Ultimate Spider-Man (2011) s01e09 Episode Script

1x09 - Field Trip [Coulson.]
A Nordic rune stone.
We used to believe that the legends of Asgard were myth.
Names like Odin, Loki, and, of course, the Mighty Thor.
I know what you're thinking.
Normally Peter Parker is that bookworm at the head of class.
What's he doing back here? Answer.
It's a field trip.
And Peter Parker hates field trips.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ok, so the spider thing worked out, but it's a good thing that goat didn't have radioactive powers.
Bah! Ew! Ugh! Today, things change.
Today, I'm prepared for anything.
What? It's a rock.
I studied ancient texts in Kun Lun.
Let me see.
"Warrior be afraid of the coming winter?" Ah! Uh-oh! [screaming.]
[roars.]
Huh? [sighs.]
Field trips.
[screaming.]
Buddy system! Now.
No man gets left behind! You're on.
- What is that thing? - You read the rock.
While you guys figure that out, I'm gonna go mano-a-gianto.
Oh yeah? Get in line! Spidey, you're up! We need to get Frosty to chill out! Stand down, bug boy.
I can handle this.
[shouting.]
I don't know about you guys, but I want to see how Nova handled this in slo-mo.
Ooh! Totally not handled.
Uh who are you talkin' to? Come out! I'll go sunlight all over you [Iron Fist.]
You must have a weak spot.
Dude, now is not the time to be thinking about it! Iron Fist, stop waiting for the perfect move.
Power Man, don't just jump into [both.]
Tiger! [grunting.]
Less talking, more teamwork! Right, Mr.
Abominable Snow thing? Oh! Cold, cold, cold, cold! Whoa! [grunting.]
Yikes.
We're not doing so hot.
Wait, was that "hot" a pun or just an expression? 'Cause, really, you could do better.
- Is that - Oh yeah.
New York City! Are you ready to rock! Put your hands together for the Son of Odin, Avenger, the wielder of lightning, the biggest, baddest super Viking of all time the Mighty Thor! For Asgard! Stand back.
The matters of Asgard are no place for oddly dressed younglings.
Did he just call us younglings? And oddly dressed! Yeah, Sam maybe.
[growling.]
I'm in classic red and blue.
All the greats dress this way.
Thor, look! We've got amazing spider powers, mad bad super strength, kung fu master, mystic Tiger mojo, and annoying cosmic bucket-head lad! Hey! We can help you take down that big ugly.
Your bravery is admirable.
But, the "big ugly," as you call it, is a frost giant not a common thief.
Uh-uh.
Did he just dis us? He'd have to notice us to "dis us.
" Fortune was merciful on you today.
You could have been hurt.
Thor, we can take care of ourselves! Aye.
Someday I'm sure you will make fine warriors.
Go.
Fetch son of Coul.
Inform him the trouble has been handled.
Son of Coul? You mean Coulson? He called you in? We didn't need you.
You didn't notice, but we're a pretty solid team.
Whoa, whoa.
I wouldn't go that far.
Let the team leader handle this.
If you're team leader, then start acting like one and cut the solo act, web-head.
Hang on! I'll worry about leading, you worry about listening.
What's that around your neck, giant? Let's take a deep breath.
Remember he who angers you, conquers you.
We wouldn't have any problems if you all listened to reason.
Spidey sense! Thor! Don't touch that! [stuttering.]
I mean don't touch that, Thor, sir.
I have a bad feeling about it.
Stand down, little one.
The matter is well in hand.
[yelling.]
Thor? Laugh or drop in shock? Ow! Ow! Ow! [ribbits.]
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ow! Stop that! Ahh.
Sorry.
It's just that from this angle, you're a frog.
There is only one in all the nine worlds who could have accomplished such bewitchments.
- The wizard of Oz? - My evil half-brother, Loki.
Our father, Odin, is the ruler of Asgard.
Ever since he was a child, Loki has sought that power for his own.
There's no mischief that my brother will not attempt to disgrace me, usurp my father's throne, and seize control of Midgard and the rest of the nine worlds.
[Spider-Man.]
Midgard? That's Earth right? Man, this sounds familiar.
