Andromeda s01e10 Episode Script

Democracy may be only a few steps removed from anarchy, but at least it's not as loud.
Crowned in Starlight, Than Hegemon [CY 9843.]
I'll say this for the old Commonwealth.
When it comes to formal dinnerware, you guys rule.
I do what I can.
It's all a little bit much to me.
I mean, placecards? Come on.
Protocol is vital to the Castalians.
President Lee and his people forged a republic from a dozen habitats and cultures: water-breathers, air-breathers, beings that have lived their entire lives in space.
Which explains why the two fish-necks get to hang out with the hot chick with the lungs.
In fact, I think *I* will sit next to the lung lady.
And create a major diplomatic incident? I don't think so.
Your ship is a marvel, Captain Hunt.
I must say, you have exceeded our expectations.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
That means a lot coming from you.
Please.
If you keep that up, you'll swell my head.
And then this technological miracle won't fit anymore and I'll be forced to spend our entire negotiation in a bathtub.
Mr.
President, before we proceed, I'd like to address some of my security concerns.
Oh, of course.
And here's the information you requested.
I'm very impressed.
And a little intimidated.
Don't worry.
We're on the same side.
Or, we will be, once the charter has been signed.
Then by all means, let's get to it.
I'd hate to stand between the colonel and her new toys.
Certainly.
Alright then, how about this one.
It's pink.
Beka, it's a state dinner.
That means formal.
Pick something.
What if they start shooting? How am I supposed to run in a dress? Good heavens, what kind of dinner parties have you been to? You know? Up until now, life on the Andromeda's been like living in a first-class hotel with thrill rides! You're supposed to tie that.
I'm telling you, if Dylan really gets 50 worlds to sign his charter, you know what it's gonna be like.
Goodbye room service, hello foreign service.
She'll have us dressing like mannequins every other Thursday.
Stop fidgeting! Let's hear the ceremonial music.
THAT'S their "Hail to the Chief"? It's sounds more like a tuna with a toothache! It works better underwater.
Protocol.
Remember, the Castalian dignitaries have musical cues for everything.
Music for entering a room, for leaving a room, for proposing a toast.
And while they're on this ship, we have to respect their traditions.
The Castalian Republic is progressive, peaceful, and stable.
If they sign the Commonwealth Charter, they provide us with instant credibility.
And we provide them with the services of the toughest warship in the known universe.
Flatter me all you want.
You still have to wear the dress.
I said tell them no! Tell them no as often as it takes, and then just tell them no again.
You'll have to forgive Chancellor Chandos.
He never bothered to study decorum while he was a partisan.
I understand completely.
If all goes well this evening, and the Parliament approves, then I see no obstacle to Castalia signing your charter.
I'll make the announcement tomorrow in a live broadcast to the entire Republic.
President Lee, that'sthat's wonderful news.
For both of us.
There's been too much darkness since the Fall on Castalia, and everywhere else, for that matter.
It's time we turned the lights back on.
On behalf of the Republic of Castalia, I would like to thank the Andromeda Ascendant for her gracious hospitality.
And may this be the start of a fruitful alliance.
Cheer! cheer! I offer a toast to President Lee, who united his people by appealling to their highest ideals.
May he inspire a host of imitators.
Thank you, Reverend Bem.
I salute you for your wisdom, your wit, and your excellent judge of character.
Oh, somebody shoot me.
You think you've got problems.
I'm never gonna score with Captain Terrific moving in on my turf.
- President Lee is quite the politician.
- I'm lucky to work for him.
He's a great man.
He didn't have to include the air-breathers in his republic, you know.
- We're a minority, and it wasn't a popular move.
- Well, I hope I can live up to his example.
I should also like to salute President Lee.
A man possessed of determination and vision.
A vision to see that Volsung Pride could never be a part of his republic.
And the determination to see every Nietzschean on Castalia slaughtered: man, woman, and child.
The long night has come The system Commonwealth, the greatest civilisation was fall and now one ship, one crew are about drive back the night, they'll gush up the light of civilisation on the starship Andromeda hope lives again .
Tyr! - What the hell was that supposed to be? - I was complimenting our guest.
- Don't insult my intelligence! - I'm not the one playing you for a fool.
Sebastian Lee built his republic on the bones of my people.
The Volsung were a direct offshoot of Kodiak Pride.
