Rake US (2013) s01e09 Episode Script

Come work at the firm.
I've seriously been thinking about it.
- Hello, Mr.
Deane.
- I'm Cindy Beck.
- Cindy? - Your new assistant.
You're such a mystery to me.
You're just this delicate, innocent creature.
Every other minute, I think that he's gonna find out everything about my past.
You cost us millions in billings.
What are you talking about? I just won your case, Bobby.
I'm thinking about running for D.
A.
This could be just the thing to get you re-energized.
Didn't I suggest you find a fresh start somewhere else? Somewhere with fewer temptations? My wife being one of them.
It was autoerotic asphyxiation.
Tell me, what did him in? We haven't heard a thing.
We have to have a conversation about A person of interest in the mayor's murder.
Is it weird I don't feel guilty about this? No, not at all.
I don't feel guilty either.
Then again, it's not my dead husband's desk.
Ohh.
Well, I don't think Marcus would care.
Why do you say that? Was he showing signs of depression? Not at all, no.
I'm late for my dinner.
No, is that does that Is that why they wouldn't release a cause of death? Was was this a suicide? No.
Well, you must have some idea.
I told you, I'm waiting for the coroner's report.
I know, but you're the one who found him, Gloria.
I mean, was it a stroke or a traumatic head injury? I'm trying to help you get a little closure on this.
It was two weeks ago, Keegan.
I was in shock.
Yeah, but he's a big guy.
It had to take a lot to bring him down.
He seemed like the type that worked out.
He was under a lot of stress.
Oh.
Makes him high risk for a massive coronary then.
I'm sure that's what it was.
Can we drop this now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, yes, of course.
I won't mention it again.
Br-r-r-r-r-r-r-r que es esto, que es esto, que es esto? What is this? Que es esto, que es esto? Que es esto? Hey, Debbie, I want you to put me down for 10 grand on a massive coronary.
No, Victor said I can't take any more bets from you, Kee.
Is that why you're not answering my calls? Hey, no pagas, no juegas.
Come on, Debbie, Victor does sports betting.
You and I have always had our own separate relationship.
This is an exotic wager.
I know, but putting - seems kind of dark.
- Really? You gave a woman from torrance action on how much her tumor would weigh.
Fine, ten-to-one on massive coronary.
You want to bet on the cockfight too? No.
I'm not a degenerate.
Just put me down on how the mayor died and keep the chickens out of it.
It doesn't hurt them.
Is that their happy noise? Yeah.
Que es esto? Que es esto? In a huge loss for the Los Angeles art community, Keith Phillips, the director of the L.
A.
Museum, plunged to his death onto a downtown street in what police are initially calling a suicide.
We represent the museum.
Keith was a real mensch.
Yeah, looks like a real hero.
Jumps into a park where kids play.
At least he waited till after bedtime.
That was six months ago, and the police don't think he jumped anymore.
They charged his wife, Holly, with murder.
You know who she is, right? She's the artist who uses blood as her medium.
You want me to defend a woman who paints in blood? - You've done worse.
- No, no, no.
This is why I left private practice.
You left because you were desperate, so show Ebell that you can make the firm money - as well as lose it.
- I won that case.
So win this one too.
We can't afford to lose any more clients right now.
She already fired one attorney and opening arguments start today.
Holly Phillips is here.
I thought they charged the wife, not the mother.
She is the wife.
Was she his beard? Keith Phillips wasn't gay.
Well, maybe you just think that because he had a beard.
Yeah, it's very hard to tell with arty types.
They're like Europeans that way.
A really hot friend of mine hooked up with him a couple of times, so This hot friend, how well do you know her? She was my roommate.
One bedroom or two? Loft.
Mrs.
Phillips, let me start by saying I am so sorry things didn't work out with your previous attorney.
He wanted me to take a plea deal when there was no proof I committed the crime - Yeah.
- So if you go down the same route, I will fire you too.
I'll try to avoid that, although the prosecution does have a lot of evidence to suggest you were a jealous wife afraid of losing her younger husband.
My husband and I were the same age.
Oh, boy.
Ha Uh I I'm sorry.
We all want to be younger.
I live in L.
