Royalties (2020) s01e09 Episode Script
I Hate That I Need You
1
Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
Do-do-do-do-do ♪
Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
Da-do-ba-doobie-do ♪
This is the theme song ♪
This is the theme song, yeah. ♪
[PLAYING MELODY ON PIANO]
Ooh. That's different enough, right?
[SIGHS] Sara, you can't
just change "Perfect Song"
a little and pass it off
as something new.
Theo, I have been banging my
head against a wall for weeks,
trying to write alone.
"Perfect Song" is half mine.
Why can't I just take it?
Because that'd be stealing from Pierce.
So? You think I wouldn't
steal for my career?
You think I wouldn't lie?
I would do anything.
[SIGHS]
[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS]
MIRIAM: Kendra,
I need a new single for my album.
Where the hell is it?
I understand your frustration,
but, um, I think you have to remember
Sara is remarkably talented.
So let's just give her a little
bit more time, shall we?
Well, what about the "Perfect
Song" song? I love that.
That song is unfortunately
off the table.
Sara wanted you to have
it, but Pierce, um, did not.
And their deal says,
if they can't agree,
then the song can't go anywhere.
Kendra, you're wasting my time.
[GASPS] That's actually a big deal.
She doesn't have much time left.
That was shitty.
To think that I bribed your way
into Harvard for this.
[WHISPERING] Jesus Christ.
She's just jealous 'cause I have
20 million Instagram followers
that do whatever I say.
- 20 million?
- [CASH REGISTER BELL DINGS]
Hello, hello.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- ELIA: Well, well, well.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Welcome to my home studio,
the throne of my empire,
the Hall of the Mountain King.
Wow. This is all yours? It's amazing.
Huh. You even got your own Theo.
Well, I call my Theo "Neal".
Turn around, Neal.
- Hello. I'm Neal.
- Oh.
Can I get you a sparkling
water, a hot tea,
gluten-free prayer candle?
- Guy's name is Neal, too?
- They're all Neals to me.
I can't bother remembering names.
These Neals are the
lifeblood of our industry.
Unpaid interns. They work for favors,
for college credits. They'll
do anything you ask.
Go ahead, ask him.
Ask him to eat a spider
right in front of you.
He'll do it.
Oh? Oh, you don't have to do anything.
Have I offended you in some way?
Out.
Every songwriter needs a sounding board.
Your faux pas was mistaking your
sounding board for your partner.
Pierce was just a Neal
that you grew fond of.
- Hmm.
- My Neals know their place.
They they're a conduit
to my brilliance.
Watch this.
Neals, give us a little beat.
- [BAND PLAYING SLOW, FUNKY BEAT]
- Uh-huh.
Right. Sexy, huh?
Yeah.
Could it be sexier?
- Sure, I guess.
- Sexier, Neals!
[BAND PLAYING FASTER, JAZZIER MUSIC]
What do you want the song to say?
- Uh I don't know.
- Neal, lyrics!
I hate that I need you ♪
I dream about getting away. ♪
Ooh, yes! Yes! Neal, that's
exactly how I've been feeling.
Yes, because this is your vision.
I've been eating too
many spiders for you ♪
They tickle on the way down ♪
- I don't quite relate to that part.
- Shit. It's shit.
- But
- You out, you in.
- Ooh.
- I've been waiting ♪
Patiently in the wings ♪
For the chance to
go out on my own ♪
Ooh, yes, yes! Keep going! Keep going!
Ooh, this is fun. We're writing a song.
- Yes. You and me are writing a song.
- [GIGGLES]
- Good Neals.
- Oh ♪
[KNOCKING]
PIERCE: Yo!
Theo, welcome.
- Um
- Come on in.
Pierce, what the hell is going on?
This is my life now, man.
Picked up right where
I left off. Literally.
Not a note has been
written for this album
since I left the band eight years ago.
Well, don't rush it.
You know, it's, it's got to
come from a place of truth.
All right, man. You got to
come back. Sara needs you.
Tell her tough beans, man.
She started this when she
promised my song to Miriam Hale.
Miriam Hale sucks.
No good music's been
made since the '70s, man.
No good movies since the '80s.
- That's just not true. Pierce
- Name one.
- The Matrix.
- Name two!
You made a rookie friend
zone mistake, okay?
You freaked out at Sara
and started a fight
about something you're
not really upset about.
And now you're still not dating her
and you're no longer even friends.
Without her, you've returned
to a band that will never
finish their album, and to a girl
who will never commit to any of you.
She's committed to all of us.
- I am. Love you guys.
- GROUP: Love you!
She's a hot, artsy girl.
She's gonna meet a 47-year-old doctor,
marry him and move to London.
- That's ridiculous.
- Do you know any?
Look, bud, we were in the middle
of a really, really
productive writer session,
and-and you've totally
thrown off our vibe!
All right, fine.
I'd tell you to go to hell, Pierce,
but you're already there.
[DOOR CLOSES]
I've been eating too
many spiders for you ♪
They tickle on the way down. ♪
Oh. She's not very good, is she?
Relax. You're in the Hall
of the Mountain King.
Great stuff, babe.
It sounds fantastic.
Listen, we're gonna
stack it, compress it,
tune the vocals in Sweden,
make the track slap in Korea.
We are gonna have the biggest
K-pop collab of the century.
It's a fuckin' smash.
[SINGING IN KOREAN TO "IN THE
HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"]
♪
- Hmm, I don't see it.
- Sara,
this is a big victory for you.
Bask in it a little bit.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah. Should bask a little bit.
Hey, Neal?
I'll take that sparkling water.
