Die Hart (2020) s01e10 Episode Script
True Lies
Why didn't you say you love me back?
Uh I don't know.
We're j we're just kind
of getting to know each other,
and
Any last words before
I blow your brains out?
Don't shoot me, okay?
You ain't got to do this.
You ain't got to do this, man.
Yeah.
Just let me
Why are you doing that?
Cut it out!
Stop it!
You look at me when I kill you.
Look at me!
I know that there's nothing up there.
Ah! Shit.
Ah!
Ah Ah!
Go home.
I'm sure there's a real hero somewhere
in need of a goofy sidekick.
Well, you're not alone
anymore.
I've got you, I promise.
Kevin!
Focus.
I owe you one.
It's a simple jump.
Three, two, one.
Yes.
Hey.
Hey, come on. Jordan, no.
Come on, get up, get up. Jordan, no.
Look at me, look at me.
No. Don't you die, don't you die.
I'm not gonna let you die.
Come on, Jordan, you c
you can't, you can't die, not
Come on, Jordan, get up.
Don't d
Jordan! Jordan!
I jumped. I got over here.
Jordan?
I fucking jumped.
I fucking jumped.
I fucking
Breathe.
Bravo. It's a wrap, everybody.
Bravo.
The fuck ?
A wrap?
Agent Hart!
Coach Ron?
Yeah!
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
The fuck is happening?
Hey, man, it was good working with you.
No hard feelings, man. Sorry.
Hi.
Oh, no. Come on, Jordan.
This was a part of it, too?
Yeah. Sorry, Kevin.
Jordan.
But I really thought that I lost you.
- Oh, Kevin.
- No
Well, I guess I'm
glad that you're alive.
Well, movie magic.
- Very good.
- Movie magic.
Very good.
Jordan, no.
Come on, get up, get up.
Jordan, you can't do this. Don't die.
Come on, Jordan, get up.
Don't d Jordan!
Jordan!
I did it, I jumped. I got over here.
Jordan? I fucking jumped.
I fucking jumped.
Well?
That may be the strangest
movie I've ever seen.
So bizarre and and violent.
And yet
authentic.
You can't teach acting like that.
- So you liked it?
- Like it?
I like kidney-shaped swimming pools.
I like reduced-fat eggnog.
This movie, I loved.
He loves it.
How does it feel to be a leading man
in your own action movie?
- Wow.
- Kevin.
- Please.
- Oh, the center stage.
Uh
No, stop, stop. Guys.
Well, I learned two things.
The first thing is that it's dangerous.
It's dangerous as hell.
I mean, I was set on fire,
I was hit in the head with a bat
punched, kicked.
- I'm really gonna be scarred.
- That was f
No, I'm serious I don't know
why you're laughing.
I'm being very serious.
I'm gonna have real issues
because of this guy right here.
- Fuck yeah!
- It's no
It's not a "fuck yeah."
It's it's a serious thing.
The second thing that
I learned is that, uh
there's no such
thing as a leading man.
Because you're nothing
without your costars.
And I had that in in you
guys, so thank you Come on.
Get up here. Seriously.
- Get up here.
- Buddy.
Take this in. Take it in with me.
Wait, wait. Do I get top billing?
Yeah. You have top billing.
Nice. I didn't I forgot to ask.
- Well, I think it's time to celebrate.
- Yes!
Looks like we've got a hit on our hands.
- Claude. Congratulations.
- Yeah, yeah.
Hey. Congratulations, everybody.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a real treat for you today.
Okay wait, wait, wait,
wait, easy with the spoilers.
This requires a little dramatic buildup.
Okay. Here it is.
Now you know that I'm not a big fan
of these high-budget action films.
Here she goes again, with her
love of fancy foreign films.
I have discerning taste.
This is my buildup.
- This is what you requested.
- Continue.
This movie by Claude
Van De Velde moved me.
- I got to say.
- It's an incredible film.
- And
- I've seen it 27 times.
Team Van De Velde right here.
The hero of this movie
is not the action star
that you would expect.
The one that really saves the day.
Well, we have him here today.
Ladies and gentlemen
Sassy the Squirrel.
Aw, Sassy
Oh, you're a lot bigger in person.