A.
, you do too.
We need to have an honest relationship.
Don't pussyfoot around, Mr.
Deane.
It makes you seem weak.
I know I look a lot older than my husband, but we were both 52.
I just wasn't seduced by L.
A.
's superficial values, unlike you and my husband, who jumped off the deep end into them, literally.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, why are you bringing me into this? I live in Echo Park.
I apologize.
Look, I've been mourning for six months, and now I'm angry, because I've been accused of killing my husband when he killed himself.
This guy? He looks like the "after" photo from an anti-depressant pamphlet.
It's chemically induced.
Keith went to some secret, referral-only, anti-aging specialists, and they preserved his outsides but made his soul suicidal.
Well, that's going to be very hard to prove without a statement from a doctor or a toxicology report.
Unless you have Some of his blood lying around? From your art.
- Blood holds energy - Right.
And without its life force, it's useless to me.
And I don't want to plea insanity.
Keith jumped.
End of story.
Hey, hey, I'm trying to help you.
If you want to win, it's all about public perception.
You just gotta act sad, maybe cry a little bit, leave some flowers where Keith jumped, and don't wear anything blood-stained to court.
Well, I'm working on a new series of decapitated men.
Let's keep that from the jury.
Anything else? I know that my husband had other women, Mr.
Deane, but he loved me.
Ask anyone who knew us.
He talked about it all the time.
We'll see what we can do.
My assistant Cindy's gonna show you out.
I'll hey.
Your assistant, Cindy? When were you gonna tell me you replaced me with a woman you want to have sex with? Hey, that's not what happened.
Cindy is a temp, and quite possibly a lesbian.
You didn't even have the nerve to fire me.
- Unbelievable.
- You're not fired.
I'd quit if I wasn't an illegal alien.
What am I supposed to do, nanny? You still work for me.
You don't count.
Look, here, I can pay you.
I'll pay you a little bit of cash, and I got some car vouchers for you.
Take that for now, all right, until H.
R.
works out your immigration paperwork.
And I want a proper desk.
I'm not going back - to your apartment.
- Fine.
In the meantime, see if you can find out any information about this anti-aging doctor, all right? Bruce, what are you doing? I was just staying in shape while I waited.
I know how much you love the Capoeira.
It's less appealing now that we're broken up.
You know, I was hoping to talk to you about that.
Here, man, let me help.
- A it's fine.
- Okay, okay.
We've already talked, and frankly, Bruce, that juice you sent over, it made me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry.
I I just I'd never named a special blend after someone before.
I mean, yeah, there was "Obama-rama," but You should leave.
Oh, here, you dropped this.
Look, I talked to my therapist, and we both agreed that you're scared that I'm not ready to commit I don't want you to commit! I know how terrifying intimacy can be, especially after your ex-husband abandoned you, but I want you to know, I would never do that, okay? Kee didn't abandon me.
I kicked him out.
Look, it's okay if you need to test me.
I'm willing to prove to you that I am not going anywhere by not going anywhere.
I can sleep here, I can wake up here, i can stay here as long as it takes.
Hey, got any aggression you want to work out? Sure, just meet me at my place.
That way, you can make those nasty growling noises without Finn ever having to hear anything.
Not that kind of aggression.
I mean the kind that you wanted to use to get rid of Bruce.
He's on my lawn doing his Brazilian fight dancing and it's starting to creep me out.
Hey, I told you he was creepy.
You were right.
Oh! Hear that? You're on speaker, say it again.
Kee, are you gonna help me or should I call the police? Hey, hey, Bruce isn't doing anything threatening to you, is he? Not unless you count my rebirth experience.
What? - Nothing.
- I'll talk to him, okay? In the meantime, just find something else for him to obsess about.
- Like what? - Rescue dogs.
Keith Phillips had everything to live for, except for a jealous wife who knew he was in love with another woman.
He told them all he loved them.
The State will present witnesses who saw her fight with her husband before he plunged to his death, witnesses who saw Keith covered with bruises and tales of her domestic violence.
They were from the hormone injections and my blood draws.
And a witness who saw Holly threaten her husband With a gun.
