The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e09 Episode Script

Frankie, you're starring in your school play.
Aren't you nervous? No, because mom here's a great Director.
And unlike most of my compliments, I don't even mean that sarcastically.
Aw.
Back in New York, I wrote and directed several of Frankie's school plays.
I guess I was the obvious choice having grown up in the theater.
You were a child actor? No, I lived in a theater.
Dad thought he could convert it to a cool house.
He could not.
But we were thrilled when Frankie's new school agreed to do my latest work Monsters In Your Mouth.
Well, I'm not exactly into horror, but I think Frankie's gonna make a great mummy.
Oh, she's not a mummy.
It's a play about oral hygiene.
Meet Detective Dental Floss, the number one cavity cop on the force.
Hey, cool mummy costume.
She's not a mummy.
It's a play about oral Ah, never mind.
Hey, Taylor, can I count on you and Miles to help out in the bakery while I work on the play? You're my mother.
Of course I'd love to help.
- Aw.
- I get to keep all the tips, right? Tay needs a new pair of boots.
That's my girl.
Speaking of tips, I've got a list of ideas which I really think could boost business.
- Hmm.
- Drink this in Banana bread.
Yeah.
So our new Baker Clem will be there to supervise if you need anything.
As for me, it is back to the rewrite.
Ah, the pen.
My greatest enemy, my dearest friend.
This is so fun! I'm so loving this.
I'm so hating this.
But you just said you I'm an actor, Miles.
Try to keep up.
I thought you liked doing mom's plays.
I tolerate them because it makes her happy.
But how do I put this in a nice way? This play is garbage! I'm going to humiliate myself in front of the whole school.
Well, you can't quit.
It'd break her heart.
Look, just tell Michelle how you honestly feel.
She'll understand.
Yes, Miles.
That'd certainly be the honorable thing to do.
- See? - You're gonna fake an injury.
Aren't you? Oh, yeah.
Oh, my toe.
The pain.
Wait a minute.
You hurt your toe when you missed my poetry slam.
That time was real.
Oh.
If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
Oh, yeah.
Ponies vs.
Robots 4! This is the sickest video game ever.
Giddyup, Daffodil.
Whoa.
Cool lasers.
I want to play.
Okay, "A" not happening.
"B" What, are you afraid I'm gonna wipe out all your high scores again? I fear no female.
Aah! Ray, thanks so much for volunteering to write a musical number for Monsters In Your Mouth.
- Danke.
- Happy to help.
As a professional musician, it shouldn't be hard.
And as a professional, you're used to getting notes, right? - I suppose I - Good.
Your music tends to be more Skoodily doodily bop bop bop.
I need a more Broadway sound, like I'm walking, I'm talking.
And I'm singing my song.
Yeah, because skoodily doo sounds stupid.
How's my little star's toe? I'll be fine.
Well, time to rehearse.
Aah! Searing, undeniable Pain! Oh, no, you don't.
You're hurt.
No play for you.
But I made a commitment to the theater.
Mm, sorry.
We'll just have to find a replacement mummy.
- Detective.
- I knew that.
Ray, remember when you said you wished you could get Louie out of the house and away from all his video games? - I don't remember saying - Well, you did.
And I think it's a great idea for Louie to replace me in the play.
Excuse me? He's heard me run lines, so he knows the dialogue.
You're a genius, Ray.
He has been playing a lot of Ponies vs.
Robots lately.
But people can't see Louie.
He's a ghost.
He can possess the costume.
And ghosts can project their voices whenever we want to.
I'd like to be heard right now.
I don't wanna! Directing a ghost would be a challenge.
And theater is all about meeting challenges.
I'll do it! But the ponies and the robots! Have fun.
Miles, your "muffin on a stick" idea is killing it.
I've already got twice as many tips as usual.
You are brilliant.
Aw, thanks, Taylor.
I've got a whole binder full of ideas.
Want to hear my next one? - Sure! - Tuck in your shirt.
Excuse me? Appearances are important to the success of a business.
The way you look reflects on all of us.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh, and the hairnet I left out for you? Take a hint.
All right, Miles.
Slow down.
You're not the boss here.
- Clem is.
- Hey, yo, Taylor.
FYI, I'm gonna be in the kitchen trying a new pie recipe.
If I could just find the darn flour.
Well, Clem, have you checked the huge bag on your shoulder labeled "flour"? No But I'm gonna.
Wow.
Cast and crew! I have some distressing news But I won't dance around the tooth.
So using that.
