The Villains Of Valley View (2022) s01e09 Episode Script

WOMAN: Previously on The
Villains of Valley View.
Still mad because
Starling kicked your butt?
She did not kick my butt.
I might've kinda sorta lost to Starling
and now my fury over it
consumes my entire existence.
What are you doing with
Starling's autograph?
And how does she know who you are?
You're Chaos.
Promise you won't tell my family
about this, especially Amy.
Starling, look out.
You just saved her life.
Could I maybe get your number?
I should probably take
yours too, you know,
just to make sure you're
staying on the right path.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
That is a good one.
Okay. Sounds good.
Yeah, talk soon. Okay. Bye-bye.
Hey, Jake.
Were you just talking to who
I think you were talking to?
Yup. Starling.
HARTLEY: Starling?
Oh. Well, I thought it
was the middle aged guy
from tech support who you
oddly became friends with.
Dennis? No, I talked to him earlier.
Good news, I convinced
him to ditch the hairpiece
and embrace the bald.
Well, did Starling ask about me?
Not by name but she did tell
me to say hi to my weird friend.
That means she remembered me.
We've been talking every day
since we went to our commercial shoot.
And tonight, she wants
to meet up in person.
Oh my gosh, tonight? Really?
Oh, that's amazing.
What am I gonna wear?
Well, how about pajamas?
Because you're staying home.
This is the first chance Starling and I
have had to hang out alone
and I wanna make it special.
So we're going to a junkyard.
Sounds romantic.
Was the sewage plant all booked up?
It's special because that's
where we had our first battle.
I threw a rusted out engine block at her
and she stopped it midair
and threw it right back at me.
It was magical.
But anyway, I need you to
cover for me with my parents,
and more importantly Amy.
Oh, no.
I already feel guilty about
keeping a secret from her.
She's my best friend and she
wouldn't keep secrets from me.
- Yeah, she would.
- Yeah. You're probably right.
But I don't like doing it to her.
Neither do I.
I'm not gonna keep
this from her forever,
just until I can find a way
to make her see the Starling that I see.
You know, the one she won't
wanna toss off a tall building.
Fine.
But the stress of keeping
this secret is getting to me.
I'm starting to lose my hair.
I mean, the shower drain
looks like it's wearing a wig.
Come on, you can stay for dinner.
And do you mind wearing a hairnet?
I don't know what's going on.
But I'm gonna find out.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Does your family always
have pancakes for dinner?
Well, we can't break the law anymore.
At least let us break
the rules of breakfast.
Hey, where's Colby?
I don't know.
Ever since he shapeshifted into a fly,
I've had the toughest
time keeping tabs on him.
COLBY: I'm down here avoiding your fork.
[GASPS]
What are you doing in my pancakes?
Get your own.
I wish I could, but
I'm stuck in the syrup.
Fine. I'll just eat around you.
- Hey, Amy.
- Hey.
Everything okay?
Yeah, why wouldn't it be?
Do you know something I don't know?
Because if you did, you could tell me.
Doesn't matter what it is.
I mean, we're best friends, right?
Of course.
Good.
Well, careful.
Your hair is shedding
all over your pancakes.
So what's everyone doing tonight?
Well, I'm off to the mall
to hang out at the food court
and check out the surfboard store.
Yup, taking up surfing,
totally normal teenage
boy in Texas stuff.
Bye.
What about you, Hartley?
[CHUCKLES]
These pancakes are so good, I
might just eat them all night.
Well, I'm gonna go get a burger.
This whole breakfast for dinner
thing is, uh, it's really weird.
VIC: I did it.
I've been up for three days straight
but I finally found a way to
stop Colby from being trapped
in a random shapeshifting cycle.
We're gonna get our son back.
Ooh, pancakes.
COLBY: Dad, stop. It's me.
Oh.
Well, hurry up and
swim out of that syrup.
Daddy's hungry.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
VIC: All right, ladies.
