Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003) s01e09 Episode Script

ANNOUNCER: What are these people running from? They're not, they're running to the world's toughest reality sports competition in town.
Today's battle pits the travel industry against circus people.
It's frequent flyers versus freaks.
So get fired up for MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
And now your hosts, Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.
VIC ROMANO: And step right up to MXC, we got a great battle today Ken, it's the circus workers versus the travel industry.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, I hear they hate each other.
VIC ROMANO: Well, that's only a rumor started by radio shock jocks.
But let me ask you something.
You ever thought about running away and joining the circus? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well actually I wanted to be a tourist.
VIC ROMANO: Mm-hmm.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And wear those cool Speedos.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, yeah.
Well you could still join the circus and do some traveling.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You think so? VIC ROMANO: Yeah, there'd be plenty of opportunities for that, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Might be a lot of fun.
If I could still wear my thong.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
Yeah, Kenny in a thong, there you go.
Hmm.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah, I could perform in my little swimsuit.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Mm-hmm.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
I could be the circus Thong Man.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, and speaking of circus geeks.
GEEK LA DOUCHE: Thanks guys.
Geek LaDouche here, faithful cousin to Guy, whose parole hearing is coming along quite nicely, thank you.
Well, will the brute strength of the travel industry size up against the intellectual smarts of the circus squad in such games as Bird Droppings, the highflying action of Foul Ball, and then it's Little Man in the Boat, we swing over to Cornholders, and finally, our contestants cruise the ooze with Mudballs.
And here's el capitan.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: This is truly an auspicious gathering of hardworking travel industry workers, who will face their nemesis, the circus people.
But who here thinks that the federal government is crippling both industries with a glut of safety regulations, and federal mandates? [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
now some inspiring words from circus chaplain Father Laffy Pants.
FATHER LAFFY PANTS: Thank you Captain.
Um, before my invitation to the great [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
master, let me tell you a story about how I came to a life of clowning and prayer.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
I had a vision, it was a juggling clown with a halo.
[WHISTLE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: And we're on to our first challenge, the slippery slope of Slide of Death.
Now the object is to see which team gets the most players over the wall in the allotted amount of time.
And the first one over, Iggy Lagossi, carnival dog boy.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And that's Marsha Matzoh, first over for the travelers.
VIC ROMANO: Yes indeed she is.
Oh, and right there, that's Dinky John Pecaro, the world's tallest dwarf.
And there's traveler Karen Kahalan.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Today's landing fluid comes to us courtesy of Dr.
Ferdie's Fertility Hut.
And look, there are the Amtrak people pulling a train.
VIC ROMANO: That's great teamwork, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And look, it's Dinky, pulling some trou.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, he's got quite a grip on traveler Ernie Saunders.
You know, you'd almost think Dinky was a professional package handler.
Oh, he pulled him down.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, isn't that like cheating? VIC ROMANO: No, it's perfectly legal, and a good strategy.
If Dinky can't make it over, he's gonna make sure the travelers don't either.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, legal cheating.
VIC ROMANO: There's less than 30 seconds left.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Look at him trying to help that girl, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Well, it's in his dwarf nature, Ken.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Kindly and helpful.
And there's Punani Richter, making her way up the wall there, using the rope.
And she's over the other side.
And there goes Dinky.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh-ho, he is putting on a clinic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, and the circus carnies have a slight lead, while the travelers try to pull even.
And we are in the closing seconds.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, and Dinky is kind enough to stick his hand- VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, but it doesn't matter, 'cause the whistle blows.
And the circus folk have won, thanks in no small part to the efforts of Dinky John Pecaro.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Let's go to the MXC Impact Replay.
You know, I think one of the keys Vic, is that Dinky has an underwear fetish.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
He's competing and collecting.
Good thing for the circus folk, that little fella's got a big thirst for thong.
And here's Dinky with his collection of fallen travelers, that gives the circus folk a 1-nothing lead.
VIC ROMANO: Now let's see how they do in Bird Droppings.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Caw, caw, caw, caw.
VIC ROMANO: Real clever, Ken.
All right, starting things off for the circus team is Palmer Hydrosis.
He's a cotton candy cooker.
Now the object of Bird Droppings is simple.
Grab the bunny, slap its neck, and feed it to the little pink peckers.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, he misses, but he does get blown by the arctic wind.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Everybody wins in this game.