Their orbital habitat was blown to pieces during Lee's War of Unification.
- 75,000 Nietzscheans! My blood! - Like you said, it was a war.
A war the Volsung had already lost.
They were attempting to surrender! And Lee decided to solve his Nietzschean problem once and for all.
So, be just a bit more careful who you're shaking hands with, Captain Hunt.
Your fingers might come away bloody.
Captain, if you're curious, then why not check our public records.
But to confront the President in this fashion well, it's insulting.
And I won't stand for it.
No, it's all right.
We want Captain Hunt to be our partner.
He deserves an explanation if he wants one.
Captain, please understand that the Volsung were invaders in our system.
They looted.
They captured slaves.
They owned the sky.
We were helpless against them.
Still, my people, the water-breathers, went relatively unscathed.
We had nothing they really wanted.
We built our strength, waiting.
Eventually they grew complacent.
We managed to destroy their fleet, but before we could move on to their habitat, they blew it up themselves, killing everyone aboard including 10,000 Castalian slaves.
They're the murderers.
Not us.
That's impossible.
Nietzscheans don't commit suicide.
It may not have been deliberate.
Their munitions may have detonated accidentally.
We'll never know for certain.
Then you'll make your records available to my ship's database? Of course, Captain.
Our database is at your disposal.
Those deaths were a tragedy, Captain Hunt.
Exactly the kind of loss your Commonwealth hopes to prevent.
Please, review the material.
If it meets with your approval, I still want to sign the Charter live, on camera in front of my people, just as we planned.
- If that's acceptable to you.
- Yes, that's quite acceptable, thank you.
Fine, then we can broadcast as soon as you have checked our records and the apology is made.
Apology? I need a formal apology from Tyr Anasazi.
Protocol, you know.
So tiresome.
I want you to apologize to President Lee.
- The man committed genocide.
- Not according to Castalian public records, or the official investigation into the explosion.
They both say the Volsung habitat was taken out by friendly fire.
And you believe them? Right now, you have one story, the Castalians have another.
One that is perfectly plausible.
Think more than a few moves ahead, Tyr, and remember the long game.
Reestablish the Commonwealth, and we reestablish open inquiry, accountability, and justice.
- Justice.
For Nietzscheans? - For everyone.
Or there's no point.
And a Big Hello to all my friends at the Calhoun's Corner Saloon, where I can't wait to enjoy my two-for-one beers every evening at sunset.
If I ever get off this ship.
Ka-Ching! Interplanentary pitchman, Seamus Harper.
Sorry, was that Seamus, or Shame-less, Harper? Very well, that's a little more convincing.
Tell himtell him maybe.
Captain, the President's address is in ten minutes.
Are you sure your super-man is going to show up? Pay up.
I'm told I owe you an apology.
Captain, could we have a moment alone, please.
- Andromeda, engage privacy mode.
- Yes, sir.
Mr.
President, the parliament is convened, and your speech begins in 8min.
and 32sec.
Thank you.
This won't take long.
I apologize for my tardiness.
I hope I'm not too late.
You missed Tyr's act of contrition.
Did I? I know, I know.
Pay up.
Strictly for charity, of course.
- The Presidential March - That can't be right.
What are you doing?!? He's been shot.
The Nietzschean has shot President Lee.
He's dead.
- I've got him.
I've got the killer.
- You put that away.
Eternal life He's having convulsions.
We've gotta get Tyr to medical.
Rommie! Get security in here, now.
Would you close that stupid camera! I loved him, you know.
He was like a father to me.
- And I failed to protect him.
- We all failed to protect him.
It was my job! When my parents died, it was Sebastian Lee who gave me a home.
It was Sebastian Lee who made me believe that I was worth something, even though I'm a breather.
Rev Bem would say that only the smallest part of him is gone.
His spirit lives.
His accomplishments survive him.
Now it's your job to carry on his work.
You're right.
Thank you.
I'll have a forensics team here by noon and a security team to take the assassin into custody.
I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
This is my ship.
I have jurisdiction here, and I won't have a horde of outsiders trampling on a crime scene.
So what do you propose to do? Incarcerate the killer in your private prison? When we identify the killer, I'll turn him over to Castalia for trial.
When we identify the killer? We saw it! We were there! We saw the aftermath, not the crime.
