The Bionic Woman (1976) s01e09 Episode Script
Winning Is Everything
RACE ANNOUNCER:
We are flying over
the desert racing area
outside the capital city
of Aku,
here in the newly
liberated country
of Taftan.
And top race drivers
from all over the world
are here preparing
for the Dasht-I-Ravar
500-mile race
to be held
here in Taftan
day after tomorrow.
(SlRENS WAlLlNG)
OSCAR: Yes, Mr. Secretary,
he barely got away
after he dropped
the cassette
at the bar.
That's right.
And that's why
I've sent for
our bionic woman,
Jaime Sommers.
Sent for?
Kidnapped is
more like it.
Here she is.
She just walked
in the door.
Yes, Mr. Secretary.
I'll keep you informed.
Right you are.
Thank you.
Oscar, what is
so important
that one of your men
has to call me out
of my classroom
in the middle of
an algebra lesson,
throw me on a plane,
take me clear across
the country without
one word of explanation?
Was that the
Secretary of State?
Yes, it was.
And do you have
your passport?
Where are we going?
Southwest Asia. Taftan.
Oh.
Taftan. I read about
that yesterday in
the newspaper
that a military junta
took over the country, huh?
They've virtually
sealed off the
borders,
broke off all
diplomatic relations,
and, yesterday afternoon,
invaded the
American embassy.
One of our diplomats there
is actually an OSl agent.
He had on him a tape
that was full of six months
of top-secret information.
Luckily, he dodged
the military police
Iong enough to
drop off the tape
at a predetermined place
and hid the tape.
Our job is to get it out
of there before someone
else does.
So, how do you propose
we get in there?
Ever hear of the
Dasht-l-Ravar
lnternational Race?
That's the one in the tire
commercial, isn't it?
Goes across the desert?
Yeah. A man and a woman
will be in each car
going right through
the middle of the country.
Oh, no.
The military police
and the new military
government
won't try to stop it
because it's the year's
biggest tourist attraction,
and the course,
just by accident,
happens to run right by
the town of Ariram.
That's where
the tape is hidden.
And Jaime is gonna be
in a race car in Taftan.
In 14 hours.
Oy.
Oy?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
There's only one day now
before the world famous
Dasht-I-Ravar
500-mile race.
The leading drivers
in the world
will be competing
in a grueling
500-mile race
across an open desert course
in the country of Taftan.
These autos travel
on this desert up to
100 miles an hour.
Wait a minute, Oscar.
Now we don't have to
go that fast, right?
(STAMMERS) 'Cause
I'm not in this
thing to win.
Right?
Oscar?
Oscar?
Jaime,
there was something
I didn't tell you
on the plane.
I didn't want to
worry you.
But we're not
the only ones that
know about this tape.
What does
that mean?
We discovered a double
agent working in our
communication center.
He found out about
the tape, its location,
and sold the information.
To whom?
I don't know.
Might be more
than one country
involved here.
But you can bet
that at least one
of these drivers here
have got the same
idea as we have.
Now, I'll answer your
question. I want you
to win this race,
but not to the finish,
to that bar in Ariram.
And that's why I've gotten
the fastest desert car
that money can buy,
and I've hired
Tim Sanders as
your driver.
I've heard of
Tim Sanders.
He is the best driver
in the world,
in my opinion.
He's won four consecutive
Grand Prix races,
all before he reached
the age of 25.
He's had some bad luck
in the last couple of
years, so, uh,
nobody will
sponsor him.
Oh! Oscar Goldman
excepted.
Oscar Bartholomew
excepted.
Bartholomew?
(SHUSHlNG)
I don't want anybody
to recognize my name.
(WHlSPERlNG)
Bartholomew.
Even Tim Sanders.
I mean, he's
a terrific driver.
But I don't want
him to know this is
an OSl mission.
Besides, I don't think
the name "Goldman"
would go over too well
in this country.
Tim Sanders?
Yeah.
Mr. Bartholomew?
This is your navigator,
Jaime Sommers.
She navigated two races
in Baja last summer.
Won them both.
Hi.
Uh, is something wrong
with my credentials?
(CHUCKLES)
No, no.
Your credentials
are just fine.
Hi.
How's it going here?
As well as can
be expected.
What does that mean?
(SlGHS)
Well, no offense,
Bartholomew,
but this rig here
is a turkey.
OSCAR: It's the best
money can buy.
Maybe. But it's sure
not Grand Prix.
I don't know how much
I can do with it.
Well, isn't there some way
you can fix it up?
It's too late. They don't
allow any modifications in
the car after the inspection.
It's gonna be impounded
until the start of the
race tomorrow.
(SlGHS) Well, since there's
nothing we can do here,
why not go back to the
hotel and have a drink,
discuss strategy?
Oh. Over dinner, I hope.
(WHlSPERS) I'm starving.
I think
I'd like that.
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)
OSCAR: And it's very important
you take the shortcut
through Ariram. Look, Tim.
You're crazy,
Bartholomew.
Stay on the main trail.
One out of ten drivers
gets through Ariram.
Nobody does it anymore.
Oscar?
Well, I realize
it's a rough road,
but it's our only chance
for a sure win.
Now, we haven't
got a fast car,
have we, Tim?
We can cut the time
down one hour.
Or get stranded
on a mountainside.
Jaime, you're
the navigator,
tell him.
Well, Tim, actually,
I think that
Mr. Bartholomew
does have a point.
Two against one.
So, it's settled,
you'll go through
Ariram.
Oh, brother!
Hey, listen.
We've got to
get some sleep.
We've got a big
day tomorrow.
Stay for a drink?
Well, I might
have some coffee.
Thank you. Good night,
Mr. Bartholomew.
Good night,
Miss Sommers.
Good night, Tim.
(CLlCKS TONGUE)
Ariram?
I think it's
very romantic.