Say hello to my amazing invention
that's gonna turn Colby
fly here back to normal.
The first ever Molecular Re-Atomizer.
I haven't slept since
Wednesday, clap for me.
[APPLAUSE]
COLBY: You know what I
need to clap? Human hands.
Get on with it.
Okay.
Here we go.
Wait.
Are you sure it's safe
for us to stand this close?
Sure. Just cover your face
so your eyeballs don't
melt out of your skull.
- Seriously?
- No, I'm joking.
Or am I?
I am.
- Are you?
- I am not.
Okay.
Here we go.
[WHIRRING]
COLBY: What the it tingles.
Okay. Now it burns.
Huh. The tingle is back.
It worked.
I mean, why wouldn't it?
My baby is back.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh.
Better hold up on the hugs.
You haven't showered for a month.
Good to have you back, bud.
It's good to have a back, dad.
And man, I cannot
wait to stretch it out.
[GRUNTS]
Sorry, son.
The machine is still
restructuring your DNA,
so you're gonna have to stay
in there a little longer.
Which will give us time to go
pick you up a cake to celebrate.
We couldn't decide between
welcome back to your body
or congrats on being normal again,
so we're just gonna swipe one
from the neighbor's retirement party.
You can't do that.
He's old.
Probably wouldn't even know it's gone.
I'll wait with you, Colby.
Do you want anything?
Yeah. Actually, I'm kind of thirsty.
Could you grab me that water?
Oh. No, no, no, no.
What kind of evil lair
doesn't have paper towels?
Oh, no.
What's wrong?
Why do I sound like this?
And why do I feel taller and thicker?
I've got bigger everything.
I think the water
shorted out the console
and it made you older.
Look.
That's me?
Whoa. I'm a major hottie.
Yeah. I mean, no.
I mean, ew. [CHUCKLES]
I mean, I gotta fix this.
[BEEPING]
Come on, dumb machine, turn it back.
Good idea, Hartley. If
things take a bad turn,
just start hitting random buttons.
[BEEPING]
Is it working?
Why do I feel the sudden urge
to second guess my life choices
and spend all my
savings on a sports car?
Probably because of this?
[GROANS] Now I'm old.
What happened to the hottie?
I know.
His eyes were so dark and soulful,
I could just get lost in them.
I'm just gonna keep pressing buttons.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOG BARKING]
Sorry, I'm late.
Probably should've chosen a junkyard
with less angry guard dogs.
I thought they were kind of sweet.
But then again, everyone's sweet to me
because, you know, superhero.
- It's good to see you again.
- You too.
So, now what do we do?
I thought we were gonna go get
ice cream but this is a choice.
Come on, we had our first
battle in the junkyard.
I was being sentimental.
We also fought on a tropical island.
We could've met there.
What was that?
The dogs are back
and they can smell my fear.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Amy.
Guess I didn't get the invite.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Jake, get away from her.
How'd you know I was here?
I overheard your
conversation with Hartley.
You're lucky I got here just in time.
In time for what?
To save you.
I'm sorry, who are you?
- His sister.
- Wait.
You're Havoc?
Girl, you had me fooled.
- Amy, I can explain.
- AMY: No need.
At first, I was upset but then I thought
of course I can trust my brother.
He'd never meet with my nemesis
behind my back on purpose.
I mean, supervillains don't
hang out with superheroes.
She's clearly taking advantage
of nice guy Jake for one reason,
to lure you into a trap.
It's not a trap.
And you know who'd say that?
A person setting a trap.
[GRUNTS]
Well, if you're gonna start something,
I'm gonna end it.
- Not this time.
- Stop fighting.
You're gonna attract the dogs.
There's one advantage I've
always had over you, Havoc.
I can fly and you're
stuck on the ground.
That's where you're wrong.
Whoa.
When did you learn how to do that?
Just now. Lucky for me it worked.
[GRUNTS]
Starling.
Yup. Still working on the landing.
Jake, get out of the way.
