Victorious s01e09 Episode Script
Wi-Fi in the Sky
- aloft airlines welcomes you Aboard flight 18141.
- hey Tori.
Hey.
- what? - is this chicken? - I think It might be pineapple.
Or part of a thumb.
- ulch.
I can't eat airplane food.
Too gross.
Ulch.
- and why is this now On my tray table? - 'cause I'm done with it.
- I don't care If you're done with it.
Keep your garbage on - hey, hey, kid! I told you to stop kicking My seat.
- so? - stop that! - you're not the queen Of this plane.
- excuse me.
Will you please do something About your son? - will you stop kicking Her seat? - no.
- some people are so rude.
- I know.
- this is Captain stubing.
Sorry about our late start Today.
We should be arriving In Los Angeles At around 11:14 P.
M.
- wait, what time did he say? - 11:14.
- aw, great.
3 1/2 late.
- why do you care? - I'm supposed to meet andre, Beck and cat to write a script For class that's due In the morning.
- what teacher? - gradstein.
- ooh, he's tough.
- no chiz.
- what is "chiz" anyway? - andre thinks It's a German sausage.
- --water.
- thank you.
- can I get you anything? - uh, excuse me? - yes? - does this plane have wi-fi? - no, but we do have wireless Internet service.
- that's what wi-fi is.
- please don't give me Attitude.
- what are you doing? - I'm gonna see If andre's online So we can work over video chat.
- oh, smart.
Maybe you guys can, uh-- Did you just kick my seat again? - why don't you ask your butt? - look, if you don't Knock it off, I'm gonna tell The flight attendant.
- ooh, you're a scary witch.
- I wish I was a witch 'cause I would take My broomstick and I would - trina, sit.
- oh, good.
Andre's online.
- I need some more air.
- you have a pimple Under your arm.
- don't talk about it.
- Tori Vega, what's up? - hey, I'm on the plane.
- you're on the plane? Well if I were you, I'd get in the plane.
So you're on the plane? - and I'm not gonna land Until after 11:00.
- oh, but we gotta write That script for class.
- I know.
Wanna do it over video chat? - yeah, sure.
I'll text cat and Beck And tell 'em to get online.
- cool.
- will you pop this for me? - no.
- I let you borrow My green sweater last week.
- and that means I should pop your pit pimple?! - yes! We're sisters.
If you had a pit pimple, I'd-- Quit kicking my seat! - quit kickin' my seat! - your desserts.
- what is this? - I dunno, pudding? - aww.
It's got fur on it.
- just like your pimple.
- oh.
[music.]
here I am once again feeling lost but now and then I breathe it in to let it go and you don't know where you are now or what it would come to if only somebody could hear when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction not a fantasy just remember me when it turns out right 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination in my victory just remember me when I make it shine [music.]
- woo.
You're a long one.
- hey, tori.
- oh.
Hey, uh, did you get cat And Beck? - yeah, they're about To get online.
- nice.
Where are you? - at my grandma's house.
- why are you At your grandma's? - she called me And said she was scared 'cause the numbers Kept changin' On her digital clock.
- isn't that what clocks do? - all I know is, When I got here, She was hidin' under her bed.
- did you get her out? - uh-huh, But I had to use butter.
Oh, cat's on.
- yep, I see.
Let me invite her.
- hey, are you gonna eat Your pudding? - you ate yours? - yeah, I just scraped the fur Right off the top, It wasn't bad.
- go nuts.
- hi.
- whassup, little red? - hey, cat.
- andre! - one sec.
What's wrong, grandma? - the numbers on my clock Changed again! - it's a clock, grandma.
The numbers are supposed To change.
- what happened to my butter? - I'll go to the store tomorrow And get you some more butter.
[screaming.]
- what was that? - my grandmother just screamed.
- why, what happened? - I don't know.
I think she saw herself In a mirror.
- andre! There's another me on the wall! - it's okay, grandma! Just introduce yourself.
I'm sure she's nice.
- Beck's online.
- oh, yeah.