I promise you, you'll be involved in every step of the investigation.
But this will *be* an investigation, not a witch hunt.
You should patch into our live feed on the Obs Deck.
You'll probably want to see this.
Reverently do I don this armor, in the knowledge that it represents my duties as Shield of the Republic.
Citizens of Castalia, I swear by the blood of President Lee, that his murderer will suffer the ultimate justice for his crime.
Ultimate justice? Castalia has the death penalty for murder.
When all is know, our action will be swift, certain, and final.
Well, that wasinflammatory.
There are 20 billion very angry people in the Castalian Republic.
If Chandos hadn't assured them of his firm intentions, they'd come up here and tear your ship apart with their bare hands.
Good.
Something else to look forward to.
Tyr.
Tyr, it's Dylan.
So it is.
- Do you know where you are? - I'm in medical.
And I'm under guard.
What's the last thing you remember? We were in hydroponics.
You were talking about games.
So you don't remember being on Obs Deck with the president? No.
But I'm going to assume our meeting didn't go well.
While you were alone with President Lee, he was killed with two shots from your force lance.
Have you worked out who did it? Captain, passive sensors are detecting movement on the Castalian moon.
I'm registering a massive launch from the surface.
On my way.
How many? Over 300 ships, and they're heading straight towards us.
Great.
Chancellor, what'sMr.
President, what's going on.
Andromeda says you've launched an armada.
Not me, Captain.
My people.
Billions of Castalians are howling for blood.
Our military high command has decided that I am a hostage on your ship, and we never bargain with hostage takers.
So, tell them you're safe that you can leave any time you'd like.
I've tried that.
They believe that I am under duress.
There must be someone willing to listen.
You can't let things escalate like this.
I did not create this situation, Captain.
Your crewman did.
If you would like it to end, I would suggest that you deliver the killer to our custody.
And soon.
Otherwise, I cannot be responsible for the actions of my people.
So if you turn Tyr over to the Castalians, what will they do with him? Put him on trial, probably a big showy one.
A fair trial? Chandos's personality is abrasive, but his reputation is spotless.
And Lee waswell, he was Sebastian Lee.
Which is your long-winded way of saying you hope so.
If you're asking me, would I betray an innocent man just to get my Commonwealth, the answer is no.
But there is one question none of us wants to ask.
Which is? What if Tyr isn't an innocent man? - That's your reconstruction of the crime? - As of now.
I think that's the most pathetic and ill-planned excuse for an assassination I've ever seen.
And I speak as one who has had some slight experience in these matters.
So you would have done things differently.
Method 1: Slow acting poison in his food.
A bit obvious, but no sure way to connect it to me.
Method 2: Nanobots in his shuttle, timed for reentry.
The shuttle burns up and leaves no evidence.
Method 3: A dart tipped with stonefish toxin.
Primitive, but undetectablemimics heart failure.
Or I could have arranged for his breathing apparatus to fail, or perhaps I might have replaced his I get the picture, I get the picture.
Good.
Then there can only be one conclusion.
I'm innocent.
Because you never would have gotten caught.
Precisely.
Well then, now that that's out of the way, would you like to suggest that the greater good requires my surrender? Your surrender? For a man determined to cook history's greatest omelette, you're awfully squeamish about cracking your eggs.
It's not like he doesn't kill people.
I mean, hell, it used to be his day job.
Yeah, but nobody hired Tyr to kill Lee.
Did they? All I'm saying is and it may sound a little selfish sometimes you gotta throw a wolf to the wolves to keep the rest of us from getting eaten.
Please.
I could swat that fishing fleet of theirs in the Maru.
Yeah, and you'd eat them for lunch.
Now there's a thought.
Do fish people eat fish? Or is it like humans eating monkeys or apes? The Castalians are humans.
Genetically engineered to breathe water, but still human.
Besides, humans do eat monkeys.
Humans eat other humans.
As a species, we are really quite unpleasant.
So, Mr.
Harper, you care to update us on the investigation? Gladly.
I'm completely at the colonel's disposal.
And I mean *completely*.
I'm sure you do.
OK.
Weaponry 101.
The force lance is the High Guard's favorite toy.
Retracted, it can be used as a light source or a scanner or whatever else comes to mind, and deployed, it makes a nifty quarterstaff or, uh, limbo bar.
