Mighty Max (1993) s01e09 Episode Script

1
- Less Than 20,000 Squid
Heads Under the Sea -
All right, all right.
Good screaming.
Let's go huddle up, muscle.
Coming.
Looking good!
Let's do one more, huh?
One more request.
Special play for Max.
Huh? For me?
I'm ready, coach. Let me at him.
I'll make it forget all what's
his name on the Niners.
Hey, I already have.
Hut, hut, hut!
He loses his man and
breaks for the end zone.
Having fake, Nagurski
right out of his pants.
He turns. He leaps.
He's going. Going.
Gone!
Touchdown.
The crowd goes wild.
The million dollar
endorsements flood in.
I got a feeling I'm not
in gym class anymore.
Angus, what do you make of it?
Hey, it makes me forget all
what's his name on the Niners.
What happened?
How'd I get here?
A portal in the end zone.
But where am I?
Deep in the heart of
the Scottish Highlands.
Virgil, hey, Normie.
What's up, guys?
What's going on?
What am I doing here?
Fulfilling destiny, Mighty One.
I diagram that play
to bring you here.
Presently, I fear no less than the world
itself is hanging in the cosmic balance.
Yeah, so what else is new?
Hurry, Mighty Max.
We must get to the portal.
Only you can save humanity from
the dread of horrors threatening it.
Kind of getting to
be a habit of mine.
Whoa!
I thought I wasn't supposed to
start scuba lessons till summer.
It would appear
something has gone amiss.
Yeah, us.
Everything checks on the map, but
there should have been an oil tanker here.
So what are we
supposed to do, Virg'?
Wait for the next
bus to scenectony?
Holy get the Limo!
Well, how do y'all? You
look a little on the moist side.
Need a lift?
Like a big nose, if the
sonar haven't picked you up,
You'd be having a
mind at long swim home.
Thanks, mister, but who are you and
what are you doing out here yourself?
J. Oliver Penderoil name,
Ollie to my pals.
Oils my business.
Ollie oil. Might
say it's my life.
I do say it's my life.
And who? Oils through my oil
tankers done gone missing around here.
Well, I said to myself, "Self, if
you're rich enough to lose tankers,
you ought to be rich
enough to find them too.
Don't you think? Never
mind, it's a rhetorical question.
I figure they went down. Or up.
And if this here experimental
submersible can't find them,
well, I'll just have to
build me a spaceship.
But I will find them.
And when I do
What's that? What's going on?
sonar picked up something.
Great golden silver!
Big old nasty shark
headed right this way.
And he's ugly!
Ollie, don't just smother me.
Do something.
- Do something?
Ain't nothing I can't do.
I'm Jay Ollie and the pantybone.
I'm rich, boy.
That there's 10,000 votes to the
finest electricity money can buy.
Look at him runnin' scared.
That's the power of
money right there, boy.
Ain't nothing it can't buy.
You can quote me.
Too clever, Mighty One. I have
doubts about our host's mental stability.
Not me, I know he's crazy.
What's that to say, boy?
- Uh, nothing, Jay.
Just talkin' to my chicken here.
Well, that's real cute.
Sad but cute.
Poor kid must
be a little patched.
Whoa! Look at that one!
Reminds me of my Uncle Billy.
And look at those!
Like mini light bulbs.
Yeah, must be handy
for blackouts, huh?
Ah, the mysterious
beauty of life under the sea.
Truly magnificent, is it not?
Rocks and fish in water.
There's more to it than that.
There's plants and
microorganisms,
whole ships lying ravaged
at the bottom of the sea.
It's a vertical graveyard.
Look at him, oh!
That one there, that's mine!
And that one! My
beautiful ships!
Look at what
they've done to him!
Well, whoever
did this, watch out!
I got boots made for stompin'!
I can help.
I have big feet.
Well, hold it. Wait a
second. Slow down.
We don't even know who
we're dealing with here.
Not who.
What?
Whoever would ever, it
don't make no never mind.
I got money to buy
an underwater find!
(all Scream)
You said it!
Giant squid!
Now we know what
happened to those ships.
And it's going to end us!
Look! Pull the lever boy!
Whoa!
Yeah, got it!
We did it, we did it!
We showed that squid!
Too little, I'm afraid.
Squids of this type are
known to have complex
nervous systems
allowing for rapid recovery.
What the.. Talking Chicken?!
Please to make your
acquaintance. My name is Virgil.
And I'm a foul, not a chicken.
(All scream)
(All scream)
Whoa!
- Whoa!
The joints, they're
losing their strength.
And I'm losing my lunch.
Oh, what a battering
musk man we're in now.
Looks like I've
borrowed my last crewed.
Keep the faith, Ollie.
I got a full-proof strategy.
It's called RUN AWAY!
The zing here,
the zing there.
Oh, I hope that squid hasn't
wrecked the coach's playbook.