Because of an injury, we need to replace Frankie with a new Detective Floss.
So playing the part of our star will now be none other tha Yes! Yes! In your face, world! My time has come, baby! It's not me, is it? No.
Detective Floss will now be played by our new exchange student, Louie.
All right, let's get this over with.
Okay, places, people! So far, so good.
No one suspects anything.
And Action! Look at the size of this cavity! What kind of lowlife germ would attack an innocent tooth like this? Any ideas, Ginger Vitus? Nice try, Floss, but I have an alibi.
Pretty dame.
But I think she's giving me the brush-off.
Really? I'll find out who did this.
Because if not me, who? Who? Louie, that was amazing.
You're way better than Frankie.
Will you speak at my Bar Mitzvah? Thank you so much.
Come back and see us again.
Ah, much better, Taylor.
You were polite, you smiled, you gave back the correct change.
Those are the positives.
Now let's discuss areas of improvement.
Item one Ahem, your posture.
Miles, you've been criticizing me all day.
Um, my attention to detail is the reason why this tip jar is almost full.
No, that tip jar is almost full because I'm the only one actually doing anything.
So stop acting like you're in charge.
Oh, wake up.
We both know I'm running this rodeo.
Hey, I need some feedback on a song I've been working on for Michelle's play.
What's going on? Business is booming, thanks to me.
Miles puts a muffin on a stick and thinks he's the boss.
I thought the new guy Clem was the boss.
This rolling pin is amazing! That's a fire extinguisher, Clem.
Aw, you almost had me, Taylor.
Wow.
Look, isn't it possible you're both the reason the bakery is doing so great? No.
Look.
When it comes to organization, I'm the real deal.
Dad, you remember that filing contest where I took home the blue ribbon? Yes, I do, son.
It's too bad we don't each have our own bakery.
Then we could see who's responsible for filling that tip jar.
That's not a bad idea.
And you know what? Problem solved.
Now you each have your own workspace.
But I bet you'll find that you can do more together than you can apart.
That's genius, Ray.
Oh, Miles, looks like a customer on your half needs some service.
Oh, you'll have to help me.
Might look weird if a ghost waited on her.
Sorry, I don't work on that side anymore.
Yikes.
Oh, so we're playing it that way? Wait, what about my song? Floss.
I wanna clean forever.
I wanna keep your breath fresh.
Floss.
I come in mint or unscented.
Baby, remember my name.
Remember, remember, remember, re Remember? Take that, robots! And another Louie high score goes bye-bye.
Looks like someone's toe is better.
I'm playing through the pain.
So how'd rehearsal go? Torture, huh? Actually Pizza party in honor of Louie! A what party in honor of who now? Don't get me wrong.
We missed you terribly, Sweetie.
But today, Louie reminded me why I write, why I create.
It's true.
I did.
I love your commitment of never taking off the costume.
Oh, like you and your ears.
What are you saying? All right, everybody.
Come get food.
This is just like the pizza party your mom threw you.
Oh, wait.
That never happened! - Excuse me, Louie? - Yeah, Sweets? The cast knows how you like to unwind with video games, so we pooled our money and got you this.
Ponies vs.
Robots 5? That's limited edition! How kind.
I'll treasure it.
Now go.
Grab yourself some 'za.
You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Like you wouldn't believe.
Mom, it's a miracle.
My toe's all better.
- Now I can have my part back.
- No, Frankie.
Your foot needs to rest.
I agree, Michelle.
Poor Frankie.
Or as we say in the theater "Loser!" It's been a while since I composed an original tune, and I was struggling.
- Hmm.
- But this This is a closing number.
Floss, floss, floss your teeth.
Gently on the gum.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily.
Cleaning teeth is fun.
You sicken me.
You're off the project.
What? This is gold, baby! Gold! I feel a slight chill.
Can somebody be a lamb and bring me my robe? Oh, puke.
Honey, what are you doing here? - Just wanted to show support.
- Aw.
- Louie looks like he's become a handful.
- Mm.
Worth the journey.
He teaches me something new every day.
Is this thing on? Let's take five, everyone.
Okay, Louie.
This ends now.
I'm supposed to be the star of this play.
And yet you're not.
Okay, funny guy.
Are you gonna give me my role back or not? I'll give you a hint.
My answer rhymes with no.
It's no.
Fine.
Then I'm gonna take it back.
Attention, drama dorks, Louie is not who you think he is.
Check this out.
