Big Nate (2022) s01e10 Episode Script

1
- He's got a belly full of
flies and scales head to toe ♪
Look out, world it's
the "Ludicrous Larry Show" ♪
- [chuckles]
Hey, kids!
[kids cheering]
[laughing]
Ow!
- Aah!
- Kabam!
[chuckles]
- All right!
- I'm Ludicrous Larry!
Let's go!
- [yawns]
- Pay attention, Nate.
- Ahh!
- Ludicrous Larry
has been gracious enough
to invite us to his
scientific discussion today.
So best behavior.
[humming]
- [groans]
The "Ludicrous Larry
the Lizard Show"
has nothing to do with science.
It's a show for babies.
- [cries]
- So why am I here?
Two word: swag bag.
[sniffs]
[gags]
Oh, it smells like that time
Teddy had athlete's foot.
- [scratches]
[television shatters]
- Wow!
- Nate Wright!
- [yelps]
- Drop those marbles!
- [grunts]
- Who's your favorite
lizard? ♪
[together] Larry!
- You will keep
the contents of your swag bag
inside your swag bag!
- [groans]
- Hey, buddy!
- Play with us!
- Play with us!
Yeah!
- Play with us!
- Whoo-hoo!
[mischievous music]
- Yay!
Spin me! Spin me! Spin me!
- You got it!
- Whoo! Whee!
- [whispering] Nate, stop.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Doy-doy-doy-doy ♪
- Oh, no.
- [gasps]
Diggily-diggily-dow ♪
Huh?
- Ahh!
Ludicrous Larry ate a hippie!
- [chuckles]
No, children.
Don't be a--whoa!
Ahh!
- Hmm.
- Ahh!
- That lizard wants to eat us!
[kids screaming]
- Ahh!
- Take him out!
- [groans]
- Children, be--aah!
Help! I've got lizard
deodorant in my eyes!
Lizard deodorant!
Ahh!
Ahh!
- I take it all back.
The "Ludicrous Larry Show"
is awesome!
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- Hey, Wright, my main man!
Whoop-whoop!
[yowls]
[tapping]
both: Butt bros!
[laughter]
- I will never understand
primitive bonding rituals.
- Uh, quick question, Dee Dee.
Why are you dressed
like a mannequin
in a Big and Weird Store?
- Call me Samantha Jade,
private eye.
Drama club is doing
a reimagining
of the famous mystery
novel "The Big Sleep"
from the POV of the bedpan.
[school bell rings]
- Uh, that's the second bell.
We're going to be late
for Home Ec.
- [sighs]
Why do we still
have that class?
How many teachers will we go
through before they realize
the class is cursed?
- Uh, yep.
Teddy's right.
Believe it or not,
teaching Home Ec is the most
dangerous job at PS 38.
- Who wants fresh macaroons ♪
[loud explosion]
Ahh!
- Hope you're hungry
for prune-filled hamantasch.
[loud explosion]
- Ahh!
- Oven mitts are a must.
Safety first!
Ahh!
- Where have you guys been?
- Pfft, dude,
Mrs. Plansky won't care.
- Mrs. Plansky had a
tragic casserole accident.
There's a new teacher.
- New teacher?
[dramatic music]
- [cackles]
- The moment
Detective Samantha Jade
saw the Home Ec teacher,
she knew he was trouble
big trouble.
- Dee Dee!
- [gasps]
- I'm the only one who can have
side monologues.
- My name is Mr. Grey.
Who can tell me
how many chicken cutlets
you need for a party of five?
both: Huh?
- Hmm.
- [clucking]
Chicken wipe!
- Give me my glasses back,
Teddy!
- I'm not letting you hog
all the smarts!
Look at me!
I'm Albert
[loud crash]
Ow! Ow!
- Okay, something is up
with Mr. Grey, right?
Who wears a suit
to teach cooking?
And did you see
the size of his hands?
Those are not the hands
of a domestic goddess.
- Cool your jets, "detective."
He probably won't live out
the week.
[dramatic music]
♪
- [gasps]
- Now, come on.
I want to get
to Galvin's class early.
I brought chocolate-covered
crickets for Sheila.
- Hmm.
[mischievous music]
- Oh, sick.
[books clatter]
[bubbling]
- Mr. Galvin?
Uh, what's going on?
- Orders from the school board.
Because of Larry
the Lizard's freak-out,
children have become
terrified of anything lizard.
- Lizard!
- Lizards are bad!
- Lizards should be in cages,
not our children's arms!
- Burn it down!
[loud explosion]
[crowd screams]
- The school board
feels that lizards
and anything lizard-related
have no place
around the children.
