Nip/Tuck s01e09 Episode Script
Sophia Lopez II
Here at Bare, Dr.
Troy, we offer our clients a wide range of full-body treatments.
Isn't that funny? I've found myself saying the same thing on occasion.
Or I could arrange to work on a specific area of your body if that's what you'd like.
Hey, honey.
Don't you just love this place? Yes.
I was just going over my options.
I already took care of that.
I called ahead for the dual hot stone massages.
It should be under "Troy.
" Dual, as in we share the same room? It's our three-month anniversary, honey.
I thought you'd wanna be together.
I have another surprise for you.
- What the hell is that? - They waxed in your initials, see? K.
T.
? Sweetheart, it's Christian with a "C," not a "K.
" Really? Has it always been that way? So, this must be the better half.
I never knew Christian had such taste.
Merrill Bobolit, M.
D.
It's a pleasure.
Kimber Henry.
Hello.
You metro-sexual, you.
What're you doing here, getting your back waxed? Who told you? Baby, I'm gonna go see if they can fix my "K," okay? Okay.
Wow! I'm betting that one tastes like Golden Grahams.
I really do hate to see two beautiful people in love.
Love, please.
If she wasn't the best sex of my life, she'd be long gone by now.
She's just not bright enough to realize it.
Good in bed, not too bright? Oh, my God, she's my dream woman.
She should be mine.
She's beautiful, doting, everything a guy should want.
But if I wanted to do the high maintenance thing, I'd get a '66 Fiat.
When are you gonna dump her? Merrill, you trying to move in on my girlfriend? When there's a towel on a chaise, that means it's spoken for.
Up! Jesus.
As I was saying, Kimber Henry would be the perfect mother for my children.
My DNA mixed with hers all but assures a blond Jew.
- Wanna make a trade? - Trade for what? For Kimber.
You remember Monica, right? You met her at my house.
I'll fix you up with her and her friend.
A two-for-one.
How about it? You're out of your league, Merrill.
You got nothing I want.
Yes, I do.
My car.
Remember? You're telling me you'd trade your Lamborghini for Kimber? - You're insane.
- Yeah, you're right.
She'll be back on the market soon.
I'll scoop her up then.
Excuse me for trying to allow a painless breakup for you.
You're honestly prepared to give me the car? You know how I operate, Christian.
I see something I like, I go for it.
It's the curse of being rich and impatient.
Excuse me.
Dr.
Troy your girlfriend wanted me to double-check with you.
That was a "C" and not a "K," right? Merrill, I think we can work something out.
Are you sure it's calibrated right? I know.
It's an evil, evil device.
But watch how it works.
140.
You sure about that? If she's gonna be a real woman, she needs to start lying about her weight.
- I'm only trying to be helpful.
- I like her.
Sophia, I need your signature on this patient-consent form.
I already signed one of those after you fixed my Adam's apple and before you did my breasts.
The sexual reassignment surgery has more risks.
Infections are possible.
On average, there's a 15°% chance of hemorrhaging, which can- I could actually die from this? Yes.
By law, I have to have you sign a form specifically for the S.
R.
S.
Okay.
Sure.
Do you need the gender reassignment surgery, Sophia? Can't you just keep the breasts and the Kibbles 'n Bits and be satisfied with the knowledge that emotionally and spiritually you are more of a woman than most? That trade-off works for many in the transgender community but I wanna feel complete.
Honestly, Liz, I'm more concerned about my expanding fat ass than I am about turning my penis into a vagina.
Gaining a few pounds before your bottom surgery is normal, Sophia.
Being off the estrogen is what causes it.
Nothing to worry about.
When you're in my situation, that's when you need to worry.
What situation is that, Liz? Forty.
Single.
Picky.
Liz, you're dating again? Good for you.
Going to bars and being rejected is not something I consider dating.
I'm thinking about starting an employee discount on Botox.
Not that you would need it, Liz.
You're right, Dr.
McNamara, she doesn't need it.
Turn to me, Liz.
You got a beautiful canvas.
You just need to throw some paint on it.
A little concealer under the eyes, a couple of shades of foundation and guess what? You'll look like a 25-year-old lipstick lesbian.
You must know a lot about makeup.
I've had to conceal a lot in my life.
On every level.
My place tonight? You bring the wine and I'll prove to you you don't need a scalpel to turn back time.
You ready to do some homework? Let's see We start with advanced calculus.
No, I agree.
Too boring.
French? Okay, sure.
French it is.
Cara just Matt, I'm with a patient.
You need to knock.
It's Cara.
She moved.
- Moved? - Twitched.
This is a good sign.
Let me finish my exam, and we'll talk later.
Shit.
You weren't doing anything out of line, Sean.
I was due for an exam.
You were giving it to me.
That's not all we were doing.
We can't do this anymore.
I agree.
I meant here.
- Phase one.
- Trust.
Hey, baby! You didn't say you were bringing company.
Sorry, sweetheart.
