Man vs. Bee (2022) s01e09 Episode Script
Chapter 9
1
[AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING]
[NINA ANXIOUSLY] Christian,
he's still not picking up.
[SIGHS]
[SOFT GRUNT]
- [CLICK AND SLIDE]
- [GRUNTS]
[OPTIMISTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- There.
- [BUZZING]
[MUSIC SWELLS ROMANTICALLY]
[TREVOR] That's right.
[BEE'S WINGS FLUTTERING]
- Yes!
- [ELECTRIC BUZZING]
- [THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION]
- [SHATTERING AND THUD]
[WHINES]
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
What was that?
- [BUZZING]
- [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SCREAMS IN DISBELIEF] What?
- [BARKING]
[THUDS]
- [CRASH]
- [CUPCAKE WHIMPERS]
- [CUPCAKE WHINES]
- [TREVOR] Oh no!
[SCREAMS IN ABJECT FRUSTRATION]
- [CREAK]
- Ah
Christian
- [NINA] Oh my God
- [CHRISTIAN] No!
[BANG AND SHATTERING]
- [CRACKLING]
- [DOORS SHUT]
[TREVOR ROARING]
[CRACKLING]
- [TREVOR SCREAMING]
- [EPIC DISASTER MUSIC PLAYING]
No!
[NINA] God!
[BUZZING]
What are you doing here?
[SOFT INDISTINCT BACKGROUND TALKING]
- [JUDGE] The defendant will stand.
- [SEAT CREAKS]
Trevor Bingley, on all 14 counts
of wilful neglect,
dangerous driving, criminal damage
and arson, you have been found guilty.
- [GASPS]
- Yes! [THUD] Yes.
And I hereby sentence you to
the maximum term of three years in prison.
- [SOFT INDISTINCT MUTTERING]
- [NINA CHUCKLES]
[WHINES SOFTLY]
[JUDGE BANGS GAVEL]
This court is adjourned.
[MADDY WHIMPERS] Dad.
It's okay.
[SLAM]
- [OFFICER CYNICALLY] Enjoy your stay.
- [THUD]
[CONSTRUCTION SOUNDS]
[CHRISTIAN] Huh. You can not be serious.
Nine million pounds, is that all?
Uh, well, it would be the largest domestic
insurance settlement for 20 years.
Uh, two million for the Jaguar,
four for the artworks,
and a further three million
for general damage to the house.
What about my emotional distress?
They tried for my art collection and then
this moron burns down my entire house.
They're lucky I'm not asking for 50. Huh?
Yes.
- [SPLAT]
- [COUGHING]
- [FEMALE VOICE] There you go.
- Thank you.
- [CLUNK]
- [SOFT GRIND]
[SOFT SIGH]
[INMATE] This bloke turns up, right?
This floppy-haired tool,
with this weird Scandi accent
[PLASTIC KNIFE BREAKS]
- [INMATE] had an E-type Jag, you know.
- [SIGHS]
[INMATE] He pays us to rob this house.
And get this,
it only turns out to be his own house.
It's full of all this art, you know,
Mondrians and Kandinskys or something.
It's all bollocks to me, anyway.
But, you name it, he's got it.
And every single
one was a worthless fake. I kid you not.
Turns out it was all one gigantic
insurance fraud.
[INMATE] What?
What are you doing here?
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello?
- Hello. It's Trevor Bingley.
- Trevor who?
- Trevor Bingley.
From, uh, from Housesitters Deluxe.
Uh, in the, uh, fur coat? And the, um
Oh, yes.
Hello, Sir. How are you doing?
Under the circumstances.
Well, it's taken a bit of
getting used to, to be honest.
But actually, everyone's
been really friendly.
- All right, Trev?
- Oh.
Oh, hi Dino!
I'll bring your lunch along in a minute.
And the thing is, I've
got something very important to tell you.
- [SOFT INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [SLOW TRENDY MUSIC PLAYING]
[FEMALE VOICE] It's absolutely gorgeous.
Nina said you got it for a song. 300,000?
Well, they sold it to me as a Sickert,
but I suspected it was actually a Degas.
