Bunheads (2012) s01e10 Episode Script

1 - It's not quite done yet.
- I need to see it.
I was going to put on the finishing touches and then show you later.
This is the finishing touch: My seeing what you've done - with my dance and then swearing a lot.
- Okay fine.
But you need to keep an open mind.
- I always have an open mind.
- Right.
But you need to keep an open mind like other people keep an open mind.
With a mind that's actually, you know, open.
Michelle, how many times have I told you my production - of "The Nutcracker" is the highlight of my year? - 842.
And how many times have I told you that these two weeks of shows - make up the bulk of my money for the year? - 12,064.
- I gave you one dance to choreograph.
- The evil rat dance, yes.
- Mice! - What? - Mice, they're evil mice.
- No difference.
- Big difference.
- Whatever.
Anyhow, it's done and it's great.
I just put my own spin on it is all.
Are they wearing pasties and G-strings? Ahh, see, funny like I made them Vegas stripper rats.
- Mice.
- Whatever.
No, I just moderned it up a bit.
Plus I needed someone to stand in for Clara, since we still don't have a Clara, so there's a temp in there.
Terrific.
You can dictate your resignation letter to her afterwards.
Sa-sha! Okay, make mama look good.
( Music playing ) You get it? The rats are like wall street guys 'cause wall street guys are rats? - I get it.
- Do you like it? I love it.
( Sighs of relief ) - And they're mice.
- Whatever.
( Theme music playing ) Bunheads 1x10 - A Nutcracker in Paradise Original air date August 20, 2012 Opening weekend's sold out.
Nice.
Hot mustard.
Mid-week looks a little slow.
It'll pick up.
Moo shu pork.
Everything's down this year.
Ticket sales, enrollments Hopefully that fundraiser you're organizing The fundraiser at the oyster bar.
The one that you said you'd plan, that you had completely handled.
The one that ( Chuckles ) - I hate you.
- Everything's set menu, decorations, sound system.
I got a weekend at Catalina to raffle off, and I even got Rico to donate the place for free.
Speechless! - You're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you? - Yep.
What would you say to running this place alone? For a while, anyway.
Michael brought up Montana again last night.
He's talked about it on and off for years.
I don't think he's ever been there for more than a few days, but he has this romantic notion about it.
Anyhow, I was thinking since things are going very smoothly around here - Since I've been around.
- I thought maybe Michael and I could get away for a while.
I found this wonderful cabin very rustic, but completely comfortable.
I thought I could surprise him and rent it for a couple, three months.
So romantic.
I'd be happy to take over while you hang in the mountains with your boyfriend.
- Thank you.
- Which one of you is going to be heath ledger? You always end the conversation one sentence too late.
I'm here! ( Bag drops ) - ( Whispers ) Oh no! - What? Oh crap! I forgot all about her.
- Who, the kid? - That's no kid.
- I'm ready! - Okay, good! Ready for what? Whoa holy crap.
Who is she? - The ringer.
- What? When Sasha quit and I couldn't find anyone else I got desperate and I called the ringer.
I had her shipped down from San Francisco.
- What's her name? - I don't know her name.
She's always just been called the ringer.
What am I going to do? - Jiminy Cricket! - She's terrifying.
If Marvel Comics had a crime-fighting ballerina, this ballerina would kick that ballerina's ass.
You're talking.
- No, no one's - She's talking.
I'm watching.
I'm not talking.
I'm not talking! Why don't you take a break for a second? Good luck, cowboy.
Wait! Break's over.
- What is that? - I don't know, but I'm learning to type.
You don't think madame Fanny actually Great.
Very mature.
Hey, what is the what? I'm starving.
- Where do you guys stash the candy bars? - Dancers don't eat candy bars.
Yeah right.
Suzanne Farrell was 60% caramel.
Can we help you with something? I just came up to check the state of the room, make sure it's still pink.
It is.
- What's going on here? - Apparently while I was off making with the pom-poms some sort of blood feud happened and no one seems ready to let it go ( loudly ) no matter how boring it's getting! Huh.
Anything I can help with? Okay, you four, front and center.
Why me? I'm not in a fight.
You need a fourth.
Watch "The Craft.
" Move.
