The Proud Family (2001) s01e09 Episode Script

Well, class, your essays
on "who inspires me"
certainly didn't inspire me.
But despite your supreme lack of
creativity everyone got a decent grade
except for one underachiever.
I can tell you who the
underachiever is. Me.
You? No way, Penny.
Shoot, you're the
smartest kid in this class.
Well, maybe not smarter
than Lacienega or sticky.
And you're definitely not
smarter than the Chang triplets.
A "D" minus?!
Man, what did I tell you?
A "D" minus?!
Wow, you're not
even smarter than me.
Class dismissed.
Man, but this isn't fair.
I write my essay on
why Hillary Clinton
inspires me and get a "D"
while you get a "B" with
your ten-sentence essay
on why Sir Paid-a-Lot
inspires you.
Which you happened to write
three minutes before class.
Look, Penny, don't
hate the player
hate the game.
Lunch time.
Let's bounce.
You go ahead.
Uh, Ms. Dinkins?
Ms. Dinkins?
Um, I would like to know why
I got a "D" minus on my essay.
Because I didn't like it.
Well, if I didn't know better
I'd say it's because
you don't like me.
If you had put that kind
of thinking into your paper
you might have
gotten a better grade.
The Proud family ♪
what? ♪
you and me will always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family a
Proud, Proud family ♪
Mama, I'm telling you, old
lady dinkins can't stand me.
Why else would she
give me a "D" minus?
Let me take a
look at that essay.
Hillary Clinton?!
There's your problem.
Your teacher must
be a republican.
No, Ms. Dinkins is my problem.
Penny, what have we
said about making excuses?
I'm not making any excuses.
It's the truth.
You believe me,
don't you, Suga Mama?
Of course, I do, baby.
But you'd have done much better
if you had written that paper about
how you admire your Suga Mama,
like I told you.
Look, Penny, it's
not what we think.
It's what your teacher thinks.
I suggest you get your act together
young lady, and work things out.
Ask her if you can
do some extra credit.
Will you ask her for me?
Ms. Dinkins scheduled a
parent-teacher conference
after school tomorrow.
Oh, Penny, baby, your father
and I can't do it tomorrow.
The twins are
being interviewed to
attend the institute
for early academics.
We've had this appointment
since before they were born.
Fine, you better get three spots
because once Ms. Dinkins
gets through with me
I'll be back in preschool, too.
Oscar, what are we going to do?
Well, we're certainly not
going to pay for all three of them
to go to that expensive school.
Oh, you young
folks worry too much.
Now, you two go
on to that interview
at that old highfalutin' school.
I'll straighten out things here
between my grand-baby
and that Ms. Dinkins.
Or make things worse.
- Oh!
- I heard that.
Oh, Oscar, this
school is everything
I thought it would be.
State-of-the-art classrooms.
Every teacher has a Ph.D.
Oh, the cafeteria is
run by Wolfgang puck.
And the tuition is
picked up by brinks.
Hello, Mrs. Proud.
I'm Dave Daniels,
Dean of admissions.
And these must be the twins.
Hello, Bebe and Cece.
And you must be Oscar Proud.
Wow, I never thought
I'd see you again.
Have we met?
Oh, yeah, we go way back.
We were classmates at
Wendell Scott middle school.
Get out of town. Wendell
Scott middle school?
Man, those were the days.
Wow, it's a small world.
No offense, Mr. Daniels,
but I don't remember you.
Well, I could never
forget you, Oscar.
You know, I got something
that might jog your memory.
Go on, sit down.
I'll be right back.
Trudy, the twins are in.
We haven't been
interviewed yet, Oscar.
Interview? Please!
Didn't you hear
Daniels? We go way back.
Shoot, in middle
school, I was the man.
I ran things, you
know what I'm saying?
Shoot, me and Daniels, we boys.
But Oscar, you don't
even remember him.
But, he remembers me.
So, he must be all right.
Shoot, you had to be cool to hang
with Oscar Proud in middle school.
Chumps and rooty
poots need not apply.
Yeah, Oscar Proud was the man.
Mm-hmm.
Look at this, Oscar.
Our old school annual.
Oh, man, I haven't seen one of
these bad boys in over 20 years.
Trudy, check out your
man back in the day.
You looked like
a fur ball with lips.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I looked good.