[CHUCKLES] Christian, darling,
there's someone at the door.
Turns out I was right.
Now I insured it for 15 million.
[CHUCKLES] How do you do it?
- [CHUCKLES]
- [NINA WHISPERS] It's the police.
Okay.
[DOOR CLICKS]
[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
We have some questions, sir,
about suspicious insurance claims
in connection
with burglaries at your house.
What suspicious insurance claims?
That's him. He paid us.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS]
[MALE NEWS READER] Having assembled
a collection of worthless fakes,
Kolstad-Bergenbatten
insured it for millions, then paid
a criminal gang to steal it from his own
house, and he pocketed the insurance.
[CLANKING AND CREAKING]
[FEMALE JUDGE] Trevor Bingley,
in recognition of your action,
which led directly to the
imprisonment of a shameless fraudster,
the Crown hereby pardons you
and grants you immediate release.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
- [MADDY JOYOUSLY] Dad!
- [TREVOR] Darling!
[MADDY] Ha!
- [TREVOR] Thank you. It's amazing.
- [MADDY CHUCKLES]
[MADDY CHUCKLES FONDLY] Oh, Dad.
[HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[SWOOSH]
[EXCITEDLY] Oh!
I can't believe it. I just can't
believe it. We're actually here.
[TREVOR SIGHS EXCITEDLY]
Hm.
- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [BUZZING]
- [TENTATIVE THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
- [BUZZING]
[TREVOR GASPS]
[TREVOR IN DISBELIEF] Hey?
- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [INHALING SHARPLY]
[SIGHS]
[FLUTTERING]
- [SIGHS CONTENTEDLY]
- [WARM MUSIC PLAYING]
[TREVOR] Here.
There you go.
Hm.
[HAPPY MUSIC SWELLS]
- [SMACK]
- [BUZZING]
[INCOHERENT UTTERING]
[BUZZING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [THUD]
- [SHOUT]
- [CLATTERING]
- [GRUNTING]
- [BUZZING]
- [TREVOR] Take that!
[TREVOR] Come here! Come on!
Get out!
Ha!
Hello! Oh!
I'm going to get you!
[AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING]
[NINA ANXIOUSLY] Christian,
he's still not picking up.
[SIGHS]
[SOFT GRUNT]
- [CLICK AND SLIDE]
- [GRUNTS]
[OPTIMISTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- There.
- [BUZZING]
[MUSIC SWELLS ROMANTICALLY]
[TREVOR] That's right.
[BEE'S WINGS FLUTTERING]
- Yes!
- [ELECTRIC BUZZING]
- [THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION]
- [SHATTERING AND THUD]
[WHINES]
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
What was that?
- [BUZZING]
- [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SCREAMS IN DISBELIEF] What?
- [BARKING]
[THUDS]
- [CRASH]
- [CUPCAKE WHIMPERS]
- [CUPCAKE WHINES]
- [TREVOR] Oh no!
[SCREAMS IN ABJECT FRUSTRATION]
- [CREAK]
- Ah
Christian
- [NINA] Oh my God
- [CHRISTIAN] No!
[BANG AND SHATTERING]
- [CRACKLING]
- [DOORS SHUT]
[TREVOR ROARING]
[CRACKLING]
- [TREVOR SCREAMING]
- [EPIC DISASTER MUSIC PLAYING]
No!
[NINA] God!
[BUZZING]
What are you doing here?
[SOFT INDISTINCT BACKGROUND TALKING]
- [JUDGE] The defendant will stand.
- [SEAT CREAKS]
Trevor Bingley, on all 14 counts
of wilful neglect,
dangerous driving, criminal damage
and arson, you have been found guilty.
- [GASPS]
- Yes! [THUD] Yes.
And I hereby sentence you to
the maximum term of three years in prison.
- [SOFT INDISTINCT MUTTERING]
- [NINA CHUCKLES]
[WHINES SOFTLY]
[JUDGE BANGS GAVEL]
This court is adjourned.
[MADDY WHIMPERS] Dad.
It's okay.
[SLAM]
- [OFFICER CYNICALLY] Enjoy your stay.
