Paranoia Agent (2004) s01e09 Episode Script
ETC
1
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
A magnificent mushroom
cloud in the sky
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
In the afternoon of birds
pecking at food in an alley
Touching the grass under the sunlight
streaming through the leaves
I'll talk with you
See, on the lunch bench
A dream blossoms
Carry the sound of
the waves in your heart
Sink your blues
Stretch a bridge to tomorrow
Don't worry about tsunami
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
A magnificent mushroom
cloud in the sky
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
The afternoon of birds
pecking at food in an alley
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
The dream I nurtured
on the lunch bench
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
The afternoon, born on the day of the
sunlight streaming through the leaves
Hey, ladies, did you hear?
They say he showed up again.
Shonen Bat.
So scary.
That reminds me.
About the one incident that
happened the other day.
Oh, that one.
They say that was Shonen Bat, too.
I knew it!
You're talking about that one, right?
Some guests at an Inn
somewhere were attacked
Mrs. Kamohara, you just moved here,
so you don't know, do you?
It's OK.
You don't have to try so hard.
That unit over there.
In Building C.
Tsuruta's son was suffering from
"entrance-exam neurosis", and
The poor thing.
Do you know how many times he failed?
And what? Are you saying
Shonen Bat got him?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
The truth is
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Y equals square root
of AX plus B equals
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Square root of A multiplied
by the sum of X plus over B
square root of A multiplied
by the sum of X plus over B
What?
Osamu, sweetie,
I brought a midnight snack
I don't need any midnight snacks!
I have an important practice-exam
tomorrow. Leave me alone!
Don't catch a cold, alright?
I know I dropped something
Now, begin!
It's OK.
I just have to keep a cool head
and just do it, and I'll be OK
You gotta be kidding
Excuse me! I'm feeling ill!
Oh, come on!
No way
There's no way!
I'm in here!
Damn
I said I'm in here
I memorized them
I memorized them with so much effort
Finished I'm finished
Help me!
What on earth?!
You!
That's scary.
I just heard he killed himself.
I had no idea that's how it happened.
I know.
I couldn't believe it first, either.
That reminds me!
Speaking of which, I also heard
What?
Is it about Shonen Bat?
You know, the incident the other day.
Near 4th Street
Oh, the mother-in-law murder
at Famille Palace Condo!
The mother-in-law murder!
So, did Shonen Bat
do that one as well?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
The truth is
You call this fish-meatball soup?
How dare you serve me ready-made
food like this from a supermarket?
So you don't like it?
You should say
"Does it not suit your palate?"
And I don't know if that's
supposed to be fashionable or what
but if you have time to dye your hair
you should have time to learn how
to speak properly first!
What kind of a look is that?
Who do you think made the
down-payment for this condo?
I sold the house in the country just
because Toshiyuki begged me to
but I'd never thought I'd be living
in a rabbit hole like this instead.
No wonder you two haven't
managed to have any kids yet.
We haven't managed
because you live here!
Toshi, can't you come
home early for a change?
I can't stand it any more.
Your mother?
Asleep.
Look, how about next Wednesday?
It's my birthday.
Can't we at least go somewhere alone?
Toshi, darling?
It's me.
Oh, don't worry. A man has to give
priority to his work over everything else.
You can't be expected to
remember her birthday, right?
Old hag!
Since I'm always causing
you a lot of trouble.
Happy birthday.
Now make some fish-meatballs.
First, fillet some sardines.
Then, mince and mash the fish-meat.
Use eggs to make it
stick together.
The Ayukawa Family recipe
also calls for tofu, and
What?
Are you going to disobey me?
Well, then you can pay me back
the down-payment money if
I've had it!
I've had it!!
I can't stand it any more!
Toshi?
Toshi, darling?
Toshi! Toshi!!
Toshi, darling!
Toshi, darling!
Help me!
OK.
How scary.
But Shonen Bat is supposed to
attack people who are cornered, right?
Then shouldn't the young wife
have been the victim?
So he made a mistake.
I guess because the mother-in-law
got to the door first.
The mother-in-law?
Shonen Bat has a
tough job, doesn't he?
Speaking of getting the wrong person
I've heard a story
What, is it about Shonen Bat?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
I heard it from a friend of
mine who works at the women's clinic.
