Theodosia (2022) s01e09 Episode Script

[dramatic music]
♪
Sorry I'm late.
It took me ages to find
these in the library.
Blueprints for
Cleopatra's Needle.
Nice one, Theo.
I think the Eye could
be hidden in this
Oh, it could be
Chamber, just because it's
just below the needle.
How'd the recce go?
Did you find anything?
Only the secret
entrance to their lair.
Sorry, it's just so cool.
Okay, so the passage here leads
to Victoria Embankment Gardens,
and the entrance is
hidden in some bushes.
Everyone going in was
wearing these robes
The hoods, fabulous.
Okay, the eclipse
is in two days.
That's when the Eye will reveal
the hiding place to
the Staff of Osiris.
So we need to snatch
the Eye by tomorrow.
Small problem
Mum expects us in
class tomorrow.
I don't think she'd be up
for a "rob the scary
Serpents" field trip.
Safiya, write a
letter from your uncle
saying that you won't
be able to attend class.
- Can you fake his handwriting?
- His, my dad's, my mom's and
Hey, come on, what? I like
to keep my options open.
Okay, great, but what about us?
We need a way to
get out of class.
- You leave that to me, okay?
- I'll sort it.
You two are in
charge of disguises.
Four sets of weird,
baggy robes coming up.
Actually, a looser silhouette
is very Paris spring collection.
What?
They can be evil
and fashionable.
Will, create a distraction
with your magic
for when we get inside,
then we grab the Eye and
escape through the sewer.
♪
Okay, so
great plan right up
to the word "sewer."
Look, we need to
get the Eye back.
This is the only plan we've got
unless anyone has
anything different
they'd like to suggest?
♪
[exciting mystical music]
♪
Okay, I need a spell for
getting out of class.
[chuckles]
Spell to replace
the head of an enemy
with that of a hippopotamus.
[chuckles] Not what
I need right now,
but I am so bookmarking that.
[dramatic music]
♪
- [explosion]
- [coughs]
The smoke bomb works,
a bit too well.
- [coughs]
- What have you been doing?
- Just needs a tiny adjustment.
- Maybe not so tiny?
Maybe if I changed the
mix of ingredients?
So when are you gonna tell
Theo how you feel about her?
- What?
- Where did that come from?
We're meant to be
planning a heist.
I can multitask, and you
didn't answer my question.
I don't even know what
you're talking about.
Who says I have
feelings for Theo?
Please.
Look, I know chemistry
when I see it.
You think she might like me?
No, she hates you
clearly, you know, 'cause
that's why she jumps up
- every time your hands touch.
- [chuckles]
So that is agreed.
You're gonna go and talk to her.
- Am I?
- Yes, you are.
Today, the sooner the better.
Today?
Okay, I'll do it,
then. Thank you.
You're very good at that.
[sighs] I know.
Okay, all the
ingredients are ready.
Wear the flax bracelet
on your left wrist.
Okay, done that.
Split the salt into two piles
and place a foot on each.
If you say so.
♪
Okay.
Let's give this a go.
♪
Hear me, ancients.
Khnum, bringer of life,
let one become two,
one soul divided.
Hear me, ancients.
Khnum, bringer of life,
let one become two,
one soul divided.
Oh, wow.
You're me.
Oh, wait.
[chuckles] I always
wanted to know
what the back of my
head looked like.
- Do you want to see mine?
- [groans]
Okay, I guess conversation
isn't your strong point.
[chuckles, breathing deeply]
[clears throat] I need water.
Wait here.
[groans] [door opens]
[footsteps departing]
Hmm
How's the spell stuff going?
You making any progress?
Hmm
You're in the zone.
Sorry, I'll go.
- [sighs]
- Actually
There was something I
wanted to say to you.
I like you, Theo,
which I know you know,
'cause like you said,
we're friends, but this
is, like, like like,
not just like like.
Hmm
So I was wondering
if maybe you like liked me?
I guess what I'm saying is,
do you see me as
more than a friend?
[groans]
Definitely just friends, then.
Cool. That's perfect, actually.
Friends it is.
Uh
So I'll leave you to it.
Later, alligator.
Later, alligator?
[groans] Seriously?
[sighs]
♪
Wait, so you told Will to
tell Theo he likes her?
But I thought you liked Will?
Whatever, boys are like dresses.
Always another one
waiting to be discovered.
The creepy serpent guy wore
a dramatic full-length wool
with a plunging neckline
Yeah, are you going
to, you know, help?
Fine, but manual labor
is really not my thing.
No need to worry.
We'll have these
robes made in no time
because this genius has modified
the Lightning Speed
Letter Opener into
[drums hands]
The Supersonic Sewing Sensation!
