The law of the jungle applies here.
But life in survival-mode is pretty fun.
It's really thrilling.
What are you going to do with the village like this when the girls come back?! They won't.
I mean, we're talking about Oni.
There's no way we can win.
Yeah.
Cut that crap! We'll go save the girls, so tell me where the Oni are! It's so peaceful.
So the Oni Island is beyond this ocean.
I can only see the horizon.
Can we trust those villagers? They sounded so irresponsible! They had no intention of helping us out! It totally looked like we were bothering them.
Let's not do this! We shouldn't go today! We might get different information from another village.
Okay.
Bon voyage! He doesn't listen to us What is this turtle? Let's flip it on its back.
Do it, do it! Hey, you guys.
What are you doing? He saved the turtle.
Could this lead to Lead to? I've heard of a story that goes like this: If you save a turtle, to show its gratitude, it puts you on its shell and takes you to the palace under the ocean.
Palace? What's this place like? The sexy Otohime-sama will serve you with plenty of seafood like sea bream and tuna, and will even give you a souvenir to go.
Seriously? Let's have it take us there.
But you must be careful of the box she gives you as a souvenir.
When you open it, smoke will come out and you will turn into an old man in no time.
Why does she give out such a dangerous object? Is the turtle trying to repay kindness with ingratitude? Wait.
Should we just leave that box unopened? Precisely.
If we don't open the box, we get to feast out and have fun with the hot and sexy Otohime-sama.
You guys.
Why are you talking so secretively? Yikes! N-Nothing! We'll go to Oni Island on this turtle's back.
We'll lead the way and check things out.
See you later! Isn't this about to turn into a separate story? I think it'll be fine.
I can't breathe! Was it trying to kill us? I can't swim! Will we be fine with this puny boat? What are we going to do if we get stranded? We don't even have any food.
If that happens, we'll eat you guys.
We knew it! Pheasant! You go find the Oni Island from the sky! Roger! We can't see any land Pheasant isn't returning.
He probably ran away.
Our bond is tight! You guys were offering each other when you were about to get eaten.
This can't be happening No way How could he run away alone I'm hungry Me too Look, I had one left.
It's mine! Give it to me! Get off! Did you guys drop this normal kibi-dango? Or is it this stack of postcards that could win you a year's worth of kibi-dango? Or, is it this postcard that could win you the Hokkaido Sea Food Set that gives you king crab, sea urchin, salmon roe, and scallops? Um, that normal kibi-dango.
I see.
You're an honest man.
As a prize, I'll give you this postcard that could win you the Hokkaido Sea Food Set.
Where's the postbox? There's one in the village by the ocean, 30km from here due north-west-north.
When do we get the prize? The drawing is in a month.
The winner will be notified through the actual mailing of the prize.
She got away.
Give back the kibi-dango! What are you eating? Shizuko Baa-san.
Have a peach.
Prez.
Are you sleepy? Get some rest then.
I'll stay up for you.
You know? Don't touch me.
I'm traveling with you guys from a turn of events, but I don't trust you guys.
Especially, you, Usui! You're too suspicious! Inner side, the looks, and everything else are! Then do as you please.
Hey! Hey! Isn't that Pheasant? He's back! Help me! Help me! I see something like a rope coming out of Pheasant.
Help me! Help me! They're going to kill us! You know? I bet he picked up a stranded ship.
How considerate of him.
Huh? So your friends are the ones I see on that cheap boat? What a letdown.
I don't think I can get much out of them, so I hope you'll let me have some fun at least.
To start things out, beg for your life.
You stupid Pheasant! Don't get captured by a pirate! You should have sacrificed yourself! You heartless bunch! Could it be?! Is it the turtle from before? Then, it came to say thank you? Would you promise not to look inside? Sure! Sure! Mustn't peek! She must have brought an amazing weapon! Isn't this about to turn into another story again? I think it'll be fine.
What is she doing? A mysterious guy is sleeping there! Who is he?! Get lost! What kind of a stupid skit was that? That's enough! Oh, so you were enjoying the peaches.
We still have plenty.
Eat all the peaches you want.
Granny I can't play along with this.
Oh? So you sliced the bullet with your sword? Interesting.
You come here.
Come up.
Oh fine.
No, that's impossible! I suggest you plug your ears.
This ship is really flammable! I think you should get away.
Yeah.
What an interesting bunch.
T-Thank you.
My pleasure.
On another note, it's morning already.
I'm tired.
Hey, look.
So it finally appears.
Oni Island! Hey, can we really beat them? We don't even have a weapon.
I know! At a time like this, we'll use that little trick.
What little trick? Tada! A straw? We're going to trade this with one thing after another.
It's just a straw now, but eventually, it'll turn into an amazing weapon! Seriously?! You got anything to trade this with to start it out? Tada! Okay, next! Sure.
Tada! Okay, next! Sure.
Tada! These are all the weapons we need! We'll go straight in! Hey, Prez, check this out.
I see.
So, we sneak in pretending we want to become a part of them.
The girls may not have to face danger this way, compared to busting in.
This could be a trap in itself, but let's try getting changed.
In that case We'll go scout things in a realistic version.
We'll pretend to be wild animals.
If it doesn't look like we've got any chance, let's get out of here.
What does it look like? T-This is It's a paradise! It's a maid harem! Don't forget our mission, Moron Trio! We need to quickly evacuate the girls to a safe place! What is this about? Is it a new girl? Prez! You were a girl?! Let's forget about these guys.
Where did Usui go to? Right here.
Welcome home, Master.
Usui You're.
You were fooling me?! Did I not say that I'm an Oni? But I am the Ring Master of the Moron Trio Circus.
Shut up! I've heard that already! So it was you who kidnapped all these girls, too! Prepare yourself, you perv Oni! Hey.
What kind of wrong idea are you getting? We live here out of our own choice.
Huh? I was getting fed up with the lifestyle there.
The guys were dirty and selfish.
A good-looking guy showed up, so we followed him.
Then we found this island pretty cozy.
It's comfortable living and our eyes are constantly pleased.
We're so happy right now.
So they took over my house.
How pitiful I am.
So- Come with me, Prez.
Let's leave this island and find some interesting place.
What are you saying!? Why should I go with you? Flowers of moe! Why? Because it turns me on to be with you.
Thus, the two started dating.
Huh?! Hold on! I haven't yet- You know, Prez, you look so seductive in that.
Wait, "yet" what? Anyway, I have no intention to be with a perv like you! Look at that bare leg.
No! I ripped the bottom because I thought I was going to fight! The two set off on a new trip together, but that's a whole different story.
PLACEHOLDER Let go! All is well that ends well.
No.
Stop it, you perv! Usui-san, what are you making Prez listen to? She looks like she's having a nightmare.
My special folk tale.
By the way, the Moron Trio ends up as the two's dinner, but that's a whole different story as well.
We were food until the end Why? It's horrible.
Okay.
Then the Trio lived safe and sound.
Dog was named Pochi and became Sakura Jii-san's pet.
Pochi Pheasant arbitrarily ate Grandmother's starch Monkey tricked the crab and snagged his rice ball Don't kill us! All is well that ends well.
It pisses me off that Usui was controlling the dream.
You like adventures, so you enjoyed it, right? When did I say I liked adventures? Misaki! Check this out! What is it, Sakura? You're happier than ever.
There's a really cool band.
You agree right, Shizuko? No.
Not interested.
Let's have a party! I hear we'll have a tea party with the band men.
What? Band men? Doesn't "band men" sound new now since it's so old?