Eureka s01e10 Episode Script

Henry? Jack.
Somebody's been busy.
What do you think? What should I think? That the residents of Eureka are going to have the clearest, most secure cellular satellite Wi-Fi communications system in the world.
Just what I was going to say.
I knew that.
See, I knew that.
Oh, wait a minute, it's late.
Aren't you supposed to be watching the game? I was.
Fargo called.
Wagner again.
I don't know.
I get all the conductors confused.
Composers.
I rest my case.
Have a good one.
Yeah, you, too.
I love the smell of pesticide in the morning.
Smells like grant renewal.
Biopharmacology is just a fancy word for gardening! That tears it.
Oops.
My bad.
Trespassing is a crime, Fargo.
Now we'll see who the criminal is.
Sheriff, finally! Fargo.
You smell like fertilizer.
He sprayed me with that death machine.
God knows what's in this stuff.
You called him a gardener again, didn't you? The point is I can't take the music anymore.
He plays it day and night.
Did you try asking him nicely to turn it down? I can't talk to that man.
He's completely irrational.
No idea what that's like.
People do not appreciate my role here.
I'm the grease on the cogs that turn the gears in this machine that is Eureka! Let's go! Well, I'm sure you did a great job in the last town you worked in America, Fargo.
I was a US Marshal.
America was my last town.
My point is the foundation of scientific exploration in no small part depends on me getting the proper amount of sleep.
I'm the grease Grease.
Yeah.
I got it.
Sheriff, I didn't hear you come up.
Can't imagine why, Seth.
Yeah.
Sorry.
But my night-blooming necrosomnium violacea just can't get enough.
Yeah, well, I've had enough.
Well that makes two of us, half-pint.
You calling me short? If the corrective shoe fits, tiny.
Enough! Both of you, please.
Guys, now my beer is warm.
My steak is cold and I have half a football game to get back to.
Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Not to bother you again.
Exactly.
You, go on home and, for God's sakes, take a shower.
You, no serenading your plants after 6:00 p.
m.
, got it? But No buts! If I have to come back, I'm bringing a stun gun and a weed whacker.
You got it? Good.
Oh, this was unexpected.
You said Kevin was at his grandparents.
It's not often you get a night off.
No, it was nice.
I'm just You know, it's been a long time since you've done something spontaneous.
You know, I was thinking, maybe we should revise our timetable on sampling the artifact.
Okay.
Seeing that I know virtually nothing about it, what are you asking? Well, we saw what even brief exposure can do.
I mean, Dr.
Carlson evolved beyond anything we've ever seen.
I don't know, Nathan.
We still don't have a handle on what we're dealing with.
Which is why we need a physical sample to study.
That's a huge risk.
A calculated risk, but we will need to revise the safety protocols.
I should've known.
What? That this wasn't just dinner.
That you had an agenda and I actually thought that maybe Forget it.
Well, it's important, Allison.
I know it's important.
It's always more important.
And I'm tired of being the one who has to say no.
Allie No.
Welcome back, Sheriff Carter.
Hey, SARAH, who's winning? Michigan State, up by a touchdown.
What? How'd that happen? Watch the rush! No fumble! Fighting Irish, my ass.
Jackson might as well be handing them the ball.
He's green.
You just got to give him a little Was that my steak? It was getting cold.
And before you have a coronary, that's ginger ale.
Your beer is in the fridge.
No, not for long.
Way ahead of you, Sheriff.
So, what was the emergency? Lovers' quarrel.
I handled it.
Come on! Go! Go! Go! Warren, tonight we sleep like kings.
Oh, it's on now.
Music to my ears.
What the hell are you doing? Taking back the night.
Fargo, I'm going to change your religion.
Oh, crap! Oh.
Allison Blake.
I don't want to talk about this now, Nathan.
No, it's just way too early to argue.
Huh? Oh, I must have overslept, okay? Look, I don't know.
When I feel like it! Morning, Henry.
Oh, hey.