You don't mention this to me? Are you out of your mind? It was a joke.
Have you seen my work? I have a macabre sense of humor.
Yeah, I got a great sense of humor, Holly, and I'm not laughing.
Listen, you're gonna need to find this anti-aging doctor.
Well, I'll look through Keith's things again.
I don't know why the case is still circumstantial.
Some circumstances are worse than others, Holly, guns for example.
Keegan Deane, would you come down to the station with us, please? Why would I do that? Bernie Michaels wants to talk to you.
Oh, does he want to kiss my ass? Hold on for a second, Holly.
What, did he send you over here on some trumped-up harassment charge? I went by his house at a very reasonable hour, rang the doorbell.
All very friendly, guys.
He named you as a person of interest - in the mayor's death.
- Okay, nice try.
He doesn't even work at the force anymore, so unless you got a warrant Anybody got a warrant here? How you doin', by the way? My only interest in his death is as celebrant after the fact.
- Sorry about that.
- Everything okay? Yeah, the mayor's dead.
I'm great.
Murderer! Murderer! Keegan! What? Now, just hold on! Did you kill the mayor? Mr.
Deane, did you kill the mayor? You've got to be joking.
How do you respond to word from the L.
A.
P.
D.
that you're the lead suspect in his murder? I deny it! I deny it! That's the work of one rogue ex-cop who's out to get me.
That's it.
Off my property! Do you also deny that you despised Mayor Barzmann? Hey, I despise a lot of people, many of them still alive.
That is my trash, sir! Excuse me.
Hey! Come here, come here.
Okay, hey, hey, hey! That's my trash! Is that what you did to the mayor? Keegan Deane, newly named - as the lead suspect - Mom, no! In the murder of beloved Los Angeles mayor No, mom, I'm not firing Kee.
Because he didn't kill the mayor.
Zoe said Uncle Kee's a murderer.
If he is, can he come to my class for career day instead of you? He's not a murderer, and no, I have my presentation all planned, dude.
Why are you not dressed? Go.
Zoe! That was the policeman's union, threatening to pull my endorsement if I don't publicly disavow Kee.
- I hope you said no.
- Of course.
Told them I'd think about it.
What? No one's going to elect a D.
A.
who's friends with a murderer.
They will when Fairfax Freddy Barnes is the only other guy running.
You know, the ballot's not closed yet.
Other candidates can still declare.
Zoe said Uncle Kee could come to kill us too.
I told you, your Uncle Kee didn't kill anyone.
He hasn't even been accused, which your mom, the attorney, knows means the police have no evidence.
If you're not dressed in two minutes, I'm gonna come pick your outfit Out of your sister's closet.
Zoe! Maybe you ask Kee not to come over, and maybe you should steer clear of the law firm, just until this whole thing blows over.
What are you saying? Honey, you know Kee didn't do this.
No, I know, but he does make bad decisions.
Not to murder Marcus.
I don't - Say it, Scarlet.
- I already told you, I don't think Kee murdered Marcus.
Not think, know.
I know that Kee wouldn't murder anyone On purpose.
- When he's sober.
- Are you ser - This is I have to - You know what, this is gonna be a conversation.
Councilman Hawkins.
I do know him.
- Hello, Robert.
- Well, that depends on how you define friendship.
No, I haven't given any more thought to firing Keegan Deane.
Now, seen here in our exclusive footage - Hey, this is fantastic.
- What? No, it's better than fanta It is phenomenal.
Get outta here! That's awful.
Oh, no, the mayor's being murdered is tragic, I agree, but what is phenomenal is Keegan Deane finally being exposed for what he is, a sociopath.
Really? Yeah, do you have any idea what that guy's gotten away with? You know, he beat up a lawyer in the elevator of one California for no reason at all.
I'm sure that if he did that, he had a reason.
Baby, you don't know him like I do.
The guy's a psychopath.
You just said that he was a sociopath, so which one is it Psychopath or sociopath? They're not the same.
I'm not actually qualified to speak to the exact nature of his pathology.
What I do know is that every word that comes out of his mouth is a self-serving lie.
Lying doesn't make someone a bad person, David.
Or mean that Kee killed anyone.
