True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e09 Episode Script

"True Jackson, VP" Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
Anyone want the last carrot? I do.
Dibs.
I'll play you for it.
With socks, paper, lizards? Don't you mean Rock, paper, scissors? What planet are you from? Is anyone expecting A package? The label fell off.
That's probably for me.
My mom threw out my ant farm So I ordered another one.
Ryan, what did I tell you about [**.]
to my office? You didn't say anything about ant.
[**.]
Oops, my bad.
See you later.
Wait.
This said it's for Max madigan.
Why does Mr.
Madigan Want ants? He wouldn't.
No one in the right mind would.
I bet it's a boxful of money Or gold bars.
Do you know how heavy Gold bars are? Not that heavy.
Can you take this To Mr.
Madigan's office, please? I got a better plan.
Someone else do it.
I got a bellyful of carrots And I need to nap.
Mr.
Madigan, They brought this To my office by accident But it's for you.
It's either ants or money.
Really? I love getting packages Almost as much as I love These great scarves From our new line.
I love the bold colors: Orange and blue.
Fire and water.
Hot and cold.
Orange juice, prune juice.
We're gonna have Some special guests At the meeting today.
Oh, I can't help it.
These special guests are donuts.
Wait until the meeting.
I'll see you both in 15 minutes In the conference room.
Goodbye, Mr.
Madigan.
Later, Mr.
Madigan.
Is it me or is Mr.
Madigan The happiest guy on earth? Well, after bonkers.
Who's bonkers? The clown that performed At my brother's birthday.
That guy could not stop smiling.
These are the best Two scarves You people came up with? But, Max, I thought you liked them.
Remember, fire and water.
Huh.
More like pumpkins And bluebirds.
Do you know what The bluebirds do to pumpkins? They massacre them Leaving a gruesome trail Of pulp and seeds.
Is that the image you want Going through people's minds When they're shopping? Well, I dearly know it.
I'll tell you one thing, Donut day Is officially canceled.
Koppelman.
Koppelman.
Get on the ball, people.
What is going on With Mr.
Madigan? He's like a totally Different person.
Lulu, are you eating a donut? Lulu? from my head to my toes it's so real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e-j-a-c-k-s-o-n-v-p working at a grown-up job never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in the office as a new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know what's going down 'cause I'm the new vp (I'm the new vp) man, Mr.
Madigan Was so angry.
I haven't seen anyone that mad Since that goose stole My dad's sandwich.
He chased that thing Until it got dark.
We were all, "dad, get in the car," "We're sleepy.
" Something must have set him off.
Bosses get angry.
When I worked At the grocery store My boss was mad at me 24/7.
That's because you used To rap the specials On the store intercom.
Oh, you mean like, "attention, shoppers.
" "there is a sale on peas" "broccoli looks like" "tiny little trees" "if you go to the salad bar" "please don't sneeze.
" "my manager's breath" "smells like stinky cheese" "which is also on sale" "aisle nine.
" "Peace.
" yeah.
I don't know why they fired you.
We need to figure out What set Mr.
Madigan off.
It had to have happened In between the 15 minutes When we saw him in his office And the staff meeting.
She wants To see him smile again Just let me kick it With a couple of beats.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Did Mr.
Madigan receive Any bad news Before the staff meeting? Not that I know of.
Any suspicious phone calls? No.
These phone lines Had been as cold As sarafina Cunningham's art.
Who? Oh, nothing.
No one.
Just a character From this dumb tv show Nobody watches.
You know a show Is really dumb, "celebrity seesaw.
" I mean, the big guy always wins, Just the same every episode.
Oscar, I noticed the mail Hasn't arrived.
Not yet.
Well, let me know When it does.
I'm expecting a letter Of interscholastic importanance.
This letter, Might it be coming from Captain hop-along star blaster? You watch "space plantation"? Oh, from time to time.
Whenever it's on.
Every night.
there's a place with a farm there's a place there's a place and this place with a farm is up in space space plantation life moves at a different pace space plantation new home for the human race Mr.
Madigan? I don't see him in here.
All I see is the box he got.
Wait a minute.
I bet whatever made him mad Is inside that thing.
Yeah.
What do you think is in it? Horse poop.
Twenty pounds of horse poop.
That'd make me super mad, Especially, If you wrote lollipops On the box.
Come on.
Let's go look at it.
Lulu, you can't just Go in there.
I guess you can.
So, he got a tuxedo, Some sketchbooks.
Charm bracelet, A bunch of berets.
Family of macrame ducks.
Wait, what did you say? Macrame ducks.
I think, we should go.
I'm getting A little creped out.
Because of ducks? I don't know if you saw A little movie called "duck, duck spooky" But I did two years ago And I literally Haven't slept since.
It's about an evil troll Who captures your soul And puts it into puppets, Duck puppets.
These ducks Don't have souls, Ryan.
They're just made out of yarn.
Hey, check it out.
There's a matching sort of Scary yarn ducks over there.
Oh, yeah, Like there's gonna be Weird.
