And Just Like That... (2021) s01e10 Episode Script

1 Last year, a lady got COVID just to avoid breaking up with me in person.
That's why I win "worst breakup.
" No, no, no, no, no.
A woman broke up with me on FaceTime.
Yeah! And she was so sweet, I never saw it coming.
She should've broken up with me on Two-facedTime.
Okay? The victory is mine.
Okay, not so fast, you lightweights.
- Can she tell I've been dieting? - You know what? I can, - and I'm super psyched for you.
- Thank you.
My husband died.
Death: the ultimate breakup.
Oh shit.
Death is the ultimate breakup.
- Dude, that's a T-shirt, yeah.
- So, clearly, I win "worst breakup ever.
" - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you win.
- Yes, yes.
You win, you win, you win.
Yes, I'm a winner! Let's take a call.
Who wants to talk to a winner, Franklin? Uh, I don't have any calls now.
Yeah, because everyone just killed themselves.
Jackie! I'm goin' on a date.
You happy? We got all the way through dinner and no one suffered a concussion, or got hit by a bus.
The night is still young.
I have a confession to make.
You paid for that meal with a Groupon? I googled you.
And you still showed up for dinner.
- Well, what's a murder or two? - Hey, they had it comin'.
"New York Times" best-selling author.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's the, that's the other Carrie Bradshaw.
Happens all the time.
- No, I'm a legal secretary - Ahh.
Currently suing my employer for severance.
Is that weird that I, I admitted that? No, not at all.
Mm-mm.
New York State Teacher of the Year, 2018.
- Oh dear.
- This is me.
Ah.
We used to live in a brownstone on the Upper West Side when the kids were young.
I'd like to kiss you.
Would that be okay? Well, I think we did pretty okay for two heartbroken people.
Me too.
- Well.
- Yes.
- Good night.
- Good night.
How'd it go? Oh, that's way too simple a question for the experience I just had.
Details, please.
Charming, lovely - awful nervous.
- You or him? Both, and by the way, the awful nervous part surfaced around a good night kiss.
You hungry, boss? Oh sorry.
You're with someone? Zed.
We haven't left this hotel suite in three days.
I'm having so much fun.
We're on the smoking floor.
Oh okay, well.
Then I'll let you go.
No, you won't.
Was the kiss awful? No, no.
Not awful.
It was, um you know, it was just his lips on my lips.
Nothing else, you know? - No surprise.
- Caviar? But he asked permission for the kiss, which I understand, but you know, contract for a kiss.
It's just not how I remember it.
Mmm Yeah, that sounds a lot more like it.
Sorry.
Nothing to be sorry about.
- Good night.
- Night, babe.
I think Big's mad at me.
- What do you mean? - Well, Peter kissed me last night.
Peter kissed you.
How was that? Strange to be kissing someone other than Big.
But then, right after my reading lamp started blinking on and off.
- Okay.
- I mean, you know me.
You know I'm not, like, woo-woo about stuff like this, but I think it, it could be Big.
- In your lamp? - No, coming through my lamp.
Well, I am woo-woo about this stuff, and I do not believe that Big would send a message all the way from Heaven that you should never kiss anyone ever again.
Do you really think that's what he wants for you? Heaven? Seriously? What, are you saying there's no Heaven? Are you saying there is? You think Big is sitting up on a cloud right now puffin' away on a cigar? Well, yes, that's exactly what I'd like to think.
Since when do you believe in the afterlife? I thought we were on the same page about this.
Yes, we were, but in light of recent events, I've changed my vote to undecided.
If you can't disprove it, that means it's possible.
I can't disprove the existence of the Easter Bunny.
Wait, are we undecided about that now, too? Listen I can think that Big is sitting up there smokin' on a cloud, telling me he's mad at me through a lamp if it makes me feel better.
It's just guilt.
Get it fixed.
- The guilt or the lamp? - Both.
Oh, thank you! Thank you so much.
The yogurt's for me.
So, Che asked me out to dinner with their family this Friday.
Ooh, meeting the family.
That's a good sign.
Things are moving forward.
I love that you're still that girl.
Hallelujah! The Trans rabbi is in! Oh! For Rock's bat mitzvah? - Yes, it's a "they" mitzvah.
- Right.
I've been trying to spare you all the whole rabbi drama.
We've already had two different ones drop out because of - "family emergencies.
" - That seems very unkosher.
But it's all for the best.
Who better to lead a "they" mitzvah than a Trans rabbi? It's beshert.
Hi, I think this, this lamp needs repair.
It keeps going on and off all by itself, even if I'm not touching it and I changed the bulb.
