The Guild (2007) s01e09 Episode Script
Owning Bladezz
Small problem with our escape plan: There are bars on my window that don't open.
Yeah, that was inconvenient.
And dangerous if there's ever a fire.
But we opened the heating vent, and we got out through the crawl space.
Yeah, I'm kidding.
We just walked out the back door.
I know! I don't know I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I don't, um I just couldn't let Bladezz destroy the Guild.
I mean, you know, this is all I have in the world right now.
God, I can't believe I just said that.
Codex better come through.
I want to get back on a regular gaming schedule.
All this walking around is making my back hurt.
Hi! Never again.
Did you guys have fun with Auntie Tink? Now go play while Mommy lunches.
We got the goods.
Zaboo's cyber-stalking skills came in handy.
For once.
Well, when I put my mind to something, I accomplish it.
Yeah, except kill yourself.
I mean, I could have.
Okay? Let me guess.
Brazilian with a landing strip.
At least I have something to wax.
Bladezz, sit.
We have a proposal.
First, I gotta see the lady nips.
Excuse me? Oh.
I told him if he showed up, you'd flash him your boobs.
Why would you say that? 'Cause I needed a reason.
I'm not gonna show him mine.
Hello! What about me? These aren't hams I'm smugglin'.
I'd like the original recipe, thank you.
It's okay.
I'm fine with it.
No! No! No way! God.
- No flash, no cash.
- Bladezz! Nipple negotiations aside, we'd like to offer you a chance to apologize, return the Guild Bank, and take down that video! Don't corpse-camp that idea.
It'll never rez.
We thought you'd say that.
Or something to that effect.
So Zaboo and I drove around and got every copy of this we could find.
OMG! Oh Look at the little chef hat! Nice sausage.
How did you guys find this? Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
Codex helped me break up with my mom, and then I trashed her bathroom with tears and poo and stuff, so Kinda owed her one.
Right.
Zaboo has an auto-search set up on everyone he meets, really.
That's how he recognized you yesterday.
And got my pap smear results.
She's clean.
Well, I gotta check the hygiene before I hit it! I said I was sorry.
His file on you contained your modeling alias, Finn Smulders, which led us to this juicy photo in the Sunday newspaper.
What the hell kind of name is "Finn Smulders"? My mom forced me into modeling to pay for college.
I'm not gonna use my real name.
From your online portfolio.
These could all be faxed to the school newspaper.
That's a recipe for locker rape.
What'll it be? Repent or rape? Fine.
You guys win.
I'll send the bank back to Vork and G-quit when I get home.
I can't believe you newbs owned me! Gratz! This was a a real-life teabag.
I can't believe I did that, you guys! I feel like I could puke.
Yay! We kicked the retarded cousin! Honestly, I do not feel good about this kill.
Well, we saved the Guild.
Isn't that what we wanted? Yes! Totally just beat Mario.
What? What? You're right, Codex.
We can't worry about crushing souls in the name of justice.
If we leave immediately, we can still make our 2:00 p.
m.
Raid.
Oh, my God! She's here.
Okay.
Clearly, that wasn't a microchip that I pulled out of my ear earlier.
So, I'm gonna go.
Let me out.
Let me out.
No.
No! Zaboo, we just won one fight.
We can win another.
Guys, the Guild has to help Zaboo take down the scariest boss of all time.
Yeah, that was inconvenient.
And dangerous if there's ever a fire.
But we opened the heating vent, and we got out through the crawl space.
Yeah, I'm kidding.
We just walked out the back door.
I know! I don't know I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I don't, um I just couldn't let Bladezz destroy the Guild.
I mean, you know, this is all I have in the world right now.
God, I can't believe I just said that.
Codex better come through.
I want to get back on a regular gaming schedule.
All this walking around is making my back hurt.
Hi! Never again.
Did you guys have fun with Auntie Tink? Now go play while Mommy lunches.
We got the goods.
Zaboo's cyber-stalking skills came in handy.
For once.
Well, when I put my mind to something, I accomplish it.
Yeah, except kill yourself.
I mean, I could have.
Okay? Let me guess.
Brazilian with a landing strip.
At least I have something to wax.
Bladezz, sit.
We have a proposal.
First, I gotta see the lady nips.
Excuse me? Oh.
I told him if he showed up, you'd flash him your boobs.
Why would you say that? 'Cause I needed a reason.
I'm not gonna show him mine.
Hello! What about me? These aren't hams I'm smugglin'.
I'd like the original recipe, thank you.
It's okay.
I'm fine with it.
No! No! No way! God.
- No flash, no cash.
- Bladezz! Nipple negotiations aside, we'd like to offer you a chance to apologize, return the Guild Bank, and take down that video! Don't corpse-camp that idea.
It'll never rez.
We thought you'd say that.
Or something to that effect.
So Zaboo and I drove around and got every copy of this we could find.
OMG! Oh Look at the little chef hat! Nice sausage.
How did you guys find this? Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
Codex helped me break up with my mom, and then I trashed her bathroom with tears and poo and stuff, so Kinda owed her one.
Right.
Zaboo has an auto-search set up on everyone he meets, really.
That's how he recognized you yesterday.
And got my pap smear results.
She's clean.
Well, I gotta check the hygiene before I hit it! I said I was sorry.
His file on you contained your modeling alias, Finn Smulders, which led us to this juicy photo in the Sunday newspaper.
What the hell kind of name is "Finn Smulders"? My mom forced me into modeling to pay for college.
I'm not gonna use my real name.
From your online portfolio.
These could all be faxed to the school newspaper.
That's a recipe for locker rape.
What'll it be? Repent or rape? Fine.
You guys win.
I'll send the bank back to Vork and G-quit when I get home.
I can't believe you newbs owned me! Gratz! This was a a real-life teabag.
I can't believe I did that, you guys! I feel like I could puke.
Yay! We kicked the retarded cousin! Honestly, I do not feel good about this kill.
Well, we saved the Guild.
Isn't that what we wanted? Yes! Totally just beat Mario.
What? What? You're right, Codex.
We can't worry about crushing souls in the name of justice.
If we leave immediately, we can still make our 2:00 p.
m.
Raid.
Oh, my God! She's here.
Okay.
Clearly, that wasn't a microchip that I pulled out of my ear earlier.
So, I'm gonna go.
Let me out.
Let me out.
No.
No! Zaboo, we just won one fight.
We can win another.
Guys, the Guild has to help Zaboo take down the scariest boss of all time.