VIC ROMANO: And here Betty Shipman, she's the head [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
for Third World Air.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And right there she's being pelted by rare condor eggs.
VIC ROMANO: Ooh, even rarer now, huh Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ooh.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and she takes a cold hard blast.
That's too bad.
And next up, Flopsy Siegel, he's our clown college valedictorian.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He graduated summa cum lady.
VIC ROMANO: Ha, ha, high grades and hijinks.
Oh, oh, and listen, he's doing the [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
FLOPSY SIEGEL: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, my eyes, my eyes, they're burning me, my eyes.
VIC ROMANO: And next up, Ben Vilanch.
He writes jokes for airline pilots.
BEN VILANCH: For all you mile high clubbers, put yourself in a full, upright position.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
Funny stuff Ben, [LAUGHTER.]
.
Let's see how he can do here.
Where's his slap? [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: In perfect muff diving fashion, big birds landing.
VIC ROMANO: Excellent, Ken.
And it's still zero-zero, as we come to one of my childhood favorites, Duck Squats the Brown Clown.
He never fails to thrill a big top, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And she's doing the call of the blue-veined sap swallower.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh, but Squats fails to squeeze one out for the circus team, and we've still got no score.
There's Frankie Counsel, he's the president of the Toro Cruise Line.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Better known as the Bull Ship.
VIC ROMANO: And there's some leg action, there, oh, he tries a scissors kick on the rabbit, but to no avail.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Takes another blast of chilly wind.
And here's Ed Shovels, he's a circus elephant waste management specialist.
Oh, Ed's delivering a nice version of the spotted morning woodpecker.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, and he seems to have done it, he dropped the rabbit into the little peckers, and the circus folk are ahead one-noting.
Let's see if the travelers can catch up.
This is Latrine Bidet, he's airline restroom attendant.
There he goes [OVERLAP.]
oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, and this pooper scooper is lousy [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
VIC ROMANO: He is indeed, Ken.
And the travel team once again comes up short.
But thanks to Ed Shovels, the carnie birds of a feather have flocked together with a two-nothing lead.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up on MXC, it's catches, flashes, and splashes.
Ow.
ANNOUNCER: MXC is back with more travel people versus the circus people.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Great game, huh Vic? VIC ROMANO: Indeed Ken.
The carnies have taken a whopping 2-0 lead.
Ha ha.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah.
Tough bunch of clowns.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah.
Next up, Foul Ball.
Now the object is six players from each team try and catch a baseball that's been imbued with a horrible stench.
Palm it in your soft leathery glove, and get a point for your team.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: There's Sammy Long Finger Maguire.
Got himself looking there, he couldn't stand the smell of that ball.
VIC ROMANO: And no wonder Ken, that ball's been stored overnight in a vat of rotted Gouda cheese.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there's a hit, it's up in the air, [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
under it.
Oh, and it hits the ground unattended.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Looks like we had a gang, bang, and miss.
VIC ROMANO: And no points on that one.
Here's our next hitter, Sarry Sosa.
Goes deep with a ball that smells like the backseat of a Buick on prom night, oh, and [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
Let's see that again on our MXC Impact Replay.
You know, Paul produced the adult travel documentary Wild On Tehran.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, I saw that, those chicks lifting up their burkhas, it was hot.
VIC ROMANO: But tastefully done.
And Silverberg's catch puts the travelers on the board, 2 to 1.
There's Maguire with a big swing, he hits [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
that smells like on outhouse at an asparagus farm.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Is that bad? VIC ROMANO: Oh, and making a barehanded catch, it's [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's a spineless contortionist.
And he send the circus team lead to 3 - 1.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And here as our Sarry Sosa hits the fourth ball dipped in curdled afterbirth.
That stinker's way up there, oh, and making the catch is Trapper John Fernandez.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's looking as if he's writhing in agony from the smell.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, but he may be smelling victory as the score is now 3-2 and there's Maguire with the fifth and final ball.
And what's our mystery smell now, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: It was dipped in drippings from a Calcutta cat food factory.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, no wonder that ball was worth 2 points, and look at that, bodies everywhere, but Richard Wade comes up with it for the travelers.
A great catch, let's look at that one again, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, Richard is used to some odd smells, Vic.
He's a flight attendant on Butch Air, the bicoastal airline.
That's the airline where round trips go both ways.