Hachiya Women's Clinic
Hachiya Women's Clinic
Congratulations, Mrs. Lizuka
Congratulations, Mrs. Lizuka
you're three weeks pregnant.
Thank you so much!
We had our misgivings about
in-vitro fertilization
since it's so expensive and everything,
but I'm so glad we did it.
We provide our patients with
"Evidence Based Medicine"
in other words, treatments that
are based on scientific grounds.
You used the wrong sperm and egg?!
Give me that!
Sperm: Naoto Kawakami
Egg: Sanae Shimomura
They're both wrong!
The fetus has no relation
whatsoever to the parents-to-be!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Doctor
Burn it.
If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!
See, this is the head,
and this is the body.
My baby.
Yes, it sure is.
Look, you can see it's beginning to
take a clear human form now.
My baby's growing well, isn't it?
Yes, very well.
You're in intense pain?
The baby's moving so
violently, that it hurts a lot.
That bad?
I wonder if it's a
premature delivery.
Well, let's take a look.
Doctor
Tell me, it's not a miscarriage?
You'll be fine.
Just fine!
It's your baby.
My my baby!
Yes, your baby!
That very healthy baby of yours!
See, it's your adorable baby!
That can't be true!
There's no way such medical
malpractice could happen!
Besides, how can an unborn baby
be holding a bat in its hand?
Shonen Bat already exists now.
How can he be born in the future?
Wait a minute.
Mrs. Kamohara, you said your
husband is a scriptwriter, didn't you?
A scriptwriter?
It means that his job is
to make up stories, right?
So he's got a lot of influence, right?
And makes a lot of money, right?
And people call him Sensei, right?
Then his wife should do a little
better job of making up stories, too.
Oh, but that story reminds me.
My sister's acquaintance's
cousin's daughter
What, is it about Shonen Bat?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
The truth is
Hiroki do you remember?
About the day we met
Of course I do.
I won't forget it as long as I live.
It was a fateful encounter.
I think you are the
last gift that God gave me.
When the last of those dead
leaves fall, my life will also end
Don't be ridiculous!
You're going to get well, Akiko!
But I'm happy
for being able to spend
the last days of my life with you
Akiko I won't let you go.
I absolutely refuse to let you die!
If
If I lose you
If you're taken away from me, I
How can I go on living?!
It's done!
Akiko!!
That's sad, isn't it?
Well, but at least they were
able to die together.
Yeah, if they were together.
Well but!
There's something strange
about that story.
I mean, that's a famous
A famous what?
Oh, yes, speaking of famous!
What, is it about Shonen Bat?
I was watching TV with my
husband the other day. And
It's the bottom of the ninth inning,
with two outs.
One more hit and it could turn out
to be a walk-away victory.
The pitcher, Abukawa,
has been doing well so far
but it looks like the batting lineup of the
opponent team has caught up with him.
Now, the infielders are forming
a huddle on the mound.
It's his first year. Such support
from his teammates is essential.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry about it!
Only one more to go.
Three strikes and we're out of here.
Right!
You've been good with the heat
so make it look like a fastball and
then give him a breaking ball down low.
All right?
OK!
No.
Better to make him run
so go low and outside.
I'll take care of him after that.
Ah, OK.
No, why don't you go low and inside.
That way I can make a diving catch.
OK.
Wow, the outfielders are running
towards the mound now.
That's very nice.
Such support encourages
a rookie like nothing else.
Try to jam him up and high and inside.
I'll catch it!
OK
No! You want to go high and outside!
Trust me.
Can you throw it down the middle for me?
My son's watching in the stands
I want him to see me make
the final play, to end the game.
All right.
Abukawa, you do whatever you want.
Everything depends on you now.
We're counting on you, Abukawa!
Now, the game continues.
Having received encouragement
from his teammates
what will Abukawa throw?
What am I supposed to throw?
What am I supposed to do?
That can't be true!
I mean, you can't possibly hear the
conversation between the players
and besides, if it really did happen,
it would've been on the news
I saw that game, too.
Me, too.
What, didn't you know, Mrs. Kamohara?
It's a pretty famous story.
Hello.
