The Garfield Show (2008) s01e09 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
[man] Pine.
[Jon laughing]
-Weeping Willow.
-[buzzer sounds]
-[slide whistle blows]
-[Jon laughing with audience]
Uh [beep] Sycamore!
[slide whistle blows]
[laughing]
We'll return with more
of your favorite game show,
Say a Kind of Tree and We Hit You
with a Lemon Meringue Pie!
Jon always did have a taste for
the really serious intellectual program.
More of Say a Kind of Tree and We Hit You
with a Lemon Meringue Pie!
after these news headlines.
Today is the first day
of the city's new dog licensing law.
Any dog not wearing a license
will be presumed a stray
and taken to the dog pound.
I almost forgot. I got Odie a license
and I have to put it on him.
In other news,
traffic is stalled on the coast highway
due to an accident.
Workers said cars were blocked when
a collision knocked down a large elm tree.
[slide whistle blows]
[Odie] Huh?
I know you don't like it,
but if they catch you without it,
they'll haul you off to the pound.
-Oh, that would be just awful.
-[Odie howls]
No, even I'm not that rotten.
There. Now I'm going back
to my favorite show,
Say a Kind of Tree and We'll Hit You
with a Lemon Meringue Pie!
Just any sense of good taste.
[Odie grumbling]
Hope I'm not missing much.
[sighs] I gotta get down here
where I can just get some
That feels good.
[Odie yipping]
-No, I don't want to throw the stick.
-[Odie whines]
[Garfield snoring]
[yipping]
No, I don't want to throw the ball.
In fact, I want to throw
the ball even less
-than I wanted to throw the stick.
-[whining]
[yipping]
[chomp!]
[yipping]
[panting]
[Odie snarls, yips]
Bowwww!
Bowwww!
No, I don't want to throw the doggy toy.
As hard as it may be to believe,
I want to throw the doggy toy even less
than I wanted to throw
the stick or the ball.
-But you know what I do want to throw?
-[yips]
-[Garfield kicks]
-[Odie yelps]
[crash!]
You had to ask.
[sighs]
[panting]
[Odie humming]
[groans]
Ohh!
Odie's license came off.
He's out there where they grab dogs
that don't have licenses
and take them to the pound.
Not my problem.
There's another one. No license.
You won't get away from me, dog!
Ohh! Hey, watch it!
Hey!
[incoming projectile whistle]
[clang!]
[horn blares]
[Odie barking]
[yelps]
Sorry, pooch, but it's the law.
[whimpering]
[Odie howls]
-[sighs] I'm not asleep.
-[clock ticking]
Why can't I sleep?
It can't be because I feel guilty about
Odie out there without his dog license.
It's not my fault it fell off
when I threw him out the window.
So why can't I sleep?
If I can't sleep, I might as well eat.
-[Jon and audience laughing]
-This is hilarious!
[Jon laughing]
-[man] Douglas fir.
-Oh, he's good. [laughing]
-Maple.
-Oh, it hurts.
-Can't get my breath!
-[man] Mushroom omelet.
[host] Ooh! I'm sorry, Mr. Fazblatt
I checked with the judges
and they say "mushroom omelet"
is not the name of a tree so we cannot
hit you with a lemon meringue pie.
[corny background music playing]
But now it's time for our home game
where one lucky viewer will get to play
Say a Kind of Tree and We Hit You
with a Lemon Meringue Pie!
Home game? You mean someone
will be hit with a lemon meringue pie
just for saying
oh, I don't know, spruce?
[doorbell ringing]
I'll get it.
-Uh, yes?
-[slide whistle blows, pie splats]
Oh, great.
You finally won something and it's that?
[Jon] I'll get dinner on the table.
[slurps] Mmm.
You call Odie.
Oh, Odie?
Well, no Odie. Let's eat.
Where's Odie? I'm not serving dinner
until Odie is at the table.
But that's not fair. I'm here. I'm hungry.
I'm serious, Garfield.
No dinner until Odie is at the table.
And now go out and find him.
But I'm I'm
[Jon snarls]
I'm going to find him.
Odie?
Odie. Yoo-hoo.
Odie.
Odie.
Odie.
Attention, brainless mutt.
[mailman] If you're looking for your dog,
I saw him get taken off to the pound.
-[clang!]
-[thud!]
[Garfield] I was afraid of that.
[dogs howling and barking]
Well, this is it.
[howling and barking continue]
[dogs snarling]
I am actually walking into
a building full of dogs. Voluntarily.
Sorry, cat. You see that sign?
That means no cats allowed.
[clang!]
[child] Lookie, Mommy.
Someone threw away
a perfectly good pussycat.
Humph. They probably thought
he was too fat, dear.
