My Wife and Kids (2001) s01e09 Episode Script

1 HERE YOU GO, BABY.
THANK YOU.
Claire: GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM, JUNIOR! MY STUFF IS IN THERE! MOM! I SWEAR, THAT BOY'S IN THE BATHROOM 24-7.
MAYBE HE HAS SOME KIND OF STOMACH THING.
I THINK IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH HIS THING THAN HIS STOMACH.
OKAY, OKAY.
I UNDERSTAND THAT HE'S A TEENAGE BOY, BUT, COME ON, MICHAEL.
HE'S IN THERE DAY AND NIGHT.
YOU GOTTA TALK TO HIM.
AND SAY WHAT? WHAT I NEED TO DO IS GO AND TIE HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK.
NO.
YOU GOTTA GO IN THERE AND TELL HIM NOT TO DO IT SO MUCH.
WHY NOT? IT'S GOOD PRACTICE FOR MARRIAGE.
DO WHAT, MOMMY? READ, HONEY.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT READING.
I THOUGH IT WAS GOOD TO READ.
YES, IT IS GOOD TO READ.
YOU JUST DON'T WANNA DO IT SO MUCH THAT YOU GO BLIND.
I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW.
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
OH.
ME TOO.
BYE, HONEY.
BYE, MOMMY.
YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE LATE COMING HOME TONIGHT, RIGHT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA BE ON TIME TONIGHT.
NO.
I GOTTA PICK UP THA SHOWER GIFT FOR THERESA.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY VICTORIA'S SECRETS CATALOG? YEAH, IT'S IN THE BATHROOM WITH JUNIOR.
AM I GONNA HAVE TO HIDE THAT THING? YEAH, UH, LIKE IN MY SOCK DRAWER.
BABY, IT DON'T MATTER.
YOU KNOW WHAT? AT HIS AGE, HE CAN FIND SOMETHING EROTIC IN ANYTHING.
HOW ABOUT MY CRATE & BARREL CATALOG? NOW THAT'S A GOLDMINE.
YOU GET THE RIGHT WOMAN TOSSING THE RIGHT SALAD, THAT'LL SEND A BOY OVER THE EDGE.
DADDY, CAN YOU PLEASE GET HIM OUTTA THERE? I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO PUT ON MY LIP GLOSS.
HEY, YOU KNOW I FEEL ABOU YOU WEARING THAT GUCK.
BUT DO WE KNOW HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT ROGER? Jay: WHO'S ROGER? ROGER? WHO'S ROGER? I DON'T KNOW ANY ROGER.
ROGER OF "CLAIRE AND ROGER.
TRUE LOVE FOREVER," WITH LITTLE HEARTS AND STUFF.
LET ME SEE THAT.
SO WHO IS ROGER? OH, AND THIS IS SO ADORABLE.
WHO IS HE? WHO IS HE? IS HE CUTE? TELL ME EVERYTHING.
TELL ME, TELL ME.
OKAY, OKAY.
I AM NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND TALK TO MY PARENTS ABOUT SOME GUY I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
EVEN IF HE IS TOTALLY CUTE.
I THINK SOMEBODY'S HAVING THEIR FIRST REAL CRUSH.
I BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS.
I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR A LONG TIME, JAY.
COME ON, ROGER.
COME ON.
WHAT YOU GONNA DO, ROG, HUH? HUH? WHOOP, DAMN.
ROGER.
WHAT YOU GONNA DO, ROG? OKAY, OKAY.
WAAH! MICHAEL.
IT IS A SCHOOLGIRL CRUSH.
IT'S TOTALLY INNOCENT.
YEAH, FROM HER PERSPECTIVE.
BUT ROGER'S AT HOME LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM IMAGINING HER JUICING A BANANA OR SOMETHING.
LITTLE BOYS ARE LITTLE PERVERTS.
THEY LIVE FOR SEX.
THEY FIND IT IN EVERYTHING.
HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY "FIELD & STREAM" MAGAZINE? I LOOKED FOR IT EVERYWHERE.
HEY, JUNIOR, I GO THE NEW "DEATH MARCH 2000.
" YOU WANNA PLAY? NO, THANKS, DAD.
I GO A LOT OF READING TO DO.
THE CRATE & BARREL CATALOG CAME IN TODAY.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Claire: I'LL GET IT.
I'LL GET IT.
IT'S OKAY.
I GOT IT.
HI.
IS CLAIRE HOME? ARE YOU ROGER? YES, SIR.
HOW OLD ARE YOU? SORRY, CLAIRE'S DEAD.
