The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970) s01e09 Episode Script

How will you make it on your own This world is awfully big And, girl this time you're all alone But it's time you started living It's time you let someone else do some giving Love is all around No need to waste it You can have the town Why don't you take it You might just make it After all You might just make it after all Mary! - Yes, Mr.
Grant? - Where are you going? It's 7:30.
The show's been over for a half hour.
I don't have anything to do, so I thought I'd go home.
In a little while.
- Fill out that form and send it in tonight.
- For the Emmys? Nah.
The television editors, every single year since last year, give out something called the Teddy.
Television editors, Teddy.
Cute, right? So fill out the best available candidates we have in each news category.
By tonight? A person I know at WCCO had to do this.
It took her days.
That's because WCCO has a lot of good things to choose between.
In case you haven't noticed, we don't have that kind of problem.
- [Phone Ringing.]
- That should take you about three minutes.
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah? She's here, but she can't come to the phone.
- Why can't I come to the phone? - 'Cause she's in conference.
Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.
- Am I too busy to ask who that was? - That was your friend Rhoda.
She said it wasn't important, but to call the second you get home because it's important.
- You understand that? - Yeah, not that important.
- Come on.
I'll give you a lift.
- Thanks, Murray, but I gotta stay and fill in these forms for the Teddy Awards.
The Teddys? Don't tell me it's been a year already.
I'll help you.
Teddys? Did I hear someone mention the Teddys? Here comes Mr.
Award-Happy.
Every year when they announce who won the Nobel prize, he's disappointed.
The best local news program? Isn't her loyalty touching? She's writing us in.
Best male personality? Only one of those three words comes close to describing you.
It isn't "best," and it's certainly not "personality.
" I don't have to sit here and take that.
Ted, look.
"Best male personality: Ted Baxter.
" - You won't be sorry.
- Best newswriting.
Which story of mine should we write in? How about that story you did about that large thingamajig somebody found, and he took it to the police no, he took it to his mother and then they did something with it? Yeah.
Who could forget that one? I think my reporting on the flood was better.
- Let's see.
We're gonna need a title.
- Uh, how about "Flood Story"? - Ah! - Flood? What flood? Think back.
Remember the day you had to row to work? Oh, that flood.
There it is.
- "Best newscaster and" - [Together.]
"Best TV personality.
" Well, I guess there's nothing left for me, - so, uh, good night, all.
- Good night.
- You finished yet? - Uh, yes, just about.
So, good night, all.
- [Mary.]
Good night, Ted.
- [Lou.]
Good night.
Mar, best TV personality.
Well, that about does it.
How come you haven't filled in best public affairs program? - How about our Sunday News Conference? - Well, that's my show.
- So? - You really think it's good enough to win an award? No, but I think it's the only one we got.
Put it down.
Mr.
Grant, I feel silly.
I mean, I just can't write in my own show.
[Chuckling.]
- Okay, don't, then.
- Would you do it for me? How come you didn't call me the second you got home? This is the second I got home.
Mary, it happened.
It? The big it? - Yeah, I'm engaged.
- No! You're right, I'm not engaged, but he's closin' in.
- Who? - His name is Bob Peterson.
We met in my speed-reading class.
He's perfect.
Green eyes and 1,700 words a minute.
It's for real.
Oh, Rhoda! I love this.
Good news and the girlfriends hug.
Let me help you, Mar.
Ah, when you're in love, you suddenly feel like doing mad things, like putting groceries away.
- You wanna hear what he said? - Yeah.
"I want you to know I'm getting serious about you, Rhoda.
" And they gave the Pulitzer prize to Arthur Miller.
Speaking of the Pulitzer prize, I've got good news too.
- My show got nominated - You gonna be home tonight? - for the Yeah, I guess so.
- Good.
I want to get an outside opinion on Bob.
If I was back in New York, I'd bring him home to my mother, which would be a major mistake.
- So would you like to be my mother? - Okay, but don't be too late.
Perfect! Eh.
I gotta go get ready.
[Door Buzzer.]
[Knock At Door, Door Buzzer.]
- Who is it? - It's me Rhoda and Bob.
You're not asleep yet, are ya? No.
No, uh, I wasn't asleep.
Not at all.
I was just, uh Be right there.
[Chuckles.]
- Hi there! - Mary, this is Bob.
B-O-B.
Bob? - Oh! Bob.
Hi, Bob.
- Hi.
Hi.
Did we wake you up? Did we? I told you 2:00 is too late.
- I think we'd better go.
- No, no, you didn't wake me up.
I was just watching a book.
Listen.
Please, uh, do come in.
And here, let me take your coats.
Oh, the reason the bed looks like this is, uh, I didn't make it this morning.