You remember Merrill, right? - Hi.
- Hello.
Thank you.
What are you doing? We're gonna watch Pay-Per-View tonight.
Is that the dress I hate? You never said you hated this dress.
It makes you look boxy.
Why are you wearing it? I thought we had plans to go to the Conga Room tonight.
Sorry, sweetheart.
Slipped my mind.
I invited some friends to watch the fight.
You probably don't wanna stay for that.
I can't figure out this DIRECTV thing.
You see if you can make that work.
I'm gonna go change.
Can't believe he talks to you like that.
He probably just had a hard day.
Hey, if my gorgeous girlfriend puts on a dress like that I don't care what kind of day I've had, I'm happy.
And I don't break dinner plans.
I'm sorry.
I'm not helping.
If you wanted to talk about it, you'd call a girlfriend or something.
I don't really have many friends here.
Don't feel bad.
I told him, "She's the most beautiful woman in the world.
"She's not an 8.
She's a 15! " He still thinks I'm an 8? But I did the surgery.
I don't wanna sound forward, but here, take my business card.
- You think I need more work done? - No.
I want you to have somebody to call when he's being a dick.
And if you feel the need to unload on somebody - Okay.
You gonna watch the fight? - No.
I think I'm gonna go for a walk and get some air.
Great.
- How'd it go? - Phase one, complete.
- How do I look? - More feminine.
Okay, behold.
I look straight.
I'm sorry.
They don't make a lipstick shade called "bull dyke.
" Can't I look more me? Okay.
But I must say, I'm a little disappointed, Liz.
Because I don't wanna look like a clown? Because you of all people should know that a facade does not determine a person.
Why get a sexual reassignment surgery? Because my facade is hiding my person.
I'm not trying to be a beautiful woman.
I know I'm no Salma Hayek, okay? I'm just trying to get rid of the man on the outside as much as I can so I somewhat can reflect what I am: a woman.
Have you always been a lesbian, Liz? I slept with a man once in college.
But he had long hair and when I closed my eyes and felt it sweeping across my face I pretended he was Joni Mitchell.
What about you? You gay? - Today.
- And tomorrow? Straight.
After the surgery.
You're a conundrum wrapped up in a riddle, babe.
You look beautiful.
I do? I'm sorry.
I pluck too many hairs? It hurts, I know.
No, it's not that.
I'm just so sad.
Why? I just wanna love someone.
And I want someone to love me back.
And now I go to the bars and I used to get looks back when I was younger, you know? And now, I'm invisible.
It's like the whole culture is geared toward 25-year-olds and that's not me anymore.
I know how you feel, Liz.
I'm lonely, too.
I feel like you do, maybe the parade passed me by.
I mean, I had trouble getting men when I was a man.
Didn't have any muscles.
I was a fem, which the boys hate these days.
And now I wanna be a woman who, let's face it still resembles a man.
And I wonder who's gonna want me now? Who'll see beyond the makeup and the surgeries and see the person who's inside? Shit.
This isn't waterproof.
This is the worst girls' night out I ever had.
Me, too.
And yet, it's kind of the best.
I see the person inside you, Sophia.
Right now.
I see you.
I see you, too, Liz.
Eight nine - Okay, come on.
Last one.
- I can't.
You gotta.
Do all the other women you work with need as much help as I do? You're kidding me, right? I wish all my class trained as hard as you.
Okay, we're not finished yet.
Over here.
On your back.
Leg up.
- What are we doing now? - Do you trust me? Julia.
Quelle surprise.
Suzanne! Hi.
Jude, working hard today, are we? You two know each other? Yes, I trained a friend of Suzanne's a few months ago.
I think we're almost done.
Five minutes on the cardio.
- Fancy a smoothie? - Sure.
My treat.
How much for Jude? Are you paying retail, honey? Hell, even if you are, apparently he's worth the money.
Yeah.
He works me out hard.
Oh, my God.
You really don't know, do you? Know what? Sweetheart, he's not a real personal trainer.
That's only how he meets his real clients.
For sex, sweetie.
Don't be shocked.
Enjoy.
You paid him to have sex with you? No, not me, because I do not have the morals of an alley cat.
But a lot of the women in my spinning class have and the word is, once Jude puts you through his bedroom calisthenics you feel the burn for days.
That is not true.
Jude is a student- How do you think he affords those clothes? And that apartment? Not by working at Subway, sweetie.
Hi.
Hi.
Look, I don't know how this is gonna sound seeing in five minutes your scrotum is gonna be turned into a labia majora.
But last night Was incredible.
- You thought so, too? - I can't stop thinking about it.
Me neither.
It's the first time in a long time that I felt- Connected? Yeah.
What do you think that would be like, to want to get rid of your penis the hub of all power? Can you imagine? Actually, I admire her conviction.
- It takes - Balls? - What's going on in here? - She doesn't wanna have the operation.
- What? - Sophia, why? I'm sorry, Dr.
