Betas (2013) s01e10 Episode Script
Blinded by the Light
1 [ Deer Tick: "The Bump".]
I've got a lust for life And a dangerous mind In my trail of dust Who knows what you'll find I can take a tree And tear it from its roots If you see me I suggest you move We're full-grown men Nash-tag! How you livin', buddy? - How's Los Angeles? - Uh, sunny.
Hold on.
- We'll face the music - [shutter snaps.]
You won't believe where Victoria put me up.
This place makes our dorm room look like a third world country.
You really need to visit a third world country.
You know what I mean.
Check out Insta, I'll post pics.
I hope you find time to take a few meetings in-between photo brags.
Hey, quit worrying.
OK? I can hear you stress-walking from here.
Me and Victoria? We got this.
I'll check in later.
We'll face the music Next time we roll in [ Telekinesis: "Power Lines".]
I'm a broken man I'm damaged goods Lock me in the basement with furnace soot [sighs.]
I can't bring Michael an old album for his birthday.
- It's tacky.
- You're right, gay dudes hate vintage kitsch.
You're being facetious, aren't you? Yeah.
Pretty much always.
Maybe I'll just get him a gift card.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Nothing says "thoughtful" like 20 bucks worth of frappuccinos.
- Come on, man.
- You know, I probably shouldn't even be going in the first place.
No.
Look, OK, Lau wouldn't have invited you - if he didn't want you there.
- Yeah.
- Now let's pick something.
- OK - Move over.
- [grunts.]
So, you're taking Mitch, huh? Mm-hmm.
I bet he's pretty jazzed to be your plus one.
Mitchell is jazzed to put socks on in the morning.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Has he said anything to you? If you want to know how he's doing, just ask him.
Uh, Michael had a t-shirt of this band.
Hey.
Yo La Tengo.
It's like Al Green for hipsters.
Is that good? - It's fucking perfect.
- [laughs.]
Antwonne has filed an official complaint, which has made things very awkward for us here at ValleySmash.
- That's funny.
I don't feel awkward.
- You should.
Sexual harassment is not something we just sweep under the rug.
Does this mean you won't suck my dick? It means that you're going on a leave of absence to attend a sensitivity training seminar.
- Which you clearly need.
- Huh.
And I don't suppose that Antwonne will suddenly get bumped up to editor in my absence.
It's a slap on the wrist, Jordan.
Be grateful for that.
You spineless twat.
There's no need for theatrics.
Oh, really? 'Cause you've been getting fat off of my "theatrics" for years, Lambert.
I'm the only one driving the eyeballs to your shitty little blog to begin with! OK, why don't we revisit this at a time you're not Revisit this.
I fucking quit! [sighs, laughs.]
[up-tempo music playing.]
- Hello.
- Hi.
Oh.
[laughs.]
To "enabling serendipity.
" [laughs.]
All right.
Uh, now I put together a list of potential investors on the flight down.
I thought maybe we should compare notes OK, all right.
Slow your roll there, cowboy.
[laughs.]
You're here because you trust me, remember? I've made inquiries, and there's a lot of people that are excited about you, including Jayson Prust.
The founder of Zip Text? I can't believe we're on his radar.
I'm sure it doesn't hurt that I made him a millionaire before his 23rd birthday.
Well, then we've got some catching up to do.
I'm 24 and nearly broke.
- That's because you just met me.
- [laughs.]
Trevor's dad, our physical connection just dissolved.
It was as if our souls became estranged.
And don't get me started on his browsing history.
[whispers.]
He was into some very weird stuff.
Would you stop it? I almost cut your ear.
I wish you would.
It would beat hearing about you and Dad's sex life.
Total opposite with Brenda and me.
By the time we got divorced, sex was all we had.
It was the only way we could be in the same room without trying to choke each other.
Although there was some choking involved.
It was just such a cliche, you know? He just wanted someone younger.
Prettier.
Asian-er.
- [snorts.]
Sounds like an asshole.
- At least he's not homeless.
You know, it's the same in tech.
Everyone's so obsessed with the new.
You know, hey, maybe the latest is not the greatest.
Yeah.
Doesn't experience count for anything? Wisdom? - A lot of bitching? - [laughs.]
To experience.
[bottles clink.]
Hey, could you maybe wait to get shitfaced until after we're done? Watch your mouth, young man.
- Screw Kansas, right? - [laughs.]
Yeah.
I thought we were taking a lunch meeting.
Yeah.
We are.
The Zip crew is hosting a barbecue for TechWeek.
There he is.
- How ya livin', Vicky Smalls? - Hey.
- She hates it when I call her that.
- [laughs.]
Jayson, this is Trey Barrett.
Founder of BRB.
Dude, total pleasure.
Your app is so sick.
- Thanks, man.
It's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- No.
Bring it in.
That's how we do.
- [laughs.]
Medium rare all right for you? - Only way to fly.
- Yeah, bloody for me.
- Full paleo? Keep it tight, girl.
- Yeah.