Is that a common problem with older lamps, going on and off? - That's very strange.
- It is, isn't it? Behold, "Hot Fellas Challah.
" - Enjoy.
- Ooh! Mmm.
- It's good.
- Mm but different.
- What am I tasting? - It's sourdough.
I made the only sourdough challah in New York City.
Untapped market.
Foodie Jews are everywhere.
- Mm-hm.
- What? - What's the face? - It's hipster challah.
We're already pushin' the envelope with this "they" mitzvah.
Can we please give the old Jews somethin' they'll recognize? Fine Two loaves at every table: one for the Fiddlers on the Roof, - and one for the rest of us.
- Perfect.
Oh, Rabbi Jen! How was your first meeting with Rock? Okay, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this.
Great kid.
Totally unprepared.
Complete disaster.
- Excuse me? - What?! You heard me.
Doesn't know the Torah, Haftarah, or even the most basic prayers of the service.
Frankly, I don't know how Rock skated by till now.
Well, they are a good skater.
But moving forward with the current plan is not realistic.
They simply haven't mastered the material.
But it's next Saturday.
What do you suggest we do? My thought was to cut down their Torah portion to about two lines.
- That would be upsetting.
- We could also consider doing the entire service in English.
No.
I did not convert to Judaism to have my child be "they" mitzvahed in English.
Okay, the reviews are in.
Excuse me, Rabbi.
It all makes sense now.
There are no family emergencies.
Those rabbis fired us.
Oh my God.
This is delicious! Hey, Rockefeller.
The rabbi just gave us the skinny, and you're in deep doo-doo.
This is your big shot, and you're about to blow it.
Relax.
Everything's fine.
Everything is not fine.
You're the star of this thing.
There's no understudy waiting in the wings to save the day.
Like I did when I stepped in to play Sky Masterson in "Guys and Dolls.
" They should've given me that part in the first place.
- But "sissies can't be gangsters.
" - That's so wrong.
You never think a theater camp as a hotbed of homophobia.
- Learn your friggin' lines.
- Are you gonna No! Okay.
- Hey! - Oh.
Rambo, party of one.
It's about time.
Sorry, the traffic on the bridge was, well, I don't know what was going on there.
Like, I don't know what's going on here.
- I thought I was meeting your family.
- Oh, you are.
- You are.
Excuse us.
- Okay.
Yeah? Yeah, I'm sitting you next to my grandmas.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
Nana, Abuela - this is Miranda.
- Oh, hello.
Mucho gusto.
Oh, it's so nice to meet you.
- Okay, sit.
Sit, so we can start.
- Start what? Start what? Hello, friends and fam! Don't worry, I'm not gonna subject you to my stand-up.
It's much worse.
Hit it! And, bartender, hit me with your best shot, would you? - I got you, Che.
- Yes! - Here you go.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm gonna need another one Yeah.
Well, East coast girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear And the Southern girls with the way they talk They knock me out when I'm down there - I wish they all could be - What's happening? California - Girls - I wish they all could be California I wish they all could be Do you know what's happening? - Girls - Okay.
Oh yeah, I cut right to the chorus 'cause, I mean, who cares about the farmer's daughters and the, the Northern girls? You get the idea.
No, not really.
So, um, all of this is my humble way of sharing with you, my near and dear, that, uh yours truly is going to California.
Hollywood called, bitches! I'm makin' a pilot! - What's a pilot? - I'm, I'm not sure.
- I'm not really sure.
- I wish they all could be California - Girls - I wish they all could be California I wish they all could be California girls A-one more time.
I said It'll take about a month, and then, we see if it gets picked up or not.
The studio's really excited.
They think I'm the new Roseanne.
But, you know, the good one from the '80s.
I had no idea, no idea at all.
I didn't wanna say anything until it was real.
- Uh-huh.
- But then, shit got real real fast this week, or I would've told you privately.
And yet, you had time to put together a band, and a song, and practice.
Okay, I hear you.
What can I say? I'm a fuckin' narcissist.
Plus, I wanted the person I love to be in this room with all the other people I love.
So, so when is this all happening? - I fly Saturday.
- Oh.
Yeah, and I'm meeting with actors first thing Monday.
Yeah, oh, Tony Danza is coming in to read for my father.
Yeah, he's not Mexican or Irish, but he is Tony Danza.
- Cool.
- Oh, and one more thing.
There's more? I want you to come to L.
A.
I'm sorry, I didn't have time to do a whole song about it.
- You want me to come to L.
A.
? - Of course, I want you to come.
I had no idea no idea at all.
And it's not just because of L.
A.