When did you start calling him "Kee"? What? I thought you only met him through your cousin who molested you? Yeah, I did, but he was there for Angus when everybody else abandoned him.
Keegan played backgammon with him every day while we waited for the liver transplant.
Really? They play for money? 'Cause had to be something in it for him.
No one can hide their true nature.
Doesn't everybody deserve the benefit of the doubt? No.
Baby, I love how compassionate you are, but people like Keegan Deane aren't redeemable.
Well, I disagree.
Hey.
It's our first fight.
It's a good thing.
Is that my paper? You know, it's a good thing I'm a man of my word and was here to protect you, now that your ex-husband is on the loose.
Sorry, did Kee show up last night? You didn't hurt him, did you? No, I didn't get the chance.
I'm assuming he's hiding from the police.
For killing the mayor.
What? I mean, they haven't formally charged him, but jury's in.
Well, actually, Bruce, the jury doesn't come in unless there's a trial, which there won't be, because Kee did not do this.
I saw violence in his eyes when he tried to grab the shovel from me.
Clearly not enough, because you're still here.
I would risk bodily harm to earn your trust.
Let's hope it comes to that.
Soon.
And Kee didn't do it! Mr.
Deane.
So glad you changed your mind and decided to come in.
You realize you no longer work here, Bernie, right? Well, my name isn't on the door, but it doesn't mean I'm not in charge.
I'm gonna say, "well played.
" You win.
Congratulations.
You know I didn't kill mayor Barzmann.
Would you please call off the dogs? Where were you March 20th between 2:00 A.
M.
and 5:00 A.
M.
? I don't know, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say bed.
Can anyone corroborate that? They can't.
So you have no alibi.
I'm not gonna ruin the reputation of some young lady for your amusement, Bernie.
Now, tell me what the hell it's gonna take to get the press off my ass.
Yeah, those reporters are annoying, aren't they? They were up mine for months after you stirred up that false confession scandal, so get used to them, and don't make any travel plans.
Only place I'm going is your house to get it appraised for my very lucrative harassment suit.
Your wife can stay and help me redecorate.
Freak.
Hello? Hey, Gloria.
Thought you should know, Bernie Michaels and his detective friend are asking about my alibi the night Marcus died.
You didn't tell him we were together, did you? No.
I consider myself a gentleman.
But if you'd tell Bernie I didn't kill your husband, I'd appreciate it.
I'll take care of it right away.
- Thanks.
- Hey! Murderer! Oh! Candy bar? This isn't an insult, it's a gift! You just made my day! Son of a Mr.
Deane.
Kee, I have your messages.
Great, great.
What's going on over here? It's an office pool.
Oh, for me! I'm sorry, I tried to get them to stop.
No, no, it's fine, put me down for 1,000, no arrest.
There's a $20 limit.
Then put me down for 20, 50 times.
Did you put in your 20 in? I don't gamble.
It's not gambling if you can't lose.
Mr.
Deane, I was coming to see you.
Holly.
Good to see you.
I just want to say, the accusations against me are completely false.
I understand, seeing as I'm in the same situation.
No, you're not.
I mean, it's just a little different, because I haven't been charged with a crime, and you have, which is why I'm able to represent you.
I'm not firing you.
Even though you did look guilty and unrepentant on the news last night.
You could have called to tell me that.
Well, I thought that I'd bring you a brighter tie for court tomorrow.
Our talk the other day made me realize that appearances do matter, so I thought I'd try and follow your suggestions.
Thank you very much, Holly.
Not necessary, though, because I'm innocent.
Ugh! That was the teachers union threatening to pull their endorsement too.
You can't give in.
It would crush Kee if you come out against him.
So what do you want me to do? Get up and make a speech that my friend Keegan Deane, notorious womanizer, gambler, debtor, and cocaine abuser is an innocent man? You don't have to publicly support him.
Just don't publicly denounce him.
Who's publicly denouncing who? Hey.
Hmm? What'd I miss? I have to get this.
It's not ringing.
Well, I it will be.
She's just worried about losing her endorsements.
Just lost my endorsement.
That'll make her happy.
Then I completely support her.