Hey, you're not exactly
supermodel material yourself, lady!
-Ohh!
-[clang!]
All right.
I didn't want to resort to this,
but it may be the only way
to get this license back on Odie.
[electronic whirring]
Okay, let's see if I can pass for a dog.
[oink-like bark]
[panting]
Arf arf. Woof woof.
Nah. I don't look stupid enough.
How do dogs do this stupid stuff all day?
Bow-wow. Arf. Yip-yip-yip-yip.
Arf. Yip. Bark.
Isn't it a little late to be going out
looking for strays?
I need one more catch
to make my quota for today, Pete.
[Garfield] Ahem. Bark, bark.
Stray dog with no license.
Woof and double woof.
Ha! Gotcha!
You got me.
Okay, doggy. In here with you.
[Garfield] Hmm?
[Odie whines]
-Your situation is not hopeless, Odie.
-Huh?
By day,
he looks like an ordinary brainless,
"too dumb to do anything useful" dog.
But then, when there's trouble,
he instantly transforms himself into
Super Garfield, Garfield,
Garfield, Garfield
[Odie yips]
[slurping]
Whoa! Hey, stop!
Put that tongue back where you found it.
Stop! Stop or I'll leave you here, Odie.
Better. Now then,
you'll need this to get out.
[barks]
[yipping]
How will I get out? Leave it to me.
First, you make some noise.
Yeah! [barks]
[snarling and barking]
Hey! Hey! Hey!
What's all the racket? What's?
[barking]
Hey, he has a license on.
Let me get a better look at that.
"Jon Arbuckle," and there's an address.
I was sure you didn't have one
when I picked youse up.
I'd better get you back to Mr. Arbuckle
right away and apologize.
Let me out!
I shouldn't be in here.
Hello!
-[door slams]
-Meow, meow, meow!
See you laters, Al!
Meow! Meow, meow!
-Meow!
-[Pete] A cat?
How did a cat get in here?
You shouldn't be in here, cat.
-True. Open the door and let me out.
-I'm gonna open the door and let you out.
Just as soon as Al gets back.
He has the only key.
Hey, you can't leave me in here
like some dog.
-I'm not a dog.
-[dog yips]
Dogs are ugly.
Dogs are disgusting,
stupid, worthless creatures.
They're idiots.
[dogs barking, snarling]
Dogs are all over the place.
They're all around me. They're
I didn't mean what I said.
I was talking about other dogs.
You know, I love dogs.
In fact, I am a dog.
See? A dog.
-[clang!]
-[dogs barking]
[Garfield] Bow-wow. Ruff. Ruff-ruff.
[sniffing]
You're not buying this, are you?
-[dogs snarling]
-Look!
I would like to take this opportunity
to make a sincere apology.
I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Arbuckle.
Oh, that's okay.
Thanks for bringing my dog home.
So that's where you were, Odie.
Which brings us to the next question.
Where's Garfield?
[yipping]
Yeah, knowing him, he's probably out
somewhere having a wonderful time.
Ouch! Help!
Help!
[dogs barking]
Help!
Get me out of here!
[Jon] Garfield, Odie, I'm home!
[Odie yipping]
Whoa! Easy, boy.
[sighs] Listen to him.
Don't dogs have any dignity?
-[Jon] I've got a surprise for you guys.
-A surprise? What sort of surprise?
Meow, meow, meow. Meow.
The things I wouldn't do for a present.
It'd better be worth it.
I thought you could do with a little
grooming before your monthly check-up.
I humiliated myself for a grooming tool?
-Who wants to try it first? Garfield?
-[Odie whimpers]
You try it.
No one touches this fur
but my hairdresser.
[Odie yipping]
Odie? Good boy. Come over here.
[Odie sighing]
[telephone rings]
Uh, hang on, Odie.
[ring]
[ring]
Oh, hi, Liz. Lunch tomorrow?
Sure, love to.
[Odie] Huh?
[yipping, barking]
[romantic orchestra playing]
Odie.
Odie, yoo-hoo.
Odie.
I'm bored. All that fuss
over a mere brush.
[silly TV music playing]
[remote clicks]
Whoa!
-[crunch]
-[Odie whimpers]
You are a sad, strange little dog, Odie.
Hey, Odie,
wanna play "kick the dog" with me?
[Odie yelps]
[slurps]
What do you mean
you'd rather spend time with her?
It's just a stupid brush.
This is a new low, even for you, Odie.
If you break up with the brush,
I've got some nice nail clippers for you.
[chuckling]
[funky soundtrack playing]
[dog barking]
[pop!]
[dog whimpers]
Hey, guys, what's up?
Huh?
Do me a favor and drop that stupid brush
before they see you.
I refuse to be the laughing stock
of the entire neighborhood.
