Gilmore Girls s01e10 Episode Script
Forgiveness and Stuff
Previously on Gilmore Girls: - You have a formal coming up? - Yeah, but I don't think I'm gonna go.
Nonsense.
Of course you're going.
I just don't want you to miss on any experience because you're too afraid.
I'm afraid? Of what? Of asking Dean.
Are you asking me to go to a dance with you? No.
Yes.
- Bye, Grandma.
Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
- What do you know about this boy? - I know that Rory likes him and that his parole officer has high hopes for his rehabilitation.
- Hey.
- What? - Thank you for tonight.
It was perfect.
- You're welcome.
- Lorelai, get up.
Right now! - What? Rory's not home.
Have you been here all night? Oh, no.
- Please let me come with you.
- No! I have to go home.
Let's be calm until we know what happened.
They were out all night! - She'll get pregnant.
- No, she's not.
She's smart and careful, and I trust her.
She's gonna be fine.
If you can't accept or believe that, then I don't want you in this house! Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up with my mother here and find out that you never came home? So all this is about Grandma being here? No, it's about the feeling of complete terror when you're not in bed in the morning! Nothing happened! It's a different terror when I find out that you spent the night with some guy! I'm sorry that I screwed up, and that you got yelled at but I didn't do anything.
And you know it! People, please pay attention! Now, I want my before Mary over here and my after Mary over here.
Wise men, shepherd, line up for the processional.
I only have half a donkey? I need the rest of the donkey.
- Hold still, Kirk.
- You stuck me.
- Did not.
- Did, too.
Okay, be quiet now.
Taylor, the Baby Jesus is missing an arm again.
What? - I was getting it out of the trunk and - Let me see that.
For Pete's sake.
Okay, listen up! The arm is missing! I repeat, the arm is missing! Maybe it's time to get a new Baby Jesus.
One that's a boy.
- It's a doll.
No one can tell.
- It has a bow.
This has been the Baby Jesus in every Christmas Pageant since 1965.
- Were you here in 1965? - No, I wasn't.
Find the arm.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
- You're flinching.
- You stuck me once and might do it again.
You know what? You're done.
- I swear, I've looked twice.
- Look again.
Taylor, come quickly.
Our before Mary's about to become an after.
Who else in town is knocked up? - Find the arm? - Nope.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
- Hey, I thought we were meeting at Luke's.
- We were? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I forgot.
Let me guess.
You and Lorelai haven't made up yet? Nope.
Things are still very Miracle Worker at my house.
God, how did everything get so screwed up? You staying out all night with Dean had a part in it.
And my grandmother being there to witness it didn't help.
- Never does.
- It sucks.
Things were good.
School was good, Dean was good.
Now my mother and I are barely speaking.
Mom and Grandma are barely speaking.
- Dean's new name is Narcolepsy Boy.
- How's he taking it? I haven't talked to him since it happened.
- That's four days ago.
- I know.
- Has he called? - I told him not to.
- And he listened? - No.
Good boy.
I really need to talk about something else now.
- You went shopping.
- Yes, I did.
I got a mooing cow-shaped timer for Sookie some Cardio Salsa tapes for Michel, a book for Dean.
- You got Dean a book? - Yeah, Metamorphosis.
It's Kafka.
- Very romantic.
- I think it is romantic.
I know I've always dreamed that some guy would get me a really confusing Czechoslovakian novel.
I think he'll appreciate it.
- A book sends the wrong message.
- What are you talking about? Look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you.
Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? - Yeah.
- Okay.
To me that said, 'Mom, you work hard.
You deserve something fancy.
' To my mother, it said, 'Mom, here's some smelly sex juice 'the kind I use to lure boys with.
' And resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
- Yeah, but - Imagine that you actually gave Dean something really romantic, and he gave you a football.
Your hypothetical romantic present is saying that you really like him and his present is saying, 'Let's just be friends.
' - You're saying that this book - Is a Czechoslovakian football, yes.
Then what do I get him? You should find out what he's giving you, and then gauge your gift accordingly.
But doesn't that take the fun out of it? Gift-giving is serious business.
If you don't believe me, try spending a month at Korean Bible Camp.
Yes, right there.
Now flip the elf and the fairy.
- Which one's the fairy? - The one with the wand.
What are you doing? - Isn't this a wand? - No, that is a staff.
- This isn't a fairy? - That is Little Bo Peep.
- You don't wanna move her? - I would prefer that you didn't.
- So, we're still looking for a fairy.
- The search continues.
- No chance you're gonna help me? - None whatsoever.
Independence Inn.
Lorelai speaking.
Mom, hello.
I wanted to talk about the Christmas dinner this Friday.
- Christmas dinner.
- You forgot.
There's been a lot going on around here.
Your shindig's not high on my list of things to obsess about.
I'm sorry if the timing's bad, but the world does not always revolve around you.
Thanks for the tip.
Cocktails are at 6:00.
Dinner is at 8:00.
- I probably won't be there for cocktails.
- Why not? - Because I have to work.
- You can't leave work early? - No, I can't.
- Why not? It's not in my job description.
Then don't come.
- What? - Don't come.
This is obviously an enormous burden for you.
- Yeah, but - Just send Rory.
You're telling me not to come to the Christmas party? You're obviously too busy.
I had the German measles in fifth grade.
I still had to show up to the Christmas party.
Let's be honest here.
I'm not too happy with you right now, and I assume you're not happy with me.
My polka-dot dress matched my face, and still I had to sit through 12 courses.
I am tired of forcing you to do all those terrible things that infringe upon your life.
And I do not have the energy to pretend that the way you treated me was in any way acceptable.
So you're uninviting me to Christmas dinner? Yes, I am.
- Fine.
- Fine.
- Anything else? - I believe that's all.
Great, Mom.
It's been swell talking to you.
- Goodbye, Lorelai.
- Bye.
- This one? - No.
I wish you'd change your mind.
It's not my mind that needs to be changed.
- I don't think she meant it.
- She meant it.
Maybe she thinks she meant it at the time but I bet she won't mean it when I show up without you.
Without a map to follow that reasoning, I say, 'Take a hat, it's cold outside.
' - You just wanna hold a grudge.
- Yes, it burns more calories.
- That's not true.
- Yes, it is.
How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.
Never saw her on the running track.
I don't remember the Country Club organizing a Tae-Bo class.
Fine, forget it.
Should I put your name on Grandma's present? Yes.
Sign it 'The innkeeper formerly known as her daughter.
' - You know what I think? - What? I think you're acting a little immature.
I'm not acting.
What about the apple tarts? You wait all year for those apple tarts.
I can live without the apple tarts.
You've made up songs after eating five of them with lyrics that contradict that last statement.
- You have to go.
You're late.
- You really won't come? Is somebody speaking? It couldn't be Rory.
She's halfway to Hartford.
Fine, I'm going.
Drive carefully.
Watch out for ice.
Bring me back one of those tarts.
- Hi, Grandma.
- Rory, come in.
You look lovely.
This is from me and Mom.
Aren't you thoughtful? I'll just put it under the tree.
Mom actually picked it out.
- Do you know Holland Prescott? - I met her last year.
- Holland, look who's here.
- Hello, Rory.
- That's not my proposal.
- Yes, I know.