She's a messy housekeeper.
Hey, hey! I'll do it.
I'm very good at this.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
There we go.
[Grunts.]
- Well.
- [Sighs.]
Well, this is Bob.
Doesn't he look terrific? Yes, terrific.
Just terrific.
You both, you look terrific.
Everyone here looks terrific except me.
If you look this terrific in the middle of the night, I can imagine what you look like in the middle of the day.
She looks great anytime night, day, morning.
You should see me in the morning.
Yech! Good one, Rhoda.
Tell him how yechy you look in the morning.
How about this girl? Is she like this all the time? She gets even better.
Oh, my, I've had such a nice day.
- How about you, Bob? Did you have a nice day? - I had a terrific day.
- How about you, Mar? - Huh? It's a little, um, early to tell yet, you know? - I did, um, have a nice day yesterday, however.
- Oh, yeah? What happened? My show got nominated for a Teddy.
- No kidding? That's terrific.
- Congratulations.
Well, no, it wasn't really nominated.
It's just It's been, uh, nominated to be nominated.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Coffee.
Coffee.
That's what we need, is a little coffee.
Well, what do you think of that Mary? Isn't she terrific? Yeah, she's lovely.
Just lovely.
Lovely.
- One's enough.
- Huh? Listen, I'm gonna go find out how you're doing.
Wait here.
What do you think? Rhoda, when you said you had an early date, I didn't think you meant early as in early in the morning.
I told you we'd be by tonight.
lfigured you might be worried and waiting up.
Worried? I don't know, maybe I'm a bad mother, but I wasn't worried and I wasn't waiting up.
Well, anyway, what do you think about him, huh? - He's nice.
- Yeah? - Really nice.
- Uh-huh? Unusually nice.
Unique in his niceness.
Mary, do you really think so? Rhoda, I don't know.
I just met him.
He's nice.
Bob, would you excuse me just a minute? Sure.
- What did she say? - She thinks you're nice.
- Is that what she said? [Chuckles.]
- Yeah, nice.
It turns out she wasn't reading a book.
I think we'd better split.
You know what would be a good idea? Ask her to go out with us tomorrow.
- Make it up to her for barging in.
- You know something? - You are nice.
- Yeah.
Hey, Mary? I'll be out in a second.
I was wondering well, Rhoda and l do you like basketball? Uh, yeah.
It's okay, I guess.
Great.
We'll pick you up tomorrow night at 7:30, sharp.
- Come on.
Let's go.
- Good night, Mar.
- See you tomorrow, kid.
- Uh, what'd you say? Did you say something, Rhoda? Bob? I'm gonna kill her.
I have no use for the nominating committee of the Teddy Awards.
- Didn't any of us get nominated? - Ha, all of you got nominated.
What? - You're kidding.
We all got nominated? - I hear the nominations are in.
Yes, l Ted, I got nominated.
I mean, I didn't, but my show did, but that's like me getting nominated, isn't it? - Get out of my way! - Yes.
- Mary, congratulations.
- Oh, Murray, you too.
- I only have three nominations? - Well, Ted, you were only up for three.
Oh.
Well, that's not so bad.
I should've been up for more, though, Mar.
- I know.
- Let's go to lunch and congratulate each other.
Oh, I would love to would I love to but I've gotta have lunch with Rhoda and her boyfriend.
We've been group-dating for a couple of weeks now.
- Everything's done in groups lately.
- Yeah.
Actually, we have pretty good times.
Bob calls us the Three Musketeers.
# Da da-da dum da-da # He likes to do that # Da-dum da-da # - He's really a lot of fun, only - Only what? Well, I don't know.
l It's just that sometimes I get the feeling that he - Oh, it's nothing.
- It's something.
Sometimes I get the feeling that Bob's - interested in me.
- Ah-ha! - Mar.
- Yes, Ted? It just occurred to me that I did do the weather forecast - for two weeks when Gordy was sick.
- Uh-huh.
- I was just wondering - No, it wouldn't qualify you for best weatherman.
Hmph! So you really think he is, huh? - Is what? - Dating Rhoda to be with you.
I didn't say that.
- [Murray.]
I know.
- Hi, Mary.
Ready for lunch? Oh, hi, Bob.
Um, Bob Peterson, - I'd like you to meet Murray Slaughter.
- Nice to meet you.
- Where's, uh, Rhoda? - One of her window displays is taking longer than she thought - You mean she's not gonna be having lunch with us? - That's right.
Looks like it'll be just us two Musketeers.
# Da-dum da-da # - # Da-da da-da # - # Da-da da-da # [Clicks Tongue.]
# Da-da da-da # - So you and Bob spent the entire lunch talking about me? - Mm-hmm.
- Like what about me? - Mm.