(SlGHlNG)
You know, if I weren't
waiting for a Grand Prix
sponsor right now,
I would have told
Bartholomew what he
can do with that map.
Oh, you're going
back into racing?
I didn't know that.
After the crash
in lndianapolis
I thought
you'd retired.
At my age?
Oh, I may have had
a slow year,
but, uh, I've got
a Japanese firm
backing me now.
Matter of fact,
I'm designing
my own car.
Oh, that's terrific.
CARLOS: Tim! Tiny Tim!
Oh, no!
Hey!
What brings you
to the desert?
And who is this
ravishing creature sitting
here with you? Hmm?
Jaime Sommers,
my navigator.
Ah, Jaime Sommers.
And I'm here to race.
To race? So finally your
Japanese firm came through
after all these years?
I was beginning to think
it was all a big lie.
My name is
Carlos Scappini.
How do you do?
You might have
heard of me.
What are you doing
here, Scappini?
A dust run like this
is a little below
your league, isn't it?
Might get your
Guccis dirty.
Oh, I race where
my sponsor tells me.
And usually
I win.
I see.
And now, would you
come and have
a drink with me?
Well, thank you,
but I'm with Tim.
Oh, no, you are not
with Tim if you
come with me.
I don't give up easily.
(LAUGHS)
I can see that.
Why don't you leave us
alone, Scappini?
Per piacere, Jaime.
Scappini!
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I think I'm gonna
go to my room.
(EXCLAlMS) I will
escort you.
See you tomorrow. No, no.
That's quite all right.
I'm fine. Thanks.
Let go of her.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
Hey, Tiny Tim.
Get out of my way.
You drive like a woman,
and you fight
like a woman.
Well, uh,
don't push me.
I said a woman
and I mean
la donna.
(lCE CUBES CLlNKlNG)
(EXCLAlMS)
Come on, Jaime.
Let him cool off.
Excuse me, please.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Tim.
(GRUNTS)
I'll get you for this,
Sanders! I will get
you for this!
Come on.
Let's get out
of here.
We've got to
get some rest.
(CAR ENGlNES REVVlNG)
Scappini?
The ltalian driver?
Yeah. Tim said that, uh,
he doesn't usually do
this kind of a race.
No, he doesn't.
He's the hottest driver
on the Grand Prix circuit.
Well, he was the
coldest last night.
(LAUGHlNG)
Huh?
Nothing.
In any case, whoever
the foreign agent is,
you can be sure
he's after the tape.
Jaime, be careful.
Once you're out
on that race course,
the fighting could
get pretty dirty.
Tim? The pit stops are
all set. Gas, oil, tires,
anything you need.
Here's your map.
Thank you.
I'll see you at
the finish line.
Good luck, pal.
There you go.
What's that?
Your sick bag.
You'll need it.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
RACE ANNOUNCER: And the Dutch
driver, Flewning, is also
a major contender here today.
American driver, Tim Sanders,
is trying for a comeback
after his near fatal
crash at Indianapolis
four years ago.
Our government also
welcomes Le Mans winner
Carlos Scappini.
A late entry is
the Soviet driver
Alexei Kolyma.
And finally, the team
of Sato and Dizon
from Hong Kong.
All the drivers are now
making final adjustment
on their gear
as the race is
about to begin.
Their engines have
all been tuned
to a fine pitch,
their brakes and
transmissions checked
one last time.
Our helicopter
will be tracking
the race overhead
to give you a
play-by-play description
of all the action.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Scappini is moving
into an early lead,
with the Hong Kong team
close behind him.
We certainly hope
all the cars are
in good shape.
They are really going to
take a beating out there
on our course.
And the racers
are moving out
of the starting area
and off into the beautiful,
open desert country
of Taftan,
which our new
military government pledges
to preserve unmolested,
in all its natural beauty.
The American team is
overtaking the Soviets,
but the Soviet driver Kolyma
is not anxious to be passed,
and is trying to
nudge his way
back into the lead.
The American, Tim Sanders,
has been run off the course!
(SlGHS) This car's a dog.
If those Russians
hadn't been
better equipped,
they'd have never
squeezed past me.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The Americans are
back in the race now.
Carlos Scappini is
enlarging his lead,
but the team
from Hong Kong
is close behind.
The Dutch driver, Flewning,
in third place.
Fourth place,
the driver from Israel, Adis.
In fifth place,
the Greek, Disota.
One hundred miles
into the race.
The Soviet team
is moving up fast,
closing Scappini's
10-minute lead as they
approach the first pit stop.
Oh, have you got
another sick bag?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The Americans,
Sanders and Sommers,
have just
pulled into their
first pit stop now,
three minutes
behind the Soviets.
Where's the tires
and the equipment?
I don't know.
They couldn't have
just gotten up
and walked away.
How does Bartholomew expect
me to win this race if the
equipment's not here?
I'll find them myself.
(lN RUSSlAN ACCENT)
Did you Americans
lose something?
You have a saying,
"The early bird
get the worm."
I see you
in Ariram.
JAlME: Well, now we know
where those tires went.
(CLANKlNG)
(LOUD WHlRRlNG)
Well, the stuff's not here.
Couldn't find it anywhere.
Where did you
get the tires?
Who changed them?
Some guys came by
with the stuff and
helped me put it on.
I guess I would have
helped you myself.
Let's get gassed up
and get out of here.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Kolyma in eighth,
Bennett in ninth.
Tenth place,
Sanders and Sommers.
JAlME: What happened
to the Russians?
TlM: Up there.
TlM: Now, we're cooking.
JAlME: Tim, what is it?
Can't steer.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(METALLlC CREAKlNG)
Tim?
(CAR APPROACHlNG)
Tim?
(BEEPlNG)
RUSSlAN WOMAN:
So much for the Americans.
Faster, lvan. Faster.
(TlM MOANlNG)
JAlME: Hey! You okay?