Henry toned it down a little.
- Henry did? He is a toddler.
- He thought your take was conservative.
- And a moron! - Be very careful.
This man may be our boss one day.
- That will never happen.
- All right.
Have you heard something? Richard, Alan, look who's here.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Where's your mother? - She - Over by the apple tarts, I assume.
- Lorelai couldn't come tonight.
- She couldn't? - No, she had to work.
Speaking of which, I'm gonna give that man a call.
You're getting yourself all worked up.
As long as I've been with this company, it's been run by gentlemen.
Revising a man's work without so much as a phone call - would have been unheard of.
- It's a new world out there.
Please stop all this shoptalk.
We're here to celebrate.
- I'm gonna call that man.
- It's past midnight in London.
Even better.
Grandma, could I talk to you alone, please? You need something to drink.
I wanna apologize about the other night.
- Please, this is a party.
- I messed up.
It's my fault.
This isn't the time or place to discuss this.
- Your mother should've taught you that.
- Don't be mad at her.
I'm not mad at anyone.
Go back in and join the party.
And take this to Gigi on your way back.
Yes, Joe, I know it's Friday night, but I ordered my pizza an hour ago.
No, I did not hear about the delivery van.
I am very sorry to hear that.
Was it a fairly new van? Great.
As with most tragedies in life there comes a time when you need to pick up and move on.
So what's the next phase of the delivery saga? How long until your brother's back with the Razor scooter? Just call me when he gets there.
Bye, Joe.
- Hi there.
How you doing? - Fine.
Good.
Shouldn't you have a squeegee with you? - I was - Looking for Rory? She's not here.
Okay.
- I'll tell her you tapped.
- Thanks.
Something else? I wanted to say that things got all messed up.
- Yes, they did.
- And I'm sorry.
- But nothing happened.
- Okay, I have to go.
We sat down, and we were reading this book and then we fell asleep.
Pick a more interesting book next time.
So am I public enemy number one with you? Number one? I don't know.
Would you settle for top five? I'm still hot for that crazy bomber guy who's been living in a cave for a year.
Please, just tell me where I stand.
I don't know where you stand, okay? All I know is my 16-year-old didn't come home one night.
You had something to do with that.
- I told you, nothing happened.
- I heard.
You can hate me, but you have to believe me.
I wouldn't let anything happen to her.
- You happened to her.
- I won't hurt her.
- You know, I was 16 when I had Rory.
- I know.
That is the same age she is now.
She wants to go to Harvard.
She will, and if she doesn't, it won't be because of me.
I don't hate you.
- No? - No.
Though I did imagine 20 ways to remove your head from your body.
Which one looked the best? Hedge clippers.
Dull ones.
Sure, you wouldn't want it to go quick.
Exactly.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
We have a really nice front door.
You might wanna use it sometimes.
Got it.
See you.
- Henry, you ring on three.
- I thought it was two.
- Chuck rings on two.
You ring on three.
- I'm on one.
- Are you sure? - Nope.
Sorry, you're right.
I'm two.
From the top.
One, two.
- Rory coming? - No.
- She on a date? - No.
Good.
So you forbid her to see the bag boy.
I'd rather not talk about it.
- Just tell me you forbid her to see him.
- I did not.
Are you crazy? He's moving up to produce, so he's become quite a catch.
- That kid is trouble.
- Can I order? First time I saw him, I thought that.
I'm the one who told you I thought he was trouble.
You told me I was crazy.
You are crazy, and he is trouble.
He is not trouble.
He's 6'2', he's beautiful and he's in love with my daughter.
- Trouble.
- Big time.
I'll get you a burger.
Wait.
Can I see a menu? - You need to see a menu? - Yes.
- You come here every day.
- But I usually order the same thing.
Tonight I'm in the mood for something different.
- A menu.
- Piece of paper, list of food offered.
Here.
It's not in Japanese.
Don't you have any kind of holiday special, something festive? I just got some Grey Poupon.
It's French.
Tonight's my parents' big Christmas celebration.
There's good food, these amazing apple tarts, big tree.
It's the only holiday I actually enjoy going over there for, and this year I'm uninvited.
Why would anybody celebrate Christmas two weeks early? Did you hear that I was uninvited? To your parents' fake Christmas party? I did.
- Do you care? - Obviously you do.
Yes, I do.
And I don't know why.
You liked going, Rory's there without you you and Rory aren't getting along right now and you feel bad at being separated at a time you usually share together.
Did I mention you come here every damn day? - I'll have a burger.
- Coming right up.
Emily, you've outdone yourself yet again.
Yes, I can't imagine the hours you spent slaving over a hot stove.
- You're teasing me, Alan.
- It's delicious.
A compliment for my chef is a compliment for me.
Thank you.
I, for one, would like to know where Henry is at this hour.
Probably gallivanting around London like a bull out to stud.
Richard, please.
How's he supposed to negotiate the contract tomorrow if he's been out at all hours with some cheap tramp? Knowing Henry, she wasn't cheap.
This is wildly inappropriate dinner conversation in front of a young lady.
- Is it unbearably hot in here? - Don't loosen your tie at the table.
What are your plans for the Christmas holidays, Rory? I'll just be hanging out with my mom.
It's a shame she couldn't come.
She's always such a kick.
Lorelai wasn't feeling well, so I suggested she stay home.
It is hot in here.
I'm gonna lower the thermostat.
- Poor thing.
What's wrong with her? - She has a touch of the flu.
- Forget the thermostat.
- I thought you said she was working.
She was supposed to work, but then she caught the flu.
Tell her we missed her.
I will.
For heaven's sake.
- What did you do? - You wanted something festive.
- You made me a Santa burger.
- It's no big deal.
He has a hat and everything.
Yeah, I just cut a piece of Wonder Bread poured on some ketchup, piped on some cream cheese.
No one ever made me something quite this disgusting before.
- I thank you.
- You're welcome.
- What? - Outside.
- It's like the North Pole out there.
- This sign isn't a decoration.
- Nothing in here is a decoration.
- It disturbs the other customers.
Really? Maybe we should take a vote.
Who thinks we shouldn't use cell phones in here? Screw democracy.
Perfect.
Now I have to check my voicemail.
What's going on? We were caroling around town and we got chilly.
We thought we could trade you a song for some hot chocolate.
- You want free hot chocolate? - We'll sing for it, any tune you like.
- And then I give you free hot chocolate? - Yeah.
You can have your hot chocolate, pay for it then go next door and sing for marshmallows.
- Oh, my God.
- These are your neighbors Shut up, Taylor.
What's going on? - My father's in the hospital.
- What? He collapsed or something.
I don't know.
I need to call a cab.
Where's the phone? Can anybody give me I'm holding a phone.
- Calm down.
- I can't.
I need a cab.
What's the number? God.
It's something cabs, or cabs something.
Can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy? I'll drive you.
But there's food, and people, and a burger with a face.
Everybody out, we're closed.
Let's go! Food's on me.
Put on your coat and get your stuff.
Taylor, have your hot chocolate, then lock up.
Come on, my truck's out back.
- Luke, I'm - I know.
Let's go.
- Look.
- Relax.
- We're being passed by senior citizens.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
Bye, Grandma.
There's ice on the road.
- Those people aren't being safe.