I like it.
I get these steaks from a lesbian butcher in WeHo.
Dry-aged six weeks.
They are literally off the hook.
[laughs.]
This place is incredible.
It's not a dirty alley in SOMA, or anything, but we manage somehow.
Hey, don't sell Velocity short.
We just got a cereal buffet.
Lemme guess.
You You just had your demo day.
Did the whole dog and pony for a bunch of lanyard-hangers who said shit like, "Oh, you know, we think this is brilliant but, uh, why don't you get back to us in six months?" [laughs.]
Yeah, there was there was definitely talk of circling back.
That's why I had to pull the ripcord and set up shop down here, you know.
Let the quants quibble over spreadsheets while I actually build something for users without all the bullshit.
- Does that look done to you? - Looks great.
- This is a nice house.
- Pretty.
Avinash! I'm so glad you could make it.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, yeah.
Thank you for inviting me.
Um Of course.
So this is, um, uh, Mitchell.
- Hey.
- Mitchell, pleasure.
[laughs.]
Are you guys together? - No.
We're not.
- Yep.
We we work together.
At BRB.
No, yeah.
Oh, no.
Total mistake.
We're not together.
We rode over here together but, uh, Nash asked me to be his plus one 'cause he didn't wanna - He was afraid to come alone.
- No, I wasn't.
No, I mean, uh, Nash doesn't like to drive and so he asked me to so that he wouldn't get sweaty biking over here.
This is where the magic happens.
'Sup, Shawnda? Wow.
Uh, seems pretty laid back.
Yeah, we play hard but, uh, I don't know, work gets done.
We actually just pushed an epic update, added some sick new filters to Zip Video.
Great.
Teenagers can send their dick pics in sepia tone.
Bong, bong, bong! This guy gets it.
Um, is this your team? [laughs.]
These guys? Oh.
God, no.
No.
That's Juicebox back there.
We went to high school together.
Dude was all-state lacrosse.
So where where are your engineers? Well, I used to have this CTO some fucking Chinese guy.
But he started getting grabby when we were blowing up.
He was trying to block my shine.
Now I basically just outsource to India and Brazil.
I'll tell you what "CTO" really stands for.
"Can't take over.
" Actually, my CTO is my best friend.
[sighs.]
All I'm sayin' is watch your back.
Anyway, how much you guys lookin' to raise? I, uh, we're still discussing that.
All right.
Well, whenever you're ready let's chop it up.
I already got some ideas on how to improve the app.
Uh, like the "hidden profiles" thing? Gots to go.
[forced chuckle.]
Totally.
Uh, would you excuse me? I think I left my shades downstairs, bro.
Oh.
Yeah.
Protect those corneas, bud.
Where's Trey? I was hoping to continue mending our broken fence.
Oh.
He's in LA, meeting with investors.
- Without you? - I didn't want to miss your party.
- Uh, this is for you.
- Oh.
Avinash.
You shouldn't have.
But, seeing that you did, may I? - Please.
- Yeah? Wow this takes me back.
Seventh grade high school in Australia.
[laughs.]
My first concert.
- Oh, and my first kiss.
- Oh So thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
Hey, let me introduce you to my mates.
Everyone, this is my mate, Avinash, and Mitchell, a new one.
Let's show them a good time, yeah? - Ted, you're on cocktail duty.
- You got it.
Sweet, uh, could I please get a Vodka-Red Bull? Oh, you poor child.
Come with me.
- I'll show you.
- Oh.
OK.
Show you the ways.
[laughs.]
Let me guess, Jay went douche-point-oh on you? Yeah.
Not my favorite person.
Well, listen, we don't have to bite until it feels good.
This is about making an opportunity for you, not Zip Text.
[sighs.]
- All right.
- Come on.
Party's heating up.
Plenty more douchebags for you to meet.
[laughs.]
Great.
It just all came out of nowhere, you know? I like opened the door.
I was like, "What do you want?" And it was like, boom! Kiss, hands, zip! And I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the brakes there, baby girl.
" And, you know, looking back I guess that was kind of a puss move, but it was just it was just a lot to process, in like a little bit of time.
So And that's when she started crying? Yeah, man, it got real, like real fast.
'Cause I was like, "Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
Like finally.
" And she was just like, "My mom sucks.
" And I kinda just like held her in my arms until she fell asleep.
And it was awesome, but it sucked at the same time.
[sighs.]
Have you talked to her since then? Yeah, but she was like uber casual in the morning, you know.
Like we shared a toaster strudel and I just felt like I was just back in the friend zone.
Like that.
- I don't know what to do - Well, here's the thing, Mitch.
To her, you're this like sweet, cute guy who's gonna be there for her through all of her ups and downs.
You're her rock.
Which is Which is really cool, if you can roll like that.
But I've known you for about 20 minutes and I'm pretty sure you can't, so [laughs.]
unless you're cool with just waiting in the wings forever, then you need to tell her what you want.
Even if that means letting her go.
Damn, Ted.