- requesting - ow! - what? - that rotten kid behind me Kicked my seat again And made me poke my eye.
- I didn't kick your seat.
- you did too.
- how's your pit zit? - that tears it! - trina! Trina! He's a little boy.
- yeah and I'm about to put him Into a little hospital.
- you requested my face? - hey, man.
- hi.
- hey, Beck.
- is that a dog with you? - aw, look at the puppy.
- he's cute, huh? - so cute.
- is he yours? - nah, I'm watchin' him For my neighbor while she's At her cheerleading practice.
- you live next door To a cheerleader? - I do.
- figures.
I live next door To a one-legged old man Who throws lemons at me.
- so, what's up? - tori's plane's late.
- I don't get in Till almost midnight.
- but we gotta write the script For gradstein's class.
- yeah, so we're gonna do it Here over video chat.
- oh, sounds good.
- all right.
I will type - cat, read the assignment.
- 'kay, 'kay.
It says, Write a single-scene script, Between 7 and 10 pages.
The scene must involve A mystery--ooh-- Use at least 3 characters, And have a surprise plot Twist.
- got it.
- we can do that.
- ideas? - hey, you guys wanna hear A cute joke? - a joke? - yeah.
Listen.
Okay.
What did the young shrimp say When his mom asked him Why he wouldn't share Any of his toys? - what? - sorry, I'm a little shellfish.
Get it? 'cause shrimp Are very self-centered.
- I think the joke Is that shellfish sounds Like selfish.
- oh, my God.
That's even funnier.
Okay, back to the script.
- hey.
What if our script's about a kid Who goes into a closet To look for something and--ulch.
- what? - who was that? - Robbie's requesting To join our chat.
- hey.
- hi.
- 'sup? - hey, Rob.
- hey, Robbie.
What did the young shrimp say When his mom asked-- - I'm a little shellfish, You told me yesterday.
- poo.
- listen, I need your guys' help.
- you need professional help.
- I don't either! - Robbie - we're trying to work On a script That's due in the morning.
- this'll just take a second.
- okay, what's your problem? - well, on Friday at school, I asked Rex if he wanted To see a movie with me On Sunday night.
True or false? - you said, "how would you feel "about seein' a movie On Sunday night?" And I said, "sounds like a plan.
" - exactly.
And now it's Sunday night And Rex says he has other plans.
- which I do.
- why would you go And make other plans When you said you'd see a movie With me? - you guys.
- I never said I would see a movie with you.
I said, "sounds like a plan.
" - what's the difference? - you never called me To confirm.
- I'm gonna get a rootbeer.
- Robbie, Rex, you guys Work this out yourselves.
- bye, Robbie.
- wait, no, don't kick us out Of the chat! No, don't! - all right, Back to our script.
- hey, what if we write About a giraffe Who learns to love? - a giraffe? - that's not good.
- no.
- let's just stick with the kid In the closet.
- right.
So I was thinking, Maybe he comes home from school Looking for something, And he goes into his closet, And there's like a small, Secret door in the back of--cat.
What are you doing? - I clicked on rainbow.
Woooooooo.
-ill you please stop that? - we gotta do this project.
- sorry.
- now where were we? - uh, the kid goes Into his closet.
- right.
And maybe it's not a normal kid.
Maybe he's like created By scientists In a government lab or - who's that? - jade.
Let me see what she wants.
- aww.
- hey, look.
We're doing this project That's due tomorrow morning, So - where have you been? - home.
Why? - I left you a voicemail And you haven't called me back.
- I'm doing homework.
- so you wanna break up With me.
- wait.
No.
No.
Why would you think That I want to break up With you - why do you have that animal? - my neighbor's dog.
- his neighbor the cheerleader.
- cheerleader? - why? Why would you say that? - sorry.
- you know What cheerleaders have? Pep.
- pep? - did she say pep? - why are you doing favors For a cheerleader, And what is she doing for you? - it's not what you think.
She's just - I'm coming over there.
- no, no.
You don't need to - all right.
