Wander Over Yonder (2013) s01e09 Episode Script
The Hero; The Birthday Boy
1 1x09a - Hero Ancient prophecy foretold that the beloved Princess Demura would be kidnapped by King Draykor the evil dragon king, who, hungry for power, stole her away to his Labyrinth of delusion! And now only one hero can rescue her, her one true love.
And once he saves her, they will live happily ever after and use their compatible features to produce many attractive offspring, who will also live happily ever after! And I, sir Brad Starlight, am Now, Draykor plans to wed Demura at sundown.
I beseech you, kind travelers, will you help me save her, so we may live happily ever after? Are you kidding? Save a princess? I've always wanted to save a princess! Let's go save a princess! Whoa there, my furry fellow! I like your enthusiasm, but remember I'm the hero here.
You're my goofy sidekick, who trapes, japes, gapes, and, of course, sings my theme song.
And my noble steed.
Who trudges, drudges, begrudges and generally does all the heavy lifting.
Whoa! Nuh-uh.
I don't just let anybody hop in this saddle.
Grrrr! Sylvia, come on! A princess is in danger.
Uhh! Okay, fine.
But only 'cause we're helping a sister out.
Hyah! Onward, noble steed! Princess rescue! Wooooo! I sing the tale of Brad Starlight a worthy, brave, and daring knight he helped a crone to cross the street More dangerous! though it was lava beneath his feet Put in that I fought a bear they know how strong I am.
he wrestled a large and scary bear And come on, old crone? Yuck.
Make it a pretty lady.
all to help a maiden fair Hey, yes.
She totally wants to smooch me.
then his sidekick, brave and true Whoa! Silence, silly sidekick.
We're here.
The Labyrinth of delusion! Don't worry, princess, we'll save you! Uh, the prophecy says that the hero always leads the way.
Oh, gosh, I am so sorry.
Of course.
After you, Sir Starlight.
Oh, you poor, silly, stupid sidekick.
That way is clearly a trap.
This is the correct path.
- Are you flarping serious? - Easy girl.
I know the danger spooks dumb beasts like you.
You have no idea what you're doing, do you? Ooh, tasty carrot.
Wander, keep an eye on this fool.
That a girl.
Onward, sidekick! Oh, and try and throw in some pratfalls and silly catchphrases if you can, okay? Copy that! Whoop-a-deedy-doo.
Splat.
Careful, sidekick! A gauntlet of traps most fearsome awaits us.
A weakling like you cannot hope to withstand it.
Truly, it will take one with big, hero-ey muscles, such as myself, to make it through this alive.
We're coming, princess! Ah, clearly this is just a warm-up challenge.
Okay.
Here we go.
Excelsior That's it, Sir Starlight! You're almost through.
Whoop-a-deedy-doo! What? I don't how? Oh, Sylvia? She took the other path! Turns out it was quite pleasant.
There was even a lemonade stand.
Let's see you get out of this one, champ.
But don't worry! It's a pattern, so all you got to do is No! No! The hero does not need the sidekick's help! Now, clearly, it's some sort of pattern.
Nice griffin.
Ow! Gah! The griffin has my cape! The griffin has my cape! Get off! My sword! Your sidekick tom-foolery has cost me my sword! The prophecy specifically states the hero has a mighty sword! Is this mighty enough? The Sword of destiny! Forged in the fires of a collapsing star, the Andromeda lords themselves crafted it so that only the most noble, the most daring, the most truly righteous hero could Wha but the hero is supposed to Put it back! Put it back! Put it back! Oh, sorry.
Don't know my own strength.
Ah, come on, it's like you haven't even read the prophecy.
Ain't happening, pretty boy.
Don't! It's better this way! Now come on.
Stop dilly-dallying.
We're gonna be late.
Helping a sister out.
Helping a sister out.
The day's end may be nigh, Princess Demura But fear not.
No barrier can keep my love from you.
I shall smash the Oh, come on, are you serious? - It was unlocked.
- I don't care! I need to make a dramatic entrance.
Close it! Ha ha! No door is strong enough to keep me from you, my love.
Ahh! For the princess! Wait just a come on, this is my I wanted to Stop!!! All I want to do is save my one true love and have everyone know how great a hero I am.
