A Tale Dark & Grimm (2021) s01e10 Episode Script

1
[clunking, whirring]
[thuds]
[whooshing]
[pleasant fairy-tale music plays]
[William] Once upon a time,
fairy tales were awesome.
We know, you don't believe us.
You think fairy tales are cute
and pink and full of fairies.
[chitters]
-[whacks]
-Well, they're not.
-Real fairy tales are scary.
-[thuds]
-[adventurous music plays]
-[cawing]
Follow two children
as they venture off into a dark tale.
-[barking]
-A scary tale.
-A strange tale.
-[howls]
[roars]
-[shrieks]
-A… Wait a minute.
Are you even old enough for this?
-[thudding]
-You really think you can handle it?
[demons chuckle, gibber]
-[music rising]
-[sizzling hiss, bubbling]
[morose music plays]
Once upon a time…
[sighs]
I don't know what to say.
-[horse neighs]
-[gasps]
-Jehorsephat?
-[hopeful music plays]
You are my knight in shining armor.
[Shillingworth] Those are
merely melted spoons.
[grunts]
Rather painful, actually.
[laughs] Ooh. [snorts]
[Fischer chuckles]
Hmm! I hope you'll be happy with him.
I'm sure she will be.
I was talking to Jehorsephat.
-[whimsical music plays]
-[neighs]
[cries]
We failed.
-[sobs]
-But we tried, Gretel. We tried.
[man] You tried?
-[people murmuring angrily]
-Oh, marvelous.
Yeah. The children tried. Oh, how nice.
We gave the children's plan
a shot, didn't we?
We took a crack at it.
Ran it up the old flag pole.
Gave it the old chimmery chammery.
Oh, such a shame it didn't work, hm?
-Ugh!
-Oh, rotten luck.
Oh well, at least you tried.
I guess tonight I can snuggle up
with a big pile of "you tried!"
-[people shout agreement]
-[man] How many are dead?! How many?!
Children! We followed children
to battle a dragon!
-Were we insane?
-[woman] What were we thinking?
[villagers] Children are so short!
We followed children!
-We could've been chopped in two!
-Wait!
Look at her. What do you see?
A girl?
The princess!
Her battle gear is tacky!
Is that what you're gettin' at?
That! Tell them what that is!
It's dragon's blood.
[gasps]
[people gasping]
Dragon's blood.
No one has ever hurt the dragon,
but these children did.
-And if it can be hurt, it can be killed.
-[inspiring music playing]
[woman] Oh, he's right.
-It can be hurt.
-[people agreeing]
Well, yeah, that's something!
You did well here.
We'll tend to the wounded.
You should get some rest.
Thank you.
What do we do now?
-Where do we go?
-[man groaning]
Shouldn't we go home
and check on Mom and Dad?
They didn't think we could do this.
Why should we go back?
-[sighs] I need to know if they're okay.
-[man groaning]
And so, Hansel and Gretel have decided
to return home where they will…
-[exciting music playing]
-Uh…
What are they gonna do?
I don't know what they'll do!
Are you guys permanently ravens now?
'Cause if you're gonna turn
into something else, I vote for penguins.
They're hilarious.
[crickets chirping]
Uh, I don't know.
I just want Hansel and Gretel to be okay.
[gasps] The dragon's still out there!
We have to make sure they're safe!
Come on!
No, but guys, there's so much
good dead stuff back there.
-And, like, no one's eating it.
-[comedic sting]
Ugh! You guys are bad at being scavengers.
-[gloomy music plays]
-[wind whooshes]
[gasps]
My children!
[music intensifies]
[gasps]
You're safe!
You came back!
Oh… [hesitantly] …are you hurt?
[sighs]
I see.
Come on.
Let's get inside.
[wind gusts]
I had almost gotten
to the top of the tree,
but then the dragon attacked.
Oh dear, that must have been terrifying.
But we fought it!
Gretel tricked the moon
into chomping its face,
and I cut off one of its big nasty toes.
-Chop!
-[yelps]
-You have both made me so proud.
-[Gretel] But it didn't matter.
People trusted us and we failed them.
-Not at all. You wounded the dragon.
-[hopeful music plays]
No one has ever done that before.
Don't you see what you've done?
You've given the people hope,
and hope is a truly powerful gift.
-[sniffles]
-[tear drips]
[sobbing, shuddering]
[wails]
[inhales, wails]
This is so sweet!
I'm crying! I'm crying!
Ravens can't cry.
You're just screeching horribly.
-There are no tears.
-[gasps, wails]
What are tears?!
