Major Lazer (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

1 Major Lazer Major Lazer Major Lazer Major Lazer Major Lazer Yeah! Major Lazer What do you need? Uh, excuse me, can you fix this mini-disc player? - Well, let me take a look at it.
- Thanks, bruv.
Whoa, what the hell is this? His name is Fizzy.
Uh-huh.
How much do you want for him? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
He's very special.
- I could not sell Fizzy.
- How 'bout a trade, fam? - Fizzy for the mini-disc player? - Ooh, you got a deal.
So, does he do any tricks? Just one, but it's a good one.
Fizzy, bark.
Fizzy Fizzy Check it out.
Fizzy's got everybody in the club so turnt up.
That's what I'm worried about.
Fizzy ain't safe.
What are you talking about? Everyone loves Fizzy.
He's so popular.
Well, the brightest flame also casts the darkest shadow.
Fizzy Fizzy Fizzy General Rubbish, are you there? Hello, President Whitewall.
Do you know how high my approval ratings would be if I was half as popular as Fizzy? I want that puppy, Rubbish.
I want to kill it, I want to dissect it, and find out what makes people love it so much.
So, put your best men on it.
I want Goldie, the Trinidadian Voodoo Prince with the Midas Touch, the Booty Monster, Snake Pit, Triple Threat, Sub-Human, - Blockhead, - Knock knock Kamikaze Knife Fight and if he gets through all of them, send the Warriors, or something.
Consider it done, President Whitewall, My friend.
- I'm not your friend! - Yes, my lord.
- Dad! - Oh! Dammit, Penny, do you just permanently stand outside my door? Dad, you can't kill Fizzy.
He's a national treasure.
I can do whatever I want.
I'm the president of Jamaica.
Now move out of the way, I'm about to putt.
Ugh, you're a monster! Oh, very mature, Penny.
Who raised you? Major Lazer, we have to get Fizzy out of here! What? My dad's sending his best worst guys to kill him.
No, not Fizzy! What are we gonna do? There's only one place this puppy will ever be safe - space.
- What? Nobody's been to outer space for hundreds of years.
That's mad.
Wrong.
I've been to space.
What are you talking about? Blkmrkt, mind the bar.
Fizzy and I are going on a trip to the last launchpad on Earth.
Blockhead! I know you've got the puppy, hand him over.
No, I don't have him.
He's gone! Well, you can tell me where he's gone, or I'll have to beat it out of you, and I love beating up children.
- I'll handle this, Blkmrkt.
- This must be my lucky day.
I love beating up girls, too.
That's my girl.
So, this one goes out to our brethren with the lazer arm flying across the world on his rocketboard.
The road is long, and the danger is real, but you must tread on.
No! I'm basic? - Bling, bling, bitch.
- Goldie, the Trinidadian Voodoo Prince.
Major Lazer, what you think you gon' do when I turn your ass into one of my gold chains? Humiliating! Who is protecting Major Lazer? All this bloodshed was in a good cause because you're so cute.
Boy, Major Lazer, ya make it! It's a good thing your journey almost complete.
But it's not quite time for burning trees yet, 'cause you're not out of the forest.
There it is.
- Knife Fight.
- I was sent here to kill you.
- But you protected me instead.
- I wasn't protecting you.
I was protecting Fizzy.
- Booyaka! - Now, let's get this puppy to outer space.
Knife Fight, come in! - Yes, General Rubbish? - Is it done? I lost the puppy, sir, and Major Lazer got away.
Fool! Get back here immediately! Yes, sir.
If you ever remember, you'll know where to find me.
And it is with our utmost respect that the council of club owners thanks Major Lazer for saving music, and presents you with these golden wrist bands.
With these, you can get into any club anywhere in the universe.
Sound the horn for Major Lazer! Fizzy Fizzy Fizzy.