Another Period (2015) s01e10 Episode Script

1 Previously on Another Period We are engaged.
Please, Frederick, don't do this.
I hope we can still be brother and sister.
Ah! Oh, my-- Albert.
No one will ever replace you.
- I feel like ten bucks.
- Oh, Mother.
How long are you going to bring up your miraculous liberation from drug addiction? You sucked my dick, Madam.
The press is coming.
Scoops LePue.
So nice to meet a fellow writer.
This little fellow's Tabu.
Won him in a game of karinki.
I am yours.
Forever.
- No, I'm good.
- No, thank you.
Thank you, though.
Feeding your fish to the commodore? I'm gonna blackmail the shit out of her.
What do you want? I want the house.
We'd love to induct you as a member of Newport's Clam Bake Club.
Lillian and Beatrice have gone missing.
Those stupid bitches are stealing our rickshaw.
Bye.
So tell me about yourself, Frederick.
Well, I still wet the bed.
And sometimes I brown it too.
There'll be plenty of times to work out the kinks, my dear.
Yes.
Our whole lives.
Yay.
Can I say, I adore young couples in love.
- And our readers will too.
- Well, then.
I'm sure they will also love reading about the biggest damn merger marriage in history.
His steel and my magnets.
That's goddamn science.
Commie, you old tit.
When I started, I was a simple fur trapper.
Look at me now.
My son will be married into the most powerful family on the Eastern Seaboard.
Never again will they say, "You won't amount to anything, Harold Bellawitcz.
" I mean, Bellacourt.
Someday, Celery, that will be you and I.
Peepers, it's been a very stressful day, with the nuptials and all.
I've been having certain cravings.
I understand, Madam, but I think it's best if we avoid becoming physical with one another again.
No, you fool.
For morphine.
Right.
Of course.
That's what I was referring to.
What were you referring to? I was referring to morphine.
Don't know what you were referring to at all.
What shall be done? You must strap me into the sobriety flat until the wedding.
It took me years to marry off that useless boy.
I don't want to do anything today to jeopardize it.
But, oh, I want a hit of the good stuff so badly, I'd stuck it out of a sailor's salt lick if I had to.
For safety, Madam.
I'll undo you when it's time for the vows.
Ah.
There you are.
My rum money's getting a little thin.
I just love the taste of blackmail.
And I'm not talking about Scott Joplin.
Did you just grab your stomach? Holy shit.
Are you pregnant? You got a little Commodore baby in there? Choke on your own dick.
If you're not pregnant, let me punch you in the stomach.
Why would I let you punch me? I knew it.
You are pregnant.
I've decided to refinance our deal.
'Cause Dodo don't like it when servants spread their legs for her husband.
And I just love telling Dodo secrets.
Wait.
What? What you you mean "what"? - You tell her secrets? - I'm-- You tell her secrets? No, no, I-- I, well, sometimes.
Look.
I want to blackmail you for more money because, uh, you're pregnant with her husband's child, and she doesn't know that.
And if she knew that, that would be very bad for you.
Does that make sense? It was a bit longwinded.
Well, which part, the explaining or the thing before it? I got the end part, but I didn't understand the beginning at all.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, damn it.
Uh, maybe-- maybe I'm not being clear here.
Go back to the Dodo part.
Dodo is married to the commodore, right? What are you doing in here? I didn't ring for you.
You don't need to ring for me.
I come whenever, wherever, and with whomever I want.
You insolent wench.
Put your face next to my hand so that I can slap it.
What are you doing? I think you should give in to those cravings.
Why not? No, that's too much.
It'll kill me.
No.
You'll be alive enough to see me take everything you've got.
Just alive enough.
Faster, faster! This is an important day.
- Don't you understand that? - Go, Garfield.
- We need to get there.
Go.
- Go, Garfield.
I don't want to miss the wedding.
Stick them up.
You two.
Aren't you Ponzi's indentured child servant? No.