So far we have nothing.
So it'd be great if we could do A little writing together, okay? - look! I'm in a kaleidoscope.
- oh, how does she do that? - you just click effects On the lower left.
- this is not a time For effects.
- wooooooooooo.
- hey, look at me! You guys are giving me A headache.
- andre - ooh! I'm getting dizzy.
Look at me, I'm spinning around.
- what effect is that? - it's spinning clockwise.
- why tell her that?! - whoa.
Look at me.
- we're not making progress.
- here I go! - andre, I need you to focus And keep your eyes - I'm spinning.
I can't focus on anything.
- it's like a space ship.
- I'm princess rotation.
- you guys.
We have a project to work on.
I'm not gonna sit here and watch You guys spin clockwise! - hey, you heard the lady.
Ready? - counterclockwise! - oh.
Reverse! We're in reverse now.
- that's not what I meant.
- look at me Going back in time.
- when did I become The mature one? - I don't know.
Quit it! - make me! - oh, I'm gonna make you, kid.
- you guys.
This is no time To fool around.
- you cannot treat me Like that.
Excuse me.
Your son is being a brat.
- all right.
So the little boy yells Will you stop that? - what?! - stop dancing in your seat Like a weirdo! So the little boy yells what? - how about, "mom! There's evil in my closet! Eviiiilll!" - okay.
Good.
How do I spell eviiiilll? - use four is and three ls.
- got it.
Okay.
Now, why don't we say The mom walks into the closet To find her son's face Being eaten by - look! Now I'm a cherry pie.
I'm pie girl! But don't bite off my nose.
- cat! We have a 10-page script Due tomorrow morning And we're on page three, And you're not helping at all.
Now will you please stop Acting like a child?! - there she goes.
- look.
I didn't mean to yell at you.
Please don't cry.
I was frustrated because--oh.
- what happened? - I made cat cry And she signed off.
- well, you have to learn To be more careful With people's feelings.
- stop kicking my seat You worthless little nub! - shut up, old lady! - are you gonna let your kid Talk to me that way?! - I gotta take a wazz.
- enjoy your wazz! - so where are we In the script? - still page three.
The boy says, "mom! "there's evil in my closet! Eviiilll!" - right.
- oh, yeah.
- okay.
So next, Why don't we say the closet Starts turning into, like, A fiery den of - is that Robbie again? - yeah.
He wants to re-join our chat.
- no.
- deny it.
- denied.
- move back.
- where are you going? - the tanning salon.
Where do you think I'm going? I gotta take a wazz.
- the nub's dad Is in the bathroom.
- I'm not going back there.
I'm gonna go pee In the first class lavatory.
- you're not allowed to.
- yeah, yeah.
Move.
- ah! - ah! What was that?! - that was trina's butt.
- that was horrible.
- your sister's a freak.
- yeah.
I know.
- but she's kinda hot.
- did you just call My sister hot? - yep.
But you're hotter.
- so, who is your new Boyfriend there? - not cute, andre.
[knocking.]
- what's that noise? - open the door.
- is that jade? - yeah.
I'm busy working On a project! - I need to talk to you.
- sorry.
Door's locked.
[door being forcefully opened.]
Now it's not locked.
- she has a key? - no, she has a foot.
- what is going on? - you just kicked my door open.
- put the dog down and tell me About this cheerleader chick Who lives next door.
- I'm not gonna put The dog down.
- oh, aren't you? - if you wanna meet The cheerleader, She'll be back any minute To pick up her dog.
- then I'll wait for her.
- whatever you want.
- okay, can we get back To writing the script now? - yeah, let's get this done.
- okay.
Boy's in the closet.
Face being eaten.
Mom walks in and - another video chat request? - who is it now? - someone named Lilóstephanie21.
- who's she? - I don't know.
Let me see.
- hello.
- Robbie! - dude! - oh, come on.
- you created A fake screen name? - well, you denied my real one.