And of course that catch worth two points.
And that puts the travelers in the lead for the first time, four to three.
And let's see if they can hold onto that lead.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, I just got a whiff of those balls, hoo hoo, man.
They are foul.
Speaking of foul balls- VIC ROMANO: - let's go to a foul ball guy.
It's mister G Spots.
And this is Little Man in the Boat.
Now the object of this game is to climb on top, go for a little ride, but then you gotta pull out before get flipped.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: [WHISTLE.]
Let's get it on.
VIC ROMANO: First um, Wendy Fleiss.
WENDY FLEISS: Fly me.
VIC ROMANO: She's a duty-free hooker who operates out of seven major hubs.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Lightening speed.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And she lays out nicely.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
gets her off her board.
And next up, Pete Grumfeld, he's a retired circus strong man.
You know, at one time he could actually lift Rosie O'Donnell.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh my god, nobody's that strong.
Her head alone must weigh 90 pounds.
VIC ROMANO: Yes indeed, Ken.
Oh, and he's into the water.
Let's take a look at that again and replay.
Right there, it ain't over till the fat lady sings.
SKIP BERMAN: I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
VIC ROMANO: And this is Skip Berman, he works for Homeland Security as a federal package sniffer.
He's got a good run going.
And there you go, you can see him using that professional lung capacity.
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: This guy blows.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he did, Ken.
LUCRECIA BLUMKIN: I like to swallow.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Lucrecia Blumkin, she's a sword swallower who works with her husband, Toby the Human Sword.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's the happiest man in show business.
VIC ROMANO: And it looks like her whole team is gonna be happy as she makes it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Fortunately she's flat as a board, anything bigger than an A cup, and she's in the drink.
VIC ROMANO: Unbelievable.
And Lucrecia Blumkin gives the carnies much needed points and the lead in Little Man in the Boat.
VIC ROMANO: Here's the traveler's last chance, that's Larry Guccione of Gray Mound Tours, which caters to swinging seniors.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, my grandma met most of my grandfathers on that tour.
VIC ROMANO: Interesting stuff, Ken.
And it looks like he just might make it, oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
VIC ROMANO: He can't quite pull out in time, so thanks to Lucrecia's board work, the circus folks keep it close, and we've got a four-four tie.
ANNOUNCER: Our cornucopia of calamity continues on MXC.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Yeah, baby.
ANNOUNCER: MXC's bloodbath continues, it's travel industry versus the circus people.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hoo hoo.
VIC ROMANO: And we're back, and we got a 4-4 tie going.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow, that's pretty close.
VIC ROMANO: It's MXC close, Ken.
So who will break the stalemate? Will it be the circus people or the traveling professionals? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I hate clowns.
They suck.
VIC ROMANO: Well let's go on to our next event, which we like to call, Cornholders.
Tell 'em about it Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Sure, the object of Cornholders is simple.
Grab a cob knobbler, hold on tight, and drop your kernels on a giant pat of butter before getting corned.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Let's get it on.
JOHNNY BATERA: Grab 'em by the ears.
VIC ROMANO: And first up on the cob is Johnny Batera.
He operates a dirty swirl cup ride for the Steak Brothers Carnival and Traveling Buffet.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Mm, Carney food.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed Ken.
And oh, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
JOHNNY BATERA: Oh man, stupid [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
[BLEEP.]
set me up.
JENNIFER ST.
CROIX: Only two carry ons.
VIC ROMANO: And next up for the travelers is pretty little lady Jennifer St.
Croix.
She's a luggage carousel operator.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: She can grab my bags.
VIC ROMANO: And the Captain helps her strap on.
Does a couple of shuck spinners, looking good.
Oh, and into the pool of [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
sludge.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Which was donated by Uncle Hammy's Carnival of Infectious Diseases.
VIC ROMANO: And next up, Mia Poundstone.
She's a world-class ben wa ball juggler.
MIA POUNDTSONE: I'll knob that cob.
VIC ROMANO: You know Ken, she's also a committed mother.
Here she is with her 28 kids, all fathered by different clowns.
KIDS: We love our funny dads.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Nice family.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And there she straddles the husker, and twirling [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
over to the butter floats, oh, misses by a country mile.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And gets a mouthful of infectious goo.
BILLY NOWER: Corn dogs.
