Preacher (2016) s01e09 Episode Script

1 (announcer) Previously, on "Preacher" But you drink blood.
(Cassidy) It helps me heal.
Is it possible to bring someone back from hell? He called me.
He s-said he had my boy.
(Jesse Custer) You're not really here, are you, Eugene? Drag that preacher outta my church! What Quincannon's doing can't be legal.
I'm gonna help 'em.
Jesse was a criminal.
I never seen a man more in love with killin' than you.
(gun firing) (crows cawing) Good.
(grunting) Well, that sells it.
The other option, then.
[Wind whistling.]
[Horse neighs.]
Woman: Multiplication, six times table.
Begin.
Children: 6 times 1 is 6.
6 times 2 is 12.
6 times 3 is 18.
6 times 4 is 24.
[Woman laughs.]
[Mid-tempo piano playing.]
[Singing in Chinese.]
[Singing in Chinese continues.]
[Singing in Chinese continues.]
[Door creaking.]
[Music stops.]
[Glass clinking.]
Come in, Mister.
Storm's coming.
Come sit by the fire.
Man: Mighty proud of you, son.
Mighty proud.
Ladies and gentlemen, this here is some fine Christian charity.
Yes, it is.
And you are right.
You are welcome to join us.
For this town takes in all kinds, it does.
The woman who sells her body and the man who pays for it.
The hateful, the weary, the broken, the lost, and even the Butcher of Gettysburg.
[Crowd murmuring.]
Killer of 77 men with his own hands.
After all, there is no sin too great that forbids entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven.
The only price of admission is to love the Lord Jesus Christ.
Now, we all here have opened up our hearts to Jesus.
Will you accept him in your heart? Will you proclaim your love for our lord and savior, Jesus Christ? Right here.
[Glass clinking.]
Right here in front of us all.
I love my horse.
I love my wife.
And I love my little girl.
And as for Jesus he can join us all in hell.
- [Woman screams.]
- Whoa, whoa.
[Guns cock, people screaming.]
All right, all right, hey! Hey! [Chuckling.]
Now what what the hell you w [Gunshot, screaming.]
I want you to finish the song.
[Music resumes.]
[People screaming, gunfire.]
[Woman screams.]
[Gunfire continues.]
[Music continues.]
[Gunfire continues.]
[Screams.]
[Singing continues.]
[Footsteps.]
[Piano plays sour notes.]
[Gun cocks.]
[Breathes shakily.]
[Breathes shakily.]
[Sword unsheathes.]
[Blood splatters.]
[Thud.]
[Piano keys thumping.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Horse neighs.]
[Thumping stops.]
[Glass rattling loudly.]
[Rumbling, horse neighs.]
[Loud creaking.]
[Glass shattering.]
[Rumbling and crashing.]
Where's Eugene? Told you.
I sent him to hell.
Jonny Du Valle, an old high-school buddy of mine, last 20 years or so, he's been the assistant warden down at Huntsville Penitentiary.
Which is where you're headed, most likely.
And not more than a year or so ago, Jonny was telling me that child killers are not particularly welcome.
Mnh-mnh.
Not amongst screws or the inmates, either one.
[Smacks lips.]
Now, this one child killer was feeling so unwelcome, got to the point that he he jumped, or he dived, head first off his top bunk.
He dived.
Repeatedly.
Over and over and over.
Finally, he got the job done, snapped his own neck.
Jonny's response to that tragedy was to remove the top bunks.
All in the name of justice.
Preacher, you're gonna wish you was in hell.
I'm sorry, Sheriff.
I'll see you Sunday.
[Grunts.]
[Tires screech.]
How did he For crying out loud.
[Country music plays on radio.]
[Country music continues.]
[Bird chirps.]
[Door opens, bell jingles.]
Gentlemen.
Welcome to Distant Vistas.
How can I help you? [British accent.]
We want to take a trip.
Sit, sit.
I just got a tip on a wonderful package rate to Nova Scotia.
It's Lobster Carnival.
Somewhere further south.
How about Tasmania? Mm! Sunsets on Cradle Mountain, and I hear Rod Stewart is headlining the Festival of Voices this year.
Much further south.
[British accent.]
We want to go to hell.
What makes you think I could get you there? Maybe we're wrong.
Maybe you can't.
Hold on.
Can you help us or not? Is this really our only option? [Chair scrapes.]
You have papers? Unregistered.
That's extra.
- Departure date? - Today.
[Keys clicking.]
- Names? - Deblanc and Fiore.
[Keys click.]
Occupation? You're going to hell.
Someone may ask.
- Serial killer.
- Architect.
[Keys clicking.]
Shuttle will pick you up precisely at the designated location.
Payment in advance.
Not sure this is gonna cut it.
What else do you want? The big one with me in back for 20 minutes.