I make my living carriage-jacking now.
What do you want, Tabu? We don't have any spices and we're in a hurry.
Allow me to accompany you and you'll come to no harm.
I only want a warm place to stay and to serve you.
- No, thank you.
- I don't think so.
I have cocaine wine.
All right, you're pleased to join us.
Oh! Mm-hmm.
Hop aboard.
The ceremony is-- Oh, no.
Lady Dodo, how did you manage to do this? You just couldn't stay away, could you? I was only gone for five minutes, and here you are injecting yourself with poison.
Dodo.
What are you telling me? - What are you saying? - No.
- What, you didn't do this? - No.
Dodo, did somebody do this to you? - Oh, Lady Dodo.
- Mm-hmm.
Who did this to you? Tell me who did-- the wallpaper? The wainscoting? No? The settee? The Rodin sculpture? The Triceratops fossil? The gold pelican vase? The Zulu hunting spear? The chair? The chair? Chair.
Have you counted the towels recently? Chair gave it to me.
She's in the meat locker.
She did this.
What are you doing out here, you muskrat? The Commodore called out the name Celine.
Sir, I'm the new servant girl, Celine.
Chair! 199 Rockefeller, Rockefeller yeah, yeah This is Mitchell P.
Spiritwalker.
I authorize the release of Blanche the servant.
Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry, operator.
That is my mistake.
I'm still figuring out how these infernal contraptions work.
Can you see me? Now, move it.
- Go, Garfield.
- Hurry, go faster.
- Hurry.
Move, man.
Move! - Go.
What are you waiting for? - What is wrong with you? - Mush, Garfield.
Mush.
Shut your spoiled mouths! All I ever wanted was to be a servant.
As a little boy, I dreamed of eating gruel and scrubbing the anuses of the very rich.
I'd sneak to the latrines of the great houses of Newport, stick my head into a trench, take a deep sniff, and think, "Someday.
" And I served with pride at Bellacourt Manor only to be tossed into the streets like a beggar! All right.
We understand you have feelings.
Now take us home, Garfield.
Now, Jarfeld! I no longer work for you.
If you want my help, you're going to have to say "please.
" Never.
Well, then you three enjoy yourselves.
Pease.
No.
Pea Still, no.
Plea-- plea-- Plea-- plea-- Good-bye.
Please? Well, when you put it that way.
Come on.
We're still to make the wedding.
That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What a functional wedding that was, that just happened one moment ago.
Congratulations, or whatever.
And now it's time for the mother-son dance.
That's you.
There must be some way out of this.
That man is an imbecile.
Oh, muffin, please.
Plenty of strong women have married imbeciles and thrived.
Look at Mary Todd Lincoln.
They say behind every great man is a great woman.
Not a morphine-soaked sack of dusty rags.
Maybe you need a new woman to run the estate.
I'm starting to think you're right.
Chair.
Go polish the turtles.
I love polishing things.
- Sir, sir.
- Hmm? I must speak with you about that serving girl.
No, she's off limits.
Dip your feather duster elsewhere.
She's an agent of chaos and destruction.
She must be fired.
Not only will she not be fired, but if I ever hear you slander her again or molest her in any way, it is you who will be fired.
- But-- but-- - No molesting! That's an order! As you wish, sir.
We're back.
We're here to stop the wedding! Hi, Frederick.
It's me, Garfield.
Does anybody care where we've been? I just figured you died.
Rather disappointed, actually.
There you are.
You've missed everything.
The wedding is over.
What? No.
You came too late, Bea.
I'm Mr.
Celery Savoy now.
Beatrice, you look like a doll who's been flung into a trash heap.
Lillian, you look like you escaped from a whorehouse for insane pygmies.
Is that a bathing costume? Not typical attire for a wedding.
Which is odd for you, 'cause you're usually such a typical girl.
Wet Christmas, it's a scandal! The Bellacourts are the worst family in Newport.
Someone wrote an exposé about our family.