Okay, as the new sort-of-promoted kind-of-equal-not-quite-a-partner-but- definitely-someone with-more-authority-than-she-had-yesterday, I am ordering you to spill.
Boo likes Charlie, Charlie likes Ginny, Melanie says Ginny can't date Charlie because Boo liked him first, but Ginny thinks since Boo likes Carl she relinquishes Charlie, who should revert back to the open market.
And me, I wish we were all lesbians.
Wow, okay, uh Ginny, you like Charlie.
- And he likes me.
- And, Melanie, you think she shouldn't date him? - Boo has dibs.
- So you like him for Boo? - I don't like him for anyone.
- But if Boo wants Carl and is okay with Ginny dating Charlie, could you find a way to possibly to be okay with it at all? The alternative being you might lose a really perky friend.
- I'll deal.
- Really? On the condition that I never have to hear anything about Charlie ever.
Nothing about his hair or his car or his creepy chicken hands.
I promise.
I won't talk to you about Charlie at all.
- Fine.
- Boo? - Charlie doesn't like me.
- Not the point.
- The point is that - I like Carl.
- Yes.
So? - It's fine.
- You dating Charlie is fine.
- Good give.
Now what are you gonna do for her, blondie? - No more short-Carl jokes from either of us.
- What?! We will be completely nice to him and we'll help you get him back.
C'mon! I haven't called him Bilbo Baggins yet! - Michelle: Melanie! - Fine.
Well handled.
Okay, uh, gum wrapper.
Okay, everyone write your name on this very official document and consider the first official Paradise Dance Academy peace accord enacted.
Hear ye, hurrah, strawberry fields forever.
You see what I did there? I Kofi Annan-ed their butts.
Very impressive.
Who's the spinner? Oh wow.
Where did she come from? Oh, I have no idea who that might be.
Huh, that's weird.
- Madame Fanny? - Sasha! Goodness, I didn't hear you come in.
- How are you? - I'm fine.
Who is that? - Who? - Her.
The person dancing nonstop in the middle of the floor.
Oh her.
- Well, that's - Did you call in the ringer? I did! I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do.
- Is she going to be Clara? - No, you are Clara.
Well, is somebody going to tell music-box ballerina over there? Yes, of course.
I mean, it's too late to send her back now.
Arrangements have been made.
She'll be here at least a week.
I'll just give her a different role.
I wonder how she'll feel about that.
I don't know.
Do machines feel? - You tell her! - What? Yes! As part of your punishment, you have to go over there - and tell her she's not playing Clara.
- Are you afraid of her? No, I'm not afraid of her.
This is a life lesson.
Your behavior got us into this situation, so your behavior should get us out of it.
- Fine.
- Wait! Go! Hey.
I'm Sasha.
Wow, your shoes should be red.
I wrap my feet in cellophane so the blood doesn't soak through.
No, I didn't mean like never mind.
So there's been a little mistake.
You were called down here to To play Clara? I know.
I'm ready.
Yeah well, you were supposed to replace me, but now I'm back, so you don't need to.
- Anymore.
- Replace you? - Yeah.
- Where were you? - To do what? - To be a cheerleader.
Oh! Yeah, so thanks for coming, - but bye! - You know, I've seen your kind before.
You get into ballet for the tutus.
I did not get into ballet for the tutus.
But then you get older and suddenly there's boys and clothes and cheerleading.
Yeah well, whatever, I'm here now, - so I'm not going anywhere.
- We'll see.
Look, madame Fanny said she'd give you another part to play if you could you stop dancing for one freaking moment?! I'll stop dancing.
I'll stop dancing after I take my bow in "The Nutcracker" as Clara.
Hey, Rico, your place looks great.
Yeah, there's a lot of freaking people in here.
- I know.
Great turnout.
- I mean they're everywhere.
- They're using the bathrooms.
- That was part of the ticket price - food, drinks, working toilets.
- But how long are they going to stay? - The party's till 10:00.
- 10:00? That's like four hours from now.
- Who agreed to this? - You did! Oh, what the frak! - Are you paying me a lot? - You donated the place.
- Yeah, that sounds like me.
- Have a drink.
It will all look better after a drink.
China, set him up good.
- You got it.
- Ginny: Thanks so much for coming.