I think that "X, Y, and Me" did what I wanted it to do.
And, uh, yeah, on to other things.
I love you all, and I am so fuckin' proud of what we did here.
So, anyone wanna say anything? Franklin? It's your show, man.
Your decision.
Love you back.
- And wish you well.
- Thank you.
- Jackie.
- Wait, this isn't a bit? No No, it's not.
Oh, dang.
I was just starting to get the hang of this.
- Ahh.
Mm.
- Mm.
Can I still come here for free Pringles? So, how you feelin' now? I feel like a person that survived a plane crash.
You know, you get off the tarmac okay, but you can never shake that feeling for the rest of your life.
Whoa, that's so specific.
Yeah, it's Rosie Perez in "Fearless.
" Trust me, my feelings don't go that deep.
Oh, Jackie.
We cannot be site-specific friends.
- I really like you.
- Yeah, man, we are becoming close.
And plus, you're comin' to my party Friday night.
- That's gonna be cool.
- What party? Oh shit.
Do not tell Smoke I did not invite you to the party.
Listen, she really wants to meet you.
You're one of our top invited guests.
It's just my executive functioning shit.
Send the information.
I'm there.
Oh, cool.
I love having a Carrie Bradshaw in my life.
- A smoke? - Oh, no, I quit again.
Well, then fuck ya.
Come in.
Oh, so relieved it's not another student comin' to cry that I wrecked their GPA by giving them an A-minus.
Miranda Hobbes doesn't get A-minuses.
You know that.
You're feelin' extra today.
I am.
You're right.
I think it's because I just made a big life decision, and I'm still catching my breath.
- Okay, well, you got my attention.
- Okay, so, um I've decided to finish up this semester's coursework remotely, because I'm goin' to L.
A.
for a few months.
Oh, wow.
That's exciting.
What's in L.
A.
? Che got a big TV thing, and they asked me to go with them, and, I mean, I couldn't pass it up.
I'm, I'm excited.
What about that internship at Human Rights Watch? I, I, I guess I'm gonna have to pull out, you know for now.
Are you sure about that? It's a really competitive internship.
I wrote you a glowing recommendation.
I know, and I'm so grateful, and it is taking every ounce of strength to not change my mind, but I'm following my heart here, and trying not to second-guess myself the way I usually would.
- I got it.
Go for it.
- Okay.
Well, selfishly, I'm disappointed.
Andre Rashad took the tour, so I'm flyin' solo for the next bunch of months, and I penciled you and me in for a lot of those nights.
Oh.
So, is it just a tour, or You know, I'm not sure yet.
We're just not in the same place emotionally right now.
So, we decided to see how not being in the same place, physically, we feel.
- Hm.
- It's a good thing.
I think we need to feel what we might be throwing away for some baby we never even met.
You really are something.
Well, remember that when you see the A-minus on your midterm.
So, you finally came up for air? - I did.
Wanna grab lunch? - Oh, I can't.
I'm just about to walk in and meet John's brother, so quick, quick.
Tell me.
I think I like him, Carrie.
And not just because he's great in bed and we both smoke Dunhills.
Oh, you know what? He's here.
I gotta go.
Don't forget about me.
- Never.
- Okay, bye.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
Thank you.
So how've you been? Um I've been good, good.
Ups and downs.
Yeah, I'm sure.
I, uh, wanted to meet for lunch to ask you, um, where John is.
What? Where's John? He died.
Yes, I know John died.
Uh, where are his remains? Oh, oh! What, did you think I had early-onset? Well, not so early, I guess.
Well, no.
I, I don't know.
All I knew is that I, I did not wanna break that news to you again.
Hm.
I ask because I never received word, uh, of his final resting place.
Right, well, I, I haven't decided where that is yet.
I see.
Where is he now? Oh, he's on a shelf in my closet next to my very best shoes.
That would say a lot if, if you knew me better.
Hm.
Well, um there is a space for John in our family crypt in Connecticut.
Oh, geez.
Gosh, I don't know.
Maybe this will give you an idea.
Um - Mother and Father are here.
- Mm-hm.
William and his wife here.
I'm here Uh, John would be here.
And actually since Cassandra and I are splitting Really? Are you, you getting divorced? Hm, nice of you to pretend to be surprised.
I think we could squeeze you in here if you're interested.
- Mm.
- And the two of you could, um be together forever.
Oh gosh.
Thank you, Richard.
That's, that's a lovely offer.
But I I need to think more about where John might wanna be, you know, before I decide.
We are coming up on a year, Carrie.
I know Oh, I know.
Hello.
Hi, I think my lamp is ready.