[Coulson.]
And what is, if I may mix mythologies, Loki's achilles heel? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Hey, what do you think? Awesome, right? I'm gonna see if Fury will pay for the spikes.
- [Coulson.]
anyone? - [Peter.]
Outta the way sam.
Relax, Parker.
When you ever gonna need to know this stuff? Let this be a lesson, kids.
Pay attention in school.
Trouble is at hand! I must return to Asgard at once.
I get it.
You're hopping mad at your bro! Ok, that one was lame.
They can't all be winners.
But come on, Thor.
You're not exactly in a position to exact revenge.
I am still Thor the Thunderer! Loki will face my [fly buzzing.]
[swallows.]
Ok we're coming with you.
Where I go is no place for mortals.
Thor, you said Loki plans to conquer the nine worlds.
Earth is one of those worlds, right? Oh, not to mention there's that eency-weency detail that you are a frog! [sighs.]
[ribbits.]
[clears throat.]
Oh, so be it.
Thou art entering the realm of Asgard.
Prepare for wonders beyond your imagination.
Sweet! Asgard covered in ice? No! Then Loki has already seized control.
Beware young heroes.
And me without my snowboard.
- [Thor.]
Loki, come out! - Thor! All right, guys! Time to uh-oh.
Apologies for the chilly reception, brother Nothing? Not even a sneer of disdain for my spell of containment? - Loki! - Well, I hope you appreciate the effort it took to drag you and your accursed hammer all the way here from Midgard.
Brother, release me or I'll It was so easy to use your arrogance against you, brother.
You never could resist showing off against frost giants.
One reason why I made a pact with them.
I simply set the stage and you came blustering in, warts and all.
So many frog jokes, the mind reels.
This magical stone of norn is what transformed you but it was your pride that made you a toad.
With it, I keep everyone in Asgard locked in ice.
As for our dear father, he sleeps, recharging his powers in the Odinsleep, dreaming in his chambers, unaware that my frost giants will soon make his rest more permanent.
[grunts.]
What I have been denied these long centuries is at last within my grasp.
Thor dishonored.
Loki triumphant! Spider-Man: Joki! Sorry to ruin the sib moment, but we might have something to say about all that triumphant stuff.
How we doing on the "ist-fay of iron-way" action? Patience is a virtue.
Then there are these.
I wonder, Thor, keeping pets of your own? He did not just call us pets This coming from a girl dressed as a cat? Found it! Ah! Bring it! Hi-ya! - Nova, get the frog! - Do I have to touch it? [Nova.]
Come on out, froggy! Ahh! [Thor.]
To me, Mjolnir! Loki! Gird thyself, villain! Let's take 'em! Hi-ya! One side, spidey comin' through! [yelling.]
[both grunt.]
Whoa! We're not gonna win! Hey, frog Prince! I'm ordering a tactical retreat.
Get us outta here! By Odin's beard this is humiliating.
No! [grunting.]
What are we thinking? Fleeing from battle? The son of Odin never [Spider-Man.]
Will you stow the attitude? Nobody likes to run away.
Personally, the only thing I hate more than running away is getting obliterated.
Which is exactly what would've happened if we'd stayed! We need a spitball, folks.
Rally forces.
Inventory strengths.
Assess weakness.
You know, come up with a real plan.
Oh yeah? And who put you in charge? I was doing pretty good back there.
- You broke a fish bowl.
- Come on! Fighting among ourselves isn't helping anyone.
[Thor.]
Spider-Man's words ring true.
Loki has gained advantage by exploiting my pride.
My rush to battle may have doomed us all.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
We all could have handled this better.
You are mortals.
I am not.
[ribbits.]
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
Thor you were right.
This Asgard business may be too tough for us mortals.
What we need to do is lose the enchantment around you.
I've got it! Ava, kiss the frog.
What? You kiss the frog! Nuh-uh, that's not how it works.
I've seen the movie.
An idea.
Yes, the odds are long, but there may be someone who Loki has ignored in his conquest.
He may offer us both a chance at tipping the scales back in our favor.
Are we almost there? I'm freezing to death.
Fighting Loki would've been faster.
