9-1-1 (2018) s01e10 Episode Script
A Whole New You
1 ABBY: Mom? [CRYING.]
: Mom? MAN: I am so sorry.
ABBY: Who are you? Are you the same person you've always been? If you'd asked me a week ago, I would have had an easy answer.
But a pulmonary embolism came in the middle of the night, taking my mother and my certainty.
Before, I would have said that I'd been losing my mother for years, as an illness stripped away the person she once was, but maybe the truth is I'm the one who disappeared in slow motion.
Her things tell the story of who she was, who she was proud to be: a wife, a mother, a grandmother.
I see her so clearly.
It's my own reflection that's become hazy.
Looks good.
Looks like a dining room again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- [SOBBING.]
- Hey, I'm here.
I got you, I got you, I got you.
MAN: I will break down this door.
DIANE [BRITISH ACCENT.]
: Bloody hell, go away! Sir, hands in the air.
- Just open the door, honey.
- Sir, hands in the air.
Oh, good What? What the hell are you doing? Look, I didn't do anything.
Okay? No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
All right, we'll sort this out later.
- Okay.
Look - Here.
Take him out of here.
There's something happening to my wife.
OFFICER: All right.
Calm down.
We'll get this all sorted out.
Miss, LAPD here.
Are you all right? Everything's okay.
Your husband's out of the house.
I'm not gonna let him hurt you.
It's okay.
Everything's fine.
I don't know what set him off.
He's acting absolutely bonkers.
I mean, I mean, we get into an argy-bargy every fortnight or so.
He'll go to spare, - do his nut, but he never goes mad like this.
- Sit down.
[HICCUPS.]
Oh.
[HICCUPS.]
Wow, those are some world-class hiccups.
I'm sorry, it's so embarrassing.
[HICCUPS.]
I woke up half nine with a migraine, had a spot of tea, and they just started.
An hour later and I can't get [HICCUPS.]
rid of them.
Okay, can you tell me what happened? OFFICER: Domestic call.
Guy got into it with his wife.
Claims she threw a picture frame - at his head.
- I'm not claiming anything.
That's what happened.
Look, forget about me.
There's something going on with my wife.
Sir, just relax, we have to take a look at your head.
Doesn't look too bad, does it, Chim? No.
Couple stitches.
Easy-peasy.
Let me clean it up first.
David, the bobbies are asking if I want to press charges.
The "bobbies"? Baby, there is something wrong with you.
Ma'am, you don't have to decide right now.
- We can take him - No, Officer, you don't understand.
- I understand just fine.
- No, you don't.
She's not British.
Yeah, that's not her voice.
She was born in Brooklyn.
The bobbies? The closest she's ever been to England is binge-watching episodes of Downton Abbey.
I don't know what he's talking about.
David, you're frightening me.
Look, we woke up this morning, and she just starts speaking like that.
It's bloody this, bloody that.
A spot of tea.
All this weird British slang that I've never heard before.
- [HICCUPS.]
- At first, I thought she was joking, but then it didn't stop, and I don't know what the hell's going on.
So, I try to take her to the hospital.
She freaked out, so I called 911.
Did she hit her head? Was she in an accident recently? - No, not that I know of.
- Hey.
She told me she woke up this morning with a migraine.
That and violent hiccups.
That coupled with obvious chest pains, I-I think she's having a stroke.
A stroke? Wouldn't she have slurred speech or paralysis or something? A man would, but a woman learns that symptoms can be different.
Big-ass hiccups is one of them.
She's right.
Stick your tongue out for me.
- When's your birthday? - Right, it's, um April.
Okay.
Take my hand, come with me.
Chim, get the TPA injection ready.
Take it easy, okay? Just sit down right here.
There's a clot that's preventing oxygen to get to her brain, so her synapses are misfiring.
ATHENA: That could cause her to speak with a British accent? The brain is still the great unknown.
Some people wake up from a coma and can suddenly speak Mandarin.
CHIMNEY: Please put your arm right here.
All right, let's get her to the hospital.
- Come on.
- Are we taking the tube? Hey, hey, hey, is she gonna be all right? CHIMNEY: The shot should keep her safe until we get her to the hospital.
Okay.
Thank you.
Don't thank us.
Thank her.
Thank you.
[QUIETLY.]
: Hey, hey.
- Hmm? - I found another Patricia box.
Oh [LAUGHS.]
- Wow, she kept it all.
- Yeah.
It seems like Abby doesn't want to keep any of it.
Mm.
No way.
Look at this.
- This is her, right? - That's Abby.
BUCK: Abigail Clark.
You never told me you made the Olympic team.
What is this? [CHUCKLES.]
MATTHEW: 200-meter butterfly.
She was a rock star.
That was a long time ago.
BUCK: You got to have this out.
You should be proud.
You were an Olympian.
I'm gonna grab a frame for it.
You got some empty ones in the closet.
I'm that's going up, that's for sure.
You didn't tell me he moved in.
He didn't move in.
I [SCOFFS.]
Abby, he knows what's in your bedroom closet.
And he's taken over the medicine cabinet.
Okay, stay out of my medicine cabinet.
He did not move in, he's just been here a lot because he's been helping me deal with everything.
MATTHEW: Okay [SIGHS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[CAMERA CLICKING.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- One sec.
I'll be right out.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[TYPING.]
CHIMNEY: Why you so mopey? Pasta? HEN: Nah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What was that all about? What? You closed your laptop as soon as we walked in here, like you were hiding something.
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
BOBBY: I just took a sip of tea.
- Chim! - Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
CHIMNEY: RomancingTheUniform.
com? That's my dating site.
That's where I met Tatiana.
Holy crap, are you actually putting yourself back out on the scene? My sponsor said maybe it's time.
I spend too much time in my work, in my head, and that dating, having a girlfriend would help get me out in the world.
I think it's great, you taking the leap.
It's brave.
While at the moment, I think that dating or sleeping with someone is not worth the trouble, but I'm happy for you.
Look, this just isn't me.
I-I feel like a probie stretching his first job.
You're not a rookie, you're just rusty.
Last time I had a date, I was in my 20s.
Yeah, this is terrible.
And this picture looks like you're trying to sell real estate from a bus stop bench.
And you know what? I will not be buying.
All right? You cannot describe yourself as, "I am a lifesaver, - not a heartbreaker.
" - Why not? That's solid, sweet.
No, it is cheese.
Sweet, sweet cheese.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- You like flan? Good flan is the bomb.
- [LAUGHING.]
: Oh, he - You don't? You have an AOL e-mail account still? It is literally like you were frozen in ember in 1995.
It's "amber," not "ember," you idiot.
Who cares? You can never show this to a girl.
- Why not? - Okay, this profile is a joke profile for a guy no one ever wants to go out with.
You know what, maybe you are not the right person he should be taking dating advice from, Buckaroo.
And why is that? Because last time I checked, I'm in a stable, monogamous relationship with an amazing woman.
He I'm the healthiest dater at this whole table.
- Oh, my God, he's right.
- [LAUGHTER.]
The world is turned upside down.
[LAUGHTER.]
Yeah, okay, laugh, huh? I am proof that real change is possible.
ALYSSA: What the hell, Evan Buckley? BOBBY: Can we help you? You lead me on for six weeks? The sexiest, deepest, most romantic, most intimate relationship I've ever had with a man I told you everything.