Ah, yes.
It was a bad wire, and, um I fixed it.
- Oh, it was a wire? - Mm-hm.
And you fixed it? I passed him on the street, and he was wearing - green Shrek Crocs - Yeah.
Tweed pants, and this gold-plated necklace that said, "Drippin'.
" I was like, "Who is this fashion god?" - What about his Wonder Woman tank? - So dope! Hey, excuse me, dude, we gotta go do a thing.
Sure, go.
Go, go, go.
- So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
Hi, hi, um, can everyone hear me? Excuse me! Can everyone see my blowout?! Excuse me, everyone! Hi, hi, everyone.
Uh, before we get to the food, we just have this thing we wanna do.
We're getting married! We're getting married! Boom! It's a surprise wedding, so You can now kiss each other or do whatever will get the most likes on Instagram.
Now, that was a kiss.
- Hey, I didn't know you were coming.
- Neither did I.
I got a panicked call, not a text, - from Jackie an hour ago.
- Oh.
"Shit, dude.
I forgot.
Please come.
" Is Che here? Eh, I think Jackie's feeling a little of the - bad break-up energy.
- Oh.
I should talk to him.
You should.
You're so good when people call in about that relationship stuff.
- I think you're a podcast.
- How dare you? I'm serious.
I've been watching you since you got there.
Seeing you open up, come into your own.
Plus you have that voice.
I'd like to produce you, alone, talking to callers.
- How much champagne have you had? - None.
Come on.
Gimme a shot.
If you're trying to reach me, blink.
That is so you.
That you know you are free.
Let's say, "they mitzvah.
" Super foamy cappuccino.
Love! I think Coffee Hour's going well.
- Yes! - Yeah.
So, um, Big came to me in a dream last night.
- Meaning you had a dream about Big? - Please, Miranda.
Go ahead, Carrie.
I know where he wants to be.
Paris our bridge.
Oh, I love that.
It's so romantic.
It's really perfect.
Okay, great.
So, I really wanna be there for the one-year anniversary, so I already have airline tickets and rooms at Le Meurice on hold.
It would be three days, in and out.
I mean, we could stay longer.
You know, if you can.
And my treat.
I can definitely swing three days.
Oh, sure.
Let me check my schedule.
Sure! Okay.
Why is Anthony just now putting those out? - Excuse me.
- Charlotte! Henry, Gabby, no sweets until after the service.
- Charlotte, mazel tov! - Thank you.
But a candy bar with kids at 10:30 in the morning? - Are you insane? - I passed insane, like, three months ago.
- Excuse me.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You all look so gorgeous.
Anthony, you're just putting those out now? Heads up about the challah: two different types take twice the time.
And I don't wanna hear a word about the hot fellas bein' here.
I needed the help.
I don't know if they're Jewish, but they're all cut, so close enough.
- My darling - Yes We have a situation.
I, I don't understand.
What do you mean you don't want to go out there? I just don't, Mom.
I can't.
Yes, you can.
You've been practicing and studying for months.
No, I haven't.
You have.
I'm not doing it.
I don't believe in it.
- Don't believe in what? - Any of this.
- This what?! What this?! - What do you mean? - Hey.
- Hey.
Swedish Fish before noon, dare I? Definitely.
So, just tryin' to work out my schedule.
I'm gonna have to fly to Paris from L.
A.
, so Wait, what? Why are you in L.
A.
? Well, Che invited me to come for all the pilot stuff.
I decided to go.
What the heck, right? Right So, for how long? I don't know exactly, but it's perfect timing because Brady and Luisa are backpacking through Europe all summer.
- I, I told you that.
- Yeah, you did.
Sure.
Miranda, you can't fly to Paris from L.
A.
It's, like, a 14-hour flight.
I would never have said anything if I knew.
I, I just didn't know.
Excuse me, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to the ladies' room.
I don't, I don't care about the 14 hours.
I'm, I'm just tryin' to get the dates.
Miranda, forget I said anything about Paris.
It was, it was presumptuous of me.
Hey, I just checked.
I'm leaving for L.
A.
on the fourth, and the taping is either on the ninth or the tenth.
I know the ninth is the anniversary, so, hopefully, it'll be the tenth, and I can get to Paris and back in time.
Thank you, but you you would be so jet-lagged.
You, you, you'd be sleeping through the whole TV thing.
You're not hearing me.
I can do both.
It's important for me to be there when you scatter the ashes, but so is being there with Che for their taping.
I, I, I passed up my internship to be there.
The one you said was impossible to get? - That feels like judgment.
- No, no, no, no.