If we ever get back alive, no one will believe us unless we bring back souvenirs.
Do you guys have Odin bobble heads? I smell [sniffs.]
s'mores? We are here.
The home of the dwarf Eitri, master forger.
A dwarf! Lollipop guild or classic dopey? I'd say classic dopey.
Master dwarf, it is I, Thor the Thunderer, son of Odin the all-father.
I come on an urgent [sighs.]
I know, I know.
Make this, sign here, fix that, pull there - But, but - I knew the moment you walked in, Thor Odinson.
I made your hammer.
Greatest weapon in the nine worlds, but did you come to thank me? Did you visit? Write? No! You come only when you need something.
Scratch that.
He's grumpy.
You want help? This is where you turn around the whole arrogant Prince thing.
Just sayin' I ap I apologize.
You deserve the highest respect, master dwarf.
The Prince of Asgard should have accorded you that respect.
For that, I am sorry.
Hmm.
Your stateas taught you some humility.
If a Prince can bow to a dwarf, perhaps there is still hope left in Asgard.
Hope for you all.
Now what can a dwarf do for you, my frog Prince? At last! Knock knock, father.
Who's there? Death! Long live Loki! [ribbits.]
[sighs.]
You again? Looks like we'll be serving frog's legs at my coronation feast.
Destroy him! Huh? Surprise! The gift shop was all out of bobble heads.
Ok team, let's show 'em what we can do! On my count we Hey, wait for me! To defeat Loki, each must turn their shortfall into strength.
This bow draws on your ability to see flaws in others yet requires absolute concentration to fire.
Block out distractions.
focus on the task ahead, and you will find your aim to be straight and true.
Take them now! [roaring.]
This halberd is difficult to balance.
It requires a steady hand.
Be patient.
Pick the right moment.
Then unleash your power.
Yaah! There is no margin for error with this short sword.
You cannot wait for opportunity.
You must make your own.
Trust your instincts.
Attack! Whaa! You hesitate to unleash your full power.
You hold back and use your powers defensively.
This axe is meant to attack.
Use your power.
Wield it.
Own it.
And me? What about me? You? You have had the power inside you all along.
But you must fully accept your charge.
You have others who trust you.
Lead them.
[sighs.]
Sometimes it reeks being the title character.
You have to act like "learning a lesson" is somehow better than getting a cool weapon.
Power Man and Iron Fist on the left! Nova and Th-rog on the right! White Tiger, you're with me! Show 'em what ya got! Swing and a hit! Yah! - Tiger, he's all yours.
- Got him! Two snow cones, comin' up! You thought you could defeat Asgard's warriors? I say thee [ribbits.]
Fear the Frog of Thunder.
You wont stop me! I will destroy my father! You broke the doors! This is why we can't have nice stuff! Stand aside, mortal.
Odin's end is nigh.
Ok.
Me versus Loki.
This isn't going to end well.
Not unless I use my strongest weapon Your words you use as armor to protect yourself from a unkind world, today you must turn them into a weapon.
Hey, Loogie! You really wanna take over the world like this? [sighs.]
What are you prattling on about? You know they're gonna say you never really "earned" it.
You totally stealth-froze people when they weren't looking, hired some giant snow cones, big whoop! You.
Then Odin.
Then the universe.
The only way you'd ever really get respect is to take out Thor, who's a frog! Big deal, frog slayer! Good bye, brother! No one will challenge my rightful claim to He didn't just fall for that, did he? Well, color me Aladdin! The trickster tricked by a mortal? He is no mere mortal.
He is the Man of Spiders.
Close enough.
Stay on your guard, Spider-Man, for the rest of your useless life! Don't go away mad, Loki.
Just go away! Ah, my father still sleeps.
Shh.
Till we meet again, friends.
Your names shall be sung in the halls of Valhalla! I'd settled for a T-shirt, or those weapons! The dwarves will keep them safe in case you have need of them again.
But perhaps this will satisfy? A traditional hero of Asgard reward.
[bleating.]
Whoa.
Awesome! But how can we share this as a team? You can have it.
- All yours.
You deserve.
- Best field trip ever.
Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!