Melanie: See you at the show! Okay, whose gross hand do we have to shake next? I say we wait a few minutes and let the four different kinds of bird flu sink into our pores before we go for the malaria-ebola trifecta.
- I want to live in a bubble.
- Hey, don't look too closely, - but old man Purdee left his fly unzipped again.
- Ugh, I know.
- I was looking for Carl.
- I think I saw him under the sink.
- Melanie, wrapper! - That wasn't a short joke.
He was literally under the sink.
He must've dropped something.
I didn't say he was living under the sink, God.
Stop following me.
I'm not Justin Bieber! Who? - Seriously? - What if something happens? What if you get abducted by aliens? What if some guy grabs you on the sidewalk and throws you in the back of a van? - Then I'd hope you'd call the police.
- Of course.
After rehearsal.
- Hey, Carl! - Hey.
- So many people here tonight.
- Love those boots.
- Digging the hat.
- Okay? - You have any plans for the summer? - Camp.
- S'mores! - Awesome.
Yeah, I'm going to go now.
Okay.
Bye, Carl.
You're way taller than prince.
- That was hard.
- I think I actually pulled something.
What? Did the pizza bites finally come out? What are they doing here, Ginny? I mentioned the fundraiser to Charlie in one of our texts.
I didn't know you two were texting.
We agreed I wasn't going to talk about Charlie to you.
Gum wrapper, remember? Hey, Ginny, you look cute.
Who's the dude you're with? Very funny.
It's nice you bring your wife everywhere.
You wanna maybe go somewhere where the scenery is less revolting? - Um, sure.
- Cool.
Later.
I have to hand it to her, Michelle really came through.
- Look at all these people.
- You mean look at all of these walking dollar signs.
Oh, Michael but yes.
( Laughs ) So I don't want to say I totally delivered, but - But what? - You're supposed to say "you totally did.
" I am? I'm supposed to say "totally"? - I don't think so.
- Why won't she give me my props? Just five minutes ago she was saying that you really came through.
- You're kidding.
- Don't tell her that.
- Wait, what else did she say? - She said that you were going to be over here fishing for compliments, but I said that you were too good for that.
Never mind.
( Both laughing ) Be right back.
Don't do it.
The answer's never in a citrus slice.
Have a shot instead.
I'm an idiot.
Put that comment into context before I form a response.
I totally blew it with Carl.
I didn't even realize I liked him until he was gone.
Well, he didn't go far.
He's over there.
Might as well be in Singapore, he's never coming near me again.
- You hurt his feelings, Boo.
- I know.
You did the damage, now you have to make it right.
So get up and go make it right.
- What did you do? - Just spreading the Yoda around.
Oh my God.
- Is this on? - Try the veal! - What? - Never mind.
Go on.
Yay, Boo.
( Crowd cheering ) Thank you.
Um, I'd like to take this opportunity to say something here in front of a lot of people.
It's humiliating and I deserve to be humiliated.
- Wow, this kid should be a nun.
- Carl? I like you.
You're great and I think you're hot.
- Never mind.
- And I am such a dope, a big stupid slobbering moron.
- This was your advice? - I didn't write it out for her.
I know tonight isn't about you and me not that there is a you and me.
But if there was a you and me, tonight would definitely not be the night to discuss it, here, - or any public place probably.
- Get in there and save her.
- I'm going.
- But you put it all out there for me once and now it's my turn.
( "Rainbow Connection" playing ) You're amazing and you liked me.
And I was lucky and I didn't realize that.
And I was stupid and I'm sorry - and I will be sorry forever.
- Sit.
- Sitting.
- I don't expect you to forgive me, but if you ever decided that you want ginger around again, I'm here, Fred.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Wow.
You talked about me like I'm Ryan Gosling.
Well, that's how I feel, so Should we take that dance? someday we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers and me Yeah, I'm still more Fred Armisen than Fred Astaire.
I don't think so.
We know that it's probably magic - This is gonna to suck.
- I'm counting on it.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors? the voice might be one and the same I've heard it too many times to ignore it there's something that I'm supposed to be ( Glass shatters ) someday we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers, the dreamers and me That was very impressive.
Got my props! God, this thing won't end.
What time is it? 9:15.
Someone's suddenly crabby.
- I'm tired.
- You're never tired.
- Montana was for him, not us.
