The Crew (2021) s01e09 Episode Script

[all cheering]
[Chuck] All right. Yeah.
Dad, maybe we can talk upstairs.
Anything you say,
you can say in front of my boys.
Okay. You're destroying this team
the same way you destroyed my childhood,
with your constant philandering
and revolving door of stepmoms.
- My office.
- [Catherine] Mm.
What just happened?
I don't know, but everything
worked out the way I wanted.
I'm either the luckiest guy
in the world or the smartest.
I'm ready to vote.
I mean, this is amazing.
Think about this. We get to roll
everything back to the way it was BC.
Before Catherine.
The first thing going right away
is those stupid morning meetings.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Those are the worst.
- Right?
- A colossal waste of time.
- You have to wake up all early.
- Yeah. For what?
I'll tell you what I'm doing tomorrow.
Not getting up 15 minutes early
to go to a morning meeting.
I might stop
and get me a cup of coffee from a café.
- Mmm. You do that.
- Yeah.
Well, 15 minutes might not be enough time
to stop at a café.
Hmm. Guess I could get it
from a gas station.
- There you go. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Do it, 'cause you
Everybody's got an extra 15 minutes!
That's the start of it.
Let's get rid of all her dumb changes.
Well, not the computers though, right?
I don't wanna say my other one was old,
but the start-up chime
was a Gregorian chant.
Its keyboard was in Sanskrit.
You… you done?
Well, the printer was a guy with a chisel.
What else we gettin' rid of?
Oh, please don't touch her dental plan.
I love Dr. Travis.
I can finally chew on my right side.
Yeah, he's great,
and he's very generous with the gas.
I had to go give him a new insurance card,
and he gave me a couple hits.
Okay, fine, okay?
But can we focus, please?
I'm talking about the other stuff.
Bad stuff. Like the morning meetings.
Right, right. You mentioned those.
And now they're gone. You're welcome.
Okay?
I'll tell you what I wanna get rid of.
Right off the bat is the, uh
Also, the, uh
The thing she
I think we're excited right now
'cause it just happened.
It's like happening now.
We should probably take the day.
Think about things you wanna get rid of.
Tomorrow, say we come in
15 minutes early and we talk about 'em?
Like a meeting?
More of an informal get-together.
Big difference, Jake. Big difference.
Can I still get a gas station coffee?
Don't think you have enough time.
[theme music playing]
Now, I know it was an awkward situation.
I'm sorry to spring it on you,
but you left me no choice.
Listen, I
Now, that is a civilized way
to have a conversation.
You remind me so much of your mother
when you do that.
We had a deal.
- Jake's a better driver.
- I don't care about Jake.
This is about you undermining me
in front of people
that I spent months trying
to get to respect me.
I put you in this job
before you were ready.
It's like when you were a kid
and I tossed you into the pool.
You were so stubborn,
you went to the bottom
and stayed there making bubbles.
I wasn't stubborn,
I was four.
I was drowning.
Well, I always just figured
the best way to learn is by doing.
Yeah, I remember that speech.
You gave it when you taught me to grill,
when you gave me lighter fluid
and a pack of matches.
Remember how that fireball
took off your eyebrows?
I don't have to remember.
I can look at pictures from my prom.
I told you to stencil them on like Nana,
but you wouldn't listen.
Nana looks like a clown in a wind tunnel.
[groans] I need you to go down there
and tell people that you were wrong.
I'm not though.
You'll be my number two,
and once you're ready,
I'll ride off into the sunset
and never come back.
And for your information,
Nana was born without eyebrows,
which is why she was such
an excellent swimmer.
[rock music playing]
- [scoffs] And what did Catherine do?
- [laughing] Nobody knows.
Her and Bobby went into her office,
and then she just came out,
put on her pointy hat,
got on her broom, and left.
[chuckling]
Said she had to think about it.
Only you could make thinking
sound so ugly.
Thinking's overrated, right?
However it happened, congratulations.
I never doubted you.
Aw. I appreciate that, Frank.
Many fortunes have been lost
betting against me.
Except at Scrabble.
Okay. Any dictionary that doesn't have
"sorryness" in it is lame.
The state of being sorry.
Exactly. Thankyness.
[cell phone ringing]
Oh, God. I gotta grab this.
So, you think Catherine's gonna quit?
Who cares, right?
I mean, I don't I don't blame her.
I mean… Look, she's not
She's not a bad egg.
It's just that sometimes you gotta crack
a couple of eggs to make an omelet.
And that's that's what this is.
This is an omelet, you know?
You started a metaphor not knowing
where you were going, didn't you?
- Yeah, I do that with analogies too.