- Are you saying that lizards
have been canceled?
- Well, wait.
What about Sheila?
- [chitters]
- I'm so sorry, children!
Sheila will be gone
by the end of the week!
[groans]
Is that food?
Oh, mmm.
Are these pretzels?
Delicious!
Delicious!
[crickets chittering]
- So gross!
- This is not my fault!
- It kind of is.
- It was your yo-yo shenanigans
that started all this.
Now innocent lizards are being
blamed for something you did.
- Oh, please.
I say we do something
ridiculously
stupid to fix this.
- Yeah, I'm always up
for some boneheaded plan.
both: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle,
wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!
- Gang, mount up.
We got some business
to take care of.
- Business!
Yeah!
[horse whinnies]
[keys jingle]
[lock clicks]
- Teddy, you're up.
- Make like
my abuela's kisses and gum me.
[door creaks]
- Yes!
- Nice!
- Hey, should we leave
the gum in the lock or take it?
- Just leave it, Chad.
Wait, Chad?
- [giggles]
- Bro, where did you come from?
- Well, wasn't I already here?
- There she is.
Let's break Sheila out.
- [snoring]
Oh, yeah.
- I forgot.
Galvin sleeps in his
classroom to avoid his family.
- We're going to get caught.
Let's bail.
- [giggles]
- Chad, what are you doing?
- [chitters]
- Fresh-chewed cricket, Sheila.
Whoa, whoa!
[loud crash]
Aah!
[kids gasp]
- [muttering] Ohh, who's there?
[snores]
Oh, yeah.
- Guys, look.
Sheila is missing.
- [groans]
- Sheila!
[whispers] Sheila.
- Sheila ♪
- Sheila?
Sheila?
- [hisses]
[suspenseful music]
[objects clatter]
[air whipping]
- Wait, where'd she go?
- [hisses]
- Sheila?
- Psst.
Nate, over there.
- [snoring]
Oh, yeah.
- Huh?
[crickets chirping]
Here, Sheila, Sheila.
- [slurps]
- [chirping]
- Argh!
[all gasp]
- Sheila, calm down!
- [farting]
Aah! Aw, that's nasty! Guys!
Help! Oh-ho-ho!
I'm in a Dutch oven of doom!
Ahh!
[door creaks]
After that lizard!
- [chitters]
[upbeat rock music]
[loud crashing]
- [chitters]
[together] No!
[toilet flushes]
Ew!
- Oh, there she is!
Get her!
Get her!
Argh!
- Ew!
- Ugh!
- Split up!
- [panting]
both: Ugh!
- Oh.
- Huh?
[thunder booming]
- Sheila, it's me,
Chad Applewhite,
the one who helps you
chew your food.
[gasps]
- [slurps]
- [gasps]
There you are!
For a second
I thought you were going--
- [chitters]
- Aah!
- [gasps]
The auditorium!
- No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[laughs]
It was Sheila,
her claws tickling me.
I have a very sensitive
muffin top.
[dramatic music]
- [slurping]
- On me.
[music intensifies]
[grunting]
Ahh! Oof!
- Nate, are you okay?
- [groans]
Epic fail.
- Think she got away?
[dramatic music]
- Yeah,
might not have been the plan.
But at least now she's safe.
Be free, my old friend.
[vent shaft creaks]
[siren chirping]
[radio chatter]
[hammer pounding]
All right, everybody just
stay cool until we find out--
- What happened?
- Ugh, Gina, can't you just
say hello like a normal weirdo?
- Um, no.
- So what did happen here?
- Word on the playground,
anti-lizard activists trashed
the school and took Sheila.
- Oh, anti-lizard activists?
Well, that's--
- Awful.
Wow, that is so really bad.
Just, heh, awful.
[mischievous music]
- Hmm.
- Hey, guys.
I'll meet you
at Galvin's class.
- Samantha Jade knew
the skell was in the wind,
but for how long?
All she needed was proof.
The bulls could handle
the rest.
- Miss Holloway
- [gasps]
- Isn't it?
[lips smack]
Bouillabaisse,
French for fish soup.
- [stammers]
F-f-f-fish soup?
- Something wrong
with your tongue?
- No, no.
I, uh,
f-f-f-fish allergy!
Yeah, very bad.
But--but I'll be fine.
Bye!
- [gulping]
- Hey, what'd I miss?
- Ahh!
[whimpering]
- Uh, Mr. Galvin?
Are you okay?
- I just miss my Sheila!
[wailing]
Aah, dah, da-da, dai-yah!
Ai, yah!
- She was one in a million,
even though all lizards
look exactly alike.
- It's just a shame.