Hey, Daniels, let
me see your picture.
Here I am.
Oh, man, I remember you.
"Dave the dork."
Trudy, you should
have seen this guy.
He was pathetic. I used to take his
lunch money and his glasses, every day.
Honey, he was the guy.
He was the man.
Okay, let me put it this way.
Do my kids have a chance
of getting into this school?
Mr. Daniels, even though I didn't
know my husband in middle school,
I apologize for his
cruelty towards you.
We would really like to be
considered for admission.
Yeah I bet you would.
You know, fundraising is
very big here at the institute.
And we do tend to give
very strong consideration
to our most
generous contributors.
Oh, I get it. This
is a shakedown.
This is your version of
"the big payback," Dave.
Oh, on the contrary, Oscar.
I hold no ill will
towards you whatsoever.
I mean, what is done is done.
You see, I'm just letting you know
One Wendell Scott alumni to another
How to enhance your children's chances
of being admitted into the institute.
Thank you, Mr. Daniels.
And it just so happens
that I have an invitation
to our annual
fund-raiser next Friday.
- Maybe I'll see you there.
- Thanks, Dave.
All that bullying
and humiliation
I put you through I
really didn't mean it.
What do you say I buy two
tickets to that fund-raiser right now?
Well, generous contributors
always buy tables.
How generous are we talking?
$3,000.
Well, what do you know?
I've only got a $5,000 bill.
And I know you don't
have change for that.
Well, I'll get back to you.
Come on, baby, let's move along.
Well, miss Proud!
If your parents
don't show up today
they'll just have to
show up when I flunk you.
My Suga Mama is on
the way, Ms. Dinkins.
Oh, relax, little
girl. Just a joke.
There's a runaway floor
waxer in the hallway.
Thing ran over my poor Puff.
Now, where is this Ms. Dinkins?
- You?
- You?
You guys know each other?
Gertie? Girl, I
thought you was dead.
Not that you
don't look the part.
So, what part are you
playing, suga mummy?
Wait a minute, now. We could
pick this right up where we left off.
Ain't nothing changed in 50
years including your bad breath.
Hey, if it's a fight
you want, it's on.
Oh, bring it on, baby.
Stop.
You two shouldn't be fighting.
This conference is about me.
It was never 'bout you, Penny.
This old prune eater
wants to get back at me
by messing with your grades.
Come on, gertie. If you
want some, get some.
Oh, come on, now. Come on.
Don't, now, don't you
Ah! Get away from me, girl.
Watch it. Watch it, girl.
Get on back, you Take that.
Watch it, girl!
Get on back!
Trudy, I'm not paying
$3,000 for some fund-raiser
so my kids might
get into that school.
That's like betting
against the globetrotters.
No, it's like betting on
your children's future.
Baby, Dave the
dork is setting us up.
He just wants to shake us
down then kick us to the curb.
You heard what I did to
him. I'm not falling for it.
And that's it.
Hey, everybody,
how'd the interview go?
Just great.
Thanks to your father
The middle school bully
We have to donate
$3,000 to get the twins in.
No, we have to enroll
the kids in a public school.
We'll talk about
it later, Oscar.
How was your parent-teacher
conference, baby?
Great! All this time, I
thought Ms. Dinkins hated me
when who she really
hates is Suga Mama.
Ooh, I never heard
that one before.
Where is miss congeniality?
I think she's in detention.
- Detention?
- Detention?
Yeah, Suga Mama and
Ms. Dinkins got into a big fight
and Mr. Collins, the gym
teacher, had to break it up.
Mama, those two
really scrapping.
Thank you for your
ride, Mr. Collins.
You're welcome, Mrs. Proud.
Now, remember you've got
six more hours of detention.
Well, as long as
you're there I'll be there.
On second thought, forget
detention. Forget my name.
I'm going to surprise
baby and show up anyway.
Suga Mama, I cannot
believe you were fighting.
What kind of example
are you setting for Penny?
And if she was paying attention
she'd learn how
to stick and move.
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
Did you win, Mama?
Oscar!
We'll talk about it later.
Now, Suga Mama, will you
please tell us what is going on
between you and Ms. Dinkins?
Ain't nothing between
us but a restraining order.
Okay, okay, I'll tell you.
It all started back in the day.
It was during the war.