McNamara but I'm having a sexual identity and a sexual preference crisis.
- I'm a wreck.
- Sophia, what happened? Last night I was intimate with someone.
More intimate than I've been in years and now I can't do this today.
I'm confused.
I'm sorry.
Now I'm confused.
I thought you were with Liz last night.
I'm gonna go play golf.
Megan, it's Sean.
My afternoon just opened up.
You're a doctor.
You have to answer that, remember? For one afternoon in my life, I'm gonna do what I wanna do not what I have to do.
Thanks.
- Who is it? - Office.
Shit! Hello? Yeah, all right.
I'll be there.
- I forgot I scheduled surgery tonight.
- Tonight? - Isn't there somebody else on call? - I'll make it up to you.
I promise.
But that's what we're supposed to be doing tonight.
- Hi.
It's me.
- Kimber? You're kidding.
He said he had a surgery.
He didn't even leave me money for cab fare.
Kimber, I hate to break it to you but no plastic surgeon does surgery after 6:00 on a weekday.
It's a diversion.
You think he's seeing someone else? I've done the dinner page thing.
Ever single doctor I know has.
It's an ugly thing, is what it is.
But I stopped after I discovered kabala.
It's okay.
Better to find out now.
- Merrill.
- Phase two, seduction, is complete.
She's in the bathroom barfing up a bottle of Veuve.
It's going great.
We're both going to hell for this, you know.
As long as it ain't tonight.
She's weaving up.
I gotta go.
Jules? Where have you been? Late surgery.
How was your day, Matt? Shitty.
You wanna talk about it? I tried calling you earlier, but the office said you were gone.
You didn't answer your cell phone either.
Well, I'm here now.
What's on your mind? How come you never raised Annie and me with any religious background? Your mother and I thought you should make your own decisions about faith when you're ready.
Do you believe in God at all? Like if we hurt someone and don't take responsibility he knows about it.
Because if that's true we can't really get away with anything, can we? What are you getting at, Matt? I'm saying you can lie to yourself your friends your family.
But you can't lie to God.
So the only thing to do is confess.
Right? How did you find out? When you opened the door and saw us together? What did I see? Stop the games, Matt.
I'm telling you man-to-man.
Yes, I'm having an affair.
I'm gonna end it.
I just needed something and she gave it to me.
How could you cheat on Mom? Your dad left you guys for another woman.
You told me that.
You've been telling me that since I was a little kid about how that hurt you so much.
I'm not my father.
I'm not! Listen to me, Matt.
Nothing in your life is gonna be disrupted.
You cheated on Mom? I don't know you right now.
I won't see her again.
You're more important to me.
This family is more important to me.
We won't tell your mom, and this will all go away.
I promise.
I promise.
Morning.
What are you doing? I was staring at the nose job Christian gave you.
Frankly, I could've done better.
Oh, my God! - Did we sleep together? - Don't you remember? No, we didn't sleep together.
I mean, we slept together, but I didn't sleep.
You snored.
You were really drunk.
Where are my clothes? I gotta go.
Go where? Back to Christian, to see if he'll forgive me.
Forgive you? Come on.
Get back in bed.
Merrill, thank you for last night.
Don't get the wrong impression.
There's nothing going on between us.
You're not my type.
How am I not your type? I make more money than Christian, I'm more famous.
Let's face the facts.
You know Christian will throw you out eventually as your ass continues its inevitable downward slide.
But I won't.
You don't even know me.
Get it through your fuzzy head, okay? I'm not attracted to you! You don't like the hair? Okay.
It's goofy.
I'll change it for you.
Yeah? Well, you'll still be a 4.
I'm sorry.
He's not gonna take you back.
You two may look good together, but you're not what he wants.
You never were.
He loves me.
I know he does.
He traded you for a goddamn car.
How's that for love? Sean, Megan O'Hara again.
Line two.
I'm heading into a consult.
Take a message.
You haven't returned my calls this week.
- Why? - I've been busy.
I don't wanna study.
I wanna talk.
No, Jude.
I get to talk.
You get to listen.
You're a liar.
You're a liar and a fake.
So that's why you called me over today? - 'Cause you found out.
- Yeah.
I found out.
I wanted to tell you.
You, of all people, but I didn't know how.
So say it.
Tell me what you are to my face.
Okay.
I'm not really British.
I'm not from London.
I'm from New Hampshire.
I started the whole accent thing to boost business when I moved out here last year.
You're from New Hampshire.
You know how women like the whole foreign, sophisticated vibe thing.
Keep going.
I told you everything.
You hate me? - I hate myself.
- Why? I've been so desperately lonely that I fell for a con man who's also a hooker.
I wasn't ever your friend.
I was just another paycheck.
- Hold on.
What are you talking about? - Jude, I know! I know women pay you for their orgasms.
Who told you this? Suzanne? You trust that bitch over me? She hates you.
How could you think that about me? That I would rent myself out to women like her? I'm a trainer, Julia, not a whore! I guess 'cause I'm coming clean now why don't we get everything out in the open, okay? I do have feelings for you.