If that's what it takes.
He's not going anywhere.
What if I report you? Then we'll report you.
[Key clicks.]
[Printer whirring.]
[Rodents squeaking.]
[Knock on door, cat meows.]
What's going on? It's Cassidy.
He's not healing.
Not healing? What do you mean? You freak out a lot, Emily? 'Cause you look like you freak out a lot.
[Animal chatters.]
This time, don't.
Cassidy's a vampire, okay? [Cat meows.]
Are you okay with that? You good? Can you deal? Good.
He was in the sunlight.
He got burned pretty bad.
He's asleep now, but when he wakes up, he's gonna be hungry, and I gave him hospital blood, but that didn't work.
So I guess he needs, like, alive blood for something like this, so I've been giving him [Cat meows.]
well, as you can see.
[Footsteps retreat.]
Is he dan dangerous? Not if you don't go in there.
Just, you know, open the door a crack and throw in a hamster or chicken or something done.
Here's some cash if you need more critters.
Don't go to Pet Express 'cause they're onto me.
[Keys clatter.]
You're leaving? But you you know about Jesse, right? That he's in trouble? What kind of trouble? W-Where to start? He made a bet with Odin Quincannon about the church, and You know what, I actually don't give a shit.
I am done with Jesse Custer.
He can be your boyfriend now.
You can go to the movies, eat popcorn.
He can touch your tits.
All yours.
I have a boyfriend.
Really? Yeah, I'm seeing the mayor.
Nice.
Good for you.
- Who's mayor again? - Miles? Miles Person? Sort of ginger goatee, khaki pants.
A-Average height.
Oh, yeah.
- Nice.
- Yeah, he's the mayor.
He's been chasing me, like, forever.
So, yeah.
He's cool.
He sounds cool.
Anyway, thanks for, uh, taking over.
Sure.
Well, where are you going? I'm gonna kill a man in Albuquerque.
[Cat meows.]
[Country music plays on radio.]
[Sizzling.]
[Grunts.]
Better? Yeah, much.
Thanks, Jackie.
Maple syrup, Preacher? Thanks.
- Here.
- [Sighs.]
Merlot? For breakfast? Yeah, why not? So, Jackie and I got a bet.
She says you're off your rocker.
I say you're only half off your rocker.
You heard? Whole town's talking about it.
You gonna bring down God almighty hisself to church on Sunday? Sheriff don't catch me first.
The Lord God above, creator of the universe.
Mm-hmm.
How in the world are you gonna do that? You'll see.
Mmm.
Great pancakes, Jackie.
- Thank you, Preacher.
- Mm.
[Guinea pig squeaks.]
[Muffled grumbling.]
[Pounding.]
[Slow, heavy footstep.]
[Cellphone ringing.]
- Hello? - Hey! I got your message.
Yeah, I-I'll pick up the kids from school, no problem.
And if you play your cards right, I may also pick up a bottle of that panhandle Pinot Grigio I was telling you about.
Oh, and you know what? Let's say I stay over this time.
You know, let the kids see my ugly mug in the morning.
[Laughing.]
Emily, are you there? Sorry, what what did you say? I said, I'm I'm I'm staying over.
Okay, yeah.
[Lock creaks.]
[Cassidy growls.]
[Thud, guinea pig squeaks.]
[Loud munching.]
[Slurping.]
[Growls.]
[Gasps.]
[Grunts.]
[Indistinct radio chatter.]
[Sighs heavily.]
I left the radio on for her.
Maybe it's not such a good idea, but I'm tired of sitting around here.
This at least, you know, shows initiative.
Why don't we just call heaven instead? We confess, tell them everything, and throw ourselves on their mercy.
We discussed that.
They'd separate us forever.
Still, we wouldn't be going to hell, also.
It's a tough one.
Why don't we toss a coin? Heads we go to heaven, tails we go to hell.
Haven't done a coin toss in ages! Hell.
[Scoffs.]
Double or nothing.
Heaven.
Thank God.
Heaven it is.
Get the phone.
Whew! Good thing, too.
You have no idea what it's like down there, believe me.
What is it? I put it under the bed.
I know it.
Under the bed? Under the bed?! You left a telephone with a direct line to heaven's throne under the bed?! Thought it was clever.
Who checks under a bed anymore?! It's gone.
Looks like we're going to hell.
[Sighs.]
[Siren chirps.]
I'm looking for a private island.
What are you running away from? [Rodent squeaking.]
Why do you ask that? People never run away from anything.
You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps.
Clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out.
We scratch and and claw, but only at the air.
Only at each other.
And for all of it, we never budge an inch.
Sometimes we deliberately step into those traps.
I was born in mine.
I don't mind it anymore.
Oh, but you should.
You should mind it.