- [THUD]
[CONSTRUCTION SOUNDS]
[CHRISTIAN] Huh. You can not be serious.
Nine million pounds, is that all?
Uh, well, it would be the largest domestic
insurance settlement for 20 years.
Uh, two million for the Jaguar,
four for the artworks,
and a further three million
for general damage to the house.
What about my emotional distress?
They tried for my art collection and then
this moron burns down my entire house.
They're lucky I'm not asking for 50. Huh?
Yes.
- [SPLAT]
- [COUGHING]
- [FEMALE VOICE] There you go.
- Thank you.
- [CLUNK]
- [SOFT GRIND]
[SOFT SIGH]
[INMATE] This bloke turns up, right?
This floppy-haired tool,
with this weird Scandi accent
[PLASTIC KNIFE BREAKS]
- [INMATE] had an E-type Jag, you know.
- [SIGHS]
[INMATE] He pays us to rob this house.
And get this,
it only turns out to be his own house.
It's full of all this art, you know,
Mondrians and Kandinskys or something.
It's all bollocks to me, anyway.
But, you name it, he's got it.
And every single
one was a worthless fake. I kid you not.
Turns out it was all one gigantic
insurance fraud.
[INMATE] What?
What are you doing here?
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello?
- Hello. It's Trevor Bingley.
- Trevor who?
- Trevor Bingley.
From, uh, from Housesitters Deluxe.
Uh, in the, uh, fur coat? And the, um
Oh, yes.
Hello, Sir. How are you doing?
Under the circumstances.
Well, it's taken a bit of
getting used to, to be honest.
But actually, everyone's
been really friendly.
- All right, Trev?
- Oh.
Oh, hi Dino!
I'll bring your lunch along in a minute.
And the thing is, I've
got something very important to tell you.
- [SOFT INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [SLOW TRENDY MUSIC PLAYING]
[FEMALE VOICE] It's absolutely gorgeous.
Nina said you got it for a song. 300,000?
Well, they sold it to me as a Sickert,
but I suspected it was actually a Degas.
[CHUCKLES] Christian, darling,
there's someone at the door.
Turns out I was right.
Now I insured it for 15 million.
[CHUCKLES] How do you do it?
- [CHUCKLES]
- [NINA WHISPERS] It's the police.
Okay.
[DOOR CLICKS]
[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
We have some questions, sir,
about suspicious insurance claims
in connection
with burglaries at your house.
What suspicious insurance claims?
That's him. He paid us.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS]
[MALE NEWS READER] Having assembled
a collection of worthless fakes,
Kolstad-Bergenbatten
insured it for millions, then paid
a criminal gang to steal it from his own
house, and he pocketed the insurance.
[CLANKING AND CREAKING]
[FEMALE JUDGE] Trevor Bingley,
in recognition of your action,
which led directly to the
imprisonment of a shameless fraudster,
the Crown hereby pardons you
and grants you immediate release.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
- [MADDY JOYOUSLY] Dad!
- [TREVOR] Darling!
[MADDY] Ha!
- [TREVOR] Thank you. It's amazing.
- [MADDY CHUCKLES]
[MADDY CHUCKLES FONDLY] Oh, Dad.
[HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[SWOOSH]
[EXCITEDLY] Oh!
I can't believe it. I just can't
believe it. We're actually here.
[TREVOR SIGHS EXCITEDLY]
Hm.
- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [BUZZING]
- [TENTATIVE THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
- [BUZZING]
[TREVOR GASPS]
[TREVOR IN DISBELIEF] Hey?
- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [INHALING SHARPLY]
[SIGHS]
[FLUTTERING]
- [SIGHS CONTENTEDLY]
- [WARM MUSIC PLAYING]
[TREVOR] Here.
There you go.
Hm.
[HAPPY MUSIC SWELLS]
- [SMACK]
- [BUZZING]
[INCOHERENT UTTERING]
[BUZZING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [THUD]
- [SHOUT]
- [CLATTERING]
- [GRUNTING]
- [BUZZING]
- [TREVOR] Take that!
[TREVOR] Come here! Come on!
Get out!
Ha!
Hello! Oh!
I'm going to get you!