I thought you finished it yesterday.
I didn't realize I was on a deadline.
Oh, no.
No, no.
Just making conversation.
How does it work, anyway? It It just does.
God, do I really have to explain everything? No.
Feeling okay? Fine.
Just tired.
Well, I'll let you get back to it.
Thank you.
What's up? Hey.
You notice people acting a little weird? No.
You look nice.
Doing something new with your hair? Oh, yeah.
I didn't feel like putting it up today.
No law against that, right? Right.
Hey, you know what we should do tonight? We should go dancing.
Sure.
You and me.
Thin Blue Line, brother.
We could tear it up.
Don't take this the wrong way, but have you been drinking? Oh, drinking! Yeah, let's do that.
Oh, my God.
You know what would be so good right now? One of those caramel cappuccinos, you know, the one with the whipped cream and those cinnamon sprinkles.
You want? I'll go make a run.
Well, actually Great! Back in a jiff.
Okay, something's definitely wrong.
I want that son of a bitch arrested.
Nice to see you, too, Seth.
I take it something has happened.
Fargo happened.
That sneaky little misanthrope cut my speaker wires and knocked me out with a shovel.
Mild mannered Fargo knocked you out? He ain't mild mannered.
He's a freaking lunatic! And I want him locked up! Okay.
I'll go talk to him.
He's not at home.
When you find him, I want you to arrest him.
Yeah.
If I deem that necessary then I will arrest him.
In the meantime, just you go on home, okay? I'll handle it.
You better or I will.
Seth, is that a threat? No.
Good.
It's going to be one of those days.
Morning, Fargo! Go away.
I'm trying to sleep.
Yeah, talked to Seth Osborne.
Heard you had a busy night.
You should arrest that maniac.
He's a menace.
He says the same thing about you.
Me? I unplug a couple speaker cables, he freaks out.
The next thing I know, I wake up in a pool of my own spittle.
Wait a second, he knocked you out? Yeah, so why don't you go bother him and let me get back to sleep.
You can sleep in my cell.
You're coming in for a statement.
Oh, man, why me? Well, for starters, you just confessed to trespassing and vandalism.
Everyone always blames me for everything.
This is so not fair.
I know.
Life generally isn't.
Let's go.
The answer is no.
You're answering a question that isn't being asked.
He's coming with me.
That's a statement.
Good morning, boys.
Hey.
You look nice.
Thank you.
I feel nice.
You're late.
You're never late.
Well, there's a first time for everything.
So, what's going on? Well, Osborne was playing his music way too loud Shut up.
There are some very serious allegations leveled against Fargo and I'm taking him in.
And I need him here to work.
So, you're going to have to tell the good Sheriff that this will have to wait.
Don't the two of you ever get tired of bickering? No.
Not really.
Look, if Fargo has done something illegal, Carter has to take care of it.
Thank you.
Well, there's a surprise.
What? You taking his side.
I'm not taking anyone's side, Nathan.
Oh, please.
You could never separate the personal from the professional.
Oh, like your problem with Carter is strictly professional.
I hate the way he looks at you.
Oh, I don't look at her.
Oh, please, like a shark eyeing chum.
Really? No, I mean Yes, I mean you look good, yeah, but we got to stay on topic here.
Am I supposed to ignore that Mayberry's hitting on my wife? You do realize I'm standing right here? First of all, Nathan, you and I are separated so Carter or anyone else can make a move anytime they want to.
Second of all, I'm not the one who turned a perfectly pleasant dinner into a business proposal and most importantly Guys I didn't leave you for a job in DC.
And it always comes back to this.
Wake me when it's over.
Reminds me of the last time we slept together.
Oh! At least you can remember it.
You're an ass.
Want to know the truth, Allison? We were having our problems long before I left Eureka.
But you refused to see it because it wasn't framed in your perfect little picture.
I never needed perfect, Nathan.
I just needed someone to be there.
Well, here he is.
Go for it! I got work to do anyway.
I don't care what you do.