Hello.
Who's that?
That's Mr. Arizuka.
You know, that Arizuka
That Arizuka?
What, "the" Mr. Arizuka?
Hang on, what happened
to make him look like that?
Well
And he ate everything?
That'll make him put
on weight, all right.
Yeah, that will.
But you know, imagine not being
able to eat in this day and age.
I have!
I've heard this story.
Shonen Bat got a man
suffering from starvation.
It's been 100 days.
I can't take it any longer!
I'm hungry.
Is that a mast?
No, a periscope?
Hey, what kind of story is that?!
Stop talking gibberish, woman!
There's no way something
like that could happen!
If you're a wife of a screenwriter
you should at least give it an unexpected
twist in the end, or something!
- That's right!
- That's right!
- So true!
- My story's even better!
- So true!
How about this, then?
What, they found out about
my corrupt dealings?
Call Shonen Bat!
Shonen Bat!
If we don't act now, I'll get arrested!
They say Shonen Bat appears
to a person who's cornered!
However
What are you doing?
Call Shonen Bat, now!
Well, but
How do you know a politician?
If you're gonna talk rubbish,
do it while you're sleeping!
If you have to lie to us,
at least make it a better one!
- It doesn't sound real!
- Oh, please!
- It doesn't sound real!
- Indeed!
- It doesn't sound real!
Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
I love you
Thank you for calling.
Thank you for your continuing business.
This is your paper recycler.
If you have any old newspapers
or old magazines at home
we'll take them, and in exchange
we'll give you toilet paper
Honey?
Honey?
What's wrong?
What happened to you?
Shonen Bat
Shonen Bat
Hey, how did he attack you?
Tell me how he attacked you!
Ambulance
Hey! Hey, come on!
How did he attack you?
How did he attack you?!
ETC
To begin
By the twist of the passage of time
the King of Azuchi takes the command.
And a monkey entertains a fox.
Healing patches the pieces of a dream.
Flames break out left and right.
A falcon runs and runs,
holding it in his arms.
Who's plotting the Honnoji Incident?
And then
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
A magnificent mushroom
cloud in the sky
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
In the afternoon of birds
pecking at food in an alley
Touching the grass under the sunlight
streaming through the leaves
I'll talk with you
See, on the lunch bench
A dream blossoms
Carry the sound of
the waves in your heart
Sink your blues
Stretch a bridge to tomorrow
Don't worry about tsunami
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
A magnificent mushroom
cloud in the sky
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
The afternoon of birds
pecking at food in an alley
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
The dream I nurtured
on the lunch bench
Raa-eee-yaa Ra-ra-e-yo-ra
The afternoon, born on the day of the
sunlight streaming through the leaves
Hey, ladies, did you hear?
They say he showed up again.
Shonen Bat.
So scary.
That reminds me.
About the one incident that
happened the other day.
Oh, that one.
They say that was Shonen Bat, too.
I knew it!
You're talking about that one, right?
Some guests at an Inn
somewhere were attacked
Mrs. Kamohara, you just moved here,
so you don't know, do you?
It's OK.
You don't have to try so hard.
That unit over there.
In Building C.
Tsuruta's son was suffering from
"entrance-exam neurosis", and
The poor thing.
Do you know how many times he failed?
And what? Are you saying
Shonen Bat got him?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
The truth is
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Y equals square root
of AX plus B equals
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Fourth time pays for all!
Don't run away!
Attain academic goals!
Square root of A multiplied
by the sum of X plus over B
square root of A multiplied
by the sum of X plus over B
What?
Osamu, sweetie,
I brought a midnight snack
I don't need any midnight snacks!
I have an important practice-exam
tomorrow. Leave me alone!
Don't catch a cold, alright?
I know I dropped something
Now, begin!
It's OK.
I just have to keep a cool head
and just do it, and I'll be OK
You gotta be kidding
Excuse me! I'm feeling ill!
Oh, come on!
No way
There's no way!
I'm in here!
Damn
I said I'm in here
I memorized them
I memorized them with so much effort
Finished I'm finished
Help me!
What on earth?!
You!
That's scary.
I just heard he killed himself.
I had no idea that's how it happened.
I know.
I couldn't believe it first, either.