No, Amy. This has gone way too far.
AMY: I mean it, Jake.
Get out of the way.
It's time for me to finish this.
[GRUNTS]
Amy!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Aging 30 years in a
day has me so confused.
I don't know whether to play
Little League or coach it.
[GASPS] There you are.
Where have you been?
Well, Gara's retirement
bash got canceled,
so we had to improvise
and steal a cake from
some kid's birthday party.
Won't be a happy
birthday for you, Johnny.
Who's this?
It's me, Colby.
- What?
- Oh, no.
I kind of spilled on your console
and then everything sparked
and then he turned 20 and then
I started pressing more buttons
and then he turned into that.
Mom, can you please make me a sandwich?
And don't forget to cut off the crust.
It is Colby.
My son is older than me.
Fix this.
I'm on it.
I'll be in the lair.
Hello, Celia.
Robert, you really don't have a problem
with your lady just
waltzing into tenant's homes?
Hey.
I may be the chief of police
but she's the chief of everything else.
Taught him that on our first date.
What are you doing here, grandma?
I came to tell you that
Robert and I are going dancing.
Salsa dancing.
Things are gonna get hot tonight.
Okay.
Now you two have fun, and then bye.
Who's this?
You don't have someone
else living here, do you?
- No, he's actually
- The plumber.
[CHUCKLES] He's a plumber.
That's his job.
That's what he does for a living.
Yup. He plumbs.
I know you're new at lying
but that was more lie than we needed.
I didn't call a plumber.
It was an emergency.
A leaky faucet emergency.
Why didn't you call me?
Because I knew you were getting
ready for your date with Robert.
Oh, okay.
Did I mention we're going salsa dancing?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Hold on a minute.
If you're a plumber, let me
see your plumber's license.
- You can't.
- Why not?
Because I left it back at the shop.
Mmm-hmm.
There's a ring of scam
artists around town
pretending to be plumbers to
swindle money out of people
and he could be one of them.
No one scams me or my granddaughter.
No, I swear I'm legit.
I think we should stick
around to make sure.
We might have to delay salsa dancing.
That's okay.
The only thing more
romantic than salsa dancing
is shaking down scammers.
Can I interest anyone in a
young child's birthday cake?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Did you seriously just
protect Starling over me?
What is going on, Jake?
A few months ago back in
Sintropolis when I was Chaos,
she saved my life.
If it wasn't for her, I might
not even be here right now.
He was dangling off the side of
a building and I pulled him up.
Girl power.
Sorry, continue.
All those times you asked me why
I was becoming a better person,
that's why.
Starling gave me a reason to.
So this whole time you acted
like you were trying to
become a better person
but it was also you could
get cozy with my nemesis?
No, it didn't start out that way.
I went to ColossaCon to thank her
and we've kind of been
talking ever since.
You told me not to go
because I would be putting
our family in danger
but you're the one who's
been putting us in danger
and for some superhero?
But she's not just some superhero.
She's so much more than that.
I've been talking to her and if
you just got to know her and
I do know her.
And I thought I knew you.
We never used to keep
secrets from each other but
I don't think I can
trust you ever again.
We may share the same
villain blood but
you're not my brother anymore.
Amy, wait.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Amy won't even talk to me.
I should've just told her
about us from the start.
We all make mistakes.
I mean, I don't because,
again, superhero.
I knew Amy would be upset
but I never expected it
would hurt her this bad.
Don't you have some
kind of time travel power
you can use to undo this?
[SIGHS] If I did, I'd
go back and get even
for that last sonic blast to the ribs.
It really hurt.
Well, I'm sure my whole
family knows by now,
so looks like I'll be
crashing here for a while.
No.
You need to go home and make this right.
How?
Now that Amy knows that
we're seeing each other,
- I
- We were seeing each other.
What?
Look, Jake.
I like you a lot.
But I'm not in the business
of breaking up families,
even if you are villains.
No. I'll find a way.
We can work it out.