(SlGHlNG)
Reasonably.
What happened?
We hit a log
and we flipped.
You okay?
I'm fine.
It's just a good thing
we didn't stay upside down.
(SlGHS) It's a good thing
we didn't end up dead.
Steering failed.
The piece of junk.
Well, let's see
what Bartholomew
fouled up this time.
You all right?
Yeah.
TlM: Somebody loosened
the steering linkage.
Pulled out the cotter pin.
Well, can you fix it?
Yeah. Get me
the tool kit,
will you?
I'll get you
for this, Sanders!
I will get you
for this!
Scappini.
Scappini did it!
RACE ANNOUNCER: After
the second checkpoint,
300 miles into the race,
Scappini still leads.
D'Angosto is second.
Three, Flewning.
Any sign of the Americans?
Sanders and Sommers?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Six, B'Zawni.
Seven, Johnson.
TlM: We're never
gonna catch up now.
JAlME: We can do it, Tim.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The Americans are
still far behind.
But the Dutch driver,
Flewning, is gaining ground,
as is the team
from Hong Kong in
the yellow truck, number 28.
The leader, Carlos Scappini,
is approaching the
dangerous Ariram turnoff.
He has passed it up
for the safer,
but longer route,
as we expect
most of the
drivers to do.
Who's in the lead?
Carlos Scappini.
Came through
20 minutes ago.
What about
the Russians?
Four or five
minutes ago.
Give us a full
load. Hurry!
ATTENDANT: Okay.
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know why
I said that. We don't
stand a chance
of making up 20 minutes
in this rig.
Oh, sure
we do, Tim.
The Ariram trail
is gonna cut off
at least an hour.
Do you think I was serious
when I told Bartholomew
I'd take that shortcut
through Ariram?
There's no way.
That route's
too dangerous.
It's the only way
we can win.
Oh, come on, Jaime.
Do I have to go
through that again?
We wouldn't get two miles
up that mountain path.
Well, we can try.
The answer is no.
You promised Bartholomew.
No!
I have won four
Grand Prix championships.
I've been in over
a thousand races,
and no half-baked sponsor
and his female navigator
is gonna tell me
how to drive my race.
Half baked? (STAMMERS)
Who do you think
you're talking to?
I'm talking about
this turkey rig.
I'm talking about
pit stops where
nothing is there.
I'm talking about
this crummy race
in this crummy desert.
Listen, you're lucky
to be in this race
at all.
No one else would have
hired you as a driver.
And don't give me
this junk about
a Japanese firm
sponsoring your next race,
or about this being
a lousy car.
Now, Bartholomew
was nice enough to
give you this job,
the least you can do
is go where he asks.
(SlGHS) Oh.
I'm sorry, Tim.
You're right.
Right to the jugular.
All I'm doing
is making excuses
for my driving.
(SlGHS) I guess
the kid just ain't
what he used to be.
Hey, come on, Tim.
ATTENDANT: All right.
Move her out.
Tim.
Let's try that
mountain trail, huh?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The American car
has left Checkpoint B,
well behind the Soviets.
Rjukan is 19th,
and in the last position
is the American car
driven by Tim Sanders
and Jaime Sommers.
JAlME: Oh, look.
There's somebody
who didn't make it.
TlM: The German team.
I wonder where
the Russians
are now.
RACE ANNOUNCER:taking
the extremely treacherous
and dangerous route
through the town of Ariram.
It appears that the Americans
are going to take
that route also.
Tim, the Russians
are taking it, too.
Come on.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
We wish them
good luck.
We're going back
to catch up with
the leader, Scappini.
JAlME: Oh! My stomach!
TlM: Keep your eyes
closed. We're out
of sick bags.
Hey, we're catching up
to the Russians.
(lNAUDlBLE)
TlM: Come on,
you dumb car!
Come on!
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)
JAlME: You can do it!
Come on!
We got them, Tim.
Go!
You drive
like a woman.
Oh, go!
TlM: We can't make it!
Tim, we could
have had them.
We could have won.
What are you
(BREATHlNG DEEPLY)
But, why?
You heard the man.
I drive like a woman.
Chauvinism intended.
You didn't answer
my question.
Oh, I thought you
knew the Tim Sanders
story by now.
How he was
the golden boy
of racing,
who got too much
too soon.
He couldn't handle
the pressure and cracked.
He got careless
at lndianapolis and
nearly killed himself.
I'm a loser, Jaime.
Bartholomew was
crazy to hire me.
Bartholomew happens to
think you're the best
driver in the world,
and after what I just saw
coming up that mountain,
I'm not about
to argue with him.
Oh, cut the pep talk!
I am so sick and tired of
hearing that self-righteous
"you can do it" line.
Yeah, you know,
I guess you're right,
Tim.
(STAMMERlNG) I'm sorry.
Yeah, you really can't
do it anymore.
You, uh, just
can't cut it.
You're a 29-year-old
has-been.
Is that what you
want to hear?
What do you want from me?
I'm admitting it.
It's not the car.
It's not the course.
It's me.
I can't hack
it anymore,
so get off my
The only reason you
can't hack it anymore is
because it's in your head.
That's the way
you're thinking.
Listen, Tim, I used to
be a tennis player,
and I know a self psych-out
when I see one.
Hey, you just beat yourself.
So what?
(SlGHS)
I suppose the next thing
you're gonna tell me
is that, uh,
I'm afraid of
winning, right?
Well, you've only
got two choices.
And winning certainly
can't be as bad
as losing.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
TlM: Come on.
Let's find
those Russians.
Tim.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(METALLlC CREAKlNG)
Jaime. It'll explode.
Jaime!
You could have
been killed.
(RUSSlAN WOMAN MOANlNG)
(PANTlNG) The steering
wheel. No steering.
Sabotage.
Sabotage.