And I know that it's wrong, for the both of us but I can't fight what I feel anymore.
Get out, Jude.
You can't afford me.
So I made up a voice! All right, but don't try and Don't judge me for trying to be a better person, a different person! Aren't you trying to do the same thing? You were a housewife.
Now you're going to medical school, and asking people to perceive you differently! And you won't give me that same break.
You're very sad.
Hi.
Liz.
We know.
Where are my manners? Come in.
Don't mind them, Liz.
They just want me to take advantage of my opportunities and get the surgery.
So do I.
If that's what you want.
I don't understand, Liz.
I thought you were confused, like me.
Come on, Sophia, let's be real.
We came together out of loneliness, not passion.
The truth is you like men.
I like women.
It would be wonderful to look beyond the wrapping for the real person inside.
But I work for a plastic surgeon.
I know more than anyone that never really happens.
Only in fairy tales.
I guess I'm just thrown because we had such chemistry, Liz.
That's rare.
Chemistry can lead to friendship.
And I'm here as your friend to tell you that I think that you want to become a straight woman, and you should.
The doctors have an opening tomorrow afternoon.
The appointment is yours if you want it.
Hey, baby.
See? I'm not mad.
And why would you be? I know, Christian.
About what? Honey, you don't have to lie anymore.
Our whole relationship was built on deceit.
Can't we just end it in truth? I know you traded me for the car.
Merrill told me everything.
- You're not mad? - Mad? How could I be mad? Isn't the Lamborghini worth $250,000? That must mean I'm worth a lot.
At first I was a bit stung.
But then I realized, shit.
You're never gonna settle down.
Why should I? My modeling career is taking off.
That's what I want more than anything.
Even more than you.
I'm glad you realize that, Kimber.
Maybe a break could be good for us.
A break with the occasional benefits.
What are you doing? When I found out how much the car was worth I got hot.
Isn't that weird? - Did he touch you? - He tried.
Doesn't that make you hot, too, baby being able to screw now and then what your biggest competitor couldn't? I know how you love to role play.
I've brought toys.
What kind of toys? Is that as tight as you can make them? Where are you going? To get another toy.
What's that for? You have no feelings whatsoever, do you? - I was wrong.
You do.
- What are you doing, you crazy bitch? Getting ready to play doctor.
You always play music during a surgery, right? Let me go.
Please.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Not my problem.
You're the one.
The one who vandalized my car, my boat.
It's you.
I don't know, Christian.
It looks like you could be getting some love handles.
I could fix that for you.
Hell, if you can do it, how hard could it be? You know what I see, Christian? I see an asshole who has spent his whole life hurting other people because he hates himself.
I think the rest of the world needs to see what a mess you really are.
First, we're gonna carve open the eyes a bit so you can actually notice something besides yourself.
You fight me, and I will make you ugly.
I swear to God! After the eyes, we're gonna cut off the other side of the mouth the one that you talk shit out of all the time.
Wait.
Do you think if I stab you here, you'll even bleed considering you don't have a heart? Don't do it, Kimber.
You'll go to jail.
Your career will be over.
I'm pushing 30.
My career is already over.
Kimber, I'm sorry.
I'm really, truly sorry.
You're sorry? Then cry for me.
Cry for me! Goddamn it, cry for me! I tried so hard to make this relationship work.
I tried so hard, Christian.
Why couldn't you just love me? It's not you.
I've never loved anyone.
You know what? I can't kill you.
You're already dead.
Just so we're clear I'm keeping the car.
You can't just leave me here like this.
You'll be fine, Christian.
Your maid comes on Friday.
Sean, sorry.
Megan O'Hara again.
She says it's an emergency.
- I'll call her back.
- She's in your office.
The cancer's metastasized in my lymph nodes.
It's already stage four.
My oncologist thinks the implant operation lowered my immune system.
The stress of the recovery helped the tumors get a strong foothold.
No one could have predicted this, Sean.
It's not your fault.
You warned me of the risks.
There are ways to fight this, Megan.
Chemo won't work this time.
There's already fluid in the lungs.
Then we'll look at other treatments.
I.
C.
H.
therapy, for instance.
It's aggressive, not like chemo.
It heats up cells from the inside- I don't need another doctor right now, Sean.
I need you.
But I can't have you, can I? You're married.
You have kids, a career, everything to lose.
I'm sorry.
This is not your problem.
Hey, you're right.
I do have everything to lose.
That didn't stop me before and it won't stop me now.
I'm here.
I'm afraid, Liz.
Hold my hand during the surgery like you did last night.
Sophia, you are the neediest chick I ever almost dated.
Of course I will.
Sophia, before we begin the surgery, I need to make absolutely sure are you prepared this time? Because it's not gonna grow back.
Yes.
All right.
Let's do it.
Someday we'll find the one who loves us for who we are, Liz.
A girl can dream, right? I need you to count back from 10.