It won't be that easy
and we both know it.
We're from two completely
different places.
Places that don't understand each other
and aren't willing to work together.
And because of that,
it's too risky for both of us.
Please.
I've already lost my
sister. I can't lose you too.
I'm sorry.
But in time, you'll see this is
the best thing for both of us.
Goodbye, Jake.
At least it couldn't get much worse.
[DOG GROWLING]
Okay. You know what, bring it on, dogs.
Just kidding, just
kidding, just kidding.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay what?
Grandma, why don't you and
Robert give our plumber friend
a little breathing room?
There.
Now you can breathe.
Come on, Celia.
He's a stand-up guy.
I think you can trust him.
Why would I trust
him? I don't trust you.
You trust me, don't you, Cels?
I trust you to stay out of my business.
ROBERT: I'm seeing too much
looking and not enough fixing.
[CHUCKLES]
Why don't you just start plumbing?
Hurry up down there.
This salsa queen wants to dance.
You know, some people say I'm
the Shakira of Valley View,
because these hips don't lie. [CHUCKLES]
- Lovely.
- Please hurry up down there.
COLBY: Hey, I think I did it.
[GRUNTS]
Aha! I knew it.
He's no plumber, he's a fraud.
Come out from under
there so I can book you
for swindling these nice people.
[GASPS]
Who's that?
It's me, the plumber.
Well, how long were you down there for?
You know the plumber we met earlier?
Well, this is his father.
Father?
Oh.
Yup. I'm his father.
That can't be.
I know I saw the other
plumber go under there
and he never came back out.
Well, to be fair, you have
had a lovely distraction
around you for the whole time.
What distraction?
This distraction.
Oh, right.
Yes, I did.
I guess that's why I
didn't see them switch.
You know, I'm sure the
plumber's father does not
take kindly to people
calling his son a scammer,
isn't that right, sir?
Start talking like an old man.
You bet your fanny that's right.
I built my plumbing
business with my bare hands
back in the 1800s.
- 1900s.
- 1900s.
I will not stand for anyone
calling my son or my business a sham.
All due respect, sir, we was
just trying to make sure
Gobbledygook.
The only crime my son ever
committed was working too hard.
[SCOFFS] I'm hungry.
When do I get pudding?
My apologies, sir.
I certainly do respect my elders
and I appreciate the history
you built here in Valley View.
Well, good.
- And you.
- Slow your roll, pops.
You don't wanna try that with me.
Finally.
Now I can get down to the lair
and work on getting our son back.
And it looks like I'm
off to buy some pudding.
The smooth stuff.
Anything crunchy sits in me like a rock.
Oh, hello?
Are you forgetting something?
Oh, right.
Well, if I got to fix the
old man, you gotta fix that.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey, Amy.
Where were you? I've been
texting you for hours.
Don't.
I know everything.
Oh, I've been at the junkyard
with Jake and Starling.
Oh, boy.
How could you keep this
all a secret from me?
Look, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to protect everyone.
Jake is my friend too.
And when a friend asks
to keep a secret, I do it.
You know,
for the first time in my life, I thought
I actually made a real friend.
Someone who'd be there
for me, have my back.
But you're just as bad as Jake.
Amy, please.
I didn't even wanna
keep this secret at all.
But you did.
You know, I never wanted a
best friend in the first place
and
now I know why.
She knows.
Yeah.
Well, how do we fix this?
Honestly, Hartley
I don't know if we can.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, Colby, the good
news is I am a genius
and I'll find a way to get you back.
The bad news is you'll
have to wait until Friday
so you can buy us movie tickets
with your senior citizen discount.
We'll need you to buy us popcorn.
We'd share it with you
but it might get stuck in your dentures.
Hey.
At least now I'm old enough to drive.
Oh, now you're too old to drive.
That's a bummer.
Well, at least I'm old enough to drive.
Oh, sweetie.
Why don't you take a nap?
Come on.
Don't forget to take his teeth out.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]