- What? All that talk about Montana was just for him.
It had nothing to do with me.
He bought a piece of land there, already paid for it.
He's going to build a house.
What a man who's only lived in hotels his entire adult life knows about building a house is beyond me, but there it is.
Did you tell him about the cabin? - The cabin doesn't matter now.
- But did you talk to him? Does he understand how you feel? All these years he's never owned a house, a car.
He even rented his tux to play for gigs said he didn't want to have "things.
" Now he wants "things.
" Things in Montana.
Oh, Fanny.
Well, there's nothing I can do about it.
I have guests here.
I have the school to think about.
- But - I'm going to make the rounds.
So should we date? - What?! - Well hell freezes over, I'd buy a sweater.
I do not date you.
Hey, I don't want to date you either.
I just thought, with Charlie dating Ginny, don't we have to, too? Oh my God.
It's just easier! There's only so much room in the car! - I'm leaving.
- Oh, is it late? What time is it? It's half past I'm-not-sitting-at-that- table-with-that-loser-anymore.
- Bye.
- Wait, I'll come with you! - No! - I have to go.
- Really? - Yeah, she anyhow.
It was really nice that you came tonight.
Uh, sure, so - Ow! - Are you okay? - Crap, I'm bleeding! - I think that's my blood actually.
- My lip is split.
- I'm sorry.
Can I see? No no, I'm fine.
I'll see you later.
Let's bail.
- Michael.
- You are intelligent, very thin and you have excellent hair.
Can I talk to you a sec? That sounds serious.
Should I order another drink? - It's about Montana.
- What do you know about Montana? - I know you bought some land there.
- Five acres, not a lot, but enough to build a house and maybe a recording studio out back.
- Sounds like it's going to be great.
- One snowstorm and we could be talking about the last 15 minutes of "The Shining.
" But I'm hoping for the best.
And Fanny? - What about Fanny? - Does she get to be your Shelley Duvall? Does she want to be my Shelley Duvall? - Well, I didn't actually mean - Did you see "The Shining"? - I was trying to be thematic.
- He comes after her with an axe! Forget Shelley Duvall.
It's just in the past, when you talked about Montana, Fanny was under the impression that it was for both of you.
Fanny in Montana? Come on.
No, I'm serious.
She actually went out and found a cabin to rent for the two of you this summer.
I was going to take over the dance studio.
She was going to surprise you.
Well I'm surprised.
I think she figured since you weren't going to be on the road so much, that you guys could finally really be together.
I know this is none of my business but I thought you should know.
Fanny's so stubborn.
- I understand.
- You do? - And I appreciate the information.
- Good.
Okay good.
Can I buy you a drink? All the proceeds go to keeping ballerinas in bunion pads.
Sure.
You order.
I'm going to go make a call.
Cellphone service in here's not so good.
- Okay.
China, two more! - Sure thing.
- Hey! - Whoa.
Sorry.
- That's my hiding place.
- Who are you hiding from? - The toe-shoe terminator.
- Who? Crazy chick wants my part in "The Nutcracker.
" She's mental, she's lethal and she's pirouetting around here somewhere.
- Hey, I know you.
- No.
- You're on the cheerleading squad.
- Oh yeah, I was.
I'm Tyler.
I'm on the basketball team.
- I've seen you at games.
- Ah well, hell of a season you're having.
- We're 0 and 12.
- Consistency is everything.
So you're not cheering anymore? As soon as I realized "victory" and their first names were all they could actually spell, I was outta there.
- Not your crowd? - Not at all.
- Well, I should get back to work.
- Bye.
See you.
- Wait! - Yeah? - You mind? - Oh.
Sure.
- "In-a-gadda-da-vida"? - "Wake me up before you go-go.
" Oh, so close.
- Same shorts.
New shirt? - Same shirt.
Inside out.
- Wow, very Kate Middleton.
- She is my primary role model.
- Why are you hanging out at this thing? - I thought you'd be here.
Straight to the point.
No fancy coy talk, no clever banter.
I'm going to Australia next week so I gotta move things along.
- What are you going to do in Australia? - Don't know.
- How long are you gonna be there? - Not a clue.
- You ever put a shrimp on the Barbie? - Once, but it was on an actual girl named Barbie.
- I don't think I want a further explanation.