- [Beth chuckles]
You know what it's like?
It's like, uh… we never
Oh, no, almost.
- I'm not doing it anymore.
- [laughs]
I can't believe this.
I just got a huge promotion.
- They're making me a partner.
- What? Oh my God. Babe! Way to go!
Yeah, I mean, my new boss got fired.
I She'd only been there, like, a month.
I guess somebody forgot to press mute
on a conference call.
Oh! Two women get fired,
and the men benefit.
We ain't done yet, world.
[chuckles]
You ruined that good moment so fast.
I had no idea
they were considering me for this job,
but they want me to come up
to New York right away.
I love it. Congrats.
I guess we know who's buying.
Same guy who always does?
Oh, come on. I always pretend to reach.
I'm like, "I got…" [moans]
So, New York. You gonna take it?
Uh, am I gonna take the job
that I've wanted for 20 years?
Let me think. Yes.
What'd I do?
[quietly] I think
it's the part about New York.
New York.
Of course.
It's in New York, and you're here,
and those are very far apart.
- Um, I'm so happy for you, Frank…
- No, I know, but we never talked about…
I know,
but I never wanted to pressure you…
No, but I always just assumed
that that someday we'd probably…
Probably?
Almost definitely…
Yeah. Let's talk about this later.
Kevin's uncomfortable.
Not uncomfortable at all.
I am here for both you.
And, due to Frank's promotion,
I say we get some chocolate lava cake
up in this biznatch. Huh?
Come on. Three spoons? Two? Let's do it.
I'll do it on my own. I don't care.
[rock music playing]
I think we have a plan.
And you'll put on the thicker sway bar?
- Yep, and I'll lower the steering ratio.
- [Kevin] Okay.
Want me to take out that extra mirror
that Jessie was checking her hair in?
- We put that in for Jake.
- Yeah. Right.
I know I'm late.
- I'm sorry I missed the morning meeting.
- Oh, uh, uh…
"Informal get-together."
- What'd I miss?
- We got a late start.
Chuck saw a raccoon eating a hot dog
out by the dumpster.
Yeah, then he washed his hands
in a puddle, so, we're way behind.
Well, since you're all here,
can I ask your advice about something?
Did you fill them in about me and Frank?
No. I wouldn't say anything.
It's between us.
I'm not listening to this twice.
Frank got a job in New York
and had to be reminded
that you live in Charlotte
and that's a problem.
Yeah, I told them.
So, last night, Frank asked me if I want
to move to New York and live with him.
[gasps] Congratulations!
Oh, did I read this wrong?
Am I alone here?
Okay, forget I said anything.
Unless you're happy, in which case…
[softly] …congratulations.
If he wanted to live with me,
why didn't he ask in Charlotte?
Men wait to make big relationship moves
until they have a gun to their head.
- My wife was pregnant.
- Mine had an actual gun to my head.
That's not the worst part.
He said that I could get
an office manager job in New York.
[chuckles] I mean,
I'm not just an office manager.
I am an office manager
for a racing team that I love.
Working with people that I love.
And Amir.
- Oh! [groans]
- [laughs]
How did you beat me to that?
I was sitting on it.
I was like, "Please say 'love' again,"
'cause I was gonna nail him.
[Chuck sighs]
I just feel like Frank doesn't respect
how much my career means to me.
What'll you do?
[sighs] He's a decent guy,
and I gotta be realistic.
I always thought
that I'd be married and have kids,
and it's getting too late to start over.
I I should go.
It's the reasonable thing to do.
Well, we'll miss you.
Yeah, we will miss you.
Uh… hey, slightly off topic.
Can I have your chair?
Hold on a second.
Are you even listening to yourself?
You're settling.
You never settle.
You canceled your birthday
'cause they didn't have
ice cream you wanted.
I'm almost 40.
Almost?
When you cancel your party,
your birthday doesn't count.
[sighs]
You get married because you can't imagine
your life without the other person.
Not because
it's the reasonable thing to do.
Kevin, you always tell me
that I break up with guys too easily.
No. I'm always telling you
your laugh is weird. Which it is.
Yeah, it goes up on the second "ha."
Like, "Ha ha."
It does. "Ha ha."
Like you've invented the light bulb.
"Ha ha."
Thought you liked my laugh.
I do! But I also like watching
a raccoon eat a hot dog.
It was crazy.
He was holding it like a flute.
Look, I want you to find the right guy.
You just don't seem very excited
for someone who's gonna give up everything
and move to New York.
Unbelievable.
I came to you for support,
and you're telling me to dump the guy.
The great thing about our relationship,
I thought, was that we tell the truth.