We home free yet, boy?
I don't know. Looks more like
the best sub-money can buy
is about to be eaten
by a big mollusk.
Unless..
There, it's our only chance.
Those who can do,
those who can't, hide.
And if that fails, Mighty One?
became squid food, Virg'.
Looks confused, like in
a stockholders meeting.
Boy, that's a mighty fine
squid-evading you done, son.
How'd you like to work for me?
Oh, yeah, sure. I can see it now.
VP in charge of squid-evading.
(grunts)
Heehaw!
I know that squid was no match
for good ol' no-haw and big bucks.
Barbara, when we get back. I am
throwing one bodacious Calamari Party.
What do you say, boys?
What? Y'all vegetarians?
Ollie, unless there's
another opening somewhere,
that squid's got us
trapped in here, man!
Oh, put it in Park son.
We got enough fritters and
champagne to last for months.
Woo!
We're "salt-tater," you see?
We're not moving.
Won't that squid ever learn?
Not squid. Land.
Well, hot-diggity. This
place is something else.
That's quite a resort they
got hidden down here.
It's a city and quite an
ancient one, I should say.
Yeah, and from the looks of it,
everyone took a long weekend.
Careful, Mighty Max. There
could be danger among those ruins.
Come on. Dangerous Normie's
middle name. Isn't that right, big guy?
Lead the way.
This year we'll make one
pugnacious tourist attraction.
Boys, we're millionaires, and
I'm all shared with all of you.
80/20, of course.
Don't you think you better
ask the local inhabitants first?
Local shmokers. Ain't no
one left here for centuries.
Even if they did,
I'd buy 'em off.
Whoa! Ambush! Look
out! Squid in the hole!
Oh, look! It's just
one little squidy dude.
Oh, and several hundred of his quads!
They look friendly, don't they?
I mean, they don't look unfriendly
for, you know, squids, that is, sort of.
Not just any squids. I
imagine they're an ancient
offshoot of the more familiar
Sefa the Pod mollusks.
A generous, laligo, arosha.
But who cares what they is?
It's what they're done to
my oil tankers that's important.
What? How do you
figure? Where's the proof?
Prove? What about a giant squid
and them squid-headed things?
That's all the proof I need.
Let's get 'em. Come on,
go ahead. Get after their boy.
Come tear 'em apart before they get us.
You can do it. I'll wrap it up. Go on.
No! They're not armed.
I mean, they have lots of
arms, okay, but no weapons.
Anyway, they seem
peaceful enough.
How about it, squid dudes?
Live long and
Shoot, ink. Yeah, so
much for diplomacy.
That's showing
'em some guts, boy!
They're runnin'
scared like rabbits!
We gotta follow 'em. They
may know a way out. Point me!
Well, I gotta admit, this
ain't bad for rapid trains.
Yeah, no traffic either.
Must've missed rush hour.
Yeah, well, let's just hope that
Yammer and Chicken of yours
can see as far as it can spit.
There they are. Mighty One, right
turn up ahead and don't forget to signal.
Hey, check it out, guys. It's
the happenin' part of town!
I guess they don't get
many visitors here, huh?
Those are street lamps are
odd indeed, they appear to be
Luminescent fish used
in the absence of electricity.
Now if I'm not mistaken. We're
dealing with a very ancient civilization.
Cool! What does it all mean?
Don't mean deadly,
son. But maybe that dude!
Whoa! I haven't seen this much gold
since my cousin got her cavities filled.
Where'd those squid
pengies go, son?
I smell dead ahead.
There they are! Unless I'm
sorely mistaken, that is the leader.
He seems to be very frightened.
Frightened?
One side feathers,
let me deal with this.
I, sir, have grievances, outrageous,
and a sordid atrociously stupid name later.
I demand satisfaction.
Heads will roll!
Ha! Cowards! I knew it!
You're scaring
him to death, man!
Well, I hope so, serves them right!
Ollie, what do you say
we try a different approach?
Okay, uh, me, Mighty
Max, you, uh, squid dude.
Um, my name's Calamaris, I
am the leader of my people.
Yes I mean, yes,
that is what I am, leader.
You? English? But how?
Trash, you throw it
away, and pick it up taste-good too.
You're not going
to hurt us are you?
What? No! No, we're friends!
In fact, why don't we
do lunch sometimes?
Yeah, I'll show you around my crib. It's
lots of fun babes you wouldn't believe.
Oh, man, you'll love it!
- Oh, that would be lovely.
We don't get out much, not
since the squid trap does help.
Yeah, and I gotta tell you, I was
meaning to ask you about that.
When exactly did that happen?
Oh, coming up on a millennium
in June seems like only yesterday.
What?
- Seems like only yesterday.
Then, I mean, you've been
trapped here all that time?
Haven't you ever tried to
- Escape?