- Good.
I don't know if this is the night for this.
Or maybe I'm wrong.
( Music playing ) ( Music stops ) Oh my God, stop! I give! - What? - That is the most boring duet in the history of duets.
I have never been able to stand it, ever.
It just goes on and on with that annoying monotonous music.
I can't do it.
It's cut.
I'm cutting it out of the ballet.
And the dance world hoists me up on their shoulders.
- What about my solo? - Oh.
Right.
Do the "Chinese Dance.
" Stop single-white-female-ing me! I don't know what that means.
- It's a movie.
- A cheerleader and a moviegoer.
And then Charlie bent down as I went up and of course you can guess what happened bang! Total collision.
- Ginny.
- What? Did you hear? I'm sorry.
I wasn't telling you.
I was telling Matisse.
- Yeah, I need to get to the rosin.
- Oh sorry.
- Good? - Terrific.
( Whispering ) The bottom line is he would have kissed me.
I hope his teeth are okay.
They seemed really strong.
They actually left a mark here in my scalp.
See? Is it still there? That Boo is good.
She is good.
Have you ever put ground glass in your rival's toe shoe? - No.
- Huh.
( Music playing ) ( Music stops ) Well, it's official.
The only thing more boring than the "Arabian Dance" is the "Chinese Dance.
" It's cut.
Out of the ballet.
- What can you do that's not going to put me to sleep? - The "Spanish Dance"? Doesn't sound promising, but sure, do that.
Boo! Tiny fan please.
Is everything okay, madame Fanny? In what sense? You seem like you're in a bad mood.
My mood is fine! Really?! Maybe it's too soon to think about prom since it's still a couple years off, but forming a perfect prom-night potential-sex contingency plan takes time.
It's a delicate matter.
Now assuming we haven't consummated the relationship yet, a gentle but definitive "no" message has to be delivered in a way that doesn't make him feel like less of a man.
However, if the deed has been done already, then you have to make sure he doesn't take you to a cheap dump just because you've already given it up.
- You know I'm only 12, right? - Oh.
Yeah, so this whole talk is completely inappropriate.
- Sorry.
Did you hear? - It's fine.
No, I promised not to talk about the person I'm not supposed to talk about, so I'm not going to talk about that person.
( Chatting ) - I think I'm going to walk home.
- Ginny.
As soon as the guys are done you can open the house.
How is it? Fixed? Perfect, that's all I want to hear.
- Okay, just don't sweat and you'll be fine.
- Girl: Thank you.
- Place looks great.
- The air conditioners are being difficult.
- The guys will fix it.
- I'm too old for this crap.
- Yes, you are.
- What does that mean? It means you need to sit down and let me fix your lashes.
My lashes? What's wrong with my lashes? My God.
My lashes are crooked.
I've been walking around with my lashes completely crooked for an hour - and no one says a thing.
- Yes, where's a nice drag queen when you need one? Sit.
- Okay.
- My God.
Are you fleeing the country after the show? It's my zombie-apocalypse Vegas slut bag.
I take it to every performance with me always.
It has everything you would need in any sort of situation money, power bars, water, flaxseed oil, bobby pins, hair spray, ponytail holders, boob tape so your on your boobs, don't look so, hello! - I know what boob tape does.
- Condoms, handcuffs, handcuff keys.
- You're like an X-rated Mary Poppins.
- Then of course band-aids, ace bandage, rape whistle, disposable cellphone, lipstick case you can hide some cyanide in, pretty Mace.
- Pretty Mace? - Yep, Mace that comes in a pretty little shiny bottle that if I pulled it out, would say to the zombie apocalypse mugger, "don't" be afraid of my pretty shiny bottle.
It won't do anything but blind you!" - Good Lord.
- Oh and here, eyelash glue.
And junior mints.
- 'Cause seriously, why not? - Fix my lashes before you go back into that bag again.
Lean back.
There.
Now just sit quiet while I recite the contents of my "following U2, where the streets have no name, I love you Bono" bag.
Bye-bye.
I'm opening the house! 15 minutes to curtain! Fanny! The show's going to be great.
- How are you? - Fine.
And you? Fine.
I hope you don't mess up our trio tonight.
- I won't.
- You don't jump on three.
You jump on four.
- I know.
