Welcome to Sweden (2014) s01e09 Episode Script

1 New York Hey, get out of my way! This is amazing! This menu makes me so happy, I can't even tell you.
I don't know where to What do you recommend? Umm our meatballs are pretty popular.
No, no, no.
No meatballs.
Okay, sure.
Never.
No meatballs.
Sorry it's taking me so long.
I'm just really jet-lagged.
Don't even worry about it, take your time.
Can I just say that, um, your English is excellent.
What do you mean by that? See? Tourists always come in here and they're like, "um, I beg your pardon.
" Hey, I'm not a tourist, okay? I'm American.
Oh, I you know Your clothes.
What about my clothes? They're just very European.
You know what, I'll have the apple pie.
Apple pie? Yes.
Two apple pies.
Two apple pies.
Yep.
Coffee.
Weak coffee.
Whatever, coming at you.
Just bring it all at once.
I eat more than I should because I'm American.
We're not living in America but we're not sorry I knew there was something That we never had We don't worry no, we're not living in America But we're not sorry, no We don't care about the world today We're not sorry for ahh hej, ni har kommit till Emma wiik.
Hi, you've reached Emma wiik.
Please leave a message after the beep.
Hey, honey, it's me.
Things are great here, uh But I feel kind of weird about the way we left things so I just want to talk to you.
So give me a call when you can, thanks.
Love, huh? Yeah.
It can be a real bitch sometimes.
Yeah.
You can tell? Yeah, god.
At some point, though, you've just got to ask yourself, is he really worth it? It's a she, actually, but I just assumed.
Is it the clothes thing again? Is 'Cause these clothes I bought at h&m and they're super straight.
Yeah, no, super straight.
I'm so sorry that I referred you as gay, sir.
But you know what, hey, we're here.
Just get used to it.
I am used to it Okay, well it doesn't seem like that.
Now have a great day, Mr.
fancy pants.
What is wrong with my pants? They're perfectly tailored, they look beautiful and I would wear them.
Thank you.
Hello? Hola! Oh, hi.
I'm sorry, I must be in the wrong place.
Hey! Oh, Bruce, it's you, good.
Yeah.
I thought you were the IRS.
No.
This is your office? Yes, it is.
It's way too big.
Yeah, it is.
It's a terrible investment, Amy.
Yeah, it was.
Where is everybody? Well, I fired them.
What about this guy right here? Who, pepe? Yeah.
He doesn't speak any English, so I've been trying to fire him forever.
Hola, pepe.
Hola! How do you say "fired" in Spanish? Uh, fuego? Yeah, right.
Pepe, you fuego'd.
Si! Okay.
This is your desk.
This is where you'll be doing your work.
I need you to go through this first bag of many bags.
So, get started, I will leave you to it.
And that, by the way, is a hilarious joke tie.
Emma gave that to me.
Uh Do you know how this thing works? Sorry.
Um Como funcio Funciona It's super easy.
Just hit that button, or the other one on the right if you want it to collate.
- You speak English! - Of course.
I thought before that you were just I'm just avoiding getting fired, man.
Girl is crazy.
Yeah.
That is brilliant.
Thank you.
Good work on that.
Thanks, man.
Respect.
Ooh, boom.
Nice job, pepe.
It's actually Gary.
What are you doing here? Your name's Gary? Gary.
Muy bueno.
I don't speak Spanish.
Nothing? Nope.
I'm cherokee.
Okay.
- So, are you done? - Are you joking? This is going to take me the entire three months to go through.
About that, I think I need you to stay a little bit longer.
How much longer? Uh, try forever? What? Bruce, I really need you here.
You're the only person who doesn't totally drive me crazy.
Perdonas Not now, pepe.
Jesus! What is it about Sweden? What's back there that's so important to you? Um, Emma? Emma? I can buy you ten emmas, better emmas.
We could have an audition for a new Emma in this office.
One who's shorter.
She's too tall for you.
I don't know why everybody keeps saying that.
We're the exact same height.
Let me buy you a drink.
Right now? It's noon-time.
Well it's nighttime in Sweden.