I had arranged for Sheila
to go to a local zoo,
because she was pregnant!
- Pregnant?
[kids gasp]
- She was set to lay
her eggs any day.
Four months from now
they would have been hatched.
And I'd be a lizard father.
[wailing] Oh, Sheila!
Oh, Sheila, Sheila,
Sheila, Sheila, Sheila!
- How did we miss
Sheila being pregnant?
- Better question,
how is Sheila pregnant?
She lives alone.
- Could be a lizard miracle.
Happens more often
than you think.
- It is a mystery.
[bright music]
- [chitters]
[bluesy rock music]
- Mmm!
- [pants]
♪
- [chuckles]
- Hey, we did the right thing.
Sheila has time
before her babies hatch.
She'll find a new home.
- Wow, I can't believe
it's been four months.
What have we all been up to?
- I'll tell you
what I've been up to.
Detective Samantha Jade
has done
a deep dive into our
unexploded Home Ec teacher.
I've had eyes on his home
for months.
And as far as I can see,
Grey didn't
exist before coming here.
I mean, come on!
What is he hiding?
- Uh, a love of pleated pants?
- Dee Dee,
it's been four months.
Why are you still in character?
- We're still in rehearsals.
The show was postponed
because Dr. LaGaze
had a "medical emergency."
- Now, give me the
face of an 18-year-old
ingénue or I'll throw a tantrum
that will buckle your knees!
- You guys want more proof?
I pulled it off the web.
He's clearly a hit man!
- Wait, why would a hit man
put himself on the web?
- [stammers]
We need to tell Principal
Nichols there's a felon
teaching in this school.
Something bad
is going to happen.
My character can feel it!
- Don't worry, Dee Dee.
Nothing bad's going to happen.
[foreboding music]
- [chitters]
- [chitters]
[splashes]
- Hmm?
- [chitters]
- Hmm.
[lizards chittering]
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
- Ohh!
- I like to call this technique
Twirly Boots Mic-Stillskin,
because why not?
[lizards chitter]
Did anyone hear something?
[suspenseful music]
[all screaming]
- Principal Nichols,
Mr. Grey talks, dresses,
and behaves like a criminal.
I've prepared
a detailed breakdown
in the janitor's closet.
- Nate Wright, if I find out
this is some kind of trick
Ahh!
- Principal Nichols!
- We're under attack!
[lizards chittering]
Ahh!
- [gasps]
Sheila!
[mischievous music]
Sheila and thousands
of her lizard babies
are in danger because of me.
I am completely to blame
for this.
Really?
No one's going to, like,
jump in and tell me
it's not all my fault,
I'm a good person?
Nothing?
- No, not even a little,
because this whole fiasco
is a classic Nate Wright
special.
- Guys, stop!
Sheila and her babies
are in trouble.
Focus!
Take a look at who's driving
the Pest Control van.
- Ow! Oh! Oh!
- Zeff!
I can still fix this!
Hey, Chad.
How brittle are your bones?
- [whimpers]
- Hmm?
- Ahh!
[loud crash]
Ugh!
- Huh?
- [gasps]
- Oh, man, little bro,
that dent's gonna come out
of my paycheck.
- Sorry, we were rehearsing.
Chad's playing a homing
pigeon and wanted
to learn how to fly.
- I'm a method actor.
- Did something similar
when I raised chinchillas
and wanted to know what it felt
like to be shaved violently.
Answer: not great.
Got bandages in the truck.
[mischievous music]
♪
- Foxtrot, Bravo, Charlie,
Roger Dodger, eeny, meeny,
miny, moe, onomatopoeia.
Dee Dee, we're in position.
Keep yourself occupied
while we search
for Sheila and her babies.
Over and out.
- Just hurry.
I don't know how long
we can stall.
- There you go, buddy.
Be careful next time, okay?
- We need to stall
for more time.
- Okay, sure.
I can do that.
Ahh! Ugh!
- Zeff.
- Coming.
- [hissing]
- Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
These ducts are definitely
not hypoallergenic.
Anyone picking anything up?
- Francis,
there is a wall of something
coming right for you.
- Something?
Something what?
- Don't panic!
I'm on my way!
- Panic? Who's panicking?
Okay, me!
I'm panicking!
[whimpering]
[machine beeping]
[machine whirring]
both: Ahh!
- Ow!
You're sucking out my brain!
Turn it off!
[machine blipping]
- Guys, that thing
is heading right for you!
- [gasps]
There's nothing here, Nate,
unless
[lizards chittering]
both: Ahh!
- Hang on! I'm coming!
[dramatic music]
- [chitters]
[lizards chittering]
- Ahh!