Ten nine eight Let's prep her.
Troy, we offer our clients a wide range of full-body treatments.
Isn't that funny? I've found myself saying the same thing on occasion.
Or I could arrange to work on a specific area of your body if that's what you'd like.
Hey, honey.
Don't you just love this place? Yes.
I was just going over my options.
I already took care of that.
I called ahead for the dual hot stone massages.
It should be under "Troy.
" Dual, as in we share the same room? It's our three-month anniversary, honey.
I thought you'd wanna be together.
I have another surprise for you.
- What the hell is that? - They waxed in your initials, see? K.
T.
? Sweetheart, it's Christian with a "C," not a "K.
" Really? Has it always been that way? So, this must be the better half.
I never knew Christian had such taste.
Merrill Bobolit, M.
D.
It's a pleasure.
Kimber Henry.
Hello.
You metro-sexual, you.
What're you doing here, getting your back waxed? Who told you? Baby, I'm gonna go see if they can fix my "K," okay? Okay.
Wow! I'm betting that one tastes like Golden Grahams.
I really do hate to see two beautiful people in love.
Love, please.
If she wasn't the best sex of my life, she'd be long gone by now.
She's just not bright enough to realize it.
Good in bed, not too bright? Oh, my God, she's my dream woman.
She should be mine.
She's beautiful, doting, everything a guy should want.
But if I wanted to do the high maintenance thing, I'd get a '66 Fiat.
When are you gonna dump her? Merrill, you trying to move in on my girlfriend? When there's a towel on a chaise, that means it's spoken for.
Up! Jesus.
As I was saying, Kimber Henry would be the perfect mother for my children.
My DNA mixed with hers all but assures a blond Jew.
- Wanna make a trade? - Trade for what? For Kimber.
You remember Monica, right? You met her at my house.
I'll fix you up with her and her friend.
A two-for-one.
How about it? You're out of your league, Merrill.
You got nothing I want.
Yes, I do.
My car.
Remember? You're telling me you'd trade your Lamborghini for Kimber? - You're insane.
- Yeah, you're right.
She'll be back on the market soon.
I'll scoop her up then.
Excuse me for trying to allow a painless breakup for you.
You're honestly prepared to give me the car? You know how I operate, Christian.
I see something I like, I go for it.
It's the curse of being rich and impatient.
Excuse me.
Dr.
Troy your girlfriend wanted me to double-check with you.
That was a "C" and not a "K," right? Merrill, I think we can work something out.
Are you sure it's calibrated right? I know.
It's an evil, evil device.
But watch how it works.
140.
You sure about that? If she's gonna be a real woman, she needs to start lying about her weight.
- I'm only trying to be helpful.
- I like her.
Sophia, I need your signature on this patient-consent form.
I already signed one of those after you fixed my Adam's apple and before you did my breasts.
The sexual reassignment surgery has more risks.
Infections are possible.
On average, there's a 15°% chance of hemorrhaging, which can- I could actually die from this? Yes.
By law, I have to have you sign a form specifically for the S.
R.
S.
Okay.
Sure.
Do you need the gender reassignment surgery, Sophia? Can't you just keep the breasts and the Kibbles 'n Bits and be satisfied with the knowledge that emotionally and spiritually you are more of a woman than most? That trade-off works for many in the transgender community but I wanna feel complete.
Honestly, Liz, I'm more concerned about my expanding fat ass than I am about turning my penis into a vagina.
Gaining a few pounds before your bottom surgery is normal, Sophia.
Being off the estrogen is what causes it.
Nothing to worry about.
When you're in my situation, that's when you need to worry.
What situation is that, Liz? Forty.
Single.
Picky.
Liz, you're dating again? Good for you.
Going to bars and being rejected is not something I consider dating.
I'm thinking about starting an employee discount on Botox.
Not that you would need it, Liz.
You're right, Dr.
McNamara, she doesn't need it.
Turn to me, Liz.
You got a beautiful canvas.
You just need to throw some paint on it.
A little concealer under the eyes, a couple of shades of foundation and guess what? You'll look like a 25-year-old lipstick lesbian.
You must know a lot about makeup.
I've had to conceal a lot in my life.
On every level.
My place tonight? You bring the wine and I'll prove to you you don't need a scalpel to turn back time.
You ready to do some homework? Let's see We start with advanced calculus.
No, I agree.
Too boring.
French? Okay, sure.
French it is.
Cara just Matt, I'm with a patient.
You need to knock.
It's Cara.
She moved.
- Moved? - Twitched.
This is a good sign.
Let me finish my exam, and we'll talk later.
Shit.
You weren't doing anything out of line, Sean.
I was due for an exam.
You were giving it to me.
That's not all we were doing.
We can't do this anymore.
I agree.
I meant here.
- Phase one.
- Trust.
Hey, baby! You didn't say you were bringing company.
Sorry, sweetheart.
You remember Merrill, right? - Hi.
- Hello.