Just like the prophecy says! And you're ruining it, ruining it, ruining it! Why can't you get it?! Sidekick! Steed! Hero! Prisoner.
So these are the heroes who've come to steal my bride.
Well, you're too late Sir Starlight! Soon, the sun will set and Princess Demura will be Beloved.
She's beautiful! And pink.
Ugh! Demura, it is I, Brad Starlight.
- Silence, cur! - It's all right.
There's no need to shout, beloved, it's fine.
I'm so sorry, honey.
You know I I just want this day to be perfect for you, you know.
Oh, and it will be, Drake, as long as we're together.
Oh you're pooky.
Seriously, Bradley? This again? I'm sorry, did he drag you two along on some crazy rescue mission? It's not a crazy mission! The prophecy foretold! Prophecy? You mean your diary from when we were what, 15? Look, Brad.
I know this is hard, but things don't always work out the way you want.
Life isn't a fairy-tale.
Come on, we can just be friends, right? No! The princess will be mine! The prophecy will be fulfilled! Demura, my love.
We've got to save her.
You! What should we do? Yes, you.
Only one brave enough to conquer the insane Labyrinth we set up to stop Bradley is heroic enough to help save Demura, right? I've always wanted to save a princess.
Okay, guys! New bad guy, new plan.
We're going to need everybody's individual talents to pull this off! Yeah! We're all gonna have to work together, as a team.
Yeah! Today, we're all gonna be heroes! Yeah! We're all collectively coming to save you, princess! Guys, it's fine.
I handled it myself.
Like I said, this isn't a fairy tale.
Yeah! Oh.
That's why I love her.
And they lived happily ever after.
Well, that's the plan, but real relationships take a lot of work.
However, if we listen, communicate, and are sensitive to each other's needs Happily ever after! We kind of sort of saved a princess! Wooooo! 1x09b - Birthday Boy Happy birthday, Lord Hater! So me and the guys all chipped in and got you a little something.
- Can you guess what it is? - Is it a doom arena? It's a doom arena! Doom arena I thought you might say that.
But don't worry, because our next gift is sure to put a smile on your face.
May I present to you your most despised enemies Wander and Sylvia! Boo! I hate those guys! See, Sylvia? I told you it was a real party.
Oh, look, it's Mr.
Peepers! Mr.
Peepers! Thank you for the invitation to the birthday party! And you thought it was a trap.
Yes! Best! Birthday! Ever! Not only do I get to watch the destruction of my most despised enemy, I get to see him cower before me! To see that goofy grin replaced with pure fear.
Yes! Peepers! There is a distinct lack of cowering in my doom arena! That is contrary to the purpose of the doom arena! Wander, we've got to get out of here.
Oh, come on, Sylvia, the party's not that bad.
Although it is poorly decorated.
And not very well attended.
And, worst of all, the birthday boy does not appear to be enjoying the festivities.
Sylvia, we have to stay in order to see that Hater has fun on his most special of special days.
It's up to us to see that sad old scowl replaced with a big old smile! Pakow! Pakow! Thunder noise! Don't worry, sir.
One groveling do-gooder coming right up.
Yeah! Get 'em!! Finally! Some more party guests.
But what are they gonna do for fun? - Crush us into a fine paste? - Oh, Sylvia.
I have a sure-fire plan to put a smile on Hater's face.
All you need to do is make sure those gladiators can't see anything.
With pleasure.
Ladies? Shall we? Yah! Ah! My eye! My only eye! I really wish I had a second eye! Put some glue, more glue.
Oh, glitter, definitely some glitter, Hater loves glitter.
Finished! Now, who wants to show Hater a good time by bashing his face in? Hey! The party's over here, you optic nerds! Candy! Peepers, Wander still appears to be enjoying himself now at the expense of my face! Don't worry, sir.
We have plenty of terrifying traps left.
Well, let's see, meat tenderizer, flame throwers, flying tigers Hurry up already! Sylvia, Hater is still not enjoying himself.
The corners of his mouth are still pointing south.
We got to spin that gram into a grin.
Spin the bottle? Hater, you sassy man, you do want to get this party started.
- Little help? - Hi-yah! Who's it going to be.