[WHISTLING "IN THE HALL
OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"]
Sparkling water, yeah! ♪
Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
Do-do-do-do-do ♪
Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
Da-do-ba-doobie-do ♪
This is the theme song ♪
This is the theme song, yeah. ♪
[PLAYING MELODY ON PIANO]
Ooh. That's different enough, right?
[SIGHS] Sara, you can't
just change "Perfect Song"
a little and pass it off
as something new.
Theo, I have been banging my
head against a wall for weeks,
trying to write alone.
"Perfect Song" is half mine.
Why can't I just take it?
Because that'd be stealing from Pierce.
So? You think I wouldn't
steal for my career?
You think I wouldn't lie?
I would do anything.
[SIGHS]
[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS]
MIRIAM: Kendra,
I need a new single for my album.
Where the hell is it?
I understand your frustration,
but, um, I think you have to remember
Sara is remarkably talented.
So let's just give her a little
bit more time, shall we?
Well, what about the "Perfect
Song" song? I love that.
That song is unfortunately
off the table.
Sara wanted you to have
it, but Pierce, um, did not.
And their deal says,
if they can't agree,
then the song can't go anywhere.
Kendra, you're wasting my time.
[GASPS] That's actually a big deal.
She doesn't have much time left.
That was shitty.
To think that I bribed your way
into Harvard for this.
[WHISPERING] Jesus Christ.
She's just jealous 'cause I have
20 million Instagram followers
that do whatever I say.
- 20 million?
- [CASH REGISTER BELL DINGS]
Hello, hello.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- ELIA: Well, well, well.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Welcome to my home studio,
the throne of my empire,
the Hall of the Mountain King.
Wow. This is all yours? It's amazing.
Huh. You even got your own Theo.
Well, I call my Theo "Neal".
Turn around, Neal.
- Hello. I'm Neal.
- Oh.
Can I get you a sparkling
water, a hot tea,
gluten-free prayer candle?
- Guy's name is Neal, too?
- They're all Neals to me.
I can't bother remembering names.
These Neals are the
lifeblood of our industry.
Unpaid interns. They work for favors,
for college credits. They'll
do anything you ask.
Go ahead, ask him.
Ask him to eat a spider
right in front of you.
He'll do it.
Oh? Oh, you don't have to do anything.
Have I offended you in some way?
Out.
Every songwriter needs a sounding board.
Your faux pas was mistaking your
sounding board for your partner.
Pierce was just a Neal
that you grew fond of.
- Hmm.
- My Neals know their place.
They they're a conduit
to my brilliance.
Watch this.
Neals, give us a little beat.
- [BAND PLAYING SLOW, FUNKY BEAT]
- Uh-huh.
Right. Sexy, huh?
Yeah.
Could it be sexier?
- Sure, I guess.
- Sexier, Neals!
[BAND PLAYING FASTER, JAZZIER MUSIC]
What do you want the song to say?
- Uh I don't know.
- Neal, lyrics!
I hate that I need you ♪
I dream about getting away. ♪
Ooh, yes! Yes! Neal, that's
exactly how I've been feeling.
Yes, because this is your vision.
I've been eating too
many spiders for you ♪
They tickle on the way down ♪
- I don't quite relate to that part.
- Shit. It's shit.
- But
- You out, you in.
- Ooh.
- I've been waiting ♪
Patiently in the wings ♪
For the chance to
go out on my own ♪
Ooh, yes, yes! Keep going! Keep going!
Ooh, this is fun. We're writing a song.
- Yes. You and me are writing a song.
- [GIGGLES]
- Good Neals.
- Oh ♪
[KNOCKING]
PIERCE: Yo!
Theo, welcome.
- Um
- Come on in.
Pierce, what the hell is going on?
This is my life now, man.
Picked up right where
I left off. Literally.
Not a note has been
written for this album
since I left the band eight years ago.
Well, don't rush it.
You know, it's, it's got to
come from a place of truth.
All right, man. You got to
come back. Sara needs you.
Tell her tough beans, man.
She started this when she
promised my song to Miriam Hale.
Miriam Hale sucks.
No good music's been
made since the '70s, man.
No good movies since the '80s.
- That's just not true. Pierce
- Name one.
- The Matrix.
- Name two!
You made a rookie friend
zone mistake, okay?
You freaked out at Sara
and started a fight
about something you're
not really upset about.
And now you're still not dating her
and you're no longer even friends.
Without her, you've returned
to a band that will never
finish their album, and to a girl
who will never commit to any of you.
She's committed to all of us.
- I am. Love you guys.
- GROUP: Love you!
She's a hot, artsy girl.
She's gonna meet a 47-year-old doctor,
marry him and move to London.
- That's ridiculous.
- Do you know any?
Look, bud, we were in the middle
of a really, really
productive writer session,
and-and you've totally
thrown off our vibe!
All right, fine.
I'd tell you to go to hell, Pierce,
but you're already there.
[DOOR CLOSES]
I've been eating too
many spiders for you ♪
They tickle on the way down. ♪
Oh. She's not very good, is she?
Relax. You're in the Hall
of the Mountain King.
Great stuff, babe.
It sounds fantastic.
Listen, we're gonna
stack it, compress it,
tune the vocals in Sweden,
make the track slap in Korea.
We are gonna have the biggest
K-pop collab of the century.
It's a fuckin' smash.
[SINGING IN KOREAN TO "IN THE
HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"]
♪
- Hmm, I don't see it.
- Sara,
this is a big victory for you.
Bask in it a little bit.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah. Should bask a little bit.
Hey, Neal?
I'll take that sparkling water.
[WHISTLING "IN THE HALL
OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"]
Sparkling water, yeah! ♪