And I was doing my
part to help the war effort
by entertaining our
soldiers at the diamond club.
Ooh, man, that place
was swank. Mm-mmm.
I remember it like
it was yesterday.
Chick Robins and his
swinging sepia tones
really had that joint
jumping that night.
The wind is blowing,
and it feel like a hurricane ♪
the wind is blowing, and
it feels like a hurricane ♪
love me, baby, let
me in your game ♪
'cause, have a
party, have a ball ♪
have a party, have a ball ♪
have a party, have a ball ♪
have a party, have a ball ♪
have a party, have a ball ♪
have a party, have a ball ♪
As usual, the Darnell
sisters were showing off
but everybody was looking at me.
Ooh, I was tearing
up the dance floor.
That's when the
Tuskegee airmen walked in
and I first laid my eyes
on pretty Percy Proud.
Granddaddy was
a Tuskegee airman?
No, sugar, he changed
the tires on the planes.
He was the finest
man I'd ever seen.
Dressed sharp as
a tack in his zoot suit
with his hair fried,
dyed, and laid to the side.
Hmm, I couldn't take
my eyes off of him.
That's when I saw
that old flirty gertie
making a beeline for my man.
Hey, cool daddy,
want to swing with me
in the dance contest?
No, I'm his partner.
He's dancing with
me in this contest.
Wait a minute, doll babies.
There's plenty of
Percy for everybody.
Then suddenly, the
band struck up a tune.
The Darnell sisters
took over the floor
with old rubber legs Louie.
Now, gertie hated the
Darnell sisters more than I did.
So before you could
say "shake a tail feather"
the three of us had Lindy
hopped onto the dance floor
and the battle was on, baby.
Percy Proud was something else.
He would spin both
of us at the same time.
Now, of course, we
won the dance contest
so, the only
thing left to decide
was who was going to get
to leave with old pretty Percy.
Would you dolls
care for a soda pop?
- Thank you, Percy.
- Thank you, Percy.
Can you spot me ten cents?
Suga, why don't you
make like a shoe and step?
And gertie, why don't you
make like a fly and shoo!
Look, we can play the
dozens all night long.
So, what do you say we flip?
What about Percy?
He's a man. He'll take
whatever he can get.
- Heads.
- Let it hit the floor.
It's heads. Why
don't you hit the door?
So, gertie walked
away a beaten woman
and Percy Proud and I walked
straight to the wedding chapel
and to a life of
bliss and happiness.
And, well, that's
the way it happened.
I won your papa
Proud fair and square.
But gertie has never
been able to accept it.
And now, she's taking it
out on my poor grand-baby.
Suga Mama You
are something else.
But I got to give you props.
You did what you had
to do to get your man.
I ain't mad at ya!
Well, you know, a
player's got to play.
I'm glad you two were happy.
Thanks to Suga Mama,
I'm going to summer school.
I don't think so.
Come on, Penny. You and I are going
over to Ms. Dinkins' house right now.
No way she's going
to mistreat my baby.
For real, daddy?
That's right. Your daddy's
going to handle things.
Or make things worse.
Hello, Ms. Dinkins.
Penny Proud?
And let me guess
This is your father.
You got that right, lady.
We need to talk. I don't
know who you think you are
but no one treats Oscar
Proud's kids this way.
And another thing ow!
I don't know who you think you are
coming over to my house uninvited
and trying to jump bad with me.
You're just like your
Mama Rude and loud.
Hey, nobody talks about my Mama.
Nobody talks ow!
I see I'm going to have to
teach you some manners.
And quit slouching!
Yes, ma'am. Ow!
Excuse me, Ms. Dinkins.
Are you going to the
gala for the institute?
I don't think that's
any of your business.
Now, I want a 2,000-word
paper from you on good manners.
- You got that?
- Yes, Ms. Dinkins.
Now, get out of my house.
Good night, ma'am.
Now, you know what I
did in there was for you.
I didn't want anybody
coming down on my baby.
You're not going to
tell anybody about this?
Daddy, I'm too ashamed.
Good, I knew you'd understand.
There were pictures of
Suga Mama and Ms. Dinkins
all over the house.
They looked like
they were really close.
I bet they were best friends.
It's sad they're not together.
I know, baby.
I wish there was some way
we could get them back together.
Well, you know, Ms. Dinkins
is going to that gala.