Never, not once, not us, no backbone,
we're invertebrates you understand?
But hey, it's not about backbone, it's
about the need to try, of pulling together.
Okay, listen up everyone!
I see we can take that squid.
Sure it'll be tough, and
we might lose a man or
squid along the way, but
just remember one thing.
Your bravery today
means freedom tomorrow.
So let's do it!
Yes! Get out there and beat
that squid! What do you say?
It'll eat us.
Oh, listen man, I'm not
just thinking about you,
I want to get out of here too!
What can I do?
I'm terribly sorry.
We're very timid squids,
instinct, you know,
like the big squid
goes for the light.
We go for cowardice.
How do you like that?
The going gets rough
and the squid turns chicken.
I beg your pardon.
Calamaris, you said the
giant squid is attracted by light?
That is correct.
Well then that means where
there's no light, there's no squid.
It boots, we can remouse!
No, no, no, wait, Ollie,
come back! I didn't mean that!
Strange man, strange words.
What's he mean, "remouse"?
I'm afraid it means trouble.
Too late, they're often sailing.
Wait, wait for us!
Ah, All is not lost yet.
Look, it's the Mighty One.
You can't leave!
You won't even be able to see
where you're going without the lights on!
Keep out, Bob,
we're busting out!
There's my chance
to run for the roses!
Hiya!
The opening, must be
out here somewhere.
Now if I just see
my way clear
No!
Oh my, the opening!
the small size of it was the only
thing keeping the giant squid out!
Norman, I say let's be off before
- No, I move for no squid.
It's no use, Norman! Norman!
Wait, the light! It's
drawn toward the light!
Raise the light, leave
the squid back out to sea.
Yes, that's it, it's
following us onward!
Come on, baby,
don't fail me now!
Not with the squid
going to town!
(disappointed sound)
Norman, help me out
towards the opening.
No! Hurry, Norman!
Look alive, Ollie!
Giant squid's on his way back!
Whoa!
- Whoa!
Alright, we're cooking
with gas now, bud.
We're going to head for that big oil
tanker we saw coming in, and then
Forget that! Let's get the hang
out of here while we still can!
No! What's gotten into you, man?
We're going to save the day!
Enough juice for one more
jolt! Good, that's all we need.
W-w-w-what are you aiming to do, son?
We're going to blow that
overgrown mollusk to bits.
You got a problem with that?
I've got two words for
that, plan boy. In and sane.
Hey, man, don't worry. We'll
be long gone in the escape pod.
I mean, what can
pass as we go wrong?
Hey!
-Whoa!
I had to ask.
We'll be crushed like
sardines I hate sardines.
So much for my customary heroics to
say nothing of a promising football career.
Hey, way to go, Squid dudes?
Crunch time, and the squids
come through with the clutch assist.
Man, who would have thought it?
Now, we just get into position
to blow that tanker, and Ollie?
Ollie? Oh, no!
You've done well, Calamaris.
My city, my people.
We had to try. Just once.
I fear Mighty Max
is on his own now.
Going somewhere?
Well now, Mr. Macho Oil Tycoon.
Oh, no, no, she got me
wrong. I'm just
I'm a coward. I admit it.
I'm Yellow as a Rose of cases.
I ain't got no Gale,
son. All I got is money.
I guess it don't buy everything.
News flash, Ollie. If the
Squid Dudes can do it,
so can you. Now get
out there and be brave!
Great speech.
I guess you're right.
but are you sure you
won't be brave for me?
I mean, they're a hundred dollars
billion, that's far to know what I mean.
We're almost there, Ollie.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hit the switch, Ollie!
Huck the end of the giant squid.
But what of Mighty
Max and Ollie?
Move feathers now!
Woo! Scratch one squid!
Now you are free to
leave this city if you want!
And all thanks to your bravery!
And yours.
Oh, shucks. It's worth nothing.
Ah, fresh air at last. It's
like fresh money, he he. Almost.
I'm sure my people
will pick us up in no time.
Now don't you worry none
about the motor-ride partners.
I got me a sweetheart
deal. We'll split 70-30.
Folks not gonna
believe this adventure,
but with you to back me up,
we'll clean up at the box office.
I can see it now. Names and
lights, lines around the block.
I'll make another fortune.
Adios, amigo.
What do you mean by
that? Hey, where y'all going?
I need you to
collaborate my story.
Well, that's showbiz, Ollie.
Well, you'll be sorry. You
could have been rich like me.
Alright then, look.
How about 64/36 then?
50/50?
Ha ha, ma!
This week, we went into the depths
of the ocean to battle a giant squid.
Squids are invertebrates, which
means they don't have a backbone,
and giant squids are the
largest invertebrates on Earth.
They eat meat and have
extremely advanced eyes
that can spot their prey
hundreds of yards away.
Kinda takes the fun
out of swimming, huh?
See you next week.