DADDY MICHAEL, WHO'S AT THE DOOR? SOME KID SELLING TESTOSTERONE.
I TOLD HIM WE GOT ENOUGH AROUND HERE ALREADY.
OH, CLAIRE, YOU'RE ALIVE.
I'M FINE.
BOY, FOR A SECOND THERE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, AND I WAS, YOU KNOWBUMMED.
YOU WERE? YEAH, DEFINITELY.
HOW BUMMED? TOTALLY BUMMED.
I'M SORRY TO TROUBLE YOU AT HOME.
OH, IT'S NO BOTHER, REALLY.
BUT I FOUND THIS BOOK.
I THINK IT'S YOURS.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I TOTALLY LOST THIS.
WHERE DID YOU EVER FIND IT? IT WAS IN MY BACKPACK.
HOW DID IT GET THERE? THAT IS JUST TOO WEIRD.
YEAH, IT'S WEIRD.
YEAH, IT'S ALL WEIRD.
ROGER, HI.
I'M CLAIRE'S MOM.
WHY DON'T YOU COME IN AND HAVE A SEAT? HERE, CAN I GET YOU A BEER, SOME TEQUILA? GOSH, NO, MR.
KYLE.
SO YOU'RE NO A DRINKER, HUH? LET ME CHECK YOUR VEINS.
WHAT YOU GOT THERE? EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.
HEY, HEY, HEY.
EXCUSE US WHILE WE GO AND GET YOU GUYS CHECK HIS VEINS.
SOMETHING TO DRINK.
YEAH.
YEAH, I'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN, NEXT TO MY GUN COLLECTION.
YES.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ME? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TAUGHT HER THE BACKPACK TRICK.
OH, ROGER, HOW DID IT EVER GET IN THERE? THAT'S SO WEIRD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GETTING ALL CRAZY ABOUT THIS.
GET THE SODA.
I'M NOT GETTING CRAZY.
YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA HAVE FUN WITH THIS.
MICHAEL, I WANT YOU TO BE NICE.
I'M ALWAYS NICE.
NO, SERIOUSLY.
THIS IS HER FIRST CRUSH, AND THE WAY YOU HANDLE I WILL HAVE A LOT OF INFLUENCE ON HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT MEN.
I KNOW.
GENTLE, GENTLE.
MAYBE YOU ARE RIGH ABOUT WHAT BOYS HIS AGE ARE REALLY THINKING, BUT, MICHAEL, LET'S TRY TO HAVE SOME FAITH IN THE WAY WE RAISED OUR LITTLE GIRL, OKAY? I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH IN HER.
IT'S THAT 16-YEAR-OLD PUFF DADDY OUT THERE I DON'T TRUST.
"FIELD & STREAM" IS A GREAT MAGAZINE.
OH, REALLY? OH, YEAH.
I READ I ALL THE TIME.
WOW.
YOU'RE SUCH A READER.
WELL, YEAH.
SO, UH, ROGER, WHAT KIND OF THINGS YOU INTO? JUST NORMAL STUFF.
NOT THAT YOU'RE NORMAL.
NORMAL LIKE WHAT? YOU KNOW, BASEBALL, VIDEO GAMES, RAP.
OH, RAP IS COOL.
I LOVE RAP.
YEAH, I LIKE RAP, TOO.
YOU WANNA HEAR ME FREESTYLE? MY NAME IS DJ MIKE I WEIGH ABOU TWO-AND-A-QUARTER I'M-A SNAP YOUR LITTLE SKINNY ASS IN HALF IF YOU MESS WITH MY DAUGHTER YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
DAD OH, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, DON'T MIND ME.
Y'ALL DON'T NEED ME TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF.
YOU GO ON AND JUST-- I'LL PLAY SOME VIDEO GAMES.
I USED TO PLAY WITH JUNIOR ALL THE TIME TILL HE FOUND A NEW TOY TO PLAY WITH.
GREAT.
DAD LET'S SEE.
I'VE GO "SAMMY SOSA BASEBALL.
" I HAVE "FIRE SWORD 3.
" WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO PLAY "DEATH MARCH 2000.
" YOU HAVE "DEATH MARCH 2000"? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS OUT YET.
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY I KNOW A GUY WHO KINDA KNOWS A GUY.
HA HA HA.
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT THIS.
Y'ALL GO ON AND CHAT IT UP.
I'LL JUST SIT HERE AND BE QUIET AS A LITTLE MOUSE.
[GAME SOUND EFFECTS ROAR.]
UM, SO, ROGER, WHO DO YOU HAVE FOR THIRD PERIOD? SOME TEACHER.