That was some real talk.
You're right, man.
I gotta [inhales.]
I gotta sack up.
I gotta be a man.
[laughs.]
You are a man.
So, Trey's in LA, huh? Don't you think you should be with your CEO? Meeting people, making decisions about BRB's future? I mean I understand that you're friends, but business is business.
Uh, it was a joint decision.
Besides, um, he's better at that stuff than me.
[laughs.]
You have no idea how valuable you are, Avinash.
You know, uh, my development team can hardly keep up with our company's growth, you know.
An engineer like you, with your vision, your talent, could turn it around in a month.
I wish you could see that.
There's my birthday boy! Oh, you cannot be serious about that.
I'm very serious.
Come on.
I refuse to let this be another one of your boring wine and chitchat evenings.
It's a fucking fiesta.
Raffi, this is Avinash.
Avinash, this is my aggressively Hispanic boyfriend, Rafael.
Uh, it's it's very nice to meet you.
I can't tell you how sick I am of hearing your name.
Oh.
Thank you.
Hey.
You're embarrassing us.
Oh.
Ben and Avery, they just brought their new puppy.
It's a little mastiff named Maximus and it's adorable.
Come on.
Let's go meet him before he shits all over your bamboo floors.
- [laughs.]
Will you excuse us? - Of course.
All right.
Let's do this.
[Dashawn.]
No contest, dude.
Present-day Metallica blows chunks compared to Dethklok.
Dude, even present-day Metallica hates present-day Metallica.
I'm talking about "Ride The Lightning," "Master of Puppets," the real deal Denmark shit.
Plus Dethklok are like, cartoons.
Seriously? They toured last year, you idiot.
We went and saw them.
- Oh, yeah.
- Has he ever gotten an MRI? I feel like brain damage is a real possibility for him.
He huffed a lot of paint back in the day.
Got any dirties? I'm doing a load.
Yeah, but, uh, you know, I don't wanna put you out.
Don't be silly.
It's no trouble.
All right.
God, I feel like I should take you out to dinner or something.
Well, I might just take you up on that.
OK.
Besides, dude, Kirk Hammett is from San Francisco.
- Where's your pride? - Where's yours? You just offered up your skid-marked skivvies to Trev's mom to wash.
As far as Hammett's concerned, the guy owns a horse ranch.
- Case closed.
- I don't know what that means.
[Joanne.]
Hobbes, can you come down here for a minute? I I think the machine's leaking! Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
Make yourself useful, King Nothing.
[laughs.]
[laughs.]
- You like that? - [grunts.]
- We gotta get him outta here.
- Yeah.
[strumming quiet rhythm.]
Jordan? Wow, of all the bonfires, on all the beaches in all the world, she walks into mine.
- [laughs.]
That's a shitty Bogey.
- I know.
I'm just surprised you know the reference.
[grunts.]
Just 'cause I used to work for a gossip rag doesn't mean I'm completely uncultured.
- Used to? - I guess you don't read the trades - unless they're about you, huh? - No, it's been a busy day.
Yeah.
It's a long story, but ValleySmash and I have parted ways.
- They fired you? - Fired.
Quit.
Lost my shit.
- Semantics.
- [laughs.]
Yeah, I I came down here for TechWeek, trying to find some greener pastures.
The Murch shot at me with a paintball gun - and told me to go fuck myself.
- Huh.
So, I guess we're in the same boat.
Well, it might be a long journey.
We better get some sustenance.
Ah, allow me.
Hey, uh, do you mind? Oh, sorry.
Is that Zack Casper? [chuckles.]
Oh, yeah.
I thought I recognized that slouch from the cover of Forbes.
Well, I have to go talk to him.
I mean, I'd be stupid not to, right? I never thought of you as stupid.
What's the problem? Oh, I I realized I don't have all your dirty clothes.
[laughs.]
Oh, whoa, whoa.
OK.
[moans, sighs.]
It's so nice to have a man around the house.
And for the record, I still wanna go out to dinner.
[moans, sighs.]
I got a Groupon for Destino.
[sighs.]
[gasps.]
Hi.
Uh, I'm sorry to intrude.
I just You've been a huge inspiration for me and I knew if I didn't say something, I'd regret it.
- What's your name? - Trey Barrett.
The "face to face" app, right? From Murchison's accelerator.
BRB.
Yeah, I I can't believe you've heard of it.
I keep my ear to the ground.
Social's my sphere, after all.
I know.
Convene.
com changed my life.
My parents divorced when I was 12, I was home alone a lot, and going online in your chat rooms, that made me actually feel like I was part of the world outside.
I'm sorry, I don't know why I told you all that.
I It's my business, but it doesn't mean I'm good at it.
- Socializing.
- I'm not very good at it either.
You had no problem approaching me.
Yeah, sometimes, my ambition takes over like cruise control, I just I don't know.
- It's hard to explain.
- What are your ambitions? To change the world.
I was ten when my parents called it quits.
I created Convene so kids could make friends across space and time.