Now, in either configuration, it can fire tiny attack drones effectors basically smart bullets from a smart gun.
This force lance has recently fired two such effectors.
Timestamp matches President Lee's death.
However, according to the internal sensors, the effectors were fired at a low velocity straight down toward the deck.
As they slowed to zero, they each acquired the target and then attacked on their own power, like a couple of bats out of H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
Kind of an indirect way to shoot someone.
You're telling me.
And that's not the weird part.
There was a full capacitor discharge that matches Tyr's electric shock.
Force lances are keyed to the owner's DNA.
If it shocked him, it wasn't his force lance.
Oh, it definitely was his.
These are the weapon id's that Andromeda downloaded.
The serial numbers match.
The murder was committed with the Nietzschean's force lance.
The murder was committed by the Nietzschean.
Why would he shock himself? Maybe he wanted it to look like he'd been attacked.
Nietzscheans don't deliberately injure themselves.
It's anti-survival.
You know, none of this makes any sense.
Assassinating Sebastian Lee doesn't make sense.
So what if the Nietzschean chose an eccentric way to shoot the president.
Assassins have been known to be eccentric.
Not Tyr.
Uhoverbearing, self-righteous, vain, vicious, brutal, way too serious, and a little big, yeah.
But eccentric? No.
Are you sure this isn't less about justice than it is about pinning the murder on Tyr? Pinning? Pinning? Your crewman was alone in a room with someone that he had every reason in three galaxies to want dead.
That person is now dead.
And with all your hemming and hawing, all you've succeeded in doing is to prove that he was shot with your man's gun.
Thank you for the information.
I'll make sure it's conveyed to the proper authorities.
Well, score another point for informed cooperation.
Beka, in the old days, did you ever do any background checks on the people who were hiring you? Yeah, all the time.
Better safe than sorry.
Exactly what I was thinking.
OK, here's what we've got on Colonel Ironpants.
It was her job to protect the president.
Well done.
She also had the specs on Tyr's weapon by her own request, and she's awfully eager to hang Tyr.
So we've got method and opportunity, but not motive.
She adored Lee.
He freed her people.
Not in time to save her family.
They were Nietzschean slaves.
The laborers who died on the habitat.
You don't brand your employees.
You brand your slaves.
If Tyr's right about the Volsung Pride if Lee deliberately ordered its destruction, then he also ordered the deaths of the forced laborers and Yao's family.
Revenge.
Always a popular dish.
Add another name to the list.
Which makes three.
Tyr, Yao, and who else? Revenge is always a solid motive for murder, but there's another old standard we've been overlooking.
Power.
Impossible.
You're grasping at straws.
Am I? Yesterday Chandos was chancellor.
Today he is president.
That's quite a promotion.
One which he would have gotten even if Lee were still alive.
Maybe he got impatient.
How long would he have had to wait? Ten years? Twenty? Three days, Captain.
Sebastian Lee was planning to resign as soon as the charter was ratified.
It was to be his last great act as president.
Chandos would've been president by the end of the week, and he knew it.
Now, if you're through insulting our elected officials, I have a report to make.
Captain, a Castalian ship is attempting forced entry into Hangar 3.
Given the circumstances, I'm going to have to ask you to wait here.
They're trying to override the door controls.
Should I just let them in? Let them feel like they're accomplishing something.
Welcome aboard.
Now! Colonel.
The Castalian government would like to make it clear that this attack was an unauthorized action by civilian militia.
I'm sure they would.
Thank you for avoiding any bloodshed.
I'm not sure we would have done the same in your place.
I want you to look at something.
- More schematics.
- Bear with me.
Each force lance is keyed to its owner.
Andromeda, what happens if someone tries to use a force lance that doesn't belong to them? The capacitor is discharged, and the unauthorized user is shocked unconscious.
But this *is* Tyr's force lance.
The serial numbers confirm it.
It wouldn't have shocked him.
Normally, you'd be right.
Normally.
But today I took out your concerned citizens - with a force lance operating by remote control.
- Remote control? Someone with the right codes can control a force lance, either by voice, pulsed laser, or microwave transmission.
So, what I'm suggesting is this.
Tyr was in the room with President Lee, making his apologies.
Suddenly, his force lance discharged two effectors.
Now, Lee saw the effectors leave Tyr's sidearm, and he shouted.