Look, if you wanna go, go.
You already made up your mind.
Okay, fine. I will.
Okay. Wait, Beth, before you go,
let me just ask you,
where did we land vis-à-vis the chair?
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doing?
I want you to run laps
in the sim for Daytona.
It's Tuesday. It's leg day.
Jake, today is Wednesday.
No, it's not.
Oh, crap.
My Grandma's at the airport,
and I have her insulin.
Oh!
- Whoa. What's up with him?
- Oh.
- He's just confused on what day it is.
- How far off?
- Just one day.
- Not horrible.
It is if you're 90 years old
and your kidneys are shutting down
at baggage claim.
Okay.
Don't worry, I'm not back.
I'm just here to pick up my stuff,
and I wanted to talk to you.
I want you to know
I didn't go to your dad.
All right? I was trying to get Jake
on another team, and he found out.
And when you tried to get me fired
two weeks ago?
Learn to enjoy life
in the present, Catherine.
Well, I just wanted
to tell you personally,
I'm quitting.
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.
You did that without smiling.
I'm really impressed.
I was thinking about a turtle
and how scared he must be
when he flips over on his shell.
Well, no. Go ahead.
Enjoy yourself. You won.
I don't know if I won.
Other people are saying it.
Pretty much everyone, but
Look, I really am sorry
about how the way things went down.
- [Catherine] Yeah.
- You know?
And I know we didn't get along, but…
I like you.
- Am I supposed to say I like you too?
- There you go. Was that so hard?
Well, before I go,
there's something you need to know.
Okay, I'm gonna stop you.
I am flattered,
but we're two very different people.
Before I got here,
my dad was trying
to sell the team and retire.
So, why'd he put you in charge?
Because I begged him.
If he sold the team,
the shop and name would be gone.
We'd be a footnote in a history book.
And you wanna know something?
Doesn't matter.
I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
Well, once I dug through the books,
and… this place is on the edge.
I know Jake's a better driver,
but Jessie would've brought in more money.
The days of the little team
are disappearing.
So if you guys
don't figure out a way to expand,
it's only a matter of time
before you're gone.
Okay. Why didn't you ever tell me this?
I told you we needed more money
since I got here.
Yeah, was I making eye contact though?
Because you'll think I'm listening,
and I'm really just checking out
my reflection in something shiny.
Like right now,
the glare off the simulator?
Look, I can see myself
Look at how big my ears look in that.
That's weird.
I hope I'm wrong about all this.
I'm not.
Goodbye, Kevin.
[Kevin exhales]
Crap.
[sighs]
- All right.
- Yeah.
Hey, listen. I was thinking.
Kevin respects
your opinion more than mine.
Everybody does.
Oh, which reminds me.
Tell your wife I got the paint samples,
and I like the "Chablis cream"
for your den.
Okay. There's no way she cares
what you think.
Hey, Google. Take a note. Chablis cream.
[automated voice] Saving note.
People don't know this,
but I get really nervous
in stressful situations.
[sarcastically] No. You hide it so well.
Anyway, I think that
when we talk to Kevin, you should start.
- Fine.
- And continue and finish.
And I will nod in strong support.
All right. Okay. Oh. Here he comes.
Hey. Got your message.
What's the emergency?
Oh. Well, Amir and I were talking
Yes.
And, uh, we were thinking
about the, uh, Beth and Frank situation.
Mmm. Indeed we were.
And Amir had a really interesting point.
Are you kidding me?
I decided to let you absorb all his anger,
then I'll just swoop in
when he calms down.
Fine.
Why did you tell Beth to stay?
I didn't think she should settle
and she's the only one
with a little enough hand
to get in the candy machine
when something gets stuck.
Anything else?
I don't think it's that simple.
- Chuck and I were saying that we think
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
Don't drag me
into your little conspiracy theory.
I think you have feelings for Beth,
and that's why
you don't want her to leave.
[sighs]
- Wow.
- [Amir] Yeah.
- I… I appreciate that.
- [Amir] It's okay.
But you are dumb.
And I know this
because only a dumb person
would say what you just said.
Taking a lot of fire here.
Feel free to swoop.
Fine, fine. Look, Kev.
You and Beth are close.
I mean, you tell each other your problems,
you hang out.
It's not crazy to think
that there's some attraction between you.
You and I are close.
We tell each other our problems,
we hang out.
What are you trying to tell me?
This is different, and you know it.
Although, for the record,
you could do a lot worse than me.
Look, I think you wanna stop Beth
from moving to New York
because you don't wanna lose her.
If you have feelings for her,
it is well past time you told her,
and, if you don't, then just let her go.