Maybe we ended up creating a generation of people who prefer their virtual lives to their real ones.
I don't think the tools are the problem.
I think we're just using them wrong.
Maybe you're right.
Good luck, Trey.
[sighs.]
[ Yo La Tengo: "Autumn Sweater".]
[all chanting.]
Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael [cheering.]
These are ridiculously cool dudes.
That guy, Ted, offered to teach me Japanese.
- [speaks Japanese.]
- [indistinct shouting.]
Hey, what's up, man? You all right? I feel like such an idiot.
I came here because I thought he Who? [laughs.]
Ohh Yeah.
Cool, man, cool.
Cool.
Hey, dude.
Don't feel stupid.
You're, like, the smartest guy I know.
I'm the one that should feel like an idiot.
I I had no idea how you felt about Michael until Look, man, I'm just saying, I got your back, all right? Whatever you need.
Did that help or did I make it worse? [sighs.]
I think I'd like to go home.
Sure, man.
You got it.
We outtie.
- [rattling.]
- [distant moan.]
[rattling, moaning continue.]
Yeah, Miss Walls.
You wanna do my laundry, Miss Walls? - You betcha.
- Yeah.
It's so dirty.
-It's dirty laundry.
-[grunts.]
[sighing.]
- Yes! Yes! - To experience! [laughs.]
Hey.
Sorry.
Are you hungry? Wanna get out of here? What did you have in mind? I don't know.
Food.
Tacos, maybe.
Anything you want.
- Just the two of us? - Is that crazy? Look who you're talking to.
[up-tempo music playing.]
Don't ask yourself If you're holding back tonight 'Cause this is everybody's chance for romance 'Cause this is everybody's one side romance - [Michael.]
Avinash.
- Meet you at the Mitch Mobile? - Leaving so early? - Yes, I, um Mitchell needs to be somewhere.
Oh.
My mates thought he was great.
You too, for that matter.
They're nice people.
I think you'd have fun getting to know 'em.
Listen you know, I invited you here because I wanted you to see what's possible how good it can be if you just embrace what's there.
- I don't know how.
- Yes.
You do.
There's nothing you can't do.
Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
All right.
- That was off the record, right? - [laughs.]
Hey, I know a revenge fuck when I feel one.
Uh, it wasn't that hot.
- Owww! - [laughs.]
- Respect the crazy.
- All right, yes.
Mad respect.
Jesus, what am I doing here? God, it wasn't that bad.
No, no, I mean this whole trip.
Everything's just gone off the rails.
If things don't work out with Victoria, I'm screwed.
I didn't exactly pack a parachute.
You know, sleeping with me usually gives men confidence.
- [laughs.]
- [phone rings.]
Hello? What the fuck did you say to Zack Casper? We just talked.
I think.
OK.
Well, whatever you said, it was love at first sight.
He's considering a major investment.
I just got off the phone with him.
He told me to cancel the rest of our meetings.
He wants to sit down next week in SF.
Well, what does that mean? It means you won the lottery, kid.
Get ready to change the fucking world.
- To us! Team BRB! - Yeah! - Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag! - Yeah! - Mmm.
- Ah.
Casper's coming up on Friday.
Victoria said he just wants to fly in, settle the terms and fly out.
I guess he's heading to Barcelona to open - another Convene campus.
- That is cool.
Soon as we get that scrill, I'm gonna buy the '89 Winged Eagle championship belt like Hulk Hogan wore.
And, uh, just a lock of whatever hair is left.
- [laughs.]
- Oh, Mitchy, it's so nice to see money hasn't changed you.
I'm gonna get one of those hot air balloons.
Just fly around with my friends and have adventures.
That's cool, bro.
I'd be happy with a regular paycheck.
Yeah, if we could actually keep this quiet until after Brenda marries that backstabbing prick it'd be great.
I just don't want her grubby hands all over my zeppelin.
- You know what I'm gonna buy? - What? - Another round.
- Yay! -I like that.
-Thank you.
Hey.
This is real, right? We can be excited? Yeah.
Yeah, we can be excited.
- [laughs.]
- [phone chimes.]
Oh, can you? Always leave 'em wanting more.
I guess it worked, huh? Shut up.
We need to talk.
Oh.
OK.
What's up? Something about your encounter with Casper got my Spidey-Senses tingling.
I mean, what is America's favorite billionaire doing just hanging out at Zip Manor? Maybe he likes ribeye.
What's your point? I did some digging.
It turns out that Victoria's known Casper for months, if not longer.
She had to have known that he would be at the beach.
So what are you saying? That Victoria didn't bring me there to meet investors? That she brought me there to meet him? This was all part of her plan? Trey, you need to be careful.
This "deal" isn't what it appears to be.
I hope you didn't spend any of that investment money yet.
[rock music plays.]
Try to see the road ahead Don't you know? Don't you know? 'Cause what you see is what you get [man.]
Watch all episodes of Alpha House, starring John Goodman.
- Oh, that'd be great.