You told me everything.
And I am not an easy nut to crack.
Is this your sick game? Make a girl reveal every fear and secret and turn-on, and then you just disappear? Is ghosting girls your thing? I'm sorry, are you sure you have the right Evan Buckley? You mean the Evan Buckley who's a firefighter? Who works here and was on the news, and climbed a roller coaster and looks exactly like you? Listen, yeah, sure, that-that is definitely me.
But the-the me that I am, and the him that you're describing, that is not the same person.
BOBBY: Whoa! Hey, whoa.
You see that? No, no, I swear, I have never seen her before.
- If you say so.
- No, I do say so.
Okay, I swear, I-I don't know who that was.
I have I have found real intimacy.
Right? You know this.
Come on.
I haven't even flirted - with anyone else.
- Sure, you haven't.
Yep, you're proof that real change is possible.
[ALARM RINGING.]
[INDISTINCT DISPATCHER CHATTER.]
Guys - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Don't forget your bathing suits.
Dad says there's a pool.
Yeah, and your moisturizer and gel.
I'm too old to have my dad twist my hair.
Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a minute.
Th-That's my specialty.
Well, humor the old man.
[CHUCKLES.]
I hope you don't mind, I let myself in.
Well, as long as your children live here, those locks aren't gonna change.
Hey.
Now, you know I'm gonna miss you.
[LAUGHS.]
Aw.
Okay, so do we all need to talk about all of this? You know, first weekend away with Dad since we split up.
I feel like this is one of those things where talking about it will only make it harder.
Yeah, and it's not our first time going away with Dad alone.
Yeah, but this is different.
Do you guys need to talk about all this? No, it's all right.
We get it.
- All right.
Mm-hmm.
- Right? All right.
Have fun.
- Okay, bye.
- Okay, all right.
All right, let's make it happen.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Are you okay? - Hmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
- You know, if you're worried about Glenn, I mean, you have my word - he will not be around at all.
- No.
I trust you.
It's just it's gonna be weird sleeping here with my babies out under some other roof.
Oh.
Being without you is hard enough.
- Being without them? - Mm.
It just makes me see why people stay together - for the sake of the kids.
- Yeah.
I just never pictured myself being a person who doesn't wake up every day in the same house with her children.
But this is us now.
We're on our way to being better people, more authentic people.
And that journey, well, it just isn't free.
Hmm.
Hey.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
CHIMNEY: Hen, Karen'll come around.
I mean, she has to know that it wasn't you that night.
You were possessed.
You were someone else.
It was a full moon.
Was it? I don't know, Chim.
We are what we do, right? How can I claim to be a family woman, a faithful woman, when I did that? What if I've just been pretending with Karen? What, so you don't want to get back together with her? Of course I do.
I love her.
I'm just dealing with an existential crisis.
Like, what if that's not who I am? Can we be together now that I've exposed this truth about myself? What if I, what if I'm a completely different person? You're still a lesbian, right? Well, looks like we came to the right place to get you some answers.
The time of death: 3:30 p.
m.
Guess we're a little late.
LYLE: No, no, no, don't call it.
Hey, hey, I'm not dead.
Come on, Lyle! Wake up! Yours is in there.
The stiff is ours.
LYLE: No, no, no, no, no, don't leave.
No, please.
Help me! I don't know what happened.
He just keeled over.
Fell like a stone.
I had just finished reading his palm.
This man's lifeline was really long.
Well, it's not an exact science, now, is it? Left hand, please.
Relax and breathe.
Deep breaths.
Look, Hen, I'm just saying, making one crazy mistake, you know, doesn't make you a completely different human being.
It just makes you human.
Except it wasn't a mistake.
It was a choice, Chim.
And I got to ask myself, why? Why would I make that choice? Risk everything? Would you like a quick reading from me? I'd like for you to keep breathing into this bag and mind your own business.
I knew she was gonna say that.
Here you go.
Oh, thank you so much, Carla.
You're welcome.
You going on a trip? Uh No Oh, no, that's my mom's.
I have to send it back so that no one steals her identity.
She never traveled.
- Well, not Mom.
- [CHUCKLES.]
She got married so young.
She always talked about traveling.
"I'm going to go to Ireland.
- I'm going to eat my way across Europe.
" - [LAUGHS.]
She didn't do it, though.
She only I think she only went to Yeah, Mexico Cabo.
It was for, uh, Matt and Beth's renewal of their vows.
CARLA: Hmm.
You good? I mean, you had me a little worried when you said you were going back to work.
But you seem good.
- I do? - Yeah.
I guess I'm good.
Oh.
I wanted you to have that.
They were my mom's and they're not really valuable or anything, but they meant a lot to her and you meant a lot to her.
You meant a lot to both of us.
I love them.
[CHUCKLES.]
But, um, you sure you want to give these to me? Oh, I have so many things to remind me of my mom.
And I want you to have something to remind you of her.
As if I could ever forget Patricia.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Or you.
Thank you for the earrings and, uh, making me feel like part of the family.
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
LYLE: Somebody, anybody, for the love of God, I'm not dead.
WOMAN [OVER P.
A.
.]
: Forensic Pathology, 2211.
LYLE: Wake up, Lyle, move something.
Anything.
Get 'em to notice, come on.
This isn't happening.
Damn it, Lyle, wake up.
I don't want to die! - [CRIES OUT.]
- [GASPS.]
[BLADE CUTTING.]
[LINE RINGS.]
DISPATCHER: 911.
What's your emergency? Um Oh, hey, down here.
Come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Wait.
- HEN: You I you're At-at the psychic's house.
You-you-you were I was dead, right? Oh, you might want to, um - I had to improvise.
- Oh.
- Wound's pretty deep but no severed artery.
- Pulse is good.
- I'm gonna hit him with some amyl nitrite.
- Okay.
- Ow! - Okay.
Relax, relax.
- Relax.
Just relax for me.
- Ow! We got you.
We got you.
- We got you.
- [GROANING.]
CHIMNEY: And how about you? Are you okay? I'm just gonna check your vitals.
You seem surprisingly calm for a dead guy.
I have narcolepsy with cataplexy.
No way.
He wasn't dead.
He-he fell into a paralytic sleep.
- And your vitals were imperceptible.
- No way.
You must've, like, freaked out when you woke up on this table.
Yeah, well, I mean, I did - the first time it happened.
- First time? This has happened more than once? Yeah.
I-I've been pronounced dead by accident three times.
What? That's insane.
You think maybe you want to wear a bracelet so you can tell people you have this disorder? Yeah, maybe a tattoo across your chest that says, "Do not use bone saw, I am not dead!" with, like, ten exclamation points.
No, I don't want people to know.
I'm sure he would have appreciated it.
Damn straight! No, I'm serious.
Each time that I die I wake up a completely different person.
Each time I am reminded of just how precious life is.
It's a gift.
And, you know, I'm terrified of the day that I don't wake up in time and they actually bury me alive.
But, uh, until then death becomes me.
Hey.
God, Hen what are you doing here? I know you go grocery shopping on Fridays.
I didn't want to make a scene at your parents' house in front of Denny.
S-So you thought confronting me in the Bristol Farms parking lot was better? I would've preferred a phone call, but you haven't returned mine.