I'm just trying to catch up here, you know? You're throwing a lot of new information at me.
Why can't I choose love over an internship? Well, you can.
Of course, you can.
But what are you gonna do in L.
A.
all day? - Sit in an audience and laugh? - Maybe.
Okay, that was a, a bit of judgment.
Miranda, I have known you for a hundred years And? Am I not allowed to change a little bit? Or a lot? Or change back again if I feel like it? Do I have to follow my own rigid rules until the day that I die? I never said that.
Then why do I feel like I can't go to L.
A.
without letting you down? If you want to go to L.
A.
, go to L.
A.
Why do you care what anyone thinks? Because you're not anyone You're you.
Hi, ladies.
Rabbi Jen.
I couldn't help but overhear.
Okay, so I'm putting the dots together, and, um, I'm very sorry for your loss, and I'm happy you found love.
Did I put the voice to the right face? Great, so those relationships are clear, but what's really important that I'm hearing is the relationship between you two.
And believe me, I see this a lot as a rabbi, as a woman, as a friend.
It gets to Okay, what's happening? Is this thing not working? Oh, you 'Cause you have to up.
Thank you.
Anyway, I'm rooting for you two because I could hear, in the time I was peeing, how strong your bond is, and that closeness? Yeah, it presents challenges from time to time, but this right here, it-it's precious and worth protecting, yeah? Now, what do we have to do to get this service started? I have a wedding at three in Bushwick.
That means a hard out at two.
Let's go.
What do you want, Rock? Hm? You want an Oculus? An Apple Watch? What's it gonna take? That's not the point.
I don't wanna be labeled as anything.
Not as a girl, or boy, nonbinary, a Jew, Christian, Muslim or even a New Yorker.
What? But, so What? You're just nothing now? You-you're nothing? I'm only 13.
Can't I just be me? - Lisa.
- Charlotte, what's wrong? Rock is refusing to do it.
And Harry says it's over.
Oh, God.
I've failed as a mom and I've failed as a Jew.
Listen to me.
Every mother in this room feels like a failure at least once a day, but no one tries harder than you.
I have watched you take care of every single person in your world every single day.
So, let's forget about everyone else for a change okay? What do you want? This is not over! There are 300 people, 130 challahs, a rainbow chai, and a Trans rabbi.
I did not come all this way, and do all this work to have it end like this.
Someone is going out there, and getting "they" mitzvahed today! Amen.
Our little girl is a woman now.
Mazel tov, Charlotte.
Harry, now that Charlotte has become a bat mitzvah, please come and join us on the bimah, and if anyone else from the family would like to join us for this next blessing, they are more than welcome.
- Thank you for coming.
- I thought it was great.
Oh, mazel tov.
- Oh, you were amazing.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
And, Charlotte, Miranda and I spoke, and she's not coming to Paris.
I'm gonna be in L.
A.
with Che.
Wait, how have I not heard about this? See? I'm not the only one.
I'm in love.
I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you.
- So, I guess it's just us two girls, or ladies, as I am all grown up now.
Well, thanks, but you two got me this far.
I think I can do the rest on my own.
- You owe me a trip to Paris.
- Mm! The car'll be here in one minute.
- I hope there's no traffic.
- Mom, my flight is at two.
Yours is at seven.
We have plenty of time.
- Well, I like to get there - Five hours early.
I know.
So, are you ever gonna say anything about my hair? Yes.
It's cool.
What happened to all the gray pride? It's still there.
I just felt like changing it up again.
Oh, I thought you were just copying my look.
Hey I had it first.
- Oh, here he is.
- I'll get the bags.
There was just no explanation.
We'd been planning our future.
I'm gutted.
I mean, what do you think happened? Oh, I'm so sorry, Allie.
- I have no idea.
- You don't? No, no.
I wish I did.
But the more I live, the more I find myself mystified.
So much of life just, just doesn't seem to make sense.
But if there is anything I've learned from my recent loss, it's that you will laugh again, especially, especially, if you have one or two good friends in your corner.
And, as for love well, anything's possible.
The future's unwritten.
Thank you.
That really helps.
Oh, good.
Good, I'm glad.
Well that's it for my very first podcast.
I'll get better.
So, till next time, I'm Carrie Bradshaw, and this is "Sex and the City.
" I feel like it couldn't have gone any better.
How do you feel? Oh, like it could have gone better.
Well, sure, and it will.
But wait a minute, what happened to, "It couldn't have gone any better"? You were great.
Just great.
- Oh, thanks.
- Really.
You, you made it so easy.
You know, every time I felt lost, I, I looked up, and there you were, lookin' back at me.
And just like that