Frank is a good catch
for someone Beth's age and height.
We are just friends. Okay?
Yeah, one is a woman,
the other is a ruggedly handsome man.
That's it. Okay?
I don't want her to settle.
She can do better than Frank.
Okay. If that's what you got
to tell yourself.
Hey, I would do the same thing for you.
I wouldn't want you to settle,
and if I knew you before you got married,
I would have warned your wife.
[singing "Aloha 'Oe"]
- Whoa! Yes.
- [all clapping]
That was beautiful, Bobby.
Listen to you. Right?
It's like a Hawaiian Michael McDonald.
Hey, I could play it again.
You missed the first bit.
Hold on. Kevin, you should take my seat.
I would stay and listen again,
but somebody turned Taco Tuesday
into Waffle Wednesday.
I gotta deal
with this whole thing right now.
It's a food situation.
I'd love to hear the song, but Jake and I,
we gotta go over your times on the sim.
I haven't done it yet.
I was gonna, but Bobby said not to.
Who needs a simulator?
I must've run Daytona 30 times.
200 laps, 30 races. You do the math.
I'd really rather not.
Well, you know what? I wish you could get
to the gym and put some time in.
- Yes, sir.
- [Kevin] Thank you.
Kevin has run it more recently
than I have. Tell him about '93.
We don't have time to do
All right, look.
Here it is. I'll give you the tent poles.
Courageous rookie driver
makes a promise to a young sick kid,
race of a lifetime,
tore a glute in Victory Lane
just like doing the Hammer dance.
I was like, "Ooh."
[chuckles]
No regrets. Zero regrets.
You wanna hit the gym now?
And, Amir, set the car up before we go.
[Amir] Sure.
Oh, man. When did you stop being fun?
I thought Catherine quit.
[sighs] Look, I'm still fun.
I'm just taking care of business.
You know?
I'm like a, uh, Flintstone vitamin.
Ooh. I gotta stop doing those analogies.
Guess who I talked to today.
Rob over at Big Hoof. He's interested
in coming back on as a sponsor.
- What about Fake Steak?
- I'm gonna cut them loose. It's inedible.
So is Pennzoil, but I'd put it
in my smoothie every morning
if they'd come on as a sponsor.
Face it.
You said it, they're better business.
We got along fine with Big Hoof.
Yeah, but, I gotta tell you,
I agree with Catherine on this one.
I mean, I was looking
at the books this morning, and…
we need the revenue.
- Are you going soft on me?
- [Kevin grunts]
We'll just fly
by the seat of the pants like always.
It'll work out. Trust me.
Promise me you don't make
any decisions right away, okay?
Kevin.
You're fighting the wave.
I'm trying to go with it.
Don't worry.
We'll take a beat and think about it.
All right. Well, thank you.
- We have both been through a lot.
- Yeah.
I know what'll cheer you up.
What?
[singing "Aloha 'Oe"]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Did we really spend seven grand
on hats last year?
Not hats. A hat.
Belonged to Tim McGraw.
Bobby thought it'd be lucky.
He bought it at an auction and wore it
on the way home in his convertible.
So, now somebody else has a lucky hat.
All right. Well, it's gotta stop. Okay?
Well, I hate to tell you,
but Bobby's probably in his office now
eyeing Blake Shelton's belt buckle.
[giggles]
That came out weird.
Well, he's gotta stop wasting money.
We hit one bad stretch
and we're out of business,
and right now
he's out there firing sponsors.
Come on. It's the Bobby Show.
He's always been like this.
Well, I just wish
he was more focused on business.
Like Catherine was?
You shut your stupid mouth.
- [giggles]
- [cell phone ringing]
- If you need to get it, go ahead.
- It's just Frank.
Oh. Look,
about our conversation yesterday.
Sorry I snapped at you.
No, no, no. I'm sorry. You know, Frank
He's a good guy,
and I just feel guilty
that maybe you're dumping him
because I told you to, and
Well, I stopped taking your advice
after you convinced me
that rum was the perfect hangover cure.
Yeah, a splash in your coffee.
Not out of a goblet like a Viking.
It wasn't right for me.
I made the right decision.
I feel good.
- You do?
- [Beth] Yeah.
In that way where you cry all night
and watch The Notebook and think,
"Life would be better if I had dementia
and died in my sleep."
Been there, sister.
You know what my cry all night movie is?
Top Gun.
Oh, when Maverick has
to tell Goose's wife that he's dead?
Stop. Goose was boring.
The real victim was Iceman.
All he wanted to do was follow the rules.
That's all he did
You know, since when is a soldier punished
for following the rules?