[SIGHS.]
Look, I - I'm not blowing you off.
- [KEYLESS ENTRY BEEPS.]
I'm just busy with everything.
Can I please get five minutes? Fine.
I'm listening.
Karen, I love you.
- [SCOFFS.]
- I know.
I know that doesn't mean a whole lot right now, but it's all I've got.
You you and Denny, you're everything to me.
Hen, I can't.
I can't.
I messed up.
[KAREN GROANS.]
I'm a mess.
But you get me, Karen.
Not a lot of people do.
Please.
Please come home.
You you hurt me, Hen.
I wish, I wish, I wish the person that went over to Eva's that night wasn't me, 'cause you know that's not who I am.
Hen, I can't.
I-I can't do this.
I can't do this right now.
I have to I have to make dinner and I-I have to get Denny ready for bed.
- Karen, I love you.
- [SIGHS.]
I-I know you know that.
I do.
[DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE STARTS.]
So, what did your brother you know, did he like me? [BOTH LAUGH.]
- I think he did.
- Yeah? Although he was really funny when he thought you had moved in with me.
I guess I kind of did, right? Is that okay, my-my stuff being at your place? Yeah.
I mean, I hadn't really thought about it like that.
You've been so amazing through this.
- I got your back, you know that.
- Really.
DAPHNE: Hello, Evan.
Um, hi.
You seriously don't recognize me.
I look exactly like my profile pic.
Daphne B.
The girl that you've been DMing for the past three months.
Well, until you fell off the face of the earth.
You think it's cool to just blow people off? No, no, no, hold on, hold on.
This cannot be happening again.
What do you mean, "again"? You said that I had the prettiest eyes you'd ever seen.
They're real, unlike your profile status.
- You said you were single.
- Did you say that recently? No, no, Abby, Abby, this is, this is just a big misunderstanding.
No, no, no, there's no misunderstanding.
I've been communicating with this jerkwad for three months, and now he doesn't know who I am.
You're the second girl in two days to say that I've ghosted them.
Whoa.
Hey, come on.
Oh, my God.
I just did you a huge favor, lady.
You're welcome.
What? No, I-I swear.
I don't know who that was.
I thought you weren't doing that anymore.
Hey, I'm not.
You know, hey, you know me, right? Come on.
I don't know.
I don't even know who I am right now.
But I definitely don't feel like I know who you are right now.
Abby.
Abby, come on.
YOLO.
I learned that term from my boy.
I know the kids coined it only just to justify doing something irresponsible, but you only have one 50th birthday.
- No arguments here.
- Half a century of living, most of it pushing insurance? I know I deserve this.
[SIGHS.]
My wife is completely against it.
- Ah, they usually are.
- Meg would lose her mind - if she knew I was here even browsing.
- Well, she'll forget she ever felt that way after you take her for a spin on one of these bad boys.
[SIGHS.]
She's usually right about stuff.
Knowing me And I even told her this I'd probably ride the thing a few times and then just lose interest.
But I don't know.
[LAUGHS.]
[EXHALES.]
I told my boy I was doing this.
I promised him he'd see his old man come home looking like some kind of badass Easy Rider.
[LAUGHS.]
[KENNY SIGHS.]
These bikes, you got any of these in red? Hard roads and endless lines Flow through his veins Cold steel and hot fuel injected Is the dream that fills his brain But no, not slow The speed fever grows He rides, he sees He knows [TIRES SCREECHING.]
[HORN HONKING.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
ATHENA: Where's the captain? Not much we can do for him.
Speed of impact tore him clean in two.
He's lost a lot of blood.
I don't know how he's made it this long.
Well, the helmet probably kept him from dying on impact.
His circulatory system is keeping his heart beating, killing him at the same time, pumping all his blood out into the street.
He's got minutes.
KENNY: So stupid.
What time is it? I have to get home.
Meg's gonna lose it.
She's gonna frickin' lose it.
Ethan's probably still outside.
- Who's Ethan? - My son.
He's on the porch, he's waiting for me, he's outside, waiting for me.
I told him to, so he could see me come home.
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
How long before you guys have me out of here? I'm so frickin' late.
Right now, your comfort is our priority, so I want you to just take a deep breath, try to stay still and relax.
- Okay.
- [PHONE BUZZING.]
What's that? What's this, your phone? - You want your phone? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
All right, we'll get your phone.
- Okay.
That's right - Okay.
- Oh, it's him.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, pal.
Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm late, I know, I'm trying.
I'm try yeah, I got it.
I got it, like we said.
96 Twin Cam engine, yeah.
1,560 CCs, cherry red Oh, it's bad.
It's bad, just like the one we saw online.
Oh, it cooks, buddy.
I was hauling up Alameda like a badass.
Yeah, like a real Hells Angel.
Your old dad was like a new man, buddy, I'm telling you.
Uh, hey, and don't tell Mom: this thing is a chick magnet.
[LAUGHS, COUGHS.]
Yeah, yeah.
I was on top of the world, pal, but let me tell you something: I would have felt just as good if I was on a ten-speed bike, 'cause I knew I was coming home to you.
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSIONS.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
I love you, son.
[WHEEZES.]
ETHAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Dad? POLICE OFFICER: Ethan? Hi.
Is your mom home? Why don't you put her on the phone.
[THUNDER CRASHING.]
ATHENA: Yeah.
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSIONS.]
Hey.
I'm sorry, that was unprofessional.
Oh, no one bats a thousand.
Not with the things we got to see every day.
When I'm on duty, this is who I need to be.
But the second I walk through my door at night, I turn into a completely different person.
Everybody here today looks like they're holding it together.
No doubt, they're going through a box of tissues tonight.
Anything I can do to help you with this one? Yeah.
Will you go somewhere with me? [FIRE ENGINE SIREN.]
Hey yo, Rebar! Come clean.
This is you, right? Putting girls up to this, you think you're funny? You know what, Buck, I really wish it was me Okay, you wish, you wish.
- Let's see - but it's not.
I bet if you updated your relationship status on your Myspace page, it might clear up all of this confusion.
Hey, who even uses Myspace? Oh, evidently, you do.
The hell.
That's my Facebook picture.
Yet another disappointed young lady came into the firehouse today.
After I convinced her to stop shouting and throwing rocks, she showed me this.
Don't you get it? Some weirdo saw your B-movie star looks in the news, and thought pretending to be you would be a good lure to catfish the women of L.
A.
So I'm a-I'm a Yankees fan who loves Star Wars? Uh, Star Wars prequels.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Hey, it's not funny.
This is really messed up.
Yeah, it is, but come on, some dude doing the boring legwork, having hotties come to your door, I mean, what, is that really that awful? Abby is freaking out.
This cannot keep happening.
Who is he? Okay, your imposter's not that bright.
He's already started exchanging e-mails with Brandy.
- Who's Brandy? - The angry girl throwing the rocks.
Who's actually very smart and very cool, and who may or may not come to my place next week to watch the game with us, so please, don't come.
The point is, if you know what you're looking for, you can find the I.
P.
address in the header of the messages.
Just looks like a bunch of random numbers.
Yeah, Buck, random numbers that we can trace to his actual address.
[BELL TOLLING.]
BOBBY: Thanks for coming here with me.