- Exclusively on Amazon Prime Instant Video.
Amazing.
I've got a lust for life And a dangerous mind In my trail of dust Who knows what you'll find I can take a tree And tear it from its roots If you see me I suggest you move We're full-grown men Nash-tag! How you livin', buddy? - How's Los Angeles? - Uh, sunny.
Hold on.
- We'll face the music - [shutter snaps.]
You won't believe where Victoria put me up.
This place makes our dorm room look like a third world country.
You really need to visit a third world country.
You know what I mean.
Check out Insta, I'll post pics.
I hope you find time to take a few meetings in-between photo brags.
Hey, quit worrying.
OK? I can hear you stress-walking from here.
Me and Victoria? We got this.
I'll check in later.
We'll face the music Next time we roll in [ Telekinesis: "Power Lines".]
I'm a broken man I'm damaged goods Lock me in the basement with furnace soot [sighs.]
I can't bring Michael an old album for his birthday.
- It's tacky.
- You're right, gay dudes hate vintage kitsch.
You're being facetious, aren't you? Yeah.
Pretty much always.
Maybe I'll just get him a gift card.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Nothing says "thoughtful" like 20 bucks worth of frappuccinos.
- Come on, man.
- You know, I probably shouldn't even be going in the first place.
No.
Look, OK, Lau wouldn't have invited you - if he didn't want you there.
- Yeah.
- Now let's pick something.
- OK - Move over.
- [grunts.]
So, you're taking Mitch, huh? Mm-hmm.
I bet he's pretty jazzed to be your plus one.
Mitchell is jazzed to put socks on in the morning.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Has he said anything to you? If you want to know how he's doing, just ask him.
Uh, Michael had a t-shirt of this band.
Hey.
Yo La Tengo.
It's like Al Green for hipsters.
Is that good? - It's fucking perfect.
- [laughs.]
Antwonne has filed an official complaint, which has made things very awkward for us here at ValleySmash.
- That's funny.
I don't feel awkward.
- You should.
Sexual harassment is not something we just sweep under the rug.
Does this mean you won't suck my dick? It means that you're going on a leave of absence to attend a sensitivity training seminar.
- Which you clearly need.
- Huh.
And I don't suppose that Antwonne will suddenly get bumped up to editor in my absence.
It's a slap on the wrist, Jordan.
Be grateful for that.
You spineless twat.
There's no need for theatrics.
Oh, really? 'Cause you've been getting fat off of my "theatrics" for years, Lambert.
I'm the only one driving the eyeballs to your shitty little blog to begin with! OK, why don't we revisit this at a time you're not Revisit this.
I fucking quit! [sighs, laughs.]
[up-tempo music playing.]
- Hello.
- Hi.
Oh.
[laughs.]
To "enabling serendipity.
" [laughs.]
All right.
Uh, now I put together a list of potential investors on the flight down.
I thought maybe we should compare notes OK, all right.
Slow your roll there, cowboy.
[laughs.]
You're here because you trust me, remember? I've made inquiries, and there's a lot of people that are excited about you, including Jayson Prust.
The founder of Zip Text? I can't believe we're on his radar.
I'm sure it doesn't hurt that I made him a millionaire before his 23rd birthday.
Well, then we've got some catching up to do.
I'm 24 and nearly broke.
- That's because you just met me.
- [laughs.]
Trevor's dad, our physical connection just dissolved.
It was as if our souls became estranged.
And don't get me started on his browsing history.
[whispers.]
He was into some very weird stuff.
Would you stop it? I almost cut your ear.
I wish you would.
It would beat hearing about you and Dad's sex life.
Total opposite with Brenda and me.
By the time we got divorced, sex was all we had.
It was the only way we could be in the same room without trying to choke each other.
Although there was some choking involved.
It was just such a cliche, you know? He just wanted someone younger.
Prettier.
Asian-er.
- [snorts.]
Sounds like an asshole.
- At least he's not homeless.
You know, it's the same in tech.
Everyone's so obsessed with the new.
You know, hey, maybe the latest is not the greatest.
Yeah.
Doesn't experience count for anything? Wisdom? - A lot of bitching? - [laughs.]
To experience.
[bottles clink.]
Hey, could you maybe wait to get shitfaced until after we're done? Watch your mouth, young man.
- Screw Kansas, right? - [laughs.]
Yeah.
I thought we were taking a lunch meeting.
Yeah.
We are.
The Zip crew is hosting a barbecue for TechWeek.
There he is.
- How ya livin', Vicky Smalls? - Hey.
- She hates it when I call her that.
- [laughs.]
Jayson, this is Trey Barrett.
Founder of BRB.
Dude, total pleasure.
Your app is so sick.
- Thanks, man.
It's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- No.
Bring it in.
That's how we do.
- [laughs.]
Medium rare all right for you? - Only way to fly.
- Yeah, bloody for me.
- Full paleo? Keep it tight, girl.
- Yeah.
I like it.
I get these steaks from a lesbian butcher in WeHo.