I'm putting her campaign poster on my window! I got your back on this, Kee.
Oh.
How the hell did this happen? I don't know.
Bernie Michaels.
Might have overstepped, said a few things.
Maybe urinated on his lawn.
I didn't think he was gonna be this sensitive.
Can't you go apologize? This press is bad.
My mother and Ebell are so far up my ass about it, I can taste 'em.
Any more descriptive detail than that? No, I want it to end.
It will end.
I talked to Gloria.
Marcus's wife, Gloria? Yeah, she's my al alibi.
You were with Gloria when Marcus died? Yeah.
You're having an affair with the mayor's wife? No, no.
"An affair" sounds like an emotional co-mingling.
How the hell could you not tell me you were banging the mayor's wife before you came to work at my firm? That's the kind of thing you share with a friend whose business it could ruin.
What is wrong with you? Holly Phillips has no problem with this at all.
You wanted me to handle this case, it's handled.
- Make it go away.
- Fine.
You know, none of this would've happened if that son of a bitch hadn't of died.
Mr.
Deane, someone named Leanne is on the phone for you.
She said she was your assistant, but I told her I was your assistant.
She's in the phone.
You're on the flesh.
She's a phone assistant, you're a fle You're my in-the-flesh assistant.
See? Okay, well, she's on the phone now.
Something funny? I have an Internet alert, so every time your name gets mentioned, it sends me the article.
Oh.
Which of my amusing anecdotes are they quoting this time? Actually, it's acclaimed L.
A.
Attorney Clay Randolph who's quoted.
"Mr.
Deane not only assaulted me, "he manipulated his way into my home and threatened my wife's virtue.
" His wife's virtue.
This from a guy who tried to rape a prostitute.
A woman named Jessica said you had sex with her in your race car bed and never called.
Jessica? Wait, wait, no, no, no.
That wasn't my bed, that was Max's.
Ben's son, Max? You had sex in your best friend's child's bed? I don't think I'd cast stones here, Leanne, after what you did in my bed with Roy, a married man with a pregnant wife.
You swore you'd never mention that again.
That was a mistake, and I'd like to forget about it.
Mm.
Unless he calls and asks about me, and then you should tell me.
Well, not after you invited me down here to listen to this pinging and pretend you don't know me in this ridiculous hat.
This hat has nothing to do with you.
The anti-aging doctor suggests it to protect delicate skin against the California sun.
Keith Phillips's anti-aging doctor? Did you find him? And I'll give you all of his information as soon as I get a proper office.
Murderer! Hey! Listen, that's illegal, to ride on the sidewalk! You're the criminal, pal! He's the criminal.
Would you please turn that thing off, Leanne? All right? I need some information here.
Murderer! Whoa, hey! You probably didn't even like Barzmann.
Just because he's dead doesn't make him a saint, lady.
You understand that? There's a whole process at the Vatican for that.
He doesn't qualify.
Help! Police! Probably better if I go see the doctor myself.
Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Dr.
Kelly.
Of course.
The earlier you start anti-aging the better.
The goal is to catch hormonal systems before they're out of balance.
Ah, I'm not here as a patient.
Although, how would I know if my hormonal system was out of balance? Well, it starts with subtle changes in hair and skin.
There's also an increase in sensitivity.
Sensitivity in my skin? Like wanting someone to touch it all the time? Well, testosterone surges can cause an increase in sexual desire.
Do you have a cure for that? Not for desire in general, but desire for someone undesirable.
Well, my body-in-balance program could even out that sex drive.
It could also stop the sagging around your eyes.
Any chance of some free samples? I don't give it away.
Are you implying that I do? Because I don't usually.
And I don't have sagging around my eyes.
I look like a normal, attractive woman in my early 30s.
Maybe in England.
Is this what you did to Keith Phillips? Made him feel insecure so he'd sign up for your body-in-balance program, even with the crazy side effects? If this is why you came in, I'm not willing to discuss it.
The doctor/patient privilege doesn't apply once the patient's passed away.
Or we could just subpoena Keith's records.
Mr.
Phillips was not my patient.
Did you treat someone else in the Phillips family? So what, we're back to the scene of the crime? You're the one who was seeing Dr.