You ever go to church? ATHENA: Every Sunday.
But I'm Baptist.
So we don't "go to church," we "do church.
" I'm here three or four times a week.
Keeps me out of trouble.
Uh, when I'm here alone, I can confess, pray, find the quiet to forgive and forget.
You think coming here and praying it away can work? Works for me, most of the time.
Some things are tough to shake.
Hmm.
Oh, what a life we chose, huh? No one on the outside can understand it.
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
Whenever I walk into a new place, the first thing I do is look around for something I can use as a splint.
I check to see if anyone's carrying a gun.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
It's exhausting.
Yeah.
But it can be so damn fun.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Could I ask you to pray with me? I'd like that.
- [DOG BARKING.]
- BUCK: Hey! Hey, catfish! The jig is up.
Easy, guy, now keep a cool head.
This guy's a criminal.
Come on, freak, we got your number.
Open up.
- Maybe he's not home.
- [BANGS DOOR.]
LAFD! Come to the door! Must be a recluse, or a meth addict.
He's blacked out all the windows.
Oh, geez.
[FLIES BUZZING.]
Oh, this is not gonna be pretty.
BUCK: How does this happen? CHIMNEY: My guess? Heart attack.
It's kind of sad, you know? The coroner said he's probably been lying there ten days, but no one notices? CHIMNEY: The guy was a shut-in.
The park manager says no one's seen him in, like, two years.
- [GURGLING.]
- BUCK: Well, it's tragic.
Let's not forget, this was an online predator.
Was he, though? It's not like he was tricking women into hooking up.
He never went out.
If he could even get out.
Why are you defending him? I'm just saying.
It's kind of a bummer, you know? He hated himself so much he had to pretend to be someone else.
Don't get a lot of cases that bloat this much.
Body's probably double the size it was at time of death.
- [GURGLING.]
- Bloat set in after rigor mortis, filled him with methane and CO2, along with decomposition fluids, probably 'cause it's so hot in here, and he expired with a full stomach.
CORONER: I just don't know how to get him out of here.
We either got to knock down this wall, or [CHUCKLES.]
roll this whole thing down to the morgue.
[CROWD CHATTER.]
No.
No.
Okay, look, this guy may not have lived with much dignity, but maybe, he can still die with some.
I mean, these people are already treating him like he's a circus sideshow.
Now, let's not make it any more of a spectacle.
I know a way we can get him out of here in a body bag.
That's a great speech, but that would take hours.
Why? You just drain all the gas and gunk and stuff.
We would have to use large bore needles and start the embalming process here.
Okay, so let's do that.
[SIGHS.]
He's dead.
He doesn't care if people are gawking at him.
All right? He doesn't have any feelings to hurt anymore.
[SNIFFS.]
Listen You are not about to beat up a coroner, now are you, Buck? Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No! No! - [HISSING, GURGLING.]
- Ugh.
[GROANS.]
[SCOFFS.]
Nice work.
Yeah, I thought he was gonna pop.
I told you, draining him is going to take time.
What do you got, dinner reservations? Let's get to work, okay? CHIMNEY: Oh, God.
- [HISSING.]
- [FLY BUZZING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh.
[COUGHS.]
- Oh, oh.
- [COUGHS.]
[FLY BUZZING.]
- Is that it? Is it done? - I think so.
Oh, God! Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
[CROWD CHATTER.]
All right, guys, clear a path.
Come on.
Move back, please.
Have a little respect.
Out of the way.
Thank you.
Hey, thank you.
Yeah.
Nice job, Buck.
You did good.
[SIREN WAILING.]
BUCK: He was, like, a 350 pound mess, been dead for a whole week.
These girls are getting blown off because the dude died.
That-that is all there is to it.
Okay? I-I need you I need you to know that, I need you Abby, do you believe me? Yeah, I believe you.
I believe you.
[SIGHS.]
: Okay.
I'm kind of relieved, 'cause I was feeling a little crazy - there for a minute.
- No, no.
Hey, hey.
You're so not crazy.
- You're so not crazy, okay? - It's a crazy story.
No Yeah.
We got there and it was just Um Are you-you going somewhere? Um I bought a plane ticket to go to Dublin.
Dublin, as in Dublin, Ireland? Yes, Dublin, Ireland.
I'm-I'm gonna go for a while, probably.
I don't know.
I don't know how long.
A few months maybe.
W-Why? For Mom.
She always wanted to go to Ireland.
She never went.
So I need to go.
Also because I'm kind of lost, Buck.
And I just lost my mom, but I realize I also kind of lost myself a long time ago, and I-I don't know, I think somewhere along the way, I just started caring so much for everybody else that I stopped caring for myself.
I mean, I used to be a person who would travel the world swimming in competitions.
And I demanded so much from myself.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
: And I feel like I need to find that again.
Because I feel like I need to have something to give to my job and to the people who are counting on me and to the people that I care about.
I care about you so much.
You're amazing.
And these last few months, I think you've gotten me, at least halfway, to the person I want to be.
But I've got to do this so that I know I have something to give.
I'm excited for you.
Almost as much as I am, um sad for me.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
Hey boss, I put you down for tacos.
Oh.
Not exactly game night attire.
I can't make it tonight.
I have a date.
No way.
You actually found a match with that time capsule post? - [CHUCKLES.]
- So, uh, what's the plan? Little ER marathon followed by a little Montell Jordan as you move into the bedroom? All right.
How do I look? I'd lose the tie.
I got to wear a tie.
You look like a lawyer.
[BOBBY GROANS.]
[CHIMNEY CHUCKLES.]
All right.
- How's that? What? - Uh, wait.
- That's better.
- Not too much? Not too much.
Perfect.
I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous.
Well, it's kind of weird, once you get out of your own way, you start to see everything and everyone in a whole new light.
All right.
- Have fun tonight, Cap.
- Thanks, Chim.
And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep ABBY: I read about a woman in Detroit who owns over a thousand wigs.
Can you imagine? A thousand different possibilities.
It's always darkest before the dawn It's actually impossible to become a different person.
You can only be better, worse, or a variation of the person you already are.
I can see no way, I can see no way [SIGHS.]
Don't make me regret this.
I'm always dragging that horse around I promise I won't.
Our love is pastured such a mournful sound Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground 'Cause I like to keep my issues strong It's always darkest before the dawn - Oh! - [CHEERING.]
Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh And it's hard to dance ABBY: We are all pliable, constantly adjusting to our circumstances Oh, whoa - Hey.
- Hey.
ABBY: throwing caution to the wind, becoming who we need to be in the moment.
[PLANE PASSING OVERHEAD.]
You're not gonna come in with me? I learned a while ago, you never go beyond the glass doors.
I must be crazy to be leaving you behind.
You're not leaving anything behind.
You're moving toward something.
And I'm gonna be right here when you come back, okay? Go on.
You got this, okay? Take care of yourself, okay? You, too, Abby.
Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh And it's hard to dance With a devil on your back So shake him off, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh And it's hard to dance With a devil on your back So shake him off, oh, whoa.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
You clean up nice, too.
ABBY: The only reward you get at the end of trying not to be who you were, or witnessing someone else change into a person you barely recognize, is being able to finally sit in front of another human being wearing every one of those thousand wigs and try again.