(BEEPlNG)
(CAR ENGlNE STARTlNG
lN THE DlSTANCE)
TlM: Who?
I don't know.
Any word?
The rescue chopper
spotted the smoke.
They should be
here any minute.
Guess the only thing
we can do is wait.
No, no. We got to
get going.
There's nothing more
we can do here.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Helicopter rescue is
on the way.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
There they are,
the team from Hong Kong.
They're the leaders
and they're gonna
beat us, unless
Give me that map.
Now, they're taking
this curved trail
over there.
The only way to beat them
to Ariram and get back
into the race
is to take this
dried-up riverbed
right over there.
Okay. Let's go.
JAlME: Sure hope we don't
run into a flash flood.
(METALLlC THUDDlNG)
What happened?
TlM: Rear axle's stuck.
Marooned's
more like it.
Come on.
We can push it off.
We can
give it a try.
One, two, three!
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(METALLlC CREAKlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG)
It's amazing what you
can do when you try,
isn't it?
Come on. Come on.
Let's take them, Jaime.
Yeah, we beat them!
We beat them! (LAUGHS)
Now we got to
beat them to Ariram.
(CAR APPROACHlNG)
JAlME: Tim, stop! Just stop!
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
What's the matter?
Are you sick?
Tim, I have to go
into a bar right
back there.
What are you
talking about?
They're gonna catch up
with us in less
than a minute.
I don't have time
to explain it right now.
Jaime, we can win this.
I can win it
for the first time
in four years,
and you want me to stop?
You're crazy!
Why? Give
me a reason.
I can't, Tim.
I'm not giving
this one up.
Tim! Wait a minute.
Believe me, it's important.
You said winning this
was everything.
(STAMMERS) I work
for the government,
and I've got to pick
something up in that bar.
And it's only gonna
take me a few minutes,
okay? So, will you wait?
Please?
See you.
(SlGHS lN FRUSTRATlON)
No!
Tim!
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Hi.
(STAMMERlNG) I came
to pick up the tape.
I came to, uh,
pick up the tape.
(STAMMERlNG) It's a tape.
It's a very small little
cassette thing like
It's about that big,
you know,
and it goes around
in a circle
Lady, I speak English,
and I know what a tape
cassette is.
But aren't you supposed
to give me something first?
Oh!
Sorry.
This all
they gave you?
That's it.
You got
a credit card?
Come on.
Give me
the tape!
(CAR DOOR CLOSlNG)
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(GUN FlRlNG)
(GUNS FlRlNG)
JAlME: Tim, we had them.
We could have won.
Bartholomew feels that
you're the best driver
in the world.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(GUN FlRES)
(GUN FlRES)
(GUN FlRES)
(GUN FlRES)
What's going on?
(TlRE BURSTS)
Let's go.
Would you please tell
me what's going on?
Who were
those people?
(SPEAKlNG MANDARlN)
Your legs and the way
you threw that wrench
Tim, will you
just drive?
(YELLlNG lN MANDARlN)
TlM: Look. It's Scappini.
Come on, Tim.
We can win.
(GUN CLlCKlNG)
(SPEAKlNG MANDARlN)
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Carlos Scappini still has
a commanding lead.
He's way out in front,
and it looks like
he'll be the sure winner
of the Dasht-I-Ravar
500-mile race.
JAlME: We're gaining
on him now.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Carlos Scappini
proving once again
what a tremendous
driver he is.
Now, they're all alone
in number 230.
Wait a minute! Another car
has just pulled on
from the Ariram trail.
It is number 239,
the American car with
Sanders and Sommers.
They're coming on strong
and really putting the
pressure on Scappini.
Tim Sanders,
the long-shot American,
who had been going
downhill for the
last few years,
is certainly making up
for lost time now.
TlM: We're gonna
take him, Jaime.
JAlME: (LAUGHS)
If my kidneys
don't give out first.
RACE ANNOUNCER: Sanders
is doing better than
110 miles
an hour down there
and closing the gap.
Scappini hasn't seen
him yet.
And is he in
for a surprise!
Sanders is almost on
top of Scappini now.
And he's done it.
It's a two-car race
for the first time.
But there's a big
obstacle around
the next turn.
Come on. Go, Tim!
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The course narrows
near the Basti River.
There's only room
for one of those cars.
They're both maneuvering
for position.
Scappini trying to force
Sanders off the road.
Oh, Sanders is dropping
(JAlME EXCLAlMlNG)
Beautiful piece of
driving by Sanders.
But there is still only
room for one car.
JAlME: Come on.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
And Scappini
has bailed out!
Carlos Scappini
into the Basti River
and out of the race.
So, with only five miles
to the finish line,
the victory clearly
belongs to Tim Sanders
and Jaime Sommers.
(LAUGHS) You really
cooled him off again, huh?
JAlME: All right.
We got a race to win.
TlM: You've got it.
JAlME: Thank you.
(TOASTlNG lN lTALlAN)
So, the tape is
on its way back
to Washington?
Yep.
What's gonna happen
to the people who
shot at us?
I guess they'll be, uh,
charged for sabotaging
the cars.
Tim, you're
a winner now.
Are you gonna go back
on the Grand Prix circuit?
Yeah.
It's something
I have to do.
You?
I'll go back to
Ojai and teach.
I'm really happy
for you, Tim.
You know,
I know I didn't win
that race by myself.
Look, Tim, if anything,
I held you back.
I mean, if I hadn't
been in that car
with you,
you could have
won that race
by a mile.
Yeah, you're right.
(LAUGHlNG)
Tim, driver's ready
to take you to the airport.
Thanks for the chance,
Mr. Bartholomew.
We couldn't have
done it without you.
You won't be in my
next race, will you?
You don't
need me, kid.
You're a winner.
Bye.
So
To the winner.
(TlM LAUGHlNG)
(lNAUDlBLE)
And to the woman
who made him a winner.