Oh, hell no.
Uh I don't know.
We're j we're just kind
of getting to know each other,
and
Any last words before
I blow your brains out?
Don't shoot me, okay?
You ain't got to do this.
You ain't got to do this, man.
Yeah.
Just let me
Why are you doing that?
Cut it out!
Stop it!
You look at me when I kill you.
Look at me!
I know that there's nothing up there.
Ah! Shit.
Ah!
Ah Ah!
Go home.
I'm sure there's a real hero somewhere
in need of a goofy sidekick.
Well, you're not alone
anymore.
I've got you, I promise.
Kevin!
Focus.
I owe you one.
It's a simple jump.
Three, two, one.
Yes.
Hey.
Hey, come on. Jordan, no.
Come on, get up, get up. Jordan, no.
Look at me, look at me.
No. Don't you die, don't you die.
I'm not gonna let you die.
Come on, Jordan, you c
you can't, you can't die, not
Come on, Jordan, get up.
Don't d
Jordan! Jordan!
I jumped. I got over here.
Jordan?
I fucking jumped.
I fucking jumped.
I fucking
Breathe.
Bravo. It's a wrap, everybody.
Bravo.
The fuck ?
A wrap?
Agent Hart!
Coach Ron?
Yeah!
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
The fuck is happening?
Hey, man, it was good working with you.
No hard feelings, man. Sorry.
Hi.
Oh, no. Come on, Jordan.
This was a part of it, too?
Yeah. Sorry, Kevin.
Jordan.
But I really thought that I lost you.
- Oh, Kevin.
- No
Well, I guess I'm
glad that you're alive.
Well, movie magic.
- Very good.
- Movie magic.
Very good.
Jordan, no.
Come on, get up, get up.
Jordan, you can't do this. Don't die.
Come on, Jordan, get up.
Don't d Jordan!
Jordan!
I did it, I jumped. I got over here.
Jordan? I fucking jumped.
I fucking jumped.
Well?
That may be the strangest
movie I've ever seen.
So bizarre and and violent.
And yet
authentic.
You can't teach acting like that.
- So you liked it?
- Like it?
I like kidney-shaped swimming pools.
I like reduced-fat eggnog.
This movie, I loved.
He loves it.
How does it feel to be a leading man
in your own action movie?
- Wow.
- Kevin.
- Please.
- Oh, the center stage.
Uh
No, stop, stop. Guys.
Well, I learned two things.
The first thing is that it's dangerous.
It's dangerous as hell.
I mean, I was set on fire,
I was hit in the head with a bat
punched, kicked.
- I'm really gonna be scarred.
- That was f
No, I'm serious I don't know
why you're laughing.
I'm being very serious.
I'm gonna have real issues
because of this guy right here.
- Fuck yeah!
- It's no
It's not a "fuck yeah."
It's it's a serious thing.
The second thing that
I learned is that, uh
there's no such
thing as a leading man.
Because you're nothing
without your costars.
And I had that in in you
guys, so thank you Come on.
Get up here. Seriously.
- Get up here.
- Buddy.
Take this in. Take it in with me.
Wait, wait. Do I get top billing?
Yeah. You have top billing.
Nice. I didn't I forgot to ask.
- Well, I think it's time to celebrate.
- Yes!
Looks like we've got a hit on our hands.
- Claude. Congratulations.
- Yeah, yeah.
Hey. Congratulations, everybody.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a real treat for you today.
Okay wait, wait, wait,
wait, easy with the spoilers.
This requires a little dramatic buildup.
Okay. Here it is.
Now you know that I'm not a big fan
of these high-budget action films.
Here she goes again, with her
love of fancy foreign films.
I have discerning taste.
This is my buildup.
- This is what you requested.
- Continue.
This movie by Claude
Van De Velde moved me.
- I got to say.
- It's an incredible film.
- And
- I've seen it 27 times.
Team Van De Velde right here.
The hero of this movie
is not the action star
that you would expect.
The one that really saves the day.
Well, we have him here today.
Ladies and gentlemen
Sassy the Squirrel.
Aw, Sassy
Oh, you're a lot bigger in person.
Oh, hell no.