[BOBBY CHUCKLES.]
: Mom? MAN: I am so sorry.
ABBY: Who are you? Are you the same person you've always been? If you'd asked me a week ago, I would have had an easy answer.
But a pulmonary embolism came in the middle of the night, taking my mother and my certainty.
Before, I would have said that I'd been losing my mother for years, as an illness stripped away the person she once was, but maybe the truth is I'm the one who disappeared in slow motion.
Her things tell the story of who she was, who she was proud to be: a wife, a mother, a grandmother.
I see her so clearly.
It's my own reflection that's become hazy.
Looks good.
Looks like a dining room again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- [SOBBING.]
- Hey, I'm here.
I got you, I got you, I got you.
MAN: I will break down this door.
DIANE [BRITISH ACCENT.]
: Bloody hell, go away! Sir, hands in the air.
- Just open the door, honey.
- Sir, hands in the air.
Oh, good What? What the hell are you doing? Look, I didn't do anything.
Okay? No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
All right, we'll sort this out later.
- Okay.
Look - Here.
Take him out of here.
There's something happening to my wife.
OFFICER: All right.
Calm down.
We'll get this all sorted out.
Miss, LAPD here.
Are you all right? Everything's okay.
Your husband's out of the house.
I'm not gonna let him hurt you.
It's okay.
Everything's fine.
I don't know what set him off.
He's acting absolutely bonkers.
I mean, I mean, we get into an argy-bargy every fortnight or so.
He'll go to spare, - do his nut, but he never goes mad like this.
- Sit down.
[HICCUPS.]
Oh.
[HICCUPS.]
Wow, those are some world-class hiccups.
I'm sorry, it's so embarrassing.
[HICCUPS.]
I woke up half nine with a migraine, had a spot of tea, and they just started.
An hour later and I can't get [HICCUPS.]
rid of them.
Okay, can you tell me what happened? OFFICER: Domestic call.
Guy got into it with his wife.
Claims she threw a picture frame - at his head.
- I'm not claiming anything.
That's what happened.
Look, forget about me.
There's something going on with my wife.
Sir, just relax, we have to take a look at your head.
Doesn't look too bad, does it, Chim? No.
Couple stitches.
Easy-peasy.
Let me clean it up first.
David, the bobbies are asking if I want to press charges.
The "bobbies"? Baby, there is something wrong with you.
Ma'am, you don't have to decide right now.
- We can take him - No, Officer, you don't understand.
- I understand just fine.
- No, you don't.
She's not British.
Yeah, that's not her voice.
She was born in Brooklyn.
The bobbies? The closest she's ever been to England is binge-watching episodes of Downton Abbey.
I don't know what he's talking about.
David, you're frightening me.
Look, we woke up this morning, and she just starts speaking like that.
It's bloody this, bloody that.
A spot of tea.
All this weird British slang that I've never heard before.
- [HICCUPS.]
- At first, I thought she was joking, but then it didn't stop, and I don't know what the hell's going on.
So, I try to take her to the hospital.
She freaked out, so I called 911.
Did she hit her head? Was she in an accident recently? - No, not that I know of.
- Hey.
She told me she woke up this morning with a migraine.
That and violent hiccups.
That coupled with obvious chest pains, I-I think she's having a stroke.
A stroke? Wouldn't she have slurred speech or paralysis or something? A man would, but a woman learns that symptoms can be different.
Big-ass hiccups is one of them.
She's right.
Stick your tongue out for me.
- When's your birthday? - Right, it's, um April.
Okay.
Take my hand, come with me.
Chim, get the TPA injection ready.
Take it easy, okay? Just sit down right here.
There's a clot that's preventing oxygen to get to her brain, so her synapses are misfiring.
ATHENA: That could cause her to speak with a British accent? The brain is still the great unknown.
Some people wake up from a coma and can suddenly speak Mandarin.
CHIMNEY: Please put your arm right here.
All right, let's get her to the hospital.
- Come on.
- Are we taking the tube? Hey, hey, hey, is she gonna be all right? CHIMNEY: The shot should keep her safe until we get her to the hospital.
Okay.
Thank you.
Don't thank us.
Thank her.
Thank you.
[QUIETLY.]
: Hey, hey.
- Hmm? - I found another Patricia box.
Oh [LAUGHS.]
- Wow, she kept it all.
- Yeah.
It seems like Abby doesn't want to keep any of it.
Mm.
No way.
Look at this.
- This is her, right? - That's Abby.
BUCK: Abigail Clark.
You never told me you made the Olympic team.
What is this? [CHUCKLES.]
MATTHEW: 200-meter butterfly.
She was a rock star.
That was a long time ago.
BUCK: You got to have this out.
You should be proud.
You were an Olympian.
I'm gonna grab a frame for it.
You got some empty ones in the closet.
I'm that's going up, that's for sure.
You didn't tell me he moved in.
He didn't move in.
I [SCOFFS.]
Abby, he knows what's in your bedroom closet.
And he's taken over the medicine cabinet.
Okay, stay out of my medicine cabinet.
He did not move in, he's just been here a lot because he's been helping me deal with everything.
MATTHEW: Okay [SIGHS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[CAMERA CLICKING.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- One sec.
I'll be right out.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[TYPING.]
CHIMNEY: Why you so mopey? Pasta? HEN: Nah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What was that all about? What? You closed your laptop as soon as we walked in here, like you were hiding something.
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
BOBBY: I just took a sip of tea.
- Chim! - Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
CHIMNEY: RomancingTheUniform.
com? That's my dating site.
That's where I met Tatiana.
Holy crap, are you actually putting yourself back out on the scene? My sponsor said maybe it's time.
I spend too much time in my work, in my head, and that dating, having a girlfriend would help get me out in the world.
I think it's great, you taking the leap.
It's brave.
While at the moment, I think that dating or sleeping with someone is not worth the trouble, but I'm happy for you.
Look, this just isn't me.
I-I feel like a probie stretching his first job.
You're not a rookie, you're just rusty.
Last time I had a date, I was in my 20s.
Yeah, this is terrible.
And this picture looks like you're trying to sell real estate from a bus stop bench.
And you know what? I will not be buying.
All right? You cannot describe yourself as, "I am a lifesaver, - not a heartbreaker.
" - Why not? That's solid, sweet.
No, it is cheese.
Sweet, sweet cheese.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- You like flan? Good flan is the bomb.
- [LAUGHING.]
: Oh, he - You don't? You have an AOL e-mail account still? It is literally like you were frozen in ember in 1995.
It's "amber," not "ember," you idiot.
Who cares? You can never show this to a girl.
- Why not? - Okay, this profile is a joke profile for a guy no one ever wants to go out with.
You know what, maybe you are not the right person he should be taking dating advice from, Buckaroo.
And why is that? Because last time I checked, I'm in a stable, monogamous relationship with an amazing woman.
He I'm the healthiest dater at this whole table.
- Oh, my God, he's right.
- [LAUGHTER.]
The world is turned upside down.
[LAUGHTER.]
Yeah, okay, laugh, huh? I am proof that real change is possible.
ALYSSA: What the hell, Evan Buckley? BOBBY: Can we help you? You lead me on for six weeks? The sexiest, deepest, most romantic, most intimate relationship I've ever had with a man I told you everything.