Kelly.
It was you.
What I don't get is why you killed your husband instead of the quack who took all your money and left you looking like an old lady.
Because he wasn't the one who made me feel insane.
You sure about that? Jacked you up with all those hormone treatments.
It's hard enough to live in L.
A.
And age gracefully.
Try waking up next to Dorian Grey every day.
I mean, he didn't even want me to dye my hair or get a facial.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I wanted us to be a couple again.
He was furious that I was seeing Dr.
Kelly.
Not a very sympathetic motivation for murder.
It was a lie, Mr.
Deane.
He wanted me to look old so that he could look like a Saint.
He would take me to parties so everyone could admire him as "that hot young guy who stayed with the old lady because he loves her as an artist.
" So he used you like a puppy in order to get other women? Well, I don't like puppies.
But yes.
Took me a long time to figure out why he would always be so loving to me in public but never look at me when we were alone.
I thought I was losing my mind.
That's when I pulled the gun.
I wanted him to tell me the truth.
Why didn't you just divorce him? Humiliating as it was, I still loved him.
When he stopped the payments to Dr.
Kelly, I came up here because I was the one who was going to jump.
Keith tried to stop me, that's what we were fighting about.
I wanted him to admit that he didn't love me, that he only stayed with me because it made him look like a good guy, but he wouldn't.
I understand, but these anti-aging treatments, you have a real insanity defense here.
I can help you.
Let me enter a plea.
Crazy is good for art, Mr.
Deane, insanity isn't.
I I don't want to go to a mental institution.
That's why I came to you.
You get guilty people off.
Uh, no, no, no, changed my mind.
Keep driving.
Do you want some food? Come into my cafe.
If not, go.
Damn it.
One more step, I'm calling the police.
Great, they can arrest you for stalking my wife.
Ex-wife, okay? Ex-wife.
Although the psychological pain you've inflicted continues to wreak havoc on her healthy relationships.
Do you call camping out on her front lawn a healthy relationship? I'm showing her that I'm a man of my word, unlike some other men that she knows.
Bruce, you get punched in the face a lot? Is that a challenge? Dude, if that's a challenge, it is on, right now at my dojo.
Maddy can come watch if she wants.
No, no, no.
Maddy! No, she's not going to your dojo, Bruce.
Nobody's going to your dojo.
I'm not, nobody is.
All right? You're gonna get the hell outta here Come on! What are you doing? And you're gonna get your juice buckets, and you're gonna get the hell off this lawn, otherwise, all the people who think I killed the mayor are gonna think I killed you too! I'm not going 'cause I'm scared.
I'm going 'cause I have enough respect for Maddy not to cause a big scene in her yard.
All right.
That was not cool, with the chair! Thank you.
I should probably stay around for a few days in case he tries to come back.
Let me guess there are reporters at your place.
And I'm concerned for your safety.
Just a couple of days.
I didn't like your chances at the dojo.
The dojo! I could've taken him.
I agree with the prosecution.
My client looks guilty.
But that's not enough to convict somebody of murder.
Lot of you have kids.
What do you teach your kids? Don't judge a book by its cover, it's wrong.
We do it anyway.
Look around this room.
How about this guy? Look at the snazzy prosecutor over here in the little bowtie.
Makes him look smart.
What you don't know is that his wife buys him those bowties because deep down, she's worried that he's not smart enough.
This guy over here, this bailiff.
I've seen you eyeballing him.
Lazy civil servant.
What you don't know is, his name is Todd, and he's exhausted from working three jobs to put his twin daughters through medical school.
And how 'bout me? People all over the Internet saying I don't pay my debts, that I act irresponsibly around children.
They're trying to make me out to be the guy who murdered the mayor, which I didn't.
Seriously.
The point is, looks can be deceiving.
That is why you need proof to convict somebody of a crime.
Now, I understand Holly Phillips paints in blood, I understand it's odd, and she looks considerably older than her husband, and she looks a little angry.
It doesn't matter.
The only thing that matters is you have no proof That she murdered her husband.
Come on, let's put it to a vote.
Come on, people.
Only five for guilty? You heard the witnesses.