Dry-aged six weeks.
They are literally off the hook.
[laughs.]
This place is incredible.
It's not a dirty alley in SOMA, or anything, but we manage somehow.
Hey, don't sell Velocity short.
We just got a cereal buffet.
Lemme guess.
You You just had your demo day.
Did the whole dog and pony for a bunch of lanyard-hangers who said shit like, "Oh, you know, we think this is brilliant but, uh, why don't you get back to us in six months?" [laughs.]
Yeah, there was there was definitely talk of circling back.
That's why I had to pull the ripcord and set up shop down here, you know.
Let the quants quibble over spreadsheets while I actually build something for users without all the bullshit.
- Does that look done to you? - Looks great.
- This is a nice house.
- Pretty.
Avinash! I'm so glad you could make it.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, yeah.
Thank you for inviting me.
Um Of course.
So this is, um, uh, Mitchell.
- Hey.
- Mitchell, pleasure.
[laughs.]
Are you guys together? - No.
We're not.
- Yep.
We we work together.
At BRB.
No, yeah.
Oh, no.
Total mistake.
We're not together.
We rode over here together but, uh, Nash asked me to be his plus one 'cause he didn't wanna - He was afraid to come alone.
- No, I wasn't.
No, I mean, uh, Nash doesn't like to drive and so he asked me to so that he wouldn't get sweaty biking over here.
This is where the magic happens.
'Sup, Shawnda? Wow.
Uh, seems pretty laid back.
Yeah, we play hard but, uh, I don't know, work gets done.
We actually just pushed an epic update, added some sick new filters to Zip Video.
Great.
Teenagers can send their dick pics in sepia tone.
Bong, bong, bong! This guy gets it.
Um, is this your team? [laughs.]
These guys? Oh.
God, no.
No.
That's Juicebox back there.
We went to high school together.
Dude was all-state lacrosse.
So where where are your engineers? Well, I used to have this CTO some fucking Chinese guy.
But he started getting grabby when we were blowing up.
He was trying to block my shine.
Now I basically just outsource to India and Brazil.
I'll tell you what "CTO" really stands for.
"Can't take over.
" Actually, my CTO is my best friend.
[sighs.]
All I'm sayin' is watch your back.
Anyway, how much you guys lookin' to raise? I, uh, we're still discussing that.
All right.
Well, whenever you're ready let's chop it up.
I already got some ideas on how to improve the app.
Uh, like the "hidden profiles" thing? Gots to go.
[forced chuckle.]
Totally.
Uh, would you excuse me? I think I left my shades downstairs, bro.
Oh.
Yeah.
Protect those corneas, bud.
Where's Trey? I was hoping to continue mending our broken fence.
Oh.
He's in LA, meeting with investors.
- Without you? - I didn't want to miss your party.
- Uh, this is for you.
- Oh.
Avinash.
You shouldn't have.
But, seeing that you did, may I? - Please.
- Yeah? Wow this takes me back.
Seventh grade high school in Australia.
[laughs.]
My first concert.
- Oh, and my first kiss.
- Oh So thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
Hey, let me introduce you to my mates.
Everyone, this is my mate, Avinash, and Mitchell, a new one.
Let's show them a good time, yeah? - Ted, you're on cocktail duty.
- You got it.
Sweet, uh, could I please get a Vodka-Red Bull? Oh, you poor child.
Come with me.
- I'll show you.
- Oh.
OK.
Show you the ways.
[laughs.]
Let me guess, Jay went douche-point-oh on you? Yeah.
Not my favorite person.
Well, listen, we don't have to bite until it feels good.
This is about making an opportunity for you, not Zip Text.
[sighs.]
- All right.
- Come on.
Party's heating up.
Plenty more douchebags for you to meet.
[laughs.]
Great.
It just all came out of nowhere, you know? I like opened the door.
I was like, "What do you want?" And it was like, boom! Kiss, hands, zip! And I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the brakes there, baby girl.
" And, you know, looking back I guess that was kind of a puss move, but it was just it was just a lot to process, in like a little bit of time.
So And that's when she started crying? Yeah, man, it got real, like real fast.
'Cause I was like, "Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
Like finally.
" And she was just like, "My mom sucks.
" And I kinda just like held her in my arms until she fell asleep.
And it was awesome, but it sucked at the same time.
[sighs.]
Have you talked to her since then? Yeah, but she was like uber casual in the morning, you know.
Like we shared a toaster strudel and I just felt like I was just back in the friend zone.
Like that.
- I don't know what to do - Well, here's the thing, Mitch.
To her, you're this like sweet, cute guy who's gonna be there for her through all of her ups and downs.
You're her rock.
Which is Which is really cool, if you can roll like that.
But I've known you for about 20 minutes and I'm pretty sure you can't, so [laughs.]
unless you're cool with just waiting in the wings forever, then you need to tell her what you want.
Even if that means letting her go.
Damn, Ted.
That was some real talk.
You're right, man.
I gotta [inhales.]