You told me everything.
And I am not an easy nut to crack.
Is this your sick game? Make a girl reveal every fear and secret and turn-on, and then you just disappear? Is ghosting girls your thing? I'm sorry, are you sure you have the right Evan Buckley? You mean the Evan Buckley who's a firefighter? Who works here and was on the news, and climbed a roller coaster and looks exactly like you? Listen, yeah, sure, that-that is definitely me.
But the-the me that I am, and the him that you're describing, that is not the same person.
BOBBY: Whoa! Hey, whoa.
You see that? No, no, I swear, I have never seen her before.
- If you say so.
- No, I do say so.
Okay, I swear, I-I don't know who that was.
I have I have found real intimacy.
Right? You know this.
Come on.
I haven't even flirted - with anyone else.
- Sure, you haven't.
Yep, you're proof that real change is possible.
[ALARM RINGING.]
[INDISTINCT DISPATCHER CHATTER.]
Guys - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Don't forget your bathing suits.
Dad says there's a pool.
Yeah, and your moisturizer and gel.
I'm too old to have my dad twist my hair.
Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a minute.
Th-That's my specialty.
Well, humor the old man.
[CHUCKLES.]
I hope you don't mind, I let myself in.
Well, as long as your children live here, those locks aren't gonna change.
Hey.
Now, you know I'm gonna miss you.
[LAUGHS.]
Aw.
Okay, so do we all need to talk about all of this? You know, first weekend away with Dad since we split up.
I feel like this is one of those things where talking about it will only make it harder.
Yeah, and it's not our first time going away with Dad alone.
Yeah, but this is different.
Do you guys need to talk about all this? No, it's all right.
We get it.
- All right.
Mm-hmm.
- Right? All right.
Have fun.
- Okay, bye.
- Okay, all right.
All right, let's make it happen.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Are you okay? - Hmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
- You know, if you're worried about Glenn, I mean, you have my word - he will not be around at all.
- No.
I trust you.
It's just it's gonna be weird sleeping here with my babies out under some other roof.
Oh.
Being without you is hard enough.
- Being without them? - Mm.
It just makes me see why people stay together - for the sake of the kids.
- Yeah.
I just never pictured myself being a person who doesn't wake up every day in the same house with her children.
But this is us now.
We're on our way to being better people, more authentic people.
And that journey, well, it just isn't free.
Hmm.
Hey.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
CHIMNEY: Hen, Karen'll come around.
I mean, she has to know that it wasn't you that night.
You were possessed.
You were someone else.
It was a full moon.
Was it? I don't know, Chim.
We are what we do, right? How can I claim to be a family woman, a faithful woman, when I did that? What if I've just been pretending with Karen? What, so you don't want to get back together with her? Of course I do.
I love her.
I'm just dealing with an existential crisis.
Like, what if that's not who I am? Can we be together now that I've exposed this truth about myself? What if I, what if I'm a completely different person? You're still a lesbian, right? Well, looks like we came to the right place to get you some answers.
The time of death: 3:30 p.
m.
Guess we're a little late.
LYLE: No, no, no, don't call it.
Hey, hey, I'm not dead.
Come on, Lyle! Wake up! Yours is in there.
The stiff is ours.
LYLE: No, no, no, no, no, don't leave.
No, please.
Help me! I don't know what happened.
He just keeled over.
Fell like a stone.
I had just finished reading his palm.
This man's lifeline was really long.
Well, it's not an exact science, now, is it? Left hand, please.
Relax and breathe.
Deep breaths.
Look, Hen, I'm just saying, making one crazy mistake, you know, doesn't make you a completely different human being.
It just makes you human.
Except it wasn't a mistake.
It was a choice, Chim.
And I got to ask myself, why? Why would I make that choice? Risk everything? Would you like a quick reading from me? I'd like for you to keep breathing into this bag and mind your own business.
I knew she was gonna say that.
Here you go.
Oh, thank you so much, Carla.
You're welcome.
You going on a trip? Uh No Oh, no, that's my mom's.
I have to send it back so that no one steals her identity.
She never traveled.
- Well, not Mom.
- [CHUCKLES.]
She got married so young.
She always talked about traveling.
"I'm going to go to Ireland.
- I'm going to eat my way across Europe.
" - [LAUGHS.]
She didn't do it, though.
She only I think she only went to Yeah, Mexico Cabo.
It was for, uh, Matt and Beth's renewal of their vows.
CARLA: Hmm.
You good? I mean, you had me a little worried when you said you were going back to work.
But you seem good.
- I do? - Yeah.
I guess I'm good.
Oh.
I wanted you to have that.
They were my mom's and they're not really valuable or anything, but they meant a lot to her and you meant a lot to her.
You meant a lot to both of us.
I love them.
[CHUCKLES.]
But, um, you sure you want to give these to me? Oh, I have so many things to remind me of my mom.
And I want you to have something to remind you of her.
As if I could ever forget Patricia.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Or you.
Thank you for the earrings and, uh, making me feel like part of the family.
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
LYLE: Somebody, anybody, for the love of God, I'm not dead.
WOMAN [OVER P.
A.
.]
: Forensic Pathology, 2211.
LYLE: Wake up, Lyle, move something.
Anything.
Get 'em to notice, come on.
This isn't happening.
Damn it, Lyle, wake up.
I don't want to die! - [CRIES OUT.]
- [GASPS.]
[BLADE CUTTING.]
[LINE RINGS.]
DISPATCHER: 911.
What's your emergency? Um Oh, hey, down here.
Come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Wait.
- HEN: You I you're At-at the psychic's house.
You-you-you were I was dead, right? Oh, you might want to, um - I had to improvise.
- Oh.
- Wound's pretty deep but no severed artery.
- Pulse is good.
- I'm gonna hit him with some amyl nitrite.
- Okay.
- Ow! - Okay.
Relax, relax.
- Relax.
Just relax for me.
- Ow! We got you.
We got you.
- We got you.
- [GROANING.]
CHIMNEY: And how about you? Are you okay? I'm just gonna check your vitals.
You seem surprisingly calm for a dead guy.
I have narcolepsy with cataplexy.
No way.
He wasn't dead.
He-he fell into a paralytic sleep.
- And your vitals were imperceptible.
- No way.
You must've, like, freaked out when you woke up on this table.
Yeah, well, I mean, I did - the first time it happened.
- First time? This has happened more than once? Yeah.
I-I've been pronounced dead by accident three times.
What? That's insane.
You think maybe you want to wear a bracelet so you can tell people you have this disorder? Yeah, maybe a tattoo across your chest that says, "Do not use bone saw, I am not dead!" with, like, ten exclamation points.
No, I don't want people to know.
I'm sure he would have appreciated it.
Damn straight! No, I'm serious.
Each time that I die I wake up a completely different person.
Each time I am reminded of just how precious life is.
It's a gift.
And, you know, I'm terrified of the day that I don't wake up in time and they actually bury me alive.
But, uh, until then death becomes me.
Hey.
God, Hen what are you doing here? I know you go grocery shopping on Fridays.
I didn't want to make a scene at your parents' house in front of Denny.
S-So you thought confronting me in the Bristol Farms parking lot was better? I would've preferred a phone call, but you haven't returned mine.
[SIGHS.]