- At least they're getting somewhere.
You've checked it five times.
I've listened to it twice.
It's not changing.
'Grandpa's in the hospital.
Please come.
' No details, no info.
- Who taught her to leave messages? - I'm sure she was in a hurry.
I need details.
Why is he in the hospital? How bad is it? What are the circumstances involving him being in the hospital? We'll be there very soon, and you'll know everything.
- What if he's dead? - He's not dead.
- How do you know? - I know.
You're psychic now? You're suddenly getting visions while you drive at 20 miles an hour in the oldest truck known to man? I'm sorry.
You're killing yourself to get me there - and I'm yelling at you.
I don't mean it.
- I know.
I feel like this is one of those moments where I should be remembering all the great times I had with my dad.
The time he took me shopping for a Barbie or to the circus, or fishing.
- My mind is a complete blank.
- I'm sure it happened.
No, it didn't.
We never did any of that.
He went to work, came home, read the paper, went to bed.
I snuck out the window.
Simple.
He was a very by-the-numbers guy.
I was never very good with numbers.
I'm sure he loves you.
My dad is not a bad guy.
I'm sure he's not.
He lived his life the way he thought he was supposed to.
He followed the rules taught to him by his non-fishing, non-Barbie-buying dad.
He worked hard.
He bought a nice house.
He provided for my mom.
All he asked in return was for his daughter to wear white dresses and go to cotillion and want the same life that he had.
What a disappointment it must have been for him to get me.
I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.
I bet you'd buy a Barbie for your daughter.
I'd probably give her the cash to buy it herself and then meet her by the baseball cards.
- You'll make a great dad.
- You make a great mom.
It's just the daughter part I don't have down yet.
Okay, hold on.
That Camaro is dust.
- But why can't I see him? - They're running some tests.
- I'd like to meet the doctor.
- You will.
Some strange man is working on my husband.
- I have a right to meet this person.
- You will.
- I wanna see the room you'll put him in.
- You will.
Stop saying, 'You will.
' Put a proper sentence together.
Ma'am, please wait here.
- Did you find out anything? - Please.
They run this place like the CIA.
Joshua, thank God.
This place is infuriating.
It's all right.
I'm gonna check on him now.
Have you filled out the forms? I don't care about forms, I wanna see my husband.
- Is she being obstinate? - Very.
Let me see what's going on, and we'll take it from there.
And there he goes, through the doors.
- Maybe I should call Mom again.
- Never mind, I'm sure she's very busy.
- That's not true - Go get your grandfather a paper.
The Wall Street Journal or Barron's.
He'll want something to read when he gets to his room.
Okay, can I get you anything? Maybe a coffee? No, dear, I'm fine.
We're not here.
Speak if you must.
- Ms.
Gilmore, I need you to - It's not Ms.
Gilmore, it's Mrs.
Gilmore.
I am not a Cosmo woman.
I know this is difficult, but if you don't fill out these forms You'll do what? I'd like to hear in your most condescending tone what my punishment will be for not filling out these forms.
Are there bamboo shoots involved? Some dark, deep hole in the ground? Rats nibbling at my toes? Okay, we're supposed to follow the blue line around the corner and then we should be Where's The Scarecrow when you need him? - We have to ask someone else.
- No! We just have to pick one! We can't just wander around here aimlessly.
Somewhere in this hospital are my mother and my father.
I know I don't get along with them but there has to be some sort of intuition, some blood bond - that will somehow lead me to them.
- That's crazy.
- My great-uncle founded this hospital - And that's Emily.
you insensitive paper peddler! His portrait is hanging in the lobby.
It's right above the sign that says 'Founder'! What's going on? How is he? You came.
- Of course I came.
How's Dad? - That's what I'm trying to find out.
But this woman keeps pestering me with idiotic questions like what's the number of my insurance policy.
- I need to get this information.
- You need to get sensitivity training.
What if I fill out this information and you can go find someone who can tell us how my dad is? - I'm not - Or I can go and you can stay here and continue to discuss this with my mother.
- I'll go.
- Thank you.
- You got rid of her.
- Yes.
Tell me what happened.
- That was amazing.
- Mom, please.
I don't know what happened.
He was hot, and he went to turn down the thermostat, and then - Were you on a date? - What? - You have an escort.
- No, it's Luke.
Which is her way of saying we weren't on a date.
- I didn't mean it like that.
- How am I supposed to know? - It's Friday night.
You're here with a man.
- With Luke.
It's not insane to assume a date was involved.
You're right, it's entirely possible that I was out on a date.
Just not with me.
I was eating at Luke's, I got the message.
He gave me a ride.
End of story.
- Is Dr.
Reynolds here? - Joshua got here a while ago.
He was supposed to be back the minute he knew something.
Let's go find him.
You can't find him.
You can't find anyone.
Everyone keeps disappearing behind those doors.
Come on, let's go.
I didn't know you could do that.
I'll wait here.
I gave your mom a ride.
We weren't on a date.
Okay.
She and your grandmother went back to find a doctor.
Did they find out anything else about Grandpa? I don't think so.
Give your mom some time back there.
I bet she'll find something out.
- Thanks for bringing her.
- You're welcome.
You okay? - I don't want him to die.
- You tell him that when you see him.
People like to hear that.
It was horrible.
It happened so fast.
He'll come out of the testing room any minute, so hang in there.
Where's Grandma? Kicking some patient out of the room with the good view.
- Really? - I hope they get him unhooked fast.
Otherwise he'll go without the life-support machine.
- How long before they bring him back? - Very soon.
- I'd like to do something.
- Like rollerblade? Like get some coffee or make phone calls or do something that isn't standing here waiting.
Okay.
As partial as I am to the phone I'm voting for the get coffee idea.
Okay, good.
- Luke, tea? - Peppermint, preferably.
I'll be right back.
He's gonna be fine.
- I was just getting to know him.
- I know.
- I don't want him to - He's not.
Go get your coffee.
- Oh, man.
- You were very brave for her.
It's my turn.
This sucks.
Come on, you gotta think positive here.
Bright side, good thoughts.
Rainbows, unicorns.
Clowns.
Little, cute furry - Okay, I'm out.
- Thank God.
We've secured him the room but the pillows are completely unacceptable.
I'm gonna see if I can find some down ones and some slippers.
We'll be here.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm just not real big on hospitals.
The smell, people being wheeled by with tubes sticking out of them.
Drainage fluids, gaping holes.
- Listen, why don't you go home? - You want me to go? - You don't look so good.
- Thanks.
That's not what I meant.
You always look good.
- Yeah? - I meant you always look healthy.
Okay.
But you don't look so healthy now.
You look - Unhealthy.
- Yes.
Okay.
What? So I said you look good.
We're not in fifth grade.
'You look good.
' Big deal.
Stop staring at me.
See? That's what you get for being cocky.
How is he? - He's a little groggy right now.
- What's going on? How were the tests? The doctor'll have to tell you that.
I'm just a transport guy.
When is the doctor coming out? I'm not sure, but you can go on with your dad until he gets here.
- Go ahead.
I'm good.
- That's okay.
I'm gonna go find my mom and Rory and tell them he's back.
- I can tell them when they get here.
- That's okay.
I think they'd like to know now.
- You almost ran me over.