That reminds me!
Speaking of which, I also heard
What?
Is it about Shonen Bat?
You know, the incident the other day.
Near 4th Street
Oh, the mother-in-law murder
at Famille Palace Condo!
The mother-in-law murder!
So, did Shonen Bat
do that one as well?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
The truth is
You call this fish-meatball soup?
How dare you serve me ready-made
food like this from a supermarket?
So you don't like it?
You should say
"Does it not suit your palate?"
And I don't know if that's
supposed to be fashionable or what
but if you have time to dye your hair
you should have time to learn how
to speak properly first!
What kind of a look is that?
Who do you think made the
down-payment for this condo?
I sold the house in the country just
because Toshiyuki begged me to
but I'd never thought I'd be living
in a rabbit hole like this instead.
No wonder you two haven't
managed to have any kids yet.
We haven't managed
because you live here!
Toshi, can't you come
home early for a change?
I can't stand it any more.
Your mother?
Asleep.
Look, how about next Wednesday?
It's my birthday.
Can't we at least go somewhere alone?
Toshi, darling?
It's me.
Oh, don't worry. A man has to give
priority to his work over everything else.
You can't be expected to
remember her birthday, right?
Old hag!
Since I'm always causing
you a lot of trouble.
Happy birthday.
Now make some fish-meatballs.
First, fillet some sardines.
Then, mince and mash the fish-meat.
Use eggs to make it
stick together.
The Ayukawa Family recipe
also calls for tofu, and
What?
Are you going to disobey me?
Well, then you can pay me back
the down-payment money if
I've had it!
I've had it!!
I can't stand it any more!
Toshi?
Toshi, darling?
Toshi! Toshi!!
Toshi, darling!
Toshi, darling!
Help me!
OK.
How scary.
But Shonen Bat is supposed to
attack people who are cornered, right?
Then shouldn't the young wife
have been the victim?
So he made a mistake.
I guess because the mother-in-law
got to the door first.
The mother-in-law?
Shonen Bat has a
tough job, doesn't he?
Speaking of getting the wrong person
I've heard a story
What, is it about Shonen Bat?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
I heard it from a friend of
mine who works at the women's clinic.
Hachiya Women's Clinic
Hachiya Women's Clinic
Congratulations, Mrs. Lizuka
Congratulations, Mrs. Lizuka
you're three weeks pregnant.
Thank you so much!
We had our misgivings about
in-vitro fertilization
since it's so expensive and everything,
but I'm so glad we did it.
We provide our patients with
"Evidence Based Medicine"
in other words, treatments that
are based on scientific grounds.
You used the wrong sperm and egg?!
Give me that!
Sperm: Naoto Kawakami
Egg: Sanae Shimomura
They're both wrong!
The fetus has no relation
whatsoever to the parents-to-be!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Doctor
Burn it.
If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!
See, this is the head,
and this is the body.
My baby.
Yes, it sure is.
Look, you can see it's beginning to
take a clear human form now.
My baby's growing well, isn't it?
Yes, very well.
You're in intense pain?
The baby's moving so
violently, that it hurts a lot.
That bad?
I wonder if it's a
premature delivery.
Well, let's take a look.
Doctor
Tell me, it's not a miscarriage?
You'll be fine.
Just fine!
It's your baby.
My my baby!
Yes, your baby!
That very healthy baby of yours!
See, it's your adorable baby!
That can't be true!
There's no way such medical
malpractice could happen!
Besides, how can an unborn baby
be holding a bat in its hand?
Shonen Bat already exists now.
How can he be born in the future?
Wait a minute.
Mrs. Kamohara, you said your
husband is a scriptwriter, didn't you?
A scriptwriter?
It means that his job is
to make up stories, right?
So he's got a lot of influence, right?
And makes a lot of money, right?
And people call him Sensei, right?
Then his wife should do a little
better job of making up stories, too.
Oh, but that story reminds me.
My sister's acquaintance's
cousin's daughter
What, is it about Shonen Bat?
You won't tell anyone?
No, no!
The truth is
Hiroki do you remember?
About the day we met
Of course I do.
I won't forget it as long as I live.
It was a fateful encounter.
I think you are the
last gift that God gave me.