Look, I - I'm not blowing you off.
- [KEYLESS ENTRY BEEPS.]
I'm just busy with everything.
Can I please get five minutes? Fine.
I'm listening.
Karen, I love you.
- [SCOFFS.]
- I know.
I know that doesn't mean a whole lot right now, but it's all I've got.
You you and Denny, you're everything to me.
Hen, I can't.
I can't.
I messed up.
[KAREN GROANS.]
I'm a mess.
But you get me, Karen.
Not a lot of people do.
Please.
Please come home.
You you hurt me, Hen.
I wish, I wish, I wish the person that went over to Eva's that night wasn't me, 'cause you know that's not who I am.
Hen, I can't.
I-I can't do this.
I can't do this right now.
I have to I have to make dinner and I-I have to get Denny ready for bed.
- Karen, I love you.
- [SIGHS.]
I-I know you know that.
I do.
[DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE STARTS.]
So, what did your brother you know, did he like me? [BOTH LAUGH.]
- I think he did.
- Yeah? Although he was really funny when he thought you had moved in with me.
I guess I kind of did, right? Is that okay, my-my stuff being at your place? Yeah.
I mean, I hadn't really thought about it like that.
You've been so amazing through this.
- I got your back, you know that.
- Really.
DAPHNE: Hello, Evan.
Um, hi.
You seriously don't recognize me.
I look exactly like my profile pic.
Daphne B.
The girl that you've been DMing for the past three months.
Well, until you fell off the face of the earth.
You think it's cool to just blow people off? No, no, no, hold on, hold on.
This cannot be happening again.
What do you mean, "again"? You said that I had the prettiest eyes you'd ever seen.
They're real, unlike your profile status.
- You said you were single.
- Did you say that recently? No, no, Abby, Abby, this is, this is just a big misunderstanding.
No, no, no, there's no misunderstanding.
I've been communicating with this jerkwad for three months, and now he doesn't know who I am.
You're the second girl in two days to say that I've ghosted them.
Whoa.
Hey, come on.
Oh, my God.
I just did you a huge favor, lady.
You're welcome.
What? No, I-I swear.
I don't know who that was.
I thought you weren't doing that anymore.
Hey, I'm not.
You know, hey, you know me, right? Come on.
I don't know.
I don't even know who I am right now.
But I definitely don't feel like I know who you are right now.
Abby.
Abby, come on.
YOLO.
I learned that term from my boy.
I know the kids coined it only just to justify doing something irresponsible, but you only have one 50th birthday.
- No arguments here.
- Half a century of living, most of it pushing insurance? I know I deserve this.
[SIGHS.]
My wife is completely against it.
- Ah, they usually are.
- Meg would lose her mind - if she knew I was here even browsing.
- Well, she'll forget she ever felt that way after you take her for a spin on one of these bad boys.
[SIGHS.]
She's usually right about stuff.
Knowing me And I even told her this I'd probably ride the thing a few times and then just lose interest.
But I don't know.
[LAUGHS.]
[EXHALES.]
I told my boy I was doing this.
I promised him he'd see his old man come home looking like some kind of badass Easy Rider.
[LAUGHS.]
[KENNY SIGHS.]
These bikes, you got any of these in red? Hard roads and endless lines Flow through his veins Cold steel and hot fuel injected Is the dream that fills his brain But no, not slow The speed fever grows He rides, he sees He knows [TIRES SCREECHING.]
[HORN HONKING.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
ATHENA: Where's the captain? Not much we can do for him.
Speed of impact tore him clean in two.
He's lost a lot of blood.
I don't know how he's made it this long.
Well, the helmet probably kept him from dying on impact.
His circulatory system is keeping his heart beating, killing him at the same time, pumping all his blood out into the street.
He's got minutes.
KENNY: So stupid.
What time is it? I have to get home.
Meg's gonna lose it.
She's gonna frickin' lose it.
Ethan's probably still outside.
- Who's Ethan? - My son.
He's on the porch, he's waiting for me, he's outside, waiting for me.
I told him to, so he could see me come home.
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
How long before you guys have me out of here? I'm so frickin' late.
Right now, your comfort is our priority, so I want you to just take a deep breath, try to stay still and relax.
- Okay.
- [PHONE BUZZING.]
What's that? What's this, your phone? - You want your phone? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
All right, we'll get your phone.
- Okay.
That's right - Okay.
- Oh, it's him.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, pal.
Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm late, I know, I'm trying.
I'm try yeah, I got it.
I got it, like we said.
96 Twin Cam engine, yeah.
1,560 CCs, cherry red Oh, it's bad.
It's bad, just like the one we saw online.
Oh, it cooks, buddy.
I was hauling up Alameda like a badass.
Yeah, like a real Hells Angel.
Your old dad was like a new man, buddy, I'm telling you.
Uh, hey, and don't tell Mom: this thing is a chick magnet.
[LAUGHS, COUGHS.]
Yeah, yeah.
I was on top of the world, pal, but let me tell you something: I would have felt just as good if I was on a ten-speed bike, 'cause I knew I was coming home to you.
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSIONS.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
I love you, son.
[WHEEZES.]
ETHAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Dad? POLICE OFFICER: Ethan? Hi.
Is your mom home? Why don't you put her on the phone.
[THUNDER CRASHING.]
ATHENA: Yeah.
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSIONS.]
Hey.
I'm sorry, that was unprofessional.
Oh, no one bats a thousand.
Not with the things we got to see every day.
When I'm on duty, this is who I need to be.
But the second I walk through my door at night, I turn into a completely different person.
Everybody here today looks like they're holding it together.
No doubt, they're going through a box of tissues tonight.
Anything I can do to help you with this one? Yeah.
Will you go somewhere with me? [FIRE ENGINE SIREN.]
Hey yo, Rebar! Come clean.
This is you, right? Putting girls up to this, you think you're funny? You know what, Buck, I really wish it was me Okay, you wish, you wish.
- Let's see - but it's not.
I bet if you updated your relationship status on your Myspace page, it might clear up all of this confusion.
Hey, who even uses Myspace? Oh, evidently, you do.
The hell.
That's my Facebook picture.
Yet another disappointed young lady came into the firehouse today.
After I convinced her to stop shouting and throwing rocks, she showed me this.
Don't you get it? Some weirdo saw your B-movie star looks in the news, and thought pretending to be you would be a good lure to catfish the women of L.
A.
So I'm a-I'm a Yankees fan who loves Star Wars? Uh, Star Wars prequels.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Hey, it's not funny.
This is really messed up.
Yeah, it is, but come on, some dude doing the boring legwork, having hotties come to your door, I mean, what, is that really that awful? Abby is freaking out.
This cannot keep happening.
Who is he? Okay, your imposter's not that bright.
He's already started exchanging e-mails with Brandy.
- Who's Brandy? - The angry girl throwing the rocks.
Who's actually very smart and very cool, and who may or may not come to my place next week to watch the game with us, so please, don't come.
The point is, if you know what you're looking for, you can find the I.
P.
address in the header of the messages.
Just looks like a bunch of random numbers.
Yeah, Buck, random numbers that we can trace to his actual address.
[BELL TOLLING.]
BOBBY: Thanks for coming here with me.
You ever go to church? ATHENA: Every Sunday.
But I'm Baptist.