Let's go.
Adios, pepe.
Adios, miss Amy.
Adios, Bruce.
Goodbye, pepe.
Mm-hmm.
Honey, I wish you were home.
So I invested in a restaurant which folded, and then I started my own record company, you know, which was creatively satisfying, but financially a bust.
These sound like horrible decisions.
I would never have advised you to do this stuff.
This is why I need you here, Bruce! America moves so fast.
Let me tell you something.
Sweden is going to slow you down.
I've watched Swedish films.
They move at a glacial pace.
Good stories take time.
This is where you're supposed to live.
Emma's not here.
Emma? Who cares about Emma? Emma is anywhere! You can find a beautiful woman anywhere, I bet she's right in that restaurant.
Four tequilas, please.
Wow.
It's the middle of the afternoon.
Bruce, you need this.
Forget about Emma, forget about Sweden.
This is where you live now.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
Sweden is a place one visits as a joke.
It's not where you live permanently.
That's not even true.
There's a lot of people that live there permanently, Amy.
Name one.
Okay, um, Emma.
Ugh, her again.
Cheers.
Cheers.
What are you doing? Are you mad at me? No, this is how, um, you toast in Sweden.
Ah, well, this is how they toast in the rest of the world.
Mmm Ooh, is this a four or a six? It's one.
Oh.
Can you put on the soccer match? No.
Why not? Because it's a soccer match.
That's right.
I apologize for my friend here.
Yeah.
I've been away a long time.
Yoo-hoo! So then I just left, you know.
And I don't know.
Maybe Marcus is, like, a better fit for her, I have no idea.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
It's hard, you know what I mean? What? It's hard.
Mmm.
This.
Right.
I don't know if we're even still together.
I've been trying to call her on her phone but she's not answering.
It's so deep, you know.
It's like meaningful stuff here.
Can love conquer everything when there's so many differences? Like, is love enough? Wow, Bruce, you are a really fun guy to get drunk with.
I know.
I've got to pee.
Hey, Aubrey, it's Amy.
Can you get down here? I need you.
Brucey! How are things going in the U.
S.
? Terrible, man.
Do you know where Emma is, by any chance? I've been trying to call her.
She's not answering her phone.
Ah, sweet.
You're worried.
You don't have to be.
She's having dinner with Marcus right now.
Wait, what? Can you say that again? Ah, sweet.
You're worried.
Not that, the other thing: Did you say she was on a date with Marcus? No.
Is she with Marcus? Well, yeah, but You don't have to worry.
She's in really safe hands.
Do you remember the time he saved my father's life? Yeah, that was, like, two days ago and I was there, so Yeah, me too.
Marcus is like a superhero.
You're both superheroes.
But Marcus is like Batman and you're like his assistant.
Um what's his name? That little red guy that lives in a car.
He got no gadgets but he's really, really cute.
He's Hello? Bruce? You know what, screw it.
Let's get drunk.
I think you're already there, pal.
And unfortunately I have to go.
But, look who I found.
Hey-y-y! Oh my god.
Hur mar du? Javla svenne-burg? What's up? Hi.
Oh, god.
Oh my god, you're he-e-ere.
What is this? That's That's my phone.
No, no, I need that! I need that! I was just calling Emma with that.
- That is my phone.
- Calm down.
I'll get you a new one tomorrow.
Are you serious? Dude, you've got to face the facts.
Emma's moved on.
No, she has not moved on.
Like, I've been gone for two days.
Yeah, and from what I know about swedes that's, like, plenty of time.
What do you know about swedes? I know everything about swedes that there is to know because I was in Sweden, if you remember.
Yeah, I remember.
I also know that She's there, you're here, your phone is Glug, glug there.
And more importantly, I'm here! Ahh, right here! Let's have fun! All right, fine, whatever.
Yes-s.
Okay.
Cheers! What? Are you mad at me? Why are you staring at me like that? This is how I cheer nowadays.
What did I do? It's a long We're fighting already? It's a long story.
Just drink.
Cheers.
Skal.
Skal.
Ahh-h-h-h! Wow.
We're not living in America