And at the end, when he looks
at Maverick in the eye and he's like,
[voice breaking] "You can
You can be my wingman anytime."
Let's change the subject.
Kevin, my life is falling apart.
You're right. I'm sorry. Whew.
Oh, man, that's a
[Beth laughs]
Look, I promise you
we will find you the right guy. Okay?
Hey, have I ever introduced you
to Pete down at the barbershop?
Two-finger Pete?
He's got a middle and a pointer.
So, he's not your first choice
for a bowling team, but you know what?
You're ever in a car with him
and drop a fry between the seats,
he's gonna snatch it up
before it gets cold.
He's got It's a hook.
I think I can find someone.
Okay.
[ukulele strumming]
What the hell is that?
It's the Bobby Show.
[Bobby singing]
What are you doing?
Wait. Who is "Zombie Ostrich"?
Shh.
Catherine.
Did you steal a truck?
You don't bring it in during
business hours. Even I know that.
She didn't steal it.
But if you did, we got
to get the VIN numbers off it now.
No. I bought it.
- Can you get this thing in shape?
- I can fix anything.
Except for my relationship with my kids.
Okay.
It's a yes on the truck though, yeah?
- Huh?
- Yes on the truck?
Yeah. Yeah. Yes on the truck.
Why does Chuck need
to work on a race truck?
Well, me and Catherine talked and, uh…
[sighs] I think we came up
with a great idea.
It was mostly Kevin.
No, stop. You did all the heavy lifting.
Why are they being nice to each other?
I don't like this. It's like
when bears and monkeys are friends.
Like, what could they possibly talk about?
I don't know. Riding a bike in the circus?
Oh, yeah.
So, listen, Bobby, if you sign off,
we can start up a truck team,
which would give Jessie time to develop,
and we'll be running two cars
like the big boys.
I talked to the businesses
that wanted to work with Jessie,
and they're all willing
to sponsor a truck.
So, Jessie's back again?
Bobby's back, Bobby's gone.
Jessie's gone, Jessie's back.
Monkeys and bears are riding bicycles!
What is happening?
Hey, hey, hey. Take a breath. All right?
- She's in the truck. You're in the car.
- Oh. Okay.
- Can I see you for a second?
- No secrets here. What's up?
- I don't wanna say in front of everybody.
- Come on. We're family here.
You're playing that song too much.
Let's go in your office.
Glad you and Catherine are getting along.
- You got a smart daughter.
- I ignored a problem. It fixed itself.
Didn't work when I tried that
with my clogged arteries.
Yeah, what was that?
Your third heart attack.
That was a good one.
Man, you flatlined, and you woke up
talking about meeting Hank Williams.
I did. We had a picnic in heaven,
best potato salad I ever had.
They brought me back
right before he gave me the recipe.
Circle of life. Circle of life.
I don't know what turned you around
about Catherine, but thanks,
it's gonna be great having her around.
Oh, she's not coming back.
She helped me with the truck,
but that's it.
Why isn't she telling me?
Because I wanted to talk to you.
Look, Bobby, you and I, we're old school,
but if we wanna win again,
we need Catherine.
I offered,
but she won't stay as my number two.
Yeah, I know. I know.
What are you saying, chief?
I think you were right from the beginning.
- You're telling me to leave?
- [sighs]
Look, I owe you everything.
And if you wanna stay,
I will work with you
till this place comes crashing down.
But if we want this place to go on
long after we're both gone…
well…
you know what I think.
- I think you should go.
- I got that.
I didn't know, 'cause you…
were locked in a stare…
If you were reading that,
I should've pulled out quicker, sorry.
- Wanna grab dinner?
- What are you thinking?
- Let's get Chinese. It's your favorite.
- Sure.
But just don't get
that spicy kung pao chicken again.
It almost killed you.
Ooh. Yeah, that was a rough night.
It's just so good.
[laughs]
Frank, what are you doing?
I'm sorry to show up like this,
but you're not answering my calls,
and I need to talk to you.
I'm just gonna give you guys…
No. I've said what I need to say.
Beth, I screwed up.
I was so excited about my job
that I forgot about the one thing
that's more important.
It was wrong not to remember
how much this team means to you.
My favorite part of the week is on Monday
when you tell me about the race
and your face lights up and
And you take me through every turn,
your little arms pumping in the air.
I am a normal-sized human.
You're really not.
Look, if it's gonna cost our relationship,
then I will turn that job down,
or I will fly back every night
and every weekend to be with you.
I don't care, whatever you want
because I don't want to be without you.
I want to marry you.
Beth Paige…
will you be my wife?
Yes.
[theme music playing]