Why are you so hungry? You two did go to lunch, didn't you? Rhoda, that's being a little silly, and you know it.
- So you talked about Rhoda? Yeah? - Yeah! I told him that cute story about you when we took skiing lessons.
- Oh, yeah, the skiing - Right.
You were the cute one in the skiing story.
Rhoda you know, I think there's been a little too much group-dating lately.
- And you'd like me to bow out? Is that it? - Oh, come on! I know, I know.
Don't listen to me.
I'm crazy.
- Let's just change the subject.
- Good.
What's happening with that show of yours? Didn't I tell you? We got nominated.
We made it into the finals for the Teddy Awards.
- Oh, wonderful! - Yeah.
Isn't that great? Listen.
They're giving out the awards at a luncheon on Saturday.
- I've got a couple of tickets.
Why don't you go with me? - Oh, I'd love to.
[Phone Ringing.]
Hello.
Oh, hi, Bob.
[Chuckles.]
We were just talking about you.
I bet I know why you called me because you called Rhoda first, and she wasn't at home, and so you figured that she was here, and you were right.
She's sitting right here.
Guess who it is.
- Bob? - Right, and he wants to talk to you.
Don't you, Bob? Right.
Here's Rhoda.
Hello, Bob.
Wasn't it lucky you caught me here? Yeah.
Listen.
I think our Three Musketeers should have a meeting and discuss which Musketeer you like best.
That was sort of a short meeting, wasn't it? Oh, yeah.
Great.
[Chuckles.]
We're still friends.
You're the best friend I ever had.
Good-bye, Bob.
# Da da-dum ba-dum # - Rhoda? - I don't wanna talk about it.
Look, it's forgotten.
It's not important.
I'd just like to finish my dinner.
- Thanks for dinner, Mary.
- Wait.
You have got to stay and listen to me.
- Okay, what do you have to say? - Nothing.
Hey, come on.
Don't make a big deal out of this, please.
- Rhoda, listen - You know that awards thing we're going to on Saturday? - Yeah.
- I'm not going.
Mary, what I mean to say is, right now I can think of better ways to spend Saturday than watching you win an award, you know? - I'm not gonna win.
- You're not? - No, I'll probably lose.
- In that case, I'll go with you.
[People Chattering.]
[People Chattering.]
- [Indistinct Chatter.]
- Hello.
Testing, testing.
- One, two, three, four.
Testing.
- [Feedback.]
Sorry, folks.
I just wanted your attention.
Would you please take your seats.
We have to be moving right along now because the luncheon took longer than we anticipated, and there's another group using the room after us thank you.
- Do you think we'll win, Mar? - I think you'll win, Ted.
It would be appropriate, wouldn't it, for a Teddy to win a Teddy? It would be more appropriate if they had called this award a Dummy.
I'm nervous for you.
These award things are murder.
My wife loves them.
When John Wayne got the Oscar, she cried.
And that woman never shed a tear at our daughter's wedding.
- [Laughs.]
What are you up for? - Second cousin.
- What? - My name is Hartunian.
I'm waiting here for the Armenian wedding that's next.
- You're a little early, aren't you? - If you don't come early to an Armenian wedding, you can starve to death.
## [Drumroll, Cymbal Crash.]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Second Annual Television Editors Awards.
We'll be announcing the winners in just a moment, but, first, let's honor our distinguished nominees.
Would all the nominees please stand and accept our applause.
Just like an Armenian wedding when they ask the immediate family to stand up.
Does everyone have their acceptance speeches ready? I think I'm gonna just make up something on the spur of the moment, like "Thank you.
" Isn't it funny how you keep hoping that you'll win, even though you know you don't have a chance? - You know what I said before? Forget it.
I hope you win.
- Thank you.
You just blew your acceptance speech.
Ladies and gentlemen, since the other party is waiting out in the hall to set up, I'm afraid we'll have to dispense with the acceptance speeches.
- Ahh! - Uh, yes, sir? Ted Baxter, WJ M-TV.
Since we don't have time for our acceptance speeches and I wrote three of them may we at least stand and be acknowledged by our peers when we receive our Teddys? Of course you can.
We weren't gonna throw them at you.
[Laughs.]
Whoever heard of such a thing? Whoever heard of awards without acceptance speeches? It's barbaric.
And now, our first category is for the best male personality.
And the nominees are: Lyle Taggert, Jack Perry, Harry Bibbs and Ted Baxter.
And the winner is Jack Perry.
- [Cheering.]
- ## [Band Strikes Up.]
Well, that's not fair.
He's on educational television.
Who watches educational television? Mary, that's a great-looking statue.
It'll look great in your apartment.
Yeah, I guess it will would, if I win, but I probably won't.