- but why lilóstephanie21? - 'cause lilóstephanie1 Through 20 were taken! What? - you couldn't have picked A boy's name? - says a lot, doesn't it? - look, don't you guys agree That if a person says He'll see a movie with you On Sunday night, He should honor that commitment And not just leave me hanging.
- what happened to Robbie? - my finger.
- ah.
- all passengers, please - move, move, move.
- ah! - it's back! - will you stop wiggling Your butt in my friends' faces? - guess who I just met In first class! - who? - Perez Hilton! - shut up.
- I swear! Row one seat b! - oh, man, please tell me You didn't bother Perez Hilton.
- I had to! - trina.
- do you realize How powerfule is in Hollywood? He can make me famous overnight! - so you talked to him? - I tried to, But then he called The flight attendant Who called the sky marshal And then they escorted me Out of first class.
- so why are you all smiley? - I got his camera! - why? - 'cause tomorrow I'll email him, Say I found his camera, And he'll be so grateful When I give it back That he'll write about me In his blog and I'll be famous! - what ever happened To getting famous By having some talent? - talent has nothing to do With being famous.
- oh, now who? - somebody wants To join our chat.
- it's probably Robbie again.
- ugh.
- what's the screen name? - Mr.
Skinny jeans.
- that's sinjin.
- hey guys.
I see you're video chatting.
- what you need? 'cause we're really kinda busy.
- are you on a plane? - yeah, I'm on a plane.
- and they have wi-fi? - no, sinjin.
I have the world's longest Internet cable Hanging out the window.
- nuh-uh.
Airplane windows don't open.
- hey, wait a minute.
Sinjin? - hi, jade.
- where did you get that lamp? -- at the lamp store.
- it looks exactly like The lamp I have In my den at home.
- oh.
Weird.
- are you in my house?! Take your computer with you! - please don't tell my mother.
- all right, We're not accepting Any more chat requests, okay? - good.
- agreed.
- andre! Stop talking to yourself! - grandma, I'm not talking to myself.
I'm talking to tori and Beck.
- that's a lie! They're not here! - I know that.
I'm talking to them online.
See? - hi, Mrs.
Harris.
- how you doing? - I don't understand this! - grandma.
- ah! Grandma! - aw, grandma! Just go sit down on your couch! - it's just me, Mrs.
Harris.
- leave me alone! - guess that just leaves You and me.
- and me.
- let's just get an f And be done with this.
- oh, come on.
We can finish This script ourselves.
- you really want to? - sure.
Why don't we just try to-- [knock on door.]
- oh.
Now what? - is that your cheerleader Friend? - come in.
- yeah! Come in! - hi, Beck.
- hi, Allie.
Jade, this is My next door neighbor, Allie.
Allie, this is my girlfriend, Jade.
- nice to meet you.
- hello, Allie.
- thanks for taking care Of sparkles.
- any time, kiddo.
- your girlfriend's pretty.
- I know.
- bye.
- see you.
- wow, jade, looks like You got some competition there.
- you gonna say you're sorry? - you didn't tell me She was nine.
- you didn't give me a chance.
- oh, don't try To turn this around on me! - hey.
Beck.
- you love making me jealous.
You could've said she's nine.
I wouldn't have gotten Upset with you.
- listen.
Can you guys fight later? - stay out of this, tori! - but I just need Beck To help me write-- - oh.
- now what are you gonna do? - I am gonna finish writing This script myself.
We have 62 minutes Until we land, and I'm sure If I type really fast, I can get this done-- - you! - Perez! - oh, my God.
You're Perez Hilton! - you took my camera! - no, no I didn't! - yes, you did.
It's in your hand! - I'll give it back If you write about me! - no! It doesn't work that way! Give me my camera! - oh, come on! - trina! - you don't understand.
- give me my camera! - this is a big deal to me.
This is like something I've waited for my whole life.
No, no, no! - oh, my God! Perez Hilton is on my lap! Perez Hilton is on my lap! - can you invite me To your party.
- no.
Stop it.
- this is a really big Deal to me.
- gimme my camera.
You're a freak.
You're crazy.