Oh, I do [chuckles.]
but I say I don't.
Cassidy: Please! I'm hungry! Someone, please! The way I heard, the way she spoke to you.
Sometimes when she talks to me like that, I feel I'd like to go over there and curse her and to leave her forever.
Or at least defy her.
[Grunts.]
[Thud.]
[Cellphone ringing.]
Emily: [Crying.]
Help me.
H-Hang on.
I-I-I can't hear you.
What? Miles, Miles, help me.
[Cries.]
Miles, help me! Wait, what's wrong? Emily: [Sobbing.]
He got out.
Oh, my God, he's gonna kill me.
Who? What? W-Where are you, Em? Walter O'Hare's.
Come quick.
Please? I'm hiding in the [Phone beeps.]
Em? [Door opens, closes.]
[Rodents squeaking.]
Emily? Emily.
[Goat bleats.]
[Thud in distance.]
Emily? [Floorboards creaking.]
[Thud.]
[Door creaks.]
[Flies buzzing.]
Oh, my God.
N-No.
Emily! Hey, Emily! [Pounding on door.]
Emily! Come on, unlock the door! Emily! Let me out of here! [Pounding continues.]
Man: Really? - [Gasps.]
- [Screaming.]
[Crunching and splattering.]
[Screaming continues.]
[Panting, gags.]
[Radio chatter.]
Henry: The government fellas paid up and left right after lunch.
Juanita went in to clean up, called you right away.
Woman on radio: Acres of cotton already planted emerged and were in excellent condition.
But some cotton acres were yet to be planted.
Rains received earlier in the year kept soil moisture levels high and, with the high temperatures, made for great cotton-growing conditions.
[Liquid splashes.]
Some producers feel [Radio chatter continues.]
[Suspenseful music plays.]
Henry, call an ambulance! You're gonna be all right now.
We have an ambulance on the way, and we're gonna get you to a hospital.
Kill me.
No, no, no.
Don't talk that way.
Don't talk that way.
Sheriff's here.
I'll take care of you.
You're gonna be all right, honey.
Kill me.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
You look at me.
You you are gonna be all right.
You stay with me now, all right? You stay with me.
Kill me.
[Radio chatter continues.]
[Softly.]
Kill me.
Kill me.
[Gagging.]
[Breathing heavily.]
[Pebbles rattling.]
[Brakes squeal.]
Sorry, no carry-ons.
What about my comics? It's all right, my dear.
Leave 'em behind.
[Sighs.]
Okay.
There you go.
You're free.
[Guinea pig squeaks.]
Go on, now.
Go on, now, scoot.
[Footsteps approach.]
Tulip around? She went to Albuquerque.
What are you doing here? Just setting them free.
Anyway, I got to go get my kids.
[Sighs.]
Oh, and your mate's inside.
[Flies buzzing.]
Ohh.
Go away.
Cassidy.
You should go, Preacher.
It's not safe for you here.
Oh, Jesus.
You killed the mayor.
I'll kill you, too! [Breathing heavily.]
[Sighs.]
I told you what I was.
And now you see.
You can leave.
I'm not going anywhere.
You saw me, too, Cassidy.
The worst part of me.
And I'm so sorry.
Jesse Custer, with the pretty girl and the kung fu moves.
What have you to be sorry for, huh? Plenty.
But right now, I'm just so sorry I let you burn.
No.
Put me out pretty quick.
Not quick enough.
You put me out.
That's what matters.
[Inhales sharply.]
So, what do we do now? Would you fancy a shag, or want to just hold hands or something? [Chuckles.]
Well let me ask you something.
If I killed the mayor, what would you do? I'd help you get rid of the body.
Right.
Let's do that, then, shall we? You hear about Jesse Custer? He absconded.
Jesse Custer? Root's worrying his shirt off.
There's no need.
Jesse'll be at church on Sunday.
You bet your life on it.
What do you think Preacher's gonna do? Well, I'll tell you what he's gonna do.
He's gonna stand in front of the whole town with egg on his face and he's gonna denounce God, and the greatest lie ever told's gonna get untold.
Other than that, Jesse Custer's gonna do nothing at all.
Hey, padre! [Rattles.]
Come here a sec.
What are you doing? It's a direct line to heaven's throne.
Excuse me for being curious.
Have a listen to that.
No dial tone, no operator.
Bloody thing doesn't even turn on.
No, they said Oh, shit.
I need angel hands.
Otherwise it won't work.
Oh, yeah, no problem there, padre.
I can get you angel hands.
Okay.
[Floorboard creaks.]
Finish up in here.
I got to make a call.
[Sighs.]
All right, Your Honor.
Let's get you tucked in nice and cozy.
[Line rings.]
It's Tulip.
Say something.
[Voicemail beeps.]
Hey.
It's me.