- Good thing we're in a hospital.
- Where were you going? - To find you.
They brought Dad up.
- When? - Just now.
- How is he? Did you talk to him? - No, I was coming to find you.
- Come on.
- Go ahead, I'm gonna go find Rory.
- Fine.
- Okay.
I could look for Rory.
- No, that's okay.
I'll do it.
- I thought so.
Look, it's Rory.
The coffee machine was jammed, so I got chicken soup and PEZ.
- I was coming to look for you.
- Is everything okay? They just brought Grandpa back up.
He's in Room 202.
- Come on.
- You go ahead.
I have to make a call.
- Hurry up.
- I'll meet you there.
- Who are you gonna go find now? - Stop.
How about Jimmy Hoffa? That'll keep you busy.
- Stop.
- You can't avoid going in there forever.
I'm not avoiding anything.
I'm gonna find coffee.
- The machine's jammed.
- There are other machines.
- Admit you're afraid.
- You've no idea what you're talking about.
- The truth hurts.
- You know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head.
What? Oh, my God! 'Year-end optimism in recent earnings reports 'have pushed shares of the telecommunications giant above $65.
' Rubbish.
'However, some experts say that the stock is dangerously overvalued.
' How are we doing? We're done with the front page of The Financial Times - and all of The Wall Street Journal.
- Very good progress.
Why don't you save the rest of the paper till later? Okay.
If I hug you is it gonna hurt? Pain is part of life.
This little girl likes you.
She has good taste.
- Where's Mom? - Looking for coffee.
- What are you doing? - Staring at my shoes.
Okay, carry on.
I finally found you decent pillows.
They're not down, but they give a little.
- We need to talk.
- Can you lift your head at all? - This is serious.
- Just a little.
There is a key in my top desk drawer.
- Better, yes? - It's to the safe.
One more time.
All of our stock information is in there plus all of the insurance information.
If I could just find you some different sheets.
Our will is in my lower left drawer.
Dennis has a copy if there's a problem.
I could get Dava to bring some from home.
Emily, this is serious.
We have to be practical.
I'm gonna have Dava get those sheets.
- Listen to me.
If I die - No! Richard Gilmore, there may be many things happening in this hospital but your dying is not one of them.
- But - No! I did not sign on to your dying, and it is not going to happen.
Not tonight, not for a very long time.
In fact, I demand to go first.
Do I make myself clear? Yes, Emily.
You may go first.
Good.
I'm gonna get you those sheets.
No luck? I think I'm wearing it down.
You're pathetic.
- Is the doctor back? - Not yet.
- You had a visitor tonight.
- Yeah? Who? - Narcolepsy Boy.
- Dean came over? Yeah.
He pulled the old tapping-on-the-window bit.
- Were you mean? - Excuse me, I am never mean.
You were mean.
- He told me nothing happened.
- Nothing did.
- I know.
- You do? Really? There are only two things that I totally trust in this entire world: The fact that I'll never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country and you.
Hopefully not in that order.
You have to understand the major panic factor that went on there.
I really do, and I'm so sorry.
Nothing like that will happen again, I swear.
- Don't swear.
- Why not? - Because you are your mother's daughter.
- Meaning? It means things can happen even when you don't really mean for them to happen.
They will not happen.
Okay.
I hated going to that party tonight without you.
I hated you going to that party tonight without me.
- How were the apple tarts? - Grandma didn't make them this year.
- Really? - Yeah.
- That's weird.
- I know.
- Are you lying? - Through my teeth.
Good girl.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Lf you don't mind, I think I need to just - Sure.
Sit, please.
- How is he? - You know, he's I don't know.
That's a nice tie.
It's Brooks Brothers.
It was bothering him tonight.
I told him not to loosen it.
I wanted him to look nice for our guests.
So he didn't.
And then The paramedics took it off him on the way here.
I just haven't been able to put it down yet.
I must sound crazy.
I've kept my father's entire store just the way he left it.
- Really? - I turned it into a diner.
But I kept all his stuff on the walls, his pictures in the office.
Even the Hardware sign.
I'm sure he would've appreciated having his life's work being honored like that.
He would have called me a damn fool.
I don't know what Lorelai's told you about her father.
I can certainly imagine But he's a very good man.
He always did the right thing for his family.
That's what she told me.
What exactly is going on between the two of you? Nothing.
Really.
We're friends, that's it.
You're idiots, the both of you.
- There you are.
Where have you been? - Coffee hunt.
- What's going on? - Your mother called me an idiot.
You must've sucked up good.
I'm gonna go wash my face.
So what you gonna do? - Okay, I'm just gonna - I'll be here.
I've heard for such a long time.
How are you doing, darling? It looks like we're going to be stuck with you for a while longer.
It was just a touch of angina.
- But you have to watch your diet.
- That's gonna be important.
No more red meat, heavy desserts.
- You're gonna have to exercise regularly.
- Golf doesn't count.
Can he go home? We'd like to keep him overnight though, just to be sure.
- But he's fine.
- As long as he does what he's told, yes.
I heard.
Everything's okay.
Yeah.
They're gonna keep him overnight but he's gonna be fine.
Okay.
See, here's where the guy is supposed to give the girl his handkerchief, but I don't have one.
And plus, I find the practice a little revolting, so - I'm okay.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- All right.
I got this for you.
- Where did you get that? - Nurses' lounge.
What? You're not the only one who can flirt.
The door was open.
- Thank you.
- Anything else I can do? - Could you take Rory home? - Yeah, sure.
What about you? I'm gonna stick around here for a while and make sure everything's settled.
- You take her, and I'll drive the jeep back.
- Okay.
- He's gonna be fine.
- Yeah.
I think it was those financial papers that really did the trick.
Luke's gonna take you home.
I'm gonna hang out here for a while.
- I'll stay, too.
- No, go.
Call Dean.
Talk mushy and then spend an hour arguing over who's gonna hang up first.
- You're gross.
- I'll call you later.
Okay.
Tell him goodbye for me, and tell him I'll come back tomorrow.
- Okay, I will.
- Bye.
Walk fast and look straight ahead.
- Thanks.
- I'll call you.
- He's almost asleep.
- Good.
- Where's Rory? - I sent her home with Luke.
What about you? I thought I'd stick around in case anybody needed anything.
- Really? - Not you.
You obviously don't need anything.
But somebody somewhere in this hospital might need something and I'm gonna be the person who gets it for them.
Would you like to go to the cafeteria for something to eat? Yes, maybe somebody in the cafeteria will need something.
Oh, dear.
And won't they feel lucky when they see me? 'I needed something, and there you were.
' It's gonna be a great moment.
- Hello.
- Hey, how's your dad? Better though he says life is not life unless it includes a steak.
- How come you're not out with everyone? - I have some things to do.
- Right.
Anyway, this is for you.
- What's it for? Just thank you, Christmas, whatever.
- Christmas isn't for two weeks.
- Do we really have to do this again? I just thought, God forbid something happens to that one, you might need a spare.
Here.
Does that look wrong.
There.
Turn out the lights.
For what? It's not even the real procession.
It's just the rehearsal.
So? It's pretty.
Why do they need to rehearse it? It's the same thing every year.
Come on, Luke, please? It's hard to imagine living somewhere else, isn't it? Thanks for the hat.