I'm so excited.
Hater, I was hoping you'd win.
Now pucker up, and let's see that smile! Oh, man, did you see the look on Hater's face? I know.
Isn't that awful? At this rate, we're never gonna get a smile out of that guy.
Sir, I know this party isn't going as, uh, perfectly as you'd like.
So may I recommend the big red button in the upper right corner? Stand back, Wander! This fella ain't no party game.
Hey, Wander.
Your precious protector Sylvia is gone.
How you feeling? Scared? Yes, here comes the fear.
Any moment now.
Who's a hungry boy, who's a hungry boy? That's right, it's you.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
Happiness is a happy puppy, right, Hater? I disapprove of this turn of events! Oh! Sir, come on, don't let Wander ruin this party for you.
What if we have him quietly vaporized out back, then do cake? Would that make you happy? No! I want it to be perfect.
All I wanted for my birthday was to see my most hated enemy cower in fear before his untimely doom! Is that so much to ask? - Oh.
- Party's over.
But apparently this pathetic "doom arena" couldn't even terrify a trembling toddler.
I guess I'm just going to have to do it my self.
Here we go.
Hater, look at all this stuff.
We're going to have so much fun and you are going to be so happy! Doom arena Limbo! Doom arena Hot potato! Doom arena Yeah.
Whoo-whoo-whoo! Musical chairs! Race you to the finish! Aw, the birthday boy should win at least one.
Let me get that for you.
What how are you did you see my doom arena? You should be totally afraid.
Oh, Hater.
I am afraid.
I'm afraid you aren't enjoying your birthday party.
I got it! I know what will save this party and finally put a smile on your face.
Oh, it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song and on your happy birthday nothing can go wrong I can tell that you're all grumpy 'cause you've been around awhile just because you're old and frumpy doesn't mean you shouldn't smile because it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song and your birthday best be happy 'cause you won't be around for long so try not to be so sad about your impending doom some day we'll light birthday candles on your frigid tomb oh, it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song and your birthday won't be happy till you all sing along Everybody! oh, it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song Just the pit monster! I can tell that you're all grumpy 'cause you've been around awhile just because you're old and frumpy doesn't mean you shouldn't What's that I see? Oh! # smile.
# Happy birthday, Hater! Aww!
And once he saves her, they will live happily ever after and use their compatible features to produce many attractive offspring, who will also live happily ever after! And I, sir Brad Starlight, am Now, Draykor plans to wed Demura at sundown.
I beseech you, kind travelers, will you help me save her, so we may live happily ever after? Are you kidding? Save a princess? I've always wanted to save a princess! Let's go save a princess! Whoa there, my furry fellow! I like your enthusiasm, but remember I'm the hero here.
You're my goofy sidekick, who trapes, japes, gapes, and, of course, sings my theme song.
And my noble steed.
Who trudges, drudges, begrudges and generally does all the heavy lifting.
Whoa! Nuh-uh.
I don't just let anybody hop in this saddle.
Grrrr! Sylvia, come on! A princess is in danger.
Uhh! Okay, fine.
But only 'cause we're helping a sister out.
Hyah! Onward, noble steed! Princess rescue! Wooooo! I sing the tale of Brad Starlight a worthy, brave, and daring knight he helped a crone to cross the street More dangerous! though it was lava beneath his feet Put in that I fought a bear they know how strong I am.
he wrestled a large and scary bear And come on, old crone? Yuck.
Make it a pretty lady.
all to help a maiden fair Hey, yes.
She totally wants to smooch me.
then his sidekick, brave and true Whoa! Silence, silly sidekick.
We're here.
The Labyrinth of delusion! Don't worry, princess, we'll save you! Uh, the prophecy says that the hero always leads the way.
Oh, gosh, I am so sorry.
Of course.
After you, Sir Starlight.
Oh, you poor, silly, stupid sidekick.
That way is clearly a trap.
This is the correct path.
- Are you flarping serious? - Easy girl.
I know the danger spooks dumb beasts like you.
You have no idea what you're doing, do you? Ooh, tasty carrot.
Wander, keep an eye on this fool.
That a girl.
Onward, sidekick! Oh, and try and throw in some pratfalls and silly catchphrases if you can, okay? Copy that! Whoop-a-deedy-doo.