But he was too late.
Lee was killed.
Tyr grabbed his weapon and tried to control it, but it shocked him.
Why? Because Tyr's command of his sidearm had been taken from him.
Control was somehow assigned to someone else.
Andromeda, do you have any record of intercepted transmissions at the time of President Lee's death? There was a low-frequency microwave transmission detectable outside Obs Deck.
Origination? The transmission originated from a communications port in the observation deck itself.
I control that port.
Captain, the evidence is clear.
I killed President Lee.
My records clearly indicate that I gave the order to kill President Lee.
But do you remember doing it? Memory is just a function of information retrieval.
The information is there.
I did it.
But you don't remember intending to do it, or planning to do it.
No.
No, I don't.
OK, here's my plan.
We download your personality into my neural net until we get this sorted out.
- We what? - Have you read the Castalian legal code? Do you know what they do to an AI who commits murder? They disassemble it! In the Commonwealth, we did the same thing.
Complete personality reinitialization.
Yeah, but they can't erase you if they can't find you.
Come on, Rommie, interface with me.
It's the closest I'm ever gonna get.
I'll just store your data in my cranium until we can solve this stupid mystery.
Harper, that would work for about a millisecond.
Then your brain would fry like an egg on a plasma relay.
You saying you're too smart for me? I'm saying it's very sweet of you to offer, but I'm not going to hide from the Castalians.
- What are you doing loose.
- General consensus is that I am innocent.
You're many things, but innocent is not one of them.
- I imagine that makes two of us.
- What's that supposed to mean? It means congratulations on committing the perfect crime.
I won't even dignify that with a reply.
You killed Lee, and then you arranged for me to take the blame, knowing full well that no Castalian would ever believe an innocent Nietzschean.
That's insane.
Why would I do that? Because Lee ordered the death of your family.
Sebastian Lee never made that order.
And if I believed for one minute that he did, I would have killed him.
May we have that in writing? Pesky little critters.
What's up, Harper? Dylan, I have a confession to make.
It was me.
Lee, the murder I did it.
I programmed Rommie to kill Lee.
Not now, Harper.
I don't have the time for this.
Well, fine.
I'll confess to the Castalians.
They'll believe me.
OK, why did you do it? Why? Why? Because.
BecauseI didn't like their stupid fish music.
That's why.
Harper, I appreciate your loyalty.
But what I really need you to do is solve this crime.
Andromeda's checked every program in her inventory and she can't find a trace of the hacker.
So, if you could just move the confessional back to the machine shop, that would be great.
Fine.
But I reserve the right to confess later.
Hey! Harper confessed to the murder, huh? He tried.
Yeah, well, his heart's in the right place.
Dylan, maybe we should cut our losses.
There are a million other worlds out there.
Plenty of fish in the sea? You said it, not me.
My problem isn't leaving.
My problem is the statement we'd be making that this ship and her crew are somehow above the law, that we're better than the people we're trying to help.
Aren't we? Hey! I read the first officer's job description.
Play devil's advocate's on page three.
Get thee behind me, Satan.
- Andromeda, I was just - Looking for me.
I know.
Captain, I'm ready to surrender myself to the Castalian authorities.
- I won't let you sacrifice yourself.
- Dylan, I'm a warship.
I was created with the knowledge that I might be sacrificed for the good of the Commonwealth.
I've always been prepared for that.
- Haven't you? - It was always a possibility.
But in battle, going down fighting together.
Not like this.
What is it Rev Bem always says? The universe doesn't always give you what you want.
It gives you what you need.
Dylan, you're not gonna believe this.
Oh, no.
You're not gonna confess again, are you? I'll resent that tomorrow, but for now excuse me check this out.
This is President Lee when he first entered command.
Now, here's Chandos taking the oath.
Now, Lee at the supper party.
Now, observe.
Captain, you wanted to speak to me? You see? Not exactly see, but my hearing is just fine.
This is Captain Dylan Hunt of the High Guard.
Investigation has shown that an Artificial Intelligence was involved in the tragic death of your president.
In such a case, Commonwealth law demands that the AI's personality be completely erased.
I invite you, the people of the Castalian Republic, to observe the law in action.
Bring in the prisoner.
President Chandos will bear witness as I give the codes which will destroy the Andromeda intelligence.