We are flying over
the desert racing area
outside the capital city
of Aku,
here in the newly
liberated country
of Taftan.
And top race drivers
from all over the world
are here preparing
for the Dasht-I-Ravar
500-mile race
to be held
here in Taftan
day after tomorrow.
(SlRENS WAlLlNG)
OSCAR: Yes, Mr. Secretary,
he barely got away
after he dropped
the cassette
at the bar.
That's right.
And that's why
I've sent for
our bionic woman,
Jaime Sommers.
Sent for?
Kidnapped is
more like it.
Here she is.
She just walked
in the door.
Yes, Mr. Secretary.
I'll keep you informed.
Right you are.
Thank you.
Oscar, what is
so important
that one of your men
has to call me out
of my classroom
in the middle of
an algebra lesson,
throw me on a plane,
take me clear across
the country without
one word of explanation?
Was that the
Secretary of State?
Yes, it was.
And do you have
your passport?
Where are we going?
Southwest Asia. Taftan.
Oh.
Taftan. I read about
that yesterday in
the newspaper
that a military junta
took over the country, huh?
They've virtually
sealed off the
borders,
broke off all
diplomatic relations,
and, yesterday afternoon,
invaded the
American embassy.
One of our diplomats there
is actually an OSl agent.
He had on him a tape
that was full of six months
of top-secret information.
Luckily, he dodged
the military police
Iong enough to
drop off the tape
at a predetermined place
and hid the tape.
Our job is to get it out
of there before someone
else does.
So, how do you propose
we get in there?
Ever hear of the
Dasht-l-Ravar
lnternational Race?
That's the one in the tire
commercial, isn't it?
Goes across the desert?
Yeah. A man and a woman
will be in each car
going right through
the middle of the country.
Oh, no.
The military police
and the new military
government
won't try to stop it
because it's the year's
biggest tourist attraction,
and the course,
just by accident,
happens to run right by
the town of Ariram.
That's where
the tape is hidden.
And Jaime is gonna be
in a race car in Taftan.
In 14 hours.
Oy.
Oy?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
There's only one day now
before the world famous
Dasht-I-Ravar
500-mile race.
The leading drivers
in the world
will be competing
in a grueling
500-mile race
across an open desert course
in the country of Taftan.
These autos travel
on this desert up to
100 miles an hour.
Wait a minute, Oscar.
Now we don't have to
go that fast, right?
(STAMMERS) 'Cause
I'm not in this
thing to win.
Right?
Oscar?
Oscar?
Jaime,
there was something
I didn't tell you
on the plane.
I didn't want to
worry you.
But we're not
the only ones that
know about this tape.
What does
that mean?
We discovered a double
agent working in our
communication center.
He found out about
the tape, its location,
and sold the information.
To whom?
I don't know.
Might be more
than one country
involved here.
But you can bet
that at least one
of these drivers here
have got the same
idea as we have.
Now, I'll answer your
question. I want you
to win this race,
but not to the finish,
to that bar in Ariram.
And that's why I've gotten
the fastest desert car
that money can buy,
and I've hired
Tim Sanders as
your driver.
I've heard of
Tim Sanders.
He is the best driver
in the world,
in my opinion.
He's won four consecutive
Grand Prix races,
all before he reached
the age of 25.
He's had some bad luck
in the last couple of
years, so, uh,
nobody will
sponsor him.
Oh! Oscar Goldman
excepted.
Oscar Bartholomew
excepted.
Bartholomew?
(SHUSHlNG)
I don't want anybody
to recognize my name.
(WHlSPERlNG)
Bartholomew.
Even Tim Sanders.
I mean, he's
a terrific driver.
But I don't want
him to know this is
an OSl mission.
Besides, I don't think
the name "Goldman"
would go over too well
in this country.
Tim Sanders?
Yeah.
Mr. Bartholomew?
This is your navigator,
Jaime Sommers.
She navigated two races
in Baja last summer.
Won them both.
Hi.
Uh, is something wrong
with my credentials?
(CHUCKLES)
No, no.
Your credentials
are just fine.
Hi.
How's it going here?
As well as can
be expected.
What does that mean?
(SlGHS)
Well, no offense,
Bartholomew,
but this rig here
is a turkey.
OSCAR: It's the best
money can buy.
Maybe. But it's sure
not Grand Prix.
I don't know how much
I can do with it.
Well, isn't there some way
you can fix it up?
It's too late. They don't
allow any modifications in
the car after the inspection.
It's gonna be impounded
until the start of the
race tomorrow.
(SlGHS) Well, since there's
nothing we can do here,
why not go back to the
hotel and have a drink,
discuss strategy?
Oh. Over dinner, I hope.
(WHlSPERS) I'm starving.
I think
I'd like that.
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)
OSCAR: And it's very important
you take the shortcut
through Ariram. Look, Tim.
You're crazy,
Bartholomew.
Stay on the main trail.
One out of ten drivers
gets through Ariram.
Nobody does it anymore.
Oscar?
Well, I realize
it's a rough road,
but it's our only chance
for a sure win.
Now, we haven't
got a fast car,
have we, Tim?
We can cut the time
down one hour.
Or get stranded
on a mountainside.
Jaime, you're
the navigator,
tell him.
Well, Tim, actually,
I think that
Mr. Bartholomew
does have a point.
Two against one.
So, it's settled,
you'll go through
Ariram.
Oh, brother!
Hey, listen.
We've got to
get some sleep.
We've got a big
day tomorrow.
Stay for a drink?
Well, I might
have some coffee.
Thank you. Good night,
Mr. Bartholomew.
Good night,
Miss Sommers.
Good night, Tim.
(CLlCKS TONGUE)
Ariram?
I think it's
very romantic.
(SlGHlNG)
You know, if I weren't
waiting for a Grand Prix
sponsor right now,
I would have told
Bartholomew what he
can do with that map.