Frankie, cut it out! Whoa, I can't believe it! He's a great actor and a magician! Are you kidding me? Nice try.
But the people love me.
Floss-ta la vista, baby.
Miles, my bakery is so gonna kick your bakery's butt.
You know, it isn't really a fair competition since customers can't even see you.
Which is why I spent all morning Working on this! The Miles-o-pies 3000! Now added with bow tie.
Are you serious with this? I fully automated the entire pie-delivering process.
Also, his arms squirt Whipped cream and chocolate syrup.
But I like your little pastry pyramid thing That took thought too.
Hey, everything going okay in here? Great.
I just divided the bakery in half and added a robot.
Oh, okeydokey.
Welcome.
The Miles-o-pies 3000 is ready to serve you today.
Or you can come over here and be served by a friendly staffer who doesn't have to be plugged in.
Please note the pastry pyramid.
I'm going with the robot.
Okay.
So you got lucky one time.
Finally, a customer! Hi, there.
What can I get you today? A toilet.
It's in the back.
Love the pyramid.
Opening night.
This is so humbling.
Take these roses and throw them at me when I bow.
So, son, we just wanted to come back and say break a leg.
But not a toe, because then you'll lose your part.
Am I right, Frankie? She knows what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry, what scene is your original song in again? I'm gonna go find my seat.
Louie, when you came to me, you were a frightened, timid caterpillar.
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
But now I've turned you into a talented butterfly ready to soar.
Fly, tiny actor.
Fly.
Okay.
Best of luck.
Hope you get any surprises out there onstage.
Get that stupid brush out of here.
He's contaminating my crime scene.
I don't use the word "masterpiece" a lot.
Of all my masterpieces, this is my most master Pieciest.
Shh, shh, shh.
Let's watch.
Detective, have you figured out who caused this cavity crime? And if so, can you tell us in a song? I have, and I will.
Give me a beat! Wait! Everybody, freeze.
- Frankie? - Frankie? Who's Frankie? I'm the new Detective who's taking over this case.
You're a Christmas Tree.
Not a lot of options in the costume room.
It was either this or the Statue of Liberty.
What is happening? Okay, Detective.
I'll take it from here.
You're off the case.
Now give me the badge! No way! This is my crime scene.
Oh! How's business on your half? Doesn't look too good.
I have a feeling it's about to pick up.
Oh, Clem? Clem here has graciously offered to play the bagpipes for you all.
This instrument comes with a dress.
- Clem can play bagpipes? - Nope.
Which is why he's gonna do it on your side of the bakery.
- Take it away, Clem.
- Oh, right on.
It's my first concert.
Welcome, all.
Free set of earplugs with every pie purchase.
Nice try, Tay.
Bagpipe camp.
Two summers.
I am rocking this.
All right.
Attention, customers! Buy one pie, get one free.
What? You can't undersell me! Buy no pie, get one free! What? No fair! What? Sorry.
I can't hear you above all the ringing of the cash register! Which I'm only doing sound effects because I'm giving away all the pies.
You like free pies so much? Have some more, robot man.
My baby.
Oh, it's on.
Oh! Aah! Ginger Vitus, I know it was you who caused this cavity, so confess to me! No, confess to me, Ginger Vitus! Don't listen to her.
She's just an insane tree.
What's she doing in a mouth anyway? I'm so confused.
Stop it, both of you! For it is I Inspector Liberty.
I got to start coming to the theater more often.
Christmas Tree, you are not supposed to be here.
But this was supposed to be my case.
But then it became my case when you hurt yourself.
- Or pretended to.
- Pretended to? What does Detective Floss mean by "pretended to"? I thought this play or case was gonna be a dud.
I'm sorry.
I think the three of us need to discuss this back at headquarters.
Wait, wait, wait.
When am I going to confess? You just did, Ginger.
You just did.
Book her, toothpaste.
Frankie, if you didn't want to do the play, you should've just told me.
I know.
I was wrong.
And then Louie was so much better than me in the play, I got jealous.
Well, now you know how it feels.
What are you talking about? Why do you think I don't want you playing my video games? You always crush my high score.
It's not fun.
Sorry I made you feel bad.
Sorry my talents made you feel inadequate.
I am so proud of you two.
But I'm not taking a hit for this stinker.
You're on your own.
They liked me! What the heck happened here? We found out who the better manager was.
Yeah.
Neither of us.
What about the guy your mom hired? You were supposed to be supervised.
Yo, T.
Any idea how to get a sneaker out of a toaster? Makes sense now.