Thank you.
What are you doing? We're gonna watch Pay-Per-View tonight.
Is that the dress I hate? You never said you hated this dress.
It makes you look boxy.
Why are you wearing it? I thought we had plans to go to the Conga Room tonight.
Sorry, sweetheart.
Slipped my mind.
I invited some friends to watch the fight.
You probably don't wanna stay for that.
I can't figure out this DIRECTV thing.
You see if you can make that work.
I'm gonna go change.
Can't believe he talks to you like that.
He probably just had a hard day.
Hey, if my gorgeous girlfriend puts on a dress like that I don't care what kind of day I've had, I'm happy.
And I don't break dinner plans.
I'm sorry.
I'm not helping.
If you wanted to talk about it, you'd call a girlfriend or something.
I don't really have many friends here.
Don't feel bad.
I told him, "She's the most beautiful woman in the world.
"She's not an 8.
She's a 15! " He still thinks I'm an 8? But I did the surgery.
I don't wanna sound forward, but here, take my business card.
- You think I need more work done? - No.
I want you to have somebody to call when he's being a dick.
And if you feel the need to unload on somebody - Okay.
You gonna watch the fight? - No.
I think I'm gonna go for a walk and get some air.
Great.
- How'd it go? - Phase one, complete.
- How do I look? - More feminine.
Okay, behold.
I look straight.
I'm sorry.
They don't make a lipstick shade called "bull dyke.
" Can't I look more me? Okay.
But I must say, I'm a little disappointed, Liz.
Because I don't wanna look like a clown? Because you of all people should know that a facade does not determine a person.
Why get a sexual reassignment surgery? Because my facade is hiding my person.
I'm not trying to be a beautiful woman.
I know I'm no Salma Hayek, okay? I'm just trying to get rid of the man on the outside as much as I can so I somewhat can reflect what I am: a woman.
Have you always been a lesbian, Liz? I slept with a man once in college.
But he had long hair and when I closed my eyes and felt it sweeping across my face I pretended he was Joni Mitchell.
What about you? You gay? - Today.
- And tomorrow? Straight.
After the surgery.
You're a conundrum wrapped up in a riddle, babe.
You look beautiful.
I do? I'm sorry.
I pluck too many hairs? It hurts, I know.
No, it's not that.
I'm just so sad.
Why? I just wanna love someone.
And I want someone to love me back.
And now I go to the bars and I used to get looks back when I was younger, you know? And now, I'm invisible.
It's like the whole culture is geared toward 25-year-olds and that's not me anymore.
I know how you feel, Liz.
I'm lonely, too.
I feel like you do, maybe the parade passed me by.
I mean, I had trouble getting men when I was a man.
Didn't have any muscles.
I was a fem, which the boys hate these days.
And now I wanna be a woman who, let's face it still resembles a man.
And I wonder who's gonna want me now? Who'll see beyond the makeup and the surgeries and see the person who's inside? Shit.
This isn't waterproof.
This is the worst girls' night out I ever had.
Me, too.
And yet, it's kind of the best.
I see the person inside you, Sophia.
Right now.
I see you.
I see you, too, Liz.
Eight nine - Okay, come on.
Last one.
- I can't.
You gotta.
Do all the other women you work with need as much help as I do? You're kidding me, right? I wish all my class trained as hard as you.
Okay, we're not finished yet.
Over here.
On your back.
Leg up.
- What are we doing now? - Do you trust me? Julia.
Quelle surprise.
Suzanne! Hi.
Jude, working hard today, are we? You two know each other? Yes, I trained a friend of Suzanne's a few months ago.
I think we're almost done.
Five minutes on the cardio.
- Fancy a smoothie? - Sure.
My treat.
How much for Jude? Are you paying retail, honey? Hell, even if you are, apparently he's worth the money.
Yeah.
He works me out hard.
Oh, my God.
You really don't know, do you? Know what? Sweetheart, he's not a real personal trainer.
That's only how he meets his real clients.
For sex, sweetie.
Don't be shocked.
Enjoy.
You paid him to have sex with you? No, not me, because I do not have the morals of an alley cat.
But a lot of the women in my spinning class have and the word is, once Jude puts you through his bedroom calisthenics you feel the burn for days.
That is not true.
Jude is a student- How do you think he affords those clothes? And that apartment? Not by working at Subway, sweetie.
Hi.
Hi.
Look, I don't know how this is gonna sound seeing in five minutes your scrotum is gonna be turned into a labia majora.
But last night Was incredible.
- You thought so, too? - I can't stop thinking about it.
Me neither.
It's the first time in a long time that I felt- Connected? Yeah.
What do you think that would be like, to want to get rid of your penis the hub of all power? Can you imagine? Actually, I admire her conviction.
- It takes - Balls? - What's going on in here? - She doesn't wanna have the operation.
- What? - Sophia, why? I'm sorry, Dr.
McNamara but I'm having a sexual identity and a sexual preference crisis.
- I'm a wreck.