You're welcome.
Looks good on you.
Good how? Just watch the procession.
Nonsense.
Of course you're going.
I just don't want you to miss on any experience because you're too afraid.
I'm afraid? Of what? Of asking Dean.
Are you asking me to go to a dance with you? No.
Yes.
- Bye, Grandma.
Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
- What do you know about this boy? - I know that Rory likes him and that his parole officer has high hopes for his rehabilitation.
- Hey.
- What? - Thank you for tonight.
It was perfect.
- You're welcome.
- Lorelai, get up.
Right now! - What? Rory's not home.
Have you been here all night? Oh, no.
- Please let me come with you.
- No! I have to go home.
Let's be calm until we know what happened.
They were out all night! - She'll get pregnant.
- No, she's not.
She's smart and careful, and I trust her.
She's gonna be fine.
If you can't accept or believe that, then I don't want you in this house! Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up with my mother here and find out that you never came home? So all this is about Grandma being here? No, it's about the feeling of complete terror when you're not in bed in the morning! Nothing happened! It's a different terror when I find out that you spent the night with some guy! I'm sorry that I screwed up, and that you got yelled at but I didn't do anything.
And you know it! People, please pay attention! Now, I want my before Mary over here and my after Mary over here.
Wise men, shepherd, line up for the processional.
I only have half a donkey? I need the rest of the donkey.
- Hold still, Kirk.
- You stuck me.
- Did not.
- Did, too.
Okay, be quiet now.
Taylor, the Baby Jesus is missing an arm again.
What? - I was getting it out of the trunk and - Let me see that.
For Pete's sake.
Okay, listen up! The arm is missing! I repeat, the arm is missing! Maybe it's time to get a new Baby Jesus.
One that's a boy.
- It's a doll.
No one can tell.
- It has a bow.
This has been the Baby Jesus in every Christmas Pageant since 1965.
- Were you here in 1965? - No, I wasn't.
Find the arm.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
- You're flinching.
- You stuck me once and might do it again.
You know what? You're done.
- I swear, I've looked twice.
- Look again.
Taylor, come quickly.
Our before Mary's about to become an after.
Who else in town is knocked up? - Find the arm? - Nope.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
- Hey, I thought we were meeting at Luke's.
- We were? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I forgot.
Let me guess.
You and Lorelai haven't made up yet? Nope.
Things are still very Miracle Worker at my house.
God, how did everything get so screwed up? You staying out all night with Dean had a part in it.
And my grandmother being there to witness it didn't help.
- Never does.
- It sucks.
Things were good.
School was good, Dean was good.
Now my mother and I are barely speaking.
Mom and Grandma are barely speaking.
- Dean's new name is Narcolepsy Boy.
- How's he taking it? I haven't talked to him since it happened.
- That's four days ago.
- I know.
- Has he called? - I told him not to.
- And he listened? - No.
Good boy.
I really need to talk about something else now.
- You went shopping.
- Yes, I did.
I got a mooing cow-shaped timer for Sookie some Cardio Salsa tapes for Michel, a book for Dean.
- You got Dean a book? - Yeah, Metamorphosis.
It's Kafka.
- Very romantic.
- I think it is romantic.
I know I've always dreamed that some guy would get me a really confusing Czechoslovakian novel.
I think he'll appreciate it.
- A book sends the wrong message.
- What are you talking about? Look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you.
Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? - Yeah.
- Okay.
To me that said, 'Mom, you work hard.
You deserve something fancy.
' To my mother, it said, 'Mom, here's some smelly sex juice 'the kind I use to lure boys with.
' And resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
- Yeah, but - Imagine that you actually gave Dean something really romantic, and he gave you a football.
Your hypothetical romantic present is saying that you really like him and his present is saying, 'Let's just be friends.
' - You're saying that this book - Is a Czechoslovakian football, yes.
Then what do I get him? You should find out what he's giving you, and then gauge your gift accordingly.
But doesn't that take the fun out of it? Gift-giving is serious business.
If you don't believe me, try spending a month at Korean Bible Camp.
Yes, right there.
Now flip the elf and the fairy.
- Which one's the fairy? - The one with the wand.
What are you doing? - Isn't this a wand? - No, that is a staff.
- This isn't a fairy? - That is Little Bo Peep.
- You don't wanna move her? - I would prefer that you didn't.
- So, we're still looking for a fairy.
- The search continues.
- No chance you're gonna help me? - None whatsoever.
Independence Inn.
Lorelai speaking.
Mom, hello.
I wanted to talk about the Christmas dinner this Friday.
- Christmas dinner.
- You forgot.
There's been a lot going on around here.
Your shindig's not high on my list of things to obsess about.
I'm sorry if the timing's bad, but the world does not always revolve around you.
Thanks for the tip.
Cocktails are at 6:00.
Dinner is at 8:00.
- I probably won't be there for cocktails.
- Why not? - Because I have to work.
- You can't leave work early? - No, I can't.
- Why not? It's not in my job description.
Then don't come.
- What? - Don't come.
This is obviously an enormous burden for you.
- Yeah, but - Just send Rory.
You're telling me not to come to the Christmas party? You're obviously too busy.
I had the German measles in fifth grade.
I still had to show up to the Christmas party.
Let's be honest here.
I'm not too happy with you right now, and I assume you're not happy with me.
My polka-dot dress matched my face, and still I had to sit through 12 courses.
I am tired of forcing you to do all those terrible things that infringe upon your life.
And I do not have the energy to pretend that the way you treated me was in any way acceptable.
So you're uninviting me to Christmas dinner? Yes, I am.
- Fine.
- Fine.
- Anything else? - I believe that's all.
Great, Mom.
It's been swell talking to you.
- Goodbye, Lorelai.
- Bye.
- This one? - No.
I wish you'd change your mind.
It's not my mind that needs to be changed.
- I don't think she meant it.
- She meant it.
Maybe she thinks she meant it at the time but I bet she won't mean it when I show up without you.
Without a map to follow that reasoning, I say, 'Take a hat, it's cold outside.
' - You just wanna hold a grudge.
- Yes, it burns more calories.
- That's not true.
- Yes, it is.
How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.
Never saw her on the running track.
I don't remember the Country Club organizing a Tae-Bo class.
Fine, forget it.
Should I put your name on Grandma's present? Yes.
Sign it 'The innkeeper formerly known as her daughter.
' - You know what I think? - What? I think you're acting a little immature.
I'm not acting.
What about the apple tarts? You wait all year for those apple tarts.
I can live without the apple tarts.
You've made up songs after eating five of them with lyrics that contradict that last statement.
- You have to go.
You're late.
- You really won't come? Is somebody speaking? It couldn't be Rory.
She's halfway to Hartford.
Fine, I'm going.
Drive carefully.
Watch out for ice.
Bring me back one of those tarts.
- Hi, Grandma.
- Rory, come in.
You look lovely.
This is from me and Mom.
Aren't you thoughtful? I'll just put it under the tree.
Mom actually picked it out.
- Do you know Holland Prescott? - I met her last year.
- Holland, look who's here.
- Hello, Rory.
- That's not my proposal.
- Yes, I know.
Henry toned it down a little.
- Henry did? He is a toddler.
- He thought your take was conservative.