YEAH.
WHOO-HOO-HOO-WHOO.
OH, MAN.
WHOO-HOO! HEY, CAN I TRY THAT? WHAT, THIS? YEAH.
IT'S NOT AS MUCH FUN AS IT LOOKS.
COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
I'LL PUT I IN TWO-PLAYER MODE.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT LEVEL 4 IS LIKE.
GET OUTTA HERE.
HERE COME THE ZORBATORPS.
HERE COME THE ZORBATORPS.
UH, CLAIRE, CAN YOU SCOOT OVER A LITTLE BIT? I NEED SOME ARM SPACE.
THANKS.
Michael: AW, BOY.
HEY, BABY.
HEY.
WHAT'S UP? NOTHING.
ARE YOU SURE? YOU SEEM A LITTLE DOWN.
YEAH, WHATEVER.
OKAY, COME HERE.
COME ON.
SO HOW ARE THINGS WITH ROGER? HOW ARE THINGS WITH ROGER? HOW ARE THINGS WITH ROGER? YOU WANNA KNOW HOW THINGS ARE WITH ROGER? NOT ANYMORE.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK DAD? YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY SPEN FOUR HOURS YESTERDAY PLAYING THIS STUPID VIDEO GAME, AND THEN TODAY, ALL ROGER COULD TALK ABOU WAS DAD, DAD, DAD, HOW COOL DAD WAS AND HOW HE COULDN'T WAI TO SEE HIM AGAIN.
I MEAN, WHO CARES ABOU A STUPID VIDEO GAME, ANYWAY? CLAIRE, HONEY, GUYS LIKE TO DO A LOT OF THINGS TOGETHER THAT ARE FRANKLY, WELL, STUPID.
POINT IS, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR DAD IS NO REFLECTION ON HOW ROGER FEELS ABOUT YOU.
[PHONE RINGS.]
HELLO.
HEY, SWEETIE.
YEAH, I PAGED YOU.
LISTEN-- NO, ROGER DIDN'T CALL YOU.
[SCOFFS.]
CLAIRE.
UHH LISTEN, YOU GOTTA TALK TO JUNIOR.
HE HAS NOT COME OU OF THE BATHROOM SINCE HE CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL.
MICHAEL, HE'S IN THERE WITH A COOKBOOK, MICHAEL.
[JUNIOR YELLS IN PAIN.]
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG? WHERE'S DAD? HE'S IN A MEETING.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? NOTHIN'.
I JUS GOTTA TALK TO DAD.
JUNIOR I'M FINE.
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT.
WHERE DOES IT HURT? I CAN'T TELL YOU.
YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.
NOW TELL ME, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? I THINK I BROKE IT.
OH.
NOW WHEN YOU SAY BROKE, DO YOU MEAN, LIKE, BROKE LIKE IN PIECES BROKE, LIKE NO.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
SO--SO IT JUST HURTS.
YEAH, IT HURTS.
OKAY.
SO, YOU WANNA PUT SOME ICE ON IT? NO.
LET MOMMY SEE IT.
NO.
OKAY, FINE, FINE.
WE'RE GONNA GO SEE DR.
PARKS.
FINE.
JUST--HE'LL KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.
COME ON.
COME ON.
NO, PUT THAT DOWN.
THAT'S WHAT GOT YOU INTO THIS MESS.
COME ON, BOY.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE GONNA BE JUST FINE, JUNIOR.
ARE YOU SURE? THERE'S NO LASTING DAMAGE, I PROMISE.
SO WHAT HAPPENED? BASICALLY YOU HAD WHAT'S COMMONLY KNOWN AS A MUSCLE SPASM.
THANK GOD.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN GET THOSE IN, YOU KNOW, THAT AREA.
WELL, UH, ANYTIME YOU USE A MUSCLE AND YOU, UH, USE IT AND USE I AND USE IT AND USE IT ALL RIGHT.
SO AS FOR TREATMEN OF MUSCLE SPASMS I GOT IT, DOC.
CONSTANT MASSAGE.
NO.
NO, NO.
I REALLY RECOMMEND HOT BATHS AND MOST IMPORTAN IS REST.
CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME, JUNIOR? I DON'T KNOW, DOC.
SERIOUSLY.
OH, I'M SERIOUS.
OKAY.
I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME, SON.
UH, IT'S LIKE A BICYCLE.
IF YOU RIDE IT EVERY DAY, IT WON'T LAST LONG.
BUTIF YOU JUST USE I TO GO TO THE STORE NOW AND THEN, IT SHOULD LAST A LIFETIME.