Splat.
Careful, sidekick! A gauntlet of traps most fearsome awaits us.
A weakling like you cannot hope to withstand it.
Truly, it will take one with big, hero-ey muscles, such as myself, to make it through this alive.
We're coming, princess! Ah, clearly this is just a warm-up challenge.
Okay.
Here we go.
Excelsior That's it, Sir Starlight! You're almost through.
Whoop-a-deedy-doo! What? I don't how? Oh, Sylvia? She took the other path! Turns out it was quite pleasant.
There was even a lemonade stand.
Let's see you get out of this one, champ.
But don't worry! It's a pattern, so all you got to do is No! No! The hero does not need the sidekick's help! Now, clearly, it's some sort of pattern.
Nice griffin.
Ow! Gah! The griffin has my cape! The griffin has my cape! Get off! My sword! Your sidekick tom-foolery has cost me my sword! The prophecy specifically states the hero has a mighty sword! Is this mighty enough? The Sword of destiny! Forged in the fires of a collapsing star, the Andromeda lords themselves crafted it so that only the most noble, the most daring, the most truly righteous hero could Wha but the hero is supposed to Put it back! Put it back! Put it back! Oh, sorry.
Don't know my own strength.
Ah, come on, it's like you haven't even read the prophecy.
Ain't happening, pretty boy.
Don't! It's better this way! Now come on.
Stop dilly-dallying.
We're gonna be late.
Helping a sister out.
Helping a sister out.
The day's end may be nigh, Princess Demura But fear not.
No barrier can keep my love from you.
I shall smash the Oh, come on, are you serious? - It was unlocked.
- I don't care! I need to make a dramatic entrance.
Close it! Ha ha! No door is strong enough to keep me from you, my love.
Ahh! For the princess! Wait just a come on, this is my I wanted to Stop!!! All I want to do is save my one true love and have everyone know how great a hero I am.
Just like the prophecy says! And you're ruining it, ruining it, ruining it! Why can't you get it?! Sidekick! Steed! Hero! Prisoner.
So these are the heroes who've come to steal my bride.
Well, you're too late Sir Starlight! Soon, the sun will set and Princess Demura will be Beloved.
She's beautiful! And pink.
Ugh! Demura, it is I, Brad Starlight.
- Silence, cur! - It's all right.
There's no need to shout, beloved, it's fine.
I'm so sorry, honey.
You know I I just want this day to be perfect for you, you know.
Oh, and it will be, Drake, as long as we're together.
Oh you're pooky.
Seriously, Bradley? This again? I'm sorry, did he drag you two along on some crazy rescue mission? It's not a crazy mission! The prophecy foretold! Prophecy? You mean your diary from when we were what, 15? Look, Brad.
I know this is hard, but things don't always work out the way you want.
Life isn't a fairy-tale.
Come on, we can just be friends, right? No! The princess will be mine! The prophecy will be fulfilled! Demura, my love.
We've got to save her.
You! What should we do? Yes, you.
Only one brave enough to conquer the insane Labyrinth we set up to stop Bradley is heroic enough to help save Demura, right? I've always wanted to save a princess.
Okay, guys! New bad guy, new plan.
We're going to need everybody's individual talents to pull this off! Yeah! We're all gonna have to work together, as a team.
Yeah! Today, we're all gonna be heroes! Yeah! We're all collectively coming to save you, princess! Guys, it's fine.
I handled it myself.
Like I said, this isn't a fairy tale.
Yeah! Oh.
That's why I love her.
And they lived happily ever after.
Well, that's the plan, but real relationships take a lot of work.
However, if we listen, communicate, and are sensitive to each other's needs Happily ever after! We kind of sort of saved a princess! Wooooo! 1x09b - Birthday Boy Happy birthday, Lord Hater! So me and the guys all chipped in and got you a little something.
- Can you guess what it is? - Is it a doom arena? It's a doom arena! Doom arena I thought you might say that.
But don't worry, because our next gift is sure to put a smile on your face.
May I present to you your most despised enemies Wander and Sylvia! Boo! I hate those guys! See, Sylvia? I told you it was a real party.
Oh, look, it's Mr.