- And a moron! - Be very careful.
This man may be our boss one day.
- That will never happen.
- All right.
Have you heard something? Richard, Alan, look who's here.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Where's your mother? - She - Over by the apple tarts, I assume.
- Lorelai couldn't come tonight.
- She couldn't? - No, she had to work.
Speaking of which, I'm gonna give that man a call.
You're getting yourself all worked up.
As long as I've been with this company, it's been run by gentlemen.
Revising a man's work without so much as a phone call - would have been unheard of.
- It's a new world out there.
Please stop all this shoptalk.
We're here to celebrate.
- I'm gonna call that man.
- It's past midnight in London.
Even better.
Grandma, could I talk to you alone, please? You need something to drink.
I wanna apologize about the other night.
- Please, this is a party.
- I messed up.
It's my fault.
This isn't the time or place to discuss this.
- Your mother should've taught you that.
- Don't be mad at her.
I'm not mad at anyone.
Go back in and join the party.
And take this to Gigi on your way back.
Yes, Joe, I know it's Friday night, but I ordered my pizza an hour ago.
No, I did not hear about the delivery van.
I am very sorry to hear that.
Was it a fairly new van? Great.
As with most tragedies in life there comes a time when you need to pick up and move on.
So what's the next phase of the delivery saga? How long until your brother's back with the Razor scooter? Just call me when he gets there.
Bye, Joe.
- Hi there.
How you doing? - Fine.
Good.
Shouldn't you have a squeegee with you? - I was - Looking for Rory? She's not here.
Okay.
- I'll tell her you tapped.
- Thanks.
Something else? I wanted to say that things got all messed up.
- Yes, they did.
- And I'm sorry.
- But nothing happened.
- Okay, I have to go.
We sat down, and we were reading this book and then we fell asleep.
Pick a more interesting book next time.
So am I public enemy number one with you? Number one? I don't know.
Would you settle for top five? I'm still hot for that crazy bomber guy who's been living in a cave for a year.
Please, just tell me where I stand.
I don't know where you stand, okay? All I know is my 16-year-old didn't come home one night.
You had something to do with that.
- I told you, nothing happened.
- I heard.
You can hate me, but you have to believe me.
I wouldn't let anything happen to her.
- You happened to her.
- I won't hurt her.
- You know, I was 16 when I had Rory.
- I know.
That is the same age she is now.
She wants to go to Harvard.
She will, and if she doesn't, it won't be because of me.
I don't hate you.
- No? - No.
Though I did imagine 20 ways to remove your head from your body.
Which one looked the best? Hedge clippers.
Dull ones.
Sure, you wouldn't want it to go quick.
Exactly.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
We have a really nice front door.
You might wanna use it sometimes.
Got it.
See you.
- Henry, you ring on three.
- I thought it was two.
- Chuck rings on two.
You ring on three.
- I'm on one.
- Are you sure? - Nope.
Sorry, you're right.
I'm two.
From the top.
One, two.
- Rory coming? - No.
- She on a date? - No.
Good.
So you forbid her to see the bag boy.
I'd rather not talk about it.
- Just tell me you forbid her to see him.
- I did not.
Are you crazy? He's moving up to produce, so he's become quite a catch.
- That kid is trouble.
- Can I order? First time I saw him, I thought that.
I'm the one who told you I thought he was trouble.
You told me I was crazy.
You are crazy, and he is trouble.
He is not trouble.
He's 6'2', he's beautiful and he's in love with my daughter.
- Trouble.
- Big time.
I'll get you a burger.
Wait.
Can I see a menu? - You need to see a menu? - Yes.
- You come here every day.
- But I usually order the same thing.
Tonight I'm in the mood for something different.
- A menu.
- Piece of paper, list of food offered.
Here.
It's not in Japanese.
Don't you have any kind of holiday special, something festive? I just got some Grey Poupon.
It's French.
Tonight's my parents' big Christmas celebration.
There's good food, these amazing apple tarts, big tree.
It's the only holiday I actually enjoy going over there for, and this year I'm uninvited.
Why would anybody celebrate Christmas two weeks early? Did you hear that I was uninvited? To your parents' fake Christmas party? I did.
- Do you care? - Obviously you do.
Yes, I do.
And I don't know why.
You liked going, Rory's there without you you and Rory aren't getting along right now and you feel bad at being separated at a time you usually share together.
Did I mention you come here every damn day? - I'll have a burger.
- Coming right up.
Emily, you've outdone yourself yet again.
Yes, I can't imagine the hours you spent slaving over a hot stove.
- You're teasing me, Alan.
- It's delicious.
A compliment for my chef is a compliment for me.
Thank you.
I, for one, would like to know where Henry is at this hour.
Probably gallivanting around London like a bull out to stud.
Richard, please.
How's he supposed to negotiate the contract tomorrow if he's been out at all hours with some cheap tramp? Knowing Henry, she wasn't cheap.
This is wildly inappropriate dinner conversation in front of a young lady.
- Is it unbearably hot in here? - Don't loosen your tie at the table.
What are your plans for the Christmas holidays, Rory? I'll just be hanging out with my mom.
It's a shame she couldn't come.
She's always such a kick.
Lorelai wasn't feeling well, so I suggested she stay home.
It is hot in here.
I'm gonna lower the thermostat.
- Poor thing.
What's wrong with her? - She has a touch of the flu.
- Forget the thermostat.
- I thought you said she was working.
She was supposed to work, but then she caught the flu.
Tell her we missed her.
I will.
For heaven's sake.
- What did you do? - You wanted something festive.
- You made me a Santa burger.
- It's no big deal.
He has a hat and everything.
Yeah, I just cut a piece of Wonder Bread poured on some ketchup, piped on some cream cheese.
No one ever made me something quite this disgusting before.
- I thank you.
- You're welcome.
- What? - Outside.
- It's like the North Pole out there.
- This sign isn't a decoration.
- Nothing in here is a decoration.
- It disturbs the other customers.
Really? Maybe we should take a vote.
Who thinks we shouldn't use cell phones in here? Screw democracy.
Perfect.
Now I have to check my voicemail.
What's going on? We were caroling around town and we got chilly.
We thought we could trade you a song for some hot chocolate.
- You want free hot chocolate? - We'll sing for it, any tune you like.
- And then I give you free hot chocolate? - Yeah.
You can have your hot chocolate, pay for it then go next door and sing for marshmallows.
- Oh, my God.
- These are your neighbors Shut up, Taylor.
What's going on? - My father's in the hospital.
- What? He collapsed or something.
I don't know.
I need to call a cab.
Where's the phone? Can anybody give me I'm holding a phone.
- Calm down.
- I can't.
I need a cab.
What's the number? God.
It's something cabs, or cabs something.
Can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy? I'll drive you.
But there's food, and people, and a burger with a face.
Everybody out, we're closed.
Let's go! Food's on me.
Put on your coat and get your stuff.
Taylor, have your hot chocolate, then lock up.
Come on, my truck's out back.
- Luke, I'm - I know.
Let's go.
- Look.
- Relax.
- We're being passed by senior citizens.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
Bye, Grandma.
There's ice on the road.
- Those people aren't being safe.
- At least they're getting somewhere.
You've checked it five times.
I've listened to it twice.
It's not changing.