- Sophia, what happened? Last night I was intimate with someone.
More intimate than I've been in years and now I can't do this today.
I'm confused.
I'm sorry.
Now I'm confused.
I thought you were with Liz last night.
I'm gonna go play golf.
Megan, it's Sean.
My afternoon just opened up.
You're a doctor.
You have to answer that, remember? For one afternoon in my life, I'm gonna do what I wanna do not what I have to do.
Thanks.
- Who is it? - Office.
Shit! Hello? Yeah, all right.
I'll be there.
- I forgot I scheduled surgery tonight.
- Tonight? - Isn't there somebody else on call? - I'll make it up to you.
I promise.
But that's what we're supposed to be doing tonight.
- Hi.
It's me.
- Kimber? You're kidding.
He said he had a surgery.
He didn't even leave me money for cab fare.
Kimber, I hate to break it to you but no plastic surgeon does surgery after 6:00 on a weekday.
It's a diversion.
You think he's seeing someone else? I've done the dinner page thing.
Ever single doctor I know has.
It's an ugly thing, is what it is.
But I stopped after I discovered kabala.
It's okay.
Better to find out now.
- Merrill.
- Phase two, seduction, is complete.
She's in the bathroom barfing up a bottle of Veuve.
It's going great.
We're both going to hell for this, you know.
As long as it ain't tonight.
She's weaving up.
I gotta go.
Jules? Where have you been? Late surgery.
How was your day, Matt? Shitty.
You wanna talk about it? I tried calling you earlier, but the office said you were gone.
You didn't answer your cell phone either.
Well, I'm here now.
What's on your mind? How come you never raised Annie and me with any religious background? Your mother and I thought you should make your own decisions about faith when you're ready.
Do you believe in God at all? Like if we hurt someone and don't take responsibility he knows about it.
Because if that's true we can't really get away with anything, can we? What are you getting at, Matt? I'm saying you can lie to yourself your friends your family.
But you can't lie to God.
So the only thing to do is confess.
Right? How did you find out? When you opened the door and saw us together? What did I see? Stop the games, Matt.
I'm telling you man-to-man.
Yes, I'm having an affair.
I'm gonna end it.
I just needed something and she gave it to me.
How could you cheat on Mom? Your dad left you guys for another woman.
You told me that.
You've been telling me that since I was a little kid about how that hurt you so much.
I'm not my father.
I'm not! Listen to me, Matt.
Nothing in your life is gonna be disrupted.
You cheated on Mom? I don't know you right now.
I won't see her again.
You're more important to me.
This family is more important to me.
We won't tell your mom, and this will all go away.
I promise.
I promise.
Morning.
What are you doing? I was staring at the nose job Christian gave you.
Frankly, I could've done better.
Oh, my God! - Did we sleep together? - Don't you remember? No, we didn't sleep together.
I mean, we slept together, but I didn't sleep.
You snored.
You were really drunk.
Where are my clothes? I gotta go.
Go where? Back to Christian, to see if he'll forgive me.
Forgive you? Come on.
Get back in bed.
Merrill, thank you for last night.
Don't get the wrong impression.
There's nothing going on between us.
You're not my type.
How am I not your type? I make more money than Christian, I'm more famous.
Let's face the facts.
You know Christian will throw you out eventually as your ass continues its inevitable downward slide.
But I won't.
You don't even know me.
Get it through your fuzzy head, okay? I'm not attracted to you! You don't like the hair? Okay.
It's goofy.
I'll change it for you.
Yeah? Well, you'll still be a 4.
I'm sorry.
He's not gonna take you back.
You two may look good together, but you're not what he wants.
You never were.
He loves me.
I know he does.
He traded you for a goddamn car.
How's that for love? Sean, Megan O'Hara again.
Line two.
I'm heading into a consult.
Take a message.
You haven't returned my calls this week.
- Why? - I've been busy.
I don't wanna study.
I wanna talk.
No, Jude.
I get to talk.
You get to listen.
You're a liar.
You're a liar and a fake.
So that's why you called me over today? - 'Cause you found out.
- Yeah.
I found out.
I wanted to tell you.
You, of all people, but I didn't know how.
So say it.
Tell me what you are to my face.
Okay.
I'm not really British.
I'm not from London.
I'm from New Hampshire.
I started the whole accent thing to boost business when I moved out here last year.
You're from New Hampshire.
You know how women like the whole foreign, sophisticated vibe thing.
Keep going.
I told you everything.
You hate me? - I hate myself.
- Why? I've been so desperately lonely that I fell for a con man who's also a hooker.
I wasn't ever your friend.
I was just another paycheck.
- Hold on.
What are you talking about? - Jude, I know! I know women pay you for their orgasms.
Who told you this? Suzanne? You trust that bitch over me? She hates you.
How could you think that about me? That I would rent myself out to women like her? I'm a trainer, Julia, not a whore! I guess 'cause I'm coming clean now why don't we get everything out in the open, okay? I do have feelings for you.