VIC ROMANO: Next up, Billy Nower, he's a manual relief map maker.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh look, he's going bareback, no strap.
VIC ROMANO: Yes, that's an inverted curdle grip.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's got four fingers in the corn hole.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and he does a one legged butters up into the reeking reservoir.
FRANK MAGGIA: Chubby chasers rule.
VIC ROMANO: And let's see what Frank Maggia can do.
He's a circus fat lady dietician.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, he also dallies in custom hand painted flesh aprons.
VIC ROMANO: And there he's doing a whirling, swirling, cobsucker, oh, falls short of the mark.
KELLY CRONIN: If I don't win, I swear I'll kill myself.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, that's Kelly Cronin.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You think she means it? VIC ROMANO: Well apparently some people take cob riding very seriously, Ken.
By the way, Kelly is an ugly American makeover artist.
And there she is, looking good, and [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
oh my, a back-forward flip into the contaminated septic sea.
Let's go to our MXC Impact Replay and take another look.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, this might be the last time we see her.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Kelly was so hopeful, but sadly, as in her life, she couldn't hold on.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, I think I saw her [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
VIC ROMANO: Could be just a canker sore, Ken, but you may be right.
SKY POLAR: They're both real.
VIC ROMANO: And this lovely lady is Sky Polar, former aerialist who retired due to a severe groin injury.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ooh, the dreaded trapeziotomy.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Sky's lower body relaxed as she goes on the cornholding ride of her life, oh- KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh wait, what's that, let's take a look at that.
VIC ROMANO: Her velocity forced her into a twirly husker and a cob-kneed dismount.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No, no, no that.
VIC ROMANO: What are talking about Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Right here.
Wait- VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
What's that? What are we looking at? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I think her implants fell out.
Play it again.
Look, see.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, are you serious? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
VIC ROMANO: Let's move on.
BICCA: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, thanks.
Just kidding, you can hate me.
VIC ROMANO: And here's a circus favorite, that's Bicca the Ballpoint Pen Head.
And there she goes, she takes off doing a spinning snatch had grab, and oh, she takes it on the backside.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I could never hate her.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken, and no doubt she's brought joy to dozens.
LANCE: Money in the bank.
VIC ROMANO: Up next, Lance Garrett, he's a young travel companion for wealthy senior widowers.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, he travels with rich older dudes.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, nothing like a strapping young man to pal around with on a long journey.
And [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, he made it.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Indeed he has.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh look, he's breaking into the dancing gigolo.
VIC ROMANO: Let's take another look Ken, as he goes down on all fours like a good cornholder and wins it for his fellow travelers.
ANNOUNCER: MXC will be right back with more pain and suffering.
Love it.
ANNOUNCER: MXC's big show continues with more travel versus circus people.
VIC ROMANO: Doo, doo, doo.
MALE: [OVERLAP.]
Hey, we're back.
Guys, we're back.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Huh? Oh Kenny, we're back, we're back.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Huh, oh, ha ha, yeah.
The traveling team's wining, right? VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Yes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What's our next game? VIC ROMANO: That would be Dirty Balls.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah, Dirty Balls.
VIC ROMANO: Well, the object is to trudge through the sludge, and keep the MXC ball sparkly clean.
Here's Corky Blingbling.
He's a clown car driver.
Oh.
face down in the muck.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: today's muck is courtesy of every air traveler in the last 16 months.
It's where the airlines unload their loads.
VIC ROMANO: Lots of generous people, Ken.
And here's Richard Lords.
Oh, part time fare collector for Jamtrack, and he got jammed.
And next up, Bloaty the Cranky Clown.
She's a high wire menstrual cyclist.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: She only works three weeks a month.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are.
OH, and sh'es gone from cranky to crappy.
[WHISTLE.]
And here's Steve Ricks, he's GPS salesman.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, so he might have a great sense of direction.
VIC ROMANO: Well, not necessarily.
Let's go down to Geek, and find out how he lost his leg.
STEVE RICKS: Hey, you want to see a dirty joke? Here.
[LAUGHTER.]
GEEK LA DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, you got me, oh, you got me, yeah.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Terry Bruno, she's a clown shoe re-soler.
TERRY BRUNO: Ready.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know what they say about clowns with big feet.
VIC ROMANO: Oh yeah.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow.
VIC ROMANO: And she's out cold, Ken.
Let's go to the MXC Impact Replay.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Ooh.