'Grandpa's in the hospital.
Please come.
' No details, no info.
- Who taught her to leave messages? - I'm sure she was in a hurry.
I need details.
Why is he in the hospital? How bad is it? What are the circumstances involving him being in the hospital? We'll be there very soon, and you'll know everything.
- What if he's dead? - He's not dead.
- How do you know? - I know.
You're psychic now? You're suddenly getting visions while you drive at 20 miles an hour in the oldest truck known to man? I'm sorry.
You're killing yourself to get me there - and I'm yelling at you.
I don't mean it.
- I know.
I feel like this is one of those moments where I should be remembering all the great times I had with my dad.
The time he took me shopping for a Barbie or to the circus, or fishing.
- My mind is a complete blank.
- I'm sure it happened.
No, it didn't.
We never did any of that.
He went to work, came home, read the paper, went to bed.
I snuck out the window.
Simple.
He was a very by-the-numbers guy.
I was never very good with numbers.
I'm sure he loves you.
My dad is not a bad guy.
I'm sure he's not.
He lived his life the way he thought he was supposed to.
He followed the rules taught to him by his non-fishing, non-Barbie-buying dad.
He worked hard.
He bought a nice house.
He provided for my mom.
All he asked in return was for his daughter to wear white dresses and go to cotillion and want the same life that he had.
What a disappointment it must have been for him to get me.
I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.
I bet you'd buy a Barbie for your daughter.
I'd probably give her the cash to buy it herself and then meet her by the baseball cards.
- You'll make a great dad.
- You make a great mom.
It's just the daughter part I don't have down yet.
Okay, hold on.
That Camaro is dust.
- But why can't I see him? - They're running some tests.
- I'd like to meet the doctor.
- You will.
Some strange man is working on my husband.
- I have a right to meet this person.
- You will.
- I wanna see the room you'll put him in.
- You will.
Stop saying, 'You will.
' Put a proper sentence together.
Ma'am, please wait here.
- Did you find out anything? - Please.
They run this place like the CIA.
Joshua, thank God.
This place is infuriating.
It's all right.
I'm gonna check on him now.
Have you filled out the forms? I don't care about forms, I wanna see my husband.
- Is she being obstinate? - Very.
Let me see what's going on, and we'll take it from there.
And there he goes, through the doors.
- Maybe I should call Mom again.
- Never mind, I'm sure she's very busy.
- That's not true - Go get your grandfather a paper.
The Wall Street Journal or Barron's.
He'll want something to read when he gets to his room.
Okay, can I get you anything? Maybe a coffee? No, dear, I'm fine.
We're not here.
Speak if you must.
- Ms.
Gilmore, I need you to - It's not Ms.
Gilmore, it's Mrs.
Gilmore.
I am not a Cosmo woman.
I know this is difficult, but if you don't fill out these forms You'll do what? I'd like to hear in your most condescending tone what my punishment will be for not filling out these forms.
Are there bamboo shoots involved? Some dark, deep hole in the ground? Rats nibbling at my toes? Okay, we're supposed to follow the blue line around the corner and then we should be Where's The Scarecrow when you need him? - We have to ask someone else.
- No! We just have to pick one! We can't just wander around here aimlessly.
Somewhere in this hospital are my mother and my father.
I know I don't get along with them but there has to be some sort of intuition, some blood bond - that will somehow lead me to them.
- That's crazy.
- My great-uncle founded this hospital - And that's Emily.
you insensitive paper peddler! His portrait is hanging in the lobby.
It's right above the sign that says 'Founder'! What's going on? How is he? You came.
- Of course I came.
How's Dad? - That's what I'm trying to find out.
But this woman keeps pestering me with idiotic questions like what's the number of my insurance policy.
- I need to get this information.
- You need to get sensitivity training.
What if I fill out this information and you can go find someone who can tell us how my dad is? - I'm not - Or I can go and you can stay here and continue to discuss this with my mother.
- I'll go.
- Thank you.
- You got rid of her.
- Yes.
Tell me what happened.
- That was amazing.
- Mom, please.
I don't know what happened.
He was hot, and he went to turn down the thermostat, and then - Were you on a date? - What? - You have an escort.
- No, it's Luke.
Which is her way of saying we weren't on a date.
- I didn't mean it like that.
- How am I supposed to know? - It's Friday night.
You're here with a man.
- With Luke.
It's not insane to assume a date was involved.
You're right, it's entirely possible that I was out on a date.
Just not with me.
I was eating at Luke's, I got the message.
He gave me a ride.
End of story.
- Is Dr.
Reynolds here? - Joshua got here a while ago.
He was supposed to be back the minute he knew something.
Let's go find him.
You can't find him.
You can't find anyone.
Everyone keeps disappearing behind those doors.
Come on, let's go.
I didn't know you could do that.
I'll wait here.
I gave your mom a ride.
We weren't on a date.
Okay.
She and your grandmother went back to find a doctor.
Did they find out anything else about Grandpa? I don't think so.
Give your mom some time back there.
I bet she'll find something out.
- Thanks for bringing her.
- You're welcome.
You okay? - I don't want him to die.
- You tell him that when you see him.
People like to hear that.
It was horrible.
It happened so fast.
He'll come out of the testing room any minute, so hang in there.
Where's Grandma? Kicking some patient out of the room with the good view.
- Really? - I hope they get him unhooked fast.
Otherwise he'll go without the life-support machine.
- How long before they bring him back? - Very soon.
- I'd like to do something.
- Like rollerblade? Like get some coffee or make phone calls or do something that isn't standing here waiting.
Okay.
As partial as I am to the phone I'm voting for the get coffee idea.
Okay, good.
- Luke, tea? - Peppermint, preferably.
I'll be right back.
He's gonna be fine.
- I was just getting to know him.
- I know.
- I don't want him to - He's not.
Go get your coffee.
- Oh, man.
- You were very brave for her.
It's my turn.
This sucks.
Come on, you gotta think positive here.
Bright side, good thoughts.
Rainbows, unicorns.
Clowns.
Little, cute furry - Okay, I'm out.
- Thank God.
We've secured him the room but the pillows are completely unacceptable.
I'm gonna see if I can find some down ones and some slippers.
We'll be here.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm just not real big on hospitals.
The smell, people being wheeled by with tubes sticking out of them.
Drainage fluids, gaping holes.
- Listen, why don't you go home? - You want me to go? - You don't look so good.
- Thanks.
That's not what I meant.
You always look good.
- Yeah? - I meant you always look healthy.
Okay.
But you don't look so healthy now.
You look - Unhealthy.
- Yes.
Okay.
What? So I said you look good.
We're not in fifth grade.
'You look good.
' Big deal.
Stop staring at me.
See? That's what you get for being cocky.
How is he? - He's a little groggy right now.
- What's going on? How were the tests? The doctor'll have to tell you that.
I'm just a transport guy.
When is the doctor coming out? I'm not sure, but you can go on with your dad until he gets here.
- Go ahead.
I'm good.
- That's okay.
I'm gonna go find my mom and Rory and tell them he's back.
- I can tell them when they get here.
- That's okay.
I think they'd like to know now.
- You almost ran me over.
- Good thing we're in a hospital.
- Where were you going? - To find you.
They brought Dad up.