Uh, you know,
when water comes out of your eyes?
Eyeball juice?!
-[gasps] Tell me more, tell me everything!
-Whoa! [grunts]
-[gasps]
-Oops! [chuckles nervously]
-Ugh! Be gone! Ugh.
-[dramatic music plays]
Talking ravens are
a sign of the apocalypse!
-[music fades]
-Oh, come on.
[screams] A talking raven!
[groans]
Oh, uh, hello. [chuckles] Pardon us. Uh…
We've been watching you
and your family for a long time.
Shh! William, that sounds creepy!
Huh? Oh, no! No, it's not like that!
We've-- We've just been telling everyone
private details about your children.
[gasps]
Oh, you're just making it worse, buddy.
It's all right.
They're weird, but they saved my life.
[gentle music playing]
Well, then,
you have my eternal thanks.
Oh, you are most welcome, my Queen.
-Psst!
-Uh…
-Oh, right!
-[both] Ow!
Yeah, we almost got killed, but no biggie.
No need to thank us,
no need to give us, say,
a lifetime supply of worms and bugs!
It is a family moment.
Go on, move it. Let's go.
All right, no need to shove.
Hey, wait a second!
Wh-- What about the bugs?
-I beg your pardon, Your Majesty.
-[cawing]
I'm so glad you're home,
as is your father.
You know, when you first ran away,
he searched and searched for you.
He didn't sleep,
he wouldn't eat any chocolate cake.
Really?
Yes.
Every single day he was gone,
I knitted an inch of a scarf,
and now I have this.
It went on for months.
He was absolutely consumed with despair.
Your father is still in bed.
The poor dear.
He's worried sick.
I've never seen him in such a state.
[door opens]
-[both gasp]
-My children!
[tense note plays]
I was so worried.
The thought of losing you again
was more than I could bear.
-[gentle music playing]
-[sighs] Give them time.
-[foot thudding]
-Huh?
-What happened to your foot?
-[chuckles] You know, I, uh…
-[tense music playing]
-I'm not entirely certain.
And your face?
What?
I, uh… I must have
cut myself shaving. [chuckles]
It's funny. I can't quite recall.
So…
Who wants cake?
-[gasps]
-No thank you, Father.
[yawns]
We're very tired and I think
we'll just go right to bed. Bye!
[door slams]
[sighs]
I was really looking forward to cake.
-[both panting]
-[exciting music plays]
[both grunt, pant]
[both] Dad is the dragon!
Because the dragon's an evil spirit that
possesses someone consumed by despair,
and our dad was consumed by despair
when we ran away.
And also our dad loves chocolate cake…
[gasps] And the dragon
loves chocolate cake!
Uh…
I meant because Dad has wounds
on his face and his foot like the dragon,
but what you said makes sense too.
[sighs, sucks teeth]
-He doesn't know that we know…
-[thud]
-…so we could--
-[Hansel grunting]
[strains, grunts]
What are we…
Are we not running away again?
No!
And how do you make
those bed sheet ropes so fast?
I've had lots of practice.
We tried running away last time,
and it didn't work out.
So maybe this time we face the problem.
And do what has to be done
for the safety of the kingdom.
[loudly] Once upon a time,
Hansel and Gretel
set out to confront the dragon…
-who was their father!
-[epic music plays]
And bring him to justice!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Dial it back a notch, big guy! [chuckles]
For they were consumed
with the righteous fury of righteousness!
Oh yeah.
There's gonna be so much blood! Bring it!
[munching] Mmm!
Um, I don't know about blood.
I mean, he is our dad.
You want some?
-The live ones tickle going down.
-Blech.
What did I tell you guys?
You said people don't want strange birds
narrating their family tragedies.
You don't know what people want.
I bet they like it.
[comedic sting]
Okay, we have to find out for sure.
-And if he is the dragon… then…
-[gentle music plays]
…we…
uh…
What?
I don't know.
I was hoping you would know.
Usually you're the thing-knowing one.
[music fades]
[silverware clinking]
[munching] Mmm! Mmm.
[chomps]
[sighs] We're so close
to being a family again.
[munches]
Indeed.
[munching]
Then why do I feel so uneasy?
-[tense sting]
-Father!
-[screams]
-[spits]
What ever were you doing last night?
-[tense music playing]
-[coughs] Ahem. Mmm. I was, uh…
[clears throat]
…sleeping?
-Soundly?
-[screams]
Or did you have restless dreams
of blood and fire?
Blood and fire?
And did you fly around and kill everyone?
[hesitantly] I don't know.
I just, uh, fell asleep.