They didn't see a murder.
I'm sorry, I thought you'd reached a decision.
We have.
We were talking about whether Keegan Deane killed the mayor.
But we found her not guilty.
Should we make a statement about how happy we are - with the verdict? - No, no.
That's the last thing we're going to do, and they're not here for you anyway.
Well, I'm definitely gonna send you one of my new paintings to say thank you.
Or you could just move to the midwest or one of the portlands.
_ One of the places they don't believe in Botox.
You're funny.
But I've been seeing someone who lives in Santa Monica.
Hi, George.
No, no, no, are you out of your mind? After everything that happened with Keith? Well, I got used to a certain aesthetic, and unlike my former husband, George is into cougars.
Holly, any harm comes to that young man, I'm coming after you.
Justice system wasn't built for that! It's built to protect the innocent.
God! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Keegan Deane, you're under arrest for the murder of mayor Marcus Barzmann.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be Gloria, it's Keegan Deane.
I want to talk to you.
Better yet, I want you to talk to Bernie Michaels.
We're down here at the Please call me soon.
Book him.
You shouldn't take orders from this guy.
He lost his job for forging confessions.
Yeah, feel free to beat one out of him.
Is that a threat? 'Cause I'm recording all this right up here, Bernie, all in the noggin.
- What, this? - Yeah, against the wall.
Mrs.
Barzmann.
Yeah, I'm down here with Keegan Deane.
Yeah, he said that you know where he was at the time of Marcus's murder.
No? Really? You have no idea what he's talking about? Give me that thing.
Gloria, it's Kee.
I'm sorry.
I can't help you with this.
Please don't call me again.
You're not gonna get away with this, Bernie.
You need evidence to convict somebody of a crime.
My officers should have no problem finding the belt that Marcus was strangled with in your apartment.
I have the right to an attorney, other than myself.
I want to talk to Ben Leon.
Hey, what goes around comes around, ass wipe.
Nice to see you in your element, Deane, suits you.
Sanders.
Hey! I said I wanted to see my attorney.
This jackass does not represent me.
Why Mikhaela thinks you deserve compassion is beyond me.
Oh, is that why you're here, Harry? Did your girlfriend send you over here on a little mission? Mikhaela has nothing to do with this.
Look, I believe that you belong behind bars, I just didn't feel right knowing it was for a crime that you didn't commit.
So you know I didn't do it? How can you be so sure, Harry? Unless you know who did.
No, I just Have some pertinent information.
If I tell you this, you have to agree that you never heard it from me.
If you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, I will deny it on the lives of all my family members, including pets.
I'm dying here.
Can you just spit it out? Mayor Barzmann Had a hobby That involved cutting off his airways while he induced sexual excitement.
Autoerotic asphyxiation? Yeah.
Of course you'd know the technical term for it.
It's right on the tip of your tongue there, wasn't it? He's a gasper, huh? What, did you two hang out in online chat rooms together? - How do you know this? - No, no.
Look Okay, you know what? I know, I know, you think working for the I.
R.
S.
Is just a bunch of boring number crunching, but I gotta tell you something, pal.
We're in deeper than the N.
S.
A.
, okay? Our investigations are very thorough.
So what did he spend it on? Was it ropes? Belts? That's it, huh? Right, the belt Bernie planted in my apartment.
There may have been an audit on a custom leather worker in the valley who specializes in making 72-inch belts for men with 38-inch waists.
You did not hear that from me.
So good luck, I guess.
David.
Thank you.
Don't get Mikhaela mixed up in any of your perversions, you freak.
I hope you rot in here.
I like this kinky side of you, Potter.
Whoo! Hey.
Hey.
I finally threatened the L.
A.
P.
D.
With a wrongful imprisonment suit and got Kee out.
- You're Kee's attorney? - Yup.
That's now a matter of public record.
Yup.
Ben, how did you not think you should discuss this with me first? There's nothing to discuss.
I did what's right.
You're just too wrapped up in your campaign to see it.
That is because being D.
A.
is important to me.
Kee getting beaten up in jail isn't in the way of that.
Oh, my God, I cannot believe this.
Fairfax Freddy's been campaigning on the same street corner the last ten elections.