No manual labor required.
Ta-da.
Wouldn't it have been quicker
just to make the robes?
[wheel squeaking]
It's very easy to use.
Just feed the fabric in
here, then crank this wheel.
It selects the right thread,
stitches it all together,
and voilà!
[wheel sputtering]
Well
there might be a tiny bit
of manual labor required.
- Want some?
- [groans]
Okay.
It's been great to
get to know you,
but, no offense, your
chats are a bit dull.
So
One soul united.
[sighs]
[cat meows]
Oh, what a nice surprise.
[cat meows]
Come here. [Smooches]
[cat purring]
You checking in on
me, furry friend?
I'm fine.
I'm just really
not looking forward
to having to do that again.
[chuckles] I wish I was a cat.
Not the eating-mice part, but
the "not having the
fate of the world"
resting on your shoulders,"
yeah, I could get into that.
♪
[sighs] What if I'm not
strong enough for this?
[footsteps approaching]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Ouch. Do I need
to call a surgeon?
- Don't worry.
- They're all still attached.
Well, I mean, just about.
And the robes are done.
Are you okay?
- You look sort of gray.
- Oh, I'm fine, yeah.
I-I just need a
good night's sleep.
[chuckles] So go
on, then, hop it.
[footsteps departing]
♪
[sighs]
[bell tolls]
[suspenseful music]
♪
Apparently Safiya won't
be joining us today.
Rami says she's guest of
honor at a grand parade
at the Egyptian
embassy Lucky her!
Way of keeping it all
on the down-low, Safiya.
Ah, can I borrow you
for a moment, please?
I'll be back.
Now seems like a good time
for you to do your thing.
♪
Hear me, ancients.
Khnum, bringer of life,
let one become two,
one soul divided.
♪
[breathing heavily]
That is just so cool.
[chuckles]
It's a doubling spell.
The ancient Egyptians used
these things called Ka doubles
which would stay in the
tombs, but their spirits
could go around during
the day and have fun.
So, you're like her Ka double?
Well, she's my double, 'cause
I can speak but she can't.
And she can only respond to
very simple instructions.
So we need to
I need to stay here
and do boring stuff
while you get to see
the Serpents' lair.
- I'm not doing this for fun.
- It's gonna be dangerous, okay?
Now I really wish I was going.
Get out of here
before Mum gets back.
- And good luck.
- You too.
♪
Hmm
[chuckles] [door closes]
♪
[scoffs] Can you hurry up?
Feeling a little
self-conscious out here.
- Style it out.
- Fashion's all about confidence.
And all these bushes
look the same.
[gasps] I found it.
No, no, actually, let's keep
a low profile until
Theo comes back.
♪
Just so you know, you give
terrible relationship advice.
- You spoke to Theo.
- What happened?
[sighs] When I asked
if she would like to be
more than just friends,
she blanked me.
Hey, my advice was solid.
You must've messed
up the execution.
[chuckles] Not likely.
Well, I'll tell you
exactly what to say
- Safiya, listen carefully.
- The subject is closed.
- But
- Forever.
Okay, if you insist.
[quirky music]
♪
- Change of plan, guys
- We've got a problem
at the docks with an
incoming shipment.
I need to go and sort it out.
Luckily, I found someone to
step in at the last minute.
Attention, class.
Today I shall be instructing you
in matters of
social etiquette
A lesson of which, I am
only too sadly aware,
you are in dire need.
We shall begin.
- Hmm
- You and me both.
Our first lesson
A history of the
English aristocracy.
[suspenseful music]
♪
- [breathing heavily]
- Sorry I'm late.
You ready to go in?
[exhales deeply]
What's the matter?
- What do you mean?
- He means, why do you look
like you've just been dug
up from Senusret's tomb?
I'm I'm I'm fine.
- No, Theo, you're not fine.
- Tell us what's going on.
- Okay, it's
- It's the doubling, okay?
I used a spell to make
a double of myself.
She's in class with
Henry right now.
Maintaining it saps my energy,
sort of seriously saps it.
Great, I've made these
robes for nothing.
I look so good in them.
Okay, h-how long can
you maintain it for?
Long enough to grab the Eye
- I think.
- You think?
There isn't a first-aid
tent in there.
What happens if you're wrong?
Like, what happens to
you if it gets too much?
- Well, it won't come to that.
- We have to call off the plan.
- No, that is not an option.
- I can do this.
[twigs snap]
♪
Perfect, we're all doomed.
♪
And, finally, avoid the
theater at all costs.
Showing off should never be
tolerated, let alone applauded.
Now, on to
conversational skills.
Uh, Theodosia, if asked for
one's opinions on politics,
what should one reply?