Oh, you're going
back into racing?
I didn't know that.
After the crash
in lndianapolis
I thought
you'd retired.
At my age?
Oh, I may have had
a slow year,
but, uh, I've got
a Japanese firm
backing me now.
Matter of fact,
I'm designing
my own car.
Oh, that's terrific.
CARLOS: Tim! Tiny Tim!
Oh, no!
Hey!
What brings you
to the desert?
And who is this
ravishing creature sitting
here with you? Hmm?
Jaime Sommers,
my navigator.
Ah, Jaime Sommers.
And I'm here to race.
To race? So finally your
Japanese firm came through
after all these years?
I was beginning to think
it was all a big lie.
My name is
Carlos Scappini.
How do you do?
You might have
heard of me.
What are you doing
here, Scappini?
A dust run like this
is a little below
your league, isn't it?
Might get your
Guccis dirty.
Oh, I race where
my sponsor tells me.
And usually
I win.
I see.
And now, would you
come and have
a drink with me?
Well, thank you,
but I'm with Tim.
Oh, no, you are not
with Tim if you
come with me.
I don't give up easily.
(LAUGHS)
I can see that.
Why don't you leave us
alone, Scappini?
Per piacere, Jaime.
Scappini!
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I think I'm gonna
go to my room.
(EXCLAlMS) I will
escort you.
See you tomorrow. No, no.
That's quite all right.
I'm fine. Thanks.
Let go of her.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
Hey, Tiny Tim.
Get out of my way.
You drive like a woman,
and you fight
like a woman.
Well, uh,
don't push me.
I said a woman
and I mean
la donna.
(lCE CUBES CLlNKlNG)
(EXCLAlMS)
Come on, Jaime.
Let him cool off.
Excuse me, please.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Tim.
(GRUNTS)
I'll get you for this,
Sanders! I will get
you for this!
Come on.
Let's get out
of here.
We've got to
get some rest.
(CAR ENGlNES REVVlNG)
Scappini?
The ltalian driver?
Yeah. Tim said that, uh,
he doesn't usually do
this kind of a race.
No, he doesn't.
He's the hottest driver
on the Grand Prix circuit.
Well, he was the
coldest last night.
(LAUGHlNG)
Huh?
Nothing.
In any case, whoever
the foreign agent is,
you can be sure
he's after the tape.
Jaime, be careful.
Once you're out
on that race course,
the fighting could
get pretty dirty.
Tim? The pit stops are
all set. Gas, oil, tires,
anything you need.
Here's your map.
Thank you.
I'll see you at
the finish line.
Good luck, pal.
There you go.
What's that?
Your sick bag.
You'll need it.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
RACE ANNOUNCER: And the Dutch
driver, Flewning, is also
a major contender here today.
American driver, Tim Sanders,
is trying for a comeback
after his near fatal
crash at Indianapolis
four years ago.
Our government also
welcomes Le Mans winner
Carlos Scappini.
A late entry is
the Soviet driver
Alexei Kolyma.
And finally, the team
of Sato and Dizon
from Hong Kong.
All the drivers are now
making final adjustment
on their gear
as the race is
about to begin.
Their engines have
all been tuned
to a fine pitch,
their brakes and
transmissions checked
one last time.
Our helicopter
will be tracking
the race overhead
to give you a
play-by-play description
of all the action.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Scappini is moving
into an early lead,
with the Hong Kong team
close behind him.
We certainly hope
all the cars are
in good shape.
They are really going to
take a beating out there
on our course.
And the racers
are moving out
of the starting area
and off into the beautiful,
open desert country
of Taftan,
which our new
military government pledges
to preserve unmolested,
in all its natural beauty.
The American team is
overtaking the Soviets,
but the Soviet driver Kolyma
is not anxious to be passed,
and is trying to
nudge his way
back into the lead.
The American, Tim Sanders,
has been run off the course!
(SlGHS) This car's a dog.
If those Russians
hadn't been
better equipped,
they'd have never
squeezed past me.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The Americans are
back in the race now.
Carlos Scappini is
enlarging his lead,
but the team
from Hong Kong
is close behind.
The Dutch driver, Flewning,
in third place.
Fourth place,
the driver from Israel, Adis.
In fifth place,
the Greek, Disota.
One hundred miles
into the race.
The Soviet team
is moving up fast,
closing Scappini's
10-minute lead as they
approach the first pit stop.
Oh, have you got
another sick bag?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The Americans,
Sanders and Sommers,
have just
pulled into their
first pit stop now,
three minutes
behind the Soviets.
Where's the tires
and the equipment?
I don't know.
They couldn't have
just gotten up
and walked away.
How does Bartholomew expect
me to win this race if the
equipment's not here?
I'll find them myself.
(lN RUSSlAN ACCENT)
Did you Americans
lose something?
You have a saying,
"The early bird
get the worm."
I see you
in Ariram.
JAlME: Well, now we know
where those tires went.
(CLANKlNG)
(LOUD WHlRRlNG)
Well, the stuff's not here.
Couldn't find it anywhere.
Where did you
get the tires?
Who changed them?
Some guys came by
with the stuff and
helped me put it on.
I guess I would have
helped you myself.
Let's get gassed up
and get out of here.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Kolyma in eighth,
Bennett in ninth.
Tenth place,
Sanders and Sommers.
JAlME: What happened
to the Russians?
TlM: Up there.
TlM: Now, we're cooking.
JAlME: Tim, what is it?
Can't steer.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(METALLlC CREAKlNG)
Tim?
(CAR APPROACHlNG)
Tim?
(BEEPlNG)
RUSSlAN WOMAN:
So much for the Americans.
Faster, lvan. Faster.
(TlM MOANlNG)
JAlME: Hey! You okay?
(SlGHlNG)
Reasonably.
What happened?