- I love you, Perez.
- trina! Stop harassing Perez Hilton
- hey Tori.
Hey.
- what? - is this chicken? - I think It might be pineapple.
Or part of a thumb.
- ulch.
I can't eat airplane food.
Too gross.
Ulch.
- and why is this now On my tray table? - 'cause I'm done with it.
- I don't care If you're done with it.
Keep your garbage on - hey, hey, kid! I told you to stop kicking My seat.
- so? - stop that! - you're not the queen Of this plane.
- excuse me.
Will you please do something About your son? - will you stop kicking Her seat? - no.
- some people are so rude.
- I know.
- this is Captain stubing.
Sorry about our late start Today.
We should be arriving In Los Angeles At around 11:14 P.
M.
- wait, what time did he say? - 11:14.
- aw, great.
3 1/2 late.
- why do you care? - I'm supposed to meet andre, Beck and cat to write a script For class that's due In the morning.
- what teacher? - gradstein.
- ooh, he's tough.
- no chiz.
- what is "chiz" anyway? - andre thinks It's a German sausage.
- --water.
- thank you.
- can I get you anything? - uh, excuse me? - yes? - does this plane have wi-fi? - no, but we do have wireless Internet service.
- that's what wi-fi is.
- please don't give me Attitude.
- what are you doing? - I'm gonna see If andre's online So we can work over video chat.
- oh, smart.
Maybe you guys can, uh-- Did you just kick my seat again? - why don't you ask your butt? - look, if you don't Knock it off, I'm gonna tell The flight attendant.
- ooh, you're a scary witch.
- I wish I was a witch 'cause I would take My broomstick and I would - trina, sit.
- oh, good.
Andre's online.
- I need some more air.
- you have a pimple Under your arm.
- don't talk about it.
- Tori Vega, what's up? - hey, I'm on the plane.
- you're on the plane? Well if I were you, I'd get in the plane.
So you're on the plane? - and I'm not gonna land Until after 11:00.
- oh, but we gotta write That script for class.
- I know.
Wanna do it over video chat? - yeah, sure.
I'll text cat and Beck And tell 'em to get online.
- cool.
- will you pop this for me? - no.
- I let you borrow My green sweater last week.
- and that means I should pop your pit pimple?! - yes! We're sisters.
If you had a pit pimple, I'd-- Quit kicking my seat! - quit kickin' my seat! - your desserts.
- what is this? - I dunno, pudding? - aww.
It's got fur on it.
- just like your pimple.
- oh.
[music.]
here I am once again feeling lost but now and then I breathe it in to let it go and you don't know where you are now or what it would come to if only somebody could hear when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction not a fantasy just remember me when it turns out right 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination in my victory just remember me when I make it shine [music.]
- woo.
You're a long one.
- hey, tori.
- oh.
Hey, uh, did you get cat And Beck? - yeah, they're about To get online.
- nice.
Where are you? - at my grandma's house.
- why are you At your grandma's? - she called me And said she was scared 'cause the numbers Kept changin' On her digital clock.
- isn't that what clocks do? - all I know is, When I got here, She was hidin' under her bed.
- did you get her out? - uh-huh, But I had to use butter.
Oh, cat's on.
- yep, I see.
Let me invite her.
- hey, are you gonna eat Your pudding? - you ate yours? - yeah, I just scraped the fur Right off the top, It wasn't bad.
- go nuts.
- hi.
- whassup, little red? - hey, cat.
- andre! - one sec.
What's wrong, grandma? - the numbers on my clock Changed again! - it's a clock, grandma.
The numbers are supposed To change.
- what happened to my butter? - I'll go to the store tomorrow And get you some more butter.
[screaming.]
- what was that? - my grandmother just screamed.
- why, what happened? - I don't know.
I think she saw herself In a mirror.
- andre! There's another me on the wall! - it's okay, grandma! Just introduce yourself.
I'm sure she's nice.
- Beck's online.
- oh, yeah.
- requesting - ow! - what? - that rotten kid behind me Kicked my seat again And made me poke my eye.