Peepers! Mr.
Peepers! Thank you for the invitation to the birthday party! And you thought it was a trap.
Yes! Best! Birthday! Ever! Not only do I get to watch the destruction of my most despised enemy, I get to see him cower before me! To see that goofy grin replaced with pure fear.
Yes! Peepers! There is a distinct lack of cowering in my doom arena! That is contrary to the purpose of the doom arena! Wander, we've got to get out of here.
Oh, come on, Sylvia, the party's not that bad.
Although it is poorly decorated.
And not very well attended.
And, worst of all, the birthday boy does not appear to be enjoying the festivities.
Sylvia, we have to stay in order to see that Hater has fun on his most special of special days.
It's up to us to see that sad old scowl replaced with a big old smile! Pakow! Pakow! Thunder noise! Don't worry, sir.
One groveling do-gooder coming right up.
Yeah! Get 'em!! Finally! Some more party guests.
But what are they gonna do for fun? - Crush us into a fine paste? - Oh, Sylvia.
I have a sure-fire plan to put a smile on Hater's face.
All you need to do is make sure those gladiators can't see anything.
With pleasure.
Ladies? Shall we? Yah! Ah! My eye! My only eye! I really wish I had a second eye! Put some glue, more glue.
Oh, glitter, definitely some glitter, Hater loves glitter.
Finished! Now, who wants to show Hater a good time by bashing his face in? Hey! The party's over here, you optic nerds! Candy! Peepers, Wander still appears to be enjoying himself now at the expense of my face! Don't worry, sir.
We have plenty of terrifying traps left.
Well, let's see, meat tenderizer, flame throwers, flying tigers Hurry up already! Sylvia, Hater is still not enjoying himself.
The corners of his mouth are still pointing south.
We got to spin that gram into a grin.
Spin the bottle? Hater, you sassy man, you do want to get this party started.
- Little help? - Hi-yah! Who's it going to be.
I'm so excited.
Hater, I was hoping you'd win.
Now pucker up, and let's see that smile! Oh, man, did you see the look on Hater's face? I know.
Isn't that awful? At this rate, we're never gonna get a smile out of that guy.
Sir, I know this party isn't going as, uh, perfectly as you'd like.
So may I recommend the big red button in the upper right corner? Stand back, Wander! This fella ain't no party game.
Hey, Wander.
Your precious protector Sylvia is gone.
How you feeling? Scared? Yes, here comes the fear.
Any moment now.
Who's a hungry boy, who's a hungry boy? That's right, it's you.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
Happiness is a happy puppy, right, Hater? I disapprove of this turn of events! Oh! Sir, come on, don't let Wander ruin this party for you.
What if we have him quietly vaporized out back, then do cake? Would that make you happy? No! I want it to be perfect.
All I wanted for my birthday was to see my most hated enemy cower in fear before his untimely doom! Is that so much to ask? - Oh.
- Party's over.
But apparently this pathetic "doom arena" couldn't even terrify a trembling toddler.
I guess I'm just going to have to do it my self.
Here we go.
Hater, look at all this stuff.
We're going to have so much fun and you are going to be so happy! Doom arena Limbo! Doom arena Hot potato! Doom arena Yeah.
Whoo-whoo-whoo! Musical chairs! Race you to the finish! Aw, the birthday boy should win at least one.
Let me get that for you.
What how are you did you see my doom arena? You should be totally afraid.
Oh, Hater.
I am afraid.
I'm afraid you aren't enjoying your birthday party.
I got it! I know what will save this party and finally put a smile on your face.
Oh, it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song and on your happy birthday nothing can go wrong I can tell that you're all grumpy 'cause you've been around awhile just because you're old and frumpy doesn't mean you shouldn't smile because it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song and your birthday best be happy 'cause you won't be around for long so try not to be so sad about your impending doom some day we'll light birthday candles on your frigid tomb oh, it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song and your birthday won't be happy till you all sing along Everybody! oh, it's your happy birthday here's your happy birthday song Just the pit monster! I can tell that you're all grumpy 'cause you've been around awhile just because you're old and frumpy doesn't mean you shouldn't What's that I see? Oh! # smile.
# Happy birthday, Hater! Aww!