- There's a difference between knowing and doing.
How about this: I promise to jump on four if you promise to bite me on three? - Very constructive.
- I'm nothing if not helpful.
- Do whatever you want.
- I want to just screw the whole dance up for you and everyone.
- Fine.
- Great.
The truce is off.
Trash the wrapper.
Look who's wearing the bow now.
I do believe it's me.
At least I have a name.
You ruined everything with Charlie! I what? You are actually the one who flew over the cuckoo's nest.
You know that? Dating is all about timing.
I was so worried about you I ruined my timing.
Comedy is about timing.
Dating is about uttering a syllable - when you're with the stupid guy.
- You're a jerk.
And you're acting like a total baby.
In dating years you're in second grade.
Who are you to talk about dating? Who have you ever dated except your cousin? He wasn't my cousin! I only called his mom aunt because we're close! Whatever.
All I know is he's awfully tall.
( Applause ) Hey, lights are going down.
Places now! ( Music playing ) - How's it going out there? - The air conditioning's not working.
- It must smell great.
Who needs a spray? - I do.
Everyone, line up, line up.
All right, okay - ( Groans ) Crap.
- I have to go back on! Chill, Clara.
I have more in here.
Okay, got it.
( Shrieking ) What? What ( shrieks ) Melanie: What the hell is it? - Oh my God! - Ginny: My eyes are melting! - This isn't hairspray, it's Mace.
- You maced us?! - I maced you.
- Why, why would you do that? - It was an accident.
- Ahh, that's my music! - Where's the stage? - There there.
- Boo! - Here! - Need a specific up, down, right, left.
- Here.
- Here.
- Ahhh! I found you.
Uhhh ahhh ahhh.
( Moaning ) Water, I've got water.
Everyone, try to get your face in front of the flying water! - Sasha: Help me! - Sasha.
- Michelle? - Sasha! - Marco? - Polo! - Marco? - Polo! Ohhh, crap.
Okay, lemme try and find something.
I told you I'd be Clara.
( Dancers clamoring ) ( Audience clamoring ) ( Sirens approaching ) ( Chattering ) - How are your eyes? - The left one's back.
- Michelle: Ray Ray, Stephanie.
- That's good.
- Girl: Over here.
- Matisse? - I hate Charlie.
- Right here.
- Michelle: Katrina? Katrina? - Me too.
- I'm here.
- Stephanie, Stephanie? - Yeah? - Anna Maria, Anna Maria, Anna Maria? - We don't have an Anna Maria.
- We don't? - No.
- Who's the girl I call Anna Maria? - Casey.
- Oh.
Casey! - Here.
- Hey, kid, you can't go four months letting someone call you Anna Maria.
A little life tip for you.
- You're Michelle? - Yes, how are the kids? We flushed their eyes, gave them ice, everyone will be fine.
- I just need to check you out.
- Not now, I'm busy.
- Angel! - Yeah? - I need to check you out now, please.
- Look, lady, I'm not gonna leave this hallway, okay? I'm the one who maced these kids and I am going to be here until every last one of them is I'm talking to a piece of cardboard, right? - Yep.
- After you.
Hey.
I know you.
- Yeah? - You're on the basketball team.
Was on the basketball team.
What happened? You dribble right, you dribble left, you dribble right, you dribble left that's a lot of dribbling without having some sort of stroke.
- I hear you.
- I'm Roman.
- I thought your name was Tyler.
- Roman's my middle name.
- It works better with the hair.
- That's the thought process.
- So what are you in for? - Mosh pit got a little too intense.
- What about you? - My ballet teacher maced us - during a production of "The Nutcracker.
" - Wow! - Maybe I should be taking ballet.
- It's rougher than you think.
- Apparently.
- So this look new? - Fairly recent.
- No more Varsity Joe? I think we have officially parted ways.
- You're Sasha, right? - Yeah.
My middle name's Henrietta, so Sasha it is.
- There you are.
- Family? - Sort of.
- I guess.
- Daughter-in-law for a minute or so.
- Mother-in-law for a minute.
- Landlord now.
- Don't know what that makes me now.
Whatever.
Come on in.
I'll be right back.
You'll be okay? - No.
- Attagirl! - So how are you? - Face hurts.
Yes.