- I didn't kick your seat.
- you did too.
- how's your pit zit? - that tears it! - trina! Trina! He's a little boy.
- yeah and I'm about to put him Into a little hospital.
- you requested my face? - hey, man.
- hi.
- hey, Beck.
- is that a dog with you? - aw, look at the puppy.
- he's cute, huh? - so cute.
- is he yours? - nah, I'm watchin' him For my neighbor while she's At her cheerleading practice.
- you live next door To a cheerleader? - I do.
- figures.
I live next door To a one-legged old man Who throws lemons at me.
- so, what's up? - tori's plane's late.
- I don't get in Till almost midnight.
- but we gotta write the script For gradstein's class.
- yeah, so we're gonna do it Here over video chat.
- oh, sounds good.
- all right.
I will type - cat, read the assignment.
- 'kay, 'kay.
It says, Write a single-scene script, Between 7 and 10 pages.
The scene must involve A mystery--ooh-- Use at least 3 characters, And have a surprise plot Twist.
- got it.
- we can do that.
- ideas? - hey, you guys wanna hear A cute joke? - a joke? - yeah.
Listen.
Okay.
What did the young shrimp say When his mom asked him Why he wouldn't share Any of his toys? - what? - sorry, I'm a little shellfish.
Get it? 'cause shrimp Are very self-centered.
- I think the joke Is that shellfish sounds Like selfish.
- oh, my God.
That's even funnier.
Okay, back to the script.
- hey.
What if our script's about a kid Who goes into a closet To look for something and--ulch.
- what? - who was that? - Robbie's requesting To join our chat.
- hey.
- hi.
- 'sup? - hey, Rob.
- hey, Robbie.
What did the young shrimp say When his mom asked-- - I'm a little shellfish, You told me yesterday.
- poo.
- listen, I need your guys' help.
- you need professional help.
- I don't either! - Robbie - we're trying to work On a script That's due in the morning.
- this'll just take a second.
- okay, what's your problem? - well, on Friday at school, I asked Rex if he wanted To see a movie with me On Sunday night.
True or false? - you said, "how would you feel "about seein' a movie On Sunday night?" And I said, "sounds like a plan.
" - exactly.
And now it's Sunday night And Rex says he has other plans.
- which I do.
- why would you go And make other plans When you said you'd see a movie With me? - you guys.
- I never said I would see a movie with you.
I said, "sounds like a plan.
" - what's the difference? - you never called me To confirm.
- I'm gonna get a rootbeer.
- Robbie, Rex, you guys Work this out yourselves.
- bye, Robbie.
- wait, no, don't kick us out Of the chat! No, don't! - all right, Back to our script.
- hey, what if we write About a giraffe Who learns to love? - a giraffe? - that's not good.
- no.
- let's just stick with the kid In the closet.
- right.
So I was thinking, Maybe he comes home from school Looking for something, And he goes into his closet, And there's like a small, Secret door in the back of--cat.
What are you doing? - I clicked on rainbow.
Woooooooo.
-ill you please stop that? - we gotta do this project.
- sorry.
- now where were we? - uh, the kid goes Into his closet.
- right.
And maybe it's not a normal kid.
Maybe he's like created By scientists In a government lab or - who's that? - jade.
Let me see what she wants.
- aww.
- hey, look.
We're doing this project That's due tomorrow morning, So - where have you been? - home.
Why? - I left you a voicemail And you haven't called me back.
- I'm doing homework.
- so you wanna break up With me.
- wait.
No.
No.
Why would you think That I want to break up With you - why do you have that animal? - my neighbor's dog.
- his neighbor the cheerleader.
- cheerleader? - why? Why would you say that? - sorry.
- you know What cheerleaders have? Pep.
- pep? - did she say pep? - why are you doing favors For a cheerleader, And what is she doing for you? - it's not what you think.
She's just - I'm coming over there.
- no, no.
You don't need to - all right.
So far we have nothing.