I just want to tell you I had pancakes this morning.
It reminded me of when we were on the run from the Rodriguez brothers back in 2010? Something like that.
Anyway, I remember we ate at a diner just outside Kansas City.
You asked the waitress for M&M pancakes.
She said, "That's not on the menu.
" And you like it how you like it, so you said, "You got M&Ms, right? You got pancakes.
So you bring them to me and I'll put them in there myself.
" That's what you did.
One by one.
So, yeah, I guess I was thinking about that, and Anyway I just wanted to say for me it's just you.
Till the end of the world.
[Receiver clicks.]
[Ominous music plays.]
All right, Carlos.
[Whimpering.]
[Snoring lightly.]
[Wind howling.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Door opens.]
[Wind howling.]
[Woman coughs.]
[Water dripping.]
[Singing in German.]
[Singing continues.]
You have to go.
[Coughs.]
Two days.
Three at most.
Come back to us.
[Thunder rumbles.]
[Bird screeches.]
Man: What do you say to that, sir? Do you agree, yes or no? That this is paradise.
It ain't.
[Ominous music plays.]
[Children shouting playfully.]
Have it ready for you tomorrow.
Today.
Morning first thing.
It's the best I can do.
Man: And Noah said unto God, after 40 long nights on that Ark, "Forgive me, oh, Lord, but I cannot stop stroking my cock.
" [Laughter.]
Can I get an amen, boys? - There we go.
- Make him watch.
[Woman grunts, laughter.]
- I know you.
- [Up-tempo piano playing.]
I do.
Where was it again? You have yourself a good morning, now.
[Wind whistling.]
Hey, Mister! Hey! Hi, cowboy! We're headed to Ratwater! Mom! [Screams.]
Man: Make the kid watch.
[Laughter.]
Hey, I remember you now.
[Thud, crowd gasps.]
40 and 41.
Come on, son.
Gettysburg.
Third day, Pickett's charge.
I never seen a man more in love with killing than you.
Lost a lot of good men that day.
Lost a lot of horses, too.
No.
[Gunshot, horse shrieks.]
[Wind howling.]
[Solemn music plays.]
[Bird cries.]
[Squawking.]
Children: 6 times 5 is 30.
[Gun cocks.]
I want you to finish the song.
[Gunfire, man singing in Chinese, distorted screams.]
[Fast-forward singing, screams.]
[Blade whooshes.]
[Bottles rattling.]
[Rumbling.]
[Woman singing lullaby in German.]
[Singing continues.]
Come back to us.
[Echoing.]
Two days.
Three at most.
What do you say to that, sir? Do you agree, yes or no? [Echoing.]
This is paradise? That this is paradise.
That this is paradise.
It ain't.
Have it ready for you tomorrow.
[Laughter.]
Man: I know you.
Hey, Mister! Mom! - I remember you now.
- 41.
[Gunshot.]
Woman: [Echoing.]
You have to go.
Come back to us.
You have to go.
You have to go.
Come back to us.
Children: 6 times 5 is Man: Will you open up your heart to him? Your love for our lord and savior, Jesus Christ? He can join us all in hell.
[Gunfire.]
- You have to go.
- Hi, cowboy! - 6 - [Screams.]
- Come back to us.
- Do you agree, yes or no? Hey! [Singing in Chinese.]
- Come back to us.
- That this is paradise.
- Hey, Mister! - 41.
[Gunshot.]
Children: 6 [Singing lullaby in German.]
- It ain't.
- Have it ready for you tomorrow.
- Hey, Mister! - No.
[Crow caws.]
Man: Will you accept [Bottles rattling.]
[Horse neighs.]
[Loud creaking.]
[Glass shattering.]
[Horse neighs.]
[Shattering continues.]
[Rattling stops.]
[Door unlocks, creaks.]
You want this to end? You want to be free of all this? We have a job for you.
What job? Come with us.
We'll tell you.
[Gunshot.]
[Breathes shakily.]
What job? We want you to kill someone.
Who? [Gasps lightly.]
A preacher.
[Rumbling, horse neighs.]
[Glass breaking.]
[Wind howling.]
[Thunder cracking.]
[Wind howling.]
["Drifting Home to You" plays on radio.]
Whoo! Hello, my lovelies.
Angel hands.
Huh.
How many did you need? Three, four? Mm.
One'll do.
Thanks, Cass.
[Groans.]
All right.
[Grunting.]
Oh, he was a nice bloke.
I got the dog.
You get the Beneath the silver moon To the aisle of golden dreams [Grunts.]
- When the moonlight turns - [Wolf howls.]
God, eh? Yep.
Coming to Texas? Sunday morning.
- I'll come drifting home to you - [Grunts.]
That'll be something, huh? Yep.
In my dream ship I'll come drifting home to you