Hi, Garfield. Hi, Odie.
[Odie yips]
Hey, Odie, is that a brush you're holding?
[Odie sighing]
-[Odie slurps]
-Yecch!
More like an imaginary girlfriend.
[Arlene] Look who's talking.
Remind me why you always carry
that teddy bear everywhere?
I don't know what you're talking about.
[Odie sighing]
[romantic orchestra playing]
Oh, that is just so cute!
I have got to do something
about that brush.
[thunder crashes]
[snoring]
[Garfield] Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo.
-[thunder crashes]
-[Odie yips]
[Odie snoring]
[laughing maniacally]
[laughing]
-[thunder crashing]
-[Garfield laughing maniacally]
[clang!]
There's only room for two pets
in this house.
And imaginary or not, you're out!
-[hinges creak]
-[lid slams]
[ringing]
[whimpers]
[yipping softly]
[sniffing]
-[gasps]
-[barks]
[yowls]
Dogs have the attention span
of a goldfish.
Give it an hour and he won't
remember that brush, trust me.
-[watch ticking]
-Shoot, I'm late. Liz is gonna kill me!
[thud!]
Ohh! [groans]
Odie? Odie, what on earth are you doing?
[Odie whining]
-Odie, stop it! Bad dog! Bad dog!
-[Odie yipping]
[phone rings]
Liz? Of course I didn't forget our brunch.
Yep. I'm on my way!
You don't happen to know
a good gardener, do you?
[howling]
[howling]
All that fuss for a stupid brush.
This is ridic-o-lous.
And you don't have anything to do
with the brush's disappearance, do you?
[gasps] How could you think
so badly of me?
[howling continues]
[sighs] Okay. I did it.
I got rid of that stupid brush.
And I was doing Odie a favor.
Oh, please. Save it for the jury.
You did it because you were jealous
Odie cared about someone else.
Someone else?
We're talking about a brush, aren't we?
For Odie, it was much more
than just a brush.
And you knew that, too.
[howling]
Ehh, he'll get over it.
[howling continues]
[rooster crows]
[Odie sobbing and howling]
[Odie howling]
We're gonna need more coffee.
How about earplugs?
[crash!]
Not funny. Where's my breakfast lasagna?
Sorry, Garfield.
I feel way too tired to cook you anything.
Okay. Sleep deprivation,
I can actually deal with.
But lasagna deprivation?
That is just flat out intolerable.
I got to fix this mess.
[snoring]
[crash!]
I'm sorry, ma'am
[Jon snoring]
[straining]
A brush. It has bristles and a handle.
Purr-fect!
Odie will never know the difference.
[howling]
Oh, my. Odie, look who's back.
[yipping, sniffing]
Humph!
[Odie sobbing]
Well, that dog isn't brain-dead after all.
Who would have thought?
[howling]
Okay, fine. You won.
I'll take you to your girlfriend.
[yipping]
This is where the cruel deed was done.
Yaaah!
Oopsy-doopsy.
[truck engine starts]
[howls]
Odie, wait!
[horn honking]
I'm gonna lose one of my nine lives
just for a stupid brush.
Sorry, kid. This is an emergency.
-Hey!
-I'll bring it back, I promise!
Welcome aboard and fasten your seatbelt.
We're in for one bumpy ride.
[Garfield screams]
[screams]
I don't wanna be just another
greasy spot on Main Street!
[screaming]
[Odie yipping]
That was close
[Garfield shrieks]
[truck beeping]
Yecch! Barf!
-[Odie yips]
-[Garfield gasps]
[trash clanging]
[Odie yelping]
Odie! Odie, come back! Bad dog! Bad!
[flies buzzing]
It can't get any worse, can it?
Oh.
[Garfield shrieks]
[Odie yips]
Odie, watch out!
-[clang!]
-[Garfield screams]
[gears whirring]
Oh! Whew!
-[screams]
-[clang!]
I'm too young to be recycled!
[blades clanging]
Help!
[balls pounding]
[toy horn squeaks]
-Yaaah!
-[slam!]
[clang!]
Yaaaah!
[screams]
-[clang!]
-[birds chirping]
Oww!
-[gears creaking]
-[Garfield] Now what?
[Garfield screaming]
No, stop.
[screaming]
Happy? Now let's get out of here.
[Garfield] Ahem.
There you are.
I've been looking for you all over.
Eww! Gross.
You two smell as if you just crawled out
of a garbage disposal.
-[Garfield] Hmm.
-[Odie] Mm-hmm.
I can't smell a thing.
What about you, Odie?
Odie?
[romantic orchestra resumes]
-[bells chiming]
-[Odie sighing]
[clang!]
Uh are you free this evening?
How about dinner?