So it'd be great if we could do A little writing together, okay? - look! I'm in a kaleidoscope.
- oh, how does she do that? - you just click effects On the lower left.
- this is not a time For effects.
- wooooooooooo.
- hey, look at me! You guys are giving me A headache.
- andre - ooh! I'm getting dizzy.
Look at me, I'm spinning around.
- what effect is that? - it's spinning clockwise.
- why tell her that?! - whoa.
Look at me.
- we're not making progress.
- here I go! - andre, I need you to focus And keep your eyes - I'm spinning.
I can't focus on anything.
- it's like a space ship.
- I'm princess rotation.
- you guys.
We have a project to work on.
I'm not gonna sit here and watch You guys spin clockwise! - hey, you heard the lady.
Ready? - counterclockwise! - oh.
Reverse! We're in reverse now.
- that's not what I meant.
- look at me Going back in time.
- when did I become The mature one? - I don't know.
Quit it! - make me! - oh, I'm gonna make you, kid.
- you guys.
This is no time To fool around.
- you cannot treat me Like that.
Excuse me.
Your son is being a brat.
- all right.
So the little boy yells Will you stop that? - what?! - stop dancing in your seat Like a weirdo! So the little boy yells what? - how about, "mom! There's evil in my closet! Eviiiilll!" - okay.
Good.
How do I spell eviiiilll? - use four is and three ls.
- got it.
Okay.
Now, why don't we say The mom walks into the closet To find her son's face Being eaten by - look! Now I'm a cherry pie.
I'm pie girl! But don't bite off my nose.
- cat! We have a 10-page script Due tomorrow morning And we're on page three, And you're not helping at all.
Now will you please stop Acting like a child?! - there she goes.
- look.
I didn't mean to yell at you.
Please don't cry.
I was frustrated because--oh.
- what happened? - I made cat cry And she signed off.
- well, you have to learn To be more careful With people's feelings.
- stop kicking my seat You worthless little nub! - shut up, old lady! - are you gonna let your kid Talk to me that way?! - I gotta take a wazz.
- enjoy your wazz! - so where are we In the script? - still page three.
The boy says, "mom! "there's evil in my closet! Eviiilll!" - right.
- oh, yeah.
- okay.
So next, Why don't we say the closet Starts turning into, like, A fiery den of - is that Robbie again? - yeah.
He wants to re-join our chat.
- no.
- deny it.
- denied.
- move back.
- where are you going? - the tanning salon.
Where do you think I'm going? I gotta take a wazz.
- the nub's dad Is in the bathroom.
- I'm not going back there.
I'm gonna go pee In the first class lavatory.
- you're not allowed to.
- yeah, yeah.
Move.
- ah! - ah! What was that?! - that was trina's butt.
- that was horrible.
- your sister's a freak.
- yeah.
I know.
- but she's kinda hot.
- did you just call My sister hot? - yep.
But you're hotter.
- so, who is your new Boyfriend there? - not cute, andre.
[knocking.]
- what's that noise? - open the door.
- is that jade? - yeah.
I'm busy working On a project! - I need to talk to you.
- sorry.
Door's locked.
[door being forcefully opened.]
Now it's not locked.
- she has a key? - no, she has a foot.
- what is going on? - you just kicked my door open.
- put the dog down and tell me About this cheerleader chick Who lives next door.
- I'm not gonna put The dog down.
- oh, aren't you? - if you wanna meet The cheerleader, She'll be back any minute To pick up her dog.
- then I'll wait for her.
- whatever you want.
- okay, can we get back To writing the script now? - yeah, let's get this done.
- okay.
Boy's in the closet.
Face being eaten.
Mom walks in and - another video chat request? - who is it now? - someone named Lilóstephanie21.
- who's she? - I don't know.
Let me see.
- hello.
- Robbie! - dude! - oh, come on.
- you created A fake screen name? - well, you denied my real one.
- but why lilóstephanie21? - 'cause lilóstephanie1 Through 20 were taken! What? - you couldn't have picked A boy's name? - says a lot, doesn't it? - look, don't you guys agree That if a person says He'll see a movie with you On Sunday night, He should honor that commitment And not just leave me hanging.