I gotta sack up.
I gotta be a man.
[laughs.]
You are a man.
So, Trey's in LA, huh? Don't you think you should be with your CEO? Meeting people, making decisions about BRB's future? I mean I understand that you're friends, but business is business.
Uh, it was a joint decision.
Besides, um, he's better at that stuff than me.
[laughs.]
You have no idea how valuable you are, Avinash.
You know, uh, my development team can hardly keep up with our company's growth, you know.
An engineer like you, with your vision, your talent, could turn it around in a month.
I wish you could see that.
There's my birthday boy! Oh, you cannot be serious about that.
I'm very serious.
Come on.
I refuse to let this be another one of your boring wine and chitchat evenings.
It's a fucking fiesta.
Raffi, this is Avinash.
Avinash, this is my aggressively Hispanic boyfriend, Rafael.
Uh, it's it's very nice to meet you.
I can't tell you how sick I am of hearing your name.
Oh.
Thank you.
Hey.
You're embarrassing us.
Oh.
Ben and Avery, they just brought their new puppy.
It's a little mastiff named Maximus and it's adorable.
Come on.
Let's go meet him before he shits all over your bamboo floors.
- [laughs.]
Will you excuse us? - Of course.
All right.
Let's do this.
[Dashawn.]
No contest, dude.
Present-day Metallica blows chunks compared to Dethklok.
Dude, even present-day Metallica hates present-day Metallica.
I'm talking about "Ride The Lightning," "Master of Puppets," the real deal Denmark shit.
Plus Dethklok are like, cartoons.
Seriously? They toured last year, you idiot.
We went and saw them.
- Oh, yeah.
- Has he ever gotten an MRI? I feel like brain damage is a real possibility for him.
He huffed a lot of paint back in the day.
Got any dirties? I'm doing a load.
Yeah, but, uh, you know, I don't wanna put you out.
Don't be silly.
It's no trouble.
All right.
God, I feel like I should take you out to dinner or something.
Well, I might just take you up on that.
OK.
Besides, dude, Kirk Hammett is from San Francisco.
- Where's your pride? - Where's yours? You just offered up your skid-marked skivvies to Trev's mom to wash.
As far as Hammett's concerned, the guy owns a horse ranch.
- Case closed.
- I don't know what that means.
[Joanne.]
Hobbes, can you come down here for a minute? I I think the machine's leaking! Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
Make yourself useful, King Nothing.
[laughs.]
[laughs.]
- You like that? - [grunts.]
- We gotta get him outta here.
- Yeah.
[strumming quiet rhythm.]
Jordan? Wow, of all the bonfires, on all the beaches in all the world, she walks into mine.
- [laughs.]
That's a shitty Bogey.
- I know.
I'm just surprised you know the reference.
[grunts.]
Just 'cause I used to work for a gossip rag doesn't mean I'm completely uncultured.
- Used to? - I guess you don't read the trades - unless they're about you, huh? - No, it's been a busy day.
Yeah.
It's a long story, but ValleySmash and I have parted ways.
- They fired you? - Fired.
Quit.
Lost my shit.
- Semantics.
- [laughs.]
Yeah, I I came down here for TechWeek, trying to find some greener pastures.
The Murch shot at me with a paintball gun - and told me to go fuck myself.
- Huh.
So, I guess we're in the same boat.
Well, it might be a long journey.
We better get some sustenance.
Ah, allow me.
Hey, uh, do you mind? Oh, sorry.
Is that Zack Casper? [chuckles.]
Oh, yeah.
I thought I recognized that slouch from the cover of Forbes.
Well, I have to go talk to him.
I mean, I'd be stupid not to, right? I never thought of you as stupid.
What's the problem? Oh, I I realized I don't have all your dirty clothes.
[laughs.]
Oh, whoa, whoa.
OK.
[moans, sighs.]
It's so nice to have a man around the house.
And for the record, I still wanna go out to dinner.
[moans, sighs.]
I got a Groupon for Destino.
[sighs.]
[gasps.]
Hi.
Uh, I'm sorry to intrude.
I just You've been a huge inspiration for me and I knew if I didn't say something, I'd regret it.
- What's your name? - Trey Barrett.
The "face to face" app, right? From Murchison's accelerator.
BRB.
Yeah, I I can't believe you've heard of it.
I keep my ear to the ground.
Social's my sphere, after all.
I know.
Convene.
com changed my life.
My parents divorced when I was 12, I was home alone a lot, and going online in your chat rooms, that made me actually feel like I was part of the world outside.
I'm sorry, I don't know why I told you all that.
I It's my business, but it doesn't mean I'm good at it.
- Socializing.
- I'm not very good at it either.
You had no problem approaching me.
Yeah, sometimes, my ambition takes over like cruise control, I just I don't know.
- It's hard to explain.
- What are your ambitions? To change the world.
I was ten when my parents called it quits.
I created Convene so kids could make friends across space and time.
Maybe we ended up creating a generation of people who prefer their virtual lives to their real ones.