GOT IT? I GOT IT.
WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
THANKS A LOT.
HEY, BABY.
HOW YOU FEELIN'? I'M ALL RIGHT.
JUST WON'T BE RIDING MY BIKE FOR A WHILE.
WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'RE FINE.
AND DON'T WORRY.
NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS.
WHO WERE YOU CALLING OUT THERE? WHAT? OH, THAT WAS YOUR DAD.
HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
BET HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY LIKE YOU DID.
WHAT? I WASN'T LAUGHING AT YOU.
I SAW YOU.
NO, NO.
WHAT YOU SAW WAS JOY WHEN I KNEW YOU WERE FINE.
I MEAN, THE SHEER RELIEF-- MOM.
WHAT? I WASN' LAUGHING AT YOU.
BABY, I WAS LAUGHING AT THE SITUATION.
I GUESS IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.
IT'S JUST SO EMBARRASSIN'.
UHH! NOW HOLD ON NOW.
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT.
OKAY? THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON WITH YOU RIGHT NOW, JUNIOR, AND ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU'RE FEELIN' AND THINKIN' ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL, SO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.
JUST, YOU KNOW, TRY READING SOME OF THOSE MAGAZINES FOR A WEEK OR TWO.
NOW DAD AND ROGER ARE PUTTING THEIR STUPID GOLF BALLS.
IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HERE.
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
MOM, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? WELL, THERE IS A PERIOD OF TIME, JUST AFTER THE SUPER BOWL BUT RIGHT BEFORE THE BASKETBALL PLAYOFFS, IF YOU HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL ISSUES, YOU BRING THEM UP THEN.
MOM, THEY WERE JUST OU PLAYING CATCH IN THE YARD.
HOW WEIRD IS THAT? I THINK IT'S SWEE THEY'RE BONDING.
MOM, THEY HAVE PLANS TO GO MINIATURE GOLFING TOMORROW.
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE IT SHOULD BE FUN.
ROGER SAID HE DIDN' WANT ME TO COME.
HE SAID HE WANTED SOME ALONE TIME WITH DAD.
REALLY? REALLY.
MOM, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? OH, YOU NEED TO DUMP THAT LITTLE BOY.
YOU SEE? YOU AND JUNIOR HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.
YOU BOTH PULL YOUR PUTTS.
SO DON'T CHOKE.
DON'T CHOKE IT.
JUST HOLD IT GENTLY AND JUST THROW THE CLUBHEAD AT THE FACE OF THE CUP.
ROGER, IT'S OVER.
I'M DUMPING YOU.
YEAH.
THANKS, CLAIRE.
ME TOO.
OKAY, YOU JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL, RIGHT? THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL BALL.
HAS TIGER'S NAME WRITTEN ON IT.
CHECK THIS OUT.
I'M AT THE 100th U.
S.
OPEN, STANDING 400 YARDS FROM THE TEE.
TIGER HITS ME IN THE HEAD WITH THIS BALL.
WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW REMEMBER-- JUST KEEP THE TRIANGLE THROUGH THE SWING, ALL RIGHT? IF YOU MAKE THIS PUTT, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT TO THE RANGE.
WE'RE GONNA HIT THESE X-14s.
OH, SWEET.
YES! HEY, WHERE YOU OFF TO? I'M GONNA MEET ROGER.
WE'RE GONNA PLAY MINIATURE GOLF.
WHAT? YEAH.
I'M GONNA GIVE HIM SOME POINTERS ON PUTTING.
YOU KNOW HOW DEVASTATING I AM ON THAT WINDMILL.
MICHAEL, MICHAEL, STOP.
COME ON NOW.
YOU WON.
THE WAR'S OVER.
WHAT? CLAIRE DUMPED HIM.
I KNOW.
AND SHE'S ALREADY ON TO THE NEXT CRUSH, WHICH, ACCORDING TO THE NOTEBOOK, IS SOME GUY NAMED CHESTER.
LISTEN, JAY, I KNOW THAT CLAIRE WASN'T RIGHT FOR ROGER, BUT I AM.
EXPLAIN IMMEDIATELY.
I'M JUST SAYING, HE'S A GREAT KID.
I MEAN, HE'S NICE.
HE'S SMART.
YOU CAN'T KEEP SEEING ROGER.
WHY NOT? BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER DUMPED HIM.
IT VIOLATES THE BASIC FATHER-DAUGHTER CODE.
WHEN THE DAUGHTER BREAKS UP WITH THE BOY, THE FATHER CAN'T THEN DATE HIM.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WE'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.