I'm tired of playing den mother around here.
You know, we're just going to give you guys a minute Oh, no, no, no, no.
You stay here.
I'll go.
I quit.
Oh, but, Allison, hold on! She's all yours, sport! Enjoy.
I Fargo? Come on.
Come on, Allison.
Pick it up.
This is injustice.
This is madness.
I am the grease, damn it! The grease.
Shut up for a second.
Hey, Allison, it's Jack.
Listen, people are acting a little weird and frankly, you're acting a little weird.
But we should really get together and sort this out before it gets any worse.
Caught him trying to burn down Fargo's house.
Too late.
What? I'll kill him! Not if I kill you first! Knock it off! Behave! Want to lock them up together and see what happens? And then I quit! And it was like this heavy weight was lifted.
Like I was breathing for the first time in years.
It was terrifying and liberating all at the same time, like anything was possible.
So So what do you think? I think I've lost my appetite.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It's just the first time that I've ever done this and it just seemed like a good time to start.
Yes, because most therapists love to work during their lunch break.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were supposed to be gentle and supportive.
Frankly, that's getting old.
Okay.
Every day, you people come to me and bare your souls, hoping I'll tell you what to do.
But that is not really what you're looking for.
It isn't? No.
You already know what you should do.
You're just looking for permission to do what you want.
I guess I could see how that could get tiring.
Yeah.
Everybody spills their guts to me, but who do I get to talk to? I've never thought of it that way.
Of course not.
Because you're all too narcissistic to consider that no one really gives a crap about your problems, which aren't really problems at all.
I mean, come on.
"I'm Allison Blake.
I'm torn between "my gorgeous, brilliant, but emotionally unavailable husband "and the gorgeous, charming but immature sheriff.
"What should I do?" You make a choice, commit to it and live with the consequences.
Talk is easy.
Doing is hard.
Passed out? You sure you didn't just have one too many? No, no, I believe you.
I'll just Yeah, I'll be in touch.
Okay.
Bye.
That's 10 calls in 10 minutes.
I'm going to find Allison.
She doesn't get to quit today.
Quit it.
You quit it! All right, hit him again! Keep it up, bitches.
I can do this all day.
Okay, Jo, I'm going to be back shortly.
I need you to stay here and watch them.
You got it, Chief.
Stop calling me Chief.
What are you doing? Nothing.
Jo! Okay, this is mine.
You are no fun! You know what would be fun? Ice-skating! Never mind.
I'm going to go figure this out.
You stay here and do whatever it is that you're not doing.
I don't think I'm following you, sir.
It's not that complicated, Dr.
Glazer.
I need you to give me access codes through the firewall.
There are strict safety calls in place.
What you're suggesting could be catastrophic.
I need this, Louis.
The current plan for making contact with the artifact follows a progression of steps over the next several months all carefully designed and approved by you.
I thought you were a team player, Glazer.
But if you're not with me, I can do it myself.
But Dr.
Stark I don't need you.
Very well.
I don't need anyone.
Allison? You home? Hey, Carter.
What are you doing here? I was worried.
You're not answering your cell phone and things are getting really weird.
I need your help.
Oh, that's nice.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Believe it or not, I've been spending some time with Beverly.
In session? Well, we weren't shopping.
Right.
Was it helpful? Well, I've had a breakthrough.
Good.
So, does that mean you've reconsidered? Oh, I have.
Oh, great.
Because we've got to figure out what's gotten into people.
I mean Have you told Stark you're not quitting? I'm not talking about my job.
I'm talking about what I want.
In regards to? This.
Yeah.
Allison.
I'm making a choice and committing to it.
Talk is easy.
Doing is hard.
Yeah, and what are you doing? Exactly what I want.
Yeah.
I can't.
Really? Yeah.
Oh, no.
I mean, I can! I'm fully capable, but What are you talking about? You're not yourself.
People aren't acting like themselves.
And as much as I would love to I completely understand.
Yeah.
Good.