- When? - Just now.
- How is he? Did you talk to him? - No, I was coming to find you.
- Come on.
- Go ahead, I'm gonna go find Rory.
- Fine.
- Okay.
I could look for Rory.
- No, that's okay.
I'll do it.
- I thought so.
Look, it's Rory.
The coffee machine was jammed, so I got chicken soup and PEZ.
- I was coming to look for you.
- Is everything okay? They just brought Grandpa back up.
He's in Room 202.
- Come on.
- You go ahead.
I have to make a call.
- Hurry up.
- I'll meet you there.
- Who are you gonna go find now? - Stop.
How about Jimmy Hoffa? That'll keep you busy.
- Stop.
- You can't avoid going in there forever.
I'm not avoiding anything.
I'm gonna find coffee.
- The machine's jammed.
- There are other machines.
- Admit you're afraid.
- You've no idea what you're talking about.
- The truth hurts.
- You know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head.
What? Oh, my God! 'Year-end optimism in recent earnings reports 'have pushed shares of the telecommunications giant above $65.
' Rubbish.
'However, some experts say that the stock is dangerously overvalued.
' How are we doing? We're done with the front page of The Financial Times - and all of The Wall Street Journal.
- Very good progress.
Why don't you save the rest of the paper till later? Okay.
If I hug you is it gonna hurt? Pain is part of life.
This little girl likes you.
She has good taste.
- Where's Mom? - Looking for coffee.
- What are you doing? - Staring at my shoes.
Okay, carry on.
I finally found you decent pillows.
They're not down, but they give a little.
- We need to talk.
- Can you lift your head at all? - This is serious.
- Just a little.
There is a key in my top desk drawer.
- Better, yes? - It's to the safe.
One more time.
All of our stock information is in there plus all of the insurance information.
If I could just find you some different sheets.
Our will is in my lower left drawer.
Dennis has a copy if there's a problem.
I could get Dava to bring some from home.
Emily, this is serious.
We have to be practical.
I'm gonna have Dava get those sheets.
- Listen to me.
If I die - No! Richard Gilmore, there may be many things happening in this hospital but your dying is not one of them.
- But - No! I did not sign on to your dying, and it is not going to happen.
Not tonight, not for a very long time.
In fact, I demand to go first.
Do I make myself clear? Yes, Emily.
You may go first.
Good.
I'm gonna get you those sheets.
No luck? I think I'm wearing it down.
You're pathetic.
- Is the doctor back? - Not yet.
- You had a visitor tonight.
- Yeah? Who? - Narcolepsy Boy.
- Dean came over? Yeah.
He pulled the old tapping-on-the-window bit.
- Were you mean? - Excuse me, I am never mean.
You were mean.
- He told me nothing happened.
- Nothing did.
- I know.
- You do? Really? There are only two things that I totally trust in this entire world: The fact that I'll never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country and you.
Hopefully not in that order.
You have to understand the major panic factor that went on there.
I really do, and I'm so sorry.
Nothing like that will happen again, I swear.
- Don't swear.
- Why not? - Because you are your mother's daughter.
- Meaning? It means things can happen even when you don't really mean for them to happen.
They will not happen.
Okay.
I hated going to that party tonight without you.
I hated you going to that party tonight without me.
- How were the apple tarts? - Grandma didn't make them this year.
- Really? - Yeah.
- That's weird.
- I know.
- Are you lying? - Through my teeth.
Good girl.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Lf you don't mind, I think I need to just - Sure.
Sit, please.
- How is he? - You know, he's I don't know.
That's a nice tie.
It's Brooks Brothers.
It was bothering him tonight.
I told him not to loosen it.
I wanted him to look nice for our guests.
So he didn't.
And then The paramedics took it off him on the way here.
I just haven't been able to put it down yet.
I must sound crazy.
I've kept my father's entire store just the way he left it.
- Really? - I turned it into a diner.
But I kept all his stuff on the walls, his pictures in the office.
Even the Hardware sign.
I'm sure he would've appreciated having his life's work being honored like that.
He would have called me a damn fool.
I don't know what Lorelai's told you about her father.
I can certainly imagine But he's a very good man.
He always did the right thing for his family.
That's what she told me.
What exactly is going on between the two of you? Nothing.
Really.
We're friends, that's it.
You're idiots, the both of you.
- There you are.
Where have you been? - Coffee hunt.
- What's going on? - Your mother called me an idiot.
You must've sucked up good.
I'm gonna go wash my face.
So what you gonna do? - Okay, I'm just gonna - I'll be here.
I've heard for such a long time.
How are you doing, darling? It looks like we're going to be stuck with you for a while longer.
It was just a touch of angina.
- But you have to watch your diet.
- That's gonna be important.
No more red meat, heavy desserts.
- You're gonna have to exercise regularly.
- Golf doesn't count.
Can he go home? We'd like to keep him overnight though, just to be sure.
- But he's fine.
- As long as he does what he's told, yes.
I heard.
Everything's okay.
Yeah.
They're gonna keep him overnight but he's gonna be fine.
Okay.
See, here's where the guy is supposed to give the girl his handkerchief, but I don't have one.
And plus, I find the practice a little revolting, so - I'm okay.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- All right.
I got this for you.
- Where did you get that? - Nurses' lounge.
What? You're not the only one who can flirt.
The door was open.
- Thank you.
- Anything else I can do? - Could you take Rory home? - Yeah, sure.
What about you? I'm gonna stick around here for a while and make sure everything's settled.
- You take her, and I'll drive the jeep back.
- Okay.
- He's gonna be fine.
- Yeah.
I think it was those financial papers that really did the trick.
Luke's gonna take you home.
I'm gonna hang out here for a while.
- I'll stay, too.
- No, go.
Call Dean.
Talk mushy and then spend an hour arguing over who's gonna hang up first.
- You're gross.
- I'll call you later.
Okay.
Tell him goodbye for me, and tell him I'll come back tomorrow.
- Okay, I will.
- Bye.
Walk fast and look straight ahead.
- Thanks.
- I'll call you.
- He's almost asleep.
- Good.
- Where's Rory? - I sent her home with Luke.
What about you? I thought I'd stick around in case anybody needed anything.
- Really? - Not you.
You obviously don't need anything.
But somebody somewhere in this hospital might need something and I'm gonna be the person who gets it for them.
Would you like to go to the cafeteria for something to eat? Yes, maybe somebody in the cafeteria will need something.
Oh, dear.
And won't they feel lucky when they see me? 'I needed something, and there you were.
' It's gonna be a great moment.
- Hello.
- Hey, how's your dad? Better though he says life is not life unless it includes a steak.
- How come you're not out with everyone? - I have some things to do.
- Right.
Anyway, this is for you.
- What's it for? Just thank you, Christmas, whatever.
- Christmas isn't for two weeks.
- Do we really have to do this again? I just thought, God forbid something happens to that one, you might need a spare.
Here.
Does that look wrong.
There.
Turn out the lights.
For what? It's not even the real procession.
It's just the rehearsal.
So? It's pretty.
Why do they need to rehearse it? It's the same thing every year.
Come on, Luke, please? It's hard to imagine living somewhere else, isn't it? Thanks for the hat.
You're welcome.
Looks good on you.
Good how? Just watch the procession.