What went wrong there, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well she tried to catch a ball with her forehead.
She should have used her hands.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
That ball of course plummeting at a speed of Mach 2.
Let's go to Geek.
GEEK LA DOUCHE: Are you all right? TERRY BRUNO: Yeah, I'm fine, really I'm fine.
GEEK LA DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
Uh, you're crying, uh, - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah.
Well it's this stuff, it smells so bad, I mean, my eyes are just burning.
GEEK LA DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, yeah, tell me about it, it's on my suit too, I'm sorry, it smells, I know.
TERRY BRUNO: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, oh my goodness.
GEEK LA DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
All right, well be strong and go to a cleaner.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh man, she's bummed.
VIC ROMANO: Don't worry Ken, her teammates are there to console her.
FEMALE: Oh, it's all right.
STEVE RICKS: Hey, hey sweetie.
How, how would you like a dirty joke, huh? [LAUGHTER.]
TERRY BRUNO: Touch me and I'll rip your [BLEEP.]
-ing balls off.
FEMALE: You tell him.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Anson Mayer.
He runs a resort for people with feet fetishes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, Club Foot.
VIC ROMANO: He's got a strong takeoff.
Oh, but he couldn't stay on his toes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He didn't even try to catch the ball.
VIC ROMANO: Well let's hear what he had to say.
ANSON: Uh yeah, that ball totally surprised me.
I, I didn't know I was supposed to catch it, I thought the object was to get stinky doody, and I, you know, that's what I did.
GEEK LA DOUCHE: Your son has a note for you.
SON: Dear Dad, I just thought you should know that I'm moving in with mom and my new dad, yeah, he's getting me an XBox- VIC ROMANO: What a sweet kid.
And here's Bonnie Brogan.
She's a humper car operator for the Circus of Whores.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I like the Tilt a Girl ride.
VIC ROMANO: Ooh, me too.
She's on [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
VIC ROMANO: - [OVERLAP.]
and she makes it Ken.
And now you can put the score 5 to 5.
And here's Bob Evans, he's the mile high club president.
He could win it for the travelers.
Let's see what he does here, oh, he makes it.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
men with balls in the air, none better Ken.
Let's take a look at that winning catch again.
And right there.
What a fine snatch.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, nice catch.
Look at his hair, it's perfect.
VIC ROMANO: indeed it is, and so our competition ends with the travel industry outdistancing the circus folks six to five.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Good, 'cause I hate clowns.
VIC ROMANO: Ah, what a great contest, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, only one thing better though.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and what would that be? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: My special part of the show.
VIC ROMANO: Your special part of the show? All right, let's go.
It's time for Kenny Blankenship's most painful eliminations of the day.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And at number ten, that's Dinky John Pecaro, the world's tallest dwarf, making short work of the travelers as he gives them a return trip to the slippery slope of Slides of Death.
Number nine goes to Paul Silverberg, who gets under those foul balls and squeezes out a big one for his team.
Good thing he's wearing protection.
And number eight goes to retired circus strong man Pete Grumfeld.
Poor guy's got a mouthful of sludge, that'll sap your strength.
Number seven goes to Butch Air flight attended Richard Wade, who palms another foul ball with both hands, and stands himself in front of everybody.
At number six it's Bill Nower, who grabs that cornholder with all his might, and spins his way to the brink of disaster and goes under.
And number five goes to bag sniffer Skip Berman.
He just couldn't handle the little man in the boat, despite all his huffing and puffing, and he goes down.
And number four spot goes to perky Sky Polar, she's a spinner who made a mess out of her first crack at cornholding.
Sorry, baby.
And number three features Bird Dropper Ben Vilanch, who muff dives and tries to get the drop on that fuzzy hair, but he just couldn't [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
We just can't get enough cornholding, making number two Kelly Cronin.
She gets a bang hard and goes backwards into the wet spot called sludge.
And my most painful elimination of the day, bada ba ba, belongs to slap shoe re-soler Terry Bruno.
She takes it right across her kisser, and gets creamed right in the mouth.
Swallows a lot more than her pride.
Oh, hose me off.
VIC ROMANO: So, what a great show, huh Ken? You know, I've really enjoyed these freaks and silly clowns.
And I've also enjoyed the circus people as well.
So thanks to all, and remember what we always say: ALL: Don't get eliminated.