We hit a log
and we flipped.
You okay?
I'm fine.
It's just a good thing
we didn't stay upside down.
(SlGHS) It's a good thing
we didn't end up dead.
Steering failed.
The piece of junk.
Well, let's see
what Bartholomew
fouled up this time.
You all right?
Yeah.
TlM: Somebody loosened
the steering linkage.
Pulled out the cotter pin.
Well, can you fix it?
Yeah. Get me
the tool kit,
will you?
I'll get you
for this, Sanders!
I will get you
for this!
Scappini.
Scappini did it!
RACE ANNOUNCER: After
the second checkpoint,
300 miles into the race,
Scappini still leads.
D'Angosto is second.
Three, Flewning.
Any sign of the Americans?
Sanders and Sommers?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Six, B'Zawni.
Seven, Johnson.
TlM: We're never
gonna catch up now.
JAlME: We can do it, Tim.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The Americans are
still far behind.
But the Dutch driver,
Flewning, is gaining ground,
as is the team
from Hong Kong in
the yellow truck, number 28.
The leader, Carlos Scappini,
is approaching the
dangerous Ariram turnoff.
He has passed it up
for the safer,
but longer route,
as we expect
most of the
drivers to do.
Who's in the lead?
Carlos Scappini.
Came through
20 minutes ago.
What about
the Russians?
Four or five
minutes ago.
Give us a full
load. Hurry!
ATTENDANT: Okay.
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know why
I said that. We don't
stand a chance
of making up 20 minutes
in this rig.
Oh, sure
we do, Tim.
The Ariram trail
is gonna cut off
at least an hour.
Do you think I was serious
when I told Bartholomew
I'd take that shortcut
through Ariram?
There's no way.
That route's
too dangerous.
It's the only way
we can win.
Oh, come on, Jaime.
Do I have to go
through that again?
We wouldn't get two miles
up that mountain path.
Well, we can try.
The answer is no.
You promised Bartholomew.
No!
I have won four
Grand Prix championships.
I've been in over
a thousand races,
and no half-baked sponsor
and his female navigator
is gonna tell me
how to drive my race.
Half baked? (STAMMERS)
Who do you think
you're talking to?
I'm talking about
this turkey rig.
I'm talking about
pit stops where
nothing is there.
I'm talking about
this crummy race
in this crummy desert.
Listen, you're lucky
to be in this race
at all.
No one else would have
hired you as a driver.
And don't give me
this junk about
a Japanese firm
sponsoring your next race,
or about this being
a lousy car.
Now, Bartholomew
was nice enough to
give you this job,
the least you can do
is go where he asks.
(SlGHS) Oh.
I'm sorry, Tim.
You're right.
Right to the jugular.
All I'm doing
is making excuses
for my driving.
(SlGHS) I guess
the kid just ain't
what he used to be.
Hey, come on, Tim.
ATTENDANT: All right.
Move her out.
Tim.
Let's try that
mountain trail, huh?
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The American car
has left Checkpoint B,
well behind the Soviets.
Rjukan is 19th,
and in the last position
is the American car
driven by Tim Sanders
and Jaime Sommers.
JAlME: Oh, look.
There's somebody
who didn't make it.
TlM: The German team.
I wonder where
the Russians
are now.
RACE ANNOUNCER:taking
the extremely treacherous
and dangerous route
through the town of Ariram.
It appears that the Americans
are going to take
that route also.
Tim, the Russians
are taking it, too.
Come on.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
We wish them
good luck.
We're going back
to catch up with
the leader, Scappini.
JAlME: Oh! My stomach!
TlM: Keep your eyes
closed. We're out
of sick bags.
Hey, we're catching up
to the Russians.
(lNAUDlBLE)
TlM: Come on,
you dumb car!
Come on!
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)
JAlME: You can do it!
Come on!
We got them, Tim.
Go!
You drive
like a woman.
Oh, go!
TlM: We can't make it!
Tim, we could
have had them.
We could have won.
What are you
(BREATHlNG DEEPLY)
But, why?
You heard the man.
I drive like a woman.
Chauvinism intended.
You didn't answer
my question.
Oh, I thought you
knew the Tim Sanders
story by now.
How he was
the golden boy
of racing,
who got too much
too soon.
He couldn't handle
the pressure and cracked.
He got careless
at lndianapolis and
nearly killed himself.
I'm a loser, Jaime.
Bartholomew was
crazy to hire me.
Bartholomew happens to
think you're the best
driver in the world,
and after what I just saw
coming up that mountain,
I'm not about
to argue with him.
Oh, cut the pep talk!
I am so sick and tired of
hearing that self-righteous
"you can do it" line.
Yeah, you know,
I guess you're right,
Tim.
(STAMMERlNG) I'm sorry.
Yeah, you really can't
do it anymore.
You, uh, just
can't cut it.
You're a 29-year-old
has-been.
Is that what you
want to hear?
What do you want from me?
I'm admitting it.
It's not the car.
It's not the course.
It's me.
I can't hack
it anymore,
so get off my
The only reason you
can't hack it anymore is
because it's in your head.
That's the way
you're thinking.
Listen, Tim, I used to
be a tennis player,
and I know a self psych-out
when I see one.
Hey, you just beat yourself.
So what?
(SlGHS)
I suppose the next thing
you're gonna tell me
is that, uh,
I'm afraid of
winning, right?
Well, you've only
got two choices.
And winning certainly
can't be as bad
as losing.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
TlM: Come on.
Let's find
those Russians.
Tim.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(METALLlC CREAKlNG)
Jaime. It'll explode.
Jaime!
You could have
been killed.
(RUSSlAN WOMAN MOANlNG)
(PANTlNG) The steering
wheel. No steering.
Sabotage.
Sabotage.
(BEEPlNG)
(CAR ENGlNE STARTlNG
lN THE DlSTANCE)
TlM: Who?