And now, for best newscaster, the nominees are: Joe Clark, Bob Hughes, Walter Matthews, Ted Baxter.
And the winner is - Walter Matthews.
- ## [Band Plays.]
Look at him.
What's he standing up for? I guess he just wants to be acknowledged by his peers.
- [Lou.]
We're not We're not through yet.
- What's going on? You see those white flowers over there? They're from me to the bride and groom.
Ladies and gentlemen, we must move right along.
We have quite a few more categories to cover.
And now, for best public affairs program, the nominees are: Sunday Afternoon News Makers, Richard Cox, ; Sunday Afternoon Review, Michael Bronson; Sunday Afternoon Hot Seat, Harry Marx, ; and Sunday Afternoon News Conference, Mary Richards.
And the winner is - [Loud Feedback.]
- [Not Audible.]
- [Lou.]
What? - He said you.
Yes! - Did he? I won? - I'm sure he did.
Go on, get it.
- Go get it.
- [Emcee.]
Did you hear? The winner is Michael Bronson.
## [Band Plays.]
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
You get used to it.
Wasn't that the most boring thing you ever sat through in your whole life? Yeah.
That Armenian wedding wasn't too hot, either.
- Aren't you gonna come in? - I think I'll just go upstairs.
- You know, Rhoda, I think we're not quite friends yet.
- What makes you think that? 'Cause I can remember a time when you used to walk all the way into my apartment.
Oh, Mary.
It's just that I'm bad at making people feel better, that's all.
I don't feel that bad.
That's surprising, Mar, after you stood up in front of all those people, making a big fool of yourself like you did.
Rhoda, I think we have a little problem between us.
Oh, Mary, I told you, I haven't thought about Bob at all.
It's over.
No, no, we didn't have a problem with Bob.
No, no.
We have a problem because I am not too crazy about the fact that you are so happy that I lost.
[Scoffs.]
You think I'm happy over you falling on your face like you did? Ah-ha! You see, that's just what I'm talking about.
- Ever since that phone call - Wait a minute.
Do you really think I sat there rooting for my best friend to lose? That I enjoyed it when you thought they called your name? [Laughing.]
[Laughing Continues.]
When you said they called my name.
Did I? Oh, seriously, Mar, now I'm laughing about it, but back there, when that happened you rushed up, then lost the award it was the happiest moment of my life.
[Laughing.]
Hmm-hmm-hmm! So what are you smiling at me for? I'm a terrible person.
Rhoda, you are not terrible, because I just discovered something so wonderful: Everybody is terrible.
- I gotta tell you something.
I have a little confession.
- Oh, yeah? I have always resented the fact that you make more money than I do, - and I think my job is a lot more important than yours.
- No.
- Yes.
Now do you see why I was "hmm-hmm-ing"? - Really? - Now, l Oh, I got another one for you.
- What? I have always resented the fact that you have this marvelous apartment and don't know how to decorate it.
- Oh, I feel like I have a giant weight off my shoulders.
- Right.
- Isn't this wonderful, to talk honestly like this? - It is.
Right, yeah.
- Mm, I got another one for you.
- Shoot.
When I found out that Bob liked me, [Chuckles.]
the way I really felt was I think we've had enough honest talking for tonight, don't you? - Good morning, Ted.
- What is that supposed to mean? Nothing.
Well, I guess I'm a little upset about the awards.
I'm sorry you didn't win.
Thank you.
I'm sorry you didn't win.
Didn't win.
Didn't win.
[Chuckling.]
[Ted.]
.
Just because I lost three times is no reason for you to Just what we don't need dissension on the news team.
Next thing you know, they'll be having fistfights in the locker room.
I think it's time for a little picker-upper.
- Mr.
Grant, y-you don't want - No, no, not that kind.
- This kind.
- Where'd you get that? I bought it at the Tinker Trophy Company.
I figure we give it to the whole newsroom, everybody feels like they've won something, pick up their spirits.
Oh, Mr.
Grant, that is so warm and, and lovely Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, everybody, take ten.
I have something to say to you.
The morale in this office is decidedly lousy.
Okay, so you didn't win a Teddy, but you won the Tinker.
- What's the Tinker? - Mary.
Here it is.
- What's the Tinker? - Who cares? I want to thank all the people that helped me win this award.
I don't have time to mention all their names, but they know who they are.
- A lot of people wonder how you reach a point like this.
- [Slams.]
Well, you start as a staff announcer in 1952 in a television station in a small 5,000-watt radio station in Fresno, California.
A lot of people ask me what my secret is.
And I say, well, persevere.
Persevere, persevere, persevere.
And in time, if you're fortunate, if you're lucky, you may reach the great heights that I really don't know what else to say.
[Mews.]