They called us the "modern pigs.
" Father, you impregnated a servant? Beatrice.
You're sleeping with our brother? You're both incestors.
And you, Lillian.
You slept with our most disgusting servant.
Mm, ha ha ha.
Ooh.
Eee.
Ah.
And you.
Yes! It's true! It's all true! Albert and I are in a loving and committed relationship.
You're actually not mentioned in the article.
I'm just joshing.
Trying to lighten the mood.
Some jokes.
Yum, yummy vaginas.
Right, boys? Who would publish such lies? Well, it must have been that muckraker Scoops LePue.
You've been lurking around our family for months.
I didn't write it.
By my trough, I swear.
I only cover gossip.
Oh, wait.
We are leaving.
Yes, we are leaving.
No, we are leaving.
You people are perfect for Baltimore.
You're disgusting.
Daddy, help.
Sorry, Cel.
This is your family now.
There's nothing I can do.
Well, there is one thing I can do.
I can cut off all business ties with this family.
No, Daddy, don't go.
Mommy.
Mommy, please.
You have sullied the family name.
You destroyed it all because of your selfishness.
I'm not selfish.
I just care about my own pleasure without regard for others.
I'm sorry I slept with Frederick for 25 years, Daddy.
I don't care what you did.
I only care that people found out.
I cannot have this scandal.
You're banished from Bellacourt! Collect your things.
What? No! Just when I thought I found a home, banished.
Yes, to my great shame, I was tricked into firing Garfield.
Now I must rectify the situation.
Does this mean I have my old job back? Of course not, you imbecile.
Your old position has been nullified.
But I was able to move some things about, and I can offer you the position of potato scrubber.
The hours are long, the work is dangerous, and you'll be paid 1/10th the wage.
Oh, it's all I ever wanted.
Thank you, Mr.
Peepers.
And here.
Towel was never mine to begin with.
Somewhere, inside, I always knew that.
Thank you, Garfield.
Oh, a stain.
What are you doing in here? This is where we do our on-site diamond cutting.
Well, it's my room now.
Ask your husband.
I won't stand for it.
Servants cannot move upstairs.
Earthworms don't change into butterflies, Chair.
My name is Celine.
this is the playa school school, school this is the playa school school, school, school, school this is the playa school school, school this is the playa school Hello, Chair.
I'm back.
No! You! You need to know your place.
It's downstairs! Open up, you ragamuffin! Hamish Crassus, you're under arrest for the murder of one Scoops LePue.
Celine had me arrested for murdering Scoops LePue.
Who the hell is Scoops LePue? Does anybody know who the fuck that is, huh? I was ordered not to touch Chair.
Nobody said anything about reporters.
Nobody besmirches the Bellacourts under my watch.
Nobody.
I did it.
I wrote the article.
I can't help daydreaming of you even as I do the things I do all day and night here in my room, I'm daydreaming when you smile, you light up my day wish that you would smile for me that way 'cause in my mind, you always stay I'm daydreaming starlight star bright first star I see tonight I wish I may, I wish I might be alone with you tonight I have heard sweet dreams come true dreaming of you, dreaming of me too I see your face your eyes of blue I'm daydreaming Hey, it's the Pig Sisters.
Oh, neat.
I never met anyone famous before.
- Famous? - Oh, yeah.
- Everybody knows who you are.
- Really? Your family's more messed up than mine.
And my father fed my mother to us in a stew he made.
Oh, will you sign my pepper? Ohh! Hey, everybody, look.
It's the Pig Sisters.
And they're even more pig-like in person.
- Yeah.
We're the Pig Sisters.
- That's us.
Beatrice and I were thinking too small.
Forget trying to get accepted into society.
We're going to get famous.
Yeah.
I love you all.
I don't know how to spell.
But I made that.
Love, Lillian.
Anyone want to sketch me? I'll try.
- Could you get that? - Oh, okay, thank you.
ooh, them haters hot now them haters hot now