I don't think the tools are the problem.
I think we're just using them wrong.
Maybe you're right.
Good luck, Trey.
[sighs.]
[ Yo La Tengo: "Autumn Sweater".]
[all chanting.]
Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael [cheering.]
These are ridiculously cool dudes.
That guy, Ted, offered to teach me Japanese.
- [speaks Japanese.]
- [indistinct shouting.]
Hey, what's up, man? You all right? I feel like such an idiot.
I came here because I thought he Who? [laughs.]
Ohh Yeah.
Cool, man, cool.
Cool.
Hey, dude.
Don't feel stupid.
You're, like, the smartest guy I know.
I'm the one that should feel like an idiot.
I I had no idea how you felt about Michael until Look, man, I'm just saying, I got your back, all right? Whatever you need.
Did that help or did I make it worse? [sighs.]
I think I'd like to go home.
Sure, man.
You got it.
We outtie.
- [rattling.]
- [distant moan.]
[rattling, moaning continue.]
Yeah, Miss Walls.
You wanna do my laundry, Miss Walls? - You betcha.
- Yeah.
It's so dirty.
-It's dirty laundry.
-[grunts.]
[sighing.]
- Yes! Yes! - To experience! [laughs.]
Hey.
Sorry.
Are you hungry? Wanna get out of here? What did you have in mind? I don't know.
Food.
Tacos, maybe.
Anything you want.
- Just the two of us? - Is that crazy? Look who you're talking to.
[up-tempo music playing.]
Don't ask yourself If you're holding back tonight 'Cause this is everybody's chance for romance 'Cause this is everybody's one side romance - [Michael.]
Avinash.
- Meet you at the Mitch Mobile? - Leaving so early? - Yes, I, um Mitchell needs to be somewhere.
Oh.
My mates thought he was great.
You too, for that matter.
They're nice people.
I think you'd have fun getting to know 'em.
Listen you know, I invited you here because I wanted you to see what's possible how good it can be if you just embrace what's there.
- I don't know how.
- Yes.
You do.
There's nothing you can't do.
Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
All right.
- That was off the record, right? - [laughs.]
Hey, I know a revenge fuck when I feel one.
Uh, it wasn't that hot.
- Owww! - [laughs.]
- Respect the crazy.
- All right, yes.
Mad respect.
Jesus, what am I doing here? God, it wasn't that bad.
No, no, I mean this whole trip.
Everything's just gone off the rails.
If things don't work out with Victoria, I'm screwed.
I didn't exactly pack a parachute.
You know, sleeping with me usually gives men confidence.
- [laughs.]
- [phone rings.]
Hello? What the fuck did you say to Zack Casper? We just talked.
I think.
OK.
Well, whatever you said, it was love at first sight.
He's considering a major investment.
I just got off the phone with him.
He told me to cancel the rest of our meetings.
He wants to sit down next week in SF.
Well, what does that mean? It means you won the lottery, kid.
Get ready to change the fucking world.
- To us! Team BRB! - Yeah! - Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag! - Yeah! - Mmm.
- Ah.
Casper's coming up on Friday.
Victoria said he just wants to fly in, settle the terms and fly out.
I guess he's heading to Barcelona to open - another Convene campus.
- That is cool.
Soon as we get that scrill, I'm gonna buy the '89 Winged Eagle championship belt like Hulk Hogan wore.
And, uh, just a lock of whatever hair is left.
- [laughs.]
- Oh, Mitchy, it's so nice to see money hasn't changed you.
I'm gonna get one of those hot air balloons.
Just fly around with my friends and have adventures.
That's cool, bro.
I'd be happy with a regular paycheck.
Yeah, if we could actually keep this quiet until after Brenda marries that backstabbing prick it'd be great.
I just don't want her grubby hands all over my zeppelin.
- You know what I'm gonna buy? - What? - Another round.
- Yay! -I like that.
-Thank you.
Hey.
This is real, right? We can be excited? Yeah.
Yeah, we can be excited.
- [laughs.]
- [phone chimes.]
Oh, can you? Always leave 'em wanting more.
I guess it worked, huh? Shut up.
We need to talk.
Oh.
OK.
What's up? Something about your encounter with Casper got my Spidey-Senses tingling.
I mean, what is America's favorite billionaire doing just hanging out at Zip Manor? Maybe he likes ribeye.
What's your point? I did some digging.
It turns out that Victoria's known Casper for months, if not longer.
She had to have known that he would be at the beach.
So what are you saying? That Victoria didn't bring me there to meet investors? That she brought me there to meet him? This was all part of her plan? Trey, you need to be careful.
This "deal" isn't what it appears to be.
I hope you didn't spend any of that investment money yet.
[rock music plays.]
Try to see the road ahead Don't you know? Don't you know? 'Cause what you see is what you get [man.]
Watch all episodes of Alpha House, starring John Goodman.
- Oh, that'd be great.
- Exclusively on Amazon Prime Instant Video.
Amazing.