- what happened to Robbie? - my finger.
- ah.
- all passengers, please - move, move, move.
- ah! - it's back! - will you stop wiggling Your butt in my friends' faces? - guess who I just met In first class! - who? - Perez Hilton! - shut up.
- I swear! Row one seat b! - oh, man, please tell me You didn't bother Perez Hilton.
- I had to! - trina.
- do you realize How powerfule is in Hollywood? He can make me famous overnight! - so you talked to him? - I tried to, But then he called The flight attendant Who called the sky marshal And then they escorted me Out of first class.
- so why are you all smiley? - I got his camera! - why? - 'cause tomorrow I'll email him, Say I found his camera, And he'll be so grateful When I give it back That he'll write about me In his blog and I'll be famous! - what ever happened To getting famous By having some talent? - talent has nothing to do With being famous.
- oh, now who? - somebody wants To join our chat.
- it's probably Robbie again.
- ugh.
- what's the screen name? - Mr.
Skinny jeans.
- that's sinjin.
- hey guys.
I see you're video chatting.
- what you need? 'cause we're really kinda busy.
- are you on a plane? - yeah, I'm on a plane.
- and they have wi-fi? - no, sinjin.
I have the world's longest Internet cable Hanging out the window.
- nuh-uh.
Airplane windows don't open.
- hey, wait a minute.
Sinjin? - hi, jade.
- where did you get that lamp? -- at the lamp store.
- it looks exactly like The lamp I have In my den at home.
- oh.
Weird.
- are you in my house?! Take your computer with you! - please don't tell my mother.
- all right, We're not accepting Any more chat requests, okay? - good.
- agreed.
- andre! Stop talking to yourself! - grandma, I'm not talking to myself.
I'm talking to tori and Beck.
- that's a lie! They're not here! - I know that.
I'm talking to them online.
See? - hi, Mrs.
Harris.
- how you doing? - I don't understand this! - grandma.
- ah! Grandma! - aw, grandma! Just go sit down on your couch! - it's just me, Mrs.
Harris.
- leave me alone! - guess that just leaves You and me.
- and me.
- let's just get an f And be done with this.
- oh, come on.
We can finish This script ourselves.
- you really want to? - sure.
Why don't we just try to-- [knock on door.]
- oh.
Now what? - is that your cheerleader Friend? - come in.
- yeah! Come in! - hi, Beck.
- hi, Allie.
Jade, this is My next door neighbor, Allie.
Allie, this is my girlfriend, Jade.
- nice to meet you.
- hello, Allie.
- thanks for taking care Of sparkles.
- any time, kiddo.
- your girlfriend's pretty.
- I know.
- bye.
- see you.
- wow, jade, looks like You got some competition there.
- you gonna say you're sorry? - you didn't tell me She was nine.
- you didn't give me a chance.
- oh, don't try To turn this around on me! - hey.
Beck.
- you love making me jealous.
You could've said she's nine.
I wouldn't have gotten Upset with you.
- listen.
Can you guys fight later? - stay out of this, tori! - but I just need Beck To help me write-- - oh.
- now what are you gonna do? - I am gonna finish writing This script myself.
We have 62 minutes Until we land, and I'm sure If I type really fast, I can get this done-- - you! - Perez! - oh, my God.
You're Perez Hilton! - you took my camera! - no, no I didn't! - yes, you did.
It's in your hand! - I'll give it back If you write about me! - no! It doesn't work that way! Give me my camera! - oh, come on! - trina! - you don't understand.
- give me my camera! - this is a big deal to me.
This is like something I've waited for my whole life.
No, no, no! - oh, my God! Perez Hilton is on my lap! Perez Hilton is on my lap! - can you invite me To your party.
- no.
Stop it.
- this is a really big Deal to me.
- gimme my camera.
You're a freak.
You're crazy.
- I love you, Perez.
- trina! Stop harassing Perez Hilton