So we don't "go to church," we "do church.
" I'm here three or four times a week.
Keeps me out of trouble.
Uh, when I'm here alone, I can confess, pray, find the quiet to forgive and forget.
You think coming here and praying it away can work? Works for me, most of the time.
Some things are tough to shake.
Hmm.
Oh, what a life we chose, huh? No one on the outside can understand it.
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
Whenever I walk into a new place, the first thing I do is look around for something I can use as a splint.
I check to see if anyone's carrying a gun.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
It's exhausting.
Yeah.
But it can be so damn fun.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Could I ask you to pray with me? I'd like that.
- [DOG BARKING.]
- BUCK: Hey! Hey, catfish! The jig is up.
Easy, guy, now keep a cool head.
This guy's a criminal.
Come on, freak, we got your number.
Open up.
- Maybe he's not home.
- [BANGS DOOR.]
LAFD! Come to the door! Must be a recluse, or a meth addict.
He's blacked out all the windows.
Oh, geez.
[FLIES BUZZING.]
Oh, this is not gonna be pretty.
BUCK: How does this happen? CHIMNEY: My guess? Heart attack.
It's kind of sad, you know? The coroner said he's probably been lying there ten days, but no one notices? CHIMNEY: The guy was a shut-in.
The park manager says no one's seen him in, like, two years.
- [GURGLING.]
- BUCK: Well, it's tragic.
Let's not forget, this was an online predator.
Was he, though? It's not like he was tricking women into hooking up.
He never went out.
If he could even get out.
Why are you defending him? I'm just saying.
It's kind of a bummer, you know? He hated himself so much he had to pretend to be someone else.
Don't get a lot of cases that bloat this much.
Body's probably double the size it was at time of death.
- [GURGLING.]
- Bloat set in after rigor mortis, filled him with methane and CO2, along with decomposition fluids, probably 'cause it's so hot in here, and he expired with a full stomach.
CORONER: I just don't know how to get him out of here.
We either got to knock down this wall, or [CHUCKLES.]
roll this whole thing down to the morgue.
[CROWD CHATTER.]
No.
No.
Okay, look, this guy may not have lived with much dignity, but maybe, he can still die with some.
I mean, these people are already treating him like he's a circus sideshow.
Now, let's not make it any more of a spectacle.
I know a way we can get him out of here in a body bag.
That's a great speech, but that would take hours.
Why? You just drain all the gas and gunk and stuff.
We would have to use large bore needles and start the embalming process here.
Okay, so let's do that.
[SIGHS.]
He's dead.
He doesn't care if people are gawking at him.
All right? He doesn't have any feelings to hurt anymore.
[SNIFFS.]
Listen You are not about to beat up a coroner, now are you, Buck? Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No! No! - [HISSING, GURGLING.]
- Ugh.
[GROANS.]
[SCOFFS.]
Nice work.
Yeah, I thought he was gonna pop.
I told you, draining him is going to take time.
What do you got, dinner reservations? Let's get to work, okay? CHIMNEY: Oh, God.
- [HISSING.]
- [FLY BUZZING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh.
[COUGHS.]
- Oh, oh.
- [COUGHS.]
[FLY BUZZING.]
- Is that it? Is it done? - I think so.
Oh, God! Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
[CROWD CHATTER.]
All right, guys, clear a path.
Come on.
Move back, please.
Have a little respect.
Out of the way.
Thank you.
Hey, thank you.
Yeah.
Nice job, Buck.
You did good.
[SIREN WAILING.]
BUCK: He was, like, a 350 pound mess, been dead for a whole week.
These girls are getting blown off because the dude died.
That-that is all there is to it.
Okay? I-I need you I need you to know that, I need you Abby, do you believe me? Yeah, I believe you.
I believe you.
[SIGHS.]
: Okay.
I'm kind of relieved, 'cause I was feeling a little crazy - there for a minute.
- No, no.
Hey, hey.
You're so not crazy.
- You're so not crazy, okay? - It's a crazy story.
No Yeah.
We got there and it was just Um Are you-you going somewhere? Um I bought a plane ticket to go to Dublin.
Dublin, as in Dublin, Ireland? Yes, Dublin, Ireland.
I'm-I'm gonna go for a while, probably.
I don't know.
I don't know how long.
A few months maybe.
W-Why? For Mom.
She always wanted to go to Ireland.
She never went.
So I need to go.
Also because I'm kind of lost, Buck.
And I just lost my mom, but I realize I also kind of lost myself a long time ago, and I-I don't know, I think somewhere along the way, I just started caring so much for everybody else that I stopped caring for myself.
I mean, I used to be a person who would travel the world swimming in competitions.
And I demanded so much from myself.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
: And I feel like I need to find that again.
Because I feel like I need to have something to give to my job and to the people who are counting on me and to the people that I care about.
I care about you so much.
You're amazing.
And these last few months, I think you've gotten me, at least halfway, to the person I want to be.
But I've got to do this so that I know I have something to give.
I'm excited for you.
Almost as much as I am, um sad for me.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
Hey boss, I put you down for tacos.
Oh.
Not exactly game night attire.
I can't make it tonight.
I have a date.
No way.
You actually found a match with that time capsule post? - [CHUCKLES.]
- So, uh, what's the plan? Little ER marathon followed by a little Montell Jordan as you move into the bedroom? All right.
How do I look? I'd lose the tie.
I got to wear a tie.
You look like a lawyer.
[BOBBY GROANS.]
[CHIMNEY CHUCKLES.]
All right.
- How's that? What? - Uh, wait.
- That's better.
- Not too much? Not too much.
Perfect.
I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous.
Well, it's kind of weird, once you get out of your own way, you start to see everything and everyone in a whole new light.
All right.
- Have fun tonight, Cap.
- Thanks, Chim.
And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep ABBY: I read about a woman in Detroit who owns over a thousand wigs.
Can you imagine? A thousand different possibilities.
It's always darkest before the dawn It's actually impossible to become a different person.
You can only be better, worse, or a variation of the person you already are.
I can see no way, I can see no way [SIGHS.]
Don't make me regret this.
I'm always dragging that horse around I promise I won't.
Our love is pastured such a mournful sound Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground 'Cause I like to keep my issues strong It's always darkest before the dawn - Oh! - [CHEERING.]
Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh And it's hard to dance ABBY: We are all pliable, constantly adjusting to our circumstances Oh, whoa - Hey.
- Hey.
ABBY: throwing caution to the wind, becoming who we need to be in the moment.
[PLANE PASSING OVERHEAD.]
You're not gonna come in with me? I learned a while ago, you never go beyond the glass doors.
I must be crazy to be leaving you behind.
You're not leaving anything behind.
You're moving toward something.
And I'm gonna be right here when you come back, okay? Go on.
You got this, okay? Take care of yourself, okay? You, too, Abby.
Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh And it's hard to dance With a devil on your back So shake him off, oh, whoa Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh Shake it out, shake it out Shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa-oh And it's hard to dance With a devil on your back So shake him off, oh, whoa.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
You clean up nice, too.
ABBY: The only reward you get at the end of trying not to be who you were, or witnessing someone else change into a person you barely recognize, is being able to finally sit in front of another human being wearing every one of those thousand wigs and try again.
[BOBBY CHUCKLES.]