- Andromeda Ascendant, are you ready? - Yes, Captain, I am ready.
Oh, we almost forgot.
Mr.
President, your entrance music.
What? NoI - We want to observe proper protocol.
- No! No, no, please, no, stop, Is there a problem? This is a mistake.
I don't understand.
Of course you do.
You're the one that loaded the computer virus into the presidential music.
Which is why you never played any for yourself.
After Tyr's behavior provided you with the perfect cover, you directed Andromeda to kill President Lee.
At least, kill the man in the presidential breastplate.
Recognition software is dicey, and you Castalians, you all look so much alike.
Excluding, of course, Colonel Yao.
Much safer to tell Rommie to target the guy with the dish on his chest than to tell her to shoot at a guy with tubes sticking out of his fishneck.
It was a good plan, you must admit.
- You needed better music.
Ulysses Chandos, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of President Lee.
I don't understand.
You were already gonna succeed him.
- You just had to wait a few more days.
- For his resignation.
That was the problem.
Pleaseplease stop the camera.
I want to talk to Colonel Yao and Captain Hunt in private.
Clear the deck.
You have to understand.
- What I did, I did for Castalia.
- You're lying.
You both know that Lee was going to resign after the charter ratification, but have you seen his resignation speech? Well, I have.
He couldn't leave well-enough alone.
His damn ego.
He didn't want to just be a hero.
He wanted to be a saint.
But we both know there are no saints on the battlements, - are there, Captain? - No.
Not really.
The Volsung orbital did not explode by accident.
Lee ordered its destruction.
I know, I was there.
We both agreed.
You let the super-men go, and they'll come back stronger than before.
There are no non-combatant Nietzscheans.
A three-year-old will disembowel a man.
What about the laborers? The slaves? Collateral damage.
A small price to pay for freedom.
- Or so we thought.
- I don't believe you.
Oh, the record's clear, colonel.
Your hero, he had feet of clay bloody clay, at that.
But even worse, he had a conscience.
If he had confessed, the air-breathers would have demanded blood vengeance.
The water-breathers, they would've resisted, and we would've been faced with a civil war.
I tried to talk him out of it.
I told him he was putting too much trust in his people, but heof course, he would not listen.
He left me no choice.
- I had to save the republic.
- By killing the man who created it.
You must let me go.
We can find someone else to blame for Lee's murder, or leave it unsolved.
But we can't let the truth come out.
It will destroy us all.
Castalia and your Commonwealth.
If you think I'll cooperate in a coverup, you're mistaken.
Colonel, your prisoner.
That's a lifepod to your right.
You're letting me go.
- No, you're trying to escape.
- What? What are you doing? I wish you wouldn't.
- It'll only make things worse.
- It will make everything right.
I'll kill him, then confess to being guilty to killing them both.
They'll believe me.
They never turn down a confession.
Especially from a breather.
They'll execute you.
It's the only way to preserve the republic.
I'm not going to let either of you cover up a genocide.
If the Commonwealth stands for anything, it stands for open process of the law.
And if the institutions of Sebastian Lee can survive his death, they certainly can survive the truth about his life.
And you you've been fighting me all along, demanding justice.
Well, now you can have it.
- But only if you let the truth come out.
- The truth? The truth is that the man that I loved like a father betrayed my people.
I would have died for him! He was a great man.
A great man who made a terrible mistake.
And the people of Castalia should know that.
Nothing is more important than the truth.
Nothing.
Parliament ratified the charter with three votes to spare.
- Another step toward a new Commonwealth.
- A rather large one.
I should think you would be pleased.
I've been following the news reports.
Riots on some of the islands, counter-demonstrations.
It'll probably blow over soon.
- Are you familiar with Aeschuylus? - Ancient Earth, right? Greek tragedy? Very good.
I was thinking specifically of the Orestean Trilogy.
The house of Atreus was cursed by the gods, condemned to murder one another throughout history.
Orestes mother killed his father.
He was forced to kill her in revenge.
Forced to kill.
Much as Andromeda was forced to kill.
Do you remember how the curse was finally ended? Apollo invented the jury trial.
- The jury found Orestes innocent.
- Indeed.
The cycle was broken when public justice replaced private vengeance, just as you are trying to do.
There's only one problem with your analogy, Rev.
Apollo was a god.
I'm just a man.