What do all these stuff mean? Who's making Microwave popcorn? Now, the whole office Smells buttery.
What are we gonna do? Hide.
Excuse me.
But just what do you think You're doing in here? Who me? Yes, you.
I don't see anyone else here.
That's well, that's good.
I didn't know why I did that.
Why are you here? I was looking for true.
In my office? I gotta stop doing that.
What on earth are you doing? I don't know.
Look, I'm just a dumb kid.
I don't even know where I am And all I want to do Is find my friend.
Hey.
Hey there, little guy.
No need to get so upset.
You'll find her.
You promise? You bet.
Well, what if I get lost? I don't even have $10 To my name.
Here's a 20, kid.
Go find your friend.
Thank you.
I've got a little present For you.
Is it a box Full of lollipops? No.
It's this.
Quack.
Oh.
I found a clue.
The label says, "made especially for Max madigan" "By Sophie girard.
" who's Sophie girard? Only the most cutting edge Designer in Paris.
She practically invented Gree-tur-ple - what's that? Green, turquoise and purple.
Up until then, nobody dared To put those colors together.
They didn't know what happened.
Hey, look.
Something is in here.
It's addressed to Mr.
Madigan.
Open it.
You're not supposed to open Other people's letters.
I could go to jail.
If you do, As soon as you get there Punch the biggest person you see And be all, "who else want some? Hmm.
" I have no choice.
I'm gonna read the card But only because I really, Really, really want Mr.
Madigan To be happy again.
"dear Max, this box contains" "the last of your belongings" "that you left in Paris.
" "I often think" "about our wonderful days" "Along the seine.
" Oh, how romantic.
"much has happened" "since I last saw you.
" "For instance, I got married.
" She did what now? I can't believe it.
I know.
Max has been to Paris.
Ooh, la, la.
This must be why He has been so upset today.
The poor guy's heartbroken.
Well, case closed.
No, case not closed.
The case still open.
We need to make him feel better.
How? I don't know.
I wish I knew what happened Between them.
You're gonna waste a wish On that? If I had a wish, I'd wish for a talking pony Made of chocolate.
Would it just be begging you To stop eating it? Not if you eat Its voice box first.
I bet Amanda knows What happened.
Mean girls always know gossip.
She's outside Talking to Oscar again.
I'll go get her.
I don't know Why you're wasting Your matchmaking skills on Mr.
M When I am still in the market.
You do not want a girlfriend.
All you care about Is playing video games And not getting yelled at.
You wanted to see me? Yeah.
We were wondering If you could tell us What happened Between Mr.
Madigan And Sophie girard.
Unless you like Getting screamed at, At morning meetings, Don't ever mention her name In this office ever again, Ever, ever, ever, ever.
Who? Sophie girard? Ever.
We just want to know What happened so we could help.
I will say this only once.
Five years ago, Max met Sophie While touring a silk factory In France.
Yeah.
A long story, short, They spent When they came out, They were engaged.
That sounds beautiful.
It was, Until she broke it off Without any explanation.
Max is still holding out hope That she'll come back.
He sends her a charm For her charm bracelet Every single month.
Why a charm bracelet? Max believes It's the most romantic piece Of jewelry on earth.
Oh.
You wanna know what I think The most romantic piece Of jewelry is? Oh, it's got to be a Psyched.
You guys thought I was gonna finish That sentence, didn't you? But forget it Because romance is lame.
Newsflash.
If Max hears you talking About anything That has to do with someone Who's name rhymes With loffi papard, He'll fire you on the spot.
On second thought, Maybe you should talk to him About it.
Then I can turn your office Into an extra closet.
What are you gonna do? I've got a plan.
Don't tell me You're gonna fix him up With someone else? I'm gonna fix him up With someone else.
My mom says You never get over a crush Until you find a new one.
What? Everyone deserves love.
Not old people.
But you heard Amanda.
If you get involved, Mr.
Madigan will fire you.
I don't care if he fires me.
I just wanna see Mr.
Madigan happy.
We're finding him a girlfriend.
Leave me alone.
I mean, come in.
Hi, Mr.
Madigan.
Got a second? Sure, true.
Although I must admit I'm not In the best mood right now.
Oh, that's okay.
We're doing a survey And we're wondering If you could answer A few questions About what people think About things.
How refreshingly vague.
Go ahead.
Generally, do you like Short people or tall people? Short people, They're fantastic.
Do you like serious people Or kind of funny? Funny, but not blue.
There's no call For that kind of language.
How do you feel About potatoes? Not a fan, Unless they're mashed Then I love them.
If you were stuck On a desert island With one book, What would it be? Probably some sort of manual On how to get off an island.
Can we get back To the potato question For a second? Ladies, look.
I'm a little busy.
How many more questions Do you have? Six hundred.
What about My great aunt mushke? She's really short And she loves mashed potatoes.
Isn't she like 80? How old is Mr.
Madigan? I don't know but not 80.
Anyone over 17 Might as well be 80.