Now get out.
What? No.
If you just think Yeah, I'm done thinking.
I'm doing.
Henry, Henry, Spencer said I'd find you here.
Look things are getting a little crazy.
I need to pick your brain.
You and everybody else.
I don't follow.
I mean that's all anyone around here does, is feed on me.
Global Dynamics, D.
O.
D.
, you.
I'm intellectual carrion.
Order up! Not you, too.
It's all about producing, getting ahead of everybody else but that's not what I signed up for.
It's a little early in the morning for scotch, isn't it? No.
I came to Eureka to create without restriction or agenda, to make the world a better place, you know, like the new cell tower, but eventually it all gets digested by the machine and re-tasked and turned into something very, very unappetizing! Henry, I need you to focus for me, just for a second.
You need something from me? Well, there's a shocker! Order up! Okay, I'm just going to ignore that and push on.
People seem to be under the influence, doing whatever the hell they want, like they're drunk.
Some of us are.
Could it be an infection? Something like contagious Tourette's? How did you get all those big words to come out of that tiny, little brain? You know what? You're a really mean drunk.
Caribou pepper steak with roasted garlic.
Sheriff, you hungry? Not anymore.
Okay, well, the seats are for customers so either order something or get your ass up.
You see? There you go! There's your blue plate special! See? It's spreading.
So, how's it being transmitted? Is it a virus? I don't know.
I don't care.
The doctor is out.
Henry, I can't solve this alone.
Well, then you're really screwed! Vincent, there's a tuft of hair in my food.
There you go.
And this is well done.
You know I like my meat bloody.
I am so sorry.
Let me fix that for you quick as a wink.
That bloody enough for you, jackass? Order up, Vincent! Yeah, I'm screwed.
What happened? Vincent brained one of the Baker brothers with today's special.
Nice.
Any particular reason? Well, other than the fact that it was burnt and caribou? Maybe the fact that he's crazy.
Are we still getting calls about people who passed out last night? Tons.
I just stopped answering the phone.
Jo, you have to answer the phone.
I don't want to.
It's so boring and I Okay.
Okay.
People, gather around for a second.
Quick question.
How many of you blacked out last night? Put your hand down.
Put your hand down.
Down.
Any of you wake up someplace strange this morning? Okay, okay.
Thank you.
Jo, can you take Vincent back to the station and lock him up? And keep him away from Frick and Frack.
Okay.
Jo! Oh, yeah.
Right! Come on.
Zoe, it's me.
I need you to go home and stay there, okay? Oh, and make sure you keep your cell on in case Oh, that's got to be it.
On second thought, scratch that.
Turn it off.
Turn your cell off.
Devil's plaything.
Taggart? You're naked.
Au naturel.
May I ask why? Why not? Unfortunately, that doesn't tell me if you've been affected or not.
Why do we find it so impossible to live in harmony with nature? I mean, look at it.
All function, no form.
Dysfunction.
You want to help me take it down? With pleasure.
So Quixote turns, standing in the field of men at the foot of giants and says aloud, "No more.
" Let's tilt that windmill.
Shall we? I was thinking more along the lines of an off switch.
Hey, don't make me come in there! Oh, wow.
Hey, attention, everyone, good news.
You're all going to be fine.
I think I fixed the problem.
Or Taggart did.
Really? Because it sure doesn't look like it.
Stop it! Well, maybe there's a delayed response.
Mine! Now did you take away all their cells? PDAs? An hour ago.
What are you waiting for? Come and get it, big man.
Why do they seem worse? Hello? That's what I'm asking you.
Oh, hell.
Henry? I told you the doctor is out.
I'm cleaning house.
Take anything you like.
Yeah.
I know what you told me.
But that The sub-frequency cellular thingamajig that you built, that you finished, I had this theory that it was responsible for the strange behavior so I had Taggart dismantle it.
Good for you.
Yeah, only no one's getting any better.
Probably because it wasn't online.
You sure? I built the damn thing, Carter.