Large doses of self-inflicted pepper spray will do that to a person.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
You maced my entire production of "The Nutcracker.
" I don't think I got everyone.
No, you did.
It was a clean sweep.
Nailed every last dewdrop.
- I'm really sorry.
- You know I had to cancel the shows.
Two whole weeks, canceled.
- I'm - You're sorry? Yes, I heard.
Do you know how bad this is? I will be lucky if these parents don't drag me into court and have me flogged.
They don't flog people in California.
- You're a lawyer? You know the law? - I know they don't flog.
Well, I don't know that.
I'm not as wise and worldly as you are.
I didn't live in Vegas and date gangsters.
I just tried to teach ballet to a bunch of kids the same kids who are sitting out in the hallway of this hospital.
I should've known something like this would happen.
- Why? 'Cause I was involved? - Bad luck was in the air.
When I got up this morning and Michael was gone just like that, - it was a sign.
- Michael's gone? - Yes.
- Why would he go? I explained everything to him.
What are you talking about? I told him about the cabin, about what you thought Montana was going to be you and him being together finally.
- Why would you do that? - I was trying to help.
- Help who, me? - Fanny, you don't explain to a man you want to be with him permanently, of course he goes and buys a place for himself.
And you know all this based on what? Your perfect relationship record? - I - 30 years I've been with this man.
For 30 years he's felt free, unencumbered.
He's been able to live the exact life he wanted and we were happy.
- You never saw each other.
- Even when I asked him to hang around a little longer he knew I wasn't trying to change him or tie him down.
And then you, with your extraordinarily big mouth, you drive him away in one day.
What is wrong with you? You don't know me well enough by now to know that if I wanted him to know about the cabin and my plans and what I expected to happen, I would've told him myself? You are the bad luck! Ever since you got here, ever since Hubbell I have to go outside and deal with the parents.
You should probably stay in here a little while longer.
( Street noise, door closes ) Hi, I'm Michelle Simms.
( Music playing ) Maybe this time I'll be lucky maybe this time he'll stay maybe this time for the first time love won't hurry away he will hold me fast I'll be home at last not a loser anymore like the last time and the time before everybody loves a winner so nobody loves me lady peaceful lady happy that's what I long to be all the odds are in my favor something's bound to begin it's gotta happen happen sometime maybe this time I'll win Hello? What did you think? Wow.
Hey.
Where have you been? Oh, I've been around.
( Traffic noise stops ) Everything looks so different now.
No, nothing's different.
Everything's exactly where it was when you left.
I've tried really hard not to rock the boat.
You're here to rock the boat.
You know, she always wanted me to dance.
( Laughs ) Oh, what I would've given for a picture of that.
Yeah.
She would've liked a girl.
Hubbell? - They're broken.
- I just wanted to see the frogs.
I'm doing it again.
I'm ruining everything.
- You can fix it.
- I don't even know that I'm doing it.
I need glue.
You're my glue.
- These four are fine.
- I was supposed to take care of them.
I was supposed to help them.
I was supposed to be better for them.
I don't want them to be like me.
You should look around.
Everything is different.
- I miss you.
- It's funny when things happen.
Hubbell, tell me something.
What? Would it have worked? Would I have stayed? P.
A.
: Dr.
Freedman, dial 3996.
Social services, call the fourth floor nurses' station.
- Man: Gone, Fanny, she's gone! - Fanny: I know you're all upset.
Man: I'm not upset.
I love picking my kid up from the emergency room.
Woman: That woman is never around our children ever again.
Man: She's unstable.
The other night in the oyster bar, she had sex with that bartender at the party.
Man 2: Who cares what she did at the bar? Man: I care what she did at the bar.
I eat brunch there on Sundays.
- Fanny: Everyone needs to calm down.
- Woman: She maced our kids! - Sprayed pepper spray in their faces.
- Doctor: Hey, you need to move.
- We have to work here.
- Fanny: Please, let's just talk outside.
- Man: She's gone, Fanny! - Woman: Exactly.
"O Captain, my Captain!" "O Captain, my Captain!" Both: "O Captain, my Captain!" I don't know what that means.
- Just get up.
- I don't watch cable.
You know that at the end of the movie the guy had to leave anyhow, right? Thank you, boys.
Thank you, girls.
Thank you.