- [groaning]
- Shh.
- [groans]
- Hmm.
- Ahh!
- Nate.
[radio static]
Where are you? Nate.
- All set, little bud.
Think I got all
the bones back in place.
- Uh, Chad,
Nate needs more time.
- [whimpering] Okay.
[ethereal music]
♪
[giggles]
- I'm not sure what you two
are getting up to.
But just the same,
I'm getting my samurai sword
to protect myself.
- No, Zeff.
You don't understand.
Nate and
- Whoa!
Detective Samantha Jade
felt icy dread
moisten her armpits.
Mr. Grey was following her.
- Fan of the
Exterminator too, huh?
- Fan?
He's a killer!
- No, no, no, opposite.
The exterminator
was a legend in this industry.
He practiced the ancient art
of nonlethal pest removal,
no chemicals, just compassion,
and a firm but gentle
sleep grip, like a vise grip
lined with marshmallow fluff.
Yeah.
- Uh, but the name,
the way he looks.
- Can't help how you were born.
For instance,
I have six belly buttons.
- Ugh.
One, two, three, four, five
- Don't forget that one.
- Oh, six.
Hmm.
I was so into character
I tried to get the one person
who could help us fired.
Uh, this Exterminator,
Mr. Grey, what happened to him?
- Disappeared.
I based my whole pest control
career on his teachings.
- But you use poison,
not compassion.
- [chuckles]
I want to make
a living, don't I?
[chuckles]
- Zeff, how would you
like to meet your hero?
- Ahh!
Oof!
[groans]
Ugh.
Where am I?
Uh, Teddy?
Francis?
- [hisses]
[whimpering]
Ahh! Ahh!
Yuck.
- [roars]
- [whimpers]
[gulp]
[dramatic music]
♪
Sh--Sheila?
Hey--hey, Sheila!
It's okay!
It's me, Nate Wright.
Look, I bring you the
chocolate-covered crickets
you love.
Uh, remember?
- [roars]
[lizards chittering]
- Look, I never wanted you
or your babies to get hurt.
I was just trying
to fix what I started.
But you can't give
a kid a swag bag
and expect him not to play
with the swag!
But I should have
owned up to what I did.
Ahh!
- [roars]
[whimpers]
- [roars]
- No, no, no!
Sheila, please.
We're friends, remember?
- [chitters]
- Phew!
- [hissing]
- No!
[gentle flute music]
Huh?
- [chitters]
- Mr. Grey?
[cheerful flute music]
- Don't worry, Sheila.
You're safe and sound.
- Zeff? Zeff?
Zeff!
[scoffs] Do I have to do
everything around here?
- Hands off, amigo!
- You can't gas the school.
Nate's still--
- No, no, no, no,
slow your roll, boys.
I checked the building myself,
and it's as empty
as an art teacher's bank book.
- That's hurtful!
- Anyway, excuse me.
- [chuckles] He's pretty much
begging us to do it.
- Hey, Nichols.
Call it in the air,
heads or tails?
- Ahh!
- So wait, hold on.
Mr. Grey is a Home Ec teacher
and a famous
compassionate exterminator?
I mean, what are the odds?
- Luckily, we were
able to find the signal
your tracker was making.
My villain
was a hero after all.
- [laughing]
[lizards chittering]
[stammering]
Stop that ticklin'.
There's no food in my pants.
- Uh, Principal Nichols?
- [laughs] Children,
I have an announcement.
After getting to know these
incredibly loving creatures,
I have decided that lizards
are no longer canceled.
I'm calling off
the extermination!
[laughter]
- Whoo-hoo!
- [chitters]
[gentle music]
- [slurps]
- Mr. Grey, I was wrong.
You don't have to leave.
- Now that my true identity
is known, they'll look for me.
I'm a threat
to the pest control community
because of my
compassionate ways.
Time to move on.
Thank you, Dee Dee.
- For what?
- For seeing who I truly am.
- [chirps]
- [crunching]
- Hey, you know what?
That actually turned out okay.
Lizards are no longer outlawed.
The zoo ended up taking
all of Sheila's babies.
And heck, we even got
a new Home Ec teacher.
- Today we'll be making
jellied moose nose.
[timer dings]
Now, I've already had
the moose head in the oven
for 45 minutes.
Yup.
[loud explosion]
Ahh!
- Yep, looks like
everything's back to normal.
- Ah, it makes me wish
Mr. Grey was still here.
I wonder where he is now.
[gentle piano music]
♪
[brakes squeal]
- Need a lift?
♪
- [chitters]
[engine revving]
Ahh!
Ugh!
Medic.