Some people might have trouble sleeping
if their only children
were out fighting a dragon.
Yes. I-- I thought I would, but I…
[sighs] I closed my eyes, and I--
I don't remember anything.
-You don't remember cutting your face?
-I cut myself shaving!
I mean… [hesitates]
I guess, I…
[breathes heavily] I must have.
You don't remember
what happened to your foot?
[stammers] I, uh… I…
This is ridiculous.
What are you suggesting?
The dragon's face was injured.
And his foot.
You think your father is the dragon?
-What? That's madness!
-[dramatic music rising]
How could you accuse me
of such a horrible thing? My own children!
-Stop it!
-[King] I've tried to understand you.
-To love you…
-[gasps]
-But you two are monsters. Monsters!
-[suspenseful music playing]
[grunts] You're the monster!
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
-And I'm sure that you do. [grunts]
-[crunches]
[screams, grunts]
[groans, snarls]
[all scream]
[snarls]
[gasping]
-[gasps]
-Father, fight it.
-[groans]
-Please!
-[roars]
-[yelps]
[gasps]
[gasping]
[grunting]
Come on, Father, you can do this!
-We don't wanna lose you again!
-[groaning]
[growls, snarls]
[roars]
My love! Where have you gone?!
[King roars]
[breathing raspily]
-[snarls]
-[both scream]
Let go!
[snarls]
[Hansel strains, grunts]
-[heroic music plays]
-[Hansel grunts]
[roars]
[panting]
[snarling]
[grunts, yells]
[gasps, snarls]
-[pops]
-[music stops]
[head thuds, rolls]
[thuds]
-[screams]
-[dramatic music plays]
[screams]
-[music becomes gentle]
-[clanging]
-[panting]
-[clinks]
-[crunching]
-[shrieks]
-[snarls]
-[dramatic music plays]
[chitters]
[snarls softly]
[chitters, shrieks]
[snarls]
[chitters]
-[screams, grunts]
-[chittering]
[shrieks]
[chittering]
-[snarls]
-[swishes]
[shrieks, chitters]
-[grunting]
-[shrieking]
[pants]
-[sniffs]
-[shrieks]
-[grunting]
-[magic jingling]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[pants]
-[music swells, fades]
-[panting]
-[grunts]
-[whooshing, shrieking]
-[mournful music plays]
-[clangs]
[crackling]
[gasps softly] Now what?
[gasps softly, sniffles]
[gasps] The twine!
I've got the warlock's magic twine!
Bring me his head!
-[gasps]
-What? Gross!
Just do it!
[hopeful music plays]
-[jingles]
-Got it!
[gasps]
[yelping]
Is it looking at me?
I think it's looking at me!
[yelps]
Please, please, please, work.
-[mournful music plays]
-[Hansel] Uh…
[whimpers, cries]
[Gretel] Come on! Come on!
-[jingles]
-There.
Will it work?
It has to.
Why isn't it working?!
The twine got its power
from those girls' souls.
Now that they're free,
the magic must be gone.
[sobbing] You-- You mean he's really gone?
[sobbing]
[sobbing]
[sobs, sniffles]
-I'm so sorry, Father.
-[tears dripping]
[mournful music continues]
-When the darkness opens wide ♪
-[magic jingling softly]
[all] Swallowing up the sun inside ♪
-Dappled stars, they prick the sky ♪
-[magic jingling louder]
-Blanket on which the moon will lie ♪
-[music fades]
-[both sob]
-Why must daylight always dim? ♪
-Creeping dusk, so cold and grim ♪
-[sniffles]
-[King] Who…
-[all gasp]
-[enchanting music plays]
-…wants cake?
-Dad!
-Father!
[both laugh in relief]
My family.
-Oh, my love!
-[gasps] My Queen!
But, how did--
The tears. The tears made it work.
-[gentle music plays]
-It is like Johannes said.
-"Tears hold a bit of the soul."
-[Johannes] Tears hold a bit of the soul.
-"And the soul has magic."
-And the soul has magic.
[King] My wonderful children,
can you… can you forgive me?
Forgive us?
-[joyful music rising]
-[chuckles]
[all laughing]
[music swells]
[slurping, sucks up tear]
[slurping, sucks up tear]
-Huh?
-[slurping]
This eyeball juice is amazing!
[music fades]
Is there anything eyeballs can't do?
-[music resumes]
-I'm sorry we ran away.
I'm sorry I cut off your heads.
No, I'm sorry
I cut off your head, and your toe.
I'm sorry I cut off my finger.