When the last of those dead
leaves fall, my life will also end
Don't be ridiculous!
You're going to get well, Akiko!
But I'm happy
for being able to spend
the last days of my life with you
Akiko I won't let you go.
I absolutely refuse to let you die!
If
If I lose you
If you're taken away from me, I
How can I go on living?!
It's done!
Akiko!!
That's sad, isn't it?
Well, but at least they were
able to die together.
Yeah, if they were together.
Well but!
There's something strange
about that story.
I mean, that's a famous
A famous what?
Oh, yes, speaking of famous!
What, is it about Shonen Bat?
I was watching TV with my
husband the other day. And
It's the bottom of the ninth inning,
with two outs.
One more hit and it could turn out
to be a walk-away victory.
The pitcher, Abukawa,
has been doing well so far
but it looks like the batting lineup of the
opponent team has caught up with him.
Now, the infielders are forming
a huddle on the mound.
It's his first year. Such support
from his teammates is essential.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry about it!
Only one more to go.
Three strikes and we're out of here.
Right!
You've been good with the heat
so make it look like a fastball and
then give him a breaking ball down low.
All right?
OK!
No.
Better to make him run
so go low and outside.
I'll take care of him after that.
Ah, OK.
No, why don't you go low and inside.
That way I can make a diving catch.
OK.
Wow, the outfielders are running
towards the mound now.
That's very nice.
Such support encourages
a rookie like nothing else.
Try to jam him up and high and inside.
I'll catch it!
OK
No! You want to go high and outside!
Trust me.
Can you throw it down the middle for me?
My son's watching in the stands
I want him to see me make
the final play, to end the game.
All right.
Abukawa, you do whatever you want.
Everything depends on you now.
We're counting on you, Abukawa!
Now, the game continues.
Having received encouragement
from his teammates
what will Abukawa throw?
What am I supposed to throw?
What am I supposed to do?
That can't be true!
I mean, you can't possibly hear the
conversation between the players
and besides, if it really did happen,
it would've been on the news
I saw that game, too.
Me, too.
What, didn't you know, Mrs. Kamohara?
It's a pretty famous story.
Hello.
Hello.
Who's that?
That's Mr. Arizuka.
You know, that Arizuka
That Arizuka?
What, "the" Mr. Arizuka?
Hang on, what happened
to make him look like that?
Well
And he ate everything?
That'll make him put
on weight, all right.
Yeah, that will.
But you know, imagine not being
able to eat in this day and age.
I have!
I've heard this story.
Shonen Bat got a man
suffering from starvation.
It's been 100 days.
I can't take it any longer!
I'm hungry.
Is that a mast?
No, a periscope?
Hey, what kind of story is that?!
Stop talking gibberish, woman!
There's no way something
like that could happen!
If you're a wife of a screenwriter
you should at least give it an unexpected
twist in the end, or something!
- That's right!
- That's right!
- So true!
- My story's even better!
- So true!
How about this, then?
What, they found out about
my corrupt dealings?
Call Shonen Bat!
Shonen Bat!
If we don't act now, I'll get arrested!
They say Shonen Bat appears
to a person who's cornered!
However
What are you doing?
Call Shonen Bat, now!
Well, but
How do you know a politician?
If you're gonna talk rubbish,
do it while you're sleeping!
If you have to lie to us,
at least make it a better one!
- It doesn't sound real!
- Oh, please!
- It doesn't sound real!
- Indeed!
- It doesn't sound real!
Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
I love you
Thank you for calling.
Thank you for your continuing business.
This is your paper recycler.
If you have any old newspapers
or old magazines at home
we'll take them, and in exchange
we'll give you toilet paper
Honey?
Honey?
What's wrong?
What happened to you?
Shonen Bat
Shonen Bat
Hey, how did he attack you?
Tell me how he attacked you!
Ambulance
Hey! Hey, come on!
How did he attack you?
How did he attack you?!
ETC
To begin
By the twist of the passage of time
the King of Azuchi takes the command.
And a monkey entertains a fox.
Healing patches the pieces of a dream.
Flames break out left and right.
A falcon runs and runs,
holding it in his arms.
Who's plotting the Honnoji Incident?
And then