Hmm
- I think Theo
- Silence!
Theodosia's answer
was entirely correct.
A lady should have no opinion
whatsoever on politics.
[scoffs] So 19th century.
Henry, what should one say
when riding with the
Duke of Marlborough?
Well, I can't ride so
it'd probably be
[yells] How do you
steer this thing?
[chuckles] No?
Didn't like that
one? Tough crowd.
♪
I've got a seriously
bad feeling about this.
[whispering] We just need
to stick to the plan.
Okay, me and Safiya
create a diversion,
Theo grabs the Eye,
and we get out of here.
♪
All hail Aapep.
All: All hail Aapep.
- A new world is approaching
- A world without rules,
a world where each of
us can be truly free.
All: Chaos is coming.
There are those who
would seek to stop us,
to hold back progress and
maintain the old order,
but the unbelievers
will never win.
They will be
crushed. They will
Wait. I sense something.
The enemies of Aapep may be
in our midst as we speak.
Check everyone.
[snaps fingers]
Show me your wrist.
♪
Serpent.
♪
Show me your tattoo.
And there our lesson must end.
[sighs] Hallelujah.
Fortunately, I
have found someone
to lead you in a program
of physical education.
[whistle blowing, door closes]
Pupils, fall in!
[sighs]
For someone who can't speak,
you really manage to
sum up the moment.
When I say knees up, I mean up.
I never thought I'd say this,
but you should try being
more like your sister.
Faster, Henry, faster!
[whistle blowing]
You're not tired.
No, no, no, you could
keep going on forever.
W-What are you doing?
- That's the spirit.
- We'll have another 100.
The end of the world doesn't
seem so bad right now.
[whistle blowing]
[groans]
We need a different distraction.
♪
Hey, it's me you're looking for!
Grab her.
[indistinct whispering]
♪
What do we do now?
This.
[all coughing]
♪
Not so fast, Miss Throckmorton.
[whistle blowing]
I said I wanted pull-ups,
not dangle downs!
Try harder!
[upbeat rock music]
Excellent, Theodosia.
With this level of fitness,
you could run all
the way to Scotland.
Where is she going?
Uh, Glasgow or
possible Edinburgh.
I said knees up!
[whistle blowing]
♪
- We have to go back.
- Get caught?
How's that gonna help Theo?
We can't just leave her there.
You have power,
Theodosia Throckmorton.
You might've had great power,
but tomorrow the
eclipse will come,
and the Eye will show us the
way to the Staff of Osiris.
Once we have that
we hold the world in our hands.
All: All hail Aapep.
What are they
going to do to her?
- [sighs]
- That's what I'd like to know.
- Theo.
- How?
- Another double.
- You can do that?
Apparently. Now let's get
that sewer grate open.
Time to get back to the plan.
[suspenseful music]
♪
- [coughs]
- Are you okay?
Yeah, as soon as we
get back up there.
[screams] Where is it?
Where is the Eye?
Hmm
Clever girl.
Block all the exits.
We cannot lose the Eye.
♪
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
- You're really not.
- Two doubles is too much.
- Call that one back right now.
- No, she can buy us some time.
I'll do it when we get
back to the carriages.
I can make it.
- No! Theo, Theo, please.
- No, come on, get up.
Theo, Theo, get up.
Come on, please.
If you don't get up right now,
I'm gonna make you talk about
lipstick shades for a month.
Anything but that.
Come on, get up.
Let's hope they find our robes.
Oh, Theo!
♪
Where did they go?
They used the sewer to escape.
Go.
[suspenseful music]
Don't let them get away.
♪
Okay, not too far to go.
Okay.
♪
[carriage door closes]
We're safe, Theo.
Call the doubles back.
- [breathlessly]
- One soul united.
- [breathlessly]
- Just stop running and
♪
[echoing] Aah!
[groans] Thank goodness.
I can't feel my legs.
[pounds on roof] Drive!
[horse neighs]
Just never do that again.
I'll second that, or
should I say double?
- Or triple?
- [chuckles]
It was a Theo trio.
[light music]
♪
About time.
And where, may I
ask, is your sister?
She'll be right here.
She's just just
practicing her squat jumps.
Excellent.
You know, I think I might
suggest to your mother
that my physical-education
sessions
become a regular event, huh?
[groans]
♪
I can't believe we
actually did it.
I always said it was
a brilliant plan.
Well, we we
We should celebrate.
I wouldn't plan any
parades too soon.
Oh, cheer up, will you?
We just stole the Eye from
right under their noses.
- Exactly.
- The eclipse is tomorrow.
The Serpents know they need
to get the Eye back by then.
Or their whole plan fails.
[suspenseful music]
We just painted a big
target on our backs.
♪