I don't know.
Any word?
The rescue chopper
spotted the smoke.
They should be
here any minute.
Guess the only thing
we can do is wait.
No, no. We got to
get going.
There's nothing more
we can do here.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Helicopter rescue is
on the way.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
There they are,
the team from Hong Kong.
They're the leaders
and they're gonna
beat us, unless
Give me that map.
Now, they're taking
this curved trail
over there.
The only way to beat them
to Ariram and get back
into the race
is to take this
dried-up riverbed
right over there.
Okay. Let's go.
JAlME: Sure hope we don't
run into a flash flood.
(METALLlC THUDDlNG)
What happened?
TlM: Rear axle's stuck.
Marooned's
more like it.
Come on.
We can push it off.
We can
give it a try.
One, two, three!
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(METALLlC CREAKlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG)
It's amazing what you
can do when you try,
isn't it?
Come on. Come on.
Let's take them, Jaime.
Yeah, we beat them!
We beat them! (LAUGHS)
Now we got to
beat them to Ariram.
(CAR APPROACHlNG)
JAlME: Tim, stop! Just stop!
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
What's the matter?
Are you sick?
Tim, I have to go
into a bar right
back there.
What are you
talking about?
They're gonna catch up
with us in less
than a minute.
I don't have time
to explain it right now.
Jaime, we can win this.
I can win it
for the first time
in four years,
and you want me to stop?
You're crazy!
Why? Give
me a reason.
I can't, Tim.
I'm not giving
this one up.
Tim! Wait a minute.
Believe me, it's important.
You said winning this
was everything.
(STAMMERS) I work
for the government,
and I've got to pick
something up in that bar.
And it's only gonna
take me a few minutes,
okay? So, will you wait?
Please?
See you.
(SlGHS lN FRUSTRATlON)
No!
Tim!
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Hi.
(STAMMERlNG) I came
to pick up the tape.
I came to, uh,
pick up the tape.
(STAMMERlNG) It's a tape.
It's a very small little
cassette thing like
It's about that big,
you know,
and it goes around
in a circle
Lady, I speak English,
and I know what a tape
cassette is.
But aren't you supposed
to give me something first?
Oh!
Sorry.
This all
they gave you?
That's it.
You got
a credit card?
Come on.
Give me
the tape!
(CAR DOOR CLOSlNG)
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(GUN FlRlNG)
(GUNS FlRlNG)
JAlME: Tim, we had them.
We could have won.
Bartholomew feels that
you're the best driver
in the world.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(GUN FlRES)
(GUN FlRES)
(GUN FlRES)
(GUN FlRES)
What's going on?
(TlRE BURSTS)
Let's go.
Would you please tell
me what's going on?
Who were
those people?
(SPEAKlNG MANDARlN)
Your legs and the way
you threw that wrench
Tim, will you
just drive?
(YELLlNG lN MANDARlN)
TlM: Look. It's Scappini.
Come on, Tim.
We can win.
(GUN CLlCKlNG)
(SPEAKlNG MANDARlN)
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Carlos Scappini still has
a commanding lead.
He's way out in front,
and it looks like
he'll be the sure winner
of the Dasht-I-Ravar
500-mile race.
JAlME: We're gaining
on him now.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Carlos Scappini
proving once again
what a tremendous
driver he is.
Now, they're all alone
in number 230.
Wait a minute! Another car
has just pulled on
from the Ariram trail.
It is number 239,
the American car with
Sanders and Sommers.
They're coming on strong
and really putting the
pressure on Scappini.
Tim Sanders,
the long-shot American,
who had been going
downhill for the
last few years,
is certainly making up
for lost time now.
TlM: We're gonna
take him, Jaime.
JAlME: (LAUGHS)
If my kidneys
don't give out first.
RACE ANNOUNCER: Sanders
is doing better than
110 miles
an hour down there
and closing the gap.
Scappini hasn't seen
him yet.
And is he in
for a surprise!
Sanders is almost on
top of Scappini now.
And he's done it.
It's a two-car race
for the first time.
But there's a big
obstacle around
the next turn.
Come on. Go, Tim!
RACE ANNOUNCER:
The course narrows
near the Basti River.
There's only room
for one of those cars.
They're both maneuvering
for position.
Scappini trying to force
Sanders off the road.
Oh, Sanders is dropping
(JAlME EXCLAlMlNG)
Beautiful piece of
driving by Sanders.
But there is still only
room for one car.
JAlME: Come on.
RACE ANNOUNCER:
And Scappini
has bailed out!
Carlos Scappini
into the Basti River
and out of the race.
So, with only five miles
to the finish line,
the victory clearly
belongs to Tim Sanders
and Jaime Sommers.
(LAUGHS) You really
cooled him off again, huh?
JAlME: All right.
We got a race to win.
TlM: You've got it.
JAlME: Thank you.
(TOASTlNG lN lTALlAN)
So, the tape is
on its way back
to Washington?
Yep.
What's gonna happen
to the people who
shot at us?
I guess they'll be, uh,
charged for sabotaging
the cars.
Tim, you're
a winner now.
Are you gonna go back
on the Grand Prix circuit?
Yeah.
It's something
I have to do.
You?
I'll go back to
Ojai and teach.
I'm really happy
for you, Tim.
You know,
I know I didn't win
that race by myself.
Look, Tim, if anything,
I held you back.
I mean, if I hadn't
been in that car
with you,
you could have
won that race
by a mile.
Yeah, you're right.
(LAUGHlNG)
Tim, driver's ready
to take you to the airport.
Thanks for the chance,
Mr. Bartholomew.
We couldn't have
done it without you.
You won't be in my
next race, will you?
You don't
need me, kid.
You're a winner.
Bye.
So
To the winner.
(TlM LAUGHlNG)
(lNAUDlBLE)
And to the woman
who made him a winner.