Oh, please, yes, that's right, and voters can still vote for him if the other candidate is friends with the guy that murdered the mayor, Ben.
Stop.
Kee didn't do it.
You need to stop acting like a selfish brat and be there for him.
I'm selfish? Why? Because I don't want the next 20 years to feel like the last What's wrong with the last 20 years? We got married and had our kids.
Being D.
A.
is It feels like that thing that we were talking about.
The thing that I've been looking for.
I want it, and if you don't want it, that is a problem.
So this is about us now? Did you just hear anything I just said? This is about Having something that makes me happy.
- I want that too.
- Good.
I just don't want you to sell Kee out to get it.
You know that I would help him if I could.
You can.
- Earl grey okay? - Sure.
I only have a few minutes before the city council meeting, but you sounded so upset.
You and Ben okay? Actually, it wasn't me who needed to talk.
Nice to see you again, Gloria.
You called me here to talk to him? I'm sorry that I couldn't be more forthcoming, but Kee said you knew he was innocent.
Yeah, where do you come out on that, Scarlet? I'm gonna leave you two alone.
I can't be here.
Hey, hey, listen, when you found Marcus, I just want to know, did he have, like, on a wig and some ladies frilly lingerie, or did he go old school, with the pants down around the ankles and a belt strapped around his neck, with rigor mortis setting in? I have a 72-inch belt that's got stories to tell, Gloria.
How did you find out? What does it possibly matter how I found out, now that I know it's the truth? I didn't want Marcus to be remembered like that, and Bernie was supposed to make sure nobody found out.
By charging me with murder? No, he had someone at the coroner's office who was going to take care of it until you showed up to his house to antagonize him.
That's when he decided to make you a murder suspect.
You brought this on yourself.
No, no, no, I didn't bring anything on myself, Gloria, because you're my alibi, you understand? Bernie already knew about us.
When I went to ask him to drop the investigation, he said he was following me for Marcus.
He said that if I didn't cooperate, that he would name me as a co-conspirator, and I deserved it for sleeping with you.
Now, what was I supposed to do, Keegan? Why didn't you just tell him the truth? And go to prison for the rest of my life? Or be known as the wife of the mayor who died doing that to himself? Those are two very distinct possibilities if I go to trial.
You need to call Bernie off before that happens.
How? I have an idea.
After weeks of speculation I hope you'll use this as a learning experience.
If you mean stay away from autoerotic asphyxiation, - lesson learned.
- And don't piss off ex-police chiefs or have sex with married women.
I can't hear.
I'd like to thank the city council for asking me to take my husband's seat until his term ends next year.
I can't think of a better way to honor Marcus's memory than to continue his mission as mayor of Los Angeles.
I'd also like to officially apologize to Keegan Deane.
His arrest was driven by one former officer of the L.
A.
P.
D.
Who was already under investigation.
Bernie Michaels lost his fragile grip on reality and used his position to spread lies and persecution.
For everyone's safety, we have placed him on a 72-hour psychological hold, and we hope that he gets the help that he needs.
Nice touch with the mental hospital.
Yeah, it just felt right.
The coroner's report determined there was no foul play involved in my husband's death.
- Unless you count self-play.
- Shh, shh.
He died of Here it is.
A massive coronary.
Boom! Goes the dynamite! You bet on how he died.
That's ten-to-one.
I deducted what you owe me plus interest, rent, and the cost of new trash cans with padlocks for my aunt's place.
Want to stay and watch the next cockfight? You can sit with me in the V.
I.
P.
section.
I told you, cocks aren't my thing.
You sure? I have an inside tip Mother Mercy's gonna peck the crap out of the Sky is falling.
"The Sky is Falling.
" That's chicken little, right? Yeah, I like that story.
That's Mother Mercy? He he doesn't have a chance.
You want to bet? All right, I'll support the little guy.
Here you go.
Take that is it even money? - Yup.
- Take this too.
Great.
Come on.
Come on, Sky.
Come on, Sky.
Hey.
Mother Mercy, my ass.
What's he doing with his claw? Come on, come on, come on.
Peck him back! Come on, baby! Come on! Do it!