I should know whether or not it was running! So this thing isn't over? No.
Hello, everyone, this is Beverly Barlowe.
Hey, isn't that your PA system? I gave it to her this morning.
I'm canceling all therapy appointments for the foreseeable future.
All this secrecy isn't healthy and, frankly, I can't take anymore.
I suggest instead, you start talking to each other.
So, before I go, I thought I would give you a few issues to discuss.
I'll start in alphabetical order.
Allison Blake.
Oh, crap! For such a beautiful woman, you'd think that she would And that brings me to Walter and Susan Perkins.
Boy, do I have a lot of dirt on these two.
Beverly! And quite frankly, it will be a relief to get it all out in the open.
Yeah, let's leave it closed.
But I am just getting to the good part.
Yeah, I know.
Walter People are having a little bit of trouble controlling their impulses so I'm just going to save you from yourself.
You're a dead woman! And her.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm all yours, princess.
That looked like it hurt.
Is that the best you've got? Allison, you have every right to be angry.
But violence is not the answer.
You guys might want to talk.
That's better.
And maybe we can talk this through.
Beverly, you're the therapist.
No! That's it! Is that the best you've got? Allison, what are you doing? Exactly what I want to.
Well, it's about time.
Bev, not helping.
She exposed my deepest secrets to the entire town.
To be fair, I exposed everybody's secrets.
Well, up to the P's anyway.
I'm not too happy with you either.
Now get out of the way! Allison, listen to me.
You're not yourself! Something is happening and it's happening to everyone.
Everybody but me.
I'm not affected.
Why am I not affected? I'm pretty sure this will affect you.
Now move out of the way! You're not going to shoot anyone.
Really? Why's that? Well, you're not going to shoot me.
Okay.
Sorry.
It's for your own protection.
You think I was mad at you before.
I'll make it up to you.
There is nothing that you could possibly do.
Thank you.
What? What the Well, that's a start.
Okay.
You two keep each other company.
I'm sure you've got a lot to talk about.
Well, this isn't good.
SARAH, door.
Welcome back, Sheriff.
Zoe? Zoe? Oh, not you, too.
Me? What about you? I'm good.
Yeah? Yeah.
Prove it.
Put down my autographed World Series bat or I'll ground you until you're 30.
Thank God.
I was freaking out.
You okay? Well, considering everyone has gone schizo? The school is completely out of control, kids in fights, making out in the hallways, teachers apathetic.
So, more like a normal school then? Exactly.
All right.
Weird, huh? I mean we're both fine, right? But why? I mean, what makes us different? We're from LA.
That definitely sets us apart.
Yeah.
But we've been in town for a while.
What makes us different now? Maybe a massage would help clear your head so you could think.
How come you never offer me a massage? That's it.
A massage? No.
SARAH, door.
Wait, where are you going? Nowhere.
SARAH, door.
That hissing sound.
SARAH, this bunker is hermetically sealed, right? Technically, I'm a smart house, but, yes.
Okay.
And where does our air come from? I'm equipped with oxygen and carbon dioxide tanks in case of emergency.
However, most of your breathable air is filtered from the outside through a point one micron particle filter.
Okay, and I'm betting you keep track of every micron.
Of course.
All right.
I'm going to need an analysis and fast.
Whatever happened, happened last night while we were sleeping.
The only abnormality in the last 24 hours is a spike in the pollen count from Pollen? What kind of pollen? Searching.
The material in question is exotic in nature.
It will take me some time to collate that data.
Okay, great.
Well, you have about 20 minutes before it gets dark.
So, SARAH, door.
Where are you going? Back to where it started.
You stay here.
Okay, I'm in.
Be careful.
I got nothing.
SARAH, you say a plant is causing this? The filter log registered positive for pollen from the violacea family.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's night-blooming Necro something violacea.
That's Osborne's genetic hybrid.
Necrosomnium? Yeah! That's it.
What is that? According to the Eureka Quest search engine it's Latin for death sleep.