And I know that it's wrong, for the both of us but I can't fight what I feel anymore.
Get out, Jude.
You can't afford me.
So I made up a voice! All right, but don't try and Don't judge me for trying to be a better person, a different person! Aren't you trying to do the same thing? You were a housewife.
Now you're going to medical school, and asking people to perceive you differently! And you won't give me that same break.
You're very sad.
Hi.
Liz.
We know.
Where are my manners? Come in.
Don't mind them, Liz.
They just want me to take advantage of my opportunities and get the surgery.
So do I.
If that's what you want.
I don't understand, Liz.
I thought you were confused, like me.
Come on, Sophia, let's be real.
We came together out of loneliness, not passion.
The truth is you like men.
I like women.
It would be wonderful to look beyond the wrapping for the real person inside.
But I work for a plastic surgeon.
I know more than anyone that never really happens.
Only in fairy tales.
I guess I'm just thrown because we had such chemistry, Liz.
That's rare.
Chemistry can lead to friendship.
And I'm here as your friend to tell you that I think that you want to become a straight woman, and you should.
The doctors have an opening tomorrow afternoon.
The appointment is yours if you want it.
Hey, baby.
See? I'm not mad.
And why would you be? I know, Christian.
About what? Honey, you don't have to lie anymore.
Our whole relationship was built on deceit.
Can't we just end it in truth? I know you traded me for the car.
Merrill told me everything.
- You're not mad? - Mad? How could I be mad? Isn't the Lamborghini worth $250,000? That must mean I'm worth a lot.
At first I was a bit stung.
But then I realized, shit.
You're never gonna settle down.
Why should I? My modeling career is taking off.
That's what I want more than anything.
Even more than you.
I'm glad you realize that, Kimber.
Maybe a break could be good for us.
A break with the occasional benefits.
What are you doing? When I found out how much the car was worth I got hot.
Isn't that weird? - Did he touch you? - He tried.
Doesn't that make you hot, too, baby being able to screw now and then what your biggest competitor couldn't? I know how you love to role play.
I've brought toys.
What kind of toys? Is that as tight as you can make them? Where are you going? To get another toy.
What's that for? You have no feelings whatsoever, do you? - I was wrong.
You do.
- What are you doing, you crazy bitch? Getting ready to play doctor.
You always play music during a surgery, right? Let me go.
Please.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Not my problem.
You're the one.
The one who vandalized my car, my boat.
It's you.
I don't know, Christian.
It looks like you could be getting some love handles.
I could fix that for you.
Hell, if you can do it, how hard could it be? You know what I see, Christian? I see an asshole who has spent his whole life hurting other people because he hates himself.
I think the rest of the world needs to see what a mess you really are.
First, we're gonna carve open the eyes a bit so you can actually notice something besides yourself.
You fight me, and I will make you ugly.
I swear to God! After the eyes, we're gonna cut off the other side of the mouth the one that you talk shit out of all the time.
Wait.
Do you think if I stab you here, you'll even bleed considering you don't have a heart? Don't do it, Kimber.
You'll go to jail.
Your career will be over.
I'm pushing 30.
My career is already over.
Kimber, I'm sorry.
I'm really, truly sorry.
You're sorry? Then cry for me.
Cry for me! Goddamn it, cry for me! I tried so hard to make this relationship work.
I tried so hard, Christian.
Why couldn't you just love me? It's not you.
I've never loved anyone.
You know what? I can't kill you.
You're already dead.
Just so we're clear I'm keeping the car.
You can't just leave me here like this.
You'll be fine, Christian.
Your maid comes on Friday.
Sean, sorry.
Megan O'Hara again.
She says it's an emergency.
- I'll call her back.
- She's in your office.
The cancer's metastasized in my lymph nodes.
It's already stage four.
My oncologist thinks the implant operation lowered my immune system.
The stress of the recovery helped the tumors get a strong foothold.
No one could have predicted this, Sean.
It's not your fault.
You warned me of the risks.
There are ways to fight this, Megan.
Chemo won't work this time.
There's already fluid in the lungs.
Then we'll look at other treatments.
I.
C.
H.
therapy, for instance.
It's aggressive, not like chemo.
It heats up cells from the inside- I don't need another doctor right now, Sean.
I need you.
But I can't have you, can I? You're married.
You have kids, a career, everything to lose.
I'm sorry.
This is not your problem.
Hey, you're right.
I do have everything to lose.
That didn't stop me before and it won't stop me now.
I'm here.
I'm afraid, Liz.
Hold my hand during the surgery like you did last night.
Sophia, you are the neediest chick I ever almost dated.
Of course I will.
Sophia, before we begin the surgery, I need to make absolutely sure are you prepared this time? Because it's not gonna grow back.
Yes.
All right.
Let's do it.
Someday we'll find the one who loves us for who we are, Liz.
A girl can dream, right? I need you to count back from 10.
Ten nine eight Let's prep her.