There will be no more cutting
off of anything in this family.
[Hansel] We're just happy to be home
and have most of our parts.
We're going to be okay.
Maybe, but even if we're not,
we'll be not okay as a family.
[laughs happily]
-[joyful music plays]
-[laughs]
[William] And so,
Hansel and Gretel realized that the family
they had searched so far and so long for…
-[laughing]
-…was in the place and with the people
they called home.
-The… end.
-[music swells]
-[music ends]
-Almost.
-What on Earth are you talking about?
-It's not quite over. Look.
-[gentle music plays]
-[magic jingling]
[flames whooshing]
[magic whooshing, jingling]
-Look! The dragon!
-[music intensifies]
-[whooshing]
-[people cheering]
[triumphant music plays]
The dragon is dead!
-How did you kill it?
-Were you there when it happened?
Did it turn out that
you were the dragon the whole time?
No further questions.
-[horse neighs]
-[gasps]
-[gentle music plays]
-[neighs loudly]
For you, Hansel!
[neighs]
[sniffles]
He's a good boy.
One day,
you'll officially rule the kingdom.
I think, officially,
we're good with being children for now.
There are times
when a kingdom needs its children.
-All the times, in fact.
-[squeaks]
But for now,
we will rule Grimm as a family.
[both laughing happily]
[wind whooshing]
[gentle music plays]
-[wind whistling]
-[slams open]
[woman] When the darkness opens wide ♪
Swallowing up the sun inside ♪
Dappled stars, they prick the sky ♪
Blanket on which the moon will lie ♪
-[music fades]
-[wind whistling]
[William] And so, they all lived happily,
and sadly, and lovingly,
and complicatedly ever after.
The end.
The King, the Queen,
Hansel, and Gretel value wisdom,
courage and heart,
but they also value the power of stories.
That's why they made us
the kingdom's royal storytellers.
Which is crazy.
I've never been a royal anything.
Except Jacob says
I'm a royal pain in the butt.
I didn't even know butts had royalty.
Who's the butt King and the butt Queen?
-[children laugh]
-[sighs]
And we're fine with the fact
that we'll never be human again.
[hesitantly] Wait.
You guys used to be human?
Dotty, we told you that
like a thousand times!
Mind blown, man!
Mind blown.
[child] Excuse me.
What happened
to the other people in the story?
We wanna know!
[children] What happened?
I loved Mother Tree.
The dove girls were awesome.
Who went to hell?
[chuckles] Uh, all right.
Well, children, I'm glad you asked.
-[whimsical music plays]
-[chuckling]
-Oh, we are so naughty!
-[clapping excitedly]
Don't tell your son,
but I am having the best time here.
-[farts]
-[both laugh]
-[laughing]
-[cackling]
-[chirping]
-[gentle music plays]
[birds continue chirping]
[inflating]
[blowing]
[Shillingworth] Ahem.
-[pops]
-[chimes]
-[gasping]
-[deflating]
-[Shillingworth] Oh… Oh!
-[thuds]
Oh! [laughs] Oh.
-Oh! [chuckles]
-[twangs]
-Oh! [gasps]
-[fish splats]
Oh… [chuckles excitedly]
-[gentle music continues]
-[squeaks]
-[Fischer] Oh! [chuckles, gasps]
-[chimes]
Oh!
I'm not a widow anymore.
[music fades]
For now.
-[dramatic sting]
-Oh!
-[solemn music plays]
-[dice rattle]
[dice rattle]
[music intensifies]
[groans]
[chuckles]
Could you take this for a second?
Ah-ah! A lord doesn't fall for a trick.
That's a rule!
[yells in frustration]
One day, someone will take this pole,
and I will be disreleased!
I assurify you!
You use words incorrectly.
But of course I do.
-Nothing could be more evil.
-[music stops]
But the King was possessed
by the mighty spirit of a dragon.
Until we chopped off your head!
-[shrieks]
-[gentle music playing]
And then a tiny dragon
climbed out of my neck?
Yup! It was so gross.
[stammers] But, where did it go?
We smashed it and burned it.
-It won't come back.
-Trust us.
[gentle music continues]
We do.
Should we go and see it again?
And then off to bed.
[music intensifies]
[music softens]
[Jacob] The End.
For real this time.
-[William] And yet--
-[Jacob] Oh, come on. Seriously?
One story's end is always
the beginning of another.
I knew it! I'm getting a spin-off!
Let's make it all about my adventures
in Cloudland and Lollipop Meadow.
-Oh, please, no!
-[music swells]
[music fades]
[exciting music plays]
[music fades]