That's right, I said it.
What about Mrs.
Mora? Who? You know, Mr.
Mora's wife.
Do you even know What we're doing here? We're trying to find A single woman for Mr.
Madigan To fall in love with.
Wait, he likes reading.
What about the school librarian, Ms.
Aidem? Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Our school has a library? I feel so empty without you.
Not me.
I'm so happy I could sing.
Mr.
Madigan? Yes.
Okay.
Well, I'm just gonna say it.
I know about Sophie girard.
You're fired.
Well, I kind of thought Amanda was exaggerating But okay.
I just hate to see you sad.
Oh, I I know.
I appreciate it, true.
You can have your job back.
Thanks.
But seriously, Maybe if you met someone else, You'd forget all about Sophie girard.
You're fired.
Mr.
Madigan.
Sorry.
You're rehired.
It's good to have you back.
Probably better not to say Her name again, though.
There's this really Nice woman from my school And I'm thinking You might like her.
You know, like her like her.
And then you forget well Forget about what, true? I'd rather not say.
Sophie girard? Yeah.
You're fired.
But I didn't say it That time.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Calm down.
You can have your job back.
Remember that nice woman From my school I was telling you about? The one you mentioned Eight seconds ago? Yes, I remember.
Well, she's downstairs Waiting in happy Berry yum yum.
You did what now? Come on, Mr.
Madigan.
What do you have to lose? My dignity.
It's just so embarrassing To go on a date.
What if people from work see me? Don't worry.
No one from work Ever goes there.
So who's your favorite Character? Definitely odar, The ship's receptionist.
He's so funny And you know he's tapped in To everything that's going on.
I've never noticed it before.
Who do you like? I truly enjoy Susandra villandry.
You're kidding.
She's so evil.
Evil? But she's just a strong woman Who knows what she wants.
Can I get a napkin over here? There she is.
She's very attractive.
I'll be upstairs if you need me.
No, after your date.
I can't believe you're nervous.
Mr.
Madigan, this is Ms.
Aidem.
Ms.
Aidem, this is Mr.
Madigan.
You can call me Max.
Doris.
I like your suit.
I designed it.
Well, see you later.
What are you doing here? It's a free country.
We can lurk here if we want to.
Oh, don't let Mr.
Madigan see you Because he doesn't want Anyone he knows to see him here.
Don't worry, We're practically invisible.
Let's get out of here.
Oh, hi, Amanda.
What the heck Are you doing here? Well, if you must know, I'm giving Oscar An impromptu performance review And he's not taking it Very well.
So, true tells me You love movies.
Not movies, moving.
I love moving.
I've had 18 different apartments In the last three years.
If I stay in one place too long, It's like I can't breathe.
Oh look, she's getting up.
Let's sit over here.
Actually, what do you say I buy you a yogurt? That sounds great.
I've never had yogurt before.
You've never had yogurt? No.
I'm told it's cold.
Do you think if things Were different, Odar and susandra Could ever be friends? That would be tough.
I mean, they're from Two different worlds, literally.
Well, he's from The eighth moon of blargon And she's from queens.
Tell me the first one again.
Vanilla.
And that's different From chocolate, how? I'm not sure How to answer that.
You know what? I'm gonna throw caution To the wind.
I'll have vanilla.
Wow.
I like the new me.
Would you like any toppings? They have over a hundred.
What's happening? So there were no sparks At all? Well, not until she threw A stool at the yogurt machine.
Oh, hi, Mr.
Madigan.
I am so sorry.
I heard Ms.
Aidem Had sort of a freak out.
Sort of? She went full tilt bananas, And I loved it.
What? She's the most exciting Ball of crazy I've ever met.
We're going to Latvia On Wednesday.
Wait, Mr.
Madigan.
Can you back up? It doesn't seem The way she acted Is exactly what you had On your list.
That's just it, true.
Love isn't about lists.
Love is about a feeling you get In your stomach Like when you see The woman of your dreams Hurling napkin dispenser Across a crowded yogurt store.
Well, that's great.
Maybe she'll help you Get your mind off Of Sophie girard.
Maybe you're right And I owe it all to you.
Thank you.
Oh, by the way, We might be having A special guest At the morning meeting tomorrow.
Donuts? No, Doris.
She's never sat In a swivel chair before.
Have you ever heard anything So cute? Yes.
Are we alone? Yes, everyone's gone.
Finally.
Dare we? The heart wants What the heart wants.
Coming up, "space plantation" In hd where available.
It's too bad We don't have any there's a place with a farm there's a place there's a place and this place with a farm is up in space space plantation life moves at a different pace space plantation new home to the human race tonight's episode, "gunfight" "At the blargon corral.
" I love this one.
Odar really saves the day.
Wait.
Which one's odar? I'm looking for my boyfriend, Max madigan.
He said he lived here.
I see.
And are you getting married? Oh, gosh, no.
I just put this on at night To feel pretty.
Oh, are you guys watching "space plantation"? Why? Do you watch it too? No way, That shows for freaks.