- Maybe we could
- Uh-uh.
Don't even think about it.
There's no way we're
going to buy a $3,000 table
just so we can get those
two old biddies back together.
But daddy, they
grew up together.
I even saw a picture
of them in diapers.
So what? They're in diapers now.
Besides, I'm not giving up
any money to that institute.
And that's that.
I have spoken.
Oh, Oscar, I sent the
check in while you were out.
Now get back to work.
You've got a paper
to write, young man.
Branch is swinging, and it's
swinging like a chimpanzee ♪
Oh, yeah, play that song, chick.
Thank you for
inviting me, Mr. Proud.
My pleasure, Dijonay.
That'll be $150.
- Oscar!
- What? It's tax deductible.
What's up, Penny?
Hi, sticky. What
are you doing here?
My grandfather's the
roadie for the band.
You want to jitterbug?
You kids don't know
nothing about no jitterbug.
Come on, sticky,
let's show them.
But I want to dance with pe
Dijonay!
We're supposed to be
doing the swing, not the cling.
There you are.
The Proud Prouds.
Oscar, thank you for your very
generous donation to tonight's affair.
You're welcome, Dave.
So, are my babies in?
Well, it's a start.
If you really want to better your
chances you could allow me the privilege
of dancing with
your beautiful wife.
- Now, wait a minute, pal
- I'd love to dance, Dave.
Have a ball ♪
Come on, Suga Mama.
Look who's here.
I don't believe it.
I don't see your wrinkled
behind for over 50 years.
And now I see you
every other day.
I've got your wrinkled
behind, you Jurassic old prune.
Stop it.
You know you two
miss each other.
Best friends don't hold a
50-year grudge over a coin flip.
They do when one
of them is a cheater.
Suga used a two-headed coin.
Yeah, you didn't know I knew.
I came back to get my purse,
and I found it on the floor.
A coin with two
faces Just like you.
Mamie, Mamie, look who's here
after all these years.
I don't believe it, Mary.
It's gertie and suga bear.
Oh, no, the Darnell sisters.
How have you two snooty
skeezers been getting along?
Oh, we've been fine.
Check out the ice.
We been the jitterbug
champions the last half century.
Big deal.
You two never beat us.
Hmm, but apparently,
father time did.
Oh, girl.
Dang, they straight
clowned you all.
If that was me and my girl
Dijonay, we would take them down.
Branch is swinging, and it's
swinging like a chimpanzee ♪
branch is swinging ♪
and it's swinging
like a chimpanzee ♪
got me singing I want
to take you home with me ♪
Game over, Dave the dork.
I don't want anything to do
with you or your stinking school.
It costs too much money anyway.
Now, leave me and my
wife and my family alone.
Especially my wife.
I know you had your heart
set on that school, baby
but I'm not going
to pay good money
to have some man dance
with my wife like that.
Besides, I put a stop
payment on the check.
Oh, shut up and
give me some lips.
Come on, baby, meet
me on the mountain slope ♪
don't say, "maybe" ♪
Okay, gertie, here's the deal.
Heads, we trash
the Darnell sisters.
Tails, the next time we
talk's behind the pearly gates.
That's if you get there.
Okay, but this time,
we're using my coin.
It's heads. All right.
Hey, that's my old trick coin.
Gotcha, didn't I?
Keep on saying I'll
give you all from a to z ♪
Come on, gertie. Let's
take out some garbage.
But we need a partner.
We've got one.
Come on here, rubber neck.
Fly fish, gertie.
Trudy!
'Round the world.
Help me.
Hey, gertie, let's finish
up with a wishbone.
Wishbone? What's that?
We grab a leg and
you make a wish.
And the winners and new
champions after a 50-year hiatus,
the team of gertie, suga
and Oscar "wishbone" Proud.
Gertie, I'm sorry about
the two-headed coin.
If it's any consolation
I saved you from
being Oscar's Mama.
I'm sorry, too.
I should have never let a man
come between our friendship.
You ladies have still got it.
Yeah, you guys were great.
I like the way you
all handle your men.
Thanks, Penny
for reminding two old
ladies what's important in life.
And I'm changing the grade
on your essay from a "D"
to the one you
deserve an "a."
Thanks, Ms. Dinkins.
And Penny, I want to thank you
for reuniting me with my best friend.
I missed you, gertie.