DO YOU KNOW THAT ROGER MASTERED LEVEL 4 OF "DEATH MARCH 2000" IN JUST TWO DAYS.
YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE LISTENS TO ME.
I TRIED TO TEACH JUNIOR, BUT HE JUST BLEW ME OFF.
UH-HUH.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THE GUY IS-- HE'S A GREAT KID.
WHAT'S UH-HUH? UH-HUH.
NO, THERE IT IS AGAIN.
EXPLAIN UH-HUH.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
MICHAEL, ROGER REPRESENTS THE SON YOU USED TO HAVE, THE ONE WHO LISTENED, THE ONE WHO HUNG ONTO YOUR EVERY WORD.
OH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
I DO MISS THE WAY JUNIOR USED TO LOOK UP AT ME WITH THOSE BIG EYES AS IF TO SAY, "DAD, YOU'RE THE COOLEST THING ON THE PLANET.
" I MEAN, HE USED TO WORSHIP ME.
I REMEMBER.
NOW HE JUST WORSHIPS HIMSELF.
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
[SIGHS.]
SO WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT ROGER? OH, YOU GONNA DUMP THAT LITTLE BOY.
[DING DONG.]
WHOO.
HEY.
HEY, MR.
KYLE.
GUESS WHAT.
I GO THE NEW "GUN MASTER 68.
" LET'S JUST SAY I KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS A GUY.
HEY, LISTEN, ROGER, WE NEED TO TALK.
HAVE A SEAT.
LOOK, WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS NOT EASY FOR ME.
WHAT? WHAT IS IT? ROGER, IT SEEMS THA WE'VE BEEN FOOLING OURSELVES THESE PAST FEW DAYS.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
THEY'VE BEEN MAGICAL.
IT'S JUST THA I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I KNOW.
IT'S HARD FOR YOU.
IT'S HARD FOR ME, TOO, LITTLE BUDDY.
I MEANI THOUGHT I FELT WAS I CRAZY? NO.
GOD, NO.
IT'S JUST THAT IT'S BIGGER THAN BOTH OF US.
I MEAN, THIS HAS TO DO WITH THE FATHER-DAUGHTER CODE.
SO THIS IS ABOU YOU AND CLAIRE? I LOVE HER, ROGER.
WHAT CAN I SAY? AND I'M JUST THROWN ASIDE LIKE YESTERDAY'S TRASH? IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S THE SITUATION.
YOU KNOW WHAT? IN ANOTHER PLACE AND ANOTHER TIME, A SUNNY DAY IN MAY, IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME, MR.
KYLE.
LOOK, I NEED TIME, DAMN IT.
I'M CONFUSED, ROGER.
YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THAT.
I GOT FEELINGS, TOO.
WOW.
HEY, BUT YOU THINK YOU COULD LEAVE THAT "GUN MASTER 68"? I'D LOVE TO GIVE I A LITTLE TRY.
IT WOULDN'T FEEL RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT WAS VERY SELFISH OF ME TO ASK.
I SHOULD GO NOW.
HEY, ROGER? YEAH? MY TIGER BALL.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
OW! ALL RIGHT, DAD, I KNOW YOU'RE JUST DYING TO CRITICIZE ME.
SO WHAT IS IT? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? AM I NOT AS GOOD AS ROGER? NO, YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING PRETTY GOOD.
REALLY? YEAH.
JUST DON'T BREAK THAT JOYSTICK.
I'LL GO EASY, I PROMISE.
SO HOW'D YOU GET GOOD SO FAST? I MEAN, YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET PAST LEVEL ONE.
WELL, I'VE HAD SOME EXTRA TIME TO PRACTICE.
OH, RIGHT.
I MEAN, MOM SUGGESTED READING, BUT YOU KNOW THA "FIELD & STREAM" MAGAZINE? IT'S ACTUALLY ABOU FIELDS AND STREAMS.
IMAGINE THAT.
WELL, FINISH PLAYING YOUR GAME.
I DON'T WANNA INTRUDE.
HEY, DAD.
HMM.
WANNA PLAY? NAH, I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE I'M CRITICIZING YOU AFTER I KICK YOUR BEHIND.
OH, BRING IT ON.
THE WAY YOU HANDLE I WILL HAVE A LOT OF EFFEC ON THE WAY SHE FEELS ABOUT MEN.
I DON'T KNOW MY LINE.
AND I MESSED IT UP, ANYWAYS.
THE JUICE.
GET THE SODA.
HUH? I DON'T KNOW.
Director: AND ACTION.
I'M NOT HAVING FUN.
[GIBBERISH.]