Of course it is.
Why would somebody plant that? Says here it's potentially an organic sedative.
An alternative to general anesthesia.
Some varieties can alter brain chemistry.
There's a picture.
Hey, do you see any purple flowers or plants? No.
Nada.
Hybrids may not share the same characteristics as their parents and often present radically different physical traits.
So maybe it's a different color? No, it's purple.
Got to go.
Nature, one.
Man, nil.
What's going on? Striking back for mother nature.
Taggart? I know what you're up to, Sheriff.
You were going to burn these beautiful plants.
For good reason, you jackass! Unless you want to roast your chestnuts, back off.
You wouldn't dare.
Try me.
All right, folks.
Freeze-dried astronaut soup.
I have no clue what it is, but get it while it's hot.
Got room for one more? Sorry, Mary.
Manger's full.
Try the cafe.
Yeah, it's packed.
Besides, I want Taggart where I can see him.
Or smell him.
Yeah.
I hope the pollen effect wears off before we start to bathe these guys.
Too late.
What? Fargo missed bucket time.
Oh, that's disgusting.
But the good news is, is that the swearing has gone down considerably.
And nobody's tried to spit in my face for the past couple of hours.
Oh, that's progress.
No.
So, is this everybody? One more stop.
Is it safe to come in? Relatively.
It might have been nice if you chained us to a bed last night.
Stop it.
Didn't say anything.
I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
Again, I am so sorry.
I guess I have a few apologies to make.
And thank you for stopping me.
You're welcome.
I guess I should thank you for stopping me, too.
That was pretty heroic.
Oh, you mean here at Beverly's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here, come on.
Oh, oh, oh, I quit my job.
I'm not looking forward to that conversation.
Where's Nathan? Chained to a radiator or something? I have no idea.
Sorry, I've been a little busy saving the world, so, you know Again.
Security breach in Section Five.
Come on! Damn it! Machine artifact chamber, access granted.
So what exactly are we dealing with here? All I know is there's something inside Section Five that Nathan is obsessed with.
Something that he thinks will change the world.
Of course it's incredibly dangerous.
Have you ever known anything to change the world that wasn't? Velcro.
You're right.
It's not the right time.
Wow.
So everybody's left the building.
The biohazard containment system's been activated.
They must evacuate.
One guess who's responsible.
Danger.
Fail-safe system disengaged.
Allison, he might still be affected and he's not too happy with you.
No, no, I can reach him.
I know I can.
I can't let you take that risk.
I need to.
Please.
Nathan.
You need to leave now.
Listen, please.
There's nothing you can say.
I need to do this.
No, you don't.
I want to do this.
You don't have anything to prove.
Not to me.
Not to anyone.
I already lost you.
The artifact is all I have left.
That's not true.
I'm here now.
You don't know what's inside that room.
But you know what's out here.
We need you.
The town needs you.
I need you.
I need you, too.
It's okay.
It's okay, honey.
You're okay.
It's okay.
Failsafe reinstated.
Safety status normal.
So, I guess that's it then.
And hopefully we can all now return to our normal routines.
The crazy rainforest plants have been, let's just say, recycled.
And fortunately no lives were lost in the process.
So, while someone you know may have done or said something that you didn't like, please remember that you probably said or did something that you're not too proud of either.
Let's try to put all this behind us.
Forgive and forget.
And let bygones be bygones.
Fellow Eurekans, I just want to touch base and tie up a few loose ends.
You like my speech? It was great.
Thanks.
Look, I just wanted to thank you for, you know, not taking advantage of the situation.
Oh.
Yeah.
This whole debacle has raised a few questions for all of us.
And I'm no exception.
You were a gentleman and I appreciate it.
Thank you, Carter.
I apologize for anything I may have said.
Oh, we're back to Carter now? Just take it slowly.
None of us are going anywhere.
This was a difficult decision for me to make and it's been quite a journey, but it's time for me to leave Eureka.
So, this is goodbye and God bless.